#wouldn't even consider this meta bc it's the rantings of a psycho

[buffysummers]

I just finished season 3 of my btvs rewatch (it's only the second time i'm seeing the show) and I have to admit I expected angel to be in the show longer with the way I see you post about them. I am not trying to be mean or anything, but why do you love them so much if he isn't in that much of the show?

A Buffy rewatch??? ALWAYS a good time omg. Ahhhh I have so many thoughts about this but I will do my best to keep everything as organized as possible.

To start off, Despite Angel leaving the show after season 3, he is still very present in Buffy’s life. That is never questioned or doubted. Having said that, I want to give a shout out to the writers of both BtVS and AtS for being so damn consistent with this. It isn’t like they break up and their relationship ceases to matter (I have seen SO many shows go this route lol) because there is so much evidence in canon to support that Buffy and Angel will always choose each other, regardless of how much time has passed or regardless of what may be going on in their lives.

Let’s look at season 4 of Buffy and season 1 of Angel as an example. In the season 3 finale, we get that beautifully understated final look of good-bye between them. I know the writers love to poke fun at the high stakes drama of Buffy and Angel, but they go an entirely different direction with their good-bye and I gotta say it’s perfect. They checked all my boxes with that one! I’m getting off topic here. Ok, so back to BtVS season 4/AtS season 1. Buffy is notably depressed at the start of season 4. Some of it has to do with being in a new environment and feeling out of her element, but a LOT of it has to do with Angel’s absence. You similarly see this with Angel when he first gets to LA. (it’s important to note I know BtVS better than any other piece of fiction out there, and I’ve only watched AtS maybe twice all the way through, so I don’t particularly remember the Angel stuff as well).

[So this is an edit after I reread for typos, which I’m sure I still missed some, it would probably take too long for me to list every important reference to either Buffy or Angel on both shows, but some important ones post season 3]:

Angel drops everything to be there for Buffy after her mom dies. They share a very intimate moment where Buffy admits to him things she hasn’t told anyone else, because she trusts him more than everyone else. this is toward the end of season 5, so WAY after he leaves the show btw. She also asks him to stay forever with her... And he wants to, but after the kiss they share, it’s very clear how reckless that would be. Just another example of them choosing the safety of the world over their own personal happiness.

Angel’s blatant jealousy of Riley.... Keep in mind, this is literally a year after they broke up basically and it’s like Riley shouldn’t even bother to compete with Angel. Oh God, poor guy. Never stood a chance.

I believe the episode is “Heartthrob” but Angel says that in all those years he’s lived (so... a lot lmao) no one ever mattered like Buffy did. This is like... season 6 of Buffy, so very far into the show.

Speaking of season 6, Buffy’s totally thinking about Angel in that speech Anya gives at her engagement party about finding the person for you and how rare it is etc. I am sad again.

In 7.05, so the FINAL SEASON of Buffy, Buffy states that she loved Angel more than she has ever loved ANYTHING in this life.... You heard it, pals. ANYTHING!!! IN!!! THIS!!! LIFE!!! She says she would’ve given up EVERYTHING to be with him.... Yeah.... Yeah.... 

I’d be remiss not to mention the kiss they share in the finale and the whole “shoulder to shoulder, i’m yours.” and the whole “sometimes is something...” when Buffy says she sometimes thinks that far ahead. I don’t really think I need to elaborate on the significance of this.

On a side note, I totally looked this up (so i’m not crazy enough to know this by heart lol), Buffy either appears or is mentioned/referenced in 11/22 of the episodes of season 1 of AtS, and Angel is mentioned/referenced in 9/22 of the episodes of season 4 of BtVS. So, despite the fact that they went their separate ways, their presence in each other’s lives feels almost palpable. Angel may be gone but he definitely is not forgotten and vice versa. 

Now, I don’t really like to draw comparisons between other ships but I have the perfect example so I’m going to go for it. Everyone knows that Stelena from TVD is modeled off of Bangel. (One of the creators of TVD even said they used Buffy as a template for their show lol.) Like Bangel was the blue-print for them (my feelings for Stelena aside, this is very obvious). Except when Stefan and Elena break up, it isn’t because they can’t be together, but because Elena falls in love with someone else. It’s canon. Stelena are what Bangel *could have* been. The writers could’ve chosen to ignore the significance of Angel to Buffy, and vice versa, but instead, they consistently write them to be in love throughout BtVS and AtS.

Buffy and Angel didn’t fall out of love. They weren’t incompatible and no infidelity was involved. They aren’t together because of external forces and because of who they are as individuals. They’re both heroes on separate journeys, although their influence on each other is crucial for that journey. Angel does not seek redemption without Buffy, Angel does not want to fight and atone without Buffy. She gives him the strength to do so, and after she does, he comes into his own. We also get to see what COULD have been in the most depressing but beautiful episode ever, “I Will Remember You.” Buffy and Angel would choose to be together if they could, but they literally can’t be together.

Similarly, I don’t think it can ever be stated *just* how important the back-to-back “surprise” and “innocence” episodes are... Those two episodes changed the entire trajectory of the show. There is not a single moment more important in either shows than the moment Angel becomes Angelus. Up until then, Angel was there to support Buffy. He loved her, she loved him, and he did his best to help her come to terms with her destiny as the Chosen One. He backed her up in the field and listened to her struggle with having to compromise basically every aspect of her life. She didn’t get to place value in cheerleading and making straight a’s and being popular like Cordelia and literally every other high school student on the planet. But she wasn’t alone, she had him. Until she didn’t.

Although Buffy faces a God and an evil that’s omniscient and everywhere, her battle with Angelus is her biggest victory from an emotional standpoint. Because in that moment, well I should say in those pivotal 60 seconds, she has to decide who she was. Could she have taken Angel and fled and tried to outrun Acathla for as long as possible? Could she have turned to Giles and his books to find an alternative way to save the world? Absolutely. But did she? No. She chose to be selfless and plunge a sword into the love of her life’s heart... all in like 60 seconds. (Can we talk about the acting from SMG in this scene because holy..... shit!!!!!!!!!! So much is displayed in so little time). Also, you just know that Buffy knows Angel would understand. He wouldn’t blame her or hold it against her for doing that (of course she’s tormented by the idea that he would bc hello PTSD that’s some real shit right there)

The reason I mentioned “Becoming” though is that without Buffy and Angel’s deep love for each other, we’d never get Angelus, and if we never got Angelus, we’d never see Buffy realize or “become” who she was always meant to be. She’s a hero, we know this, we’ve seen her go to fight the Master despite knowing that she would die, but this is different. Because this time, she’d have to stick around and deal with the fallout, unlike if she were to have remained dead in “Prophecy Girl.” She knew she could make that sacrifice, but there’s only *one* way to know if you can sacrifice what you hold closest to your heart yes this is corny blah blah I’m tired [Another sidenote but god I’m thinking of how she mentions how she sacrificed Angel to save the world and that she loved him so much in “The Gift” but now she feels she doesn’t have that anymore. This is tragic and heartbreaking for a lot of reasons, but the main one being that she felt so defeated in this moment. She was emotionally exhausted, barely clinging to sanity (as seen by her catatonic state in “the weight of the world”) and felt that she no longer had the resolve to make a sacrifice like that because why SHOULD she??... God I could go down another rabbit hole with this thought but I will refrain from inflicting that on y’all... by y’all I mean to the maybe one person that will read this fucking essay jfc shjdgsdg] I wanna close out this paragraph and just say how iconic and sexy it is of Buffy and Angel to get an entire season dedicated to their love story, like no other pairing gets the same treatment in both shows (or like... a lot of shows I’ve watched lol) like everything that happens in season 2 is directly connected to their love for each other... powerful stuffffff

tldr: wow I went on so many tangents like does this even make sense, but simply put, Buffy and Angel do not just disappear after season 3. The significance that they had on each other (as individuals and as a couple) is felt throughout both shows. It is *always* present, even if it’s not directly stated. The influence is always there...It’s written into both of their characters to love each other always, that’s canon.... And I feel God in this Chili’s tonight

#anonymous #answered #I SHOULD BE ASLEEP I HAVE TO BE UP IN 4 HOURS AND SLEPT 4 HOURS LAST NIGHT #BUT THEN I SAW THIS ASK #AND I COULDN'T SLEEP BC MY MIND'S ALIVE #THIS IS SO LONG #I LOVE THIS SHOW TOO MUCH #bangel #bangel meta #wouldn't even consider this meta bc it's the rantings of a psycho #but alas #buffy x angel #long post #otp: you still my girl? always #buffy thoughts