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cardporter89 · 2 years

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Christian Kelch Docudrama TV Producer

Christian Kelch is now among the world’s significant content creator in the media, media marketing, and short-form programming. His exceptional techniques and thoughtful insights about the future of content creation has market trailblazers looking at his every move. In the past two decades, Christian Kelch continues to be creating important cutting-edge documentaries and tv shows about business, medicine, the finance markets, big tech, agriculture, social problems, politics and much more.

Christian Kelch

Kelch's vision and knowledge in online distribution and mainstream television has given him a better understanding to the way the internet has become and will continue to evolved into a dominating force in how audiences will consume facts and information, education, media, ideas and entertainment. Amplified by the Covid-19 pandemic, more and more media platforms, specifically standard movie theaters, had to move onward a lot quicker than expected to online streaming exclusively. Recently Kelch mentioned his visualization for the future, "The covid-19 crisis has evolved the media industry quite some time. We've been rapidly migrating on the way to streaming only and the pandemic has kick started that strategy exponentially." Recently, Christian Kelch pointed out how he could improve his partnerships spanning multiple online streaming and mainstream media networks has had the opportunity to help him distribute high quailty content all over the world. Multimedia content creation is important and vital to numerous businesses today. Consistent and quality web-based syndication points for that content material is critical. Some examples are: Vimeo, Amazon Prime Video, Red Box, Fandango Now, HBO Now, AMC Premiere, MAX GO, CBS All Access, Tubi, Crackle, Google Play, Vudu, Volta, Pure Flix, TV, Apple TV, Philo, Sling TV, Direct TV Now, Fubo TV, PlayStation, Roku, ATT&T Watch TV, Spectrum TV Essentials, Twitch, Pluto.tv, Xumo, Klowd TV, Xfinity Instant TV, NBC News Now, Slice, Hisense, MEDIATEK, Swisscom, ChangHong, RCN, RCA, Amino, Konka, Skyworth Hulu, iTunes, YouTube, Facebook and more.

The Diet Programs of Well-Known Stars

The 5-Factor Diet Regime

The dietary plan is referred to as the 5-Factor Diet (often known as the five-Factor Healthy Program). The 5 variables, that have been created by nutritionist and celeb health and fitness instructor Harley Pasternak, consist of in the components which should be incorporated into every meal: healthy proteins, complex carbohydrates, fatty acids, fiber, and h2o. In the event you adhere to this diet plan, you must eat five daily meals, all of which should have a maximum of five goods. And, you know what? You will get one cheat time each week, throughout which you may eat whatever you want without sensing responsible! Superstars like Eva Mendes, Alicia Keys, Megan Fox, and Katy Perry are acknowledged to follow this eating plan.

The Zone Diet Regime

Dr. Barry Sears, a past scientist, created this diet, which requires obtaining forty percent of the everyday full caloric intake from carbohydrate food, 30 percent from fatty acids, and 30 percent from proteins. Mainly because it enables you to deal with your craving for food and stop unnecessary eating, Sears designed the diet program according to a proper balance of proteins and carbohydrates. The encouraged every day consumption of food items contains a few segment-controlled meals and two snack food items. Identified Hollywood celebrity Jennifer Aniston was this type of wonderful supporter on this diet plan which it was referred to the "Jennifer Aniston Diet" in a few circles.

The Keto Diet

Although the ketogenic diet regime has been around for pretty much a hundred years, it can be still gaining interest these days. You will discover a good reason that keto is really well-liked. This may not be a craze diet plan. It functions, and yes it provides plenty of benefits along with weight reduction. Once you adhere to the keto diet, you happen to be providing your body exactly what it requires although getting rid of toxic compounds that slow it downward. The keto diet emphasizes very low carbs consumption, that your entire body transforms into vitality to help in fat loss. What is the issue with high carbs diet programs, and should you prevent them? Sugars are converted into glucose, leading to an increase in insulin. As insulin gets into the blood, it begins to process blood sugar, which becomes the main method to obtain power. A increase in levels of insulin can also lead to extra fat storage space. Carbohydrates and lipids are used as energy sources with the body, with carbohydrates becoming the predominant provider. As Christian Kelch Media Veteran , the greater number of carbohydrates you consume on a regular basis, the significantly less extra fat is burned up for energy. Instead, the increase in insulin will cause elevated body fat storing. Once you ingest less carbohydrates, your system goes in a status called ketosis. Consequently, the title with this lower-carb diet plan.

Keto Zuppa Toscana Soup Recipe

Ketosis permits the entire body to function on much less meals. As there are almost no carbohydrates to start with, staying in ketosis 'trains' the body to utilize fats since the main supply of power instead of carbohydrates. While in ketosis, the liver organ changes fatty acids into ketones, allowing the body to work with body fat as electricity. As a result slimming down simple and easy all-natural. You'll discover later that, besides fat reduction, the keto diet has a variety of other health advantages. Despite the fact that the keto diet is simple, some people skip beans and a loaf of bread.

This is among the most preferred superstar diet, and it would appear that many famous people and celeb instructors are still using the dietary plan for too long-expression weight reduction. AndnbspKourtney Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, Gwyneth Paltrow, Vinny Guadagnino, Megan Fox, Vanessa Hudgens, and Tim Tebow are a few celebrities that endorse it.

Hydrate

Drink plenty of water! Obviously, it is drinking water. They never cease water to drink. Superstar coach and nutritionist Harley Pasternak (whose clients include Woman Gaga, Rihanna, Megan Fox, Robert Downey Jr.) draws attentions to the value of h2o. As outlined by Pasternak, desire can often be wrongly recognized for cravings for food, so routinely sipping normal water throughout the working day might continue to keep unwanted unhealthy calories off your plate - along with your mouth.

Diet Plan Mantras and Techniques Used by Hollywood Celebs

Don't you think that obtaining the entire body you've always wanted might make you feel stronger and much more in demand of your life? It can help you really feel well informed, improve your confidence, and improve your feeling. So, if you're in search of determination to get started on eating more healthfully, why not look to your chosen celebrities' diet regimens for creativity, because they often function as function models for anyone else? This number of Hollywood celebrities has a few intriguing techniques up their sleeves which you might easily put into practice to your everyday regimen. In relation to having skin that defies your real age, you don't need to depend on harsh weight loss plans or severe diet fads.

Nicki Minaj - No Sweets or Starch

She dropped ten pounds by foregoing Snickers and potato sides for a few weeks. "I just removed sugars and starch from my diet regime 72 hours before a huge snap," she clarifies.

Hilary Duff - Give Yourself A Break

She engages in boxing routines as well as substantial jogging. She uses lots of fowl, but she also pleasures herself into a window of wine since "I adore vino."

Halle Berry – Mostly Keto Diet regime

A very important factor we do understand about Berry is she includes a wonderful physique, and we're not simply speaking about her physical appearance. Her rock-challenging figure, which she attributes to a mix of strenuous fitness center sessions as well as a ketogenic diet regime, is attributed to the celebrity. Concerning her diet regime, she informed People Television, "You may engage in a large-bum porterhouse steak if you want." "I'm sorry, nevertheless, you can't hold the baked potato." Berry also mentions she includes plenty of wholesome fats on the meal, such as avocados.

Kaley Cuoco - No Alcoholic Beverages

She abstains from alcohol based drinks as a way to have a slim body. "Alcohol brings about us to bulge... "I've become a little more conscious of a few things i put in my physique," she claims. She also operates out four to five times weekly, participating in yoga exercise, riding horses, along with other actions.

LeBron James – Stringent Keto Diet plan

LeBron started using the ketogenic diet regime in 2014 for any completely different goal than most famous people. When he journeyed carb-cost-free and sweets-free of charge for 67 days and nights, he shared with the Oregonian that he or she desired to discover how far he could press his "psychological fortitude." He possessed shed a lot weight he got to wear the pounds again as a way to contend on video game day.

Jennifer Lopez - Undertaking Cardio Constantly

She get rid of 8 lbs by ingesting lean meats, broccoli, and green beans regularly. "You go to understand how significantly you don't need the butter and breads in order to maintain your well being. You're in desperate demand for some greens! "I feel great as i consume healthier," claims the writer.

Jessica Simpson - Breakfast time of Oat meal and Modest Portions

She eats tiny helpings of poultry and porridge every day. Thrice a week, she also takes part in weight training courses.

Kourtney Kardashian – completely Keto Diet

We all know simply how much the Kardashians take pleasure in their tremendous salads, but it really ends up that a minumum of one of your sisters is another devotee in the ketogenic diet. Kourtney Kardashian uncovered in her own app this past year that she possessed a "very amazing encounter" while on a ketogenic diet.

Rebel Wilson – Exercising and the Mayr Program

In accordance with Rebel, her biggest meal of the day is morning meal, followed by a smaller lunch or dinner, along with the smallest dish of the day is her dinner. Within the morning, it is far from recommended to eat natural meals. She's likely to gorge herself on an enormous your morning meal of natural chicken eggs, green spinach, and freshly cooked a loaf of bread (or croissants).

Katie Couric – Rigid Keto Diet

Based on Women's Wellness, the 61-calendar year-outdated previous Nowadays present anchor distributed in her Instagram Stories at the end of August 2018 she did "feel much better" a week into the diet plan but recommended that she'd experienced some keto flu virus signs or symptoms. "I experienced just a little unsteady and headachy the fourth or fifth time, but I truly feel significantly better," Couric wrote on Instagram. To set it simply, the mother of two is savoring introducing excess fat to her diet regime. "I'm eating largely healthy proteins along with a small cheddar cheese," she revealed. "And I'm utilizing half-and-half during my iced coffee, and let me tell you, it's damn exceptional."

Miranda Lambert - All things in Moderation

She constitutes a strategy for her everyday calorie intake. If her breakfast time features plenty of calories, she opts to get a lower-calories dish like grilled fowl and sugary potatoes to make up. She will continue to nibble on her must-have snack food, Cheetos, though she actually is putting in every day 60 minutes-long workout routines.

Ashley Tisdale - Light Healthy Breakfast time

The initial thing she does each morning is consume fresh fruits, combined with an egg white omelet and entire-grain toast.

The best Side of T-Mobile and Netflix American Consumers Cellularnews.Web takes advantage of cookies to boost your experience and also to show you personalized advertisements. Privacy Plan Until eventually not long ago, I’ve generally rationalized my distain for smaller usage caps by disregarding The truth that I’m getting backed by […] Google Fi presents competitive ideas for those who don’t will need that Considerably information. You will get unlimited phone calls and texts for just $20 every month. Moreover, if you want an internet connection, you could simply shell out $ten a lot more for every GB you eat. Consumers can both fork out whole selling price for your cellphone or distribute payments eventually interest-totally free with EasyPay, pending credit score approval. You should wait twelve hours following Altering your plan to make additional approach variations. System modify eligibility is determined by your company. Sievert stated the intense Uncarrier strategy is exactly what any provider with The large capability and opportunities of T-Cellular would do. Depending on several research and experiences, Here's the 10 very best mobile networks inside the United states (in alphabetical purchase): Just one hanging element of the quarter’s economic exercise was paying on motor motor vehicles and areas, which elevated by Pretty much 13 p.c with the earlier a few months. Sturdy purchaser demand from customers and limited inventories drove charges increased. Eventually, T-Cell Join is actually a set of new service programs led by a $fifteen/month, 2GB plan that increases by 500MB/thirty day period for each of the initial five years a shopper stays on it. It would be joined by a $25/thirty day period, 5GB program. When you cancel your offer or service, considered one of two points will materialize: In case your Netflix account has a legitimate payment strategy (credit or debit card, one example is) on file, you'll continue on to stream uninterrupted and we will demand your payment system. I signed up for Buyer Cellular through the provider’s Web page and my totally free SIM card arrived while in the mail a couple of days later. It’s also among the few networks you could don’t need to fret above Even when you go in other places. Additionally, it has an unlimited 5G community which means you’re lined Even though you get the most recent 5G smartphone. The inventory industry rally is over the again foot, when the Nasdaq has lagged the S&P 500 for approximately a 12 months. But Apple is holding up. On a realistic level, this isn't very likely to be sustainable for T-Cellular above the long-operate and it is not a superb gain for customers. It isn't "totally free". You might be purchasing it. I feel It could be greater to pay for $131/mo for a single's plan than $one hundred forty and acquire a $nine Netflix credit score.

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heartend19 · 2 years

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Christian Kelch Expert Docudrama TV Producer

Christian Kelch has fast become among the world’s biggest executive producers in the media, broadcasting, and docudramas. His cutting edge methods and unique ideas about the future of broadcasting has market insiders closing viewing what he'll perform next. Over the past two decades, Christian Kelch has long been creating meaningful cutting-edge documentaries and television shows about business, medicine, the markets, technology, agriculture, social situations, politics and much more.

Christian Kelch

Kelch's vision and knowledge in online syndication and mainstream television has given him a unique understanding to how the internet has become and can continue to grow into a dominating force in how audiences will consume facts and information, education, media, trends and entertainment. Amplified by the Covid-19 pandemic, a growing number of media platforms, especially conventional cinemas, had to move forward more rapidly than expected to online streaming exclusively. This past year Kelch talked about his ideas for the future, "The covid-19 crisis has changed the media business indefinitely. We've been briskly moving forward on the way to streaming only and the pandemic has kick started that plan significantly." Not too long ago, Christian Kelch pointed out how he could improve his partnerships utilizing multiple online streaming and mainstream media networks has been able to help him distribute high quailty content all around the country. Media content creation is imperative to many businesses today. Consistent and effective on-line distribution points for that content material is crucial. Some examples are: Vimeo, Amazon Prime Video, Red Box, Fandango Now, HBO Now, AMC Premiere, MAX GO, CBS All Access, Tubi, Crackle, Google Play, Vudu, Volta, Pure Flix, TV, Apple TV, Philo, Sling TV, Direct TV Now, Fubo TV, PlayStation, Roku, ATT&T Watch TV, Spectrum TV Essentials, Twitch, Pluto.tv, Xumo, Klowd TV, Xfinity Instant TV, NBC News Now, Slice, Hisense, MEDIATEK, Swisscom, ChangHong, RCN, RCA, Amino, Konka, Skyworth Hulu, iTunes, YouTube, Facebook and more.

The Diet Plans of Well-Known Personalities

The 5-Factor Diet Regime

The diet program is known as the 5-Factor Diet (also called the 5-Component Dietary Prepare). The five factors, that have been developed by nutritionist and celeb health and fitness teacher Harley Pasternak, comprise of the elements that needs to be a part of each meal: proteins, sophisticated carbohydrates, fats, fibers, and h2o. Should you adhere to the diet program program, you need to consume five daily meals, all of which must have a maximum of five things. And, you know what? You get one cheat day each week, while in which you may eat whatever you want without experiencing guilty! Stars like Eva Mendes, Alicia Tactics, Megan Fox, and Katy Perry are recognized to comply with this eating plan.

The Zone Diet Program

Doctor. Barry Sears, a past scientist, developed the diet program, which calls for getting forty percent of your own day-to-day total calorie consumption from carbohydrate food, 30 percent from fats, and 30 % from healthy proteins. Because it really helps to deal with your hunger and prevent eating too much, Sears developed this diet according to a proper stability of aminos and carbs. The suggested daily intake of food items involves about three portion-controlled food as well as 2 snacks. Recognized Hollywood movie star Jennifer Aniston was this sort of great supporter with this diet plan that it was named the "Jennifer Aniston Diet program" in certain circles.

The Keto Diet Plan

Even though the ketogenic diet has been in existence for almost a hundred years, it can be still gaining popularity right now. There is a good reason that keto is so popular. This is not a fad diet regime. It really operates, and it also delivers lots of health benefits along with weight reduction. If you comply with the keto diet, you are providing the body what it really requires although getting rid of toxins that slow it downward. The keto diet focuses on reduced carb absorption, that your entire body converts into vitality to aid in fat loss. What is the problem rich in carb diet plans, and why prevent them? Carbohydrate food are turned into sugar, causing an increase in blood insulin. As insulin gets into the circulatory system, it begins to process blood sugar, which will become the principal way to obtain vitality. A increase in levels of insulin can also cause excess fat storage. Carbs and lipids are used as sources of energy through the entire body, with sugars being the predominant source. For that reason, the greater carbohydrates consume on a regular basis, the a lot less excess fat is burnt for electricity. Alternatively, the increase in blood insulin will lead to greater fat safe-keeping. Whenever you ingest less sugars, the body goes in a express known as ketosis. Consequently, the brand of this lower-carb diet regime.

Keto Pumpkin Pie Recipe

Ketosis permits the body to work on much less food items. Seeing as there are very little carbs for starters, being in ketosis 'trains' your system to utilize body fat because the main source of electricity instead of carbs. While in ketosis, the liver converts fats into ketones, enabling the entire body to make use of body fat as power. This makes slimming down easy and normal. You'll learn later that, aside from fat reduction, the keto diet carries a slew of other health advantages. Although the keto diet is simple, many people miss out on beans and loaves of bread.

This is among the most preferred movie star diet, and it would appear that many famous people and celeb instructors remain using the diet plan for too long-term weight reduction. &nbspKourtney Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, Gwyneth Paltrow, Vinny Guadagnino, Megan Fox, Vanessa Hudgens, and Tim Tebow are only a number of celebrities that recommend it.

Hydrate

Drink plenty of water! Naturally, it is drinking water. They never quit h2o. Celebrity instructor and nutritionist Harley Pasternak (whose customers include Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Megan Fox, Robert Downey Jr.) emphasizes the necessity of normal water. According to Pasternak, desire is often mistaken for cravings for food, so routinely having water from the day time might maintain unwanted energy off your plate - along with your mouth area.

Diet Plan Mantras and Methods Used by Hollywood Superstars

Don't you believe getting the entire body you've always needed might cause you to feel stronger and a lot more in control in your life? It may help you are feeling well informed, increase your confidence, and boost your disposition. So, if you're in search of enthusiasm to start eating more healthfully, why not turn to your chosen celebrities' diet regime regimens for ideas, since they often work as role models for all in addition? This band of Hollywood celebrities features a number of fascinating techniques up their sleeves which you may easily put into practice into your daily program. With regards to possessing pores and skin that defies your age, you don't must depend upon harsh weight loss plans or intense diet fads.

Nicki Minaj - No Sugars or Starch

She lost ten pounds by foregoing Snickers and potato ends for a couple of months. " sneak a peek at this site eliminated glucose and starchy foods from my diet three days before a massive shoot," she describes.

Hilary Duff - Give Yourself A Break

She engages in boxing workout routines and also considerable jogging. She consumes a great deal of chicken breast, but she also pleasures herself into a cup of wines due to the fact "I love vino."

Halle Berry – Mostly Keto Diet

One important thing we all do understand about Berry is she features a wonderful system, and we're not just referring to her visual appeal. Her rock-tough physique, which she attributes to a mix of strenuous health and fitness center trainings along with a ketogenic diet regime, is attributed to the celebrity. Relating to her diet, she told Men and women Television, "You may indulge in a major-bum porterhouse steak if you would like." "I'm sorry, however you can't hold the cooked potato." Berry also mentions she contains plenty of healthier fats on her meal, including avocados.

Kaley Cuoco - No Alcohol Based Drinks

She abstains from alcohol based drinks as a way to keep a toned figure. "Alcoholic drinks leads to us to bulge... "I've turn out to be a little more mindful of things i put in my physique," she says. She also works out four to five occasions per week, participating in yoga, riding horses, along with other actions.

LeBron James – Rigid Keto Diet plan

LeBron began after the ketogenic diet regime in 2014 for the totally different objective than most famous people. When he went carb-free of charge and glucose-free of charge for 67 days, he advised the Oregonian that he or she desired to discover how far he could drive his "mental fortitude." He experienced shed a lot excess weight that he or she got to use the lbs again so that you can contend on game day time.

Jennifer Lopez - Doing Cardio All the time

She drop 8 weight by taking in lean beef, broccoli, and green beans regularly. "You visit understand how much you don't need the butter and loaves of bread in order to take care of your overall health. You're in distressed need of some greens! "I feel better once i eat more healthy," claims this writer.

Jessica Simpson - Breakfast time of Oat meal and Tiny Portions

She eats very small servings of fowl and porridge every single day. 3 times per week, she also participates in resistance training courses.

Kourtney Kardashian – completely Keto Diet program

Everybody knows exactly how much the Kardashians appreciate their huge salads, but it ends up that one or more from the sisters is also a devotee of the ketogenic diet program. Kourtney Kardashian disclosed in her app a year ago that she had a "extremely great experience" during a ketogenic diet plan.

Rebel Wilson – Exercising and the Mayr Strategy

According to Rebel, her greatest dinner throughout the day is your morning meal, followed by a smaller meal, as well as the tiniest food throughout the day is her meal. From the morning, it is far from recommended to eat raw food items. She's more likely to gorge herself with an huge morning meal of organic and natural ovum, kale, and freshly cooked loaves of bread (or croissants).

Katie Couric – Strict Keto Diet program

As outlined by Women's Well being, the 61-year-outdated previous These days present anchor distributed on the Instagram Accounts in late August 2018 that she do "feel better" every week in the diet plan but proposed that she'd experienced some keto flu virus symptoms. "I experienced a bit unsteady and headachy the 4th or fifth day, having said that i really feel much better," Couric wrote on Instagram. To get it just, the mother of two is enjoying incorporating unwanted fat to her diet regime. "I'm having largely protein along with a tiny cheeses," she revealed. "And I'm employing one half-and-half in my iced espresso, and let me tell you, it's damn exceptional."

Miranda Lambert - Everything in Control

She will make a strategy for her day-to-day calorie intake. If Christian Kelch Veteran Media Technology Creator includes a great deal of unhealthy calories, she opts for any low-caloric dish such as grilled poultry and sweet potatoes to compensate. She is constantly munch on her must-have goody, Cheetos, even though she actually is investing in every day 60 minutes-long exercises.

Ashley Tisdale - Lighting Wholesome Your morning meal

The first thing she does every morning is eat fresh fruits, followed by an ovum white colored omelet and complete-wheat toast.

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lilithgreye · 5 months

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Your Future Spouses Job

Due to derivative astrology the 4th house rules over our future spouses career. Here are some possible careers your spouse could have with each 4th house placement. Remember that there can be more interpretations than this, but these are only some examples

Aries 4h: Firefighter, athlete, rapper, race car driver, fighter (example: ufc fighter), cop, military soldier/veteran, er dispatcher, personal trainer/bodybuilder, entrepreneur

Taurus 4h: Chef, accountant, banker, singer, podcaster, sales worker, radio host, fashion designer/stylist, model, botanist, financial manager, financial clerk, food service manager, marketing manager, cashier

Gemini 4h: Writer/journalist/poet, social media influencer, teacher, comedian, podcaster, politician, radio host, public speaker, librarian, videographer, counselor, game designer, tutor, neurologist, driver (examples: door dasher, bus driver, uber driver, etc)

Cancer 4h: Baker, real estate agent, nurse, nanny (example: travel nanny), home/interior designer/architect, marine biologist, carpenter, construction worker, counselor, professional cuddler

Leo 4h: Actor, entertainer, athlete, talent agent/director, event/party planner, theatre teacher, music teacher, hair stylist/barber, concert promoter, any career involving fame

Virgo 4h: Doctor/nurse, nutritionist, vet, comedian, news reporter, interviewer, personal trainer, therapist, lawyer, farmer, librarian, botanist, housekeeper/maid, counselor, tutor, dentist, dermatologist, neurologist, zoologist, social media influencer

Libra 4h: Singer, dancer, model, artist, fashion designer/stylist, wedding planner, makeup artist, lawyer, dermatologist, barber/hair stylist

Scorpio 4h: Detective, cop, psychologist, funeral director, coroner, banker, sex worker (example: stripper), tax preparer, bikini waxer, forensic pathologist, criminal psychologist

Sagittarius 4h: Teacher, comedian, pilot, flight attendant, astrologer, news reporter, casting agent, religious career (example: pastor), lawyer, librarian, philosopher, photographer, interpreter/translator, tutor, tour guide

Capricorn 4h: Business owner/ceo, film director, publicist, archeologist, politician, entrepreneur, historian, financial manager, carpenter, construction worker, chiropractor, dentist, sales agent

Aquarius 4h: Engineer, scientist, rapper, social media influencer, film producer, inventor, dj, humanitarian, politician, graphic designer, entrepreneur, videographer, game designer, electrician

Pisces 4h: Singer/musician, actor, astrologer, psychic, hypnotist, astronomer, artist, model, lifeguard, marine biologist, creative writer, lyricist, any career involving fame

#future spouse astrology #predictive astrology #4th house #derivative astrology #birth chart #astrology #astrology blog #astrology community #astro community #astrology chart #astrology tutorial

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crashandlivewrites · 5 months

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Spread Your Wings- Part 1

This came from some very, very horny brainrot from a porn star by the name of Manuel Ferrara and got me thinking. And writing.

Pairing: PornStar!John Price x PornStar!fem!reader

Summary: Porn wasn't your ideal career choice, but here you were. Your manager has just contacted you saying a veteran of the field has requested to work with you as he winds down his career. The only issue? You've definitely gotten yourself off to him multiple times, leaving your professionalism in question. And John, well, John's not helping the situaiton with how he treats you.

CW: MDNI 18+ content, NSFW, porn industry inaccuracies, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), fantasy relationship, John being an absolute munch (duh), consent and check ins (because John is responsible in every universe)

Word Count: 4.9k

Part 2 >

Read on Ao3

It wasn’t your first career choice, nor your second, third, or fourth. In fact, if you were honest with yourself, it was never even a thought. Yet here you were, several performances into your adult entertainment career and on a steady rise with a decent paycheque along with it. But you were yet to experience a big break, one that would just allow you to feel a little more settled, give you the standing to be pickier with the roles you selected to film. And you had feeling that this next one was going to be that breakthrough.

Holding your phone in your hand, you read and re-read the message from your manager that he’d sent you earlier in the day.

Got a personal request to film with you. John Price. Details listed below.

John Price. John fucking Price. That man practically owned the porn industry. One of the most popular male actors for almost the past couple of decades. You’d be lying to yourself if you hadn’t done a deep dive or two into his repertoire of videos on long, lonely nights with a bottle of wine and some toys to accompany you. Porn was one thing. John Price porn was another. He was older, hot, and had thick, veiny, mouthwatering cock that made you squeeze your thighs together every time you saw it. But that wasn’t what had drawn you back to his videos time and time again. It was the way he seemed almost… tender. Rough, to be sure. But also, sweet.

And he wanted to film with you. You. He had only released a few videos in the past year, slowly winding down his career to instead focus on his hobbies and other interests. Or at least that’s what his team had told the media.

The document your manager had attached to the text was a simple call sheet with the basic run down of the shoot. It was nothing you hadn’t done before. In fact, it seemed vanilla in comparison to most porn, but that’s what John Price was known for. Soft sex. Romantic sex. Pussy pleasing— if you wanted to be a little crass, but that was the reason he was a massive hit with the audience. You’d also heard from other co-stars that he was incredible to work with. Charming, attentive, and made sure his partners always felt comfortable.

And he requested you?

That was the part that stunned you the most. You stared at the two names on the call sheet, his name directly next to yours under the subheading ‘cast’. You blinked, wondering if you’d imagined it. But your name remained, and you were meeting with him in— you glanced at the time and swore. Less than an hour before you had to be on site and the drive took a good twenty minutes on a good day.

Hopping into the shower, you knew you’d have time to prep on site, but there was something in you that wanted to make a good impression on your costar, craved making a good impression to someone as decorated and well-respected as John Price in the industry.

***

As your manager was walking with you to the meeting room, you realised you’d never actually met John Price before. Sure, you’d seen him around at a few work events, but he was a rare sight at social gatherings these days. You could feel the nerves bubbling underneath your skin as your manager scrolled on his phone, muttering comments under his breath as he went.

“Pretty much one of his last videos. Or at least that’s what his manager said. I’m honestly surprised he chose you over someone more well known, but it’s great for your career.” The subtle dig wasn’t missed on you, but there was some truth to your manager’s words, and you’d been thinking the exact same. Why had he chosen to work with you, someone practically unknown to him? Maybe it was a question you’d never have an answer to as you stopped outside of the door, fixing your hair unconsciously before pushing the door open.

He was already in the room, sitting next to his own manager, Kate if you remembered correctly, with the director at the head of the table. Smiling at the group, you ducked your head and mumbled a couple of apologies about being late as you hurried to your seat, directly across from him. There was a general murmur from the room acknowledging your apologies before returning to their conversations. You swallowed thickly as you raised your head, meeting his deep blue eyes as he stared at you, the corners crinkled as a wide smile stretched over his face, a smile, it seemed, that was just for you.

“Hey sweetheart, lovely to meet you. I’m John.” He spoke lowly, quietly, as though to the of you were sharing a secret. His voice was rough but soothing, exactly like it had been in all the videos you’d watched of him. Crossing your legs, you held out your hand to shake his with your own shy grin as you introduced yourself.

“It’s an honour to be working with you, John.” It wasn’t a lie. You had a lot to gain from working with him. Just having your name on the call sheet was enough to open doors for you. The director was Nikolai, who you’d never worked with before, but you knew he was a good friend of John’s. He also shook your hand before getting the meeting underway, outlying the expectations, and going over the general script. There wasn’t much to the story, like most of John’s scenes, but you weren’t complaining. Little story meant less lines to remember and John tended to improv. Next was an overall brief of safety, a rundown of yours and John’s likes and dislikes during scenes before everything started to wrap up.

Once signing the consent forms, your manager stood up, nodding to you as he collected the form along with Kate and Nikolai.

“I’ll leave you two to it.” He spoke. Your brows furrowed, feeling your heart race as you glanced over at John who shot you a warm smile.

“John prefers to talk to his scene partners one on one beforehand.” Kate explained, patting her colleague on the shoulder. “Something he’s always done. Allows you to get to know each other a little better.”

“Oh.” Your voice was small, but you nodded as the trio left the room, leaving you alone with someone you’ve gotten off to before.

“I know it’s a little unconventional, but I feel like it smooths things out for the scene.” He explains gently, pouring two glasses of water and passing one to you. “I’ve seen your work. You’re good. I liked the one you did with Johnny.” People often think that working in adult entertainment rids you of awkward modesty, but here you were, face heating and glancing away from the older man as he fully admitted to watching your scenes and was complimenting you on your performance.

Your scene with Johnny had been enjoyable, which had been a rare occurrence in your experience in the field. It was a job after all, not filled with screaming pleasure like scenes often displayed. But Johnny had made it easy, fun. Kept the mood lighthearted during the retakes and scene cuts.

“It’s probably been one of my favourites to date. Johnny was good to work with. I know you’ve worked with him before.” John nodded.

“A couple of times for threesomes and gang bangs when he was first starting out. But I stopped doing group scenes once he got on his feet. Wasn’t really my thing.” He shrugged, eyes carefully watching you even as he lifted the glass to his mouth. You hummed, pursing your lips, and interlocking your fingers. Letting out a huff, John placed the glass down and reached out, resting one of his large hands over yours, thumb caressing your knuckles.

“You’re okay, sweetheart. I know the reputation my name can bring but I assure you, anything you’re not comfortable with, it’s off the table.” Your shoulders relaxed as your head lifted, a genuine smile on your face.

“Thanks, John. I just… you’re very seasoned in the field.” You winced at the word choice, but he chuckled, standing up to walk around the table and take a seat next to you.

“With my expertise comes the ability to adjust things to my liking. It’s why I work with Nikolai. He knows how I work, lets me run the show really and works his mastery by getting the angles that make me look mildly flattering.”

“You’re flattering from all angles, John.” At the compliment, he raised his brow, eyes trailing down your body for a moment before snapping back up to yours.

“Seen my work, have you?” He teased, the smile turning cocky as he leaned back in his chair, rested his cheek on his fist. You shot him a look of your own, which answered everything. “So, you know how I tend to conduct my scenes?”

“You like to please your viewers.” You answered confidently (answering questions about your scene partners sex scenes is something both normal to want and possible to do, right? You might even get a good grade.) “Your tendency to lean towards softer sex brings in a more female-dominant audience.” The smile reaches his eyes, lighting them up in a way you found particularly charming.

“I like to please pussy. An important distinction.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “It’s why I became more selective about my scene partners.”

You were thankful your legs were already crossed over, covering the urge to squeeze your thighs together at the lowering of his tone. A question nagged in the back of your mind. Why you? But you weren’t confident enough to ask it.

“How do you want the scene to run?” You asked instead, turning the conversation back a little more professional. John shrugged.

“I like to let things flow semi-naturally. Enjoy a lot of sensual touching and kissing. I’m getting older so I don’t enjoy the rough and fast constant fucking like I used to. Also, a lot harder to keep it going for that long.” He glanced over at you out of the corner of his eye. “Besides, I find my scene partner enjoys it more when there’s a lot more sensual physical contact involved.”

“And how would you know that?” Your voice was coyer than you felt, leaning towards him as you placed your elbow on the arm rest. His head tilted the expression on his face overwhelmingly cocky as he snorted.

His voice lowered to a velvety purr. I’ve become good at reading people, sweetheart. I can tell the difference when people fake feeling good, and who’s actually into it. If I’m going to spend my time coming into a studio, I want to enjoy the day’s work, and for my partner to as well.”

The hairs on your arms stood on end as his voice lowered, his eyes boring into yours as he waited patiently for you to respond. Running your tongue along the line of your teeth, you processed his words.

“How do you know that we’ll work out, though? We’ve never worked together before. Wouldn’t it be easier doing a scene like this with someone you’re more comfortable with?”

“Sweetheart,” John shuffled forward on the chair, placing a reassuring hand on your thigh, thumb tracing over the inside of your knee. “I’ve watched your work; seen what scenes you feel more comfortable with. Had Kate speak to your manager too, to get an idea of what your preferences were. I think we’ll work out fine.”

“You asked about me?” Your eyes were fixed on where his hand rested, looking at the thickness of his fingers and swallowing.

“I like to know who I’m working with. But I also had to listen to Johnny talk about you for hours after his scene. Thought I should take the buck down a peg and show him how a real veteran pleases a lady.” His breathing was levelled and composed, the complete opposite to yours, allowing him to hear exactly how much he was affecting you. You swallowed thickly as you tried to keep some semblance of professionalism while his thumb rubbed slow circles into your thigh, and you began to worry about the state of your panties.

“It’s porn, John.” You whispered, eyes blinking rapidly as you tried to surreptitiously shift in your seat. “It’s acting, it’s a job.”

“Doesn’t have to be, sweets. Who says you can’t enjoy your work? Especially when you’re good at it, huh?” His smile broadened as he lifted his free hand to smooth over the bristles of his thick beard. Squeezing your thigh one last time before standing up, cupping your chin to ensure your head follows his movements.

“You can back out at any time. Just say the word. But until then, I’ll see you in 30 on set, yeah? You’ll find your uniform in your change-room.” Two fingers tapped your cheek before he stepped out of the room, leaving you alone, hot, and bothered. Thank fuck for the change of clothes. Hopefully you wouldn’t soak through these panties as well, but after all, it is porn.

Taking a bit of time to freshen yourself up, you stood, staring down at the so-called ‘uniform’ John had told you about. A thin satin slip nightdress with some lacy white underwear, bra foregone. You couldn’t help but feel your heart in your throat at the thought of John specifically picking out the piece with you in mind. Surely, he’d done this with all of his costars.

As you thought back to each of his videos, trying to recall what each of them had been wearing, unwarranted jealousy filled your head instead and you squeezed your eyes tight. He was a costar. Nothing more. This was his job. He was many years your senior. It was silly, childish, and petty to get jealous over the other people he’d slept with, especially professionally. But he’d chosen you to film with, and that stirred some primal, possessive part of you, and you slid the silk over you, wondering how thick fingers might rip it off.

A knock at the door pulled you out of your head, snapping you into gear as you changed. Pulling it open, you saw Kate standing there waiting. Her gaze remained professional as she admired the dress.

“It suits you well. John’s always had a good eye for things like that. Come, let’s head to set.” Walking at a steady pace, you kept the conversation flowing.

“Does John usually do things like this?” You pointed down at the dress, trying to keep your tone neutral. Kate laughed lightly, shaking her head.

“Not always. Usually only with his favourites.” She gazed at you out of the corner of her eye. “But he’s so winding down on his career, so maybe he’s just in a generous mood.” There was something in her tone that left you feeling slightly baffled, no closer to understanding the reason why he’d picked this out for you.

Stepping into the studio, the first person you noticed was John, dressed in a button-down shirt with fitted slacks. He whistled lowly, eyes unabashedly roaming over your figure.

“Look at you. Knew that colour would suit you well. Come. The sooner we get started, the sooner we can enjoy ourselves, yeah?” He held out a hand, motioning towards the set.

“You didn’t have to.” You breathed, glancing down at the dress. “But I really appreciate the gesture. Almost makes me feel bad for not getting anything for you.” Taking his hand, he leads you towards the bedroom set, where you were playing his partner in an established relationship, waiting for him to come home late from work.

“The gift is working with you, sweets, and looking so perfect in that dress.” His stare was a little hungrier this time, raking over your body. Squeezing your hand, he stepped back behind the camera as Nikolai motioned for the scene to begin.

***

As you stood leaning over the kitchen bench, you hear John step onto the set, placing down the empty prop briefcase as he sighed heavily.

“Hey, sweetheart. I’m home.” A hand clasped over your hip as he pulled you towards him, burying his face in your neck. Reaching up, you cupped the back of his head, humming softly as you tilted your pelvis back against his. His fingers dug into your hip firmly, a deep rumble in his throat probably not audible enough to be picked up by the microphone.

“Welcome home, honey. Did you have a good day?

“Better now that I’m here.” He replied almost instantly, body hands now cupping your body, breath heavy on your skin as he trailed his fingers up and down the lines of your body. “Especially when my wife is lookin’ so pretty in what I bought her.”

His… wife? That hadn’t been specified in the script. Sure, it said an established relationship, but there was something that stirred inside you at the sound of that word coming from his mouth in reference to you. And so, you played along.

“Gotta make sure I look pretty for my husband, don’t I?” You purred, turning your head to his as you grinned, pressing your lips to his temple, nails dragging over his scalp.

“Always look pretty, lovey. Pretty for me, hmm?” God he really was good at making his costars feel wanted, pinging the right receptors in your brain that craved this for real. You moaned prettily, arching your back for both John and the camera as his hands slid up your front, thick fingers ghosting teasingly over your breasts as he mouthed at your neck. Whimpering, you placed one hand over his, trying to urge his hand down, but he tittered in your ear.

“So desperate, aren’t you? Don’t worry, you’ll get what you want. Just let me play with you first, yeah?” You nodded at him as you glanced over your shoulder. There was no way you were going to say no, not with the way his large hands were running over your body, tugging the pathetic excuse for clothing as he went. Your lashes fluttered as his lips sealed over your neck, sucking softly as he ground his erection into your ass.

God he was already hard. The voice of reason in the back of your head told you he’d most likely taken viagra like a lot of the men did to keep it up for so long, but the fantasy you were playing through your head liked to think it was all you. Letting out another low growl, John bared his teeth, biting into your neck before sucking soothingly.

“No marking!” You heard your manager exclaim in the background, before being hushed by Nikolai.

“Don’t interrupt. He knows what he’s doing.”

As if to spite your manager further, John swept your hair away, latching onto the other side of your neck, drawing out a soft moan as you clung to his short hair, encouraging him further.

“Yes! Please! Mark me as yours.” John presses his weight against you, causing you to fall forward onto your elbows on the bench. Hands cupped the globes of your ass roughly as he pressed a line of kisses down your exposed spine.

“My pretty fuckin’ wife, aren’t ya?” His voice was thick with desire as his fingers teased the hem of your dress, scrunching it up until it lifted over your ass. John groaned as he revealed the swell of your cheeks, the thin straps of the white thong he’d bought barely covering anything. “Look at you. So fuckin’ pretty. Too fuckin’ pretty for me. Can’t believe you married me. I’m so lucky to have you, sweets. Perfect girl f’me ain’t cha?”

Your head was spinning as the words of praise kept coming. Bent over the kitchen bench, ass on display for him, and held down by one of his strong arms made you feel incredibly vulnerable yet secure in a way you hadn’t felt filming before.

“One leg up for me?” He tapped the outside of your thigh, and you hitched it up obediently, knee resting on the bench to expose yourself further to him. John let out a low breath as he sunk to his knees between your spread legs. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see a camera following his movements and so, like you’d been taught, you clenched, causing your clothed cunt to throb for the camera. And for John. You heard him chuckle and glanced over your shoulder to see him staring up at you with a brow raised.

“Cheeky thing.”

His hands ran up the backs of your legs, causing you to shiver in anticipation. His breath was close to where you wanted him and you whined in response, tilting your hips back ever so slightly to display your soaked underwear better for the camera. At that movement, John clicked his tongue and slapped your ass.

“This pussy’s mine, y’hear?” He growled almost possessively, fingers digging into the backs of your thighs, keeping your legs spread for him. “Look at you. So wet and eager for me, huh? Bought you these pretty knickers and you’ve already ruined them.” One finger gently traced along the length of your clothed slit, and you keened, trying to push your hips back to gain more friction, but his other arm wrapped around your hips, pinning them to the cold bench.

“Don’t get greedy now, sweetheart. You’ll get what you want, just let me admire you first.” Already, your legs were trembling as his thumb brushed against your clit. Gasping a little excessively for the camera, you bit your lip, fingers pressing into the stone below you as you felt him lift up the soaked underwear and pull them to the side.

“Oh love.” He cooed, blowing gently on your sensitive, exposed skin. “You’re so wet. Have I been neglecting my duties as your husband? Not been treatin’ my wife right and leaving her desperate and utterly drenched. You been wet and wanting all day, sweets?” Though you couldn’t see his face, you could hear the smirk in his voice, hear the cockiness as even he knew you were this wet for him naturally.

Moaning in affirmation, you shook your ass in his face. “God please… need your mouth on me, sir. Need it so badly.” He chuckled, thumb returning to brush against your clit, this time with no fabric in the way.

“Being so polite, love. You really do want it, huh? My mouth on your pretty pussy? Look at it. So swollen and needy.” Gritting your teeth in impatience, you glanced over your shoulder, meeting his cocky gaze as lips pulled into a smirk.

“Please, I need your mouth on me. I’m so wet for you. Want your tongue in my cunt.” The smirk faded slightly from his face and his eyes narrowed as he stared up at you for a moment. One finger steadily tapped against your thigh as time seemed to ooze by. Gulping, your brows furrowed, unsure if you’d said something wrong, but then he winked and leaned forward, licking a fat stripe up your slit.

Breath hitching at the sudden movement, a broken moan left your lips as your eyes fluttered closed. Your body clenched as your hips twitched, angling them slightly to follow John’s tongue. Chuckling darkly, John whispers into your cunt, your own ears barely able to pick up the words.

“There’s the real you, sweetheart. Gimme more of that.”

The soft whimpering from your mouth just urged him on, his tongue licking broad strokes over your cunt before he slid his fingers between your labia, spreading them to flick the tip of his tongue delicately over your clit. Jumping at the direct stimulation, you tried to pull away from him, but his arm still held firm over your hips.

“None of that now, love. You’ll take what I give you like my good little plaything, yeah?”

“Oh fuck…” You whispered under your breath, eyes fluttering as you nodded. Taking that as permission, he dove back in, lavishing your cunt like he was starved. His tongue dragged up the length of your slit before plunging in to taste you deeply, thumb working over your clit. Then, he kissed his way down so his lips could replace his thumb, sealing themselves over the bundle of nerves, sucking and flicking it at the same time.

The bristles of his facial hair burned the insides of your thighs pleasurably as he buried his face into your wet pussy, nose prodding your hole as his mouth continued to work you over. His hands ran up your legs, caressed the backs of your thighs, and over your ass to spread your cheeks wider, giving him more room to work with.

“John… oh my god John please!” You buried your face into the crook of your elbow as you moaned pitifully, feeling a genuine orgasm rising much faster than you were expecting.

“Lift your head up!” The sharp voice of your manager broke you out of the fantasy and propelled you back to the reality of the moment. You were at work, filming. This wasn’t for personal pleasure; it was meant to be marketable for audiences. Lifting your head up, you tipped it back slightly, putting on a face for the camera as you moaned, not that you needed to fake much with the way John was devouring you.

Snarling at the interruption of your manager, John’s fingers dug tighter into the meat of your ass, tongue swirling around your clit in sharp circles as he groaned, the vibrations running through your body, causing you to press your hips back onto his face. A guttural noise rumbled in his chest as you did so, and he pulled away. John was panting heavily as he stared at you swollen, wet cunt, eagerly twitching and throbbing for more.

“You have no idea how fucking good you taste, do you love?” His voice was gruff, lustful as he ran two fingers through your folds once more, spreading them to reveal your cunt so he could spit, and then plunge two fingers into you. Almost immediately, he hooked them expertly, just right to press insistently against that spongy spot inside you as he trailed soft kisses along your inner thighs. His beard was soaked with your juices, leaving the feeling of sticky wetness behind as he returned to your clit.

Sucking in air, you felt your body beginning to slide over the smooth surface of the bench as your body temperature rose. John’s mouth returned to your sex, teeth gently grazing over the hood of your clit before pressing his tongue against you and sucking. Letting out a high-pitched wail, you felt yourself clenching around his fingers, hips bucking into his mouth as he continued to pleasure you. Unable to find purchase on anything stable, you gripped your own hair, throwing your head back as you moaned loudly, feeling your inevitable climax approaching.

It wasn’t like you hadn’t orgasmed at work before, but it wasn’t common. And when it had happened, it certainly wasn’t this intense. Heart beating rapidly and your breathing quickened as the tandem effort of his fingers and mouth brought you closer. John could tell too, with the way he kept the same rhythm of his fingers and mouth, letting out muffled groans when he felt your pussy squeeze around his digits. You felt your entire body clenching before spasming, your orgasm rushing through your body as you twitched and jerked uncontrollably.

“Fuck John… fuck!” You moaned lewdly, remembering to at least roll your eyes back excessively for the sake of the camera, when all you wanted to do was bury your face into your arm as your body shook from the intensity of your climax.

John had pulled his mouth back, working you through your release with his fingers inside you and his thumb on your clit. Your juices dribbled down his arm and between your legs, puddling on the floor below you as he crooned.

“Oh, fuck look at you. Fuckin’ squirting for me ‘n all. Good fucking girl. Good fucking girl! Knew you could do it. You’re so fucking hot, love. Wish I coulda seen that pretty face as you came like that.” He pressed soft kisses to your thigh between his sweet, vulgar words, fingers slapping gently over your clit to extend your orgasm for as long as possible before you jerked, the overstimulation settling in.

Withdrawing and rising to his full height, John flipped you around effortlessly, so you were on your back and tugged you close. He wrapped your legs around his hips and pulled your body up by the back of your neck so he could seal his mouth over yours. Trying to fight the urge to simply go limp, you gripped onto his thick arms, but you could feel yourself sagging. Noticing, John pulled back, resting his forehead on yours.

“Need a break, sweets?” He whispered, his voice earnest, and you knew he was looking out for you. His grip tightened around you, making sure he was holding you steady as you made up your mind.

“I think so.” You nodded, sucking in breaths to try and calm your racing heart. “Haven’t cum that hard in a while, sir. I think I’ll need a breather.” He hummed, pressing a reassuring kiss to your cheek before signalling Nikolai over your shoulder. You heard the director yell to cut as John ran his fingers down your arms soothingly.

“Tell me what you need.”

#crash writes #captain john price x reader #john price x reader #captain price x reader #captain john price smut #john price smut #captain price smut #call of duty #call of duty smut #john price x you #captain price x you #pornstar!price

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etoilesbienne · 4 months

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re: boundaries

I've made many posts previously on this subject already, so people are already aware of my stance regarding disliking the way "boundaries" as a concept are used by the mcyt fandom, however I want to have a brief meditation on why this is the case, and a look at common arguments about them.

however i do want to make clear that i don't mind boundaries as a concept, actual boundaries. as in "if you do x, i will respond with y" kinds of boundaries. I think cc are completely fair and understandable in this kind of perspective. if someone makes a kind of content they dislike, they're free to block that fan or express discomfort over it. That's normal.

my critical eye is turned toward the fandom's perception of "boundaries" as a sort of fandom ruleset, either you follow them with the in-group, or you're thrown in the out-group and labelled all sorts of insults, anywhere from a criminal offender to just having people be plain nasty toward you. this in my opinion, really feeds into the fandom habit of having "cliques" as fandoms are social networks that are voluntarily joined. i find it juvenile at best.

at worst, on the other hand, is the concept of mcyt having mixed in kpop stan culture around 2019 with smplive (great server. horrific fandom at the time it was run. all of the smplive fans still left are veterans worthy of respect for surviving that.), which caused a very explosive mixture.

kpop fandom has this outlook and parasociality toward idols because these idols are borderline unreachable. even in smaller groups, companies generally (not always.) discourage idols from talking one-on-one selectively with fans. there deserves to be a more thorough examination of kpop fandom with stan culture, that i believe i am not fully qualified for. my point is that kpop idols are a hell of a lot harder to reach for english fans, whether through language barrier or through professionality done by companies.

the explosive mixture is bringing this same mentality - the mentality that these people you look toward as the main source of the fandom as being untouchable, perfect people. it's dehumanizing in its own right, but aside from that, it creates a dangerous fandom situation. as best shown using smplive with CallMeCarson from before.

CMC is the origin point of boundaries within the MCYT fandom, having held a live in fall of 2019 talking about how a popular danganronpa themed wattpad smplive fanfiction was upsetting for him to read. CMC had an intense fanbase that could and would look up to him no matter what. of course the fanbase would go after and harass this author off of the internet and deleting their work (which remained lost media until this January of 2024. Almost half a decade.) after this situation, only months later it comes out that CMC had in fact been manipulating women aged 17 to early 20s, into sexual dms and sending him explicit photos of themselves for around a year. i am of the opinion CMC would have done this behavior regardless, however, the fact he had access to so many women who put him on a pedestal without considering he could exploit them was exacerbated by the stan culture mentality of mcyt's fandom at the time. this is not a criticism of the women, it is a criticism of the fandom culture of the time for failing to treat carson as a human being who had every capability to treat people like this.

no cc is exempt from that mentality by the fandom. carson knowingly used his position within the fandom to make the choice to do that to those girls. no cc should be exempt from the real possibility of the consideration that they can fuck up, not always in the way that they necessarily need to be cancelled or deplatformed, carson is an extreme example that is absolutely not representative of cc as a whole, but there needs to be a healthy level of doubt and separation between creators and fans.

to reiterate: cc are not your friends. cc do not need you to speak for them. you do not know these people personally. to present your defense of them and their personal opinions like you spoke to them directly and are close friends is dangerous, both for yourself, and for other fans in the community.

everything i have listed is why i always will be critical toward any fan group or clique that presents themselves as being pillars of the community, and why i am critical of any page or resource that tries to list "boundaries" as hard fast rules to be self policed by the fandom. not only is that punitive mentality, it's careless and poor understanding of how communities at large work.

i don't think a "boundaries" list is necessarily a bad idea in the long run either, if these lists were, like, compilations of streamers' twitch chat rules, that'd be cool! but generally these lists lack any nuance of why and where some boundaries may apply. like a ton of streamers hate ships being spammed in chat, but could give less of a fuck about people making ship fanart. or like wouldn't care as long as the ship art isn't put in their main tag.

as well as the general ignoring of regular boundaries, we all remember the horror show of people dono-ing to cc in 2020-22 asking for their boundaries right? like just so we're explicitly clear, walking up to someone and asking what someone's opinion of making adult content of them is very much sexual harassment. that's objectively something fans should not be asking to cc. if they want to say something, they can speak up on their own. they do not need your prompting. if you wouldn't ask it to your boss in an office, don't ask cc it. tangentially related is the ignoring of boundaries based on disliking fans harassing each other or other cc. those boundaries never get to be prioritized for a reason, as those behaviors feed into the stan culture mentality of pitting sources against each other in fan wars.

parasociality and stan culture turn mcyt fandom into a power vacuum where fans who like to self-police to a dangerous extent try to take charge. this makes the fandom worse.

#ive had this in my drafts for months might as well drop this now LOL #discourse #mcyt discourse #posts from the aether

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mightyflamethrower · 9 months

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In the last 20 years, the Left has boasted that it has gained control of most of America institutions of power and influence—the corporate boardroom, media, Silicon Valley, Wall Street, the administrative state, academia, foundations, social media, entertainment, professional sports, and Hollywood.

With such support, between 2009-17, Barack Obama was empowered to transform the Democratic Party from its middle-class roots and class concerns into the party of the bicoastal rich and subsidized poor—obsessions with big money, race, a new intolerant green religion, and dividing the country into a binary of oppressors and oppressed.

The Obamas entered the presidency spouting the usual leftwing boilerplate (“spread the wealth,” “just downright mean country,” “get in their face,” “first time I’ve been proud of my country”) as upper-middle-class, former community activists, hurt that their genius and talents had not yet been sufficiently monetized.

After getting elected through temporarily pivoting to racial ecumenicalism and pseudo-calls for unity, they reverted to form and governed by dividing the country. And then the two left the White House as soon-to-be mansion living, mega-rich elites, cashing in on the fears they had inculcated over the prior eight years.

To push through the accompanying unpopular agendas of an open border, mandatory wind and solar energy, racial essentialism, and the weaponization of the state, Obama had begun demonizing his opponents and the country in general: America was an unexceptional place. Cops were racist. “Clingers” of the Midwest were hopelessly ignorant and prejudiced. Only fundamental socialist transformation could salvage a historically oppressive, immoral, and racist nation.

The people finally rebelled at such preposterousness. Obama lost his party some 1,400 local and state offices during his tenure, along with both houses of Congress. His presidency was characterized by his own polarizing mediocrity. His one legacy was Obamacare, the veritable destruction of the entire system of a once workable health insurance, of the hallowed doctor-patient relationship, and of former easy access to competent specialists.

Yet Obama’s unfufilled ambitions set the stage for the Biden administration—staffed heavily with Obama veterans—to complete the revolutionary transformation of the Democratic Party and country.

It was ironic that while Obama was acknowledged as young and charismatic, nonetheless a cognitively challenged, past plagiarist, fabulist, and utterly corrupt Joe Biden was far more effective in ramming through a socialist woke agenda and altering the very way Americans vote and conduct their legal system.

Stranger still, Biden accomplished this subversion of traditional America while debilitated and often mentally inert—along with being mired in a bribery and influence-peddling scandal that may ultimately confirm that he easily was the most corrupt president to hold office in U.S. history.

How was all this possible?

Covid had allowed the unwell Biden to run a surrogate campaign from his basement as he outsourced his politicking to a corrupt media.

Senility proved a godsend for Biden. His cognitive disabilities masked his newfound radicalism and long-accustomed incompetence. Unlike his past failed campaigns, the lockdowns allowed Biden to be rarely seen or heard—and thus as much liked in the abstract as he had previously been disliked in the concrete.

His handlers, the Obamas, and the Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren radical Democrats, saw Biden’s half-century pretense as a gladhander—good ole Joe Biden from Scranton—as the perfect delivery system to funnel their own otherwise-unpopular leftwing agendas. In sum, via the listless Biden, they sought to change the very way America used to work.

And what a revolution Biden’s puppeteers have unleashed in less than three years.

They launched a base attack on the American legal system. Supreme Court judges are libeled, their houses swarmed, and their lives threatened with impunity. The Left promised to pack the court or to ignore any decision it resents. The media runs hit pieces on any conservative justice deemed too influential. The prior Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer whipped up a mob outside the court’s doors, and threatened two justices by name. As Schumer presciently put it, they would soon “reap the whirlwind” of what they supposedly had sowed and thus would have no idea what was about to “hit” them.

Under the pretense of Covid fears, balloting went from 70 percent participation on election day in most states to a mere 30 percent. Yet the rates of properly rejected illegal or improper ballots often dived by a magnitude of ten.

Assaults now followed on hallowed processes, laws, customs, and institutions—the Senate filibuster, the 50-state union, the Electoral College, the nine-justice Supreme Court, Election Day, and voter IDs.

Under Biden, the revolution had institutionalized first-term impeachment, the trial of an ex-president while a private citizen, and the indictment of a chief political rival and ex-president on trumped up charges by local and federal prosecutors—all to destroy a political rival and alter the 2024 election cycle.

Biden destroyed the southern border—literally. Eight million entered illegally—no background checks, no green cards, no proof of vaccinations. America will be dealing with the consequences for decades. Mexico was delighted, receiving some $60 million in annual remittances, while the cartels were empowered to ship enough fentanyl to kill 100,000 Americans a year.

“Modern monetary theory,” the Leftist absurdity that printing money ensures prosperity, followed. It has nearly bankrupted the country, unleashed wild inflation, and resulted in the highest interest rates in a quarter-century. Middle-class wages fell further behind as a doddering Biden praised his disastrous “Bidenomics.”

Biden warred on fossil fuels, cancelling federal leases and pipelines, jawboning lending agencies to defund fracking, demonizing state-of-the-art, clean-burning cars, and putting vast areas of oil- and gas-rich federals lands off-limits to drilling.

When gas prices predictably doubled under Biden and the 2022 midterms approached, he tried temporarily to lease out a few new fields, to drain the Strategic Petroleum Reserve, and to beg the Saudis, and our enemies, the Iranians, the Venezuelans, and the Russians, to pump more oil and gas that Biden himself would not. All this was a pathetic ruse to temporarily lower gas prices before the mid-term elections.

Biden abandoned Afghanistan, leaving the largest trove of military equipment behind in U.S. military history, along with thousands of loyal Afghans and pro-American contractors.

Biden insulted the parents of the 13 Marines blown up in this worst U.S. military debacle since Pearl Harbor. He lied to the parents of the dead that he too lost a son in the Iraq war, and when among them later impatiently checked his watch as he seemed bored with the commemoration of the fallen—and made no effort to hide his sense that the ceremony was tedious to him.

Vladimir Putin summed up the Afghan debacle—and Biden’s nonchalant remark that he wouldn’t react strongly to a “minor” invasion of Ukraine if it were minor—as a green light to invade Ukraine.

When Biden did awaken, his first reaction was an offer to fly the Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelenskyy out of the country as soon as possible. What has followed proved the greatest European killing ground since the 1944-45 Battle of the Bulge, albeit one that has now fossilized into a Verdun-like quagmire that is draining American military supply stocks and killing a half-million Ukrainians and Russians.

Suddenly, there are three genders, not two. Women’s sports have been wrecked by biological men competing as women, destroying a half-century of female athletic achievement. Young girls in locker rooms, co-eds in sororities, and women in prison must dress and shower with biological men transitioning to women by assertion.

There is no longer a commitment to free speech. The American Civil Liberties Union is a woke, intolerant group trying to ban free expression under the pretense of fighting “hate” speech and “disinformation.”

The Left has revived McCarthyite loyal oaths straight out of the 1950s, forcing professors, job applicants, and students applying for college to pledge their commitment to “diversity” as a requisite for hiring, admittance, or promotion. Diversity is our era’s version of the Jacobins’ “Cult of Reason.”

Race relations hit a 50-year nadir. Joe Biden has a long history of racist insults and putdowns. And now as apparent penance, he has reinvented himself as a reverse racial provocateur, spouting nonsense about white supremacy, exploiting shootings or hyping racial tensions to ensure that an increasingly disgusted black electorate does not leave the new Democratic Party.

The military has adopted wokeism, oblivious that it has eroded meritocracy in the ranks and slashed military recruitment. It is underfunded, wracked by internal suspicion, loss of morale and ginned up racial and gender animosity. Its supply stocks are drained. Arms productions is snail-like, and generalship is seen as a revolving door to corporate defense contractor board riches.

Big-city Democratic district attorneys subverted the criminal justice system, destroyed law enforcement deterrence, and unleashed a record crime wave. Did they wish to create anarchy as protest against the normal, or were they Jokerist nihilists who delighted in sowing ruin for ruin’s sake?

Radical racial activists, with Democrat endorsement, demand polarizing racial reparations. The louder the demands, the quieter they remain about smash-and-grab looting, carjacking, and the swarming of malls by disproportionally black teens—even as black-on-black urban murders reach record proportions.

In response, Biden tried to exploit the growing tensions by spouting lies that “white supremacy” and “white privilege” fuel such racial unrest—even as his ill-gotten gains, past record of racist demagoguery and resulting lucre and mansions appear the epitome of his own so-called white privilege.

This litany of disasters could be vastly expanded, but more interesting is the why of it all?

What we are witnessing seems to be utter nihilism. The border is not porous but nonexistent. Mass looting and carjackings are not poorly punished, but simply exempt from all and any consequences. Our downtowns are reduced to a Hobbesian “war of all against all,” where the strong dictate to the weak and the latter adjust as they must. The streets of our major cities in just a few years have become precivilizational—there are more human feces on the sidewalks of San Francisco than were in the gutters of Medieval London.

The FBI and DOJ are not simply wayward and weaponized, but corrupt and renegade. Apparently the perquisite now for an FBI director is the ability either to lie while under oath or better to mask such lying by claiming amnesia or ignorance.

Immigration is akin to the vast unchecked influxes of the late Roman Empire across the Danube and Rhine that helped to finish off a millennium-old civilization that had lost all confidence in its culture and thus had no need for borders.

In other words, the revolution is not so much political as anarchist. Nothing escapes it—not ceiling fans, not natural gas cooktops, not parents at school board meetings, not Christian bakeries, not champion female swimmers, not dutiful policemen, not hard-working oil drillers, not privates and corporals in the armed forces, not teens applying on their merits to college, not anyone, anywhere, anytime.

The operating principle is either to allow or to engineer things to become so atrocious in everyday American life—the inability to afford food and fuel, the inability to walk safely in daylight in our major cities, the inability to afford to drive as one pleases, the inability to obtain or pay back a high interest loan—that the government can absorb the private sector and begin regimenting the masses along elite dictates. The more the people tire of the leftist agenda, the more its architects furiously seek to implement it, hoping that their institutional and cultural control can do what ballots cannot.

We could variously characterize their efforts as destroying the nation to save it, or burning it down to start over, or fundamentally transforming America into something never envisioned by the Founders.

Will their upheaval succeed? All the levers of the power and money are on the side of the revolutionaries. The people are not. And they are starting to wake to the notion if they do not stop the madness in their midst they very soon won’t have a country.

A perfect metaphor for what the progressives have done to America.

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welcometothejianghu · 9 months

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Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 成化十四年/The Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty

(The) Sleuth of (the) Ming Dynasty (it's hard to get an agreement on how many definite articles should go where) is a beautiful, high-budget 2020 drama about a weenie genius detective, his long-suffering and deeply traumatized sugar daddy, and the eunuch with the most difficult job in the Great Ming: keeping these two dumbasses from getting their fool selves imperially executed.

Depending on how you like it, it's either an OT3 or an OTP with an intense, underage third wheel, and either way, it's delightful. I wouldn't call it a comedy, but it has very many funny elements that keep the drama fun and engaging. The first half is full of shorter mysteries that are clever and thoughtfully plotted, and the second half goes in on the longer mystery that ties them all together.

I've already done my quick guide to the early-episode characters, if you want a taste of just how many people are running around and how wonderful they all are. But in case you want to know a little bit more before you commit yourself to a 48-episode series, here's five reasons I think you should watch it!

1. The whole thing smacks of gender

Yeah, this was originally going to be selling point #2, but I know what the people want.

This is not a show about gender. But boy it is a show that has a lot to say about gender, and not just by way of critiquing premodern Chinese gender roles (though it does do that!). Many of the cis characters are either a) somewhat gender nonconforming, b) canny enough to weaponize binary gender expectations, or c) both. Sui Zhou's entire third-act storyline is about how expectations of masculinity exacerbate PTSD in veterans. Three different AFAB characters either dress or live as men. The part where one of the male characters goes undercover in drag is played for laughs, but the joke isn't 'ha ha, a boy in a dress,' it's 'ha ha, this particular boy in a particular dress, and also he's terrible at it.'

And that's even before we get to the eunuchs.

There are several professionally dickless, permanently unmanned characters running around. One-third of the OT3 canonically had his external genitalia nonconsensually removed when he was five years old, and because of this, he has been given unimaginable authority. He's basically the second most powerful man in the entire empire, and he only gets that way by being unquestionably, ostentatiously, and genuinely submissive to the first most powerful man.

I have seen other Chinese media where eunuchs are treated like sinister clowns, good only to be the bad guys and the butts of jokes. Sleuth's main eunuchs are real and complex characters, and because of this, the show gets to explore what it is to live in this weird third-gender category of incredible power and powerlessness.

Now, don't go into this expecting woke gender treatises. Wang Zhi's never going to sit down and go, "You know, my friend and fellow eunuch Ding Rong, because of my lack of a penis, I understand my relationship to masculinity differently than other men do." But the show understands that even if he doesn't say it, it's true. And that makes a lot of the characters and their relationships just so much more interesting.

2. Uncle Jackie Money

Sleuth was the was the fourth c-drama I dove into, following the Untamed, Word of Honor, and Guardian -- or, Some Money BL, Less Money BL, and No Money BL. So imagine my absolute wall-eyed shock to find this was All The Money BL, courtesy of its executive producer, Jackie Chan (seen here with some of his handsome boys):

Sleuth looks good. The costumes are amazing. The sets are stunning. The cinematography is beautiful. Everything is so detailed, and while I can't speak to the absolute historical accuracy of all those details (see point 3), they're still gorgeous. In fact, you know what? I'm going to shut up and show you some of the promotional images.

(For actual screenshots, I'm just going to point you at @rongzhi's tsomd photoset tag, as they have done a tremendous service to the fan community -- though do beware of spoilers.)

Uncle Jackie's influence doesn't end with the money, though. Even though things get a bit goofy and wirework-y near the end, most of the drama's fights are shows of real martial arts skill. You can see his fingerprints on a lot of the choreography -- I'm thinking particularly of the time Tang Fan tries (and fails!) to stab Sui Zhou three times, which is pure Jackie Chan high-speed dexterity.

Add this one to the category of shows your Average American Television Enjoyer Who Can Handle Subtitles would like. In fact, I have shown the first episode to my normie father-in-law, who was impressed. Show it to your dad! See if he picks up on the gay!

3. I am from ... HISTORY!

The Chinese title translates to "The 14th Year of Chenghua," which works out to the year 1478. There are some clear anachronisms, but they tend to be played for comedy, so it's hard to hold that against them. On the whole, though, the show is trying real hard to evoke a very specific moment, and I feel it does so beautifully.

This does, however, mean that several of the characters are real people. I don't even have a good sense of how many of them are based on historical figures, that's how many. Hilariously, Wang Zhi's tag on AO3 used to read "Wang Zhi (?-1487 CE)."

Moreover, these are characters I've seen pop up in other media, played very differently! In particular, Noble Consort (up there in blue) tends to be written as an uncomplicated villain elsewhere, whereas Sleuth gives her a chance to add some goodness to her badness, until, damn, you can't but root for the bitch. (It also downplays the cradle-robbing, which, honestly, is for the best.)

You may have guessed from the eunuch section earlier, but it bears repeating: Wang Zhi is straight-up the best character in the show. He's smart as hell, and he has to be, because the second he's stupid, he's dead. I actually consider it helpful to know ahead of time that he's never going to do a heel turn -- I feel like on my first watchthrough, I was holding my breath for the first two-thirds of the show, waiting for his sudden but inevitable betrayal. It does not come. Wang Zhi is one of the heroes.

He's also, like, evil. He orders people flogged, tortured, and executed. The very first thing you see him doing is sinister as hell. And the show clearly doesn't think this is good, but it also doesn't judge him for it. He's a traumatized seventeen-year-old who has not had a normal moment of his entire life. He's working thanklessly for a boss who could kill him on a whim -- and he's doing it because he literally, physically was made for his job. He's mildly freaking out because he has no emotional grounding to help him understand that these weirdos want to be his friends.

Was the real Wang Zhi like this? That's beside the point. The point is, you get to see how someone in that position could wind up as the war-crimes-committing platonic ideal of a little meow meow.

4. oh my god the food

Warning: This show will make you hungry.

Again, beware of spoilers, but @peppersandcreamsicle and @qinzai have put together an entire cook-along Google Doc so you don't just have to drool -- you can do something about it! Or you can just read it and learn about Chinese cuisine, which is a little more my speed.

But it's not just about how good the food looks. Food is a vital emotional part of the series. People bond over it. They make and share it as a sign of love and care. It indicates status, ethnicity, interest, personality. The show's message about the healing power of cooking for the people you love will bring you to tears.

And yes, Sui Zhou is the main one doing the cooking, so get ready to drool over both the dishes and the handsome man preparing them.

Oh, and as though that weren't enough, Fu Meng Po can actually cook in real life. He's so dreamy. Absolute unreal handsome man with a devastatingly sexy voice. (I know my opinion might be different if I could hear his Taiwanese accent, but I can't so it's not!)

5. An Unsunk Ship

So like I said, my intros to c-drama couples had been WangXian, WenZhou, and WeiLan. That meant I'd basically come to terms with the idea that you can't have a main couple in a BL-but-not-really drama without splitting them up at least a little in the end, for no-homo plausible deniability reasons.

Tang Fan and Sui Zhou are still definitvely, unequivocally together when the story ends, as the iconic pentultimate scene of the series confirms with beauty and simplicity. I refuse to give any more details than that, but that ship's afloat.

(These shirtless pictures aren't from the end, but I wanted to include them, and I didn't have a better place to do it. ...Also, you know, ships and water? Yeah?)

And I think their winding up together reflects Sleuth's entire attitude. Tang Fan is made of sunshine, and the series loves him for it. There is tragedy aplenty in this show, but there's no misery. It is ultimately a hopeful show that believes in the power of second chances, if you're willing to take them. Time and again, the moral of the story is that you are only ever as good as the people who have your back -- but you have to be willing to let them have your back. Let people help you. Let people cook for you. Let people give you a reason to keep living. And then keep living.

Also, Sui Zhou gets two good kabedons off on that little twink, which means they're legally married now. I don't make the rules.

Bonus: Banger opening theme

youtube

This is one you will watch all 48 times.

Bonus #2: The Halo Video

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This is the video that made me go, huh, these Sleuth boys seem like other boys I've enjoyed! Perhaps I shall enjoy them as well! And then I did. So if that might be convincing to you too, well, have at it. Even if it isn't, it's a fascinating three-minute study of shared those-boys-are-in-love visual language across these shows.

Fair warning that it contains shots from right up to the end, so if you'd rather go in completely blank, give this one a pass until later. (Excuse me while I now go watch it for the 10000th time.)

Have I convinced you to watch it yet?

It originally ran on iQiyi, though Viki's got it as well, and Viki's is free if you're willing to put up with some ads about it.

...I just noticed iQiyi's description of the series reads, "When the two handsome leading actors Darren Wang and Fu Meng-Po work together, what will happen? A lovely prefectural judge and an arrogant embroiered [sic] uniform guard join hands to crack unusual cases! Are you going to choose a new idol?" And you know what? Yes. The details are a little off, but that is the correct spirit. Thank you, thirsty blurb.

#sleuth of the ming dynasty #the sleuth of ming dynasty #tsomd #成化十四年 #sloof #i made this #rec post

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female-buckets · 3 months

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Did you guys know Ann Wauters was one of the first out players in the WNBA? She's been with her wife Lot for over 20 years. She was a great player in the WNBA. But she didn't get much media attention.

Ann was the primary offensive option on many of her pro teams. But WNBA media referred to her as if she were just a minor role player. The WNBA did this because they wanted to send a message to the rest of the players. They wanted players to know that even an unproblematic and talented lesbian would lose career opportunities by being out.

A good example of WNBA media's strange coverage of Ann happened in 2010. Ann got pregnant and took the 2010 WNBA season off. This made Ann the WNBA's first pregnant lesbian. Pregnancies are the kind of human interest story that the WNBA loves promoting. The WNBA has always been all about the mommy baller image. But in 2010, the first time a lesbian player got pregnant, WNBA media completely ignored the pregnancy. A lot of media outlets tried to avoid giving any explanation for Ann's absence. And if they did manage to say she was pregnant, they wouldn't mention that Ann was starting a family with a woman. And they certainly wouldn't mention that Ann's wife was also pregnant at the same time. A double pregnancy story is twice as interesting, but WNBA media wouldn't touch the story at all. Luckily, European media thought it was a fun story. So superfans who followed overseas basketball got to hear about it. But casual WNBA fans had no idea.

Ann has been completely out as a lesbian since 2000. She's been talking about her wife openly the entire time. And for most of Ann's professional career, the WNBA wouldn't promote her.

Ann is the reason the Belgium Cats are now one of the best national basketball programs in the world. She pushed and pushed her tiny country for 20 years. And so they started funding women's basketball. And now the Cats are the best show in Europe.

Ann is a friend and inspiration to so many of the WNBA veterans. So I want to share Ann's valentine's post to Lot.

#wnba #ann wauters #la sparks #san antonio silver stars #belgium cats

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just-late-roman-republic-things · 8 months

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This post now has an expanded, better researched version! Check it out!

~~~

Things I watch out for when considering if a Roman history blog/community/media might have fascist leanings:

"Ironic" jokes that demean groups of people. These are often a cover for normalizing real prejudice against those groups.

Various dogwhistles and hate symbols. Also, check out the early warning signs of fascism.

Glorification of the military or the empire's size. It's one thing to be interested in a subject, but fascists tend to ignore the many problems of Rome's military and government, like corruption, mistreatment of veterans, abuse toward non-Roman people, and the occasional genocide.

Justifying historical oppression or abuse. This is different from merely explaining or trying to understand something. In case someone simply worded something poorly, I look at their additional posts or ask for clarification. If there's a pattern of downplaying/excusing oppression, that's a bad sign.

Power fantasies. Does a person (or community) seem to identify with the conquerors and overlords, because of their power? A person making jokes about Cicero's shitty poetry, or Augustus wearing platform shoes, is probably here for a different reason than someone talking about "putting the barbarians in their place."

Ignoring women's experiences, queer history, slaves and working-class experiences, and cultural diversity. At best this could just be a newbie who hasn't gotten around to those topics yet, which is fine. Learning takes time. But if a community, historian, or professionally published work makes Rome look like it's composed solely of rich white cishet guys...there is a problem.

Flattening history into Romans vs. outsiders. "Us vs. them" themes, also seen as "civilization vs. barbarians," or "virtue vs. moral decline/degeneracy," is endemic to bigoted worldviews. Not only is it demeaning toward other cultures, it also erases how multicultural and changeable Roman identity was over time.

Also, any modern person who seriously attributes Rome's fall to "moral decline" or "degeneracy" is either deeply ignorant or using a dogwhistle for homophobia, antisemitism and racism. Also, using "barbarian" or "savage" unironically.

Be extra alert for antisemitism. Shit like justifying Hadrian's actions, bringing up Jews when discussing Roman debt problems, or idolizing Vespasian or Titus. The Romans did a lot of bad shit in Judaea, and sometimes those stories attract antisemites today.

Use of the past to justify present-day harm or anger. Fascists and racists tend to get attached to "tradition" or "the good old ways" - or what they think is tradition - believing that this makes their bigotry more "normal" instead of "bizarre, hateful and reactionary." But just because something was common in the ancient world doesn't mean it's a good idea today.

There's a lot of anger and bitterness in fascist communities in general, in fact. Many people fall into the "alt-right pipeline" because their personal lives are deeply troubled, and those places give them someone to blame and feel superior to. If hanging out in a community seems to be making you angrier, more suspicious, or looking down on certain kinds of people, think carefully about whether this is a good community to be in.

And finally...fascists aren't all that interested in history. They care about their myth of good guys vs. evil outsiders, and they warp history to fit into that narrative. They might like the aesthetics, or symbols, or idolize a few famous dudes or battles. But rarely do they know, or care, about how Roman society worked, or how it changed over time, or anything less "glorious." Rarely do they actually want to learn or put in effort. My favorite example of "fascist laziness" is Mussolini's terrible film about Scipio Africanus, in which you can see telephone wires and the extras wearing wristwatches.

Feel free to add to this list. I am not an expert at spotting this stuff, and I probably missed some things. But I figured this might be a good starting point for others, too. Don't use this list to make "callouts" or harass people - it's usually more effective to block, avoid, and report extremists than to give them more visibility.

Conversely, a great way to protect yourself from falling into the alt-right pipeline is to learn more about how diverse the Roman world was! Check out studies of ancient women, disabilities, queer people, and decolonizing the classics! Not only will they broaden your horizons, they're also fascinating in their own right.

#jlrrt speaks #ancient rome #roman history #racism #the alt-right pipeline #fascism #bigotry #things to whack racists with #jlrrt essays

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mariacallous · 8 months

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Content warning: This story includes references to death by suicide.

Evan Hansen was born to play football. A strong, rambunctious kid, he started playing sports year-round as early as he could. “He was very selfless, always willing to sacrifice himself for the betterment of the team,” says his father, Chuck Hansen. As a fearless linebacker at Wabash College in Indiana, the young player made 209 tackles in his first three seasons, and was hit far more than that during games and practices. Two days after winning the second game of his senior year, Evan died by suicide.

Searching for an explanation, Chuck Hansen pored through his son’s internet search history. One query popped out: “CTE.”

CTE stands for chronic traumatic encephalopathy, a neurodegenerative brain disease that causes symptoms like memory loss, depression, and emotional dysregulation. Since 2005, it has been linked to head trauma and to contact sports like football, where brains can get knocked around during tackles and collisions. In 2016, the National Football League acknowledged that the sport was linked to CTE after many retired players were diagnosed posthumously by researchers at the Boston University CTE Center.

Given the NFL-centered media coverage throughout the mid-aughts, “people have this impression that CTE is a disease of former NFL players,” says Julie Stamm, a clinical assistant professor of kinesiology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. “But it’s not just a disease for professional athletes.”

Yet until recently, few studies focused on athletes like Evan, who never played professionally and died before developing age-related brain changes. (In older players, it can be challenging to separate signs of CTE from other kinds of neurodegeneration.) The Hansen family knew that Evan had only been diagnosed with one concussion in his 14 years of football—none since starting college. And although they knew that he’d had trouble doing schoolwork and experienced a bout of depression his junior year, his mental health seemed to have stabilized with therapy and medication.

While Evan’s search history suggests he suspected that these issues were signs of CTE, the disease can’t be diagnosed without examining the brain posthumously. So, like many other families seeking answers for unexplained changes in their loved ones’ behavior, the Hansens donated Evan’s brain to the Understanding Neurologic Injury and Traumatic Encephalopathy (UNITE) Brain Bank, run by the Boston University CTE Center.

Ann McKee, the center’s director, chose 152 of them to study. All were contact sports athletes who died under the age of 30, many by suicide or unintentional drug overdose. And as McKee’s team reported in August in JAMA Neurology, 41 percent of them already had CTE. One of them was Evan. Like him, of those diagnosed, most had only played sports at a high school or college level.

This study reveals that young, amateur athletes aren’t spared from the brain damage that comes with contact sports, even if they quit before going pro. And studying early-stage CTE in young, otherwise healthy brains, McKee says, “may give us clues as to how the disease is triggered.” To her, the takeaway is clear: “We need to reduce the number and the strength of head impacts in contact sports. If we don’t, we’re going to face consequences like this.”

McKee, who is also the director of neuropathology for Veterans Affairs Boston, began studying the brains of former NFL players 15 years ago. She couldn’t believe what she saw: big lesions in the crevices of the brain, dotted with abnormal protein clusters. A huge Packers fan, McKee has watched a lot of football games. But, she recalls, until then, “it never occurred to me that they were damaging their brains, because you don’t see it on the field. They’ve got the helmets. They look invincible.”

Researchers now know more about what is happening to the brain beneath the helmet. The jostling of the brain tugs at neural tissue, placing cells and blood vessels under stress. Tau proteins, which stabilize the scaffolding that gives neurons their structure, fall off when a cell is stressed. These fallen proteins pile up inside the cell, “a sort of toxic clump,” as McKee describes it. Eventually, the pileup overwhelms and kills the cell, leaving neurofibrillary tangles, which appear as ominous dark smears under a microscope. These tangles, which also appear in Alzheimer’s disease, make it harder for neurons to communicate with each other, causing memory problems.

Meanwhile, injured blood vessels compromise the sacred blood-brain barrier that normally protects sensitive neural tissue from irritating molecules flowing through the rest of the body. The resulting irritation causes inflammation, which induces more tau clumping, initiating a downward spiral of neurodegeneration.

To screen the donated young athletes’ brains for CTE, the researchers looked for tau, as well as signs of larger-scale problems like inflammation, hardening or deterioration of blood vessels, and changes to white matter, which contains the connections between neurons. They also interviewed the donors’ loved ones to learn more about their behavior and cognitive symptoms while they were alive. All of them had experienced issues like memory loss, depression, and impulsive behavior.

Of the 152 brains examined, 63 were posthumously diagnosed with CTE. The vast majority were still in early stages of neurodegeneration, but three of them—one belonging to a former NFL player, one to a college football player, and one to a professional rugby player—had reached the third of CTE’s four stages. Notably, another brain with CTE belonged to a 28-year-old women’s collegiate soccer player—the first case of its kind.

The youth of these players also allowed the research team to rule out aging as the cause of the damage. Aging, as well as high blood pressure, cardiac disease, and other neurodegenerative problems, can all damage brain tissue. But in the sample used for the new study, all of the athletes died between the ages of 13 and 29. “These are pristine, beautiful brains,” McKee says.

The fact that so many of the donors’ families had noticed mood and memory changes—regardless of whether their child was ultimately diagnosed with CTE—might be an artifact of the study’s sample pool. Families were simply more likely to donate to the brain bank if they had noticed unusual behavior in their child. But McKee says this also suggests that some of the symptoms experienced by these young athletes are not always caused by CTE, but may still reflect the aftermath of head trauma. Chris Nowinski, a study coauthor and CEO of the nonprofit Concussion Legacy Foundation, remembers struggling with chronic symptoms after the concussion that ended his pro wrestling career in his twenties. In cases like his, concussion-related problems like sleep impairments, or the difficulties of coming to terms with life as an injured or retired athlete, are likely the root cause of the mental health issues—not necessarily tau pathology.

The new study’s results build upon a mountain of evidence connecting contact sports to CTE. One 2017 study of 202 deceased football players found that 87 percent had CTE, including 110 of the 111 brains belonging to retired NFL players. Other studies revealed that CTE is more prevalent in athletes than non-athletes, and is specifically tied to experience playing contact sports, not one-off traumatic brain injuries. Ongoing studies are developing ways to diagnose CTE while people are alive, in the hopes of finding ways to intervene while the disease is still in its earliest stages.

A common misconception is that a one-time impact can lead to neurodegeneration. The real problem is getting hit in the head over and over, for years and years. “A tennis player who had five concussions is not going to get CTE,” says Nowinski. “There’s something about getting hundreds or thousands of head impacts a year. That’s what triggers it, whether you have concussion symptoms or not.”

Like many kids in the United States, Evan Hansen started playing tackle football in third grade. “He was in his 14th year of football, a senior in college, when he died,” says his dad. The number of years he played, and the age he was when he started facing regular blows to the head, likely contributed to developing CTE, according to McKee’s findings. When he signed his son up for football, Hansen recalls, “It was just pure ignorance. I didn’t know what I didn’t know.”

While his son’s diagnosis wasn’t made until after his death, Chuck Hansen suspects that Evan’s fear of the disorder, and what it meant for his future, weighed on him heavily. “I believe that he thought he had CTE, and had never talked about it,” Hansen says. “Maybe he thought it was a terminal thing that would only get worse, and that there was no hope.”

While there is no medical treatment for CTE yet, McKee and Nowinski recommend that young athletes focus on seeking treatment for individual mental health symptoms, like insomnia or depression. The Concussion Legacy Foundation runs a HelpLine for those who are struggling with post-concussion symptoms, or who are worried about CTE. The Hansen family also started a foundation to promote mental health awareness and CTE research, and to fund scholarships for medical students.

But CTE is preventable. Small changes to practice drills and gameplay could make a huge difference for young athletes, says Nowinski. The playbook for prevention is simple: Reduce the number of hits to the head, and reduce the strength of those hits. Most happen during practice, so by reducing the number of drills involving head impacts and choosing ones that are less likely to cause high-magnitude blows, coaches can spare their players unnecessary danger. “You can’t get rid of CTE in tackling sports,” adds Nowinski, “but you can get rid of most cases of CTE.”

Reducing the length of each game and the number of games per season can minimize the likelihood of head injuries, and banning brain-jostling events, like fighting in hockey or heading in soccer, can make games safer, he continues. Perhaps most importantly, youth sports leagues can raise the age at which kids are first exposed to preventable head impacts. “With tackle football before 14, the risks are not worth the benefits,” Nowinski says. “You don’t become a better football player from playing young.” In one case study reported by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, transitioning from tackle to flag football would reduce a young athlete’s median number of head impacts per season from 378 to eight.

But, Nowinski points out, there is no central governing body in charge of youth sports leagues, leaving it largely up to individual coaches to make changes to their practice drills and recruitment strategies. “The opportunity is right in front of our faces,” says Nowinski. “I remember being told how much football makes you a leader. But right now, on this issue, there’s a black hole of leadership.”

McKee doesn’t think that parents should take their kids out of sports—far from it. “We just need to change the rules and our thinking about these games, so that CTE isn’t a consequence of playing contact sports,” McKee says.

And for young athletes concerned about CTE, she urges them to seek help for mental health symptoms, build personal support systems, and keep moving forward with their lives. “Individuals like Evan need to be seen, because in all likelihood, we can treat their symptoms and help them feel less hopeless,” she says. “It’s not a time to despair. It’s a time to come in, be evaluated, and be treated.”

If you or someone you know needs help, call 1-800-273-8255 for free, 24-hour support from the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You can also text HOME to 741-741 for the Crisis Text Line. Outside the US, visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention for crisis centers around the world.

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realtimefanduboutofcontext · 4 months

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The journalists of Palestine

You may have heard a couple of names floating around social media - and I do mean ONLY social media - who have been vital to getting the facts about the genocide in Palestine right now. Let me highlight them for you.

Artwork by Ram Reyes @oversettext

Bisan Owda (she/her)

Bisan is the one you're probably familiar with. She's a young filmmaker who has worked with the UN on gender equality and climate change, and most recently this genocide. Her focus is social media. She called the strike, and is why we're all here.

Twitter - Instagram - TikTok

Motaz Azaiza (he/him)

Motaz is a photographer best known for capturing life in the Gaza Strip. He works for the UNRWA. His photo titled "Seeing Her Through My Camera" (depicting a girl being picked up from rubble) was named one of TIME's top 10 photos of 2023.

Twitter - Instagram

Plestia Alaqad (she/her)

Plestia is a citizen journalist and travel blogger, formerly an HR professional. She has been posting video diaries from Gaza - and even from Egypt as she had to flee in November. Her work has been a reminder of how beautiful Gaza can be.

Twitter - Instagram - TikTok

Wael Al-Dahdouh (he/him)

Wael is a journalist for Al Jazeera and the chief of its bureau in Gaza City since 2004. He has worked for the Palestinian newspaper Al-Quds, and is a journalism veteran. Most of his family was sadly killed by Israeli strikes.

Twitter - Facebook - Instagram

As I've said before, mainstream media outlets have been avoiding the reporting of Palestinian journalists, or filtered their own biases through the Israeli army. It's important to listen to, and uplift voices from Gaza, no matter how uncomfortable it may get. Let them be heard.

#not dubposting #global strike for palestine #global strike #free palestine #free gaza #from the river to the sea palestine will be free #from the river to the sea #journalism

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leveloneandup · 9 months

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Tobin Heath is stepping into the spotlight at long last to redefine a sports media landscape where 'I never felt like I fit in'

In her 15 years as one of the most electric stars on the US Women's National Team, Tobin Heath always seemed content to fly under the radar.

The crafty winger was never one to volunteer to speak during press conferences or regularly post a ton on social media, and insights into her personal life were few and far between. Beyond her exceptionally expressive style of play on the pitch, Heath shared very little of herself with the public.

That was by design.

"I'm a stubborn and passionate person, and I wanted to be known as a footballer full stop," Heath told Insider. "I believed that that's where I wouldn't be distorted and that's where I could get the most amount of respect."

"I did a lot of talking with my football for a long, long time," she added. "I'm really proud of that."

But now, in the twilight of her professional soccer career, she's ready to speak up outside of the white lines. Heath wants to help "reimagine the way women are seen and experienced in sports," making a "very narrow and very specific" sports media landscape where she "never felt like I fit in" more accessible to women who love sports.

So she and fellow USWNT veteran Christen Press launched "The RE—CAP Show," an extension of their RE—INC lifestyle brand, to offer their own authentic analysis of the 2023 World Cup and the world of women's sports at large.

~~~

[S]he believes "the Tobin who first started on the US Women's National Team would be proud" of her efforts "to speak about other things than just football and to be shown in a different way."

#tobin heath #re cap show #article #interview

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literallyjustanerd · 11 months

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Should've Switched Majors (Clone Shenanigans)

Summary: A very unfortunate grad student at the University of Coruscant is just trying to finish her thesis for her Investigative Journalism degree. Unbeknownst to her, she's picked the galaxy's worst interview subjects.

Words: 1,492

Characters: Commander Cody, Captain Rex, Domino twins, Waxer, Commander Fox, Commander Bly

University of Coruscant School of Arts Student Number: 218249662 Student Name: Lila Un’qara Course: Masters of Media and Communication – Majoring in Investigative Journalism Final Thesis: Unsung Heroes: Silenced Voices From The Republic’s Front Lines

[Recording Start]

Lila: Okay. The time is now… 0935 standard hours. We’re here in Briefing Room B of the GAR headquarters on Coruscant level 5127, where I’ve been graciously allowed time to speak with some of the Republic’s most decorated soldiers. To start, I’m sitting down with CC-2224 of the 212th Battalion. Though if I’ve been informed correctly, I believe you go by Cody?

CC-2224: Commander is fine, thank you.

L: Oh. Uh, right. My apologies, Commander.

CC-2224: Don’t mention it.

L: So… Your records indicate you’ve been in active service since the beginning of the war.

CC-2224: That’s right. I was decanted from Kamino with the first batch of Clone Commanders.

L: I’m looking at a transcript of your prior operations. There are some major battles here – Christophsis, Ryloth, Saleucami… You’re a true veteran.

CC-2224: As much a veteran as any of us can be, I suppose.

L: And as a Marshal Commander with such a prolific record, you must be highly regarded among your peers and superiors?

CC-2224: My brothers trust me as their Commander.

L: And your GAR command? Generals and Admirals? The Jedi?

CC-2224: …What about them?

L: Do they afford you the same level of trust?

CC-2224: That’s… [pause] Yes, I am trusted. My decisions and conduct are respected as any Commander’s wound be.

[Audio file is silent for 6 seconds]

CC-2224: There are those for whom it takes more for us clones to prove our competence. I don’t allow that to impact my performance. My record speaks for itself.

L: Must get frustrating, though. The pressure to demonstrate your worth. Probably leaves you without much time to let your guard down.

CC-2224: It’s our job. We do it with pride.

L: Surely you can’t keep that up all the time, though? It’s only human to want to have a little fun.

CC-2224: [clearing throat] I maintain a respectable bearing at all times, as do my men. We were trained from birth to uphold the highest standards of professional conduct and I take pride in the reputation of the 212th Battalion as highly proficient, honourable, and—”

[Sound on audio file is briefing room door opening]

CT-2534 (“Waxer”): Hey, Cody…? Remember that thing you said not to do? Uhm, Boil’s in medbay and Fox says you gotta go bail Wooley out before—oh. Uh, hello.

CC-2224: [heavy sigh]

CT-2534 (“Waxer”): Is… this being recorded?

[Recording stop] [Recording start]

L: Thank you for moving our appointment up, Troopers. The Commander had to leave on some… unexpected business.

ARC-5555: Ha! Guess Waxer wasn’t bluffing after all.

ARC-1409: You owe me five credits.

L: May I refer to you as ARC Troopers, or do you prefer—

ARC-5555: Fives, please.

ARC-1409: Echo.

L: Great. So, the two of you serve under General Skywalker?

ARC-5555: Didn’t start off that way, but now we do, yeah.

ARC-1409: Captain Rex picked us personally to join the 501st as ARC troopers. We joined for him. But serving under General Skywalker is an honour, too.

L: Do you feel he respects your input as clones?

ARC-5555: You kidding? He’d be dead ten times over without us, and he knows it!

ARC-1409: Some of General Skywalker’s strategies are… hit or miss. But we owe him our lives as much as he owes us his.

ARC-5555: Nah. It’s 23-19 in our favour. I’ve counted.

ARC-1409: 23? You’re counting the Naboo thing?

ARC-5555: Far as I’m concerned, that’s the closest the General’s come to karking it.

L: Can you elaborate? What happened on Naboo?

[ARC-5555 begins to speak but is silenced by ARC-1409. Sound on audio file is ARC-1409 hitting ARC-5555 on the back of the head]

ARC-1409: Sorry. Sworn to secrecy. ARC Trooper’s honour.

L: Seems like you’re pretty close with your General. Can you tell me—

ARC-5555: So you’re a student, right? Coruscant University? What’s it like?

L: What’s… Uhm, it’s an excellent school. Good facilities, knowledgeable professors, the courses are highly-regarded. Now, if we could get back to—

ARC-1409: So –sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt, I just– you can study anything you want? You just get to pick?

L: …Yes, that’s how it works.

ARC-1409: What if you don’t like what you pick?

L: You can change your course. Back on topic, we were discussing—

ARC-5555: You can change your course? You’re allowed to do that? Whenever you want?

L: Yup.

ARC-1409: Did you ever do that?

L: I’m starting to wish I had.

ARC-5555: Wish we could’ve done that. I’d have been a Naval Officer. Way better uniform.

ARC-1409: [chuckling] The navs would hate you! They’d have you decomm’ed on the first day for unruly behaviour.

ARC-5555: The navs wish they had the honour of my unruly behaviour.

L: Can we get back on topic. Please?

ARC-1409: What was the topic, again?

L: [heavy sigh]

ARC-5555: Hey… the 501st is on shore leave for the next two days. What are you doing tonight?

L: …Uh.

ARC-1409: We could…. continue the interview over a couple drinks at 79’s?

L: I… hm.

[Recording stop] [Recording start]

L: As a member of the Coruscant Guard, you’ve seen more than most other clones of the galaxy’s capital and its senate. Commander Fox, has this given you any opinions you feel are different to other clones about the war?

CC-1010: No.

L: Nothing? You don’t think being able to witness the senate debates has given you any sort of insight into the politics at play here?

CC-1010: Nope.

[Sound on audio file is CC-1010 sipping from a mug of caf for approximately 9 seconds]

L: Uhm. Well. There aren’t many people, clone or otherwise, who get such a close audience with Chancellor Palpatine. Are you and the other Coruscant Guard troopers close with him?

CC-1010: Hm. No.

L: …Thank you for your time.

[Recording stop] [Recording start]

L: Captain Rex. I appreciate your willingness to, uh, actually speak to me. Have you given much thought to what might happen once the war is over?

CT-7567: Of course. All of us have. But you tend to stop thinking about that pretty early on in your service.

L: Oh? Why is that, do you think?

CT-7567: There’s just not much of a point to it, really. We’ve got too much on our mind every day trying to keep our heads up and keep ourselves and our brothers alive. The end of the war, it’s just not really a factor for us.

L: Right. You’ve been fighting for years now. That must take a toll.

CT-7567: I suppose, but in a sense, it’s just our way of life. We’ve never known anything besides war. How can we imagine a life after it? To a clone, the galaxy has always been, and will always be, at war. I don’t think I would know any other way to navigate the world.

L: That’s… actually very insightful.

CT-7567: You sound surprised?

L: Never mind. Does—does it frighten you, then? Not knowing what might come after?

CT-7567: Not at all. The future might be an unknown, but whatever happens, I know—

[Sound on audio file is the briefing room door opening]

CC-2224: Your boys are at it again.

CT-7567: [groan] Which ones?

CC-2224: All of them. They’re in the quad, Wooley said something about a stolen speeder.

CT-7567: So it’s your boys, then. Your boys who just got bailed out of Corrie holding this morning?

[Sound on audio file is CT-7567 standing]

L: Wait, no, we were just getting somewhere, don’t—

CC-2224: My men stepped in to control the situation.

CT-7567: Face it, your troops kriff around and blame mine when the osik hits the filtration system.

[Sound on audio file is CT-7567 and CC-2224 bumping the microphone as they move toward the door]

L: Captain? Commander? Please, if we could at least finish what we—

CC-2224: All I’m saying is, this wouldn’t be the first time the 212th have had to step in to clean up the 501st’s mess.

CT-7567: Mhmm. Is that what happened on Naboo, too?

CC-2224: That’s different and you know it.

[Sound on audio file is briefing room door closing. Following sound is approximately fifteen seconds of Lila groaning increasingly loudly]

[Recording stop] [Recording start]

L: [long sigh, followed by approximately 7 seconds of silence] It is currently… 1743 hours. I’m still in Briefing Room B, I’ve deleted more useless material than I’ve kept, and I am questioning… every choice I’ve made in my academic career. So. Commander Bly. Can you tell me a little about your relationship with your Jedi General?

CC-5052: No comment.

L: Oh, kark this.

[sound on audio file is Lila removing her lapel mic]

L: …Do you know how to get to 79’s from here?

[Recording stop]

#i just think people would be interested in clone welfare during the clone wars #but also i think the clones would be hell to talk to about it #clone shenanigans #501st shenanigans #212th shenanigans #sw tcw #star wars: the clone wars #sw tcw fanfic #commander cody #arc trooper fives #arc trooper echo #commander fox #captain rex #commander bly #clone trooper boil #drabble #clone headcanons #domino twins

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thebroccolination · 3 months

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[ GawinKrist ] Ed Sheeran's "Photograph" Cover

Hi! I felt like waxing poetic about Gawin and Krist for a bit because I love them and I'm proud of them. <3

Even though GawinKrist aren't working together now, I definitely think they will again someday. For sure on music. They've both said they want to do a concert together one day, and they were starting to amass quite a loyal following while BMF was airing, so they'll always have an enthusiastic audience.

Just. Man. Listen to them harmonize. See how much they enjoy singing together. It's lovely to me that they'll always have music to connect them professionally, even apart from their offscreen friendship. :')

Early on in promotion for Be My Favorite, Krist explained to fans that he and Gawin had discussed how to market the series in a way that would be comfortable for both of them, especially for Gawin. GMMTV's current marketing leans very, very hard on their actors posting relentlessly to social media to the point that a lot of them are arguably more influencer than actor, and while it's been enormously effective and lucrative for GMMTV, it doesn't leave much leeway for talents like Gawin who aren't especially outgoing or loud online.

No hearing person can deny Gawin's gift for singing. He has a gorgeous voice, and he puts so much emotion into what he sings, there's a reason why a lot of people see him as a singer first. Bewilderingly, though, GMMTV just doesn't seem to know what to do with him. And some of that is on Gawin, sure. He said at his birthday event in August that he knew he'd been holding back in the past and that he wanted people to know him more from then on, but this industry is rough, and I think he's still figuring out how to navigate everything in a way that isn't overwhelming to him.

When I spoke to Gawin at the BMF finale event back in August, he exuded this absolute wave of kindness, sincerity, and humility. Like. He was just so incredibly sweet while I told him how proud I was of him and how well he did in the series. And when he said to me, "I'm just grateful you all came," I thought, He has no idea how loved he is. (Probably because DBK and Not Me became popular during lockdown and they weren't able to hold the Polca/PoddGawin event until two years later, and he's never had a permanent partner, so he's been in an odd sort of limbo all this time.)

Pisaeng was Gawin's first starring role, and his first time marketing a series as a lead. You can tell from all the promotional materials that Krist wanted this to go smoothly for him. At that same finale event, Krist broke down crying because he'd been carrying the stress of thinking that the torment he'd been through would affect Gawin's experience, too. But on the contrary, I think Krist was the best thing that's ever happened to Gawin's career.

I've heard stories from people behind the scenes that Krist was always extremely attentive to Gawin. He explained how to do little things that were intuitive to him as a veteran in the industry, and he made sure Gawin understood. He talked him through rough spots during and after filming. In interviews, he led discussions and tried to keep things on point. And whenever Gawin automatically shrank back from the spotlight, Krist gently steered him back to it. At their MUSICON performance in July (THE FIRST TIME GAWIN EVER PERFORMED LIVE, GMMTV MAY WE SPEAK PRIVATELY), Krist literally pulled Gawin to the front of the stage because he noticed Gawin hiding in the back. And at those concerts, Krist was the most senior there, so he was MC, performer, and Leader of the Nongs, but he never let his self-assigned duties as Gawin's partner falter. Over and over, event after event, Gawin looked happier and happier, and Krist looked prouder and prouder of him.

I think Gawin and Krist worked so well together because Krist saw the unappreciated jewel Gawin is and met him exactly where he was to bring him into the spotlight. He coaxed Gawin into shining brighter. Built his confidence until he could stand in the spotlight like he deserved to be there. The difference between that first MUSICON performance and his perfomance at Krist's solo concert is staggering.

And at Krist's solo concert, before their final appearance together as GawinKrist, Krist told the audience how proud he was. How talented Gawin is, and how he deserves a chance to be extraordinary. There's a reason why they call each other their safe zone, and I honestly believe no one wants to see Gawin thrive in this industry and behind the scenes more than Krist. He called him his favorite nong, and Krist is famously indulgent and lovely with all his nongs.

When Gawin was announced to replace Mike in Be My Favorite, I was over the moon. I loved him in DBK and Not Me and even his bit role in Enchanté. And I knew he and Krist would get along. Gawin's temperament is similar enough to Singto's, and Krist just generally gets along with everyone he works with, and they have that deep love of music in common.

Even though they had to put up with a lot (hateful people in general, fans who refused to watch Krist in a series with anyone but Singto, fans who refused to watch Gawin in a series with anyone but Podd or First, fans who tormented Krist, fans who tormented Gawin, expectations, pressure, stress, etc.), they handled all of it with incredible grace, and they made my favorite series on top of it. <3

And when it was time to end their partnership, they did that gracefully, too.

It's possible that Krist knew for a long time that Singto was considering coming back to GMMTV. I think Gawin knew, too, since he and Singto hang out. And of course GMMTV probably knew. It would explain why the company never put much energy into promoting the series or GawinKrist as a partnership.

But the fact that a member of the Trinity had a separate semi-official partner for any amount of time is bananas if you think about it. Hasn't happened to Singto, Off, Gun, Tay, or Newwiee. But because Singto turned down Be My Favorite (likely because he'd already informed GMMTV he was leaving) and took some time away, Gawin ended up with this incredible opportunity to star in a high quality series that was intended for KristSingto. That's so fucking cool! He's the only person to have ever partnered with a member of the Trinity! That's fucking wild??? We don't talk enough about how cool and wild that is. Good for Gawin!

And good for Singto!

I'm glad Singto took time outside GMMTV to explore opportunities he might not have gotten otherwise. I know he did it because he was thinking about studying abroad for years, and he kind of waffled around figuring out what to do once he was out, but man, sometimes you need to do that. I'm glad he had time with his dad. I'm glad he had a house built for himself and his dad. I'm glad he got to spend time with his friends (I mean, sort of, he's a weird cave-dwelling lion like Gawin, so apparently he doesn't actually go out much). Most importantly, Singto got to have privacy with Krist. And man, I think they needed it, but they also deserved it. The two of them have been in this industry for so long, and most of us have seen what happens to people when they monetize their friendship, relationship, family, etc. "KristSingto" is a brand, but Krist and Singto are close friends who have managed, against all odds, to find a way to preserve their bond and promote themselves as a brand without buckling under the strain.

I'm so glad the two of them had time to themselves. I think it saved them as people and preserved what's beautiful about their partnership.

GMMTV wouldn't let Krist work on BL with anyone but Singto until Singto literally left GMMTV, and Krist himself used to say he didn't want to work with anyone but Singto because he was afraid working with someone else would change their chemistry. I hope working with Gawin showed him that nothing could do that. He'll always, always have his chemistry with Singto. Maybe it'll evolve, maybe it'll mature, but it'll always be there. And if Singto hadn't left, Krist might never have gotten the opportunity to find that out. I think they'll be stronger now because of it.

Watching Be My Favorite was transcendental for me, and seeing GawinKrist work together was wonderful. They started as relative strangers who might've said hello to each other in the hallway at work, and now they're each other's safe zone. It seems fitting that they starred in a series about time travel and multiple timelines, because if Gawin hadn't been cast, if Krist had never worked with Gawin, think of all they could have missed out on. The friendship, the opportunities, the growth, the pride, and the joy.

And the music.

I sincerely, profoundly believe they'll work together again if they want to, and I'll be cheering them on if they do. <3

#gawinkrist #krist perawat #gawin caskey #oops this was going to be short #story of my life :D #i love them so much #i'm so proud of them

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andavs · 2 years

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Eddie’s PTSD

So I’ve been reading I Always Sit with My Back to the Wall, which is about PTSD in veterans specifically, and I’m pretty sure at least one of the 911 writers read it because it seems to be the instructions they built Eddie from. I didn’t start reading it for any reason relating to 911, but once it clicked, it was hard not to think about Eddie because it describes pretty much everything about him.

The book talks about two general groupings of symptoms that veterans with PTSD often fall into (generally speaking, obviously it’s not always either/or): “Locked and Loaded” and “Hunkered in the Bunker”.

“Locked and Loaded” (fight/flight) is how we usually see veterans dealing with war trauma represented in media. They’re always on guard and hypervigilant. They have an exaggerated startle response, they’re prepared for attack, they’re ready to fight, and it’s a lot more outwardly apparent that something is wrong. It’s actively protecting themselves and having an active, physical response to a situation their instincts perceive as a threat, whether that’s defense or retreat.

“Hunkered in the Bunker” (freeze) is more of an internal slow down, preserving energy to survive until the odds are better and it’s safe to move. It’s being emotionally numb and avoidant, pretending everything is fine, never complaining, and often staying in traumatic situations that are overwhelming and stressful because moving feels futile or more dangerous. It’s considered more passive, “hiding” to protect from both danger and attention. (Sidenote: medical professionals often develop a freeze response in order to treat their patients in dangerous situations.)

Male veterans are often portrayed as the former, but in 911, it’s Maddie whose symptoms tend to fall into that category, always ready for fight or flight.

She was hypervigilant. She slept with a baseball bat even with her over-the-top security system. She took down the wind chimes so they wouldn’t interfere with her listening for danger, and she eventually slept in her work uniform with her shoes on, bat in hand.

She got increasingly agitated until she snapped at Buck and left the room when he and Chimney bought her a Christmas tree and decorations, reminding her of previous Christmases with Doug.

She was jumpy and startled easily, like at the call center with Sue, and with Chimney in his apartment after she dropped a plate.

She was uncharacteristically aggressive, tracking down Tara and basically stalking her to try and save her, lying to get close to her to protect her from her husband.

She packed up and ran from Doug, she was going to run from LA until Buck talked her into staying, and then she did run in order to regroup after her suicide attempt.

Maddie has very active responses to feeling unsafe. She spent years hiding and trying to make herself as small as possible to minimize Doug’s abuse, hunkered down, but in the end it was actively running and fighting back that saved her. That’s the state she got locked into.

From what I’ve read, it’s more common for abuse survivors to develop a freeze response because they feel trapped and are often unable to leave for a variety of reasons. So I find it interesting that they gave Maddie the more active, physical responses, because Eddie the war veteran consistently falls into the latter category. Pretty much since he was first introduced, he’s been freezing—but only in his personal life.

When he’s on the job, he doesn’t hesitate. Warzones are his thing. It’s not uncommon for veterans, with and without PTSD, to seek out first responder jobs because it puts them in a similar environment to being deployed. It’s familiar. They’re with a team they trust, they’re making important decisions, they’re taking action, they’re performing under the type of pressure they’ve become accustomed to, and their instincts are an asset rather than something to fight and work around.

But in his private life, Eddie freezes. A lot.

He stayed where he felt “safe” It’s not uncommon for someone with PTSD to equate familiar with safe. It’s why many victims of abuse can end up stuck in a cycle of abusive relationships, or why traumatized veterans might reenlist rather than face the chaos of civilian life. It’s not actually safer, but they know what to expect and how to react so it feels safer. Staying in Texas and working three jobs until his parents wanted custody. Struggling as a single parent for months but not contacting Shannon until the school required it. Continuing to work as an active duty firefighter as his mental health was worsening, staying with Ana as he was having panic attacks—Eddie doesn’t really make moves until he has to. He often only moves when someone “has his back” or gives him permission, whether it’s in the form of approval, support, or a suggestion. He pretty much never makes a change for himself on his own because he wants to. He stays where it’s “safe” until he’s forced or given permission to move, no matter how miserable he is.

He had difficulty trusting and connecting in relationships Living with PTSD is constantly assessing and managing risks, and people and relationships are risks. For someone with PTSD, starting relationships can be easy when it’s casual, but as things get serious and require vulnerability, taking bigger risks, that can trigger an internal warning system. With both Shannon and Ana, Eddie was generally okay while things were casual, or when Christopher was the focus, but as they got more serious and required his own vulnerability, he got uncomfortable. Shannon thought they were reconciling after she’d been back and they’d been sleeping together for months, but he still couldn’t trust her. Even after she was reunited with Christopher, Eddie kept her at a distance from himself; she wanted to be more involved, even just with finances, and he told her not to worry about it. She wanted to define their relationship, whether or not they were actually back together, and he avoided it until she told him she might be pregnant, at which point he had to make up his mind (after talking to Bobby about it). And with Ana (after Bobby encouraged him to ask her out), he did the opposite and charged ahead, even when Ana offered to slow down. Every step forward in their relationship caused him more anxiety, but he kept denying it and stuck it out until Buck gave him permission to quit. He was hesitant to introduce her to Christopher as his girlfriend. He was fretting over throw pillows for the first time ever when he introduced her to Carla. He got defensive and nervous when the team pointed out that meeting her family was a serious step. He had panic attacks at the suggestion of marriage. Then during the breakup, when he couldn’t/didn’t have to force it anymore, he was completely locked down, arms crossed, back to the fridge, even as she tried to connect one last time.

He had a reduced range of emotions Many veterans come home and find they can’t feel much besides negative emotions like anger, irritability, and depression, which can leave them with an uncharacteristically short temper. Eddie told Frank back in season three that he wasn’t feeling positive emotions, and he definitely had a short fuse when he’s normally one of the more even keeled and unflappable members of the team. He punched a stranger in the parking lot, he yelled at Buck in the grocery store, he joined a fight club—none of that is normal Eddie. Then after the sniper, as more stress and traumas piled on, his emotions seemed to lock down even more, judging by his non-reaction to being held at gunpoint, and his face while listening to the woman who was ready to kill herself just to feel something. This can also affect relationships, because how do you love and trust your partner if you can’t fully feel love or happiness or intimacy? Even Eddie could only fake it for so long.

He needed to be in control Control is one way to feel just the slightest bit safer when your body is telling you you’re constantly in danger, and Eddie was constantly looking for control—of himself, his emotions, Christopher’s care with his many emails, taking on responsibilities alone even while Shannon wanted to share them. He wouldn’t even talk to her about money while they were co-parenting again, even though she's the only other person who knows what kinds of bills he's dealing with. Everything was tightly wound and neatly compartmentalized. He was hesitant to tell the team about Christopher and even Bobby seemed confused at the news. The only reason Shannon or Ana met the 118 was because they both showed up at the station to surprise him, and we only saw Ana with his family during the surprise party planned while he was in the hospital; we never saw him make the choice to introduce them.

He withdrew socially For someone who feels under threat but doesn’t have a way to escape because it’s constant, the only escape they have available is mental and emotional, which can cause them to become withdrawn and reclusive. Eddie doesn’t have that many relationships outside of work hours, really just Buck, Chris, and Carla—but he used to! In season three he had scenes with Bosko, with other parents, he had Hen and Denny over, the whole team was at his house for a party, they were all out at a bar together. Then Covid hit and he really only saw Buck and Ana. Then he got shot, he broke up with Ana, and in 5a we only saw Eddie with Buck outside of work once. It isn’t until Eddie's finally breaking and Buck practically moves in that we see him outside of work with anyone other than Chris and Carla (who was primarily there for Chris).

He was fatigued Constantly bracing for danger is exhausting, both physically and mentally, but even more so when your body’s constantly trying to conserve energy in a high stress situation it can’t get out of. When in this hunkered down state, everything slows down to survive long term. All throughout 5a as his symptoms were steadily increasing, Eddie was constantly rubbing his eyes and looking exhausted. It’s possible he had insomnia and nightmares throughout the whole season, but they didn’t show it until after he transferred to dispatch and everything was coming to a head in 5b.

People who develop this freeze/shut down response are often people who couldn’t escape their traumatic situation, whether it’s physically, mentally, or emotionally. And for pretty much all of Eddie’s traumas, he was trapped in some way. In Afghanistan he was hunkered down and out of ammo, nowhere to go just waiting for rescue or death; in the well he was buried under forty feet of mud as water was rising; he was bleeding out in the street and unable to do anything but reach for Buck; he was held at gunpoint in the back of an ambulance for hours. He got locked into that freeze response and couldn’t get himself back out.

In the lead-up to his breakdown, all of the fandom theories of what caused it related back to one of the more physically active PTSD symptoms: he has a flashback and attacks Buck, he’s hypervigilant and he protects himself from a perceived threat with the bat, he gets triggered by something and grabs the bat and almost attacks Buck, etc.

But even as he got worse, Eddie had nightmares at home, not flashbacks he outwardly reacted to. Insomnia, but not hypervigilance like Maddie. He only verbally snapped at Bobby when he was at the absolute end of his rope and desperate for a solution, and when he finally broke, he kept the door locked so Christopher wouldn’t see. All of his responses were still very contained and “hunkered down”, which as the book notes, leaves no stress outlet so it builds like a pressure cooker. For the last few years, firefighting served as an outlet so he could keep it together, but once he lost that, he collapsed.

Prior trauma in life can also dictate how PTSD presents itself, and even before enlisting, Eddie’s probably felt trapped in some way for pretty much his entire life. His dad boxed him into this suck it up, “man of the house” mindset when he was ten years old. His girlfriend got pregnant and they had to get married (he told Bobby he wasn’t ready). He suddenly had to provide for his own family with a high school diploma, so he enlisted. Even going to LA was to get away from his parents pressuring him to give them custody, and then he immediately got “stuck” trying to find care for Christopher.

And going back to his breakdown, he spent that afternoon listening to the call of a woman who felt like he did and was desperately looking for a way out by killing herself for just the possibility of feeling something on the way down. Then she was saved, and she wasn’t actually like him, she had a condition to explain it that could be fixed. So he tried to reach out to those who might understand what he was going through and they were all gone. Everyone he saved who made the pain worth it was gone. They got out; he was trapped. And then he physically trapped himself further by locking the door.

(Sidenote: each person from the helicopter crash died of a different common problem among vets dealing with PTSD: reenlisting to try to delay its effects, drug use to escape, the car crash could be from thrill-seeking behavior trying to replicate the rush of combat, and suicide.)

The book also talks about the phrase “embrace the suck”, which is commonly used in the military. Basically, you can try to fight your terrible circumstances, get worn down, and eventually break…or you can accept it, embrace it, and get the job done, because not doing the job isn’t an option. This “tough it out” mindset helps in combat, in that you can complete your mission and get back alive, but it becomes detrimental when it persists in everyday civilian life and becomes passive acceptance and resignation towards things you can and should change. When you let yourself get trapped. This can be staying in unhealthy relationships, stressful jobs, or living with symptoms of PTSD instead of getting help.

Eddie’s never said that phrase verbatim, but “brush it off, keep moving forward” or “pain is weakness leaving the body” captures the spirit pretty damn well. He’s become hardwired to stick it out and power through the suck to the point of cornering himself, even when there are options available that other people see easily. Many of his problems have been solved in one conversation with another person. (Another symptom of PTSD can be a lack of creativity and imagination because your mind doesn’t feel safe enough to play; how do you improve your circumstances when you can’t imagine anything better to work towards?)

I really wish we’d seen the moment he decided he was ready to return to the 118. In “May Day” we saw him happy to be back with the team and back in his element—saving people who were all trapped. But something still held him back because he didn’t return until the montage at the end of the season. Even when he went to talk to Bobby after Jonah, he said he didn’t have transfer papers, so he seemingly hadn’t started the process yet. Something was still holding him back, and I’m dying to know what it was, because that might’ve been the first choice he made for himself because he wanted it, and not because he felt pressured or cornered.

Eddie’s been trapped for a long time, and season six might be the first time we see him finally feeling free.

#911 #eddie diaz #911 meta

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