#umm yeah just a quick lil reply for you 😅

[wifegideonnav]

Do they insist to be just friends though? They just don't say they're a couple and they say they're friends which is true, but they don't say they're JUST friends, not anymore at least

ok yeah this is true, my wording could've been clearer. i was more trying to joke about the fact that they're in this weird era of very overtly trying to have their cake and eat it too. because yeah, everyone who actually knows anything about them knows, and they know we know, and we know they know we know. its. ridiculously obvious.

but on the other hand, apart from dan's coming out video, they've never actually said anything you can point to. and even in the coming out video, in the section where he talks about his relationship with phil, what dan actually says is "and obviously, we were more than friends, but it was more than just romantic" and "we are real best friends, companions through life, like, actual soulmates." on paper, he's still not admitting anything there because everything is couched in the past tense and the vaguest terms possible, and he has full deniability that he meant platonic soulmates. and meanwhile, they're having SO much fun teasing their audience, with obvious clickbait titles, blatantly referencing fan theories, etc. (and personally i think they're so valid for that lmfao like they 100% deserve to have fun with it at this point)

they've created this limbo, like i said, where they're being so overt, and yet insisting that they want their privacy, and i think to understand that one has to understand that they've always been like that. they wrote fanfiction about themselves in 2015, despite being living examples of how rpf can severely impact people's lives. in their fics, their relationship was platonic. they put their writing in their book which they then sold to tens of thousands of people, and they recorded dramatic readings of the stories for their channels and raked in the ad money. in no way do i think the fact that they've been capitalizing on the shipping for a decade makes it okay, but i do think it's important to consider. as someone very cool and well-spoken described it to me, "their whole bit is the elephant in the room." so i think it's a very strategic decision to keep their relationship status private, even though they are going to have absolutely no problem getting views for like. couples content etc lmfao.

(and im not going to go too deep into this bc its speculation and i respect their privacy so much more than i used to at 15, but i think it's also worth mentioning how much emotion must be tied into the concept of outing their relationship. there's the reckoning with the fandom that's going to have to happen, there's the really annoying and embarrassing part of having to admit that everyone was right all along, there's the massive amounts of scrutiny - and probably mainstream attention as well - that are going to be laser focused at their relationship, and also like... in the section of his coming out vid where he talks about phil, the only time dan refers to him in the 3rd person (as opposed to "we"), he says "them" and not "him."** this was years ago, but it speaks volumes to me about how uncomfortable and scared he still is about speaking openly about his attraction to men in more than in general terms or at a remove (talking about celebs or characters), which is also shown by the weird lil dance he does when saying "actual soulmates." there's such a difference between being open about how you think dudes are hot, and admitting to everyone that you are emotionally vulnerable about a same-sex partner. again, this is speculation based on my own feelings, but i do think it's at least part of the bigger picture. there's a difference between being gay as an individual and being gay in relation to someone else in terms of how society views and treats you, and i think they're hyperaware of that, because how could they not be.)

overall, they've genuinely been through the kind of hell regarding their relationship that very few people have ever experienced. in some ways, their situation is unique. mostly, that post i made was commenting on the semi-annoying, sometimes almost insulting, but fully understandable way that they're acting about their relationship. the entire situation is so deeply fucked that i do genuinely believe they've earned the right to have a little fun at their audiences expense (while the audience is even also in on the joke). because tbh its VERY funny that they haven't gone public yet.

**if you're curious the quote is: "this is someone that genuinely liked me. i trusted them. and for the first time since i was a tiny child i actually felt safe."

#umm yeah just a quick lil reply for you 😅 #you literally barely even asked #asks