#what do i want to be when i'm 70?

[eddis-not-eeddis]

.

#i don't really want to make a whole post about it because it was a very personal and very miserable time for me #but genuinely #the thing that got me wanting to move on again and LIVE after my life plans all fell apart last year #was sitting down and very seriously thinking about the kind of woman i want to be when i'm 70 #i hit that thing that a lot of people in their mid-twenties are hitting right now #where it feels like we've already wasted everything and not only are we failures now but we will always BE failures until we die #but right now i'm still in my twenties #and when i thought about what a good lifespan looked like to me #70-ish seems about right #and what do i want to have when i'm 70 #what skills will be useful and beyond that #what skills will be fun #i had gotten into a mindset of “too late too late” #learning to draw #or sing #or dance #or fix a car #or ride a motorcycle #they all felt like learning NOW would be pointless because *melodramatically* aLL my YoUtH HaS bEEn WaStEddd #but unless God has another plan i'm not going to die in my twenties #i'll likely live many more decades #my life probably isn't even half-way over yet #what do i want to be when i'm 70? #it doesn't matter that i don't know everything yet #i have more than four decades to work on it #that's more than the entirety of the life i've already lived #and yeah #i spent five years at a dead end job that finally drove me almost to a breakdown #but even that wasn't a waste #i saved enough to go to school and i learned a lot while i worked there

[bumblingbabooshka]

[Tuvok & Janeway: Control, Distance, Duty & Connection.] Sources: St Voyager Transcripts / Mitski 'First Love Late Spring' / Disco Elysium

#web weaving #star trek web weaving #st voyager #Kathryn Janeway #Tuvok #be the change you want to see in the world - make a long post about Tuvok & Janeway's similarities <- angel on my shoulder #I feel like a lot of people see them as 'opposites attract' sort of friends where Janeway is unhinged & Tuvok reigns her in #but in reality I think that while there is that element in there (exacerbated HEAVILY by their delta quad circumstances) #what I see most in their relationship is how they both value loyalty and duty above all and are extremely rigid with themselves #and the people around them. How they both have to maintain distance from others bc of their positions as captain & vulcan #I hate when people dismiss Tuvok as not being remotely interested in Maryana or Noss - it erases an interesting struggle that he and Janewa #both share - their desire to stay loyal to their spouses vs the 70 years of loneliness that that loyalty demands of them #But they BOTH triumph and they BOTH remain loyal (Tuvok until he returns to T'Pel and Janeway until Mark informs her that it's over) #and for both of them it's a little bit insane for them to do that. #Isn't it more interesting that Janeway and Tuvok both have feelings for people other than their spouses but don't give in #to that temptation? #They're both people who live very fastidiously by codes. Either written codes or moral codes - they very rarely if ever do things because #it's what THEY want to do. I'd say they're the least emotion-driven members of the crew and yes I'm including Seven because Seven #has a very...how to describe? It's a blunt and insular selfishness. She does what SHE wants to do and doesn't really care about others. #To me that's emotion-driven. Or...personal desire-driven? Not a bad thing at all but very different from Janeway & Tuvok who #are always more 'this is logical' or 'this is for the crew' rarely do they think 'this is what I want' bc they can't afford to #for different reasons (captain & vulcan) #they both also are in the most 'caretaking' positions on the ship from my POV. Security and Captain - both are directly in charge of #ship and crew safety. #Janeway & Tuvok #star trek voyager #st voy #when I say caretaking I'm NOT saying they're everyone's mom and dad or whatever - I'm saying they're in positions where they always #have to think about the greater good and the crew as a whole and how much danger is acceptable etc etc. #Janeway is always killing herself for the crew but Tuvok is right there beside her

[roobylavender]

im really sorry if this question ends up being repetitive: but, if not for bruce’s over reliance on dick to regulate his thoughts and emotions, why would dick grow up into feeling like he needs to repress his emotions so much and his eagerness to act as people’s support? i know youve spoken about wolfman and his altering of their relationship but if ntt is generally an accurate portrayal of an adult dick, to me this nevertheless sounds like the consequences a parent-child relationship where the responsibilities are titled too much towards the child

i suppose this could also segue into asking for recs that would help me better understand your interpretation of their relationship 👀

not repetitive at all! to me the irony of wolfman's depiction of dick lies in that it is simultaneously something you can logically ascertain from prior canon but not for the reasons actually presented by wolfman. if that makes sense. he does extra work that isn't actually necessary to help explain why dick would act the way that he does because there's plenty of reasons for it without rewriting his history with bruce to have always been suppressed and edgy and dark. to me it makes far more sense to capitalize on the inevitable disconnect between bruce and dick as an adult and a child. batman: full circle is a good example of that dichotomy (and although it was published in the early 90s it built on mike w. barr's prior understanding of the relationship between dick and bruce that he wrote into the early 80s). bruce's primary concern for the people he works with is never standards or finesse but safety. he worries constantly about others coming to harm under his watch and with a child in particular those worries were exacerbated. he ran a tight ship not because he believed dick had anything to prove but because the only way dick could keep being robin was if he went about it safely. that was obv easy for an adult to understand. but not so much for a child

to bruce these worries were practical and par for the course (as well as an expression of his love and protectiveness) but for dick their consequences formed the crux of his entire world. as a child he idolized everything about bruce. his heroism. his work ethic. his skill. his resolve. his preparedness. if dick couldn't live up to the standard he set for himself in idolizing bruce then what could he ever hope to amount to? that was the thought constantly going through his head. and it's why the bulk of his childhood and primary tenure as bruce's partner was so precariously protected by the fact that nothing bad ever really happened during it (and admittedly this framing is convenient because even chronologically speaking nothing very significant happened in their history with each other until dick left for university in 1969) (i know dixon opted to write that whole shtick with dent in his version of events but personally i never found it necessary to do so). there is enough there in the idea of dick working hard for the course of a decade to embody who he believed bruce to be that lends itself to it eventually being difficult for him to healthily express himself once the rift between them actually began to emerge

because what about bruce was there to actually see that was broken and dark before dick became an adult? i know a lot of dick fans hate batman #408 because they don't like that it enforced "retirement" upon dick (which i personally believe is a conclusion they come to because of the way batman #416 re-framed the same scene) but to me that's an inaccurate reading of the text. batman #408 was about bruce (admittedly far too belatedly) recognizing that he could not in good conscience continue to ask dick to go out and be a vigilante on what he considered to be his own "orders". he viewed dick's close call with death at the hands of the joker as something directly of his own making. although their tenure with each other had been wonderful if dick wanted to continue to be a vigilante it had to be on his own terms and of his own volition. obv that was logical to bruce and it was something dick managed to accept in the moment. but it's still hard to go from always having a purpose alongside someone you idolized to finally being entrusted entirely to forge your own

in general i like the idea of dick the adult becoming privy to all of the personal problems and conflicts that come with being a vigilante. he was conveniently shielded from a lot of those problems as a child because all he had to do was be bruce's partner and hope to live up to the title. bruce had no reason to trauma dump on him or talk about his worries and concerns at length with him because it was never supposed to be dick's job to field those worries and concerns in the first place. he was a child. the only thing bruce wanted to do was to help channel his emotions through an outlet and provide him with a home to grow up in. but when you become an adult often that dynamic shifts. you're still not responsible for fielding those worries and concerns but you can perhaps be trusted with them. that's why i like the framing in batman #408 of dick now being a man. it's a subtle way to frame the double-edged sword of adulthood. the world is in your hands now but so will be the horrors that come with it. coming to terms with the real world that bruce lives in should be hard for dick. coming to terms with who bruce is when he's not perfect should be hard. coming to terms with how quietly bruce kept his grief because he did not see fit to overwhelm a child with it should be hard. that dichotomy of dick both wanting to be bruce's brother and his son should form the crux of their conflict with each other because you can't hope to be someone's equal and someone's protected at the same time in that kind of relationship. for dick to transition into the position of equal he has to expose himself to the fact that bruce is not in fact an idol but someone irrevocably human. and that should interfere significantly with his head and his own standards for himself

#all of this to say. i don't think it's so much about pre-ntt canon directly predicating ntt-dick's characterization #like it's not these events happened in the 60s and 70s so that's why he acts this way in the 80s #it's more the opposite. because these things Didn't happen in the 60s and 70s. that's why being on his own in the 80s is hard #dick wants so badly to be bruce's equal and an adult and a leader and someone trusted by others #but those are all things easier said than done. and the worst tragedy of it is that the bruce dick knows from childhood #is not the bruce he knows in adulthood. they are from the same person. but they are still different #because there are things dick is allowed to see as an adult that bruce spared him from when he was a child #and on one hand that was the right thing to do. but on the other hand it's devastating. because dick obv doesn't know how to cope #how do you cope with the fact that your decade-long idol is not in fact what you made him up to be #(and the thing is it's not that bruce isn't what dick made him up to be) (it's that he's also other things) #(he's sad. he's guilty. he's exhausted. sometimes he doesn't know how to go on) #reconciling with those realities should be unbearable for dick. because being robin has given him so much purpose #and while being batman gives bruce purpose too there are also so many times where he absolutely bends under the weight of it #and that sight should be frightening to dick #that's why i really like knightfall. or the potential of it because i mean prodigal did not deal with the aftermath of it #in a way that i liked at all. it was quite underwhelming #and then you guys obv know my issues with the framing of dick's reaction to jason's death and his conversation with bruce there #but the idea of dick needing to cope with bruce being a human capable of breaking under his own imposed duties is impt #and so my reading of their relationship is less about things written explicitly in text and more about drawing logical inferences #idk. i feel like i am all over the place i'm not sure if this sufficiently answers your question i'm sorryjgfkldghf #outbox

[meownotgood]

chapter 1 + chapter 2... halfway to 60k

#a little over halfway really #I'd begun to worry about my progress but when I put it this way I feel pretty proud of myself #the crazy part... is that I'm still not even close to done.... ahahaha #okay. chapter one is pretty much done #I've edited all the major portions I wanted to change #just a small editing session and she'll be ready to post #as for the second chapter #I'm about a third of the way through with editing the smut #after the halfway point the word count will start exploding because there's a ridiculous amount of editing I have to do #what I have written so far for the second part is more of an outline than anything else #and then of course there's the whole ending portion #I think over 60k in total word count is 100% happening #70k next? haha... ahaha..... ha.......... #laughing through the pain #(I wake up from a deep coma after producing 70 thousand words of aki sex) where....... where... am I....... #let's reach the editing halfway point by the end of this week!! I can do it!!!!

[talentforlying]

one of these days i'm going to write up all that i've changed from azzarello's bullshit era and the one (1) piece i've kept from milligan (and also changed) and the only thing currently stopping me is that it is going to be so, so inside-baseball incomprehensible. and i almost never want to go reading/screencapping azzarello and milligan to add references but i Want to add references.

canon is goop, just know that we continue to ride the bus down "hellblazer ended at #250 and looks like swiss cheese before that" street.

#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS. #i'm doing page maintenance before i fuck off to work rip it's got me thinking #anyway i think i said WAY back on this blog that a side goal of mine is to make hellblazer lore accessible to non-comic readers where i can #bc it's such a Heavy comic & i love it so much & i always felt Terrible recommending it to people only for them to be disgusted #and like. @ past me that particular goal is NOT as easy as you thought it would be lmao #esp because i have a habit of getting VERY detail-oriented when it comes to talking about hellblazer i think #but by GOD it's still a goal. i can put in some motherfucking references here and there when i talk about The Lore #like. azzarello's writing style never translates well for me in synopsis bc he Loves to put the audience in the outside perspective #where we are bystanders/with the rest of the bystanders to constantine's actions and not to his motivations/inner monologue #and i HATE that. hellblazer has ALWAYS been about what this guy has going on underneath the masked exterior #all the things you can't say out loud when you're queer and working class trying to survive in 70s-80s-90s england #but that you FEEL with your WHOLE fucking chest. how that feeling drives you to enjoy little rebellions wherever you can get them #(also azzarello just fucking Sucks LMAO but i'm talking style rn) #so i end up relying on frusin's art to tell the story a little more bc i think he understands the Theatre of constantine's public persona #and when that theatre is Absent then it's really REALLY noticeable. so frusin keeps me in it most of the time #and if i'm digging into frusin art then i'm Going to want to compare it to older panels bc i like body language consistency #milligan on the other hand has NOTHING to save his sorry ass bc his writing is drop-jaw fucking terrible AND the artist seems to like it #but the loss of john's thumb being tied to his mental health (ignoring the bullshit with shade) has always felt. important to me somehow id #anyway MUCH thinking about my favorite loser on this about-to-be-annoying day shdjksd he has been done so dirty #hellblazer brain go brrrr

[luvring]

would u guys mind if i made a new tag list form and completely restarted them. be honest.

#DOING A POLL IS SO SCARY. WHAT IF NOBODY VOTES literally the most humiliating thing ever Guys Please. #like. i absolutely don't mind having them and putting in the effort. i love u and i am glad u like my blog #but when i'm checking specific charas + do not tags for every person every post #and tumblr doesn't let me just copy paste the list. i have to backspace + retype the last letter of every user to find them #and i can't tag like. 1/5 of the people. or i don't see them see it. it's like. oh! #like my hq list has 70 ppl. and i write for hq most so u can see how it can get. Bahahaha #not interacting is not a terrible thing 4 me. like i'm not Watching to see if u interact. this is for U. what u do with my tag is up to U #but if it's because u don't want to be tagged anymore but don't want to tell me or smth I'd like 2 save us both. #bc i think the only time i've noticed some of these users is when i'm tagging them LIKE IM STARTING TO FEEL BAD DO U NOT WANT 2 BE TAGGED.. #..anyway. let me know. Heart Emoji

[salsflore]

everyday i wake up and have to start a new boss challenge called dealing with my mother

#not a single speck of consideration for whether or not i'm busy or tired or sleeping #she doesn't even TRY. the text is too small? ok i'll make it bigger. but wait now she's lazy to read. doesn't even want to try to understan #we had this whole thing yesterday where she was raising her voice at me bc she didn't get that #basically free shipping if products r over $500. our Total (incl. delivery) was $488 and she wanted to add on but i told her no... delivery #is $70. and she wasnt getting me so she was raising her voice like holy shittt not everything has to result in you yelling!!!! #you wake me up when i'm sleeping just to help you. you disturb me when i'm studying omggg girl please.... #i remember her [ why does it say– what transaction? i didn't make any transaction ] the text was literally- #[ no current transaction history ] smth like that like MOTHER???????????? and i think she's been telling my sister i'm complaining abt it #should i die. 1 like i'll do it #power outage started so i'm going to stay in my room and nap until lunch fml #but i have to go out and help my mom with an app thing first bc ofc #she admits shes just not bothered to READ. when it comes to emails or ordering food or anything like ohvm mymgodog #and shes so short tempered fuckkk ?!? #AH. EDIT BC I REMEMBERED. when she got an email today.. her application was rejected #for smth smth. anyways it told her she could login to the website using her birth info. (e.g 1870....) and she was like #u typed something wrong bc why does it say 1870... LIKE MOTHER ITS AN EXAMPELREFKWKSABHAHHHHH #THE EXAMPLE DIDNT EVEN HAVE HER NAME?!?£ #💭 #cw rant #negative

[coquelicoq]

my sister just mailed me a book with a note saying she's not going to tell me what she thought of it until after i've read it because she wants me "to remain uninfluenced by [her] opinion." ominous.

#i've read ~70 pages so far and i do have lots of thoughts but about half of them are 'omg i wonder what my sister thought of this part??' #i'm not loving the style but the concept is fascinating #she was given a free copy on her way out of a bookstore and when she sent me a picture of the back cover i was like #omg you must read this and then you must send it to me to read after you #because it's linguistics scifi and we are both linguistics nerds #and so. now i am reading it. but her saying she doesn't want her opinion to influence me makes me worry that i'm #not going to get a good grade in perfectly mirroring my sister's reaction something that is normal to want and possible to achieve #my posts #f

[verved]

.

#lineko.txt #i know ppl can do what they want but #when ppl draw characters that are confirmed to be senior citizens as young pretty people i'm like #get out of my house you're so wrong #yes this is about walter and carla #give me the gilfs #do you know how badass carla is to be like in her 70s piloting a fuck you eat missiles for lunch build i love her so fucking much #FULL COURSE OF MISSILES

[lyxchen]

So strange that I can just buy things now... like I have a mini job, I'm 18.. I can just buy stuff now and nobody can stop me

#i shouldn't have that much power i feel like #i can Not get into the habit of buying online things when i'm sad #cause that's what i want to do right now #also also #there's things i wanted to buy for really long #but i never could cause you can only buy them online #and i didn't exactly want my parents to know what i'm buying #but now i Can!!!! #i can #i can buy a doctor who 10th doctor life size cardboard cutout #and nobody can stop me #i #i can buy pride merch and clothes and flags and all the cool rainbow stuff #and Nobody Can Stop Me #i can buy a 70€ copic marker set and #Nobody #Can #Stop #Me #i love that #lea's random thoughts

[mosspapi]

Me at my appointment this afternoon when the doctor lady asked what my heart rate usually is: well I don't have like. An Overall Average but I can tell u the range it has from today?

Her: sure

Me: ok, since midnight it's been between 53 and 135

Her: *one of the most confused, mildly horrified faces I have seen in a hot minute*

#like. what do I do with this information #I take it this is obviously not a normal range #suppose it's a good thing they're gonna refer me to cardiology and get me to do a holter monitor lmao #and also that's not even the most intense range I've had. one day it was from 46-178 #like. when I'm actually asleep it's usually around 50 but when I'm laying down awake it's 70-80 and when I'm sitting up it's 100-110 #walking can b anywhere from 120 to 180 depending on how I'm feeling that day lmao and it just. randomly spikes and dropps all the time #old neurologist wanted to get me tested for POTS but was told they didn't test minors and then I never went back so. ig we'll never know #and like. apparently I have a bunch of other weird rhythms that nobody bothered to tell me abt????? which seems important to know?????? #armchair speaks #actually disabled #physically disabled

[pa-pa-plasma]

redditors are so fucking weird, sometimes they don't even know what hill they're dying on all they know is that they're gonna die on it for sure

#told a dude on reddit who was asking how much violence is allowed in YA books that you can put as much as you'd like #& he was like ''books sure have changed since i was an adolescent'' & i was like. no. they've always been that way. read them & see #(literally gave Watership Down as an example. it was published in the 70's) #& he started ranting & raving about how actually i'm wrong because liberals & kids these days don't understand #what it's like to be an adolescent (kept using that word) in a time where all books were banned for even the most minor of implied violence #& i was like ''what the fuck are you talking about'' & he was like ''where do you live & how old are you'' about a hundred times #i wish i was exaggerating. it really escalated that fast #oh also they were assuming i'm a guy & using he/him pronouns which is like. fuck off lol yeah you're obviously an old white guy from Americ #literally i should just leave reddit forever but i can't stand by watching people say ''quit forever'' when newbies ask simple questions #like redditors are insane. batshit #i want to be the ''do whatever you want forever'' person in a sea of ''you're 12 & only have a 12yo's reading level? die'' #also the blocking on there is bullshit. you can't reply to comments if one of the people in the convo is blocked #& you can't block someone twice in 24 hours #& if you want to report someone for. say. harassment. like asking for your location repeatedly. you have to report the specific comment. #which you now can't see because you blocked them #more & more i become astonished that people use every other social media EXCEPT tumblr #couldn't imagine living like that. it must be horrible

[roobylavender]

if i really scratch my head i think maybe the one thing all of this could stem from is mere discussion of the fact that talia and selina's histories with bruce sort of operate in the reverse and inevitably that factors into any contention with either relationship. like it can't really be helped that bruce and talia were married very early on into the latter's history and that this is integral to analyzing talia's entire dynamic with bruce, her evolving perception of her own place in the world, and her eventual decision to break free of bruce entirely. the constraints of a marriage with bruce as desired by her father are foundational lore to the early aughts of her character in a way that selina's settled domestic life with bruce is not. if we're talking about the golden age what was foundational to selina's dynamic with bruce was his ability to recognize above everyone else her consistent capacity for mercy despite her villainous goals on the surface. in post-crisis that was translated along the lines of a class struggle specifically. the villainous goals were interpreted to represent a defiance of men and the state and their collective violence, and they also formed a means of survival. what was initially merely a recognition of selina's capacity for mercy now became a potential recognition of bruce's own hypocrisies. selina acted as a symbol for petty criminals in gotham whom bruce would otherwise have written off as immoral wholesale bc to him the law was the law. and the remarkable thing about it was that none of it required selina giving even an inch to bruce. she was who she was and that was what made her utterly compelling to him. it's not a slight against selina that neither marriage nor a close civilian relationship formed the basis of her relationship with bruce and i don't understand why anyone would take it as one. marriage and domestic life for talia was a mark of the utter tragedy of her relationship with bruce. it was a fantasy and a delusion and it could never have given her what she wanted nor lent her any kind of agency in the long term. and i think when we meander into the realm of comparing the relationships we really start to diminish why certain aspects are important to either. why are the various patriarchal restrictions on talia's agency so integral to her character arc and its exploration of freedom? why is selina's existence in a sphere of life entirely distinct of bruce so integral to her character arc and its exploration of class? the constant back and forth between shippers on either end trying to equalize in terms of what either relationship has gone through in canon like it's a checklist to romantic validity is a bit absurd and i wish we would move away from it when analyzing the relationships or the characters

#it reminds me a bit of when i said that i think selina becoming a millionaire was a stupid development #that was insulting to everything newell and grant and moench had tried to build up about her in the early 90s #and people got upset and called me a hypocrite bc talia is rich. like my guy. can i help it that talia is rich #i can't erase her foundational character traits to make some sort of even playing field.. #and frankly the fact that she and bruce are rich /is/ precisely what drives the whole argument about duty between them #they are in no position to complain or grow tired or languish in their reams of wealth #there is a duty they owe to the world while they have power and they have to suck it up and uphold that duty #it is the absolute least they can do and they know that. hence why talia is repeatedly on bruce's ass about it #it is also not lost on me that the above complaint may largely stem from the lazarus affair #where talia was portrayed to be ridiculously haughty and more than willing to show off her wealth #even though she didn't do that in like. any other comic in her pre-assassination era #and the lazarus affair as i have said so many times was a ridiculous comic anyways bc it setup talia and selina to be #combative ship fodder to fuel disagreements between dick and bruce. it is literally the first comic where they were ever #pit against each other. despite the fact that they had co-existed in harmony for a decade prior #and denny o'neil had gone so far as to establish both of them as bruce's definitive love interests in the 70s #like idk man it's not hard to entertain a little more critical thinking and poke at why the comparisons between them are nonsensical #a lot of it. a Lot of it. is stemming from people wanting either ship to one up the other. and you shouldn't fall for it #to be deleted #anyway. not making this rebloggable bc i'm sure you're all annoyed already but this whole thing has really confused me. so i've rambled

[eggmeralda]

can never describe enough how excited I am for the inevitable 2010s revival of the future

(also this turned into a massive ramble accidentally?)

#like i know there are already kids being like ''i wish i was a teenager in 2014 😭'' but i mean like #you know how like the past 5 years have been so 80s inspired #and also 90s #and how the 90s were really into the 60s #and i cannot wait for all the awful aesthetics that were everywhere when i was 12 to come back #bc i'm curious how it'll look. bc obviously it won't be like. the 2010s are back #it'll be this romanticised idea of the 2010s and i wonder which parts will be rejected and which parts you'll see Everywhere #god i feel like there needs to be a new Thing that causes the need for nostalgia #e.g. in the 70s when punk and indie started as a response to the way music was getting so. idk. complicated or whatever #or like kind of inaccessible to do yourself. like dgmw prog rock slaps disco slaps etc. but not everyone could just. do that #and then punk happened and it was so simplified like no long guitar solos or whatever it was so stripped down. and same with indie #not to ramble about what was in my dissertation but early indie was SO 60s influenced it was unreal. and. it was the nostalgia..... #and then i guess with punk there was new wave and post punk and then new romantics and synthpop and things got synthier and then idk #the 80s were so electronic which. again it slaps. but then it got to a point that it was Too Much again that there needed to be a Return #to the past and stuff. so then grunge and britpop and other stuff happened #and idek it always seems to be there's a new music genre or new subculture that evolves over a few years into different things #before getting too much and the next generation wants to go back so they make a new genre. which then evolves and the cycle goes on #but (at least from what I've seen. which probably isn't a lot bc i live under a rock) there doesn't seem to be anything New lately? #everything's all revivals of older genres now. like i haven't seen any new equivalent to emo or britpop or punk or beat or rock n roll etc #like a thing that Changes the timeline. and i was reading this essay about the new beatles song saying how we don't need a new beatles song #even though the new song's still cool it was kind of saying like everything nowadays is recycled and nothing is shocking anymore #like nostalgia is so big now. with all the film remakes and stuff like that. there is nooTHING NEWLY NEW. IDEK. I am rambling so much #just thinking about many things. this was sparked bc i listened to twilight by cover drive and it literally transported me back to year 7 #and that led to early 10s nostalgia and by the time that comes back into fashion will the nostalgia problem be worse or will something have #happened within that time. like a new punk or something. tbf i guess a lot of what I'm talking about is to do with rock and i mean #there's rap and stuff which i don't listen to a lot of so idk maybe there's stuff going on there which i don't know about. but then #i want there to be something i Do know about. like something you can't escape. kids are all dressing like this and listening to this and #we WILL hear about it. new proper subculture that isn't just a week long tiktok trend. ykw i blame tiktok for all of this lol #but yeah. holy shit tag limit #ramble

[bees-with-swords]

Joining a Discord server with too many channels is like walking into a mcmansion, I swear. Half the rooms are full of dust sheets and the family has just been shouting at each other from across the house for the past year.

#I see multiple channels that haven't been touched in months and I'm like. you live here? #you need this much space?? #genuinely the servers with like 200 people and 70 channels are! scary!! #downgrade to a cottage! make it cozy! #if your members can't coexist with each other and can only stand to parallel play in different channels #maybe you need to ask some questions about the nature of the community you're fostering. #nothing against parallel play! #but when it's the only thing left #and your community has died down a bit #why do you still have different channels for every topic under the sun #downsize! #it's always better to feel a bit too cramped in a little cottage than feel like you're exploring an abandoned mall #'second general chat' has killed more servers than I can count #theres a reason you only have one living room if your family is small! #the internet 'discomfort with being unable to talk about exactly what you want whenever you want' is such a problem #you literally can't socialise or make friends unless you join in on conversations you aren't super interested in #please stop sitting next to each other and shouting into the void #the point is talking... to EACH OTHER #walking into the living room and being an active listener. laughing at someones jokes #lying around sleepover style and letting the conversation take you places #like I struggle with not changing the conversation completely to something else #but you gotta FIGHT that #it's the gremlin in your brain that doesn't like being bad at things #it doesn't want to have a conversation it isn't in control of. because of social anxiety #but you CAN'T be in control #conversations are COOPERATIVE. they're RECIPROCAL #and it SUCKS but it's life

[suppuration]

thinking again about the higher rate of queer identities amongst the disabled and/or neurodivergent, and how one common dismissal of those identities is due to an association with those minorities. when that increased tendency should be all the more concrete evidence that queer identities are a real part of the human experience. because disability and neurodivergence are very real parts of the broader human experience too

just because you don't have red hair doesn't mean redheaded people don't exist. just because you don't have schizophrenia doesn't mean schizophrenic people don't exist. just because you're not trans doesn't mean trans people don't exist. for any one of these demographics of person, belonging to that demographic is their individual human experience

ableism, racism, homophobia, it all goes hand in hand

#I'm mostly just rambling but this is ok to rb if you want #what got me thinking about it again #is that 7/9 of people with EDS are afab #and of that approx 70% like a third consider themselves queer #and that. cis or not. it's becoming very common to medicate afab hEDS patients with T #because studies have shown that estrogen levels do royally fuck up connective tissue when it's already wonky #so yeah. i absolutely am one of those people for whom disability and gender overlaps #for many reasons