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ashbrea381writings · 3 years

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Fractals and Feathers:Pt1

For as long as Damian could remember, his grandfather had grumbled about his wings. The outer color was fitting for the League, a deep pine green with brown eye-markings near the base. The underside, however… Were a soft, baby pink that faded into a grey-white. His soulmate was obviously some civilian girl who had no problems in her life. “It is unbecoming. If you were to ever meet this person, you must end them on sight, salvage some form of dignity.” Ra’s lectured, sneering down at Damian. “If you fail to do this, you will lose the right to have wings at all.” With that threat, Ra’s swept out of the training room, leaving Damian to consider what he must do.

The next five years were spent with Damian training hard, the threat of having his wings removed hanging over his head. He kept an eye out for his soulmate anytime he was out on a mission either with his mother or when he was alone. He was determined to not get his wings ripped from him, no matter what fate wanted for him. This went on until the fateful day his mother took him away from all he knew, and left him with his father. His father’s wings were jet black with small points of pure white like stars on the underside and slate grey with blue and purple markings on the outside. Damian didn’t care about the colors of the other boys’ wings, and ignored the color of his own, choosing to keep them tucked close enough that only the grey edges of the bottoms showed at all. This is why it took him 2 weeks to notice the first cracks.

****

Marinette had always found the dichotomy of her wings interesting. The light, pale pink fading to grey on the back, and the dark pine green on the underside. She thought it was pretty, and just a bit mysterious. Somehow, on hot days the inside of her wings would be just a bit cooler than the rest of her, soothing the heat just enough to be comfortable. On cold days, they gave off the heat of the summer sun, warming her through the cold nights in her attic bedroom. When Marinette got her miraculous, she worried about her wings giving her away, but instead of her pink/grey and green wings, she found that the pink was replaced by bright red with black dots, and the green was changed to black with red dots. Meeting up with Chat, she found him with startling acid-green and black patterned wings. “I guess they want to protect our identities.” He joked, laughing and admiring the pattern. “Let’s not focus on that, Kitty.” She sighed and turned to face Stoneheart. “This is scary enough as is without thinking about if they didn’t hide our wing colors.” “True… Let’s go.” His face turned suddenly serious. “Do you have a plan?” Stoneheart took time to defeat, and Ladybug forgot the Akuma, so they had to clean it up later, but… They were pretty happy with the partners they were starting to become. They started to get to know each other, not revealing identities, but learning everything else about each other. Until one day, Chat brought up something interesting. “Hey, what happens to your wings if something happens to your soulmate?” “Why do you ask, Kitty?” Ladybug paused as she was unpacking the dinner she’d brought with the two of them. “Someone I know, they commented about the color of a person’s wings when we were out together. They said something about how that person had lost their soulmate. Nobody ever said anything to me about the colors changing if we lose them.” He stared at his gloved palms, seeming to not see anything at all. “Why? Did yours change color recently?” Ladybug asked, alarmed. “No! No, they’re the same as always, but… My… My mother disappeared a while ago, and I want to know what to look for and how to know what happened to her if I see my father’s wings change.” He sighed deeply, dropping his head into his hands. “I know I can’t say more because we can’t know who each other are, but I just… I’m so terrified to see them changed one day.” Ladybug wrapped an arm and wing around Chat, pulling him to lean on her shoulder. “Oh Cat. I can tell you, but try to stay positive, okay?” At his nod, she continued. “Your color on the underside of your wings will change if your soulmate dies. If they die of old age, they turn pure white, if they were sick, pure black, if they had an accident, they become silver, if they died a hero or sacrificed themselves for someone, they turn gold, and… If they were killed, they turn blood red.” Ladybug sighed at the end and hugged Chat tighter. “Does your father have any of those colors without any other color or pattern? It’s only plain colors with no other pattern for if the person has died.” Chat took a deep breath, shaking his head, “No, they still look like Mom’s wings as of last I saw them. We… Don’t talk much.” He hugged Ladybug tightly, wrapping his wings around under the one she had put over his shoulders. “Thanks, Bug, I’m glad I know now… At least I know she’s still alive out there. Somewhere.” They finished their dinner, flying a circuit around Paris to make sure all is well before they called it a night. The next few weeks passed, and they kept up with the Akuma Victims, making sure to check in on the victims after each fight. The people of Paris started noticing something odd as this continued though. The Akuma fights, even though all damage was reversed after each one, were affecting their wings and those of their soulmates.

***

Damian squinted at the small spider-webbing of cracks that glowed gold on the underside of his wings. It reminded him of kintsugi in appearance, subtle cracks that showed gold between the usual colors. “Father, what does this mean? I thought your wings only changed color if your soulmate died?” He finally asked after the number of cracks increased to stretch in geometric patterns across the pink and grey feathers. “I don’t know, I’ve never seen this before.” Bruce frowned, looking closely and waving Tim over to him. “Will you try to find anything you can about this phenomena?” Uncharacteristically serious, Tim nodded and went to work right away, his red and black wings draped over his chair comfortably. Damian turned away before he noticed the colors inside his wings, not wanting to know. A sharp beep alerted him to his phone, and he raised an eyebrow at the photo. “It would seem Kent is having a similar problem.” He showed Tim the photo Jon had sent of his own wings, the blonde and emerald green feathers also showing cracks, in a similar geometric pattern, but in a mix of gold and blood red. “I shall inform him that we are already looking into it.” “Yes, let Jon know that we’re working on it. If his case increases at any point, or anyone else around him experiences it, have him notify us.” Tim called over his shoulder as he continued to work on the program he was making to search with.

***

How long does it take for your wings to change color when your soulmate dies?

Marinette chewed her fingernail as she scrolled through the results, reading a few different reports comparing the reported time of death and when the soulmates’ wings changed color, mostly reported by hospitals in the case of illness or death. “Within two or three minutes. That explains a lot, actually. But then why are they not completely changed, just showing cracks?” “You have dealt with some pretty destructive Akuma recently.” Tikki recalled from her place on her Chosen’s shoulder. “Maybe those only kinda count because they would have been permanent if you hadn’t done the Cure?” “I suppose. Syren was pretty intense, and so many of the people who have the markings were probably people whose loved ones and even they themselves drowned.” Marinette sighed. “I wonder what Mamman and Papa think about all this?” “You could probably ask them… It isn’t so strange to wonder since you can see the cracks in their wings, and in other people’s at school.” Tikki suggested. “Good idea, what would I do without you?” Marinette giggled, patting Tikki’s head and opening the edge of her blazer so Tikki could listen in from there. The bakery was quiet at the moment, so Marinette had little trouble catching a few minutes of her parents’ time. “What do you think about them? I saw Alya and Nino with the markings at school and I’m not sure what they mean.” “Well, I’ve seen them before, but not this much on one person.” Her Papa said carefully, “Your Grandpa Roland had a heart attack not long before your Maman and I got together. Did you notice the black edging to some of Grandma Gina’s feathers?” “I thought she just had black markings.” Marinette answered softly. “On the back of her wings, yes, but his wings are just grey and white with the black tips.” Tom sighed, rubbing his face. “This many cracks… and the mix of colors. It’s very unusual. I can only assume it’s because of the akuma attacks. Which means that either your soulmate is very lucky, or they aren’t in Paris.”

#MGI Tope Tussle 2021 #daminette #marinette dupen chang #damian wayne #adrijon #adrien agreste #jon kent #dc #miraculous fandom #wing au #soulmate

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mevekagvain · 3 years

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Chapter 93 - Fancy chair, love it.

- So my theory is that Raizel just never learnt how to write in Lukedonian either.

- Tbh the janitor is suspicious. Like how hard was he googling M-21?

Chapter 94 - SUYIIIIIIIIIIII

- Ah geez the first of the racistly depicted characters.

Chapter 96 - Suyi getting mad at the kids for complaining about Hansu is so funny like when she first appears you think she's perhaps a stuck up celebrity or a pushover but it turns out she's just a really sweet friend.

- Suyi being stunned by Rai's looks but not falling for him (same with Yuna) is one of the things I always liked about Noblesse. Like sure in the first meeting they get blushy but I'll just jot that down to the inherent beauty of nobles since I can't relate to it at all.

Chapter 97 - Frankenstein's house always being stocked with so much food because the kids just started coming over daily is hilarious. Even funnier since Frankenstein obviously thinks it's overkill but is the one stocking up anyway.

Chapter 98 - Regis and Seira 🥺 Seira's og outfit was the best one she had like it only goes downhill from here folks.

Chapter 99 - It would have been so funny if Frankenstein went "they must be cosplayers" instead of realising the two were nobles.

- Regis taking all the initiative shows how it's his roadtrip coming of age journey which is pretty clever. Also Seira's just like that but still.

- Shinwoo stop exercising in class bro. Do not flex on the rest of us this is so rude 😭😭😭

- Regis confidently saying he's a noble in class to humans he doesn't plan on mind controlling... Baby boy why are you so dumb? How is this hiding your identity??? And Seira just lets him,,, good for her.

Chapter 100 - Ah yes their elegance boner at seeing Raizel... nobles are so fucking weird.

- M-21 thinking he won't get any information because of his time at the Union and thus being surprised at how open Frankenstein is is actually really sweet. Like yeah I still think Frankenstein is an unethical and questionable person but he is kind to most humans (werewolves and nobles can go fuck themselves I guess lmao).

Chapter 101 - The second hand embarrassment I felt when M-21 called the two noblesse... how do I even consume content?

- Yeah 100% most union members don't know the difference between nobles and vampires. I bet they'd classify jiangshi as either mutants or werewolves. Or to be more specific, that would be the classification given to low leveled members. On one hand I think it's dumb that the Union gives members twisted information because how would they even use it? But on the other hand it makes sense since it prevents said members from seeking nobles for help. After all, if they believe even the 'noblesse' are vampires that drink blood, than obviously they won't see them as possible escape routes.

- 'Noblesse only applies to one person'. Yeah because Rai's brother is fucking dead. And so is whoever was his predecessor/parent.

Chapter 102 - Those bullies got backup so fucking fast like Shinwoo literally just asked Regis and Seira if they were okay then boom! They're back.

Chapter 103- Regis going ??? essentially when Shinwoo tells him to take care of Seira is so funny like yes ofc he's confused she's literally a clan leader + noble females aren't physically weaker + noble women work out just like the men.

- Rude, Regis. You can't just ask someone why they're mingling among humans. You're doing that too. Who doesn't mingle among humans smh. Even cats and pigeons mingle with us.

Chapter 105 - Love how everyone else in the household is so sick of ramyeon like Raizel stop please you're being selfish.

Chapter 106 - Frankenstein is the definition of the 'right in front of my salad?' meme at Regis and M-21 arguing at the dinner table. Then there's Seira and Raizel just waiting for the noodles to get soggy so he can't even eat. Wish Urokai could see him getting tortured like this.

- The soldier rejecting backup because he knows the enemy is the Union hurts my heart. Wanting to prevent casualties... iwi

Chapter 107 - Shark how tf do you not know about South Korea? That's one of the asian countries people actually know about. I guess maybe it's because this is from around a decade back? K-pop is more recent and made the country more visible I guess.

- Ah yes Takeo. Forever known as "the first time I read Noblesse and he appeared I thought he was Marie's sister since they had the same hairstyle". Like I thought that before even learning about the Aris Taivra fiasco. My power 😔

- Oh don't worry M-21, Frankenstein stopped experimenting on people 830 years ago. You know, as one does.

Chapter 108 - Shark has like no general knowledge. Geography? History? Tf is that I guess.

- Tao saying they're the worst possible people for the job is so funny like yeah he's right. "All we do is massacre people in warzones why are we in Seoul?"

- The rest of the squad complain or are confused about the peace meanwhile Takeo is vibing. He's the normal guy TM of the group.

- Ah yes noble lore. If you take canon at face value than the fact that nobles were around when humans first emerged and there being about 2-3 clan leaders before the current generation means you can estimate their lifespan. Ofc it differs wildly depending on how you interpret the 'first humans' part. I'll assume there were 3 generations before the current generation (mvp lord being the third generation) and won't be adding the current generation since a 0.5-2k years is kinda meaningless. I'll also be assuming that mvp lord entered eternal sleep at around the same age as his predecessors and that he would have died soon from old age anyway (since canonically they do have limited lifespans). If we assume it's just the first human ancestors (7 million years ago) than the average pureblood lifespan is 2.33 million years. If we assume it's when homo sapiens started to emerge (300k years ago) than it's 100k years. If it's about modern humans (130k years ago) than it's 43.3k years. Regardless I'll ignore it since my hcs are that nobles are effectively immortal unless killed and that the 2-3 clan leaders is a misconception due to a mix of Gechutel just straight up lying, because there are clans that have had fewer clan leaders, because I have nobles settling on Lukedonia only 30k years ago, and because Gechutel is factoring in his own age of 10.2k so it's more like 'There have been 2-3 Ru clan leaders before the Ru clan leader 10k years ago since after we settled in Lukedonia'. There's also the possibility that nobles didn't have lords or clan leaders until a few thousand years ago in canon but the species has existed for much longer.

- 'Nobles are individualistic... They don't despise humans but don't love them either.' Humans w/ ants. Now if the ants were capable of speaking with us it'd be exactly the same situation.

Chapter 109 - "What were they researching here?" Since when does the Union research anything aside from human modifications Kranz? Why do you even need to ask? More seriously this means that the Union doesn't actually only do human experimentation and weapons lmao. The other shit just isn't relevant I guess. It's a shame, I'd have loved to see how a lab focused on like, fixing up polluted waters, would be fit into the story.

- The fact that Tao beat Jake up is never mentioned enough. Also confirms that Jake was lying out of his ass about being the strongest.

- Marie being the weakest assassination squad member is interesting like I know why Crombel doesn't need bodyguards as the reader but you'd think the Union would be suspicious of him not having a stronger bodyguard. Also I still can't believe the Union doesn't bother learning who the members are aside from the ones Crombel tells them about like. Bro???

- Shark calling Takeo uptight is hilarious because the guy literally just shot the falling ceiling light which is the opposite of uptight. Either he was preventing them from getting hurt/being caught or he wanted that to happen considering the fact that he shot it and it shattered. And then he just goes back to leaning against the wall. Takeo please 🤣

Chapter 110 - And Shinwoo's still staying over at Ikhans place. Wonder when he's gonna move back. I really love their dynamic like yeah I beg my sister to get me food all the time too. Also love the apron and skeleton hoodie.

- Shinwoo went through the five stages of grief pretty quick huh? Like yeah it's his own misunderstanding that Ikhan is dating someone but still. Homophobia is annoying as always though.

Chapter 111 - Suyi paying for their food is so sweet of her and also I relate so much like yeah mood that's me and no I don't want to be paid back.

- Takeo,,, the fact that he just hands his wallet over because he doesn't like violence and doesn't want to beat them up,,, my heart. Otoh... how did he even get cornered in an dark shady alleyway lmao.

- Aris managing to make herself look like a teenager as Taivra is interesting since Takeo says he wants her to be able to go to school like Yuna and Shinwoo when he's treating them. I guess she looks younger without makeup.

- Takeo just straight up pointing his gun at Shark in public because he mentioned Taivra... anger issues much? I understand why but taking your gun out is an overreaction.

#noblesse #raining while reading

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is-that-another-soulmate-au · 4 years

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Zukka Soulmate AU part 9

@mypureessence

@chaoticidiott

@ari-shipping-stuff

@knightedbot

@idkhowbutimgayer

@swampy-beans

@angrylittleintrovert

Kurt was only out for about 15 minutes but that was long enough for Tarren and Fin to get him to the back on one of the spare cots. The gaang besides Iroh and Jee stayed to see how things went down, all gathered in the room reading maps and planning their trip while Lily paced back and forth muttering to herself before she threw her hands in the air

"Why wouldnt he tell us!?" She shouted

"I dont know Lily" Tarren said while he dabbed a cold towel on Kurt's forhead

"I mean, he could see the scars the three of us share! Why... why wouldnt he say anything!?"

"I'm sure he had a good reason Lily, I mean, how did you guys even know you had a third soulmate?" Katara asked with a small tilt to her head.

The duo both placed their hands to their chests instinctively. "Well, we didn't always know, but one day we both collapsed in the middle of a shift,"

[Flashback when? Flashback now!]

"Of course Miss Jin, Grey with honey and two sugars at 3 pm sharp just like every other Friday" Lily smiled while handing the girl her cup of tea she made for her at the exact same time every single friday evening. Jin was a favorite.

"How are you and Tarren?" Jin asked with a smile which made Lily blush

"Hah. We're doing alr-" suddenly Lily lost her breath from a blunt pain in her chest. "Tarren" she wheeled out just before letting out a yelp and clutching her chest "Tarren!"

"Lily!" Tarren's voice called out from the other sid of the Library followed by the sound of scrolls falling to the ground

The two scrambled to eachother with Jin following Lily and Fin rushing out from the back with paperwork to see what was happening. The pair crashed into eachother and held onto the others arms "what happened?" Lily cried out "whats going on. It burns, oh Gods it burns Tarren"

"I- I dont know" Tarren when to unclip his uniform, shucking off the top shirt before ripping the underdress to reveal painful bubbling skin in the shape of a hand and spreading across his chest and up to his neck down past where he managed to rip down to.

"There's a third" Jin said with a gasp

"Whoever they are theyre in trouble" Fin said bluntly while turning to Jin "Jin do you mind running to get the medic? I have to stay with them and they can't move" he gestured to their shivering crying forms.

"Are they dying?" Lily managed to wheeze out between sobs of pain

"No, this isnt direct, its just an- oh right" he nearly forgot that Lily watched her parents killed in a similar way "Lily, trust me, the third in the trio is not dying, they're being hurt, but they aren't dying"

Lily nodded, the pain lasted for a good 20 minutes before slowly dying down and feeling like it was being treated on all ends.

[Flashback over]

Katara gave a small frown "I wonder what happened to him"

"Ill tell you if you help me sit up" Kurt said with a small cough. Sokka who had been sitting near him but was lost in a map with Zuko looked up

"Oh, the munchkin awakens!"

"The... what?" Kurt laughed out

"Ignore him, he's stupid sometimes" Katara said as she helped Kurt sit up and put a pillow behind his back. "How did you get burned if you dont mind me asking?

Kurt gave a sigh and looked to Sokka and Zuko "well, honestly its probably a similar story to mr princey over there"

Zuko tensed "how do you know who I am... and you don't know how I got this"

"I do" Aang said with his hand raised "well, kinda, I think it was your da- mphf!" Zuko shut Aang up with his hands on his mouth

"Shut up, now is not about me or how I got my scar, its about short stack over there"

"Shortstack!? Okay, now that was just rude. But I got this burn from my dad, he wasn't great and had no position to even justify his abuse against me and my mom." He brought his hand to his necklace with a small frown

"He caught me hanging out by a small pond with an earth boy named Haru and was convinced I was a traitor for doing so. He lectured be when he got me home by slamming me against the door and burning me"

he looked up to Tarren and Lily "I didn't tell you, and I always hid my scar because I'm scared hes going to find me again, after he left for the war my mom fell ill and died, so I ran away to my Pappy and he's sick right now so I don't know how long I have with his protection." He gave a sigh "I dont want him to find me and know that you two are my soulmates because he'll hurt you to get to me. And I cant let you get hurt..."

Lily put her hand on her chest with a frown "I'm sorry Kurt, I had no idea. But now that we know I hope you understand we won't let anyone hurt you or us."

"And that includes me" Fin said from the doorway "you've got two master earthbenders and a vigilante assassin on your side now"

"Woah, woah, vigilante assassin?" Toph piped up "Lily is an assassin!? That's so cool!" She marched right up to her and jabbed her finger in her direction "I dont know you too much but I do know that I like you!"

Lily flushed a bright red and rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly "hah, thanks? Wait are you a beifong?"

"Sure am!"

"I didnt know the beifongs had a daughter, let alone a daughter teaching the avatar earthbending" Lily said with a smile

"Yeah, well they didn't think I was strong enough because I cant read" Toph gave a shrug

"I could teach you sometime" Lily offered

"Im blind missy" Toph said with a cackle

"I know" Lily giggled "We have Braille books, I can teach you to read braille if you want to"

"Braille?"

"Instead of ink on the pages there are raised dots in patterns to make the letters, numbers and words, Fin and his wife managed to invent it ten years ago because Fin's best friend is blind and he wanted to send him letters, but it isn't too popular yet sadly"

Toph stood there for a moment before saying anything "wait... are you telling me there's a way I can read?"

"Yeah! Its more commonly on paper but Tarren and Fin use earthbending to write it out much faster on stone tablets, its much less wasteful. But for nonbenders like myself thats not really an option, so I write with the paper and the pressing tools."

Sokka piped into the conversation with a quick jump to his feet "can you teach me too? I want to know how to write in a way that she can read" he had a determined look on his face and sound in his voice that caught everyone off guard

"I... didnt realize you cared?" Katara said with a confused look

"Of course I care Katara! I probably care too much sometimes, I care about every single one of you," he looked around "did... did you really think I didnt care?"

Aang looked at Katara and then at Sokka "she probably only thought that because you show care differently than her, I know you care, I mean you've managed to keep us all together and solve our problems, youre a uh... solve it kinda care... if thats a type"

Everyone looked at Aang befote Lily gave a small laugh "you sound like Fin, he's really caring for sure but you have to understand him to notice his love language." Lily paused "but teaching you both will take a while, even just teaching Toph here, who I assume has never been taught anything about letters and words on pages. I'm guessing you lot are traveling to stop the war?"

"You bet!" Aang said with a cheeky grin

"Well you could easily travel with them and teach them all, you and Tarren both" Kurt suggested

"Im not going anywhere without you" Lily said whil jabbing a finger towards him and leaning down close to him "I promised to protect you, and I will"

"Then how about you all come with us! We can all learn braille! I mean I'm already teaching Aang waterbending, Toph is teaching Aang earthbending. And hopefully Zuko and Iroh will teach him firebending so a new writing language should be good for all of us!" Katara said with excitement clear in her voice

It only took a bit of convincing to have Kurt join but it took a good 20 minutes worth of convincing Fin to let Tarren and Lily travel around while Fin ran the library with the help of Jin who stepped up to take over the pairs roles in the library.

But before leaving Lily showed Sokka the braille pressing tools so he could get a quick idea of the way they worked before packing up a good amount of paper and tools so she could teach them. On the road. Tarren would help Toph with hers for stone given they're both earthbenders.

Once they started packing up their own belongings Toph walked into Lily's room with a small knock "hey, you almost ready petty steps?"

"Pretty steps? Uh, yeah I just have to find a good place to put this" she moved her hand a bit with a wooden mask facing up

"What is that?"

"Its my assassin mask, its got a white base, think warm wind. Two black marks, think of cold night ponds stretching from the side tips of her nose, above the brow bone and getting much thicker before going up and becoming two horns. The eye holes and the lips are both dark red, think of the warmth of a summer evening sunset."

Toph stood in the doorway "I didnt need the description but that kind of makes colors interesting"

"Really?"

"No"

The two laughed at the bluntness but then Lily shrugged "I guess your right, I didnt need to describe it, but I wanted to anyways" she held the mask for a second before packing it away "it's from my sisters favorite spirit fable. 'Lady of the sunset pond' she had my mama read it to us every night" Lily reached to her necklace and held the roght ash stone.

"Sounds like they hold a special place to you"

"Yeah, they do"

"What happened to them?" Toph asked while leaning against the wall

"We don't have the time to unwrap another story today" Lily gave a small laugh while she set her bag down "besides I need to change before we go, can't leave in a work uniform you know, not really meant for traveling" she moved towards Toph and gave a small bow "thank you for accepting to learn braille from me"

Toph smiled shortly but then punched Lily's arm earning a confused 'ow' to which she responded "thats how I show affection"

"Ah, thats an interesting way to show it" Lily laughed "now I best be getting changed, mind stepping out? I know you see with earthbending, I've seen Tarren train without sight before so I can recognize it"

Toph laughed and stepped out "whatever Pretty steps"

Once everyone was changed and packed they all let on loading up Appa and preparing to fly to the next place. The ragtag group of 4 traumatized kids was suddenly a ragtag group of 8 traumatized kids and 2 wise old men traveling on a flying bison with a small mischievous lemur. What a busy two days huh?

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vanityloves · 3 years

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Storm and ivy + medic

@septemberlove i have. no excuse for how late these are but uh. thank you for sending these in 💕.

[word count: 1.8k+ with the longest 'authors note' bc im mentally ill]

sfw, mmm comfy cozy, general sick hcs,

storm - what are cozy days in with your f/o like?

Whenever I think of cozy days, my brain immediately goes to rainy/chilly weather where we can cuddle up together and my brain short fuses. I'm gonna assume this is just like a day off or something though!

How I visual them together vs how I write them is odd because they technically don't act or accept they're 'together' until after the comics but I always write them like they're in a Steady Relationship while on base. I'm always writing a slight AU if you will. Or maybe it's after they get their jobs back at Mann co - I should highkey adjust that but No ♥️. No more thinking, just content based off my idealized universe.

There's definitely a point in their relationship where it's like 'I think I have to put in a little more work here'. I'm not saying either party is slacking but they're slacking ♥️. Neither of them really take action. Chef doesn't blame him or really complain about it because that's their nature, plus they don't know how romantic relationships really work or flow, especially with a person like him. Medic doesn't see an issue with anything and continues on with his normal business.

What I mean by slacking is, there's not a lot of quality time being spent together which would be fine if it wasn't both of their strongest Love Languages, which could help them strengthen their relationship. It's odd because they're 'romantically involved' but they don't spend a lot of time together for either of them to consider it romantic, simply because it's on company time.

ANYWAYS THATS JUST ME BEING CONVOLUTED. FEEL FREE TO JUST IGNORE ALL OF THIS.

Medic goes to bed pretty late and wakes up at a fairly early hour. Chef is a late sleeper and forced to be an early riser because their Actual Job is to make at least 2 or 3 meals a day (if they want something else, they're on their own but hate when anyone messes up the kitchen and will honestly, stand there and watch said person).

There's minimal time they can spend together if they want to do their own activities - for Medic, it's tinkering around with organs or in Engie's garage, for Chef, they're typically meal prepping or trying to tend to an animal or plant of some sort.

Medic is actually more direct about wanting attention and it's never been a problem because he's cautious about it. Chef is more emotionally inclined and willing to drop hints that they want more attention.

Chef probably has one day off where it's a complete free for all, for the rest of the team, which would be the perfect time to spend with Medic - If he wanted to stop working, that is. Just don't picture it but, Chef will literally sit in the medbay for hours just to be near the guy, but it isn't bad? The drone of machinery or the scratching of his pen is relaxing, or having his doves nearby is always sweet! Plus, he's prone to talking their ear off when he finds something interesting, so they'll chime in and have some back and forth.

But, yknow - sometimes having someone's undivided attention is nice and Chef is pretty dense when it comes to that and wonders why they feel so upset.

They swallow their pride and ask Medic if they sleep in his room one night and Medic's not as dense as Chef, he understands that they'd never ask for something so out of the blue for no reason and he promises to finish up his work early so they could head to bed together. Chef had nothing planned, they literally just needed that affection and closeness - since it was their day off Medic takes the hint and puts his work aside for the time being.

They'd probably sleep in and stay in bed a while longer before getting ready together - no uniform required. Chef isn't so talkative in the mornings, Medic's noticed, but they were happily fiddling with his buttons and tie, humming in thought before answering his questions. Medic's seen them out of uniform of course, but it's always funny seeing them in just a button up and jeans like … mom on the go vibes. Medic leaves his coat behind before making his way to the kitchen with Chef.

The kitchen usually has a couple people loitering around, grabbing their coffee or honestly, waiting around for Chef because they always make extra and these bitches are lazy. But the kitchen has now become A Medic Supremacy Zone and he has first dibs - the benefits of being w/ Chef I guess. The two would work as if the others weren't there, keeping their conversation between each other even if that means Medic tilting his head down while Chef leans in closer to reply. There's a high possibility the other have left them to their own devices, seeing as the couple was ignoring them / knows they won't be getting anything. Breakfast isn't extraordinary but it feels special since they actually get to sit across each other and share the morning today.

It's possible that they'd go out and run some errands today, but it's a cover to window shop and walk around. I'll be honest, they probably haven't had proper dates so it's refreshing. You could ask Chef what they liked the most and they're just like :] Yes.

Other times, they like to curl up and catch up with some reading (well, Medic at least) while Chef rests against him and skim over the words. They're not too invested in what he's reading but likes to have some idea of what he's talking about so they don't ask too many questions. (Very 'these words are big and english/german is not my first language + I can't read as fast as you can so I got lost 7 pages ago). Medic likes to watch Chef garden and tries to help them tend to whatever they're able to grow in the goddamn desert. He overwaters a cactus and looks away if it dies. Chef talks ab how they're growing mint and how it really took off while Medic's standing there like :] Oh, lets make tea with that. Because they're Old People (read: Medic is old)

🕊🐁

ivy - how do you take care of each other when you’re sick?

Chef is easier to take care of when they're sick. They continue working until they're pretty beat but once they feel sick and a break doesn't work, they'll try to finish up what they can before turning in early. They see themselves to bed and inform whoever's near that they won't ne there at dinner and if they really cant figure it out, then come get them - other than that, they're barricading themselves in their room.

When they're sick they're REALLY sick but recovery time is usually a few days (depending on how bad it is). They basically hibernate and don't like being disturbed. They're used to not fending for themselves since they've been on their own for a while but really appreciate all the check ins Medic does w/ them, especially when they're all better.

Medic, being...their Medic, he definitely gives them a check up when they first begin showing symptoms and he can be a stickler when it comes to drinking fluids and eating properly. Chef usually has a finicky stomach as it is so Medic really urges them to drink soups and easy foods like bread and crackers. He checks in on them A LOT, even if that's just peeking in to see if they're asleep or not. He backs off when Chef gives him a cold stare from under the covers and minimizes his intrusions/tries to be more sneaky about it. He has colder hands and they let out a sigh when he puts his hand to their cheek or forehead to check their temperature.

Chef doesn't hesitate to take any medication he has for them, mostly bc they aren't fully coherent but they also don't have energy to care, in fact they have the thought that if he accidentally kills them, maybe respawn will cure them. Unfortunately, Medic debunks this before they can even muster up the energy to ask.

Overall 7.5/10, very good patient. Will refuse to get up and accidently falls asleep in the shower which scares the shit out of him.

Medic on the other hand is very stubborn and doesn't like to stop working unless there's something that physically stops him (ex: vomiting, serious injuries [unlikely bc medigun], etc). If he tricked the Devil, surely the man can beat the common cold or flu! Unfortunately he gets those full body shivers and feels terrible. He can be pretty dramatic when he's sick and everyone's subjected to his bad attitude.

It's Chefs turn to play doctor - they can tell by looks alone that he's under the weather. His face is flushed and he's a bit sloppily put together, which isn't *too uncommon* but his tie isn't tied and his glasses lamely slide down his nose. They tsk a bit while taking his temperature just to keep track of it before ushering him to his room.

He can be dragged to bed if persistent enough. Chef's firm hold on his arm is enough for him to get off his chair and have them tug him along. He doesn't have any room to argue with them as they look up at him, so he relents, stating that a short break would definitely do him good, but he'll be up and at em by tomorrow.

Chef is doting and becomes a bit of a helicopter parent when checking on him. This mostly consists of peeking their head in but not really stepping in the room. Every so often they'll wake him up to drink water and either hand him an ice pack or offer a cold towel and move to dab at his forehead and neck.

Medic hasn't been too keen on having others taking care of him bc that's HIS job, and he often tries to shoo Chef away by saying he's more than alright now. Sometimes he's caught sitting up in bed doing work or taking notes on something bc he's a bit restless when he's sick and stationary for too long.

But he's right. He's very good at taking care of himself - when Chef offers him food he'll force himself to eat some of it and he's drinks plenty of fluids without needing reminders. He kinda bosses Chef around, telling them to grab certain medications from the Medbay. They trust his judgment on his own health and bring him what he asks for but Chef keeps a mental note of what he takes and when. Don't need the doctor accidentally taking too many pills today!

Overall 6.5/10. It's hard to get him into bed and becomes restless fairly easily. He is persistent that he's ok after one day of rest only to be found sneezing himself away in the Medbay.

#tf2 oc #self insert #medic #self ship #tf2 headcanons #my headcanons #my writing #i guess #'have you written enough?' idk you tell me.#s: soul food #if anyone reads even a part of this im sorry #💙 2d's spouse 💙#mars!!!#ahh thank you again.. sorry these are so late ahshhd i get caught up w/ other stuff so this was self care <3 !#im very passionate ab medic YSHDHD like yeah no shit bitch 🦧

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babblingbranches · 4 years

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Cousin Convos: Artemis Fowl

Some parts of a conversation between me, who has seen the movie, but not read the books, and my cousin, who read the books, but not watched the movie.

I’m BB and she’ll be C

C: I don’t really remember what juliet did in the book, but I think she was in training to be a butler like butler? maybe???? or maybe I’m just assuming that because… that’s what their family is all about… being butlers who are butlers… but anyway I remember her having fighting skills of some sort, and I’m sure she did more than, uh, give artemis a sandwich or whatever it is she does in the movie

BB: She gives Holly a salad too

C: well… I’m pretty sure she did more than that in the books...

BB: She got the Annabeth treatment in Sea of Monsters apparently

C: well I don’t remember her being quite a main character to begin with but if you’re talking about a reduced role then probably yeah

BB: Movie Annabeth probably had about as large a role Juliet had in the book. Movie Juliet on the other hand... you know how we complain about how much of a non-entity Adam of Voltron is? Yeah, basically that.

C: yikes, for real? I wasn’t expecting it to be that little, like… I thought “she just serves people food” was an exaggeration

[...]

C: I gotta wonder why they even bothered including her, seeing as they clearly didn’t care about removing other elements of the book

BB: ... That’s actually a good question

C: that also had me thinking abt the other things they removed or changed, which made me think abt how they fridged artemis’ mom, but then I wondered if it counted as fridging since fridging is sorta used for the sake of a character’s arc or backstory or w/e and I’m not sure how much his mom’s death affects him or has any relevance in this movie outside of getting her out of the way, so now I’m curious… how much did his mom’s death affect artemis or have relevance in the movie?

BB: It was one less character for the screenwriters to deal with...... Oh, did you mean how her death affected Arty’s character and the plot of the story? It didn’t.

C: wow cool

C: somehow that seems even worse than regular fridging, they didn’t even bother using it to fuel anything, they just straight up did not give a shit about her and wrote her out in the most brutally bland way ever

BB: She is mentioned once that I can remember, near the beginning, when Arty was talking to some authority figure (a faculty member at a school I think?) and he says something along the lines of “I know it’s been tough since you lost your mother”, and that’s about it. No other mentions, no pictures, not even a name. We don’t even know what she died from. I guess she choked on a walnut for all we know.

C: gfffgh, damn, rip angeline fowl, did in by lazyass weaksauce fridging

BB: Oh, so her name is Angeline? Good to know.

[...]

C: actually wait so how long was art’s dad gone/missing in the movie?

BB: Uuuuhhh, I think he gets kidnapped about 15 minutes in, give or take?

C: oh ok so he was probably raising artemis prior to the events of the movie? just wondering what his guardian situation is like since in the book his dad was gone and his mom incapacitated so he was really just running around near on his own aside from butler just being a little crime lad

BB: I guess it’s still mostly just Butler raising him since his father only comes around for limited amounts of time and is usually on business trips

C: it seems like in a way they sorta just flipped the situations of his parents (one gone and one distant) but in like a boring way

BB: I even mentioned during the liveblog that I was sick of the distant parent away for work trope

[...]

C: thinking about it, the movie is kinda an interesting bastardization in that it seems like it didn’t really cut out a lot of the characters or worldbuilding elements, but rather cut out things about them or their core concepts/premises (like artemis being a supervillain), or like changed/rearranged the elements so that they’re still there (holly being leprecon or whatever) but also completely different (instead of being an adult woman facing workplace sexism, a tweenage looking girl trying to… save her family’s reputation or w/e?)

C: like it’s just interesting how it could have been an adaptation that removes or adds or alters details in a way that makes them nearly unrecognizable, but instead, the thing is, seeing what I have of the movie, they are still recognizable and identifiable, it’s just their nature that’s changed, often inexplicably and in a way that seems wholly opposite and contrary to their original

C: like, imagine a harry potter movie where harry’s still raised by the dursleys, but they’re just a nice boring family who treat harry decent, and they send him off to wizard school, and he still goes to hogwarts, and he meets ron, who’s kind of a bookish nerd, and hermione is barely there, and they have to find one of the horcruxes, but not because of voldemort, they just have to just because

C: and also the whole movie is narrated by hagrid for some reason

BB: The notion of the Harry Potter movies being narrated by Hagrid is hilarious to me

C: then maybe that wasn’t the most accurate comparison, bc it didn’t sound like the narrator in artemis fowl was very enjoyable

BB: I said Hagrid narrating the movies would be hilarious. I never said that it would be enjoyable. You know what they say, comedy is sourced in misery.

C: ah...

[...]

BB: Rereading through the liveblog and seeing one of the first posts mentioning how I had hoped the narrator wouldn’t be sticking around now has me cringing at past me’s naivety

C: is he just really super present throughout the entire movie?

BB: It felt like listening to an audio book that happened to have moving picture accompaniment

C: jesus

#Artemis Fowl #Artemis Fowl Movie #Cousin Convos

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earwaxinggibbous · 4 years

Text

Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2019

So 2019 was kind of a weird year, wasn’t it? Not just for like, life, though it was weird in that aspect, but in music.

I can’t tell if 2019 was an incredibly strong year for music or a weak one. This, to me, is a sign that we’re transitioning into a new era of popular music. The youth are once again taking the reigns of the music scene as did the punks of the 70′s and the grunge kids of the 90′s. Meanwhile, the oldheads flounder for relevance in the face of this new adversity. “Nobody could’ve expected this!”, said no-one ever.

There was a lot of great pop this year, which I will get to, but there was also a lot of bad pop. All of it was either by shitty new artists who have no talent or previous hitmakers swimming around in their own piss. Regardless, it was all interesting to look at. You won’t see any “this entry is short because this song is boring” sections. I also won’t have to rant and rave constantly about the reprehensibility of certain artists, though it will come up. So I guess 2019 was a better year to talk about bad music.

Less do dis.

10. Senorita - Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes

I can’t explain why I hate Camila Cabello so much. I didn’t even realize I hated her until, like... now.

I thought Havana was okay, and her work with Fifth Harmony was tolerable, but every other single she’s dropped has been fucking excruciating. Bad Things sucked, that one song where she can’t pronounce the word “heroin” properly sucked, and this song sucks.

Much like Selena Gomez above, Camila Cabello is yet another female singer who lacks the ability to display any chemistry with anybody, even her actual real friend Shawn Mendes. As well, like sister Gomez, she fills the chart niche of sexy Latina women for men to drool over. “I love it when you call me senorita” is one of the corniest and stupidest lines ever written. She may as well have said “it gets me hot when you call me Ms. Cabello” because that’s essentially the equivalent.

There’s nothing sexy about the airy whimpering or the obnoxious “ooh-la-la”s or the way Shawn harmonizes, which implies he also loves it when you call him senorita. Nobody actually bothered to think any part of this song through because nobody ever thinks very hard about writing Camila’s songs. Otherwise Bad Things wouldn’t have accidentally sounded like an abuse anthem when it was supposed to be kinky and sexy. And it’s how creepy lyrics like this got by in Senorita.

If he says you’re just friends then you’re JUST FRIENDS. Did we learn nothing from Ann-Marie and Marshmello last year?

This is just yet another lame, plotless, meandering love/sex song by Camila Cabello who has a good voice, but only ever performs these god-awful sex jams with no sex and no jam. And it’s unfortunate because this is sort of the lot dealt to most Latinx artists. Pop-friendly artists like Camila are divvied up into racial categories without anyone even noticing, and most likely she will only ever write and perform sex jams because that’s what a Latina woman in pop is pushed into. Not that I think she has any problem with it, it’s more indicative of a bigger problem than specifically one with Camila herself.

People have been sexualizing the Latinx community since the dawn of time, and while the new movement of Spanish music might change this, it sure as hell hasn’t started yet.

At least it isn’t seven minutes long like Te Bote.

9. Money in the Grave - Drake and Rick Ross

Drake had 25 hits last year, and only one of them was a song I might say I actually like. I remember I said there’d be no boring songs, but... Drake hasn’t been interesting in a long time. Even when I found out about his secret son, or the fact that he was with a significantly younger woman, I just kinda shrugged and said “oh”. Drake has to be on his way out. How much longer are people going to stand this?

Money in the Grave isn’t as turgid as 2018’s Nonstop, or as audibly inept as the 2017(?)’s Pop Style, but God. At this point, every Drake song sounds the same. The man is incapable of bringing forth any kind of emotions, his beats are pathetic drum loops, nothing he writes has any personality. It’s almost funny how boring his music is.

Rick Ross, if you remember him, was known in his time for writing shouty drug dealer anthems. He yelled a lot, and I was sitting with bated breath waiting for him to fucking 6ix9ine scream over this track, only to be disappointed when he lowered into a calmer register for this tune. Drake even made Rick Ross boring, and Rick Ross is one of the funniest bad rappers I can think of, aside from like, Soulja Boy.

I no longer understand what niche Drake fills. You can’t dance to this, you can’t get high to it, nobody’s gonna think you’re cool if you enjoy it, the lyrics aren’t even passably interesting. It’s the same rap cliches as always, perhaps with a new coat of paint, but said paint is the same color as it already was previously, and makes no change.

No wonder Drake endorsed Lil Baby. Nobody else can equal his talent at sounding bored.

8. Bad Guy - Billie Eilish

So here’s an unpopular music critic opinion: I don’t like Billie Eilish.

I’ve known of her for a long time, and never once has she drawn my intrigue. I’ve gone all over asking people why they like her, and I’ve heard all sorts of answers. Her voice is good, her lyrics are good, her production is interesting, her subject matter is deep... whatever it actually is, I couldn’t tell you. But in the end, I basically feel the same way about her as I do about Twenty-One Pilots. She’s an artist in an oversaturated micro-genre who, despite being of lower quality than her contemporaries, managed to do something different enough that she rose up in the latter part of the genre’s life. In Billie’s case, it’s the trend of female alt-pop singer-songwriters who write about things like politics, feminism, and ESPECIALLY mental health.

Lorde was the original, but we also have Lana Del Rey, the more pop-friendly Halsey, Marina and the Diamonds, the dreaded Melanie Martinez, to some extent even Alessia Cara, just a whole bunch of them. They all had their own unique personality. Billie Eilish’s personality is that she has none.

Okay, I’m being a little mean. I do think that Billie’s music videos are actually very interesting, but good music videos does not a good musician make. Her voice is more of a phlegmy whisper than people let on, and her lyrics... like, what, what makes them so special? And why didn’t wish you were gay get ANY backlash when it’s basically just a backwards version of Little Big Town’s Girl Crush?

Bad Guy is the worst of her singles without question. Its beat, much like most of her songs, sounds like two people accidentally banged on top of the Cassio and somebody pressed record. Her voice continues to be boring and flat, for some reason she has to whisper everything, and the lyrics are some of the most mind-numbing shit I’ve ever heard. Which moron at corporate told the 17-YEAR-OLD to write a “steal yo man” song where she threatens to seduce my dad? Like, ignoring my own personal history with my dad, you are literally a CHILD.

Generally speaking, the song sounds like someone gargling mouthwash in my ear for a minute or two, but like, very quietly. Which is kind of pathetic for a song called Bad Guy. You sound like a pretty average guy to me.

It’s obvious from the music video that Billie’s main inspiration is grunge, and if that isn’t the case I’ll be surprised. The weird imagery and intentionally dressing like a homeless person to every public thing she does gives off big Nirvana energy. One could argue that Billie Eilish is a good segway into teaching the youthsters about the ghosts of music’s past. There’s just a few problems with that.

One: Bad Guy sounds nothing like a grunge song.

Two: Billie Eilish does not have a grunge voice.

Three: Billie Eilish just... isn’t doing it right.

Billie Eilish’s parents are two wealthy actors and she was basically born with the ability to get into the business easier than other people. I’m not saying that you can’t be a grunge artist if you’re wealthy and have a decent family life, but I am saying that Billie’s music doesn’t convey any kind of grunge appeal. There’s no roughness or rawness to it because she could immediately walk into a producer’s studio with a wad of fifties and ask for a sick beat. Her music displays no emotion, and emotion is the main draw of grunge. Like, Kurt Cobain wasn’t a very good singer, but he knew how to perfectly channel how he was feeling. Grunge music is about feelings, not polish. And Billie Eilish is all polish.

I’m not gonna get all angry because grunge is being gentrified by a tiny girl when it was originally started by broke heroin addicts and lesbians, but I am gonna get angry because her music sounds worse than albums made on a budget of 600 dollars by a guy who has had one voice lesson his whole life.

She should just go into modern art.

7. Worth It - YK Osiris

Originally I was gonna give this spot to a different song. Worth It was so immediately bad that it rescued Lil Baby from my list this year.

Don’t expect to be this lucky next year, bitch.

But we’re not talking about that squealing douchebag, we’re talking about THIS squealing douchebag:

YK Osiris. I have no idea where he came from, I think he was part of last year’s XXL Freshman Class? He’s more of a singer than a rapper, so I’m not sure why he was, other than the predetermined idea that all black artists in pop are rappers. I wouldn’t even call him a singer, because the man cannot sing.

At the beginning of the music video, you see dozens of paparazzi swarming around YK Osiris’ car as he exits with a girl. This is the set-up for the song’s impressive amount of self-fellating narcissism, as YK Osiris assumes he has fans. Who the fuck listens to YK Osiris? I mean, clearly someone, because he charted, but like... what does a YK Osiris fan look like? Do women actually like hearing him wheeze into their ear? Like BEES?

NO MORE BEES!

Hearing this fucking chicken nugget talk about whether or not I’m worth eet is the lamest thing. Why does she have to be worth it? Are YOU worth HER time? Who the fuck are you? The attitude is very, I guess, mid-70′s Paul Anka-esque. And now I’ve made you imagine a YK Osiris cover of You’re Having My Baby. I also remember Todd in the Shadows compared this song to Earned It by The Weeknd, but I dunno if I get that vibe.

I mean, Earned It is a song about like... BDSM sex, presumably. So that’s more of an “if you’re good master will make you squart” kind of thing. This is more some sentient dildo insisting that you prove his worth to him before you’re even DATING. That’s a red flag on the same level as meeting a guy who lives alone and still puts a lock on his fridge. Like, what’s in there? What’s in the fridge? Is it human meat?

The guitar solo in this song is the only thing about it that’s... worth it. ZING!

6. ZEZE - Kodak Black ft.Travis Scott and Offset

ZEZE is a bad song. Plain and simple. It’s the essence of bad.

It feels like... it wasn’t even finished. Like everyone involved came in the next day to finish tweaking it only to find out that it was already sent out to be published and sold. I feel like there are things missing. Like yeah, the steel drums are nice, but where’s the rest of the instrumentation? There’s a drum and a steel drum and then nothing. Why does this song feel so naked?

Kodak Black sure doesn’t help, still sounding like he’s half-man half-screaming rubber chicken and mumbling like an actual infant still figuring out the whole “talking” deal. It’s not like Travis Scott or Offset add anything. I can’t remember what they did. ZEZE sounds the way I imagine taking ketamine and cocaine would feel. This song is so amateurish, I almost have good will for it.

If this was made by, say, a couple of high school kids dinking around with a Garageband, I might find it a little cute. The problem is that this song was made by several Whole Ass Adult People who have enough money to not make shit that sounds like ZEZE. It’s cute until you remember that Travis Scott produced big sexy SICKO MODE and yet somehow his presence couldn’t make ZEZE sound like it was made on a higher budget than 20 bucks. Someone even put an echo on Kodak’s voice, like that’d make him ANY BETTER.

It doesn’t help that I have continuing ill will towards Kodak Black because he’s a sex offender and nobody seems all too pressed about it. (Some rappers even congratulate him for having a rough past, like yeah, I guess some of those serial killers really did deserve better, huh?) I won’t be satisfied until he’s wearing orange pajamas on an island far away, and until then my feelings stand.

As it is, ZEZE is a song so chintzy-sounding and lame that I can’t imagine who would enjoy it. This song has the same energy as one of those hula girls you put on the dashboard of your car: Cheap and ugly.

5. The Git Up - Blanco Brown

Whenever something new is created, there’s always a leech.

I probably don’t need to tell you about the monstrous year Old Town Road had on the pop charts. For weeks and weeks, Lil Nas X was blocking people from his throne at the top of the Billboard Hot 100, bumping off new faces like Billie Eilish and oldheads like Taylor Swift. Old Town Road knew no mercy. This is the year that a gay black kid singing about horses ruled the world.

And Blanco Brown wanted a piece.

Blanco Brown is one of those artists who started out producing and writing for other hitmakers. He worked on some song by 2Chainz, a couple by some woman named Demetria McKinney, he produced that accursed MILF song by Fergie, a lot of relatively famous people. But he looked at Old Town Road and realized that he, being a black man from the lovely state of Georgia, could also do that.

He could not do that.

The Git Up is a husk of a song, only validated by the fact that it achieved what it was aiming for: TikTok memes. It’s as shameless as Watch Me, but doesn’t even have the small sense of excitement Silento gives off. Blanco Brown’s The Git Up and the “challenge” that it’s attached to are pathetic. The only reason Blanco isn’t too ashamed to go outside after writing this is because he knows plenty of people have fallen into his trap, and that they’re bigger fools than he is.

I started off hating Old Town Road, but over time I’ve sort of come to love it. There’s innocence in it. Lil Nas X didn’t mean for it to be a number one hit, it just happened. A lot of artists were trying too hard this past year, and I suspect it’s why Old Town Road made the pop charts its bitch. It didn’t have to try.

A lot of people will point at rock bands for being “fake”. If they draw inspiration from grunge or punk, and they don’t have the proper edge, many will point and laugh. But just because something is fun and hip doesn’t mean it’s easier to make. In fact, I feel it’s a lot easier to tell if someone’s making a shitty pop song for any reason other than themselves. A lot of people thought Lil Peep was faking, and he really, really wasn’t. There’s grey area in topics like depression, but Blanco Brown (and anyone like him) is as transparent as a window. I see through his mock-excitement, his cute little dance challenge, his “innocent” song. We all do.

I believe Tyler Durden put it best:

“Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.”

4. I Don’t Care - Ed Sheeran ft. Justin Bieber

Speaking of being fake...

I don’t know if Ed Sheeran realizes how embarrassing this song is. More than any other song he’s been involved in. More than Shape Of You, or that one song on Revival, more than anything. I Don’t Care is an exercise in humiliation.

Generally speaking, I don’t like Ed Sheeran’s music. I think he’s had a couple good songs, we all like Sing and Castle on the Hill, it’s not like he’s untalented. But every time he’s gotten a big hit these past few years it’s been so shitty or mediocre that I wanted to scream. I’m not sure why, but all of his fans seem to flock towards his worst songs. And of all of them, I hate I Don’t Care the most.

Usually the problems with Ed Sheeran’s music just revolve around his meek, tiny personality and his weird style of lyricism. The level of detail he gets into can be both an asset and a detriment. I remember I basically described Shape Of You as a virgin anthem, because Ed Sheeran exudes dorkiness. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, and when it comes to nerd music I’d rather take Thomas Dolby, but he definitely had a style.

I Don’t Care is Ed’s Intuition.

As in, the Jewel song. The blown-up pop song released by Jewel, a previously sincere folk singer who played acoustic guitar and sang about break-ups and The Media(TM) and stuff like that. Ed Sheeran is a lot like Jewel, if you think about it. Both of them are skilled lyricists who play acoustic guitar and sing about personal topics, and both of them suddenly decided to throw that away and make a sell-out pop hit. If this kills Ed’s career, they’ll have had basically the same musical trajectory.

Ed Sheeran opens the song by saying he’s at a party he doesn’t wanna be at, and that’s how the song feels. You, the listener, are at a party you don’t wanna be at. What good did adding Justin Bieber to this song do? Oh, right, that’s what made it a hit. I Don’t Care goes far beyond Blanco Brown’s brand of shamelessness. Blanco Brown specifically wanted a dance challenge hit. Ed Sheeran just wanted a hit. Any hit will do. He brought in guaranteed hitmaker Justin Bieber, tossed out his acoustic guitar for fully electronic production, and sang about something vague and already done. And the worst part is that it WORKED.

I imagine this was almost entirely through radio play, because this song is so radio-friendly and milktoast it’s unreal. With a stupid music video greenscreening Ed’s face onto shit and “ooh ooh”s and all, this song exists to pander. It wasn’t created for humans, rather, it was created for the pop music algorithm that’ll shove it into people’s laps without them asking. There’s no artistic integrity, nothing worth thinking about for longer than its runtime. It made it to the Hot 100 because it can be played in grocery stores and clothing stores and really any kind of store. Ed Sheeran is a God of nothing, and I can’t imagine he’s proud.

3. No Guidance - Chris Brown ft. Drake

This song is bad on every possible level. Starting off with the fact that it’s nine minutes long. It out-lengths last year’s overly long garbage fire that was Te Bote.

And then you look at the credits and know exactly who’s to blame for all this:

I don’t know if Lil Dicky anticipated giving Chris Brown’s career a second wind with Freaky Friday, but I think that’s what he did. I defended Lil Dicky last year, and I’m still not clear on how much he actually wanted to work with Chris Brown since that’s not really the kind of thing famous people are honest about, but this wasn’t Lil Dicky’s hit. This was a springboard to launch Chris Brown back into the limelight. Earth didn’t even chart. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the last gasp of Lil Dicky’s career in the spotlight.

But I’d take Freaky Friday over No Guidance any day.

No Guidance is the formal beef-squash between Chris Brown and Drake. Apparently they both dated Rihanna at some point and allegedly had an actual literal bar fight. Despite Drake claiming he still loves Rihanna, he’s also choosing to publicly make up with and work with the man who got her hospitalized at 19 years old. Then again, Rihanna also wants nothing to do with Drake.

(source)

Over time, Drake has proven himself to be his own flavor of scumbag, a weirdo who dates younger women and pretended not to have a son. Perhaps this is his way of getting back at Rihanna. Or he’s simply using Chris Brown’s new power to bolster his own career. Regardless of why it is, it’s gross, especially when he’s dropping bars like this:

Someone else here is looking a little violent, no?

On pure quality, it sounds like every other Chris Brown song, just with Drake tossed into the mix haphazardly. It’s a lame song about hitting on some girl where both artists drop references to their old songs because that’s the easiest way for a failing artist to feign relevance. Assuming nobody features Chris Brown on another massive hit next year, there’s a fair chance he’s done for, and after years of oversaturation, the public finally tires of Drake. No Guidance is a nothing song with scummy shit going on behind the scenes.

RIP Lil Dicky.

2. 7 Rings - Ariana Grande

I never really understood the hype around Ariana Grande. She has a few songs that I enjoy, and her voice is very good, but nothing by her really stands out to me as an amazing song. Ariana stans are relentless. When I posted my review of the thank u, next album some complete stranger replied to it with “Uhhh ok sis”. Like barring the fact that I’m not a girl and we’re not related... it’s an opinion, calm yourself.

Frankly I don’t know how people enjoyed this song. Her stans are insane, but surely not that insane, right? I mean... this isn’t a song. It’s a MISTAKE.

Between Gwen Stefani and Ariana Grande, sampling The Sound Of Music for your pop song is a dangerous game. And really, she should’ve sampled like, anything else. Because nothing says “wealthy, savage girl” like a cute song about your favorite things, I guess!

I’ve never felt quite so immediately gross and uncomfortable as I did when listening to 7 Rings. I have no problem with women flexing, of course I don’t, but this isn’t flexing, it’s mocking. 7 Rings makes me feel like I’m being bullied.

Ari had a horrible 2018, and she’s more than allowed to flex a little, but I can’t imagine why anyone would want to essentially play the villain of a high school movie. She’s not Cher Horowitz or Regina George, because then at least she’d be entertainingly bitchy. I judge a flex anthem based on how much I get excited for the person being wealthy and cool. This song makes me want to commit a robbery.

The lyrical content isn’t the only bad element. It also sounds like shit!

Ariana Grande is a belter. Everyone knows she’s here to sing and not... rap. Which is exactly what she does on this song. The filters she puts over her voice during the rapping sections are just... gross. When she drags out certain words it hurts my ears. That and apparently multiple people have accused her of stealing their flows, though that’s really hard to say since it’s an incredibly generic rap flow. Also, she samples Gimme The Loot by Biggie Smalls, a song about robbing people. Which makes sense because if you bought Ariana’s album, you were robbed! Congrats!

But in the end, the most damning thing about this song is its lyrics. Why should I be excited about this absolute bitch having tons of money? Why should I care when she has the gall to say shit like this?

There were ten writers on this song and nobody thought of saying “hey, maybe the phrase ‘happiness is the same price as red-bottoms’ is a little fucking shallow!”

And I’m not making any judgments on Ariana’s character in real life. I’m sure she’s a perfectly nice person, but if this song was supposed to project some sense of camaraderie and a “we did it!” attitude, it fails. What it does project is a snide, rich girl looking down on you for not just buying yourself out of depression. Never write a song like this again.

Honorable Mentions

Happier - Marshmello and Bastille

I’m not gonna be the first to say every Marshmello beat sounds exactly the same, but every Marshmello beat sounds the same. I picked this one because it charted highest, but really it makes no difference which Marshmello song I pick on.

Sweet But Psycho - Ava Max

This song reads like a 12-year-old’s deviantART journal.

Drip Too Hard - Lil Baby and Gunna

Like I said, this song almost got on the list proper. It’s a slow burn. At first you feel like the beat is solid, and Lil Baby rides it decently enough, but then it keeps going and the flows never switch and Gunna basically sounds the same as Lil Baby and you begin feeling like you’re losing your mind.

Thotiana - Blueface

People kept memeing about this. I thought it’d be fun. I hate you guys.

God’s Country - Blake Shelton

Namedropping The Devil Went Down To Georgia does not make you Primus. Because you are not creative or interesting.

Trampoline - Shaed

I wouldn’t have even given this song a second thought except apparently it’s hit the alt-rock charts? Where is this rock? Like I get we’re pushing the boundaries of genre but I think the bare minimum of a rock song would be a GUITAR.

Knockin’ Boots - Luke Bryan

This song is dumb. But I’m oddly amused by how dumb it is, so it may live.

Baby - Lil Baby and DaBaby

Sometimes things sound like a good idea, and then they’re not. This didn’t even sound like a good idea and it proved to be an even worse idea. Something definitely could’ve been done with this, but Lil Baby is essentially a creative void that consumes all it sees.

Someone You Loved - Lewis Capaldi

Another song that’s too dumb for me to really get mad at. God knows, Capaldi is putting a hell of a lot of effort into something. What it is, I’m not sure, but he’s doing his best.

With those out of the way, we move onto

Number One:

You Need To Calm Down - Taylor Swift

"I AM LAID LOW BY THE HUMAN RACE. ME, AN INNOCENT WOMAN, MUST DEAL WITH ‘HATERS’ EVERY SINGLE DAY. MY HEART HAS BECOME WEAK WITH ALL OF THE UNKIND WORDS. DARE I SAY... I AM OPPRESSED?”

It’s ironic hearing Taylor Swift tell me to calm down. She hasn’t been calm for a long time. She sure as hell isn’t calm in this song. It’s basically the equivalent of someone screaming “I AM NOT ANGRY!”

Like, you’re... still mad about the snake thing? It’s been a few years now and you’re still bothered enough by an emoji that you referenced it in a song about how not-bothered you are? I mean, apparently this song (as well as ME!) is about celebrating individuality. It definitely is celebrating an individual: Taylor Swift.

I think a big theme of this year was “embarrassing”. The Git Up was embarrassing, I Don’t Care was embarrassing, but none of them are more embarrassing than this. You could probably do a list of the ten worst Taylor Swift lyrics and it’d be mostly this song. And if the lyrics aren’t terrible enough, it also blatantly copies the beat from Sunflower, the second-biggest hit of the year and a personal favorite. Like, a fellow critic remixed them together and the backing track is essentially unchanged.

And then we get to the gay stuff.

I’m not the first to point out that the underlying message of this song is pathetic at best and offensive at worst: “I have haters, and gays have haters, so we’re basically the same.” This is essentially Taylor Swift hoping she’ll get an invite to judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race.

There’s just kind of an eensy weensy problem.

Gay “haters” are like... ACTUALLY DANGEROUS.

They’re not just the goofy, protest-sign waving boomers she depicts in her music video. An internet comment is harmless. Homophobia isn’t. Homophobia leads to suicide, gets teens kicked out of their homes, causes hate crimes, it can cause incredibly serious harm. Someone sending you a fucking snake emoji isn’t the same as years and years of systematic oppression!

Does Taylor Swift have to worry about her safety when she tours in more conservative areas? Does she have to fear the possibility of losing friends and family ties when opening up about herself? Does she have to worry about letting the public see who she dates, beyond the usual celebrity drama? Do people shout slurs at her on the street? Do churches and politicians campaign against her right to marry?

Of course not.

Taylor Swift has always made everything about herself. She’s lied and been petty for years and years in her music. Imagine lying about KANYE. You don’t need to lie about fucking Kanye to make him look bad! He does it himself! She was the victim that time, and every time. But at no point until now did she stoop low enough to openly compare herself to oppressed groups because people are mean to her on the internet.

Like this isn’t even about articles or tabloids or anything, it’s about people being nasty online. The phrase “shade never made anybody less gay” is basically a crackhead way of diminishing our suffering. It’s not “shade” we’re worried about, Taylor, it’s having our fucking legal rights taken away. Your biggest worry is “haters”. Haters aren’t going to ban you from being married.

This song is phony, it’s a rip-off of a much better song that literally came out in the same year, it’s repetitive, it’s petty, and most of all, it tries to diminish the oppression of the LGBT+ community by boiling down all of our pain and suffering to simple “shade”.

I will not calm down.

Woo-ee. That was something alright. We’ll be moving onto the best list soon, if I don’t get caught up in my other quarantine activities.

#panda posts #top 10 list #worst hits of 2019 #top 10 worst hits of 2019 #worst hits #pop song review #pop music #music criticism #music review

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dreamscript · 7 years

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HEY IT ME AGAIN-- LITERALLY SAME I GOT SICK AND LIKE IM STILL COUGHING AND I WANT IT TO STOP. LIKE. RIGHT. NOW. I hope you feel better soon! I can only imagine how bad you're suffering! Make sure to get lots of rest and binge watch Naruto hehehehe// I got sick around Christmas so it's kinda just here// But yeah lol just excuse me late responses (; 7 ; ) and yas girl just embrace you're inner otaku its okay xD (i wanna re-read Naruto actually//) OMG YES PLZ I LOVE YOUR FICS AND-

{CONT} YO HOW DARE YOU WRITE THAT JUNGKOOK FIC IM SHOOKED JKSDFNKJD// LMAO IF THAT AINT ME IN ANY MATH CLASS FUKFFKFKKFKF BUT ITS OKAY YOU CAN DO IT I BELIEVE IN YOU! There was freezing rain here a day or so ago. That was fun . u . (sobs) IF YOU COULD TWEEK MY BLOG OMG ID LOVE THAT. But the theme isn’t originally mine and I’d assume the original owner wouldn’t want the original code changed?

{CONT} IDK I wanted to change my theme for a while now // Something not endless scroll but just boxes for previews? Also I wanted a minimalistic theme based with pastel colours and black and white hehe/ ANYWAY NO NO WORRIES SOMETIMES IM JUST HERE WONDERING IF YOONGI SUED BIGHIT FOR DYING HIS HAIR TOO FREQUENTLY AND NOW HE BALD (LOL) BUT YEAH APPARENTLY THEY ARE SUPPOSE TO HAVE A COMEBACK IN FEBRUARY AND MY WALLET IS UPSET. I ALSO WANT THE NEW ARMY STICK FOR NO GOOD REASON AT ALL LOL

{CONT 3 xD} I’ve only read Naruto Manga so if you wanna screech with me about that lets do it ahaha/ HECK YES I WILL READ THEIR FIC- I WILL NOT STUDY JAHAJSDSDKJF Shout out to Cat and Fae too like i seriously love their fics- your Christmas series had me shooked!! Anyways I have so much work to do and so i will bother you later :) - Sakura !

IM HEALED AND BETTER NOW THANK YOU I HOPE YOU’RE FINE NOW TOO??!?! but i remember my doctor telling me once that if you’re still coughing like a month later you should get it checked out or something D:

and oh. my. god.

naruto.

LISTEN I LITERALLY CRY EVERYTIME IT MAKES ME SO EMO. I WATCHED NARUTO THE ROAD TO NINJA MOVIE LIKE TWO NIGHTS AGO AND I CRIED LIKE A BABY WATCHING HIM INTERACT WITH HIS PARENTS AND ALL LIKE D’:: highkey still hated on sasuke though

but yeah no it’s okay! i have super late responses as of late…. and it’s really only because i’ve been too emotionally spent by the end of the day or tired or busy or just “not feeling it”

idk, but i hope to get back into being more active. i miss this place. i miss interacting with others, as little of it i seem to be doing right now (guh _ _)

LOL I HAVE SO MANY SEX SCENES ALREADY PREWRITTEN OUT FOR HTE JUNGKOOK FIC AND SO NOW THAT I’VE GOT THE HARDEST PARTS DONE, IT’S JUST DOWN TO FILLING IN THE PLOT AND SUCH. aaaand that’s kinda hard too, but i think i’ll manage. hopefully.

(help)

dude it was rainy and windy and cold today and i had to go outside and the entire time i was walking/running/dying to class i was thinking a) why b) this was a Mistake

ah well in regards to your theme, usually the theme makers are okay with minor changes (sometimes major ones too) as long as you keep the credit and the changes are for personal use (as opposed to commercial use/redistribution, etc). just to be sure, you can just check their rules. they usually have that whole page/pop up or will simply include it in their theme code.

hmm what do you mean by boxes for previews? i don’t think i’ve ever seen such as thing. it sounds interesting, though. are they previews for like posts or…?

YEAH OMG I’M REALLY EXCITED BECAUSE FEBRUARY IS BOTH MINE AND ALSO @taesthetes‘ BIRTHDAY MONTH SO ITS LIKE A BIRTHDAY PRESENT WOOHOO

thank you for loving our collaboration! i’m still amazed on how quickly we got things put together and everything… honestly… cat and @zephyoongist are so talented i don’t know what i’m doing here :’) (or where i would be without them)

and now finally…

(for the maaaain event)…

okaY OKAY I WILL SCREECH WITH YOU ABOUT NARUTO. RIGHT HERE. RIGHT NOW. just under the cut because spoilers:

I’M SUCH AN EMOTIONAL WRECK OVER NARUTO THE ONLY BEST WAY I CAN TRULY EXPRESS MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS AT THE MOMENT IS JUST THROUGH BULLET POINTS SO:

i love kakashi

i also love gaara. i can’t choose between the two, but lately i’ve been more biased towards kakashi. i blame it on my sister because she’s always had a thing for him

(i still love you gaara its okay my sand child)

kakashi’s backstory had me in tears… like… with obito died and he’s telling kakashi he’ll give him his sharingan (the sharingan that he’d always been talking about that would get him to hokage) to be his eye to see the future…

i just..

fucking broke down man like dude… stop… you’re killing me here… and then how kakashi really changes afterwards

(okay but listen child kakashi was savage as fuck though and it was hilarious)

(also i know it’s a filler but that one episode in which it showed guy and kakashi comparing dick sizes as kids….,,..,.

….,,..i wasn’t expecting that at all but i don’t mind the info heheheheh heh /dies)

OKAY BUT THEN RIN DIES WHY

literally if she hadn’t died a lot of the issues in naruto wouldn’t have occurred but they fucking did

no i’m not blaming her she died for a noble reason okay it just makes me really sad i’m sorry

AND FINALLY MINATO DIES TOO AND KAKASHI IS THE LAST OF HIS TEAM IM EMO

on a side note minato and kushina were cute as fuck

ANYWAYS GAARA OH MY OH MY GOD MY POOR BABY as a kid he was so cute and just wanted some friends and was out helping all those villagers and such but then his damned dad just had to go and screw those things up like STOP IT HE;S MY CHILD

even though i love those two, my favorites are actually the akatsuki

like. they hate each other but istg they secretly love each other like have you seen kakuzu and hidan’s interactions??? they tease and insult and threaten (and have killed) each other but kakuzu is actually patient with hidan’s rituals and such, and hidan will still accompany kakuzu to the collection centers

also, when he sees asuma’s guardian shinobi thing the first thing that comes to mind is kakuzu and how he’d want him for the money and he’s like u gh but like !!!

and AND when hidan at first thinks he’s accidentally killed kakuzu in his fight with shikamaru & co., he has that look of panic ooooh my god I JUST GASHUDFJSDIJASD

also hidan is just hilarious. like when they go to recruit him he’s like “who are you guys, all wearing the same clothes?? are you guys an orchestra or band or something?”

/points at kakuzu/ bet you play the bass

/points at konan/ bet the girl does vocals and keyboards

/points at itachi/ …or do you do vocals…?

and then the first thing hidan and kakuzu do to each other is kill each other

the look of utter disbelief on both of their faces

“what the–why aren’t you dead?”

“bitch that hurt–wait. why aren’t you dead?”

but anyways we can’t forget about itachi and kisame either, now can we?? like. they are actually like the only partner group that openly got along with each other, and they were sad oh my god they were sad upon realizing each other’s death’s

and idk just the way kisame says “itachi-san” does something to me

i t a c h i

oh boy i have so much to say about this kid

but before i move on i must! address! the others!!

okay so like deidara is actually op as fuck and sometimes idk i feel like he doesnt get enough credit?? idk.

BUT LIKE LISTEN OKAY HE GOES THREE DAYS AND THREE NIGHTS TO SEAL THE ICHIBI AKA SHUKAKU AKA GAARA’S TAILED BEAST and then immediately after decides to take on naruto (and kakashi)

AND HE ONLY HAD ONE ARM AT THE TIME HAVING JUST LOST ONE IN HIS FIGHT WITH GAARA LIKE WHAT IS THIS STAMINA AND HOW DOES HE NOT BLEED OUT THIS KID IS FUCKING AMAZING WHAT THE HELL

and he’s 19 like lol what bye

but anyways, after his “fight” he loses his other arm because kakashi and now he’s armless BUT THIS KID STILL HOLDS HIS OWN though completely on the defense AGAINST TEAM GAI LIKE WHAT THE FUCK HE’S AMAZING and then he manages to create a bomb without using any sort of handseals and fools them all into thinking he’s dead

i love this boy give him a metal why did he have to die so early why (yet another reason why i dislike sasuke lmfao)

black zetsu scares the fuck out of me (esp when i learned of his true past and intentions) but white zetsu!! he’s such a sweetie holy shit

I JUST REALLY LIKED THAT TIME WHEN HE BURSTS INTO THE 5 KAGE SUMMIT AND HE’S LIKE “HALLLLOOO!!!!!!” WITH THE ARMS AND EVERYTHING DAW OMG

and also unlike so many others he actually likes everyone and when he saves deidara he’s like “you’re a fun guy to be around” and then and then later when he’s talking to tobi he reveals that he’s sad that so many of the akatsuki members died like D::

let’s not forget when black zetsu called him weak (they had split in two at the time) and white zetsu just kind of D: and wilts a little like ooHH NO oo baby it’s okay it’s okay

ahem

konan is so strong… holy crap… like… her ultimate attack? with the bajillion paper explosive tags disguised as a lake?? that go off for 10 minutes? holy fuck.

yahiko’s pretty damn hot if you ask me (yes i know he’s a cadaver in the main time period but listen)

idk my favorite arc of the entire thing was pain’s invasion of konoha… like from the moment jiraiya’s message arrived to when everyone got revived…. and then kakashi almost became hokage…

it was fantastic

i think it’s mainly because it was a mystery, race against time, battle thing all in one and it was so neat i guess

also you could see everyone in the village working together, fighting their hardest, showing their potentials for like, the first time ever

um um um okay sasori mentally scarred me as a child, and now whenever i hear the rattling puppet noises i immediately think of these scary nightmares i had after watching his fight with sakura… yeah, puppets scare me a lot now

orochimaru is a creep ‘nuff said moving on

tobi! i love this alternate ego of obito/”madara” like idk he’s so jumpy and honestly it’s fucking hilarious watching him because he’s so secretly op certain people underestimate him at first (and then others overestimate him because of his association with akatsuki)

like. when he was warding off konoha from itachi vs sasuke’s fight (which i am still emo about) he was just like playing whack-a-mole with them and then he’s like lemme use this ability! frill-necked lizard!

and they all kinda stand and stare at him intensely execting something legit

but in reality that’s it. the extent of htat ability is just him hanging upside down with the cloack falling behind him to look like a frill-necked lizard

and it’s fucking hilarious

i also thought it was fucking adorable when he and deidara first confront sasuke

and the little bitch goes ahead and slices through him

literally through him

and HE MAKES THE MOST ADORABLE NOISE BEFORE FALLING FLAT ON HIS FACE GAH

but sasuke thinks that he actually killed him and sasuke’s all like “one down”

and deidara just kinda

ugh this kid

and tobi gets up and brushes himself off like wow that was rly fast!!! and sasuke just >:/

URM OKAY ENOUGH ABOUT THE AKATSUKI MEMBERS

sorry i thought i should make this clear but i lowkey highkey have this vendetta thing against sasuke like this little shit

i mean ofc i know the reason for his disillusionment really isn’t all his fault like @ itachi really?

like really when he goes back to konoha and sasuke tries to kill him… he goes and easily breaks his wrist

and he kinda just considers him for a moment like

…hm

how about i….. make his situation even worse…?

and then traps him in a genjutsu that forces him to relive their parents death for 24 hours like why the fuck this is literally all your fault

and also on a side note, fuck danzo. why the fuck did the 3rd not kill him when he was supposed to. why. all the wrong people lived for far too long.

anyways

but yeah no idk i just really don’t like sasuke after he defected and became a Vengeful Teen

AND ITACHI’S STORY MAKES ME CRY EVERY TIME HOLY SHIT IT MAKES ME SO SAD WHY DID THIS BOY HAVE TO SUFFER SO MUCH and then mess up his little brother’s psyche to the point in which he starts killing like everyone wtf

AHEM

another favorite moment arc of mine is the very beginning

like the first 15ish episodes

IRUKA SENSEI

he’s such a blessing. he’s literally one of those crucially important side characters and i appreciate him and i love him and it would’ve been nice to see more of him, but hey, that’s okay too.

(his part in the naruto road to ninja movie had me in tears. like at the end. fucking tears.)

like naruto and kakashi may be super close and stuff, but when he needs someone as a guardian, naruto turns to iruka and idk i feel that says a lot about their relationship and it makes me cry all the fucking time

um anyways yes i also love zabuza

he’s so strong and empowered

AND THAT WHOLE ARC MADE ME CRY A LOT TOO AND THE FACT THAT IT BECOMES SUCH AN IMPORTANT PART OF THE STORY MAKES ME SO FUCKING HAPPY

i have a lot more the say probably but it’s getting late and i need to take a shower and sleep and get up early in the morning to make food so i’ll just leave it at that

(i wrote a lot i know i’m sorry)

(hope i didn’t blow you away with any spoilers D:)

#my naruto gushing got a bit out of hand but i regret nothing #also when i say i cry #I ACTUALLY CRY #LIKE FULL ON CRYING #I NOW HAVE A BOX OF TISSUES ON MY DESK BECAUSE OF THIS #replies #love people #polarbearchan

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