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saiilorstars · 4 years

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Falling in Temptation

Ch. 14: While I'm Gone

Previous chapters • Sequel to Stars Dance • Fairy Tale Memoirs (Companion story)

Fandom: Doctor Who

Pairing: 11th Doctor x Female OC

Chapter summary: The Doctor is slowly losing his mind searching for Avalon and Melody.

Taglist: @ocfairygodmother @anotherunreadblog @maaaaarveeeeel

Lena held her sister's prized possession close to her chest. Ever since Avalon had been taken, Lena hadn't let that journal out of her sight. Avalon would want it first thing when she got back...because she would come back. It was just a matter of time.

That morning - or whatever time it was inside the TARDIS after waking up - Lena hurried towards the console room just like she had done from day 1 on their search for Avalon and Melody. And just like always, the Doctor was already in the room, working hard and fast to find a new lead on Avalon and Melody.

"Big brother, did you sleep?" Lena found herself wondering when she realized how untidy he looked. She understood that he needed way less sleep than she and the Sapling did, but he still needed some sleep.

"Yes, um, at some point...one night, can't remember! Busy!" the man was making rounds at the console, not particularly interested in conversations. These days he did a lot more talking to himself about possible clues than anything else.

Lena spotted his tweed jacket on the floor, the same spot he'd thrown it last night after getting a new lead. She and the Sapling had to get some sleep and the Doctor promised them that he would follow in a few minutes. He did not. "Big brother, nobody wants to find my sister and Melody as much as I do but you really need to get some sleep if this is going to work."

"I can sleep when I have Ava here and Melody with Amy and Rory," he said, his voice a bit snappish due to his lack of rest. He never snapped at her.

"But you can't find them if you can't think," Lena sighed. "That's why you sent me to sleep. Why don't you follow your own advice and take a few hours? I can keep looking. The Sapling should be up in a few hours too."

"I can't," the Doctor shook his head. "I followed the lead last night - it took me to the Messier 82 galaxy - and it turns out that there was a spotting of a woman with an eyepatch in one of the black markets. I went, but guess what!? It was a fake! It was a costume! What a waste of time! So now I'm back to zero! I cannot sleep!"

Lena looked at the journal in her arms. If Avalon could see him now, she would definitely slap him. She valued health over everything, even when she was the one who needed the help. "Avalon wouldn't want you to be like this. She wants you to rest."

"Lena! Are you going to help or not?" he snapped again.

"Yeah, I guess so," Lena came up to the console with a sigh. "So, where exactly are we?"

"Like I said: back to zero!"

"Okay," Lena nodded, trying to be the one to think rationally since she had all her hours of sleep. "Well, you said that Kovarian probably took Melody back to Earth in the past. But to find her would be dangerous because of Avalon's existence so we need to focus on Avalon first. We find her, she can tell us where Melody is and we can pick the right moment to take her without endangering Avalon's life." That was far easier said than done.

They'd spent weeks searching for Melody on Earth, but the Doctor ultimately called it off because of the danger they were putting on Avalon's life. The fact that she was Melody's daughter meant that they had be very careful choosing at what point to bring Melody back to her parents. Instead, they switched gears and focused on Avalon. The idea was that Avalon would know precisely where Melody was and they could extract the baby before she was raised on Earth. River had told him that in order for Avalon to continue existing, she needed to attend some university in the 51st century. The Doctor could arrange for young Melody to do that, no problem, but then he also started wondering if that was all that Melody needed to keep the timelines going? As he stated a while back, maybe the reason Melody did what she did at college, made the choices that she made, was because of her life on Earth. It was all a huge headache.

But one thing for sure, the one thing that River Song herself agreed upon, was that the Doctor needed to find Avalon first. She would never forgive him if he chose to search for Melody over Avalon. That made the Doctor feel a little less guilty about his decision when talking it out with Amy and Rory. He wasn't abandoning the search for Melody just because.

But finding Avalon was no more easy than finding Melody. It was like she had vanished into thin air. It terrified the Doctor wondering what they were doing to Avalon if she wasn't outside somewhere. If she was being kept inside, was she tied up? Was she being tortured? There was another part telling him that perhaps she'd been absorbed into their plans and was being trained like Melody, brainwashed no doubt. Repeated brainwashing could permanently damage the mind. If she was being trained to kill him - him - then she would be getting an extensive course. Everything Melody was meant to learn over the course of her life was being crammed into Avalon for the right day and time.

When his thoughts got too dark, even for him, the Doctor did everything he could to shake them off and focus on just finding her. If he found her, then all that could be avoided. "I don't know, I don't know..." he rubbed his eyes tiredly. He had thought of all the possible places that he knew of but Avalon wasn't there. She was never seen.

"Big brother," Lena gently placed a hand on his arm. The Doctor dropped his hands from his face and glanced at Lena, showcasing the heavy guilt that'd permanently become part of his features. Lena rubbed his arm comfortingly. "Take a moment to breathe. Let's think about this, right? If they separated Avalon and Melody, and Melody's on Earth, then wouldn't that mean Avalon is basically on standby? Where could she stay if she was on standby?"

"Well," the Doctor took in a deep breath and focused on the facts they had about Kovarian's style. "They gave Melody absolute independence on Earth, but they were always watching her. If Avalon is following the same plan, then she has to be living the same thing."

"Right, except they wouldn't give her complete independence because she could run away."

"No, they would have to alter her..." the Doctor was very careful with what he said about what Kovarian might be doing to Avalon. Lena didn't need the images he had in his head. "They would have to change something," he settled for the neutral words instead. Her brain. They would have to change something in there to keep Avalon at bay, because Avalon Reynolds was not a woman you could keep at bay so easily. Her terrible temper made her a force to be reckoned with. That's where the brainwashing came in, he imagined. If they changed Avalon's thoughts, she would function just like they wanted her to.

"So then where they would keep her after that?" asked Lena.

"Don't know," the Doctor's eyes found the controls as a new thought popped into his head. "But I bet that whatever they're using they had to have bought it somewhere."

"We're going to the Black Markets, aren't we?" Lena guessed considering the dark nature of Kovarian.

The Doctor nodded. "To as many as we can."

~ 0 ~

3 Weeks after Demons Run.

The tears wouldn't stop falling from Avalon's eyes. She felt like a child constantly having to rub the tears off her face only for new ones to take their place seconds later.

River Song was her mother, River Song.

It didn't make sense. Yes, she knew she was adopted but never in her life did she consider that River might be the woman who gave her up? All those times that she'd bumped into River and the woman never said anything. She acted as if there was nothing bonding them together, blood. It infuriated Avalon all over again. River just paraded through social events, making sure everybody knew who she was and yet the one person that should've been the first to learn her name was the person River chose to abandon and then ignore.

Avalon's eyes fell to the pictures Kovarian had left her with.

"A gift," the woman had smugly said after returning Avalon to her room. She'd let the pile fall to the floor, sprawling around Avalon.

She had been very thorough proving to Avalon that River was Melody and her mother. She had brought Avalon to a room where they played several videos of River confirming that she was her mother. The best one, according to Kovarian, was the video they'd retrieved from Demons Run. River had explained who she was to everyone after the Silence took Avalon. There was no room for doubt.

Now Avalon was left with a series of pictures of River at her finest moments, all of which were her in a compromising illegal act. It was Kovarian's way of showing Avalon that her mother wasn't someone she should try to protect so much. It was a way for Avalon to hate her and willingly work for the Silence. After all, why would she want to protect her mother when she abandoned her?

Even if Avalon didn't want to give Kovarian the satisfaction of being right, Avalon couldn't help the anger that flourished each time she thought about River.

She abandoned me. She didn't want me..

The woman galavanted throughout the galaxies, doing whatever the hell she wanted, and she never once came to see her. River knew where she lived, where she was, and she never did anything. Avalon could understand that being in prison complicated things but River never seemed to mind the fact she was incarcerated. She was always up and ready for an adventure. So why would River leave her with someone else to raise?

Because she probably cramped River's style.

Avalon knew that she was a nobody. She had lived in boring old Leadworth and the only exciting thing about her was meeting the Doctor. She didn't have a penny to her name and she certainly didn't astounding qualities. River probably thought she was boring. How could she tell the world that she had given birth to a boring daughter?

Fresh tears stung her eyes. Avalon let out a fierce growl. Her hands found the closest picture and tore it into pieces. "How could you!?" her hand then swiped away any picture nearby, wanting nothing to do with them. "I hate you!"

Let River keep doing her own thing! She didn't need her. She'd done just fine without her for 22 years after all. If River didn't want her then Avalon wouldn't want her either.

The only mother she recognized was Emmalina Reynolds. Enmalina had protected her and loved her. She had been there to hug her when she was scared, to kiss her 'owies' when she'd fallen, to read bedtime stories to her each night. Emmalina had given Avalon her first journal to write in because she knew from the start what Avalon wanted to be when she grew up. Emmalina knew that before Avalon knew it. That's what a mother was like. She knew things that her child wouldn't know until much later. Emmalina had been there when River had been god knew where.

Avalon picked up another picture and studied it until she saw the last detail. River was dressed fashionably, almost like the first time Avalon met her back at the Byzantium, and was conversing with some woman. River held a beautiful sapphire blue jewel that no doubt had been priceless. The setting was an elegant party, judging by the decorations. Even the chandelier was big enough to be caught on the picture and it was made of diamonds. It seemed like a party Avalon would've loved to have gone to.

But where was she? At home, in Leadworth, on Earth. She'd been light years away from her mother and River didn't look the least bit upset by the matter.

Avalon's face scrunched as her hands gripped the corners of the picture. She yanked the two sides in the opposite direction and felt a dark satisfaction when she heard the picture tearing. Her gaze fell to the remaining pictures and before she knew it, she'd began to grab each of them and tore them until they were nothing but confetti on the ground.

But once there was nothing left, Avalon still couldn't get rid of the heavy pain in her chest. She wanted to scream and cry. Cry for everything that had gone wrong in her life, from the very moment she was born. Her shoulders slumped. The dark anger subsided for a moment to give way for her hear to break all over again.

Her vision blurred with all the tears in her eyes. My own mother didn't want me, what hope do I have? If her own mother didn't want her, how could she expect for anyone else to want her?

Would the Doctor even come for her? He never liked River to begin with and if he knew that she was River's daughter...would he hate her too? The mere thought terrified Avalon.

~0~

The Sapling was was quietly going through an album in the TARDIS library. Despite his insistence to help find his mother, his father and aunt Lena told him there was nothing for him to do right now. They had to start out by mapping the possible locations Avalon could be. But even when they visited most of those locations, there wasn't a job for him to actually help. Why? Because they hadn't actually found Avalon, nor Melody. They weren't in any of the locations.

It infuriated all three that they were no closer to finding either girl. The Sapling felt a tingling sensation each time he underwent a new episode of fury. He suspected it was his powers trying to manifest again and the only reason he worked hard to keep them within was because he wanted to use them on the woman who took Avalon and Melody.

But for now, the Sapling was resigned to wait. They needed to wait for anything significant to pop up so they could start the search again. It was why he was in the library, passing the time with the only thing he could: by going through his mother's photo albums. She had gone over them extensively because he had asked her to. Now he was going through them again, alone, and really missing his mother.

Lena had appeared at the doorway and yanked the Doctor to her side. "See!?" she was very careful to whisper so that the Sapling wouldn't hear them. "Poor thing's been locked in here for days. I try to get him to come out to eat something but he refuses."

"I don't blame him," the Doctor whispered as he took a peek inside the library. The Sapling was on the couch with the photo album on his lap. He spotted Avalon's journal sitting on the coffee table in front of the Sapling. "You let him have the journal?" he gave a questionable glance at Lena. She hadn't let go of that journal since she stepped into the TARDIS.

Lena's expression was sympathetic. "He misses his Mum." She motioned him to go to the Sapling. "I think you should spend some time with him."

The Doctor would want nothing more than that - well, perhaps spend time with him and Avalon would be better - but his attention had to be on the search. "I left the console to track the black markets selling the specific software Kovarian would need to use on Avalon. I have to be there if anything comes up."

"I can be there," Lena assured him. "If anything does come up, I'll give you a call."

"Lena," the Doctor sighed and shook his head. "I don't...I don't even know what to tell the Sapling. I mean, I told him that I would find his mother and I have yet to follow through. It's been almost a month and I've got nothing."

"He knows that you're searching hard. Right now, I think you just need to be there with him, like a Dad." Lena bumped his side encouragingly. "Just talk."

The Doctor seemed lost for another option. "But you'll be at the console, right?" Lena nodded. "And you'll call if anything comes up?"

"Of course I will," Lena reassured him that she wouldn't leave the console until he got back. With that, the Doctor truly had no choice but go on inside the library.

The Sapling hadn't noticed him initially. He was focused on a picture of Avalon with her brother, Gavin, in a park. They were both attempting to climb a tree but had stopped to pose for the picture.

"Even as a child your mother looks like a troublemaker," the Doctor came around and took a seat next to the Sapling. The Sapling cracked a smile as they both studied the photograph.

A fifteen year old Avalon was smirking at the camera. She might have done something previous to the picture and no one but her would know about it.

The Sapling agreed. "Yeah. Have you found her yet?"

The smile on the Doctor's face was quick to fall. He shook his head in shame. "I haven't yet. But I will."

"I'm scared, Father," the Sapling admitted, not that it was a news for the Doctor. "That woman was a very mean woman who hurt aunt Amy and her baby. What if she's hurting Mother right now?"

The Doctor closed his eyes for a second. He had thought about that so many times, with thorough images, that it left his body shaking each time. Kovarian was not merciful and because she wanted him dead, she would stop at nothing to make sure both Melody and Avalon were thoroughly skilled.

He wondered how many times Avalon had screamed in terror and pain since she'd been taken. How many times had she cried? How much time had it been for her? A week? A month? Years? His hearts ached thinking Avalon had spent years with Kovarian, just like Melody. She was waiting for him to find her and he hadn't been able to track a single clue of where she could be.

"I don't know what they're doing to her right now, but I promise you that we will get her back," the Doctor promised on his lives. The Sapling believed him. He always did.

"Why did they take Mother away, anyways? And baby Melody? They didn't do anything wrong."

Another hard question the Doctor wanted to avoid. "They didn't, of course they didn't," he first agreed. "They...these people that took them, they don't like me very much. They want to hurt me..."

"And they took Mother and Melody because of that?"

The Doctor nodded silently. Even though the Sapling was a child, he could easily read the guilt on the Doctor's face.

"It's not your fault," he said. "Mother would tell you that too."

"Yeah, she would." A brief smile appeared on the Doctor's face as he thought about Avalon's reaction. She would no doubt call him an idiot for believing that but then she would give him one of her warm hugs. He would then indulge himself by believing her for a moment.

"Do you love, Mother?" the Sapling suddenly questioned. Even though it was done in a gentle child's voice, it snapped the Doctor out of his thoughts in a second.

"Wh-what? I don't...what?" the stammering was a natural response given the heavy weight of the question. The Doctor's face went a deep red in the seconds that followed.

The Sapling just smiled. "I just wonder if my parents love each other. Melody's parents love each other."

"Sapling, uh, Amy and Rory have been married a good while now. Your mother and I...it's, uh, very complicated." And that was still an understatement. At times, he wanted Avalon right next to him so he could dote on her and show her anything she wanted; he was at her beck and call. But other times...he wanted to lock her in a room so he would leave her alone at least for five minutes. She would frustrate him to no end and having an argument with her was sure to end with both of them screaming at the top of their lungs. It was a strange feeling - as he hadn't had that type of relationship with anyone else - but he knew that even during those moments he still wanted her. He would still want to kiss her and hold her. He liked her, a lot, that was past news but to say 'love'...maybe not right now. But you are getting there, he made the startling conclusion. He visibly gulped. That was certainly new.

"Maybe...maybe not right now..." he whispered and swallowed down the lump in his throat. He would have to think back on those thoughts another time, preferably when Avalon wasn't in danger.

"For now," the Sapling said matter of factly as he flipped to the next page of the album. "You gave Mother that journal," he nodded to Avalon's journal on the table. "Uncle Rory gave aunt Amy a ring because he loved her. That's what humans do, but you're not very normal."

"Oh, thanks," the Doctor rolled his eyes. That sounded completely like Avalon.

The Sapling smiled widely. "You gave Mother a journal that never runs out of pages. She wants to write - you gave her the ultimate present. If you don't love her yet, you will soon. And I know that Mother will too."

The Doctor inwardly sighed. The last thing he needed was for that to get around. No doubt Kovarian already had an insight to his feelings towards Avalon. It fueled the game even more, putting Avalon right in the middle of it.

~0~

1 Month after Demons Run.

"Why am I here again?" Avalon asked as a female doctor bound her wrists to the metal chair she was forced to sit on. She was back in the room with the screen that originally showed Avalon who her mother was. She didn't want to be there again - actually, she didn't want to be anywhere near Kovarian.

"Because we need to start your conditioning," Kovarian gave the female doctor a nod when Avalon was secured to the chair.

"My what?" Avalon blinked when she saw the female doctor coming back with electric pads in hand. "Why-why are you carrying those? What are you doing?" she frantically asked but the woman started attaching them to her skin without saying a word. Avalon's head craned to see Kovarian watching with satisfaction. "What are you going to do with me!?"

"Same thing we did to Melody. Of course with her, we didn't really use ECT. We just embedded the ideas from the start. I'm making the right adjustments to your conditioning."

"N-n-n-n-no! Get these off me right now!" Avalon resorted to pushing her wrists against the metal cuffs keeping her strapped in.

"Oh don't bother," Kovarian laughed and came up to Avalon. "We know very well about your strength - you get that from your mother - and we have accounted for everything. There is no getting out of this."

Avalon glared, her face scrunching slightly as her anger rose. "What are you going to do?" she flinched when the female doctor attached the last two pads to her temples.

"You seem to cling onto the Doctor more than anyone else, even your grandmother, so we need to change that. Dr. Lefevre here, will conduct the electric shocks at my order and by the time we're done here..." Kovarian came to lean very close to Avalon, allowing her to notice the light freckles on Kovarian's face, "After we're done here, you're going to associate the Doctor with pain."

Gulping came on instinct, but Avalon still endeavored to prove that she wouldn't be an easy victim. "I won't fall for it. I got news for you, lady, my brain's all messed up anyways. And you know what? The Doctor might hate me because of who I am but I won't ever hurt him. I'd rather die first."

Kovarian dramatically groaned as she straightened up and turned away from Avalon. "This idolizing him has got to stop! You don't understand the danger he's putting us in with his existence! But don't worry," she spun around back to Avalon, expressing as if Avalon had done something wrong that she could fix for her. "I see the truth and I'm going to help you see it too. Dr. Lefevre?"

Lefevre nodded again and walked out of the room. Avalon shut her eyes thinking the first wave of electric shocks was about to hit her but instead the screen projector came to life and the room's lights went off.

"Let's start," Kovarian smiled maniacally as she came to stand beside Avalon's chair.

~ 0 ~

1 Month and a week after Demons Run.

"No, more, no more, please," Avalon's voice was too strained to make a proper plead. Her body felt like soup. Yes, that was a feeling she thought wasn't possible until now. She felt like she was floating but couldn't really move her arms nor legs. They were the noodles.

"But this is only 2005 now," Kovarian promised but she had promised that last week when this first started.

"Don't you...get it?" Avalon struggled to breath normally. "If you keep...doing this...I won't m...make it."

"Oh don't worry, that's where your regenerative cycle comes in. If your body truly does expire then you'll just regenerate and we can continue where we left off!"

Avalon felt like she could cry there and then. Regeneration? She didn't even want to think about such a thing. Her body dying? Now that she knew she could, she wondered how the hell the Doctor could do that so easily and not get stuck on the fact he had to die to get a new body.

"I'm going to...die...and...I don't even know how...to survive," Avalon coughed aggressively but Kovarian didn't seem perturbed.

"Lefevre, next!" she gave the order for the screen to switch again.

The next series of pictures shown were the aftermath of a famous battle Avalon once heard of but never had the full details. Along with pictures, Kovarian had also included videos for better representation.

"Cybermen..." Avalon recognized the terrible metal robots marching down a street. "What...what is this?" her eyes widened when the screen switched to show her Daleks flying in the air.

"This is the Battle of Canary Wharf, one of the biggest slaughters of the human race," Kovarian explained, although her tone didn't exactly portray regret. She was angry as hell but it was directed at one man instead of the fact that people died "And who was at the center of it? The Doctor. Have you seen the list of the dead?"

"Have you?" Avalon challenged.

Kovarian knew what she was trying to do and smiled. "My anger is not misplaced. This battle was specifically tailored to the Doctor because it originated from Torchwood. I believe you're familiar with the organization? Queen Victoria was like me. She saw the true danger the Doctor posed for the humans. She created Torchwood as a means to put an end to the man. But in the end, he put an end to it. People died at the hands of the Daleks and Cybermen. His own companion was thrown into a different universe. And that set the course for an even bigger battle that threatened the very existence of the universes."

New tears filled Avalon's eyes as she was forced to see the catastrophic aftermath. Streets were in ruins. Cars had exploded into fire. Several buildings were either half or completely destroyed. But there were so many corpses on the ground. everywhere.

"You didn't know that, did you?" Kovarian watches the tears rolling down Avalon's face. The ginger said nothing, but there was a clear fear etching across her features. "Lefevre!" Kovarian gave a hard yell.

The electric pads sent a riveting shock through Avalon's body. She screamed and wailed for them to stop. Each shock was worse than the last. It was as of everything inside her was on fire and there was no putting it out until Kovarian took pity on her.

When it was over, Avalon's body went limp against her chair. Her eyes wanted to close but she fought to keep them at least half open.

"Pain," Kovarian repeated just as she did each time the shocks were done. "That is what the Doctor is. Pain, destruction, and we have to end him."

However she could, Avalon glared but her mouth was temporarily unavailable. Kovarian knew this. Each time the shocks were over, Avalon would grow weaker against it. She would either die or she would finally start succumbing to effects.

"This is for your own good, for all of us," Kovarian moved around the chair so that she stood in front of Avalon. "I've seen the future and do you know what? I don't think you should even try to defend him. From where I stand, he's already replaced you and your little family." While Avalon couldn't say anything then, she still glared again. "And you've seen it too," Kovarian turned enough to gesture at the screen that was still showing the last pictures of the Canary Wharf battle. "It's a known fact that each time the Doctor faces a big battle, he leaves the companions behind. The one in that battle got lost in another world, and then the next one? Lefevre!"

The screen suddenly switched to a dark-skinned woman wearing a formal UNIT uniform. Avalon squinted her eyes to try and focus on the name tag the woman was wearing.

"Dr. Martha Jones walked the Earth for a year that none of us can remember to fight yet another Time Lord the Doctor was responsible for. The human nearly got killed and guess what happened? The Doctor -" Kovarian's voice took on a hard tone as she looked back at Avalon, "-moved on. And that bit of the woman? Did you know that there was a year completely lost? The Doctor erased a whole year that was full of blood thanks to him and his little Time Lord friend. No one can remember it. Only the Silence could, of course. They're useful like that. Bet the Doctor didn't tell you that, did he?"

Avalon didn't want to look so stunned but...she couldn't help it. What did she mean there was a whole year that none of them can remember? There were no stories about that, not even of Martha Jones fighting in it. The Doctor didn't say a word about it.

"And then the 27 planets that were stolen?" Kovarian yelled for Lefevre to switch pictures. "Oh, there were so many deaths that night. I believe this is where the Doctor moved on from yet another companion after sincerely - how do you humans say it? - screwing her over. Wiped her memories, the whole thing!" she made a quick gesture to the sides of her head.

Avalon's eyes narrowed the moment she thought about Donna Noble. She deeply regretted throwing that in the Doctor's face. That had to be one of the most terrible things he was forced to do. "Accident..." she managed to say. In talking, she got the taste of metal...making her realize there was a bit of blood in her mouth.

Kovarian mocked her with a laugh. "Oh, of course. And do you even know why it was possible for the worlds to be moved? Because that little companion from 2005 was able to cross worlds. The Doctor created a companion so dangerous that she literally broke the walls of the universe. If that doesn't prove how dangerous he is, I don't know what will!"

"N-not his...fault!" Avalon spat and felt bits of blood oozing from the corner of her mouth. It wasn't the Doctor's fault the choices his companions took.

"But it is," Kovarian turned right around to face Avalon. "The next one after that is you and your family. But guess what?" her face morphed into a mocking pout. "It won't last long either. Because I know for a fact that eventually the Doctor will move on from the Ponds. All of you." She made it pretty clear that really did mean everyone which, against her best efforts not to believe it, did sprinkle a bit of fear in Avalon.

Would the Doctor really move on from her too?

You did hurt him, she reminded herself. He has every right to drop you off too.

"And the next companion after you all is the one," Kovarian made sure to express her true hatred for whatever poor soul came next in line. "She's the one that brings the Doctor to the place where he will descend destruction on us."

"Then...kill...her," Avalon found herself saying. She didn't know who was meant to come into the TARDIS in the future but she didn't want the Doctor anywhere near a place that was meant to be a battle zone.

Kovarian feigned a sigh. "But she's a tricky one. I don't know the mechanics. Plus, if I kill her off then somebody else will inevitably bring the Doctor to that place. No, I have to go directly to the source, to the origin. Here. The Doctor has to die here, in this point of time."

Avalon swallowed hard when she got memories of Lake Silencio. But then she realized something...she couldn't remember everything. She started blinking fast the more she thought in vain. "I-I can't...I can't remember...Lake Silencio...what's-what's going on?"

There was a satisfied smirk playing on Kovarian's face. "Oh, the ECT is finally kicking in. The more we do this, the more fragile your brain becomes and once it's fragile enough we can start."

~ 0 ~

2 Months after Demon's Run

"STOP! JUST STOP!" Avalon screamed and wailed, her eyes screwing shut yet snapping open each second like a pattern. Her body twisted and writhed each time she felt a burning prick. "Please...just stop!" Her sobs echoed throughout the crystal clean room but none of the people inside would listen to her.

Two people held her body down, pinning her arms and legs against the metal table. When her skin made contact with the cool metal, she hissed. Her body was so susceptible to radical temperatures right now thanks to the series of tests Kovarian was running on her.

First, it'd been the insomnia test. They deprived Avalon of sleep for God knows what reason, but she was so tired. She'd always had trouble going to sleep but right now she would kill for an hour where she could just doze off. And once they figured out that Avalon could stay a minimum of four days awake, they moved onto to an expanded form of the test. Kovarian wouldn't settle for the simple 'let's see how long you can stay up', no. She would purposely change the temperature, leave Avalon in the dark and if Avalon dared to fall asleep, Kovarian would shock her. It was a piercing electricity that Avalon swore would make her body explode if the tests kept going.

And then they moved onto the injuries. How much could Avalon's body take?

They first started with simple cuts that Avalon would hiss and yell at them to stop. But things escalated. Cuts turned into full-fledged gashes where Avalon would physically want to pass out from how much blood she was losing. She swore that in one of those, somebody had actually touched her bones and organs.

Then Kovarian wanted to see what temperatures Avalon could withstand.

A blazing hot room was Avalon's home for a week. She had never craved water so much in her life. She did pass out a few times but then came the freezing cold. No matter how much she begged for them to stop or to at least give her a blanket, she was left in the ice cold room for another week. There were only intervals with regular temperature just so that she wouldn't die.

And now here she was for the latest test. Something about regeneration. The gashes would return and now they expected for her to heal herself but she didn't know how! How could she access energy that she didn't even know she carried!? And when she proved useless, Kovarian ordered for her people to carve into Avalon's body to examine that energy. One way or another, they would have that energy.

So there was Avalon, desperately crying for somebody to help her. Her right arm felt like it would fall off if she felt another burning cut. She turned her head to the left and blinked fast to get her sight cleared up. A woman was looking down at her behind a pair of glasses.

"Please...just stop...just...for a moment..." Avalon's voice was hoarse from all the screaming and the prior exams. "I...beg you..."

The woman paid her no attention. She just held Avalon's arm tightly and watched the exam continue.

Avalon honestly wished she was dead at this point. Nothing could be worse than what she was living. If she was lucky, they wouldn't find what they were looking for and they would just kill her.

~ 0 ~

2 Months after Demons Run

"Uh, no Dad, we...haven't found her yet," Lena wanted to speak as quietly as possible while talking to her father but it was impossible when she was forced to stay in the console with the Doctor's so very good hearing. She wanted to leave each time her father called to know their status on the search, but the Doctor wouldn't have it. He had made a promise to find Avalon and Melody and he wasn't living up to it.

It was like he was punishing himself by forcing himself to hear the disappointment in Lena's voice when she told her father that nothing changed. They were still completely lost.

With a sigh, Lena ended the call with her father. She didn't have to explain to the Doctor what it was about. "He just says he believes in you."

The Doctor let out a noise indicating his lack of faith in himself. He kept himself at the console, his fingers tiredly working through the controls.

"He knows you'll find her, though. He has no doubt about it," Lena kept insisting. "He says-" but she was interrupted by an alarm from the console. She was quick to react with wide eyes. "Is that-"

"-a clue!" the Doctor lunged for the side of the console that was giving off the alarm. He found new energy that sped him up through the process of discovering what the alarm was for.

"Well, what is it!?" Lena anxiously waited for him to say something.

"Don't know, it's...um, somebody's calling me from a Black Market in..." the Doctor leaned closer to the monitor, "It's a Black Market in the Black Eye Galaxy."

"The what now?" Lena blinked, but the Doctor didn't pay attention to her confusion. All he knew was that there was finally a possible clue of where Avalon was.

"Baby sister, you're gonna want to hang onto something! SAPLING!" his voice roared through the room. They had a new place to get to quick!

~ 0 ~

3 Months After Demon's Run

Three shots fired consecutively, each hitting of their intended targets.

Avalon swallowed roughly when she lowered her weapon and saw she'd gotten three more straight in a row. She blinked several times as she found she was unable to remember when she was ordered to fire. Her eyes swept over the room as if this were the first time she saw it.

It was huge and barely furnished. The only light coming through was from three small windows above. Avalon realized the room was underground, like a basement. Across of her were three dummies with bullets embedded mostly in the chest. She looked down at herself and could not for the life of her remember how she got into an oversized white blouse and skinny white pants. Even her hair was forced back into a messy low bun. Many of her curls - which were untamed and frizzy from lack of attention - were hanging around her face like curtains.

"How does this keep happening?" she whispered to herself, but she was never alone.

"Again," the Silence with her commanded.

Avalon swallowed hard and turned her head to the right where the ugly lone Silence stood. Her hand shakily moved up to her dry hair. "B-but I-I r-remember you. I can't rememb-b-ber a lot but I k-keep remembering you. How are you doing that?"

The Silence left a moment of silence pass by, as if it were actually constructing an explanation to Avalon's questions. Finally, it cocked its head to the side and answered, "Shoot again."

"No!" Avalon took aim on the Silence again, albeit her shaky arms didn't exactly cause fear. Half the time she didn't know if what she was seeing was a hallucination from everything she'd gone through, or if things really were as bad as they were.

"Oh put the weapon down, child," Kovarian ordered as she appeared in the room. "You do this every time." She was not phased when Avalon turned the gun on her. "As you do that."

"I don't understand, I-I remember things but it's in pieces," Avalon's hand curled tightly around the gun. "My b-bbrain...it hurts..." she brought her free hand to her massive curls and pulled on them in frustration. "Everything's all jumbled up..." her voice cracked in the end, confirming she was truly all over the place. She was losing control over her own thoughts. Her body would jerk suddenly, very often, thanks to the electric shocks. Her skin was dry, making it so easy to get cuts and bruises. And it showed.

Kovarian was proud of her newest experiment. It was working marvelously. It was easier to push Avalon and to control her. Now she wanted to give Avalon the ultimate test, the test that would prove if they'd successfully conditioned her.

"We're going out on a little trip," she announced, not that Avalon seemed to be paying attention. The woman had retreated a few steps and was mumbling words to herself, a nursery rhyme. "Yoo hoo! Anybody home?" Kovarian laughed at her own joke. "Bring her along," she ordered the Silence and turned to leave.

~0~

Avalon wouldn't recognize where they brought her, nor would she know how to get out. The entire place was covered in taverns. It seemed like was night underneath. Everybody looked suspicious, but everyone seemed to fear them - not her but the woman with her - and didn't want anything to do with them.

"You walk far too slow," Kovarian remarked as she studied every movement of Avalon's. Her walking would definitely have to improve. It looked like Avalon was dragging her feet. "And you're not examining your parameters. An enemy can easily take you down right now."

"T-tired..." Avalon said, too weary to say much more. "Why...am I-I here?"

"Because I want you to walk to the end of this line and back," Kovarian responded and a few seconds later came to a stop.

"What?" Avalon thought her hearing might be going too.

"Walk till the end of this aisle and back," Kovarian repeated. "Simple task."

"But why-" Avalon was cut off midsentence when Kovarian pulled out a gun on her.

"I don't explain my orders, child. I give the command and you follow them," she said with a dark tone that had started to seed fear in Avalon. She'd already gotten a taste of it with the ECT.

Avalon closed her eyes. She didn't want to remember that horrible week. She could still feel the electric shocks making her body tremble, and usually her body would shake and jerk. She just wanted it all to stop.

"Go! Before I shoot you and we both find out how strong your regenerative cycle is." Kovarian motioned with her gun for Avalon to start talking.

Avalon lowered her head and turned in the direction she'd been pointed to. In another moment, she would have probably been ecstatic to visit a real life Black Market. This is the place where all of the fun toys were at. But right now, anyone there could easily kill her with a lift of a finger. She couldn't fight anymore, she couldn't snap anymore, she couldn't think properly. She was just so tired, so incredibly tired, both physically and mentally. It was honestly sad how easily she broke. All those times where she thought she was strong was just a lie. She was weak.

Her feet started taking small steps forwards. At the very least if she walked away she would get a few minutes away from Kovarian and the Silence. That sounded nice.

But you'll have to go back, she reminded herself. It returned the fear in seconds.

She would have to go back, back to the torture, back to the nonstop 'training'. She didn't know how much more she could take, honestly. If she didn't die from exhaustion, she might just go crazy from all the memory blocks. If she was being honest, she didn't even remember what she did yesterday. For all she knew, she might have seen the Doctor yesterday.

Her feet came to an automatic stop. Would she forget something like that? Her hand found the Doctor's watch on her wrist, the very same watch she'd won in a bet a year ago. The Doctor swore she had cheated but he still gave up his favorite watch. She knew that if he wanted to, he would've just taken it back or never really had given it up in the first place, but he never did. He allowed her to keep it.

Now maybe you can give it back, came a pondering thought. Her eyes widened for a second as a genuine idea came to mind. It was probably the only coherent thought she'd had in a while. She looked over her shoulder and could barely see Kovarian which meant that Kovarian could barely see her.

Do it, the voice told her.

Avalon found the farthest stall in the aisle and dashed for it. It was an odd run, really, as it seemed like a combination of a hobble and a sprint. Her feet were a bit funny lately, but if she did things right she might finally get some rest (and the good kind not the dead type).

"What do you want?" barked the man in charge of the stall. He seemed human enough until Avalon realized he was a slimy green with spikes sticking up from his head. That probably made for some interesting business.

"I-I-I have..." Avalon involuntarily lost her voice for a second. All her words were trying to come out at the same time.

"I don't understand! Are you going to buy something!?" the man snapped.

Avalon quickly nodded her head. "Y-you're about to have the business deal of your life. You know the Doctor?" It was a stupid question given the man's reputation.

The man sneered. "That idiot who takes it upon himself to say what's right or wrong?"

"That's the one! Y-y-you want to owe him a favor?"

The man, despite his obvious dislike for the Doctor, arched a slightly thicker green eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that if you g-g-give him th-this..." Avalon couldn't seem to get the watch off her as fast as possible, "You'll b-be doing him a huge f-favor and you'll h-have one of the most powerful p-people owing you one."

The man scrutinized the watch in her hand with obvious distrust. "Over a simple watch? You trying to have me?"

"I-I swear I'm n-not. This is h-his watch and I'm s-s-someone he's looking for. A-Avalon Reynolds. Tell him that n-name and y-you'll see how fast he comes." She was truly counting on it. At least one more time.

"And if not?"

"Then you just got yourself a nice watch you can probably tweak to hide something you don't want others to see." Avalon tried her best not to seen as nervous as she truly was. This could work only if the man followed through and if Kovarian didn't catch her.

"What did you say your name was?" the man was eyeing her appearance, as if committing her to memory.

She looked like an outright mess. Her clothes were disheveled. Her skin was poorly kept and the chapped cracks were beginning to show. She had a few bruises along her arms, decorating the healing stitches that looked pretty fresh. Every so often she would shake, just like her shaky voice and stuttering words. Her eyes had bangs under them, ugly purple bags. Her hair was in a low pony tail, but most of her curls were popping out in various directions. And the constant stammering was plain annoying.

"U-um, Avalon..." Avalon brought a hand up to scratch her cheek. She seemed like she would close her eyes to think about something, but once again her body jerked and she dropped her arms to her side.

"Wait a second," the man suddenly blinked as if he'd just realized something. "The Doctor was said to be collecting debts for a battle. He took several of my customers away. You're with the Silence, aren't you? The Kovarian chapter? I heard all about that. They took that baby. Pretty stupid if you asked me, picking a fight with him. But hey..." the man seemed to be making the connections based on Avalon's teary face. "Oh, you couldn't be...?"

Avalon's eyes filled with tears in that one second. "P-please," she resorted to begging. "D-Don't tell anyone a-a-anything. Just...just get the Doctor. If I g-get out, he'll owe y-you s-s-something."

"Really?" the man raised an eyebrow as he watched Avalon hold the watch. Her hand was trembling to the point of nearly dropping the watch. He was no idiot. She was scared out of her mind and with good reason. He had heard all about the stupid woman who decided to kidnap one of the Doctor's companions, along with their child, and now he had the glorious opportunity to force the Doctor's hand?

That was simply too good of a deal to pass up.

He snatched the watch off Avalon's hand, noticing the woman flinch in the process, and bared his yellow pointy teeth at her. "You got a deal."

Avalon was in disbelief that it actually worked. "R-really?"

"Oh yeah, I can't wait to see the Doctor's face when I force his hand," he eyed the watch now in his possession with newfound fondness. He knew the power he held.

Avalon swallowed hard. How mad would the Doctor be once he learned that she basically let someone borrow him? Hopefully he'd still help her in the end. "C-c-can I...leave a-a m-messsage?" she made a gesture as if she was writing something in the air.

"Oh alright," the man rolled his eyes and retrieved a scrap of paper and pen. However she could, she scribbled a quick message - though from where the man stood, it didn't seem like a message. It was more chicken scratch than anything. She could barely hold the pen as it was.

"Could you...b-break...break..." Avalon tapped the glass of the watch. Her strength wasn't for that anymore. The man once again rolled his eyes and shattered the glass of the clock. Avalon quickly took the watch into her hands and pushed in the crumpled paper inside. "Th-there..."

The man snatched the watch before she could say goodbye to it. It was the last piece of the Doctor she had, so she really hoped giving it away would be worth it. Otherwise, she'd just be completely alone now.

"Now scram!" the man roared and laughed when Avalon turned to run away. She truly was a scared little thing.

When Avalon made it back to Kovarian, she was exhausted. It was a struggle to catch her breath, as if she'd ran a whole marathon.

But Kovarian just smiled upon her work. From her perspective, Avalon had passed the test. She'd given Avalon the opportunity to run away, but she didn't. She came right back just like she was ordered to.

The conditioning was well on its way.

~0~

The TARDIS landed right where the signal had come through, not a minute too late. She was just as motivated to find Avalon and Melody as everyone else. After all, the two women were a part of her too.

"You're sure we're not late or anything?" Lena questioned while the Doctor did a quick surveillance on the monitor of the Black Market they were in.

"Of course. The TARDIS knows the danger Ava and Melody are in. She wants them back as much as we do, don't you old girl?" the TARDIS gave an affirmative hum. The Doctor continued to work until a new thought crossed his mind. "You know, I guess I now understand why you always liked Avalon so much."

Lena smiled when the TARDIS seemed to hum another 'yes'.

"You know she chose Avalon straightaway?" the Doctor glanced at Lena, feigning a pout. "First night your sister stepped in, the TARDIS was willing to let Ava take her for a ride." Lena laughed when the TARDIS hummed what could only be an 'of course'.

"Are we there now!?" the Sapling came running down the stairs. "Is Mother here!?"

"Ah, not yet sure," the Doctor said once he got back to work. For the most part, the market just seemed to be like any other market.

"So, what was the signal you got?" Lena inched closer to his side to catch whatever was on the monitor.

"Somebody's trying to send a message," the Doctor mumbled as he worked to decipher that precise message. "Psychic connection, you see. Trying to send it through the TARDIS. Ah! Here we are!"

The screen turned black for a moment. Particles were arranging to form letters.

'Avalon Reynolds. Watch.'

That certainly got the trio silent.

"Who sent that, big brother?" Lena found her voice a few minutes later.

"I-I don't know exactly," the Doctor dove to the keyboard to figure that out. His fingers wouldn't work fast enough for him. "S-somebody wanted to get my attention though because they sent it directly to me."

"Then we should go!" the Sapling darted for the doors when the Doctor ordered him to stop. "But why?"

"Because that is a Black Market and you are a child. I don't know who sent that message but they wanted me here," the Doctor strode towards the doors, making sure to usher the Sapling in the opposite direction. "Lena, survey the entire Market for any trace of Avalon."

"On it," Lena nodded. "But what are you gonna do? What if it's a trap?"

"Then at least you and the Sapling will be here to call for back up. River Song's on the dialing list!"

"I'm sure she is," Lena chuckled as she took position by the console.

The Doctor turned for the doors and straightened his jacket. "Let's do this." He pushed the doors open and walked out.

He started down the long aisle of stalls, making sure to scour each stall for any red hair or eye patch. If Avalon was here, he was not leaving without her. And if this was a trick, then pity the fool who was behind it. He was in no mood for jokes and the entire galaxies knew it.

Eventually, he found an icky, slimy green man giving him a funny eye. The Doctor first made sure that the green man was actually looking at him before walking over to his stall. "You wouldn't happen to know if anyone around sent a psychic message to say, oh, a blue box?"

The green man made no attempt to hide his glee. "That'd be me. Doctor, I presume?" the Doctor gave a brief nod, now eyeing the man up and down. "Your different than the appearance description I had of you. Course that was years ago."

"You sent the message?"

"Why yes I did." The man suddenly raised the Doctor's old watch in the air and had a good laugh pulling it away after the Doctor lunged for it. "So it's true then. It is yours and you are very determined to get it back."

The Doctor glowered at the man who's chest practically rumbled with laughter. "You have 10 seconds to tell me where you got that from."

"Oh no, no," the man waved a finger, showing off a bright yellow nail that matched the yellow shade of his teeth. "This is valuable. And don't deny it because I know it."

"Where'd you get it from?" the Doctor's tone was dangerously low.

The man smirked proudly. "Some girl gave it to me. Promised me it was valuable and what do you know? She's right."

"What. Girl?"

"Oh, you want to know what she looked like?" the man lowered the watch for a moment as he pretended to think about it, or as if he had to remember. "Well, to be honest with yah, she wasn't looking all that good. Skin looked ready to crack. She's human, ain't she? That's how humans get when they're, uh, what do you call it? Dehydrated? Or no, wait, dry? I don't remember-"

The Doctor lost it and yanked the man over the counter by his slimy green collars. "You have exactly 0.5 seconds to tell me where the hell you got the watch from."

"Or what? I know your stories, you don't do weapons," the man grinned far too confident.

"Let me put it to you straight: the girl I'm looking for is somebody I will do anything for. I'll throw you into a blackhole right now if you don't start telling me the story. And if you think you just got me to deal with? You got another thing coming. You know River Song?"

The man snorted with heavy distaste. "Blasted woman destroyed my stock in the Celeste Black Market."

"The girl is her daughter. You really want to have me and her on your bad list?" the Doctor wasn't comfortable using that truth for his gain but River told him use anything as his disposal to find Avalon. He would apologize for that later. It'd gotten him some information beforehand so it was definitely useful.

"You're kidding," the man laughed. "That girl is her daughter? Well, I guess that's probably where she got her bargaining her skills from. Sneaky little thing."

The Doctor unceremoniously shook the man. "You get River Song as a treat for being extra disgusting. She takes care of your Black Market stocks and I-" he pulled the man slightly closer to his face, "-will take care of you, personally." There was a sweet, dark smile spreading across his face that promised true horrors.

The man had the good sense to gulp. "F-fine! The girl said her name was Avalon Reynolds. Said if I gave you the watch you would owe me a favor. Some friend you got there, bargaining you off for her own personal gain."

The Doctor let the man go without warning - ignoring the slump noise when the man fell over the counter - and took his watch. He inspected it for any other clue Avalon might have left behind for him. He didn't have to look much since the very first thing he saw was the missing glass. There was a small paper crumpled inside.

"Left that for yah," the man muttered once he'd gotten himself off the counter. "She could barely write, though. Kept shaking and one of her fingers had cuts on them."

The Doctor tried not to picture that image. How scared must she be? I need to be faster. He unfolded the paper and quickly read the few lines Avalon had written.

Brainwashing me. I don't know how long I can keep my sanity, literally.

They keep moving me. It's always in dark places.

Melody's on Earth somewhere. They took her away from me 3 months ago.

I'm sorry.

Three months ago. The Doctor found it incredibly hard to stay on his feet right then. It'd been 3 months for Avalon. Three months that she'd spent with Kovarian under God knew what tortures. His hand gripped the watch tightly between his fingers.

"This is all she left behind?" he scrutinized the man for any clue that he might be holding back.

"Yeah. She didn't look like she could say much more; looked very sick. But you owe me, Doctor. That was the deal the girl promised me. I gave you what she wanted."

"Yeah, except you didn't hold her here," the Doctor stuffed the watch and the paper in his jacket's inside pocket. "Then I would've owed you something."

The man was outraged he'd been lied to. "You can't do that! If you don't uphold the end of the bargain I'll-"

"No, you really won't," the Doctor pulled out his sonic and aimed it at the shelves holding jars of glowing liquids. When the sonic was activated, each of the jars exploded like dominoes. The man screamed at the sight of his ruined products but the Doctor didn't flinch with either noise. He only watched as each jar shattered and splattered the stall. "Use this a message to everyone else: if they see Kovarian, the Silence, or Avalon Reynolds, they better call me or I'll come for them and destroy everything that's precious to them. That's a Time Lord's promise." He took off and allowed himself to relish in the man's suffering just for a bit. Or maybe for a long moment. Because if word got out that he would make anyone suffer should they not follow his instructions, he could get Avalon back quicker. And besides, anyone who hurt Avalon deserved to be terrified and to suffer in pain.

#ocappreciation #doctor who #11th doctor #dw imagine #11th doctor fics #11th doctor imagine #dw fics #doctor who fics #doctor who ocs #oc: Avalon Reynolds #fic: falling in temptation

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mca-attack21 · 5 years

Text

The Choice

This is slightly based of the episode Amy’s Choice without Amy or Rory. The ending is sad, but it needed to happen, so I won’t apologize. I hope you enjoy.

You were at your home sitting on your couch, closing your laptop as you finished off some work. Standing up, you stretched and went into the kitchen to make dinner. You paused, taking a moment to glance at the pictures on your wall. They were from yours and the Doctor’s travels. You missed it sometimes, but you were happy here. It was relieving not to constantly be fighting just to stay alive. It had been about two years now. He stopped by sometimes to check in or to pull you along on the occasional adventure. And that was enough, it had to be after what had happened.

You put on some music and started to make dinner. You always made dinner for two just in case he would pop in unexpectedly. You set the table for two and then waited for the food to finish cooking. You were happily surprised to hear the TARDIS outside your window. You all but ran to the door, opening it just before he could begin to knock. “Doctor!” you exclaimed as you pulled him into a hug.

“Y/n!” he replied just as giddy. “How have you been?”

“Good, you’re just in time for dinner. Join me?” you asked as you gestured for him to come in.

“I suppose, if it’s no trouble?” he answered.

“None at all, I already have a place set for you,” you smiled back at him.

“But you didn’t know I was coming, why would you set me a place?” he asked.

“I always do,” you answered. This caught him off guard, he had forgotten how at home you had been able to make him feel.

“I see you’ve added more photos” he commented as he walked through the halls to your dining room.

“Yeah, from our last couple of adventures. I got them printed last month.” you reply as you carry the last of the food to the table. “I hope this is okay, I’ve never seen you eat much. So I don’t really know what it is you like. I mean if you don’t like it I can also make something diff-”

“Y/n, this looks amazing. Thank you” he said cutting you off. You smile and sit down and the two of you divvy out the food, exchanging some small talk. He was about to start eating when his head started to become foggy. “Y/n, what is that noise?” he asked.

“It’s just a back track, it’s supposed to be relaxing. Doctor- are you alright?” you asked.

“Yeah, my head’s just a bit. Oh…what were you” he said before nodding off.

You got out of your chair to check on him, but fell to the ground unconscious.

You woke up in your bedroom in the TARDIS, you just had the most peculiar dream. You went out to the console room to check in on the Doctor and see what he was up to. He ran to you as you came into sight “Oh, you’re here. That’s brilliant, I had a nightmare. But it’s okay now. Just a dream. You’re safe now, that’s what counts. I’ve never dropped off like that. Never. I’m getting on a bit. Now, what’s wrong with the console? Red blinking lights, let’s start there.” he rambled as he started looking over his precious TARDIS.

“Doctor, I also had a sort of a dream thing. Not a nightmare. But a dream more vivid than anything I’ve ever had before.” you explain getting his attention.

“What happened in this dream?” he asked scanning you with his sonic screwdriver.

“I was home, but it was in the future. We weren’t traveling together anymore. I made dinner and then you came over. And we started eating-” you recalled before being cut off.

“We were eating a grand meal that you had prepared. You were worried that I wouldn’t like it, but it was brilliant” he finished.

“Yeah, how did you know?” you asked stepping back from him.

“I had the same exact dream” he answered.

“But you said you had a nightmare?” you questioned.

“Did I say that? I didn’t mean nightmare. It was a good mare?” he tried, “Anyways, if we had the same dream it means we both had some sort of psychic episode. We probably just jumped a time track or something.” he continued turning his attention back to the TARDIS.

“Doctor, if everything is back to normal then why can I hear the back track again?” you asked before you blacked out again.

You awoke on the ground of your apartment. “Woah, I must be overdoing it. I blacked out and thought I was back on the TARDIS.” you laughed making your way to your feet.

“We were back on the TARDIS. And we thought this was a dream” the Doctor stated.

“You had the same dream? Wait weren’t we just talking about this? You said it was because of a time jump or something.” you asked trying to understand what was going on here.

“Listen to me very carefully Y/n, trust nothing. From now on trust nothing you see, feel, or hear.” he said looking around for anything that didn’t fit in.

“But we are awake now?” you asked.

“Yeah, but we thought we were awake in the TARDIS.”

“But we are at home?” you ask still trying to understand the situation.

“Yes you are. But which is which? Are we flashing forwards or backwards?” he asked, “Hold on tight, this is going to be a tricky one” he spoke as the darkness took over again.

“This is bad. I don’t like this” he exclaimed kicking the TARDIS’ console and grunting in pain, “Life lesson, never use force as you will only embarrass yourself. Unless you are cross, in which case always use force”

“Shall I run and get the manual?” you asked trying to be helpful.

“Can’t, I threw it in a supernova.” he answered.

“What in heaven’s name would possess you to do such a thing?” you asked trying to keep up with him.

“I disagreed with it” he shouted back at you frustrated, “Stop talking to me when I’m cross”

“So the TARDIS malfunctioning is what is causing us to dream about the future?” you asked.

“If that is the dream. But we could be there dreaming this up. Don’t you understand?” he answered.

“Not really? This is real. Isn’t it?” you tried, but your head was spinning.

“Y/n, listen to me. This feels real when we are here. The other world feels real when we are there.You can’t know you are in a dream while you are in the dream. You can’t trust anything. You have to find the things that don’t line up. Anything that isn’t normal.” he answered starting to tinker on the TARDIS.

“Well I’m in a spaceship which is bigger on the inside that travels through time and space with an alien who wears bow ties. So I am sorry if I am having a little trouble identifying what is abnormal about this situation” you huffed.

“Y/n listen, I’m going to get us out of this. You just have to trust me.” he answered softening his voice as he realized for the first time how scared you were. As he was trying to figure out where exactly the two of you were the power went off in the TARDIS.

“Doctor?” you called.

He reemerged from underneath the console and looked around. “It’s dead. We are in a dead time machine.” he stated in disbelief. The back track started to play again loudly. “Remember how real this feels. When we wake up remember-”

“Doctor- I think this is the real one. The TARDIS can’t just die? She’s parked outside now and this is the future. We couldn’t have a future if we die there.” you explain as you come to.

“But that’s the point. What if that is where we truly are and we are dreaming of a future. So this doesn’t exist. That TARDIS is part of the dream as is every aspect of this reality.” he answered waving his hands around looking for motion blur or some sign of pixelation to prove this was not real. He took your hand and lead you to the street. It was empty. “Is it always this calm?” he asked.

“Well it is dinner time. Plus you know, I like the quiet. After everything…” you answered.

“We have to stop doing this” The Doctor said as the two of you woke up in the TARDIS.

“It’s so cold in here” you said rubbing your arms at the drastic temperature change.

“The heating's off.” he answered before continuing to mumble to himself, “Heat’s off. Sensor’s off. Core Power is off. We are Drifting. And I can’t even figure out where.”

“Doctor- how can I help?” you asked.

“That’s just the thing, you can’t. Someone-Something is overriding my controls. And I can’t do a thing about it!” he growled.

Suddenly, a man appeared out of thin air, “Took you long enough to figure that out. Honestly I had heard such good things. ‘Last of the Time Lords’, ‘Earth’s Great Defender’ , ‘ the Oncoming Storm’ Gotta say, a little bit of a let down.” he spoke walking towards you and the Doctor.

“How did you get in my TARDIS?” the Doctor asked in disbelief, “What are you?”

“Let’s see. If you are a Timelord, let’s call me a Dreamlord.” he said as he continued towards you, “Ah Y/n, the Doctor’s last companion. Sorry to suck you up in all of this, but the Doctor needed a little motivation.” he answered reaching his hand out to touch your face before the Doctor swatted it away.

“I think I’ll do the talking from here on out. Good that. So you manipulate dreams and delusions. Why?”

“I don’t just manipulate dreams, I create them. And I've seen all of yours. I’ve seen some of yours twice Y/n. I would blush but I don’t exactly have a blood supply or a real face” he answered making you very uncomfortable.

“Listen hear” the Doctor interrupted as the Dreamlord teleported to the front of the TARDIS.

“Here is the challenge. Two worlds: one is real one is a dream. Is this real? Or is the future real? Only I know for sure. You two will have to pick one. To make it more interesting, I’m going to put you in time crunching life or death situations in both of them. If you die in the dream you wake up in reality. If you die in the reality, you die.” he explains before snapping his fingers and causing the back track to sound, “Time to sleep, or are you waking up?”

The Doctor struggled harder this time trying to fight off the dream, but it was no use. The two of you woke up in the middle of the street. “I don’t know what he was talking about. Nothing deadly or dangerous ever happens here.” you piped up.

“Y/n. There were children playing in that park and the parents. What happened to them?” the Doctor asked walking over to the scene. But in the place of the children were piles of ash. He took out his sonic screwdriver fearing the worst. They had been disintegrated and there were very few things powerful enough to manage that. He looked around for the cause. But was cut off-

“It’s even colder now” you said as you tried not to shake.

“Why does it matter if it’s cold? We have to figure out why this is happening. What happened to all of those people!” he raised his voice. When his eyes met yours he grounded himself, rubbing his tired eyes, “I’m sorry Y/n, I forget that you are human sometimes. There are warm clothes and blankets in the room across from yours. Go get warm. I’ll figure this out.” he said apologetically.

You left without saying a word. This was too much- all of it was too much. You had never seen the Doctor so hostile. Especially towards you. You quickly rummaged through the closet pulling out a hat, gloves, and a coat. You put them on and wrapped yourself in a blanket grabbing an extra one for the Doctor.

You walked back and threw the blanket over his shoulders. He thanked you as he continued tinkering on the TARDIS. He managed to get the shields to go up so he could figure out where the two of you were. You were headed towards a cold star. This meant that it was not simply a heating malfunction, the two of you were literally freezing to death. That was your deadly challenge in this dream.

“So this is the dream? Stars can’t burn cold can they?” you ask rubbing your arms under the blanket.

“I don’t know. It wouldn’t surprise me if they could. Just because I haven’t seen it before doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. But I’m not risking our lives on that chance” he explained weighing the odds in his head.

“There was an old doctor from Gallifrey. He knew he couldn’t save the day. Instead he would throw his life away. He let his friend down and-” the Dreamlord said as he popped in the room before the back track played again.

The Doctor glanced around before seeing an elderly man on a bench. “Sir- did you see what happened here?” he asked. “Sir?” he questioned again. “Y/n have you seen this man before?” he asked you in a whisper. “No, never. “ you answered. The man opened his mouth and shot out a toxin. The Doctor had just managed to push the two of you out of the way in time. “Run!” he yelled as he headed back to your house, the old man following behind you.

The two of you made it and bolted your door. With some struggle you managed to move a bookshelf in front of it hoping that it would buy you some time. “Let’s see we are both having the sames dreams at the same time. We are able to interact with each other. There has to be something I’m missing. I’m sure there is a dream giveaway or a tell. But my mind isn’t working because this life is so dull. I’m slowing down like you have.” he rambled obnoxiously trying to figure out his next move.

“Shut up” you yelled back at him, “You don’t get to talk to me like that. Not after what you did. You don’t get to. Not now, Not ever. Got it?”

The Doctor was caught off guard. You had NEVER yelled at him before. Ever. He looked at you in disbelief before mumbling a quiet, “Got it, sorry.”

He was going to apologize fully. He’d never realized- But before he could get a chance to do anything else the back track played and you woke back up in the TARDIS.

“Ah- It’s colder” you said as you wrapped yourself back up in your blanket. The Doctor sat down beside you and put his blanket around the two of you.

“We have to decide together right now which is the dream. We have to decide which battle to lose now. So we have a chance to make it out of this.”

“Okay, which do you think is the dream?” you ask.

“I dunno. The science here is off. But the universe is huge so it is very possible this is real. And the other one seemed normal. But is normal actually normal?” he asked glancing at his watch. 9 minutes until you would impact the star which meant the two of you had more like 5 minutes before you would freeze to death. “What are your thoughts?” he asked.

“I think that this one is real” you answered.

“Why? Why do you think this one is real? I wish we could divide up. And then we could have a presence in each world. But the Dreamlord keeps switching everything. Why? Where is the logic?” he said pacing back and forth.

“That’s a brilliant idea. I’ll split the two of you up so I can have a lovely chat with Y/n here. Maybe I’ll keep her and you can go back to being alone. Should you figure out which reality is which” the Dreamlord said as he appeared in between you and the Doctor.

“If you lay a hand on her, I swear I will- Y/n- I” he tried before falling on the ground unconscious.

He hit the ground in frustration as he found that you were still unconscious. He then noticed that the man was starting to bust down the door. “Quick- we have to go” the Doctor said as he hoisted you up and carried you to the back door.

But there were more of them now. Your house had been surrounded. “Upstairs then” he said as he heard glass shattering behind him. He carried you to your bed room and sat you down barricading the door again. At this point he was just trying to buy some time. You had said that this was the dream, but how did you know. And what if you were right and when he died here he woke up in reality, without you?

Meanwhile:

“Poor Y/n. He always leaves you doesn’t he? He never apologizes. Never stops to consider your feelings.”

“He doesn’t have to” you say defensively.

“That’s good. Because he never will. You are just a means to an end. Look now, he’s left you with me. Spooky old, not to be trusted me. And I could do anything I want.” he said reappearing right next to you.

“Who are you and why are you doing this? The Doctor knows you. He hasn’t told me yet. But he always does. It takes a while sometimes, but he always does. So why are you any different?” you ask standing up and facing him.

“Oh. Is that who you think you are? The one companion the Doctor trusts completely?” he asks sourly.

“Yes, actually I do” you reply not breaking eye contact.

“You are the one girl he tells everything. He’s told you about Rose? What about Donna? Has he told you about Gallifrey and his glorious family. He told you that he killed all of the Timelords including his own children, his own grandchildren. He has done unspeakable things Y/n, has he told you about them?” he bellowed.

You were speechless. He had mentioned his past companions and occasionally spoke of Gallifrey but you had never really thought about what it meant that he was last of the Timelords. The Dreamlord spoke again breaking the silence, “If you really know him Y/n, then tell me, what is his real name?”

He disappeared and reappeared by the Doctor’s unconscious body which you had since covered with all of the spare blankets you could find. “Tell me Y/n, what is real? Do you stay with him and let him ruin you, or do you get out? It’s your decision. He will follow you either way. So what is real? He’s waiting for you. Your time is up, got to make a choice.” he said snapping and causing you to fall next to the Doctor.

You gasped looking around, “How did I get up here?” you asked looking to the Doctor.

“I-I carried you.” he answered glad to have you back with him.

“What are we going to do?” you asked hearing the banging on the door.

“I don’t know. At this point I have no idea which is real” he answered.

“Okay so we have a fifty-fifty shot.” you note head spinning, “We die here and we wake up in the TARDIS.” you sat standing up and walking towards the door.

“Or we just die!” the Doctor said grabbing your arm before you did anything rash.

“This is the dream. I know it.” you say looking him in the eyes.

“But how are you so sure?” he asked.

“Because-” you hesitated, “Because I love you, and I wouldn’t be able to leave you. I would not be able to be happy without you. This life would never be enough. So I know that this has to be the dream. Because if it is real I don’t want it. I could never want it. I would rather die” you answer avoiding his eyes.

He was shocked by your answer. He had never known that you- he’s thought about it. But-

“Do you trust me?” you ask.

“Always.” he answered and allowed you to open the door. He watched as you disintegrated. And then faced the same fate final thoughts hoping you were right.

You opened your eyes and were back in the TARDIS. It was too cold. You could barely move. You saw the Doctor’s eyes opened and were filled with relief. You had made the right choice. He reached out for your hand and held it.

“So you chose this world. Well done, you got it right. And with only seconds left. Fair is fair. Let’s warm you up.” The Dreamlord said as he turned the TARDIS back on. “I hope the two of you enjoyed your little fictions. They were both so revealing. They came straight out of your imaginations, so I’ll leave you to make of that what you will. I have been defeated so I will withdraw. Farewell.” he said before disappearing.

“Y/n- stay down. It’ll take you longer to recover from the cold.” The Doctor said as he piled his blankets on top of you.

“And what is it you are doing?” you asked.

“Me? I’m going to blow up the TARDIS.” he said nonchalantly.

“Come again?” you reply.

“That was too easy. The Dreamlord was too helpful. He was making us chose between dream and reality. But he has no power over the real world. He was offering us a choice between two dreams. Nightmares actually. He just made them really believable” he said as he continued turning knobs.

You forced yourself to your feet woozily. “But how do you know?” you question.

“Because I know who he is. Do you trust me?” he asked.

“Always” you answered.

The Doctor had pushed the last button and you were met by a blinding light as the TARDIS exploded. It was all over in an instant.

When you woke up, you were in your room. You didn’t move at first just trying to work through everything that had happened. The Dreamlord’s words were running through your head. You didn’t want to face the Doctor. Not yet, not after everything you had been through. But then you thought about everything he had been through too. Last. Of. The. Timelords. That title was much heavier now, and it would forever serve as a reminder that he needed you.

You finally mustered up the courage to exit your room. “Awe you’re up!” he said as you entered the console room. “Look what I found. This is a spec of psychic pollen. It must have been drifting around the TARDIS for ages. It finally made its way to the time rotor, heated up, and induced a dream state the two of us.” he explained.

“So that was the Dreamlord?” you asked.

“No. Wasn’t it obvious? The Dreamlord was me. You see the pollen latches on to a mind and feeds on what it finds in the deepest darkest corners. It gives the darkness a voice and uses it against you. I’m 907, it had a lot to go on.” he answered.

“Why didn’t it feed off of me?” you question.

“It did, well in part. That is how it developed dreams that were relevant to the both of us. You just didn’t have much for it to feed on. Your clean. I pick my companions very carefully. Otherwise I am stuck in my own company and you know how that works out.” he explained.

“You don’t actually believe the things he said, do you?” you asked hesitantly.

He looked away closing his eyes he would not have this conversation. Not now, and not with you. He couldn’t risk losing you, if you found out the truth.

“So where to now?” he asked pepping back up and trying to change the subject.

“Doctor come here” you said as lead him away from the console room and down the halls of the TARDIS. You took him inside your room and had him sit on your bed. You sat in your desk chair blocking the door.

“Y/n, what is this all about?” he asked with a smile on his face.

“I am going to say something and you are going to listen even if it is hard to hear. Especially if it is hard for you to hear. Because you need to hear it, and I need to say it” you explain. He simply nodded.

“I am sorry Doctor. You have so much sadness, anger, and guilt that you carry around with you all of the time. You have decided to take the entire universe and put it on your shoulders, taking every loss personally. You have went through so much, and you do it alone because you don’t think that you deserve to be loved after what you have done-” your started.

“Y/n, you really don’t have to do this” he tried already struggling to keep up his facade.

“I do. Because you deserve to know that it is okay to forgive yourself. What you did on Gallifrey. It was horrible- you were forced to make an impossible choice. A choice that no one should ever had to make. But you did it. You lost everything in order to save the universe.” you continued though the Doctor was now crying.

“There is nothing I will ever be able to say to make that pain go away. I can’t to pretend to understand the things you have lost. The darkness that you have spent so long running from. I would trade anything in the world to save you from carrying that. What I can do is tell you that you don’t have to keep acting like everything is okay all the time. I am here for you. The entire universe is here for you. You are loved so deeply by so many. You don’t have to tell us your story, we won’t pry. But if you ever need someone to talk to we are here for you. You matter Doctor. Everything you do matters. You have made the universe a better place just by being a part of it.” you said trying to steady your voice as you watch the strongest man you have ever met break down in front of you.

You walk over and pull him into your arms. “You are extraordinary. You have been through so much, but you let it make you kind. I am so proud of you and everything you are. It has been a true privilege just to know you. So hear me now. I need you to know that you never have to face it alone. It doesn’t matter whether it’s me or someone else. You will always have someone. You just have to ask”

There was more you could say, so much more. And what you said was not enough, it would never be enough. But it was a start and he needed to hear it. Your trip through his mind today had proven that. For now, you just sat there and held him, hoping that something you had said had helped even a little. He deserved the absolute best this world had to offer. He deserved to be happy. You just had to find a way to get him to start to forgive himself.

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