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hihello-pinky · 2 years

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Liar

Miya Atsumu x AFAB! Reader

angst? hurt no comfort

as you see i am back from the dead only to post some angst at 2AM lololol feel free to drop requests!! also, reblogs would be appreciated!!

It is almost like an established fact that the thing Atsumu Miya excels at the most is playing volleyball. After all, he’s the setter in the starting lineup of MSBY, one of the top teams among the professional volleyball players.

However, the blonde setter has a secret, a secret that only he knows. Volleyball is not the best thing that he does.

Lying is.

Ever since that day, spewing out lies has become second nature to him already.

He’s okay.

No, he doesn’t need to unload his feelings to Osamu.

He’s happy.

He’s fine.

His life is at its best point, almost perfect.

And the biggest lie of them all: he does not miss you.

It’s been about five months since the break up already, and Atsumu is adamant about lying to himself that he does not regret breaking your heart. It was bound to happen, anyway. You were both chasing after different dreams: him becoming a professional athlete, and you to travel the world and meet different kinds of people.

Despite the difference in ambition, you were both hardheaded and stubborn that you fought for your relationship. You both tried your best to make the relationship work.

Until Atsumu got tired.

He knew you noticed his change in demeanor and he was secretly glad, hoping you would initiate the break up. But you never did, continuing to turn a blind eye to the fragile rope holding your relationship together. And Atsumu would have tolerated it just for the sake of having a companion; he was willing to put up with the strange relationship for who knows how long.

If it weren’t for Yena.

She was the sister of a new teammate; a tall, raven-haired girl whose presence demands to be acknowledged in any space she occupies. It was easy for Atsumu to become bewitched by the girl and after a few weeks of friendly conversations and time spent together, he felt the spark that had been gone from your relationship beginning to come back to him, in the presence of another woman.

He instantly knew what had to be done. So, the night of that date where he and Yena almost kissed, he went home to you and told you that he wanted to break up. It’s pathetic, how you tried to put up a fight, saying bullshit things about making the relationship work, but Atsumu’s mind was already on Yena, excited about the prospect of a new relationship.

The following day, he moved out of your shared apartment, saying a barely-heard goodbye at the doorway, and never looking back.

The following week, he began to officially date Yena.

The following month, she broke up with him for the reason that she wasn’t really looking for commitment.

Coincidentally, the day counting app on his phone that he never got to delete notified him of your 1460th day together. It would have been your fourth dating anniversary.

That’s when the reality of what he had thrown away sunk into Atsumu. The realization was like a drum of ice cold water poured onto him.That’s when he began lying to himself.

He’s okay.

He’s fine.

He’s not missing you.

He’s not regretting leaving you.

He’s happy being single.

He totally does not care about you anymore.

The lies he’d been feeding his mind for the past months kept on repeating. Over and over again. Sometimes in different orders. A broken mantra for a broken man.

Someone bumping behind him breaks him out of his reverie and suddenly, he’s back inside the coffee shop where you two first met. On his day offs, he would usually find his feet bringing them there.

He definitely wasn’t hoping to see you.

“Sorry,” he murmurs to the person behind him on the line, turning around to bow in apology when he notices someone enter the shop.

Blush-colored flats. A pastel dress. Off-white cardigan. Wavy hair tied up in a messy bun.

You looked so pretty that he gasps, his body already making his way towards you wihtout second thoughts.

“Y/N.”

You look up in surprise, widened eyes quickly relaxes after blinking. “Hey, Atsumu.”

“Hi.”

A smile, which he knows you only wear when you’re trying to be polite, makes its way onto your lips. “How are you?”

The simple question almost makes him choke, a flurry of confessions wanting to burst out of him. He tries to pick apart the thoughts, finding the right one to say first.

But in the end, he chooses to do what he does best.

Lie.

Atsumu gives you a small smile and despite knowing you can easily tell whenever he tells a lie, he answers your question. “I’m fine.”

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hannybkpop · 3 years

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Dancing Dreams

Chapter 1

(I would love some feedback especially since i decided to start writing again, I will also be working on re-writing My Han Fanfiction and making it better, Thank you)

Synopsis ..... As a 20yr old born and raised in Busan South korea, you finally moved forward in your life and managed to Join The Best Dance company out there. You make Friends you could never forget and so many memories you will cherish in your life. Your love Life will blossom and the sturggles of life will finally reach its peak. Will you manage to get through it or get overwhelmed by evrything and everyone ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was an early Monday morning, the sun rays were shinning through the cracks in your curtains perfectly lighting your face. "its too early for any of this" you groan and turn over to the other side where the sun dont shine. "Y/N get up youre going to be late!" your mom yelled at you from the kitchen. You turn back around and sluggishly sit up right, criss-cross apple sauce still half asleep and slouching forward. "Thats right" you thought to yourself, "Todays the first day of my dance class" you check your phone and time reads 7:34am. You get up and start making your way to the bathroom still dragging your feet, but you couldnt help but feel butterflies in your stomach. you make your way to the bathroom and brush your teeth, then your face and you apply lotion " you cant forget to take care of your face" you say as you laugh. You walk towards your closet wondering what to wear. your closet was full of black and white, not really any other color because brights just wasnt your thing. you decide to go with some black sweats, a white crop top and some white Filas. you decide to keep your hair down, kinda wavy and grab a hair tie for later. you head down stair and you can hear the sizzling of possibly bacon or sausage and the smell of toast. Your mom had breakfast ready for you, two eggs over easy just the way yiu love em, two strips bacon and some white toast. " Thank you, if you wouldnt have made me breakfast i would have gone on coffee for the whole day" you say wiith a moutful of toast. You tend to live off of coffee, not a day goes by without it. once you finished eating, you grab your keys and head out "Bye mom, ill see you later" you say as you turn around and wave good-bye.

You hop in your car, plug in your phone and start listening to some of your favorite tunes. The first song that plays is Enhypens Given-taken "Wake up in day one, cheonnare achim jomyeongin bichweo taeyange nunbit" you sing, using your vocal chords to their full extent. Next played Aespas- Next level which lead to ITZYs Mafia. You pull up to a starbucks and lower your music, "Hello welcome to starbucks, what can i get started for you today?" The employee asks cheerfully this morning. "Hello can i get a Venti Iced caramel macchiato with 2 extra shots of espresso and extra caramel" It was your go to drink, just the perfect amount of espresso and caramel mixed together. "Of course, is that going to be all for today?" she asked, "Yes ma'am, thank you" she tells you the price and you pull up the window, you grab your drink and head off straight for the dance studio. A couple more songs played through, you jammed out to Nct, Exo, A.C.E, Oneus and so many other groups and then you finally arrived. Your heartbeat accelarated slightly just at the thought that you finally get to start your dance classes.

When you were just ten years old you found k-pop, it was music you had never listened to but your curiosity got the best of you. From finding TVXQ you were slowly dragged down the K-pop hole but it was possibly the best thing that had ever happened to you. From then on 3yrs went by, you were finally 13 and you thought to yourself that you wanted to be a dancer and that someday you would be a back up dancer or a choreographer for the idols you look up to. You asked your mom to sign you up for dance classes , she agreed and signed you up for modern dancing, from then on you moved on to hip-hop, contemporate and breakdancing which was honestly possibly the hardest to learn, who knew breakdancing could make you feel like you could break yourself in a heart beat. And thats how you got here, you auditioned to join Dream Team dance studio, one of the hardest to pass and yet you managed to make it through, but the price for this dance class was pretty high so you also planned on getting a part time job.

You finally turned off your car and started heading towards the building, since you were still new here you had to follow sign procedures and which classes you would be available for and suited for. You headed towards what seemed to be the front desk but didnt see anyone there. "Hello?" you called out, and then a girl peeked her head out the corner of her office "Hello sorry i didnt hear you walk in" she said very sweetly " what can i do for you today?". You open your bag and pull out the paperwork you had to fill out Prior to your first day "Oh, i am new here and today is going to be my first day starting my dance classes" you hand her the papers and she goes through, she tells you to give her a quick minute and she walks back to the office, she comes back with a lanyard and keycard attached " Welcome to DT, Heres your badge" she hands the item over to you and you seemed kinda confused " oh, sorry let me explain. So we do get certain people who come thorugh to practice at times and we use this badge so that any unwanted personal dont just barge through wihtout permission. we really do want our dancers to feel safe and comfortable in this enviroment" its like she read your expression. So many questions came to mind of who could possibly come to this studio, Idols seems to cross your mind but you just push it away because it only happens ever so rarely. "Thank you so much, ill make sure not to lose this", you start to head towards the doors and turn around because it totally slipped your mind to ask what room your class was in. “im sorry, but what room will i be heading to?” you ask. “ oh, right i guess we forgot, you will be headed to floor 7 room c” - she chuckles. You start to make your way back to the double doors then you hear her say " if you lose the badge, its a $100 fee to replace it", You grab the badge tighter knowing that thats alot of money just to replace it. You excitedly scan your badge and make your way through the double doors, as soon as you walk through you see a cafeteria to your right and a mini market to your left. You walk towards the cafeteria and see that they also have a cafe in the corner. “oh hell yeah, i can grab myself some coffee anytime i want now’” you think to yourself as you sip on your starbucks. You turn around and starts making your way to the elevators, as you walk back you overhear a group of girls chatting about floor 7, you stop in your tracts to listen in a little more, you werent trying to eavesdrop but you were still new here and wanted to know what they had to say about the floor your class is in. They started talking about how the rumor about idols showing up at the dance studio was true but the only floor they ever go to was floor 7, since floor 7 was were the best choreographers were located. You start to walk away slowly picking up your pace because in your head that was impossible, you werent notified exactly of who the special personal was. You thought maybe you should have asked more in depth questions, but you didnt because you were so excited. You finally make a stop at the elevator doors almost running straight into them,you push the up arrow button and the doors open. When you head inside you push level 7 but on the mini screen it says Please scan badge. You grab your badge slightly shaking and scan, you get approved and the doors close. The elevator starts to go up and you are so deep in your thoughts you start thinking out loud. You start pacing back in forth asking yourself if what the girls were saying was true. The last thing you needed was for an artist to show up and make a fool out of yourself, at this point you have your arms up in the air and you dont notice that the elevator stopped on floor 3. As you turn around you see three different males standing infront of the levator staring at you, all three were in black masks and some sort of hat making it hard to notice their faces. You make eye contact with one and the realise your arms are still up in the air. “oh my god, i am so sorry” you say as you are still panicking. The one on the left giggles to himself, the one on the right is unphased but the one in the center kept eye contact with you. You could barely utter another word, but you manged to scoot over and make room for the three of them. You are so embarassed you face away and place your head against one of the elevator walls. You see that one of them goes to push floor 7 as well but they realise that floor number 7 is already chosen. They look over and notice that you also have a badge that lets you in the top floor but they leave it at that. The ride from floor 3 to floor 7 seemed like it was taking forever, and you couldnt believe that on your first day you managed to make a fool out of yourself. You finally reach floor 7 and the elevator doors open. You make your way out first and walk as fast you can to room C, the boys follow behind. With your mind still racing you walk straight passed room C unknowingly that you almost run into a window at the end of the hall. As soon as you come to a stop you hear, “ You do know thats a window, and not a door right?” he says with a mocking tone. “ oh yeah, i knew that, i just wanted to take in some sun” you say as you turn back around and go straight for room C. “Hyunjin, youre going to be late for our dance class” han says after opening the door to room A, “Sorry, i just wanted to take in some sun” he giggles to himself.

You have eyes looking at you from running in and closing the door shut, your face lights up red "I'm sorry". You continue to walk in and the dance room catches your eye, its so spacious, the walls painted an oxford blue, and a set of two clear window that reach from top to bottom on the left. "First time here i see" one of the girls calls out to you, "oh yeah, this dance room is nice" you are in complete awe. "i was the same way the first time i walked in this room, by the way if you dont mind me asking, what was that all about earlier?" she cocked her head to the left. "oh that~, so i made a complete fool of myself infront of these guys who were on the elevator with me, i guess i was so nervous that i also almost walked into the window at the end of the hall until one of them called out to them" you say with a slight laugh as you look down on the floor. "Oh geex, i would have probably done the same. So whats your name?", "my name is Y/N, whats yours? you ask, "Oh my name is Elizabeth but you can call me Eli, i hope we can be good friends from now on". As soon as she finished the doord behind us opened, "Hello, it seems like everyone here seems aquianted, well lets get started from where we left off. Hello you must be y/n, i have heard alot about you from our scouts who were at the auditions." She says with a very curious tone, you can feel all eyes on you. "He-hello" you tense up slightly just at the thought the teacher knows who you are. The class officially starts and everyone seems to have gone to their places, you make your way towards the back of the class to watch the dance everyone one learned last semester. You watched them practice a couple times before you joined in. After going through the dance a couple more times Eli looks at you in awe "I can see why you were accepted into classes in the 7th floor, youre really good"

Classes proceeded for the rest of the day that time went by so fast, it was already 7pm and it was time to go home. "So i believe i will be seeing you tomrrow?" Eli asked, "Definitely, i had so much fun today and im so excited for the rest to come. I might stick around to practice just a little more" You say with enthusiasm in your voice. Eli leaves while waving back and youre the only one left in the room. You walk up to the radio and plug in your phone through the aux chord, you scroll through your playlist you are debating between Enhypen- given taken, TXT- Puma and Starykids latest release Thunderous. You decide to go with thunderous since you just had decided to change the end because you crouched down and walked foward by yourself it would look funny. You finally finished making the end and finally remmebering it so you decide to finally run through the whole dance. After dancing Thunderous a couple times you finaly drop down tired, you hear the door open behind you and turn around to see who could possibly still be here and to your suprise its the 3 mysterious men from earlier. "You're really good, did you make the ending for Thunderous?" asks the one with the medium length black hair, his voice sounds so familiar but you cant seem to remember who it could be. "Oh uhm, yes i did. i kinda figured if i danced it alone i would look stupid" You giggled to yourself "Like imagine crouching down and doing this?" you start to do the ending of the dance, "Youre right, haha it would look kinda funny" Says the one on the left, and again his voice also sounds very familiar but you really cant remember. " I guess we should introduce our selves, My name is Changbin, Seo Changbin" Your eyes widen, "Hi My name is Jisung, Han Jisung. But don't tell anyone you saw us" He shoots a wink. "Well i guess it my turn, My name is Hwan hyunjin, and if you ever feel like Getting some sunshine again Make sure not to try to run out the window" He laughs to himself. Youre face flushes red, You barely manage to even Speak. Did i really just make a full of myself infront of STRAYKIDS?!?! Is the only thought running through your head.

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misterbitches · 3 years

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hi @yeedak thank you so m uch for replying with what you did. YAY ADHD!!!!! ur partner sounds like she rocks >:) as do u

i found it really illuminating and i agree with all of it. and god as much as i understand reticence when black people are interracially dating (it is so hard) i also hate it when people dictate it and also to a degree that it makes it extremely uncomfortable for the person themselves. to me it really is about a sense of control particularly if you are a woman. constantly trying to pick someone’s life partner for them instead of letting them find out if it’s a) something they want or even want to do b) something they can handle and c) their experience. it can purely cultural as well. my mom is a black american but my father is nigerian and that was basically a sin. however my father’s siblings? the women who had to marry extremely quickly and had to be with nigerian men or at the very least african? divorced. because they had to clamor for love for approval, pop out babies, and look what that got them. i totally understand you and your mother. and you’re right about all of it.

the idea of a man whore is so funny to me too because it’s not about sexual liberation it’s literally about them wanting to use people as disposable which is why sexual liberation for women as well can be confusing. but all of this isn’t so we can develop our own imaginations and find out our own inhibitions. like you said in all of it and i found this part very very interesting and true, “youth is for sex and no mention of asexuality.” when you get older you are not sexual, when you are a child you are unsure about it, but there’s a time in our lives where we shouldn’t waste it, where it’s only acceptable in that window, where it’s dictated. tangentially i think it’s very funny that the people we sleep with also become a point of pride. let’s say if he is a man (as a bisexual~**~ gorl) but he’s ugly, i should be ashamed, too?

so much boxing in and pushing and dictating. they really are here to spread a message. and i know things ar ehard. i can believe people ask you that but it’s still so.....weird? i remember saying something about my sexuality once and it’s not like i knew the people but then they started asking me questions and i honestly felt embarrassed and like an outsider. i dunno.

and your analogy of a mirror was perfect woaaaaaaah that’s what im gonna say now thank you so much credit to you. gENIUS!!! as real life changes, what we see changes. but media doesnt come first.

also totally agree about watching what people consume and not falling into those patterns. and when “bad” things are shown i do not understand why shows are so scared to show them as they are or not romanticize. a real issue to introduce when it comes to age gaps would be why it is frequent in the lgbtq+ community. that is a real thing because when you have to hide yourself of course you can be stuck in a state of arrested development and trying to re-establish times you may never have. that’s a geniuine fear and concern, it’s understandable even if i don’t particularly care for it, but it’s like for these writeres there’s no reason to look deeply or put that into their story. so why are they doing it? and what is the message here? uGH. and what ur mother said makes so much sense we are just constantly absorbing all these messages and culture absolutely aids to it and you’re right about the generations. and sometimes things stop and start but i genuinely think (and know) that for us to continue forward and not have the constant backwards taht means we have to push to get there and demand and that also means we have to make an effort to end the harm we then see on screen. rape culture dictates these shows. it relies on it. it is disgusting but rape culture is the norm, the norm is the oppression so we have to attack it otherwise it sticks and htat’s exactly why we see what we see.

and the unacceptability of gender fluidity is what keeps the genre SO INFLEXIBLE sincerely. it honestly just pulls so heavily from patriarchy and the roles in which we have to follow to uphold that structure.

it’s really just not enough to show us things any more wihtout taking it into consideration. and like ive mentioned there’s soooooooooo much media that has a lot to say that embeds itself. there’s this thing my friend linked me to on re-examining queerness in korean cinema (much like my dad’s country; patriarchal, more “conservative, anti lgbtq+, reliant on capital. africa is different because of the blackness component but the structures aided by colonialism absolutely remain and continue and that’s how we see such similarities. thse countries are more “overt” in this output but still you know. america. sucks) because we are trying to re-evaluate what it means to be heard and seen. the different ways and sort of the message that a lot of us as lgbtq+ can feel. you know, how we can get a feeling on if a person has our same experience, how we kind of have to learn to identify that. not sure if this makes sense...

your mom sounds really cool. and i’m fucking sorry. so many men do that. i live with both my parents but even then i see this power imbalance i can’t stand and you know i would have believed it was normal if i wasnt able to learn aand had to build up thinking skills. there was one day that it hit me that there are parts of my parents relationship i abhor, that are imbalanced, that make me find my father disgusting and make me ashamed of my mother. i don’t want that to happen to me or my potential children. if i have a male partner for life, which i am sure i will because offffffff heteronormativity and homophobia and being half black american half nigerian, he cannot recreate that. i am optimistic on what people can do without needing such grand structures or the support of the elite etc you know? that’s how we know there’s good work that exists and people we can find that arent with the status quou!!!

and who want a better world. we have to know we can rally that together. i think part of that is constant demanding of things to do better. there’s a rage against the machine song called settle for nothing and it’s about 0 compromise. there’s a famous quote i dont remember by who that’s basically like there’s an idea that there’s a limit to asking for dignity and what you deserve because when people realize they can live better lives they want to cultivate that more and more but that means a loss of control and a sharing of power from the top. nothing is ever enough if it can be better and we are allowed to demand it (or take it.) we deserve the world, we are being told that we’re asking fo rtoo much. are we? really?

i was thinking about the children thing as well bc...lmao i was so tightly contorlled as a child and it really messed me up but at the same time, like you, i honestly do not want my children watching drivel. like even with youtube. a friend of mine said that what she thinks she will do is try and hammer home how fantastical these things are, they do not reflect reality, and to get them to understand the spectacle. at the same time i’m like does a child really need to watch these dumb tiktok stars or jake paul? but then im like i really dont want to control them. but like what if ur kid asks u to go to some like fucking BL concert or some shit like what do you say to that?!??! I DONT WANNA SAY NO BUT AT THE SAME TIME UHHHHlmao but at the same time we have to give them tools to analyze and do the right things and follow their hearts

however,

as you know

LOL

tysm for responding, lovely talking to you and hearing your thoughts!!!

oh btw so u r from kashmar? that is very cool......VERY COOL

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gunmetalgrey-trashpile · 4 years

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@diabolicaltendencies asked: ♫ (From Sam) ♫ five times my muse swears it’s not a real, and the one time it maybe is.

ONE The soft breeze shifted his hair as she rolled over to stare at him, laying in the sand. Sam in his hawian shirt and shorts, her in a strappy summer dress and a newly forged wedding ring. It was going to feel heavy on her finger. Impossibly heavy, and the proof that they had finally taken her last freedom. Tied to him for as long as Hydra deemed nessecary. Together, they were alone in the world. A fitting irony really.

With a heavy sigh, she lay her upturned hand in the sand and let her eyes close to listen to the waves.It as well past mignight, no one was watching them. No need to shower him in honeymoon kisses or roll her eyes lovingly at his jokes. She had gotten so good at playing the doting wife it made herself sick at times.

“ Can I hold your hand?”

Alex’s eyelids fluttered open to fall on him, his gaze on her face, watching her still. It took her back for him to ask. It had been a give and take the last few months, finding a rythm of how to be around him. Her body shut down when people left, when it was purely them. She reverted back to the cold, unfeeling asset she should be. She avoided his touch, sometimes even his eyes. It was her last piece of personal space after all.

Alex nodded, not saying anything as he reached out for her in the moonlight night. She let her eyes close again, letting herself pretend maybe this affection was from someone else - someone who could truly love her.

TWO Kissing was a part of it. Sitting in his lap at parties, holding his face, being overly affectionate to the point of sickening the people around them. It meant people looked away, they would scrutinize less. She had gotten pretty good at learning how to feign sweetness for someone who had never been comfortable with that level of physical affection. She leant down to kiss him the glass of sparkling wine in her hand to look the picture of middle class perfection.

Instead through, Sam offered her his hand and let her settle on his knees where she could sit. Alex had to catch herself, setting her glass down so it didn’t spill to ruin his suit. A friends wedding was a day away from the office, the performance of being in love whislt caring for the people that were of significant enough value to Hydra. Her eyes caught on the couples on the dnacefloor, shifting around in sparkly dresses as alcohol made everyone seem like a slightly better dancer. Maybe he let her perch here to watch them, the rise and fall of his chest making her feel calm with her weight on him.

Her eyes caught on the flower girl, twriling around near the speakers. her smile was beaming. She showered herself in petals as she span, only to stop and pick them all back up again for another go. That unadulterated joy.

Alex pressed her head into his shoulder with a heavy sigh. She could watch that girl for hours, sit here in peace and forget what horrible sins she still bore. Blinking once or twice, she pulled her self out of the daydream to look at Sam - relaising he too was caught up in the same scene.

THREE From her perch curled up on the windowsill, she lit her cigarette. Alex Moran didn’t smoke. But the real her craved nicotine the same way she had done as a teenager, an illicit rebellion in a self destructive way. She could fill her lungs with it and watch the smoke dance out over the skyline. Let it soothe her restless spirit till it floated away into nothing.

She didn’t see him sit down opposite her as such, but in the corner of her eye she noticed the ash tray he placed down between them. He had every right to tell her to stop, or discipline her in the way previous handlers had for such a lingering habit. Not only would her brand of tobacco be specific enough to trace, but it left a scent on her clothes and her skin. Here, in the open window, he said nothing about her tiny act of defiance.

And she knew beter than to offer him one.

Alex curled her legs up beneath her, using the offered ash tray she didn’t really need.

FOUR Panic rocketed through her as soon as her bleary eyes were open. She hadn’t really noticed the constant beep on the heart monitor in her sleep, it was only with her eyes open in harsh hospital lighting that she relaised where she truly was. It took her a moment to shift enough to feel the hand in hers, the blond man hunched up in a chair with his head resting againts her bed. He looked incredibly uncomfortable, but he was here.

She tried to steady her breathing, although she could feel her hand shaking even in his grip. Hospitals filled her with a very rare kind of dread. Squeezing his hand and trying to shake him awake, she kept counting her breaths in her head. She couldn’t get her words out, but she needed him to wake up and tell her it was going to be alright.

FINALLY FIVE - relinking this song here for reasons. The waves were the only constant in her life. Throughout her childhood, throughout her training, throughout their marraige, it was only the sea that would save her. The salt water and sand would wash away her sins, leave her skin and her mind clean. Alex sprinted head first for the surf, one foot after antoher with her breath gorwing heavier and heavier until she felt the drag of the tide at her legs. She dove beneath the brekaing waves, pulling herself up again only when it felt like her lungs would explode. She would drown rather than be anywhere else again.

This is what freedom felt like. Damp clothing clinging to her skin, wet hair slicked back against her head, her whole body on fire. It was only when she couldn’t catch her breath and her strokes started to slow that the finally turned back to the beach to catch sight of him. He was up to his waist, moving slowly though the tide towards her. Her shadow. Her handler. Her involuntary companion.

He didn’t need to. He could take the car and drive away, leave her to be swallowed by the sea and forgotten about. He had sold and bartered his way to legal freedom. Andy yet he stayed.

Alex felt her body move before she had time to relaise what it was doing, retracing her own path back to where he now stood. They met waist deep in the waves, being knocked a little each time they broke against thier bodies.

Face to face with Sam, She reached for the rings on her finger. Her finger that somehow felt empty without them. Somewhere along the line, her burden had started to weigh a little easier. She pulled them off, holding them for him to see before she pelted them as far as she physically could. She would never belong to a person again, she would never play the polite and misguided girl who was besotted with a beaitiful man. Lying, hurting innocent people, following order were all part of the life she needed to be cleansed.

But as her rings fell to the ocean floor out of sight, Alex turned to him and closed the gap between their bodies. Her arms wrapped themselves around him wihtout a word, holding him tight as their lips locked. A hunger and fury that she had never kissed him with, an authentic feeling for the first time in years. She was kissing him as herself, whoever that even was anymore. Maybe he would find out. Maybe she would leave him here. The next step didn’t matter, what was important was that this moment was real. She could feel again.

#v; ⋱ you’re my mission ⋰ ⦙ |*| ( hydra )#⌐╦╦═─ ⋱ this is just how were were taught to love ⋰ ⦙ alex + sam (hydra verse)#diabolicaltendencies #meme | diabolicaltendencies #eh??? it's a thing #i loke the last one A LOT but yknow #i realise there is never really dialouge in these but alex isnt' a verbal perosn ESP in this verse so

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seladorie · 6 years

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If you're still interested in doing the 500 words thing! It was so hard to pick because I probably reread Reverberation at least once a week, but also I'm weak for ROMANCE and COMMUNICATION so from the last chapter of Take Heart from " “I think we should talk about that,” Prompto says." to " That took a month. Like, the idea of you and me just being a thing. All the time.” " Which is a little over 500 words, but I agonized over choosing which portion to send this scene is just So Much

“I think we should talk about that,” Prompto says.

So this is like... such major process for Prompto. He stepped away just now, came back, and opens up discussing what the fuck just happened. And it’s awkward because this kind of shit is soooo fucking awkward.

“Yeah,” Gladio says.

Gladio is also a little blind-sided. LIke just these two lines, I love them so much because how do you start this conversation? Diving in balls deep that’s how

“So, that’s, um. You’re thinking that we’re going to be together for a while?”

Without even looking at Gladio, he can still feel the intensity of his stare. “Right. And you’re thinking we won’t make it to even telling anyone.”

“Right.”

Ahhh this exchange. Just. They’re both clarify how on the wrong page they are. They’re not even on the wrong page. They’re on the WRONG FUCKING BOOK.

“Alright,” Gladio says. Then, “Come back to bed. Watching you stand on the edge of your own room is painful.” He pulls down the covers, and Prompto shuffles back in between them.

Gladio here is desperately trying not to freak out, and Prompto is fidgeting in his own doorway, which helps him calm down... a little. Momentarily. It doesn’t help for long

“So,” Prompto begins and stops, not knowing where to go from there.

“So,” Gladio echoes. Just a few minutes before, they had been languishing intertwined with each other. Now, Gladio’s body is a tense line on the bed, and whether he means to or not, becomes utterly unapproachable. Prompto can’t imagine touching him right now. Perhaps getting back into bed was a bad idea.

Yeah, at this point, Gladio is thinking that Prompto doesn’t even want to be with him. Like, that didn’t sink in, when he invites Prompto back to bed, but now he’s going, “wait, does he want to break up with me???” Not a happy bed to be in at this moment

He’s still a little surprised at the anger of Gladio’s voice. “You don’t have to be dating me if you don’t want to. If you just want to break up with me, don’t drag it on. Just do it.”

Gladio is fortunately, pretty good at letting us in on his thoughts. Also--and i’ve said this before--it was important to me to show Gladio getting upset. Because you get upset in relationships! you don’t say the right or supportive thing all the time! this is hurting gladio too and he’s a person in this relationship! they have to work it out! i see some fiction sometimes wher eone person is. supportive all the time, and if they’re not, I see people giving them shit for not being supportive all the time and i. hate that. i am not a good or kind person all the time. it’s inhuman to be perfect all the time. and that’s not how relationships work

“I don’t want to break up with you!” Prompto denies immediately.

this part also forces prompto to say what he wants from the relationship, which has been desperately needed

i really like people have to verbalize what they want can you tell

Gladio, scowling and glaring, sits up from the bed, leaving Prompto to feel vulnerable and small, so he follows suit.

“If you didn’t want to date, you should have said so earlier, like before we started dating.”

hurt people hurt people *shrugs*

“I do want to date you!”

i imagine that prompto hasnt’ said this outloud before

“Well, it doesn’t fucking seem like that, does it?” Gladio yells, and yeah, Prompto regrets getting back into bed. “You’ve been so insecure this entire time, maybe I shouldn’t have bothered if you think we’re not going to last!” He regrets it a lot.

see? accusation. not what you’re supposed to do, but it happens because gladio’s only human and he’s hurting too

“Well, it’s fucking weird to already think about forever!” Prompto yells back.

“We’ve already known each other for years—”

“We’ve only been dating for a month! It’s too soon!”

“BUT I ALREADY KNOW!” Gladio bellows. The anger on his face contorts suddenly to surprise and fear, and Prompto gapes.

Hahahahahahaaha i love this moment. Just. Gladio’s been pretty much love at first sight, right? (Or at least in the prequel love at first actually paying attention to Prompto.) And while we know Prompto’s POV in this fic about how their relationship develops, remember that Prompto doesn’t really speak his anxieties that frequently, so this convo is a big old surprise to him

“I mean—shit,” Gladio says. “I didn’t mean to say that.”

He was gonna to deny it but--first off why bother, and second of all, Gladio doesn’t shy away from his feelings in this fic. He feels wha the feels and he means it

“Yeah,” Prompto says. They both sit quietly on the bed for a moment. “Really?”

Prompto still has to check. Even after that

Gladio sighs, and says, a little bitingly, “Even if I say yes, would you believe me?”

Again, going back to the--Gladio is also hurt here,so he’s not being the nicest he could be. But once I realized this is what he would say, it just solidified the rest of this scene

Of course I would, he thinks, and stops. Because it’s not true. “Probably not,” he admits. “I would need time.”

HELLO CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT HELLO PROMPTO UNDERSTANDING THAT HE’S SHIT AT BELIEVING PEOPLE CARE ABOUT HIM AND KNOWING WHAT HE NEEDS

MY BOY

Gladio snorts, voice still with a mean edge to it. “Time? How much time do you need?”

Prompto ignores the tone, and answers truthfully, “I don’t know. Until it becomes normal, I guess.”

They quiet again, sitting side by side, just a little more relaxed. “What do you mean, become normal?” Gladio asks.

How does Prompto describe his certainty before they hooked up that no one would want him? That, when they were fucking, he was sure it was for convenience, not genuine interest in an awkward failure of a niff immigrant. He’s too anxious, too scrawny, and too worthless. There’s a part of him that can never shake the idea that he’ll never be good enough. Not for Insomnia.

Note that immigrants often have additional pressure to be perfect beause they have to justify their existence.

When Gladio said he wanted to date him the first time, it shifted Prompto’s view of the world, and of the possibilities laid out for him in life. He had to think about, not just because of his traumatic, near-death experience. Readjusting what he could have had been hard.

Prompto never thought anyone would really like him enough to want to deal with him on a regular basis. Like sure, there was Noctis, but he had so many other things going on, Prompto’s presence wasn’t inflicted on him that often. Also, how long do you think it took Prompto to not think Noct was just pitying him (remember that in this verse, Prompto doesn’t become friends with Noct via weird Oracle interference)

“I mean when… when I get used to the idea that this is something I can have,” Prompto says, looking away from Gladio as he persists despite the knots twisting themselves up in his chest. “I was just becoming okay with our relationship. That took a month. Like, the idea of you and me just being a thing. All the time.”

I always tend to...s hy away from jargony terminology in my stories, because I want people to explain things like anxiety and shit in a way that feels real, and not like you’re reading a text book. It’s important to me that Prompto flounders and finds the words for how he feels about this wihtout this becoming an educational seminar.

Ahhhhh, that was a good scene. Thanks for the ask, boo

#ffxv #take heart #promptio #the-strongest-hero

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rokurookajima · 6 years

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answering some questions no one asked for because i’m extremely bored

placement asks

sun: what makes you feel like you?

this is such a hard question, probably just because i feel like i’ve only really started to feel like “me” again in the last few months. sometimes being with my oldest friends (like friends i’ve been friends with for a really really long time) makes me feel more in touch with myself, because they’ve known me through so many phases of myself, sometimes they kind of bring me back to that. when i’m working rly hard on a school project that i really care about (if you didn’t realize i’m an art major so i’m not as boring as that makes me sound). when i’m talking to someone and realize i’ve been sharing a lot of my opinions and real thoughts with them wihtout hesitation. in therapy sessions.

moon: do you have problem with trust?

not really. i trust people pretty easily, i’m just a really open person. however i think i’ve lost a lot of trust in the way of like...i think it’ll be really hard for me to trust a potential romantic partner now that i’ve experienced a hard break up. it’s something i work on in therapy lmao

rising: how/what do people say you come off as?

most people tell me i’m likeable, so i guess just pretty friendly and open. i’m a saggitarius rising, i think that greatly benefits me socially until people get to know me and realize i’m a living spreadsheet

midheaven: what do you want to be when you grow up?

content lmao. i want to find a job i love, i’m honestly not sure what it would be. if i could publish my own photobooks i’d be happy with that. i just really wanna live a life that’s fulfilling to me, i have no idea what job i want just as long as i can make enough money to be comfortalbe and i don’t hate it

venus: do you flirt more knowingly or unknowingly?

probably unknowingly. a lot of guys get crushes on me when we meet, and i just think i’m being friendly to them, but it probably comes across as flirting. if i want to flirt with someone tho, i’m completely aware and i’m sure they are too because my real flirting is not subtle at all

mars: when was the last time you got mad and why?

i’m not sure. i don’t really get mad very often, when i do it’s usually just at myself. i get mad during/after therapy a lot (i mean not really /mad/ just frustrated) when we talk about my possible future relationships, how i might be holding myself back from meeting someone, certain things about my past relationship. it’s better now, but for a while i was mad every time we talked about the way i viewed myself

mercury: who's your go-to person when you need to talk?

truly so many people!! which i mean i’m really lucky to have that, but i’m also an oversharer so i’ll tell anyone anything more or less. but usually when something happens or i need help, i’ll go to annabeth, olivia, evie, or gabrielle first

jupiter: when was the last time you got lucky?

my mind immediately took this to mean sexually so uh. november. but as far as actual luck....idk man i’m still gonna say it was pretty lucky when i got laid in november. i don't really have good luck

saturn: what are you the weakest and strongest at?

strongest and weakest at introspection. i’m really good at knowing exactly what i’m feeling, why i feel it, and whether or not it’s rational. but i also lose myself in the negative side of introspection and destroy myself over my own perceieved failures

uranus: are you rebellious and do you act upon it frequently?

no lmao not at all. i guess to some just my appearance would be considered rebellious, but i really didn’t get tattoos trying to be a rebel

neptune: what was your best dream and why?

four years ago i had a dream that would give me the idea for a graphic novel i’ve been plotting until this point, and now i’m going to finally write it as my senior thesis project!!

pluto: what is your biggest aspiration and why?

also to be happy and content. why not man, who doesn’t want to be content? i feel like being content means being able to be okay with things not being perfect, and like..having faith that whatever is missing will work out eventually. which i struggle with, and i keep myself from being happy half the time i think. of course like my biggest aspiration would be to have all the things i want in place in life, but to be content in the meantime is a good aspiration too.

lilith: what's your biggest turn on in someone?

man if i’m into someone, literally everything will turn me on. but just right off the bat, it’s an energy thing. i’ll see someone i think is aesthetically attractive, then there’ll be a certain vibe i get from them that’ll make me really attracted to them

aries: what's your favorite sport to play?

what kind of question is this

taurus: are you a dog or cat person?

cat person

gemini: are you introverted or extroverted?

somewhere in between, but i think mostly extroverted. if i go too long without seeing friends, i get so unmotivated and sad. i need to be around people i like more or less every day. but i still do need some time to myself to reconnect and chill

cancer: when was the last time you cried and why?

sunday afternoon, i’m not really sure why. i’m gonna blame the cancer full moon.i just all the sudden got really sad about life and the future and the past and just everything, and broke down in my car while driving. then i felt marginallly better after getting it all out.

leo: what makes you the most confident?

honestly i’m rlly confident during sexual encounters. but in a more general day-to-day life kind of way, i feel more confident when i put some effort into my hair/makeup/clothes. if i’m in a good mood, i feel a lot more confident too

virgo: what's your strongest subject in school?

i’m in college, i feel like this kind of question works better for high school. but digital photography classes are the ones i feel like i do best in most of the time (all my junior year i felt like i was doing bad in them, but i felt like i was doing bad in every class so)

libra: what's your favorite make up brand?

i’m not rlly loyal to any one brand, i just use specific products exclusively. i like limecrime for the venus palettes, too faced bc i use their better than sex mascara, i’ve used almay liquid eyeliner since the 8th grade

scorpio: what's your most kept secret?

why would i tell y’all

sagittarius: do you like to party?

i love to party!! i literally never thought i would be someone who goes to parties, i thought i was way too socially anxious and afraid of the unknown to do it. but in the last year i’ve gotten way more comfortable with going to parties to the point i’ll even show up by myself (i mean i vaguely know pretty much everyone who will be there so there’s still that). but yeah now i always have a really good time and look forward to going to parties

capricorn: what's the last book you've read?

this book is full of spiders (seriously dude don’t touch it) by david wong, the sequel to the very beloved john dies at the end. i started it over the summer and finally finished it this winter break i had no time to read during the semester

aquarius: do you believe in aliens?

honestly i don’t ever give it much thought, but i don’t see a reason not to believe in them

pisces: how frequently do you remember your dream?

usually i remember rlly vague snippets, not much detail. every now and then i’ll have a really vivid dream with an actual storyline that’s worth remembering and those are my favorites. i wish i had them more often

#personal #ask meme

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captain-ezri-dax · 6 years

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ALL OF THEM ANSWER EVERY SINGLE ONE IF I HAVE TO DO IT SO DO Y O U

uhh i guess formatting wants 44 to be on top. i can’t believe #44 is a top, all the other numbers are bottoms & 7 8 9

44: A random fact about anything - anyone who’s played dragon age inquisition but says that Sera isn’t autistic or at least ND can eat my ass

0: Height - i actually have no real idea lmao?? At least 5”7’ i think

1: Age - aaaaam 20

2: Shoe size - again i can’t tell u cause i haven’t needed to buy new shoes in literally 4 years

3: Do you smoke? - nope

4: Do you drink? - not yet

5: Do you take drugs? - nah

6: Age you get mistaken for - lmao i dont get mistaken for ages im not tbh

7: Have tattoos? - nope

8: Want any tattoos? - hell yeah?? I’d get a nier automata tattoo tbh, maybe a dragon age & rwby one too

9: Got any piercings? - nah

10: Want any piercings? - naah

11: Best friend? - probably Tori??

12: Relationship status - single as shit

13: Biggest turn ons - nicee looking tummies, lap sitting, hickies, neck kissing, tiddies

14: Biggest turn offs - uHH i actually don’t rly know?? Pee, dd/lg & bullshit like that, keep all that away fromm me

15: Favorite movie - idk if i rly have one tbh?? I’ve watched spiderman homecoming a lot

16: I’ll love you if… - tag me in things, send me posts i might like or pictures of things u see that remind u of me or think i’d like?? Be even vaguely nice to me lmao

17: Someone you miss - well, people who aren’t in my life any more aren’t rly people i miss tbh?? I miss pmuch all my friends when they aren’t around tho

18: Most traumatic experience - probably the utterly relentless bullying throughout my entire school career & the teachers agreeing w/ my bullies (but not outright saying ofc) lmao

19: A fact about your personality - uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh?? I get very excited when friends make me things or show me their own things but have a kind of hard time showing it? Does that count. What counts. Help

20: What I hate most about myself - myy probably abandonment issues, clinginess meaning that i try distancing myself from a lot of people in case i get too clingy, my writing style, the fact that it’s impossible for me to learn a new skill cause not getting it right immediately upsets me & i can’t learn, literally my entire body, how my mind works, my writing style & i can’t keep going or i’ll never stop

21: What I love most about myself - uhhh sometimes i make okay worlds & characters i guess??

22: What I want to be when I get older - mmm don’t rly care as long as i have time to spend time w/ friend & play vidya

23: My relationship with my sibling(s) - not bad but like. Not good either?? We just don’t talk lmao

24: My relationship with my parent(s) - bad

25: My idea of a perfect date - videogames, movies, naps, cuddles

26: My biggest pet peeves - lmao idk this one either tbh

27: A description of the girl/boy I like - n/a rn

28: A description of the person I dislike the most - the president of the united states

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend - i. Haven’t lied to friends?? Do people do that??

30: What I hate the most about work/school - it’d be much much shorter to ask what i liked about school & then it’d be such an incredibly short list

31: What my last text message says - i technically don’t get texts cause discord is near my sole means of communication at this point

32: What words upset me the most - “futa” lmao, i don’t even see it only on porn blogs anymore, i’ve seen it a few times on sfw art

33: What words make me feel the best about myself - mmm shrug, just validation of my existence

34: What I find attractive in women - not being a fuckin ter/f or any kind of fuckin bigot but otherwise?? But otherwise it’s hard to pin down lmao, all women are good

35: What I find attractive in men - since when are men attractive in literally any way

36: Where I would like to live - andromeda

37: One of my insecurities - mMM what if my friends don’t actually like talking to me & just feel bad for me

38: My childhood career choice - traffic cop lmao

39: My favorite ice cream flavor - miiiint

40: Who I wish I could be - uUUH?? Me i guess but in the right body & wihtout the defects

41: Where I want to be right now - in my room but w/ a working computer

42: The last thing I ate - cake lmao

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately - i genuinely can’t think of any real people lmao, so i’ll just say Aloy

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starrynight-over-thepast · 7 years

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ONE OF MY SECOND COUSINS IS GETTING MARRIED AND THERE’S NO WAY I CAN GET OUT OF GOING TO HER WEDDING IT MEANS I’LL HAVE TO DRESS UP AND ATTEND A FORMAL SOCIAL GATHERING WITH HER ENTIRE FAMILY AND SEE MY GREAT AUNT AND UNCLE AND ALL 4 OF MY AUNTS AND SECOND COUSINS ALL AT ONCE AND EVERYONE WILL BE THERE WITH THEIR FAMILY BUT I’LL BE THERE ALONE ALSO I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO DOESN’T BELONG TO THAT FAMILY (THEY’RE THE FAMILY OF MY GRANDPA’S SISTER) SO LIKE I’M NOT TECHNICALLY IN BUT NOT ‘OUT’ ENOUGH TO SAY NO AND THEY TOO INVITED ME BECAUSE I’M TECHNICALLY ‘FAMILY’ BUT REALLY THEY NEVER EVEN MET ME UNTIL LIKE WHAT 3 YEARS AGO AND IT’S NOT LIKE WE’RE CLOSE OR ANYTHING OH GOSH I’LL LITERALLY BE AN OUTSIDER THERE AND THEY’RE SUCH NICE AND PERFECT HUMAN BEINGS WHO LEAD PERFECT LIVES AND ALLLLLL MY COUSINS ARE LIKE PERFECT BEAUTIFUL ATHLETIC WELL ROUNDED MODEL KIDS AND SPENDING TIME WITH THEM HAS ALWAYS TERRIFIED THE FUCK OUT OF ME AND I’LL BE THERE ALONE OH MY GOSH THIS IS GOING TO BE SO PAINFULLY AWKWARD WITH ME JUST STANDING THERE IN A CORNER AND MY AUNTS WOULD TRY TO ENGAGE ME IN CONVERSATIONS AND ASK ME QUESTIONS ABOUT MY FAMILY BACK HOME BECAUSE THEY KINDA PITY ME BEING THERE ALONE AND ALL WHICH I CANNOT DEAL WITH BECAUSE I HATE BEING PUT ON THE SPOT AND THAT KIND OF PLEASANTRIES ALSO I CAN ALREADY IMAGINE MY AUNTS INTRODUCING ME TO PEOPLE LIKE ‘OH HERE’S OUR NIECE/COUSIN FROM VN’’ AND PEOPLE’D BE LIKE ‘OH WOW YOU’RE LIKE FROM THERE FROM THERE AND ASK ME QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW IT’S LIKE THERE BLAH BLAH AND I’LL BE EXTRA! ON THE SPOT HAVING COME RIGHT FROM SUCH AN “EXOTIC” PLACE ALSO THAT CHORUS ‘WOW, THAT’S REALLY FAR!! AND YOU’RE HERE ALONE!?! WOW!’ WHICH I’VE HEARD 2398402309 TIMES IN THE PAST 3.5 YEARS OKAY THANKS CAN WE JSUT PLEASE DON’T TALK TO ME AND PAY ATTENTION TO ME ALL AT ONCE I’M SCARED I CAN ONLY HANDLE ONE ON ONE CONVERSATIONS AND AM AFRAID OF TALKING ABOUT MYSELF JUST LEAVE ME ALONE PLEASE OH GOSHHHHH

ALSO WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO WEAR THAT DOESN’T MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A GIANT PEAR WITH GLASSES OH MY GOSH LIKE THEY’RE ALL PERFECTLY NICE DECENT PEOPLE I’M JUST NOT COMFORTABLE WITH ANYONE BESIDES MY PARENTS AND SISTER AND I CAN DEAL WITH STRANGERS IN A PROFESSIONAL SETTING BUT I HAVE A DEEP ANXIETY FOR EXTENDED FAMILIES DATING BACK FROM LIKE AGE 3 HA HA HA ALSO I’M ALREADY 20 YEARS OLD BUT NEVER EVER HAD A RELATIONSHIP (YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT AND NO I DO NOT CARE EXCEPT WHEN PEOPLE MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I’VE BEEN ‘LACKING’ OR SOME SHIT BECAUSE OF IT) AND TECHNICALLY I’M IN THE ‘MARRYING AGE’ RIGHT NOW AND MY GREAT AUNT LOVES MATCH MAKING SO IF SHE INTRODUCES ME TO A GUY OR SOME SHIT I SWEAR OH MY GOSH WHAT THE FUCKKKK AM I GOING TO DO FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK ALSO I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT LIKE LOTS AND LOTS OF WEIGHT AND I DON’T KNOW WHEN THE WEDDING’S GONNA BE BUT IT’S CLOSE AND I’LL HAVE TO GO ON AN EXPRESS DIET OR SOME SHIT ALSO MY MOM IS SO PARTICULAR ABOUT BEING ON GOOD TERMS WITH MY AUNTS AND ALLLLLWAYS GOTTA MAKE SURE THEY APPROVE OF EVERYFUCKINGTHING I DO AND THEY’RE SUCH PERFECT HUMAN BEINGS WITH PERFECT KIDS THAT THEY SUBCONSCIOUSLY HAVE REALLY HIGH STANDARDS AND MY MOM’S GONNA PUT THE PRESSURE ON ME TO BE GRACIOUS AND WEAR MAKEUP (BY THE WAY I NEVER WEAR MAKEUP AND HAVE THE MAKEUP SKILL OF A BOTTLENOSE DOLPHIN AND DOES NOT WANT TO SPEND $$$ ON THINGS I ONLY USE ONCE PER 5 YEARS) OH GOSH AND WHAT IF IT’S DURING EXAM TIME AND IT’S GONNA TAKE ME 1 OR 2 DAYS JUST TO GO BACK AND FORTH AND 3 WEEKS BEFOREHAND JUST TO CRY ABOUT IT OH GOSH WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WHAT LIKE WHY THE FUCK AM I LIEK THIS WHY CAN’T I BE NORMAL OH MY GOSH I’D RATHER DO 320482034320 PUBLIC PRESENTATIONS ON EXCEL TOOLS FOR FINANCE OR ACCOUNTING SOFTWARES LIKE THE GUY IN PARKS AND REC RATHER THAN GOING TO THIS THING I MEAN I COULDN’T EVEN HANDLE SPENDING 48 HOURS WITH THEM AT CHRISTMAS WIHTOUT FREAKING THE FUCK OUT SINCE 4 WEEKS BEFORE AND BEING STIFF LIKE A FUCKING LOG DURING MY STAY HA HA HA WHYYY AM I LIKE THIS WHY????

#PERSONAL #I AM A FUCKING USELESS PIECE OF SHIT #MY APOLOGY PLEASE IGNORE #OKAY NOW I FEEL COLD AND FIND IT HARD TO BREATHE HA HA HA LG LIFE'S GOOD #THIS IS MORE TERRIFYING THAN A JOB INTERVIEW MY GOSH #I WENT TO LIKE 9 LAST YEAR BUT NONE OF THEM MADE ME HALF NERVOUS LIKE THIS NOT EVEN CLOSE

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discountggdbforsale-blog · 5 years

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ggdbcheapforsale-blog · 5 years

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