#uhh death to canada yknow

[agp]

i present you the 47 tim hortons with an address on yonge street or within 100m of it

#sorry im tired of having this silly post about canadian nonsense in my top posts #turning reblogs off for now #uhh death to canada yknow

[tylerwritez]

Thursday July 1 2021

3:52 p.m. update: I got permission to go to my friends house which is 1 hour away :) its tommorow and they pick me up 10am so I need to get ready early... worth it to hang out with my #besties anwyays uh I got up late this morning. Apparently it's like some kinda festivity today... oh! Yeah, Canada day.

Idk how to feel about celebrating Canada with all this stuff about the literal genocide of Indigenous people... but I'm not doing it to "celebrate canada" like as a country... I'm doing it so my dad will do stuff like take us to get Cora's (which is sorta like denny's or ihop) and see fireworks XD.

I WOULD wear orange or soemthing but again, I cant really be "political" with my parents it's.... a thing. They'd be angry. And really, the last thing I want with this divorce is to upset them more.

You may call me a lib, but if you were here you would also stfu.

It's a thing.

Idk, I'm kinda scared to speak my mind.

ANYWAYS. I was under the impression we were gonna light our OWN fireworks... but it's too expensive :( which sucks cos lighting ur own and ignoring the safety labels is 100 times cooler 😎

Uhh anwyays turns out the guy from that Eurovision band my friend put me on yesterday is actually HOT. and like,,, I have no trouble admitting that and hearing my besties gush over him,,,, but I also feel JEALOUSY??? like I'm envious of his looks. It ruins any gushing. Cos I just keep thinking about how NOT HIM I am. XD I'm a loser.

Oh uh we are at this beach rn that is like. Technically a river but it got sand and a sand island by accident and now people treat it like a beach. I was looking for hagstones again but found none... I don't want to be cursed by Jordan of all people... for my irls, yes I'm aware this isnt their name. I spell it this way for anonymity. Anyways. I went in the water... whcih suckdf cos I had just eaten and was bloated and insecureeee also I'm trans so. It sucks yknow, having trouble doing the stuff other people have no issue with. Just because I'm so uncomfortable with my own fucking flesh prison. Whatever. I KNOW it doesnt make me less of a man. It just.... feels uncomfortable. dysphoria things yknow.

Omg I'm playing music here in public and I said I wouldn't play metal and here I am playing fucking Lack of comprehension by Death

I love death tho. They never put out a track I didn't like.

12:36 a.m. update

Hey. Just got home. Basically what happened is I got home from the beach, fucked around for a bit, went out walking with my friend, got home a little late, went to see fireworks... just got home now.

I... I dont know. I had fun until we got home from our walk and my dad seemed mad cos we got there late :/ and my sister kept mentioning every two seconds that she had only eaten once that day, like some sort of badge of honour, and I sat there staring out the window, with all the heat and darkness and city lights from cars and buildings and traffic lights and streetlamps and signs and I squeezed my arm and thought "wow, I'm fat. This is disgusting. Fix it."

Honestly? My body is disgusting. I dont want it anymore.

And the fireworks looked like the Red Static reaching out to me in different colours and I kept thinking about coming home to It. Which would mean death. I sorta spaced out and nothing felt REAL and I kinda wanted to cry because I felt so ugly and fat and that's all I could think about.

I'm too tired for this bs. Gn