#wow I didn't know this existed

[rawliverandgoronspice]

behold: my second least favorite string of words in the entirety of Tears of the Kingdom.

(it's a little less transparent why this time so I'll explain my thoughts under the cut)

So why do I not like this?

In so many words: because if you remove it, the scene still works, but you lose the moral certainty of what is going on.

This single sentence does so much legwork for the entire game (the kind I dislike), to the point where I'm about 60% sure it's the product of a rework that realized how ambiguous Rauru's position was as the Good Rightful King and needed to nervously reassure the players that Ganondorf Is and Always Was the Invader, Actually.

(no matter that it leaves the gerudos in this awkward in-between state of both invaders and victims, while never dwelling in the specifics of their history and their own agency in the entire thing; brushed off as a sin they have to expiate through loyalty to the winners of that particular strife, but without explicitely blaming them either to avoid the implications of what that would have looked like)

If you remove it, not only do you lose a pretty clunky line that detracts from Ganondorf's intimidating presence (who is he even speaking to? who needs to hear this right now?) that honestly speaks for itself when it comes to his experience with warfare, but also you lose any tension and any mystery regarding why he is attacking in the first place.

You also... kind of rob Ganondorf's motivations of their meaning. "Hyrule will bow down before me" leads to asking... why? What does he want? What does he see in those lands? And what little we get with Rauru and then Link during the final fight begs more questions; why do you prefer hardship to peace? Why do you value strength? What leads you to want to rule a land devoid of survivors, become a king without a kingdom? I don't think we ever get satisfactory answers. If you remove this sentence, on the other hand... Subtextually, it becomes pretty clear that his motivations is that he felt threatened by Rauru's power, which is ripe with subtext and questions about whether this is a legitimate reaction, whether his "no survivor" stance is due to a feeling of betrayal when his own people turned against him post the Demon King shenanigans... I'm not saying it would fix the entire game's writing, far from it, but it would already do *so much more*.

(genuinely, I think he could have stayed completely silent during the Molduga Assault, speaking only in the Show of Fealty before going completely nuts after Sonia's murder, and it would have worked MUCH better in terms of characterization but anyway anyway

EDIT: ALSO!!! that way he wouldn't speak hylian to fellow gerudos, which is weird inherently)

Without this line, the core of the tension between the gerudos and Hyrule comes front in his conversation with Rauru; it allows the cause of his hostility to be Rauru's invitations, that he would have taken as a threat, and would have still made him warlike and domineering without making him cartoonishly flat, because, once again, Rauru is not acting in a particularly more legitimate way when Zelda arrives in Ancient Hyrule; and it would have been... fair to point that out. And make for better characterization for Rauru, and Sonia, and Mineru, and everybody. But the priority was for Hyrule to be pictured as unquestionably holy; always legitimate, always truthful, always beautiful, always just.

Also, and this is more of a nitpick but: why would Ganondorf want Hyrule, specifically, to bow down before him also? Was he at war with the rest of the disparate tribes before, and just carried on his ambitions to the very very newly-founded kingdom as they allied under a new banner? (though it seems to be implies the lands were crawling under monsters in a generic sense, and not Ganondorf's attacks in particular) Why would he even consider Hyrule a legitimate entity worth taking over then, if it is so new, born from the will of a powerful rival, founded by what is basically a stranger to these lands? Why would he covet something so young instead of destroying it and just calling the lands Gerudo Lands II or Grooseland or something?

I don't think any of that was even accounted for, because, beyond everything else: to me, this sentence is so clearly and painfully crammed in here to shield Hyrule from any potential blame and immediately characterize Ganondorf as Bad without having to remove any of the causes that could lead one to side-eye Rauru's little pet project as equally questionable.

Beyond the clumsiness, it is cowardly --and, I think, a little damning.

#totk #totk critical #when will my brain return from the imprisoning war... #ganondorf #gerudos #rauru #tl:dr it is cowardly and reveals that nintendo knew about the Implications to some degree #sometimes less is more #really in that case less would have been so much more #it is literally ganondorf's first chronological line #yeah sure it tells you everything about the guy but #it's also such a bold commitment to flatness and self-righteousness that... yeah #and before I hear any “at least Rauru wasn't using force” I mean as far as we know though? #the constructs attack anyone deemed an “invader” on sight one of the things rauru does is to apologize for this #(I reread Rauru's initial dialogue in the Sky Islands and it would have been SO GOOD if any ambiguity would have been allowed) #(like the thing about Constructs mindlessly pursuing their useless tasks forever disquieting him...) #(yeah buddy so true that could uhhh almost be a metaphor for something else regarding purpose and lineage or something wow) #and even if he didn't use force directly the power dynamics and repeated invitations are still undeniably questionnable #like my guy why do you want everybody to kneel down to you what's up with that do we unpack this or #at least ganondorf was like.... born and raised a king (not that it excuses anything but he inherited pre-existing traditions) #so did zelda #she was born in an imperfect system and did whatever she could about it #rauru *crowned himself* #he *made* the system

[essektheylyss]

no more "fix-it fics". enough "everybody lives au". everybody DIES au. I could make it (canon) WORSE.

#this joke brought to you hilariously not by recent events but in fact rediscovering my old ffn fics from high school #they exist and are easily findable lol #and boyyyy have i not only really not change. but i have MELLOWED on the angst. #if you think my fics are rough now... #literally wrote MULTIPLE fics for a romance-oriented procedural where one or both of the leads died and someone else had to deal with that #hilarious. like. this was 'i know they're gonna get out of this tight spot canon left them in last episode. but what if they didn't. :3' #like say what you will about some of my sadder content but the characters aren't getting MURDERED #also went out of my way to write the cockblock rival LI sympathetically in one scenario #like this character was universally reviled. MEANT TO BE in fact. and several comments were just 'icb you made him impossible to hate' #me at all times: have you considered. this character is not evil. just trying their best and not favored by the narrative but like. fine. #and also do you want to talk about GRIEF? #would love to study my high school self like a bug. who was she. fuck if i remember lmfao #ANYWAY this is genuinely so funny #also damn ffn reviewers were brutal about update times lol #also were not shy about 'WOW this is so ooc' (they were wrong. to be clear. they were mad about a ship thing) #the writing was 'eh' but the specific aspect of the characterization they were mad about was not lol #but also uwu over some of the comments i was looking through last night #some of them were like 'wow someone said this about tiefling fic last week!'

[foolishnpd]

i simply cannot have a normal positive reaction to anything normal happening ever T_T

#lilyroaring #actually npd #actually narcissistic #npd safe #i'd detail but it's actually the most loser behavior on earth #green with petty envy and unjust paranoia #i have to be less insane about everything #maybe i didn't fully cycle through my emotions from yesterday a thousand times over to exhaust them yet #or my mother explicitly telling me she's not gonna pay much attention to me soon #but i am just being so hypersensitive today #like wow good job making up things that don't exist and getting upset about them??? dumbass #ahhh i don't even know what i'm feeling #i think i'd be happy if i just never experienced a Thought tm ever again though #WHATEVER I'M GONNA GO DRAW and if it comes out even slightly badly i think i'll just consider suicide :D

[sugaroto]

Jesus fucking Crist the breath I let out when I saw Charlie crying out of angel's door BEFORE the fight even started meaning that He DIDN'T die omg

#she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding kinda shit #wow it exists #the sigh of relief #had to stop eating cause i ended up losing my breath jeez #hazbin hotel #angel dust #sugarenia talks

[em-dashes]

now that suddence is out to betas i'm oscillating between getting more and more self conscious and overthinking about everything that might be wrong with the story vs. knowing that is literally THE POINT of betas and i can't in good conscience let my story slide out into the world with a bunch of faults i didn't catch simply because i was too close to it

#em dashes #DON'T GO EASY ON ME I NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING #i just need all my betas to know that I KNOW my story isn't perfect in its current state and that's exactly why it's out for critiques #i think there's always some part of you that wishes the critiques will come back squeaky clean. no notes! absolute perfection! #bc then you'd feel proud! you'd feel like you know what you're doing! like you're a PRO!! #however i gotta remind myself that not even professional writers can crank out perfect stories right away #they all have editors and peer critiques to help them #and i have to be careful about equating critiques as personal failures #because they aren't!! they're there to help!!! #anyway. enough venting for now #it's been a while since i got peer critiques so it's a little unnerving lol #but also also i just saw a very good breakdown of an episode of buffy that deals with grief #and i couldn't help comparing it to suddence which also deals with grief #and thinking 'wow. why didn't i do this. why didn't i do that. am i doing this all wrong' #AHH! writing is a very scary profession sometimes #but to be proud of myself for a second #i've never been so confident as to even show so many people my writing. let alone to receive critique on it #it's so strange to think there was a time where i kept all my writing bottled up and didn't talk about it to anyone even on tumblr #i began posting in 2018. that's not that long ago. that's only five years #and yet it feels like a billion years ago. i was still in university. suddence didn't even exist yet #wow. time is so weird

[running-in-the-dark]

a super fun thing that my brain is really good at is hearing a random fact and remembering it forever. but only if it's bad :)

#the reason I'm thinking about that right now: I wish I had never read that having a crease on your earlobe means you're more likely to have #heart disease. #scared me so much that I read a whole paper about it #but it's been years now so I don't remember the details #just that that's a thing apparently #and guess what my brain does with that information? oh yeah of course I have to obsessively look at the ears of everyone now! does that #do anything helpful? nope! just makes me very very anxious :) #it's just like when I was a kid and I got nightmares about scurvy every time I didn't eat a potato for a week. #like. wow I could be so smart and everything if my brain wasn't constantly focused on random bullshit that is completely irrelevant 😭 #also this thing specifically: I've always been weirdly fascinated by ears and this made that a million times worse and also very scary. #like ooh that's a nice ear :) oh no death exists and this person is going to die and #yeah it sucks. #specifically choosing not to mention any names in this context because my god this shit is on my mind all the time already I really don't #need to say it where anyone can see #it's embarrassing enough #though anyone who has looked at my blog in the past month already knows who I'm talking about. #like. I really shouldn't allow myself to like anyone over the age of like. idk 45. #it's so unbelievably exhausting. #but annnyway I'm totally normal and fine :) #oh yeah I also have creases on my earlobes lol so that definitely added to the scariness (and THEN my mother randomly mentioned recently #that EVERYONE on her side of the family had/has heart disease. bitch WHAT the fuck. anyway so yeah guess we know what's gonna kill me #haha isn't that fun :) ) #ALSO the fact that my memory is very very bad means that I remember absolutely none of the details about shit like this. so it could very #well be completely irrelevant and harmless but i wouldn't remember that part. #and I think even if I found out more it wouldn't help. it's been an obsession for so long. I've never had one go away that I've had for #this long. so. guess I'm just fucked. #personal

[bat-the-misfit]

half of the world talking about the barbie movie, the other half talking about nimona and then there's me, Uncle Bat, still waiting for the goofiest teen mystery movie brazil will ever make

#“wow Bat you came back from the dead just to say that???” yes #my hiatus was broken just so i could say that #now lemme get back to my cave #this TMJ live action pic is still on my mind 24/7 #i think about this movie every day #i stalk the cast members just to see if they post anything about the movie but they DON'T #THEY'RE MAKING ME SUFFER WITH THEIR SILENCE #specially Yuma Ono he NEVER said anything about playing Do Contra #which is my favorite character since i was 6 i NEED INFORMATION ABOUT HIM IN THE LIVE ACTION #WE'VE BEEN WAITING ON THIS MOVIE SINCE LIKE 2012 OR SMTH WE. NEED. INFO. #I NEED TO SEE ANY PIC OR ANYTHING ABOUT DO CONTRA IN THE MOVIE I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW #“Bat didn't you say you were heading back to the cave go fucking back to the cave and shut up” ok #but just bc i'm freaking out for no information #i will pretend everything's ok in my life and this movie doesn't exist #i will pretend i don't want to choke Yuma for being ashamed of the character he played hahahaahaaha :)) #BYE LOL GOOD BARBIE AND NIMONA MOVIE FOR Y'ALL #tio morcego tá pistola

[bredforloyalty]

this picture that i happen to be in that was taken during a lecture yesterday that was posted to facebook might be my last straw

#of course i'm not saying they didn't have the right to take pictures i'm saying i was already hanging on by a single fucking thread and #it's a bad picture. #i don't know if good pictures of me exist but wow i look like i am withering in that one and also the world's unhealthiest person and also #someone who's bored to death. i'm sorry i looked that ugly and bored i wasn't really bored or hating the lecture #i was having a pretty bad day though. sorry #maybe i'm only in one of those pictures because all the others with me were deemed too ugly hxsfvy #kata.txt

[stabbylambchop]

Hey uh

anyone here on Art Fight this year or-

Cuz I'm on there, same name and everything. I'm on Team Vampires.

You can like, add me or whatever...I mean, if you want...

I haven't interacted with anyone on here or even really drawn in a couple months, sweet pulsating spider-christ ...

#I KNOW I KNOW I CAN JUST. DO THE THING. BUT I ALSO CAN'T. YKNOW???? #I DON'T KNOW WHERE MY MIND HAS BEEN I DON'T #I'M STILL STRUGGLING WITH HEALTH Y'ALL #and sometimes instead of bouncing back and forth from feeling stable enough to do things and absolute dog shit i just- #-'welp i guess I'll just not do anything! that'll solve all of my problems! I'll get better if i don't do things and just rest and space out #-'WOW I CAN JUST BE ISOLATED AND PATHETIC IN MY ROOM ALL DAY COOL' #like...I EVEN GOT MY PAIN MEDS BACK! AND I QUALIFIED FOR A HIGHER DOSE WHICH IS A MIRACLE BC THIS IS FLORIDA!! #but like. idk. #and it's not like i don't care at all!!! I've missed you guys like fuck!!!! i just feel like I'm so far behind and everyone is on another- #-plane of existence at this point! and the longer it goes the more guilty i feel coming back bc i feel ashamed and lazy... #but i know you guys don't give a shit about at all. and I'm sorry for assuming and being so hard on myself #but also my fandoms are all over the place rn so uh. I'm so sorry LOL #but seriously anyone on art fight?? i really need to get back drawing but it's daunting... #especially since my guess 2 or 3 years were kickass by the last 2 literally no one but my wife interacted with me #one friendly fire from my partner. in two fights. after putting HOURS OF EFFORT THRU CHRONIC PAIN AND ILLNESS into all of those pieces... #i know I didn't draw a fuckton but i just got so discouraged and sad after awhile. and some never even got any attackee comments. #it all felt so damn pointless #but I'm nothing if not a survivor #as Zapp Brannigan once said; 'the spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised' #I'm a hot fuckin mess but even if i barely get any interaction at all again i can at least say i didn't give up- #and put in effort and love like always. no half-assing with art fight unless it's just me and my wife or a friend doin stupid friendly fires #BUT ANYWAY I STILL WANNA FUCK SLASHERS. IF ANYTHING THERE'S STILL THAT. IT'S STILL ME.

[jacksintention]

Automaton angel

#WHAT A CONCEPT #The imagery is soooo good #Anyway I caved. I've read the chapter without further context. I couldn't help it I loved the concepts it played with #Very Rufus the thing the guy with the brooch did at first. The panel of the archivist girl was so Lacie I could have kicked the wall #The play on the significance of names and existence and the role one plays in the world/notions of self I loved as well #And that is so 👀 when later on it's mentioned off-hand that... Olivier is actually named Romeo? Have I understood that well? #It was so cute that little throwback with him and Roland as kids. And that he knew of Astolfo meeting a friend but didn't tell due to that #And wow there was rape everywhere in this chapter? I didn't know Astolfo had been raped. I had heard about his... mother? sister? #But not him. I mean‚ maybe they were victims of sex-rape‚ but the talk about several vampires biting him and drinking his blood #and how the mark never leaves and how dirty and maimed in ever sense he feels sure seems to imply that at least metaphorically #The angel-like being also having gone through that is interesting again in its potential implications and ramifications. The very concept #Anyway... That pretty guy telling Astolfo that he knows what he's going through and recommending him to kill himself #because life is hell from that moment on... Wow he was so real and seemed so... sincere? But who knows. He sure is alive #That + the angel-like figure's words make it so intriguing given his position as chasseur? paladin? whatever the name was #Anyway I loved that he said that in any case #I liked Olivier on the verge of getting violent with the guy who was being a dick too I can't help it. Leave the kid alone #I'm rambling but yeah I loved the concept around this angel-like being both aesthetically and narratively for what we got #I talk too much #I should probably delete this later

[dramatic-dolphin]

it's funny when my baby cousin is behaving in ways i've been told it's normal for a two-year-old to behave (throwing tantrums, being very willful, and crying in public), and my mom is just like "what the fuck..... you and your sister were not like that at all... you were so well-behaved in public" i wasn't aware there was a toddler-behavior genetic lottery but i think she won it

#this isn't even a “my children are better than other children” we were genuinely so well-behaved in public for some reason?? #only the rare low-level tantruming with us #my sister had like. toddler social anxiety. she didn't act out because she didn't want to be perceived by strangers #(according to my mom. who did not consider this any kind of problem because “wow i was just like that”) #and i was like an absolutely freak of a toddler in that someone would tell me to do something #and i would go “okay! :)” and go do it immediately. zero complaints. genuinely happy to. #“i didn't know children like that actually existed what the fuckkkk” - every adult around toddler-me

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also i wouldn’t be able to at all easily find a previous reblog of this pic but

certainly knowing that rick moranis had seen bmc clearly and timingwise it was like, okay probably one of the later shows, but learning via joe iconis carrie the musical interview that went on a lsoh tangent that it was a Surprise Visit on the Closing Performance actually apparently, which is news to me

#bmc #will roland #joe iconis #also only just now properly absorbing like wow similar glasses. wow many similar things actually lol #will roland struggling to graciously accept that he isn't getting his In Over His Head New Young Dad role once again #b/c it's Rick Moranis Is Your Father casting time now lol.... #surprise Factoids towards the end of the podcast interview lol like oh hey i sure remember that pic #didn't know it was a Last Show Surprise #don't think i learned too much otherwise (listened to that whole podcast series abt carrie the musical already; for one) #like there were def some fun facts in there. #said if he could get his hands on adapting any sking property it'd be IT the (unwieldy) musical. but i think he's said that before #at least on twitter lol...parentheticals are my own. said it'd have to be 6 hrs & egregiously expensive b/c of that + child actors #can't argue with that or that it'd be the best Theatrical Candidate. endlessly fascinating how it shook out like hey whoa... #stephe has characters? stumbled into [adults who are friends] b/c [reasons that'd take up 5 tags]? #stumbled into [story that doesn't have a ''was that fucked up or what? plus everyone's dead'' ending] b/c [reasons that'd take up 5 tags]? #it's more likely than you think; dad! More Likely Than You Think! #there's a real sitcom dad sort of role for you. pov character post the events of the jaunt #comically struggling to raise your Beyond Eternal son who's also technically just [exactly the age he was 5 nanosec ago. plus the 5 nsec] #parents today don't know what it's like for your consciousness to be separated from any reference point or semblence of reality #and to exist in that state for what is Longer Than You Think and which you already think is like experiencing eternity #and yet also have an ending so as to be jaunted out the other side as your ancient being in your whatever teen son's body going ballistic #the jaunt son's first day of senior year and larry murphy is like what? he doesn't listen #ever since our son was unfathomably extricated from any realm of the human experience for an incomprehensibly infinite span of time.... #well; we all needed it for something. this au / riff is really getting out of hand lmfao #not as though i didn't report how [cujo discussion where the marriage improves in the end at least over shared grief] immediately kicked my #brain into Oh No Lmao. Deh mode lol

[ultimate-poll-tournament]

The edgelord battle bracket Princess Tutu thing is so real.

One of the contenders for "Edgiest character of all time" was this one boy from a mostly forgotten 2002 shoujo anime called Princess Tutu.

See the thing is, when something is relatively obscure and you bring it up in front of a large-ish crowd, you're going to get every weirdo who has been obsessed with the show for two decades that you never even knew existed suddenly pouring out of the woodworks losing their absolute minds because you just brought up their thing that no one else knows about. So of course that's exactly what happened.

OP running the bracket had never heard of the show before.

So rabid Princess Tutu fans were flooding their ask box with propaganda for Fakir, the guy in question here, as one normally does for something like this. But in the process, they revealed the fact that Princess Tutu is an absolutely batshit insane anime. Like, a contender for weirdest anime I've ever seen level weird. So the entire bracket devolved into people watching with horror and intrigue at all these increasingly strange out of context snapshots of this bizarre and forgotten early 200's magical girl anime

oh WOW that sounds fascinating, i just skimmed wikipedia and it seems as insane as you're making it out to be

#wow i didn't know anime has existed for 800 years #shh sorry bad joke #ask

[izzyizumi]

me: *takes deep breath*

me: I LO-

anyone who has spent five seconds around me ever: yes, you love DAIKEN, we get it okay, you love the DAIKEN SHIP, DAIKEN is a brightest f*cking starshine in your life, you f*cking adore it, yes okay yes, you love DAIKEN, HOW many times are we gonna go through this, yOU F*CKING LOVE DAIKEN AND IT'S OK FOR YOU TO LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#motomiya daisuke #ichijouji ken #daiken #ken x daisuke #kenxdaisuke #kensuke #kendai #otp: live #kensuke is valid #(But that ship name doesnt come up as well in Search so) #(DaiKen slash Kensuke fans please be good on this post if you rb) #(I'm making Meme of Outdated Meme because I Can) #(but I do have blog rules that should be followed and an F.A.Q that should be read) #(Anyway if this meme existed for this one before I didn't find it) #(WOW you all did you know Daisuke and Ken are a VALID SHIP) #(Disclaimer even though it is my 02 and Ken OTP I do have many other ships and side ships) #(but I wanted to make this meme specifically for this one Too) #(Just please be respectful if you Interact since I cant add my blogrules to Chat style posts ThankYou)

[mewharley]

Got the biggest notebook I've ever seen in my life

A3 size

And it's grid paper

Damn

Look at this beauty

#teen me would be SO excited #I am happy with this! but wow I always dreamed of something like this #didn't know this existed #well actually it was really hard to find and it was expensive! but i cna afford it and i deserve it ❤️

[stickers-on-a-laptop]

i'm rewatching episode blue of the chou den-o trilogy and owner was really like "what if i was homophobic for no reason. what if i ripped this relationship apart. lmao. learn a lesson koutarou!" meanwhile ryoutarou (13 again) is like "uh my grandson he is gay please give him back his monster boyfriend"

#kamen rider den o #new den o #nogami kotaro #koutarou on hearing rinko's grandma is going to die soon: wow that is JUST like teddy leaving me! #sakurada dori really went 'welp. gonna gently hold the sand that was my imagin and cry about the keychain' #'idiot. this is a love charm. this is the first time i saw you make a mistake' well it's 2010 bro. gay kisses were in 1996 and 2013 #the contract is so strong that teddy comes back. this is NOT the main character of den-o #like. this movie just really exists to be gay i guess #sakurada dori doesn't need a bl he has this movie #also everyone being like DUDE YOU CAN'T BE LIKE. OPENLY GAY HERE IT'S 2010 and then like 'but we know it's fine' #koutarou: this was done to me to teach me a lesson. also koutarou: well i didn't learn shit tendon :D