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demetriandelibinaryboyfriends · 3 years

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I know it's been said before buy I just have to say I know the whole demetri and yasmine plot was just so that all the gay undertones of the rivalry and obsession and tension between Demtri and hawk could be easily overlooked

Lololol Anon you’re not even WRONG

Once they yeeted Moon out of the picture the writers were like “Oh shit, better No Homo it again!!!”

I guess in the writer’s (very feeble) defense, they DID set it up kinda, by having Demetri be like “Wow!!! I’d love to have Yasmine spit in my face!!!” and then very atrociously trying to hit on her at the beach party. But I thought his sorta-crush on her was just supposed to be like...comic relief??? Like “haha look at this nerdy guy being hot for this sexy popular chick he’ll never, ever get, isn’t it good memes???” I mean, him coming on to her at the party and just FAILING at every level was so incredibly funny BECAUSE of how much someone like her was just...never going to go for a dude like that in a million years. Like I thought that was the whole joke??? And Cobra Kai seems a bit more realism-leaning than some teen shows in how the teenagers actually act, so I figured from that angle it was gonna be the trope of “nerdy guy into hot popular bitchy girl” set up...but then, Reality Ensues, and she’s not only not remotely interested, but mildly to moderately disgusted at the idea. And that’s the comedy of it.

So yeah, after Season 1, I thought we were done with that whole arc, and it was literally just like...a joke “love” subplot to balance out the more serious relationship difficulties Miguel was having at the time. But now...Yasmine’s back, I guess??? And she apparently did a full 180 and is sorta nice now and went through a bunch of Character Development offscreen, none of which we got to see? So I GUESS her and Demetri were hinted to eventually become a thing, just like...very, very poorly. And in “hints” I assumed we were in no way meant to take seriously at all.

But yeah, the Yasmine/Demetri thing DOES seem kinda thrown in last-minute, given how finished that arc felt back in s1. And we only ever really get to see Yasmine when she’s interacting with Demetri, so it really feels like she was only brought back to be his love interest, which like...VERY weird flex, Cobra Kai writers, but okay :/

It IS incredibly sus how much time and energy Hawk and Demetri devote to their rivalry in particular, rather than like...idk, moving on with their lives??? Just ignoring each other and doing their own things, now that they are officially no longer bros and are in different friend circles, etc etc? Like they go OUT OF THEIR WAY to fuck with each other when they could just like...chill and move on. Like Demetri, a socially-awkward dude with limited people skills, works up the balls to get onstage and roast Hawk in front of an entire partyful of peers. Hawk SEARCHES THROUGH AN ENTIRE SCHOOL to hunt down Demetri at the school fight. Hawk goes up to Demetri on the first damn day back at school just to GLARE at him ominously (which I also just realized is RIGHT after some freshman girls give Demetri moony looks as they pass--jealous much???) Later on, Hawk coulda ignored Demetri and finished eating lunch with his Cool New Friends, but instead he goes out of his damn way to bust Demetri’s project and then come over and roast him about it. Demetri then eagerly goes over and reciprocates said roasting and spends that entire fucking soccer game tryna screw with Hawk in particular. They fricken almost IMMEDIATELY go for each other in the Golf N Stuff fight, IIRC. Really, they devote more time and energy to each other and their Rivalry™️ than either does to like...any other character? Like are Eli’s thoughts 90% “what’s the next thing I can do to fuck with Demetri?” Are Demetri’s thoughts 90% “what’s the next thing I can do to fuck with Eli?” Because like...I just don’t think obsessing over another man that much, even in a negative context...is very straight XD

There’s also the fact that their arcs are WAY more intertwined with each other’s than ANY girl either of them dates or interacts with. I mean ffs, Moon dumped Hawk BECAUSE of how he treated Demetri--even Hawk’s supposed Straight Romantic Subplot™️ ties directly back into Demetri! And the only reason Demetri joins Miyagi-Do at ALL and doesn’t just like...fade into the background in Season 2 is to show HAWK SPECIFICALLY that he can “fight back.” And later we have DEMETRI being the one to make Hawk realize he’s gone too far with Cobra Kai (i.e. his guilt after breaking Demetri’s arm) and ultimately being the catalyst that makes Hawk SWITCH SIDES! I honestly think every major point of development for both characters directly involves the other in some way--you could even argue Eli initially becomes “Hawk” in part because Demetri quits Cobra Kai, and isn’t around to stick up for him anymore--so he has to find another way to protect himself from bullying. Even their sense of “dojo rivalry” is mostly just about each other--Hawk’s animosity toward Miyagi-Do lowkey seems to stem almost entirely from Demetri in particular joining it and “betraying” him, while Demetri’s animosity toward Cobra Kai basically entirely comes from Cobra Kai taking Eli away from him. I literally like...cannot think of a single thing in either of their developments that doesn’t tie into the other in a major way.

Like to put it plainly, Moon and Yasmine feel like a single step in each of the boys’ character journeys--a single turning point to spur them in a certain direction. But Demetri and Hawk just...ARE each other’s character journeys. They’re not a step for the other to discover something about themself or get pushed in a certain direction--they just ARE the entire arc for each other, if that makes any sense. Like you could argue BOTH Demetri and Eli/Hawk’s arcs like 90% center on how to navigate their relationship when Eli gains confidence and their interests diverge and they no longer need each other the way they used to. Like??? Name ONE aspect of either of their arcs that doesn’t tie directly into their undying gay love friendship in some way??? It’s INCREDIBLY integral to both their stories and is just...SO much more compelling to watch than either of them making out with hot girls at parties or in the hallway. And them repairing their relationship and/or evolving it as needed, realizing that they love each other too much to let one another go, even if they’re both somewhat different after everything??? And realizing it’s a romantic kinda undying love they’re feeling, because really, what good reason is there for it NOT to be??? We HAVE enough male characters in media already with strictly platonic/brotherly friendships, why not just let two male characters with a compelling story, a strong prior friendship, and REALLY good romantic chemistry just like...be gay??? It feels natural, it’s a good ending to their arc, it feels narratively satisfying in a “Finally having the ‘will they or won’t they’ couple get together” kinda way...why not do it??? It makes ALL the damn sense and would be incredibly thematically interesting and SATISFYING, but y’all writers are COWARDS DAMMIT

Just gonna make that crack ship from Season 1 canon so we can prove that Demetri isn’t gay, no sir??? No Homo my guy??? We can only have one (1) LGBT character per television show, or the “traditional values” viewers will come for us???

Pre Season 3 I honest to god was hoping that part of Demetri’s arc, if he ran into Yasmine again, would be him realizing that he could honestly do better than someone that bitchy and vile, and having enough self-respect to just...lose interest in someone who’s going to push him around, act like he’s beneath her, and talk smack about his friends the second she thinks they’re “lame.” Maybe it isn’t too late though, and we’ll see this in Season 4? Here’s to hoping, because I am going to THROW HANDS if this fricken pairing is ENDGAME endgame. Like...what even do these people have in common, besides getting wedgies??? Do they even have like...any of the same interests??? At all??? How are they going to build a lasting relationship off of...both having gotten a wedgie? And being mean to people sometimes, I guess?

Like, sure. Let them date for a bit--they’re horny teens, they’re prone to jumping into relationships for not exactly the most deep and meaningful reasons. Physical attraction, teenage horniness, and raging hormones are no joke. So sure, I can see them having a fling solely because they both think the other’s hot. But you wanna tell me they’d LAST??? No SIR, I must inform you I Do Not Buy it.

(Tfw you meant to do a short ask making memes about what a crackship Demetri/Yasmine was in Season 1 and you ended up having WAY too much to say about All The Things and now it’s 3 am and you’re typing like a madman. I probably cycled back across the same 5 points like 5 times each because it’s late and I’m not thinking straight, I apologize.)

#hawk x demetri #demetri x eli #binary boyfriends #hawkmeat #demetri x hawk #eli x demetri #elimetri #demetri cobra kai #eli moskowitz #hawk #yasmine cobra kai #moon cobra kai #cobra kai #cobra kai season 1 #cobra kai season 2 #cobra kai season 3 #my askbox

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russellthornton · 7 years

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Oneitis: The Unhealthy Effects of Falling Madly in Obsessive Love

We all know where the line “O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?” ended up. A oneitis obessesion can become that tragic.

Oneitis is used to describe someone who—like Juliet—is head over heels in obsession with someone else. It’s life or death. A hypnosis of the mind. There’s absolutely no one who could possibly be more ideal than this one person in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD.

When you’re in it, that person is your everything—god forbid if you lost them… You’ve won the lottery. What the two of you have is unlike anything seen in the cosmos. Or they’re your dream partner. You just know you’re meant to be together. If only they also felt the same…

Sorry to rain on your parade of Disney emotions, but Doctor Dex is here to diagnose whether you have the oneitis disease. And to prognosticate on your chances of surviving it if you do.

Definition of oneitis

Oneitis is a term that became popular in the seduction community and the manosphere in particular. ‘Itis’ is actually a medical suffix used to let you know a word describes an inflammatory disease. So ONEitis therefore means a disease of the only-one-person-out-there-for-me type of thinking.

When you contract a belief in ‘one person for me and I hope I find them’ you exclude the gazillions of other possible love options available to you. You also potentially become over-fussy, never able to settle with one person. [Read: How to stop obsessing over someone: The 12 things you must do]

Furthermore, if you get with your dream fantasy partner, you’ll have a crippling sense that if they ever left you’d be helpless. They have all the power because it’s a win-lose scenario. If they leave you lose. If they stay you win.

It’s quite similar to the infatuation phase of a new romance. Think Bella and Edward in the Twilight movie/book series. Your relationship becomes this thing that is more important than everything and anything IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.

Signs and symptoms

Oneitis means different things depending on whether you’re feminine or masculine and whether you’re a guy or a girl. I’ll explain this in the prognosis section. With that said, let’s diagnose whether you have the disease and give you an idea of your outlook…

#1 You’re a forlorn poet. It’s hard for me to remember what it was like to be in oneitis because nowadays I see it as so lame. But when I was deep in the disease, like Romeo, I had this urge to capture the unique incomparable beauty of my partner. They were a ray of light and everything they did or didn’t do had a unique significance. I also felt a sense of somberness. [Read: Romantic attraction – How to know when you feel the real thing]

#2 You’re obsessed and unproductive. Everything reminded me of my partner when I had oneitis: foods they enjoyed, words with a syllable the same as their name. I’d find myself daydreaming about being with them. I let go of seizing other important areas of my life—they didn’t seem to matter.

#3 You exclusively listen to love songs. When you’re deep in oneitis you get tunnel-vision, lose your swag, and so no longer understand the language of ‘game.’

You’ve thrown out music that aggressively talks about money, success, and fame. Now you’ve got a whole playlist dedicated to how it feels to be in love. You hum ‘I think about you everyday’ to yourself.

#4 You’re needy. You’re on a drug. When you’re away from your partner you spiral downwards into a low mood. But being in their company is like being on a high. As long as you get your fix you’re good—though you sense it’s unhealthy. Your relationship feels less like enjoying a lovely meal and more like craving a sugar hit. [Read: 13 needy signs you’re too available for your partner]

#5 You’re not sure where you begin and they end. When you’re really bought-in to a person they heavily influence you. You start adopting their way of speaking, thinking, their opinions, interests–the list goes on. It may also seem like a cool thing to do.

#6 Your partner’s always right. You’re unable to think for yourself. So, in an argument or discussion you feel morally inferior and are more likely to bend.

#7 You’re frustrated and weak. I think anyone who knows the source of their personal ‘joy’ depends on something pretty much outside of their control *another person* feels inner frustration. You feel trapped.

#8 You feel powerless. First rule of any relationship: ‘the person who needs the other person least holds the most power in the relationship.’ When you have oneitis, you tend to give most of your power away like free candy. Until you’re a sniveling Mr. Smithers from The Simpsons telling Mr. Burns ‘I love you, arghhh, stop hitting me!’

#9 You’ll do anything #crazy. I once had 70+ missed calls by a girl that had oneitis for me. I was an unwitting asshole back then so I put it down to her being a crazy person. Truth is she was just crazy about us. [Read: 15 instant hacks to the put the crazy away]

#10 #desperate. Not good. Not good at all. Again, we want to be with winners—that’s a healthy way to approach life I think. Having other options, but selecting someone as your best option, is way more flattering than just choosing a partner out of desperation.

#11 You get easily bent out of shape. You need your partner to respond positively to you. Or to give you validation constantly. Your moods depend on how well your relationship is going. How you feel always comes down to how your partner is behaving in some way or another.

Prognosis

In a way, oneitis is a useful phenomenon. It makes you value one person enough to reduce your chances of being wooed by other third parties. This gives the two of you the chance to:

#1 Develop strong bonds that could last a lifetime.

#2 Focus on each other long enough to raise a family.

#3 Mature, so that you act in a way that benefits both you and your partner.

But here’s the WARNING…

Oneitis is probably more dangerous for guys. This is because women generally have far more romantic options than men do. And they’re innately better at being selective. So, they are far less likely to develop oneitis prematurely *unless they’re still in the Twilight Bella and Ed tween years of their life*.

It can still happen. Particularly when a woman seeks a man who is in say the top 10% compared to other men. But even the average woman automatically has several male suitors at any one time. More pickings for the kissing. [Read: Should you settle for less when you can have much more?]

By comparison, the average guy may have very few options. Scaaarce. So for the guy, developing oneitis most likely just makes him seem lame and unattractive. Not recommended!

Last point, feminine women are naturally more concerned with the flow of love. Partly because they have a more limited amount of time to raise children. Therefore, it might be paramount for them to develop oneitis—to select one best option from the many. Perhaps this is more important the more attractive she is.

There are roughly four stages of the disease:

#1 You lose your ‘game.’ Game, swag, sex appeal. Call it what you will. Losing your mojo is super dangerous. The masculine needs to worry about this far more than the feminine does.

For the feminine, they usually get hunted even when they’re married. Either way, it’s important to stay fresh. Think of Romeo and Juliet resorting to fake suicide because they did not have the skill-sets to create new options in their life.

When you feel boxed in, life gets real dark. Stay attractive, smooth, confident, self-assured, masculine/feminine. Keep that blade sharp. Keep that glow about you. [Read: Stop being socially awkward: 13 steps that’ll change you for good]

#2 You become the AFC. Becoming the Average Frustrated Chump in my opinion is a living tragedy. The second stage of losing your game—a near complete loss. It’s a state of quiet desperation, accepted helplessness. Being in oneitis makes you firmly hedge your chips on one person. When you’re not with them you feel torn up. But also you may accept being under-appreciated, under-sexed, or under-desired out of desperation.

If your partner flirts with others or seems dismissive with you and no longer excited to be in the relationship, you feel powerless and weak. Not a good place to be! [Read: How to reassure and win over a super-jealous lover]

#3 You become the unwise fool. Getting played for the fool can’t always be avoided. And it’s true for both men and women. But it’s especially true if you overlook warning signs. Are your friends and family telling you something negative about the person? Are they all saying the same thing? Maybe you just don’t want to hear.

Like the Montague and Capulet family beef in Romeo and Juliet, sometimes others are the ones with the issues. Maybe a friend is simply jealous of your relationship. But often, your single desire for one person blinds you to the realities of how that person behaves.

You also play yourself. Just think of the teacher-student affairs you read about in papers. Or huge divorce settlements after wild sudden romances. When you only see the positives in someone, it can be dangerous because you’re taking a gamble. This can lead to a broken heart, bitterness, and time-wasted. [Read: Fool me once shame on you – Don’t get fooled again]

#4 You never settle down. This one is dangerous for both men and women and particularly for women. In some ways, it’s the worst outcome. If you have this fantasy of the perfect one person you may never come across someone who measures up. You have unrealistic expectations of what it means to be in a relationship. You ignore the work and compromise and tolerance necessary for any healthy relationship.

[Read: Obsessive love: 15 ways to tell if it’s real or just unhealthy]

Obsession brings about amazing things. But it’s unhealthy to have unrealistic expectations of any oneitis person. You’re sure to be left disappointed and push partners away.

The post Oneitis: The Unhealthy Effects of Falling Madly in Obsessive Love is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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