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magicalmarauder · 4 years

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Missing Piece Pt. 2

Pairing: Shawn Mendes x Reader

Warnings: None!

Word Count: 4k+

Summary: Part 2 to Missing Piece! Following the aftermath of the near-death experience and harsh words exchanged in a crowded ER. What will happen between Shawn, his daughter, and yourself? Will you find your way back to each other or is this the end of your unique little family before it could really even begin?

Read Part 1 here!

After watching you run out of the hospital emergency room, Shawn took a deep breath before heading to the front desk and inquiring after his daughter. Although Madi was the one admitted for shortness of breath due to a severe allergic reaction, Shawn felt as if he was the one who was unable to breathe and the only cure to that feeling would be to have his daughter in his arms once again, alive and well. Realistically, he knew that she was just fine and would make a full recovery, but his paternal instinct was on high alert at the moment and refused to stop triggering the alarm in his brain until he finally saw his daughter.

“I’m here for Madelyn Mendes,” Shawn stated to the nurse at the front desk. “I’m her father.”

The nurse nodded, taking a look at his driver’s license that he had handed over before filling out a visitor badge and giving him instructions on how to find his daughter in the crowded maze of ER beds.

Without wasting a second, Shawn sprinted through the double doors that separated the waiting room from the treatment area, following the directions given to him with bated breath, eyes scanning each bed restlessly, looking for the familiar curly locks and big, brown eyes.

“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon,” he muttered to himself, becoming increasingly more inpatient with each second that ticked by without sign of his daughter.

“Daddy?” A small voice sounded from his right. Whipping his head to the side, he let out a sigh of relief as he saw his precious little girl, looking scared and a little overwhelmed, but relatively unharmed.

“Angel,” Shawn sighed, taking two big steps and scooping his daughter up in his arms, burying his face in her neck, breathing in her scent, swearing that he was never going to let her out of his sight ever again.

He felt two little arms wrap themselves around his neck and tears land on his shirt as he listened to the soft sniffles of his four-year-old.

“Are you okay, baby?” He asked. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there with you, but I’m here now and I’m not leaving your side, okay? I love you so, so much. I don’t know what I would ever do without you,” he cried, pressing kisses to her forehead, cheeks, nose, basically anywhere his lips could reach.

“I love you too, daddy,” her sweet voice responded and Shawn swore it was like music to his ears. He would never tire of hearing those words from his precious little princess. A few tears leaked out of the corner of his eyes as he held her tighter to himself, allowing his heart to slow and his anxiety to recede. She was okay. She was here in his arms where she belonged and nothing was going to take her away from him. He would fight tooth and nail to make sure that no harm ever came to her ever again, whether intentionally or accidentally, such as this little incident.

“I’m okay, daddy, I promise,” Madi reassured, pulling back slightly to look in her father’s eyes and Shawn had to bite back a sob. She was so brave, his little angel. In this moment where he should have been comforting her, here she was needing to reassure him.

Shawn closed his eyes and pressed a kiss to her forehead, breathing her in one more time.

“I know, baby, I know. You just scared me is all.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, baby, no,” he protested. “It’s not your fault. Was an accident is all. We’ll just have to be careful from now on, though, hmm? No more trips to the hospital, okay?”

Madi giggled at his weak attempt at humor. “Okay, daddy, I promise to not eat any more cinnamon, okay?”

“Good,” Shawn stated firmly, tapping her lightly on the nose, bringing a small laugh out of the little girl.

“Where’s your doctor, baby?” He questioned, placing her back down on the small hospital bed. “I want to hear what he has to say.”

Madi shrugged, crawling into Shawn’s lap and resting her head against his chest, causing Shawn’s heart to nearly combust with love. Sometimes he still couldn’t believe that this amazing little girl was a part of him. She was his and he was hers, forever. And it seemed like every day his heart grew a little bit more as his love for her increased. It was moments like these where she would casually plop herself down in his lap and look at him with so much trust and admiration that he felt like his heart could just burst from the feelings it evoked within him.

“Daddy?”

“Yeah, angel?” He responded, looking back down at his little girl who was gazing up at him with a small frown on her face.

“Where’s Y/N?” She asked, pout prominently in place.

Shawn flushed at the question, the events from only a few short minutes ago racing back into his mind. “Umm, I told her that it would probably be best if she left.”

Madi’s frown only deepened, not understanding why he would do such a thing. “Why?”

Shawn’s guilt only grew at that question. Truth is, now that he knew Madelyn was ok, safe and sound in his arms, he was able to think clearly once again, meaning he recognized that the way he treated you was out of line. However, with the adrenaline pumping through his body, his only instinct had been to get to Madi and ensure her safety. And in that craze of panicked paternal instincts, you had falsely been labeled as a threat and blame placed upon your shoulders.

“I was worried about you, Madi. I wasn’t thinking clearly,” Shawn stuttered out. “I knew she had been the one watching you and, in my fear, I guess I blamed her for what happened. I told her she didn’t belong here.” Shawn cringed as he admitted the truth to his daughter, the full weight of the words he had spoken to you crashing back to his consciousness. How could he have spoken to you like that? You had been nothing but perfect towards him and Madi since you had started dating. He constantly told you how their lives were missing something until you had come into the picture. And he meant it. Every word. He knew Madi saw you as a motherly figure. He definitely saw you as his future wife and mother to his children. How could he speak to you like that? You must be so devastated right now.

“Can we call her, daddy?” Madi questioned, looking up at him with shining eyes. It always amazed him how compassionate and empathetic his little girl was. She felt the pain of others in such a real way and was always so determined to help those hurting in whatever way she could. Shawn was incredibly proud and amazed at how she had gotten such admirable qualities and at such a young age too! “I don’t want her to feel bad,” Madi continued. “It wasn’t her fault.”

Shawn nodded. “I know, baby. It was an accident. It could have happened to anyone. Accidents happen. I’m just glad that you’re okay. And yes, of course, we can call her. I need to tell her I’m sorry too.”

“Yeah, you do,” Madi admonished seriously and despite the worry churning through his stomach on how you would possibly forgive him after this, he couldn’t help but smile at his daughter’s words. She was a very bold little thing and never failed to call people out when necessary, especially her father.

Pressing another quick kiss to Madi’s forehead, Shawn grabbed his phone out of his back pocket and dialed the familiar number, foot tapping anxiously against the floor as he waited with bated breath for the love of his life to pick up. “C’mon, sweetheart, answer the phone,” he murmured to himself as he listened to the other line ring and ring before finally going to voicemail.

Shawn sighed, hanging up, not totally surprised that you didn’t pick up. You had only just left the ER after all and he knew how strict you were about texting and driving. You were probably still in the car, on the way home. Or at least he could only hope. He groaned internally as he again recalled the words he had spoken to you. “Leave.” “She’s not your daughter.” “I don’t want to see you right now.”

“I really messed up,” Shawn moaned, head falling down in guilt and fear. He couldn’t lose you. He just couldn’t.

***

After receiving the final medical clearance from the doctor and going through the entire discharge process, Shawn pulled up to your shared home a few hours later, a pit forming in his stomach as he saw that your car was nowhere to be seen. The last bit of hope he had been holding onto quickly left as he realized you truly weren’t there. He had of course sent you multiple calls and texts following that first call, apologizing profusely, begging you to call him back, and letting you know that Madi was okay. But nothing yet. Not even a text. At this point, he just wanted to know that you were okay. You had sold your apartment months ago when you had moved in with him and Madi and the nearest relative of yours was hours away. If you weren’t at home, where could you be? As he had learned today, he was prone to panic and overreaction, so his mind immediately went to the worst possible place, imagining your car overturned in a ditch or you alone, overrun by a group of dangerous men.

Unbuckling Madi from her car seat, he wrapped her in his arms and sprinted up the walkway and through the front door, calling your name, holding onto one last shred of hope that you would be there. But nothing. No response. He saw the plates set out on the table, the beginning of this entire disastrous situation on full display. He saw your bedroom, completely untouched. All of your things were still neatly stacked in your closet, which relieved his anxiety slightly. At least you hadn’t packed up and left him. Or at least, if you had, you hadn’t taken your things with you.

Setting Madi down in her play room, Shawn whipped out his phone again, this time calling everyone you knew. Friends. Family. Anyone who could have possibly heard from you. However, he didn’t have any luck. Everyone he talked to hadn’t heard from you all day, which only made him more fearful. Where could you possibly be?

Overcome with worry, Shawn finally calls one last number, waiting as the line rings before the familiar voice finally picks up.

“Mom?” He asks. “Can you watch Madi for a while? There’s an emergency.”

***

Groaning, you placed your arm firmly over your eyes to block the sun peeking through the curtains. Your head was pounding from both lack of sleep and the seemingly endless amount of tears that you had shed last night.

After running out of the ER, you knew you couldn’t go back home. Shawn clearly didn’t want you there and he was probably right in assuming that Madi wouldn’t want to see you either. You had nearly killed her after all. You hiccupped at that thought, a fresh batch of tears coming in as the events of the previous day replayed in your mind once again. Reaching toward the side table near the bed in the hotel room you had purchased for the night, you grabbed a fresh tissue, wiping your eyes and blowing your nose loudly.

Sitting up, you rubbed your sore eyes before walking into the bathroom to wash your face and make yourself somewhat presentable for the day ahead. You knew before anything you had to go to Shawn’s and get your stuff. In the haste to get to the ER and obviously not anticipating such a big blowout between you and your boyfriend, all of your things were currently at the house, including your phone charger. Sighing, you tossed your phone on the bed, realizing it was dead and probably had been for quite some time now. Shawn would usually get after you about keeping your phone battery charged in case of emergencies and he needed to contact you or vice versa. However, you weren’t too worried about that right now, doubting that Shawn would want to talk to you anytime soon. The things he said had been extremely hurtful. Yes, you understood that it was a high-stress situation and his daughter’s safety had been at risk, but you didn’t think you deserved to be spoken to in such a way. The worst part was not knowing if he had meant what he said or not. Were those things he had yelled in the heat of the moment, or was that really how he felt? Did he really not see you as a part of his family despite what he had always seemed to imply regarding your role in their lives?

You shook your head as if to clear it. If you continued down that thought trail, you would be a mess of tears again soon enough.

As you finished getting ready, you tried your best to keep your mind away from the situation at hand, knowing that you would completely break down. Shawn was the love of your life. He was your entire future. At least that was what you thought up until yesterday. And Madi. You knew you weren’t her biological mother, but you had always had a special bond with her and you liked to think that she was beginning to look at you as a motherly figure. Although it hurt that Shawn had blown up and blamed you for the entire situation, what hurt the most was his adamancy that you were not Madi’s mother and never would be. As your relationship with Shawn progressed, you thought that the two of you were on the same page when it came to Madi. You would never push her into something she was not ready for, but you would love her and care for her just as any mother would care for their child. In your eyes, and you had thought in Shawn’s eyes too, she was your daughter in every sense of the word but blood.

You groaned again, tears of hurt and frustration once again leaking out of your eyes. Hastily wiping them away, you grabbed your purse and the hotel room key, preparing yourself for the difficult afternoon ahead. You didn’t quite know what to expect when you arrived at the house, but if this is what Shawn wanted, you weren’t going to force yourself on either him or Madi. You loved them both dearly and if this was what was best for the two of them, you would go along with it without a fight.

***

Pulling into the driveway, Shawn turned the ignition off and rested his head against the steering wheel in both exhaustion and worry. He had been driving around all night in search of you. As soon as his mom had arrived to watch Madi, he took off, going to every place he thought you might be, but turning up empty. He had messed up, and now he feared he had lost you forever.

Shawn stayed in the car, knowing that as soon as he went inside he would be faced with several questions from Madi and he didn’t have any answers to give her at the moment. However, after a few more minutes, his ears perked up as he heard the sound of a familiar engine. Head snapping up, he looked in the direction of the sound and sure enough, there was your car making its way down the road and stopping right behind his in the driveway. Without hesitating, Shawn ripped the car door open and sprinted over to you as you made your way out of your own car.

“Y/N!” Shawn shouted in relief, bounding up to you and wrapping you tightly in his arms. “Where have you been? I’ve been so worried about you!”

You were stiff in his arms, not expecting this reaction from your boyfriend at all. You had mentally prepared yourself for cold looks and harsh comments, not worry and bear hugs.

Feeling your reluctance to return his embrace, he pulled away from you slightly to gaze into your eyes. “What’s wrong sweetheart? Where did you go?”

“I went to a hotel,” you murmured cautiously, trying to match this Shawn up with the one you last saw ordering you to leave the ER the day before. “I didn’t think you’d want me around after yesterday.”

Shawn grabbed your chin, forcing you to keep eye contact with him. “Baby, listen to me. I am so sorry about what I said to you, I didn’t mean one word of it,” he urged, eyes boring into your own as he willed you to believe the words he was saying now and forget the hurtful, untrue ones he had said yesterday. “I allowed my fear and panic to overtake my words and actions. I was so terrified that something so horrible could have happened to Madi that I jumped down your throat unfairly. It’s not your fault, sweetheart. I know you didn’t do it on purpose and I know you were just as scared as I was, and I certainly didn’t help with that.”

You looked up at him shyly through your eyelashes, cautiously taking in his every word. “I love you, baby. So much. And so does Madi. You mean the world to the both of us and I don’t know what we’d do without you. She actually got after me for treating you the way I did,” he admitted, a brief smile gracing his perfect lips. “Deserved every bit of that toddler wrath, too. I was horrible to you,” he sighed. “Can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?”

He looked at you intensely, biting his lip in anticipation as he waited for your response. His anxiety grew as you remained silent, gaze now set firmly on the ground.

“Baby, look at me, please,” he begged, tears springing to his eyes as the fear of losing you skyrocketed.

Sniffling, your eyes met his once again, his heart breaking as he saw the hurt and brokenness reflected in your irises. “Did you mean what you said? That I’m not Madi’s mom and I never will be? I mean . . . I know I’m not her actual mom, obviously, but I thought you wanted me to be that motherly figure for her, and I thought we were actually getting there . . . I just -“

Shawn began shaking his head vehemently as you continued, finally interrupting you when he could no longer hear any more. “No, baby, no!” He exclaimed. “Gosh, I’m so sorry I ever said those things to you. So sorry I ever made you doubt your importance to this family! But that’s what we are, sweetheart. We’re a family. We may be a little dysfunctional, but I love it. I love us. You are the perfect mother to Madi, you are the love of my life, and you are the mother of any future children we may have. You love me so well. You love MADI so well. I can’t imagine where we would be without you. Just know that what I said yesterday did not have even the smallest ounce of truth. You’re perfect, baby. I love you and Madi loves you. You are our missing puzzle piece.”

Overcome with emotion, you broke down, tears streaming down your face as you threw yourself into Shawn’s arms, burying your face in his strong chest.

“Shhhh,” he cooed, stroking your back and pressing soft kisses to your head. “I’m so sorry,” he kept repeating. “I love you so much.”

After a couple minutes, your cries began to die down enough for you to pull away and look back up at Shawn, who also had tears streaming down his face. “I really am sorry, Shawn,” you murmured.

“Shh, shh, shh, it’s okay, baby. It was an honest mistake. We both just need to be more careful from now, on but thank God Madi’s okay. You’re okay. We’re all okay. Alright?”

You nodded, eyes closing in contentment as Shawn pressed another sweet kiss to your forehead.

“We are okay, right?” He asked hesitantly after he pulled away, eyes searching your own.

“Yeah, we’re okay,” you smiled, fingers intertwining with his own and giving a reassuring squeeze.

“Good,” he grinned, his heart settling and feeling like all was finally well after an entire day of fear, uncertainty, and pain.

“I love you,” you murmured sweetly, blinking up at him.

A content smile made its way across his face. “I love you too, sweetheart,” he cooed, one hand coming up to cup your cheek as he brought his lips forward to meet your own in a passionate kiss.

You both pulled away after a few moments, sighing in contentment.

“Now,” he interrupted. “I think there’s someone who probably wants to see you.”

You grinned, bouncing on your toes, knowing exactly who he was talking about. Although you knew Madi was going to be fine when you left the hospital yesterday, you technically hadn’t seen her since she was still in the midst of an allergic reaction and struggling to breathe. You needed to see her and hug her in order to truly calm your fears. Luckily for you, the nosy little four-year-old had seemingly been watching your interaction from the window, because not two seconds after Shawn had said that, you heard the front door slam open followed by the sounds of excited giggles and running feet.

“Y/N!” She shouted, bounding up to you and jumping into your arms.

You squeezed her tightly, holding her to yourself and sending up a prayer of thanks that she was alive and well. You hadn’t been exaggerating when you said you saw her as a daughter. You truly loved this little girl. She had easily wormed her way into your heart and there was no going back. She had you wrapped around her little finger and always would, until the day you died.

“I missed you so much,” she sighed, tightening her grip on you as if afraid you would disappear again.

“I missed you too,” you promised, glancing over at Shawn, who had the most content look on his face as he watched the love that flowed so easily and freely between his two favorite girls.

“Thank you for saving me, mama,” Madi murmured shyly, burrowing herself further into the crook of your neck.

Eyes widening in shock, you looked up at Shawn to make sure he had heard the same thing and that you weren’t going crazy. Judging by his open mouth and wide eyes, you assumed you hadn’t made the whole thing up. Madi had actually called you mama!

You had never pressured her, but you had always secretly hoped she would one day feel comfortable enough to refer to you as her mom. It had been so long though that you had kind of given up on that thought, but now here you were!

Your hold on her tightened and you pressed a lingering kiss to her head. “I love you so much, baby, I’ll always be there for you.”

Shawn watched your interaction, fighting back tears as he was overcome by emotion. After having Madi and living as a single dad for so long, Shawn never could have imagined that anyone would fit so perfectly into his and his daughter’s lives. That was until he had met you. You had come in and surprised them both, worming your way into their hearts and filling a hole that they didn’t even realize was there. You were their missing piece and they were yours.

Shawn stepped forward and enveloped the both of you into his arms, pressing kisses to both of your faces and grinning as you both started giggling. His girls. His family.

Hope this was a satisfying end! This was my first time writing multi-part fics! Let me know what you think and if I should do more! Please send any requests you might have and leave some feedback! I love hearing what you guys have to say!

Tag List: @shawn-youth @claredolphinbear24 @helpmemendes @imaginesofdreams @shawnnyyyboiii @crookedly-unique-student @perfectlywrong @alluringshawn @styles-dolan @maaacrisss @lady-of-lies @olivia99louise @strangerliaa @ashwarren32 @shawn-youth @cherrysruin @sunshine-ruins @futuremrspcy @curlsofshawn @bruhh-whateven @alittlebittyuniverse @lanallaa @good-vibes-and-glitter @shawnyslilmuffin @mendesficsxbombay @copper-boom @supercarricat

#shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes fluff #magicalmarauder #dad!shawn #reader insert #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes oneshot

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writingblock101 · 4 years

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Still An Asshole (Jason Todd x Reader)

Part 1

Thank you for all the love on part one! Here is part two! Enjoy!

Summary: As an ER nurse, you deal with a lot of shit, but Red Hood is not one of those things.

Warnings: Injuries are mentioned? It’s not very gory, this is very dialog heavy

Tags: @combative5sos

Word Count: 2,700

You quietly shut the door behind you and stare at the wall. You’ve been a nurse for a long time. You’ve seen more tragedies than you can count, but today was probably the worst day of your career.

Some psychopath blew up an elementary school. An elementary school.

The number of survivors kept dropping the longer your shift went on until you felt ready to break, but you couldn’t. You had to put on a strong face, stay in your nursing mode and help those that you could.

But now you aren’t at the hospital.

Your back slides down the door as you collapse to the floor, openly crying. Your shoulders shake as you sob into your hands, barely able to breathe.

Who would do this? Who would want to hurt children?

Tears stream down your face and you curl in on yourself then there’s a pair of hands helping you to your feet. You barely open your eyes, but you accept the hug, knowing exactly who is in your apartment despite the fact that moments ago, you were curled against the door.

“It’s okay,” Red murmurs to you, stroking your hair.

You’re not sure how long he holds you in your kitchen, but eventually, you pull away, hiccuping.

“You okay?” He asks.

You nod tearfully, wiping your eyes then frown at Red. He isn’t visible hurt, so why is he here?

“Are you hurt?” You ask, wiping your nose.

“No, I’m fine.”

You frown again.

“Why are you here then?”

“I heard about the bombing… I wanted to check on you,” He adds sheepishly. “Are you okay?”

You stare at him for a moment, then in spite of yourself, your eyes well up again. Red guides you over to the couch where you sit down, hands in your hair and tears spilling over.

“I just... I don’t understand,” You hiccup. “How could someone hurt children? How could someone…” Your voice cracks and your breathing stutters. “How could someone blow up a school?”

Red says nothing, just rubs your back and listens.

“You know, I don’t agree with murder,” You start. “But even murder makes a little sense! Like, you had a grudge or you were angry or you were caught on the wrong day or whatever but how, just how can someone formulate the idea of blowing up a school full of children and actually follow through with it?!”

You start sobbing again, hiding your face in your hands.

“This one little boy,” You hiccup. “He was in 4th grade. His name was Zach. He was so scared. He asked me to hold his hand because his mom wasn’t there yet. And I watched the life leave his eyes,” You pause for a moment, covering your face then slowly lookup. “That parent dropped off their son at school, thinking he would be safe, that they would see him again later that day, alive and well, but I watched as he died. I watched so many parents sob over their child’s body because some… some psychopath thinks they're entitled or something!” Your voice raises as you become more angry. “Because they think the world owes them something! That blowing up this school and killing all those children will get them something!”

You sigh, all your energy leaving your body. You watch as your tears run off your nose for a moment before quietly admitting to the coffee table.

“I don’t know, Red. Maybe you’re onto something with this whole idea of some people deserving to die. Maybe I’m just too naive.”

You feel his hand freeze on your back, but you’re too upset to wonder if you said something wrong.

“No, come on, Y/N,” He pulls your shoulders so you’re sitting upright and wipes your tears with his thumbs. “You don’t mean that.”

“Maybe I do!” You exclaim, pushing his hands down. “Maybe there are just shit bags in this world who don’t deserve a second chance! Maybe I’m an idiot for thinking that people can change…”

“No, come on. You see bad shit every day and you still see the good in people--”

“Exactly! I see how bad people are! How can I of all people think they deserve a second chance?! How can I think people can change when I’ve seen the same family come into ER three times because they’ve beat their five year old too hard but we don’t have enough evidence to help that child?! How can I think people can change when I’ve watched doctors stitch up the same dealer handcuffed to the bed four times when I know damn well I will see him back in the same position in a few months when he’s out of prison?! I see it, and I know you’re right but I chose to ignore it and that makes me an idiot. A stupid, naive, idiot.”

Red’s shoulders sag.

“You’re not an idiot, Y/N, and you’re definitely not naive. You’ve seen so much shit but you still fight tooth and nail with me about killing criminals. Criminals. We don’t need more people in this city that think like me. We need more people like you. We need people who still have faith in others. Don’t let this asshole change that.”

You smile tearfully.

“You know, I never realized until you said my name that I don’t know your name… I also never told you my name but I also never told you my job, much less where I live, or had even met you before you just showed up, and yet,” You gesture to him sitting on your couch. “Here you are.”

“Exactly,” He agrees. “Here I am because you believe in people. Even dirtbags like me that kill people. Yeah, you argue about morals all day with me, but you’re also stitching me up when you do it. You’ve never turned me away because you see good in people. You haven’t liked me from day one but it hasn’t stopped you from helping me.”

“Well, you did threaten me with a gun the first few times we met,” You laugh, wiping away tears.

“You always try to pull that on me, but don’t think I forgot that you called me on my shit with that gun.”

“It was clear that you don’t have enough people in your life to call you out.”

He chuckles.

“I actually do, but I just don’t listen.”

“And you listen to me?”

“Not really,” He admits.

You smile sadly, but put a hand on top of his.

“Thank you for coming by to check on me.”

“Of course,” He nods. “You always help me out when I’m bleeding or have something dislocated, so it’s the least I can do,” He stands up and walks toward the window.

He opens the window and starts to step out by hesitates then turns back toward you.

“You can call me Jay.”

“Jay it is,” You smile, giving him a wave.

He seems awkward, unsure of how to respond but gives back a small wave then steps out the window and disappears.

Maybe Red Hood Jay isn’t that bad…

. . .

Maybe it was because of the nature of your last encounter with the Red Hood, but you didn’t seem to mind finding him in your apartment; however, that nonchalance quickly went away when you realized he was bleeding profusely from his neck.

“Holy shit!” You exclaim, dropping your stuff. “What the hell happened?!” You demand.

Jay chuckles, leaning heavily against your counter with one arm, his other holding bloody gauze to his neck.

“Well, I went after that bigger fish I mentioned.”

You grab your trauma bag which you started storing next to the couch and quickly snap a pair of gloves. Forcing him to sit at the counter, you peel his hand back to investigate the wound.

“Yeah, looks like it went really well,” You retort, digging disinfectant out of your bag, but you stop and frown then look back at Jay.

“No helmet tonight?”

“Took it off.”

“But you’re wearing a mask?”

“Yeah, I’ve always had it on.”

“Under the helmet?”

“Yeah.”

“And you’ve done that every night?”

“Yeah.”

You blink.

“Why the fuck do you wear a mask under the helmet?”

“It was for dramatic effect, okay?!” He snaps.

“...What?!”

Jay groans.

“Will you just keep me from dying?!”

“You’re not gonna die,” You roll your eyes then resume cleaning his wound.

Though you’re slightly miffed to admit this, Jay is pretty cute, even with the mask and bleeding profusely from his neck.

“You said you did this going after that “bigger fish”?” You ask.

“Yeah,” He mutters back, staring at the countertop.

“So, who is this bigger fish?”

“Joker.”

You whistle lowly, preparing your sutures now that the wound is clean.

“Yeah, that’s definitely a bigger fish,” You admit. “He got you good,” You start stitching up the wound.

“Joker didn’t do this to me,” Jay snaps.

“Okay,” You roll your eyes. “Then who did?”

“Batman,” He mutters.

“What’s your beef with Batman, you know, other than the obvious reasons?”

“It’s a long story.”

“Given how deep and long this cut is,” You gesture to his shoulder. “You’re going to be here for a while, so come on, indulge me.”

“I indulged you last time you stitched me up,” He grumbles.

“No, you didn’t. You were cryptic as shit and none of it made sense.”

“Yeah, well it doesn’t make a lot of sense for me either!” Jay snaps.

You roll your eyes again. You find yourself doing that a lot around him.

“Shut up. You were being purposefully cryptic. I didn’t realize how much arm twisting I would have to do to get a straight answer from you.”

“I have given you straight answers.”

“With absolutely no context you, little shit, so it doesn’t count.”

Jay sighs again.

“Fine. The beef I have with Batman started when I was Robin.”

You sit back for a moment, staring at him in wonder.

“No shit? You were Robin?” You frown. “I thought Robin became Nightwing?”

Jay grimaces.

“Different Robin. I was the one after. Anyways, I was Robin and me and Bats didn’t have the same ideas for how to handle Gotham thugs--”

“I see a lot has changed,” You mutter.

“If you interrupt me, I’m not going to tell you shit,” He snaps.

You mimic him under your breath, but stay silent.

“Anyways,” He continues. “Long story short, I got murdered by the Joker and six months later woke up in a coffin,” Jay frowns as he recalls the events. “It gets a little fuzzy about what happened from there, but really the gist that you need to know is that I found out that Joker was still running around, alive and well, despite literally murdering me, so I came back to finish the job and find out how the fuck Batman was justifying keeping him alive.”

He scoffs, shaking his head.

“The bastard didn’t have the guts to kill him. So this whole crusade I’ve been on was to draw out the Joker and Batman so I could confront Batman and kill Joker.”

“So,” You frown. “Is Joker dead?”

“No, that’s where this lovely cut your stitching up came from,” He grumbles. “Damn bastard hit me with a Batarang.”

“The Joker?”

“Why would the fucking Joker hit me with a Batarang?”

“I don’t know! He killed you once already.”

Jay pauses.

“Fair, but no, Joker isn’t dead because I’m not dead.”

“I’m not following…”

“Joker building blew up while all three of us were still in it. Batman got out, meaning he took Joker with him and I obviously got myself out.”

“Wow, you have had a long night,” You agree, tying the last knot on his stitches. “And it sounds like you need a drink.”

“I’ve needed a drink since digging myself out of that damn coffin,” He mumbled while you cover his stitches with bandages.

“Fair,” You sit back once finishing. “I’ve got Vodka, Captain Morgans, and Bourbon.”

“Rum sounds good.”

You nod, then stand up then start making the drinks, rum and Coke for Jay, and Bourbon and Coke for yourself.

“I know I’m not the medical expert here, but I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to drink alcohol after getting stitches,” Jay calls from his spot at the counter but you wave him off.

“You died and came back to life. I’m certainly not going to be able to kill your ass with some liquor,” You hand him his glass.

“True,” He holds his glass to you. “Thanks for helping me to not die.”

You smile, clicking your glass against his and take a long sip.

“While stitches were a big part of why I came here,” Jay says after taking a sip of his drink. “There is something else I want to ask you.”

You raise your eyebrows.

“Okay, shoot.”

“I’m getting together a... team of sorts,” He says.

“Of sorts?” You ask.

“Yeah, don’t be expecting any girl scouts. But a team of people who can finish the job.”

“A team of mercenaries,” You translate.

“Whatever. Would you be interested in joining us?”

“As an assassin?”

“I was thinking more of a team doctor unless you have some secret hobbies I didn’t know about.”

“Why me?”

“Well, you’ve saved my life on more than one occasion. Also, you call me out on my shit, which I might occasionally need--”

“More than occasionally,” You interject.

“Watch it,” He growls.

“Or what?”

“Also, you’re not scared of me, so you’re definitely not going to be scared of anyone else I bring on board.”

You take another sip of your drink and stare at Jay for a long moment. It would be different, probably unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before, but are you truly on board with this lifestyle? Are you ready to completely uproot your life to join Red? You’re not sure.

“And,” He starts sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. “There was one other reason that I’m asking you.”

You raise an eyebrow.

“Yeah?” You ask. “What is it?”

He pauses for a second, chewing the inside of his cheek, then takes another long sip of his drink and stands up.

“I’d prefer to show you,” He smirks, but you can tell he’s full of shit.

He’s nervous, but he’s trying to pretend he’s not. You’ve grown to know Jay solely by his voice, so adding his facial features gives way to a whole new form of communication that leaves Jay much more vulnerable to giving away his true thoughts. He seems aware of this, hence the helmet, and of course, bullets constantly being aimed at him.

You tilt your head at him, your mind creating one hypothesis just as quickly for another thought to shoot it down. He rounds the counter and reaches out to hold your hip with one hand, his other on the back of your neck, giving you plenty of time to pull away, but you don’t.

Instead, you grab the front of his shirt and pull him into a kiss. He tenses for a moment, probably surprised that you ended up being the one to initiate the kiss, but he relaxes, pulling you closer to him. You break away, his forehead against yours.

If you went with Jay, you’d have to start over, but would that really be that bad? You don’t think so.

“Oh, what the hell?” You grin. “Count me in.”

He grins and kisses you again.

“In that case, the next thing you should know,” He reaches up and takes his mask off. “My name is Jason Todd. Nice to officially meet you.”

“Wow, you’re pretty hot for a zombie.”

He rolls his blue eyes.

“So,” You ask, jumping up on the counter. “Does this team have a name?”

Jason moves to stand between your legs, bracing his arms on the counter behind you.

“I was thinking The Outlaws.”

“That’s a dumb name.”

“I take back my offer.”

You stick your tongue out and kiss him again.

“No, you don’t.”

Red Hood, Jay, Jason Todd or whoever the fuck, yeah he’s an asshole, but you’re willingly stuck with him now, so you guess he isn’t that bad.

Logically, would Jason have an autopsy scar? Probably not, but I don’t care, I like the idea. Also, who blew up the school? Dunno, thought about making it Bludhaven considering that actually gets blown up during Under the Red Hood, but as you see, this is fanfiction and I did whatever fit the story instead of following the comic.

Hope you enjoyed it! I absolutely loved writing it! If y’all ever want to be tagged, just shoot me a message! Also, I do take request, but disclaimer00 I can’t guarantee the speed they will be done because I am a student and I like to write things I’m proud of so I don’t want to give you a shitty piece just for the sake of having it done.

#Jason Todd #Red Hood #Jason Todd x reader #red hood x reader #jason todd imagine #red hood imagine #jason todd headcanon #red hood headcanons #DC #DC comics #batman #batfam #violence #outline #red hood and the outlaws

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angstymarshmallow · 5 years

Text

Overworked (Ethan Ramsey x MC)

[A little note: To the anon that asked me for a ethan x mc fic, I’ve been working on one ever since and I’ve refused to stop until it was done. I’m still in the figuring out stage, but at this point where I think Ethan and MC are in their...whatever it is, this seemed like an appropriate place to start and discover that. Thank you for your request, I hope you enjoy :D]

[Words Counted: 2831].

Sawyer knew better than the next to take the case home with her.

She tried telling herself countless of times after every night of leaving Edenbrook hospital; she was leaving work behind her. She was putting aside the job, until she had to do it all over again tomorrow.

It was a lot saner that way.

But the truth was – every case stuck to her; every case weighed her down like cinder-blocks tied to her feet. She could barely see the surface anymore.

Her mother had always teased her about it. She was too emphatic, she always said – she felt too deeply, and cared too much. But Sawyer had never thought about it as a curse. It was a blessing to care about people – she wanted to become a doctor to help people.

Still, Sawyer knew it was hard. She had already seen her fair share of people try and fail doing the same. She saw cracks in their armor while they were on call, saw some of them fall apart almost completely when she ventured and caught another intern inside a storage closet – crying or taking a moment just to breathe. She didn’t want it to linger, the way it was now. But in her vow to help people, came the responsibility of such a task. It came with putting overtime hours and heading back home too late to eat anything more than a midnight snack. It came with overworking herself.

Although she knew – she was still here, doing it all over again. Despite the warnings. Despite her friends’ and her mother’s insistent. She couldn’t help it; it was just simply who she was – and it was why she was currently going through Kyra Santana’s file.

Her patient might have given up; but she wouldn’t. Cancer is something they could fight; something Sawyer took too deeply when she considered her own family. She wouldn’t abandon Kyra – even if she couldn’t see how much she needed her, herself.

It was why she was currently at her desk; reading over Kyra’s charts – analyzing her blood work.

It didn’t look good.

The cancer was aggressive, already spreading further than Sawyer anticipated. Sighing, she tapped her pen against her clipboard. Treatment was the only option – and Kyra would keep fighting her tooth and nail about it.

Rubbing her eyes, Sawyer dropped her clipboard by the corner of her desk.

“A penny for your thoughts?”

She hadn’t heard Ethan, which spoke volumes for how tired she was. At the sound of his voice, she jumped before glancing up warily at him. She met his impossibly crystal eyes with a blank stare until he emphatically repeated his question.

“Oh!” She smiled ruefully, “sorry. I’ve just been…” she trailed off, gesturing at her clipboard and biting her lower lip before staring back up at him. “Going through a patient’s blood work.”

Well, ex-patient at the rate this rate. Kyra hadn’t been back since they talked.

Ethan searched her face before making a motion behind him. “Follow me rookie.”

Blinking, Sawyer hesitated for a moment before dutifully following behind him. She kept her gaze rooted to his back as they disappeared within an empty hall. It was mostly quiet around this time at the hospital anyway; with only the overnight staff still present.

When he turned to face her, Sawyer had nearly ran into him. “It’s Kyra, isn’t it?” His face softened a fraction and for a moment, Sawyer could see the softer side of him – the side he often buried in front of others. It was only too bad that within seconds it was gone.

Sawyer stood, stretching and wincing at how sore her muscles were from being on her feet all day. “Yes, and it’s not good news.” She sighed, “it’s worse.”

“I’m sorry.” He offered simply, slipping his hands into his coat. “I know… how hard this must be on you.”

She nodded absently, but she was bracing for it. She was waiting for the I-told-you-so from him. He knew from experience. She was starting to learn what he preached and in her first few months here, she was starting to feel worn and rundown. “You warned me this would happen,” she took a deep breath. “You told me to be prepared for the inevitable, and I’m…” she was fighting for the right words, “…hallow, numb.” She ran her fingers through her bright hair; shaking her head after she glanced away. “Kyra isn’t gone but already I feel like I’ve failed her.”

“You haven’t failed her.” He said a matter-of-factly, taking a step closer. He was suddenly crowding her vision. He was close enough for her to see the slight flecks in his eyes.

Sawyer blinked up at him in alarm when she felt his hands on her shoulders.

“She’s still here.”

“But she wants to stop fighting. She wants it to win.” Grief had changed her voice; made it crack as Sawyer dropped her eyes to her feet. “I want her to keep fighting but – she doesn’t want to anymore.” She knew how bad it could, how much cancer took from everything. She’d seen it nearly destroy her family. “I know I should respect that. I know and yet…yet I - She’s tired, and I –” she cleared her throat, “I can’t stop myself from going over her file – wondering what we did wrong, what I did wrong –” She felt his arms around her then, felt his quiet breath atop her head as he hugged her tentatively – as if to ask is this okay? But it was more than okay, it was what Sawyer hadn’t realized she needed until she buried her face into his chest and simply breathed the comforting scent of his aftershave.

“It’s alright.” His tone was uncharacteristically gentle. “It’s alright.”

She took a moment to listen to his steady heartbeat, letting the sound of it become her guide to breathe. She inhaled deeply, clutching onto him; her knuckles going white while he continued to repeat the same words, over and over again against her ear.

It wasn’t until Ethan interrupted the silence between them with a clear of his throat that she realized her mistake. She had overstepped again. Her fingers froze and slowly she unclenched her hands from his shirt. “Sorry,” Sawyer mumbled, pulling away first.

He had been very clear about their boundaries since the first time they kissed. Boundaries, she did not share.

“Don’t be.” There was a splash of colour to his cheeks. “I offered.” He took another step back, creating more distance between them and making it much easier for Sawyer to find her footing again despite the surge of disappointment at the motion.

“I figured you needed a moment….to put yourself back together again.” Ethan’s gaze turned solemn, “and what you’re going through is something we all go through. Sooner or later we spread ourselves too thin, when we care so much.” His eyes searched hers’ and she felt her throat go dry from the intensity of his stare.

Is that how you feel about Dr. Banerji? She had almost spoken the words aloud before biting her lips firmly in an attempt to stop herself. That was the second subject she had almost breached today – and in public none the less.

As though reading her thoughts, he looked away. “And I know better than most.”

Sawyer ensured her voice was low as she spoke; keeping her attention half on him and the other half down the hall as a nurse appeared. “Has Dr. Banaerji’s condition – ”

“No.” He interjected. “Not since the last time you saw him.”

She relaxed a fraction, absently placing a hand on his arm for comfort before thinking better of it. “There’s that at least. No change is still good news.”

“And yet not very reassuring.” He murmured. It was his turn to look a little desolate, a little more lost than Sawyer felt after the day she’s had. And to think – she used to believe he didn’t care about anyone or anything. Now she knew better. She understood how much he cared about people, even if he wasn’t in the habit of showing it.

Without thinking Sawyer stepped closer to Ethan, watching the way his eyes widened in surprise as she gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “It’s alright.” She uttered softly. “He has you, he has us.”

There was a question in his eyes as his free hand reached between them, almost as though to cup her cheek. At the last second, he went completely still – stopping his hand in mid-motion as the breath in Sawyer’s throat left in a barely cohesive sound.

Ethan cleared his throat, the strain visible along the smooth lines of his face as he withdrew his hand out of her solid grip. “You should get some sleep, Hutton. You can’t save people when you can barely save yourself.” Almost a little awkwardly, his other hand patted her on the back.

“Uh right,” Sawyer forced a laugh, tucking a stray strand of blonde hair behind her ear. “I suppose it is getting rather late.” She checked the time on her watch. Shoot. She wasn’t getting any sleep tonight – maybe a nap, if she was lucky in traffic.

“I’ll walk you to your car.”

She glanced up at him.

The offer surprised her.

He looked taken aback himself at the words but made no move to deflect. Trying not to sound eager, she agreed. “Uh, sure…just let me get my stuff on.” She swallowed back the sudden excitement. Get a grip Hutton. But the thought of being alone with Ethan made her heart race a little faster, made her fingers shake as she tucked them behind her back. Smiling timidly at him, she managed a little wave before she backtracked towards her desk, “I’ll meet you at the front?”

Ethan nodded, offering her a small sample of a smile in return before retreating in the opposite direction.

The walk to the entrance hadn’t helped.

In fact, it seemed to draw out the anticipation somehow– although what for; Sawyer couldn’t decide. She knew better than to hold onto any semblance of hope after their last conversation. He wanted her to succeed and her success meant they could never work, not even in her wildest dreams.

Still, she wanted him – wanted him to want her, and he was beginning to take him too much space inside her head. She couldn’t let go; she was stubborn that way and his offer to walk her out felt more than something you did for a simple friend.

Maybe she reading too much into nothing.

No. She shook her head vehemently.

It was the way he blurted out the words and the surprise in his eyes afterwards which made her think differently; gave her hope that he was beginning to change.

There was a flutter in her chest as she discerned his familiar tall figure by the front of the building.

His lips were pressed into a firm line when she spotted him, and made her believe she had caught him thinking. From the broody look on his face, she can’t imagine it was anything good.

The smile across her lips faltered. “Ethan?” She asked uncertainly, “a penny for your thoughts?”

“Hmm? Oh.” His brow creased.

“Still thinking about our patient x?” Although there was no one around as they walked, she still kept her voice down – just in case.

“That and among other things.”

When he didn’t continue, Sawyer prompted him with a questioning stare, “…such as?” Did she dare believe? Did she dare think the discussion they had closed off weeks ago was still playing inside his head like a loop in hers’?

Ethan didn’t answer, not right away. Instead, he tucked his hands inside his jacket as they crossed the nearly empty parking lot. His voice was soft when he spoke again, causing her to almost lose her footing. “We’re not fools, Hutton. We can both see what’s going on.”

They were nearly to her car – three empty rows ahead. Sawyer tucked her hands inside her jacket as she turned to look at him. He was talking about them – the one subject that they had tittered across the edge on; dangerously before. When stopped short the same moment he did, her car was only a foot away. And the look in his eyes, stole her breath away.

Those piercing crystals held a mixture of longing – loneliness that made her want to reach out and touch him. She clenched her fingers around the soft texture of her pockets in order to stop herself from giving into the sudden temptation. “Ethan, if we’re talking about what I think we’re talking about…”

“But that’s just it. There can’t be anything Sawyer.” His throat had gone a little hoarse as he drew in a visibly long breath of air. “You have so much potential, so much and I would hate to see it jeopardized by anything…even if that anything is –” his eyes dropped lower – to the slight gaping of her mouth and then back to the startled expression in her eyes, “me.”

Sawyer sucked in a breath. Words that she would have said were now lost as she scrambled to keep up with him. “You’re forgetting something – that isn’t only just your choice. You don’t get to decide for me, I do.” She lifted her chin defiantly. “You think I don’t know the risks? You think I don’t rationalize all the reasons why I shouldn’t be thinking about you –” she poked a finger to chest angrily, not realizing the amount of distance between them had almost disappeared. “I get it, I do – but I’m still here. I still want to smile every time I see you; I still want to run my fingers through your hair and laugh whenever you make a snark remark –” her voice had lost it’s steam and every word she spoke grew softer and softer. “- I want to hold you close and bury my face into your shirt –” it was all spilling out too quick for her to take back - all the feelings she had to repress and when she felt his hands suddenly cupping her cheek, she stopped short to peer up at him.

“Sawyer…I can’t.” Agony shone in his eyes, burning all the way through her heart.

Feeling bold, she stood on her tip toes and enclosed her slender arms around his neck. “You can.”

He kissed her then, with a strangled gasp he slammed his mouth against hers and brought her to his chest with an impossibly strong yet gentle grip. He kissed her soundly, relentlessly – plunging his tongue in between her parted lips as she uttered a quiet gasp of her own.

His lean hips guided her against the hood of the car and without releasing her, he sat her atop as she buried her fingers in his hair.

Sawyer felt her desire for him grow with every kiss; yes yes – every nerve inside her seemed to whisper as longing for him welled inside her chest.

“What are you doing to me?” His breathing was ragged and he groaned as she sunk her teeth into his lower lip, nipping gently as he pressed intimately into her.

The rationale side of her knew they should stop, knew that he was right in placing some much-needed space between – but the rest of her didn’t care. She had never felt like this before; never felt such a constant pull to someone that refused to be ignored. “The same thing you do to me, Ethan.” She replied in between kisses, “and I want more.”

The sudden alarm of Sawyer’s car caused them both to jump at the same time.

Ethan scrambled away, cheeks flushing as Sawyer slid down off the hood. He avoided her gaze as he cleared his throat and made a considerable amount of room between them.

She did the same; and wanted nothing more than to bury herself under some kind of rock – after losing control completely. She hadn’t meant to voice so much of her thoughts. Oh god, why didn’t he stop me? That was unlike her, to be so forward someone she barely knew!

Ethan couldn’t even look at her.

Humiliation made her cheeks stung. “I – I should go.” She stammered, breaking the silence first. Stepping past him, she shakily grabbed her keys from out of her pockets and started her car.

“Hutton –”

She paused by the door handle. Don’t look at him. Just get in the car and drive. But she couldn’t stop herself. It was like something cosmic had overcome her better sense and she looked back.

He was standing where she left him, with his hands tucked inside his jacket – with a flurry of emotions in his eyes before he pressed his lips into a firm line. “Have a safe trip home.”

“You too.” Swallowing back her disappointment, Sawyer slid inside her car and closed the door behind her.

tags: @cora-nova

#ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #open heart fanfiction #open heart #ethan ramsey x mc fanfiction #playchoices fanfic #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey x sawyer hutton #long post #fic request #an angstymarshmallow writes #playchoices fanfiction #ethan ramsey fanfiction #playchoices #choices stories you play #and now I can go to work knowing I finished #thanks again for your request anon!#mutual pinning is something I haven't done in awhile hue

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idolizerp · 6 years

Photo

[ LOADING INFORMATION ON GALAXY’S MAIN VOCALIST HWAN…. ]

DETAILS

CURRENT AGE: 20 DEBUT AGE: 17 SKILL POINTS: 13 VOCAL | 07 DANCE | 00 RAP | 10 PERFORMANCE

INTERVIEW

the little prince.

now, really, midas media couldn’t have come up with a better brand even if they had tried. the little prince was a household name: shot straight out of the stars, wide-eyed, cradling his beating, tender heart. dropped on this earth to question a world of grown-ups, who had all forgotten what was truly important in their every day lives. "it is only with the heart that one can see rightly,” so the novel had said. “what is essential is invisible to the eye.“

and what did the heart see?

midas’ heart set its sights on the one and only lee hwan. lee hwan, the poster child for Everything An Idol Should Be. lee hwan, the veteran trainee. lee hwan, the resident baby genius. cut from only the best cloth, hwan had always been destined for greatness – and, even before galaxy’s debut, he would go on to carry the title of midas media’s ‘little prince’ with pride and unabashed confidence. he was the trainee with his own fanclub, after all. the highly anticipated galaxy’s very own golden boy.

( so where had it all gone wrong? )

galaxy debuts in 2014. during the months prior, marketing had worked hard to keep his fans fed. it was hwan’s face that would pop up first in that green search engine and antoine de saint-exupéry’s novel would take home that loss. the public knew his face, the public knew his name. the public knew lee hwan, the little prince – …but who the hell was galaxy anyway?

the group’s debut was underwhelming at most. the ball was slow to start and it took more effort than they had ever anticipated to get it rolling. galaxy’s golden boy could only get them so far. and with the fanbase that did bloom, fans gushing over their little prince ( “he’s too pure! he’s too good for this world!” ), so grew his critics, as well ( “man, midas favors him. look at that line distribution. he can’t even sing that well?” ). lee hwan, the poster child for all idols. lee hwan, with his angelic face and tender voice. lee hwan, who had always been told that he had enough stage charisma to swallow up an entire audience whole –

yeah. no. lee hwan, the little prince, was pretty fucking disappointed.

and, needless to say, midas media was too.

( but hwan hadn’t given up everything for this. he hadn’t sacrificed his time, his effort, and his life for this. five years as a trainee. transplanted from masan, changwon-si, separated from his mother and his father and everything he had ever known. denied a normal childhood in the hopes of a legacy. promised greatness but shoved into the backseat at the first sign of mediocrity. no, hwan hadn’t signed up for this. and he wasn’t about to go down without a fight. )

hwan worked hard. carried the weight of his title like a shroud and worked really, really – really – fucking hard. weathered the negative feedback on his vocals, endured the company’s sudden reluctance to have him involved in album production. smiled like an angel for the cameras and jumped in with clever one-liners for the variety crowds. he fought tooth and nail, with that perfect, perfect face of his, to make a name for himself. to salvage his group. to endorse his members. to survive in an industry that worked like a goddamn revolving door.

because, let’s face it, if midas wasn’t going to save galaxy’s supposed golden boy, then lee hwan would do it himself. the little prince was his title – and he’d protect that goddamn crown until the very, bitter end.

BIOGRAPHY

circa 2009.

“is this really what you want to do, hwan-ah?”

hwan stares up at the gleaming building before him and swallows around the lump in his throat. his mother’s hand is too cold in his and he can feel his father’s gaze prickling at the nape of his neck. questioning him. doubting him.

hwan squares his shoulders. stands up as tall as he can.

“yes. i love music. i love singing,” he answers firmly. fake bravado saves him and he prays that his hand isn’t shaking in hers. “yes!”

three hours later, he presses a shaky, ink-stained thumb to a paper filled with too many words he does not understand. his father’s gaze is unreadable. his mother’s mouth twists as if she might cry. hwan drags his ink-stained thumb along the curve of her mouth and smiles when he stains her bottom lip red.

“please don’t cry,” is all that he says.

this is what i want, is what he hopes she hears, instead. i promise.

ii.

circa 2010.

he rolls his ankle first. his shoulder injury comes the week after.

most injuries could be brushed off – but the shoulder turns out to be tricky. hwan cannot wear it like the other bruises he hides beneath his hoodies and it refuses to be fixed by a trusty salon pas patch from the convenience store down the street – and so, finally, he relents on the seventh day.

the doctor sets his shoulder in a matter of minutes. eyes his ankle and leaves to update his medical chart. his aunt watches, teary-eyed, from the foot of the hospital bed – but hwan is no stranger to pain and manages to smile shakily by the end of it all. the nurse offers him a small sticker for his efforts.

“you were very brave,” she praises him warmly.

hwan returns the smile. wide and crooked.

“it didn’t even hurt!” he lies. “i’m used to worse!”

this earns him a curious smile. his aunt clears her throat.

“he’s a trainee,” she clarifies. “a trainee at midas media. he’s in his first – no, his second year. injuries… are common. he – he dances a lot.”

“ah,” the nurse clicks her tongue, peeling off another sticker from her roll. she presses it onto hwan’s cheek, now, with a grin. “then here’s one more for you. please don’t forget me when you become a big superstar, hwan-gun!”

“i won’t!” he laughs brightly, rubbing at the sticker on his face. “you and my aunt can join my fanclub as soon as it opens! i’ll make sure you’re the first ones! i’ll even sing for you two when you join!”

the nurse nearly presses her entire roll of stickers into his palms after.

iii.

circa 2011.

“you wrote this?”

hwan can’t tell if he’s in trouble or not. he tucks his hands behind his back respectfully and straightens up just in case.

“yes. yes, i did.”

yongguk stares at the tattered notebook in his hands, hwan’s headphones still dangling from one of the pages. he itches to reach for it but holds himself back. wills himself to stay put, hands politely folded, his expression schooled into the closest thing to neutral as he can make it.

“this…” yongguk starts, voice unbelieving. “hwan-ah, this is…”

he finally looks up from the notebook and meets the young trainee’s gaze. hwan isn’t sure what exactly the producer is looking for but yongguk searches his face like he’s looking for the path to enlightenment in hwan’s crooked wire-rimmed glasses.

“this is really… really… really – good,” he finally breathes out. he slowly sits down. steals hwan’s usual spot against the bookcase but doesn’t even seem to notice. his eyes are already back on the notebook, thumb smoothing over half-finished lyrics, written in hwan’s messy scrawl. “how long have you been writing your own music, kid?”

hwan (he’s pretty sure, now, that he isn’t in trouble. probably. hopefully.) takes an uncertain seat down beside the older man. rubs at the back of his neck and wrinkles his nose.

“i don’t know?” he replies truthfully. “since the beginning? before i came here. before i started. i don’t know. i can’t remember the first song i made. i think i’m just always making music. i’m always listening to something. i always wanna listen to something. i’ve never… i never thought someone else would wanna hear it too.”

yongguk’s voice turns reverent and he reaches out eagerly for the boy’s wrist. pulls him in closer. motions towards the mp3 player and the dangling earbuds.

“let me listen again,” he asks earnestly. sincerely. hwan feels something swell in his chest that he can’t quite place his finger on. it feels like pride. pride in being praised? pride in being heard? his head swims and he feels lightheaded with emotion when yongguk tugs at his wrist again. “let me listen one more time?”

yes, i love music! i love singing!

the memory echoes in his ears and, as yongguk eagerly hits play, hwan suddenly realizes that he wants to add one more thing to that list.

i love music. i love singing.

but i think i might love making music – and letting people listen to it – even more.

iv.

circa 2012.

"is that lee hwan?”

“the lee hwan? midas’ lee hwan?”

“oh my god, he’s even better looking in person.”

“kinda short though, don’t you think? i read in a daum cafe that he’s not even 160cm! maybe that’s why he still hasn’t debuted. they’re waiting for him to grow a few more centimeters, kekeke.”

“shh, what if he hears you?”

“he can’t hear anything, he has headphones in –”

hwan rolls his eyes and sits up straighter. taller. his shoulder aches at the sudden movement and he rests his head against the bus’ glass windowpane for support. the city is speeding by, the sun melting into the concrete horizon up ahead. the school girls to his left fall away and he tilts his chin up, letting the light kiss his face.

he forgets about practice, he forgets about his shoulder. he forgets about the questioning, prying, curious eyes to his left and to his right – maybe that’s why he still hasn’t debuted yet? kekeke – and simply lets the sunset swallow him up whole.

circa 2013.

“is that the best you can do?”

jungah ssaem’s gaze is unforgiving and hwan bristles beneath it. yesterday, this had been enough. yesterday, jungah ssaem had praised him for being great.

“did i do something wrong?” he counters, meeting her glare with his own. if he was older, he would’ve resisted. if he was smarter, he wouldn’t have started at all. but lee hwan is sixteen years old with an ego that barely makes it through the front door and he isn’t about to take shit from a vocal trainer who had failed out of a girl group seven years prior. “i thought i sounded fine.”

jungah’s eyes narrow.

“you sound the same as you did yesterday,” she replies curtly. “did you even practice the points i told you to review?”

hwan is unimpressed and unfazed. he flops back down onto the piano bench and rolls his shoulders back, rubbing at an aching spot with a frown.

“i don’t agree with the points you wanted me to practice,” he answers simply. “if i add in the adlib you want, it makes me sound old. this way is trendier. it sounds better like this.”

“lee hwan, are you really that–”

“good?” hwan lifts his gaze to meet the older woman’s. levels it steadily and yawns once. “yes. i am. i know what sounds good. yongguk hyung already approved, too. i’m keeping it this way. i sound better this way.”

if looks could kill, jungah ssaem would’ve murdered him, right then and there.

luckily, she can’t. obviously, she won’t. not if she wants to keep this job. not as long as lee hwan fucking sits on his stupid throne.

hwan yawns again and reaches for his headphones.

“are we done here?”

vi.

circa 2014.

“i’m proud of you, hwan-ah.”

his mother is shaking and hwan moves to pull her closer. gathers her in his arms and presses his cheek to the top of her head. his limbs are clumsy. he hasn’t held her (she hasn’t held him) since he was a child and he isn’t sure what to do with his elbows. she leans into him anyway.

“you looked so good up there on stage, honey,” she whispers into the collar of his shirt. he can hear his members hollering behind him. “i’m so, so proud of you.”

the words smooth over his heart like a balm.

like a sunset on a bus in june, it warms him from the inside out. fills out the cracked, broken parts of himself. soothes the ache in his shoulder that burns more from bitterness than injury, better than any medication could. i’m so proud of you. he thinks it might make up for the years lost, too. the graduation he missed, the friends he hasn’t seen. i’m so proud of you. does it make up for his father’s absence? does it make up for the years he spent sweating, crying, bleeding alone, in practice rooms meant for five but could only allow one? the disappointment, the hope, the gossip, the hate. his crippling pride and the soul-crushing competition. is it enough to make up for it all? is it enough for him?

i’m so proud of you.

yes, hwan thinks with a slow exhale. yes, it is.

i love music, i love singing!

“this is what i always wanted, remember?” hwan breathes in his mother’s perfume. tightens his grip around her and tries to hold his broken family together in his arms. “this is what i want. this is what i’ve always wanted.”

i’m so proud of you, lee hwan.

vii.

circa 2015.

the first headline reads: much-awaited galaxy debut! overshadowed by produce 101′s breakout season finale?

the second: midas media speaks out on declining record sales. olympus will save the kpop wave!

hwan drops the third ( who is galaxy – ) without even bothering finishing reading the title. his drink is sour and the sunset has been long finished.

he stares outside the black, empty window, regardless.

viii.

circa 2016.

(he didn’t fucking sign up for this.)

ix.

circa 2017.

“lee hwan,” jungah smiles coolly, raising her coffee cup to him from across the hall.

hwan grits his teeth and forces himself to stop, dipping his head in a brief, uncomfortable bow. her smile only grows.

“i heard this unit doesn’t include you?” she taps a finger against the cardboard cup and hums, sing-song. “what’s yongguk doing – not including you on this track? seems strange not to include the main vocalist, don’t you think?”

“this concept isn’t–” hwan suddenly snaps his mouth shut. swallows down the words. the defensive retort that had threatened to tumble out. it burns down his throat like the very coffee in jungah’s hands.

“what? cat got your tongue?” her mouth is twisted in a pleased, unnatural smile. she nods her head towards him dismissively. motioning for him to leave. motioning for him to keep fucking going.

“don’t worry,” she laughs down the hall as she heads towards the elevator. “…we’re done here, lee hwan.”

ix.

circa 2018.

“hwan, i didn’t know you were so clever!”

“your face is a gift from the heavens, to be honest.”

“your recent unit project was done so well, hwan. i heard you’re interested in participating in the actual production for the next one? fascinating!”

“i saw you on that variety show yesterday! you did great, honey.”

“hwan! lee hwan! can i please have your autograph!”

“my son actually told me the other day that he wants to become a singer because of you. he saw you and told me he wanted to become an idol, just like you, bless his heart. can you believe it?”

“hwan – lee hwan!”

i love music! i love singing!

this is what he wants.

whether he’s twelve, or fifteen, or twenty fucking years old.

this is what he wants!

even when he’s loved. even when he’s cast aside.

this is what he wants?

…right?

#id.bio #id.galaxy #id.midas #id.park jihoon

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shawnsassymendes · 7 years

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Hold On III

Warnings: Mentions of a car accident, super sad and stressed Shawn and Aaliyah, my horrible attempt at angst, tooth rotting fluff. Also, I don’t include parents because everyone has different parents and I will never be able to write a neutral. Sorry?

Summary: When Shawn finds out that you got into a car accident, he’s too stressed to do anything but write a song. The only thing that calms his nerves, other than you.

Word Count: 4.2k...oops?

Beta: This wonderful, beautiful, angelic human who was nice enough to beta for me last minute! @hazeleyedcat Thank you so much, my dear!

Also! If you find any typos or something that doesn’t make sense please drop a message in my inbox! It’s now open with anon on!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Masterlist

____________________

Shawn had his tongue poking out of his mouth, and his knuckles were white from holding the pen too tight. He was writing a song and he was having some trouble. That’s how you found him after coming home from the grocery store.

“Whatcha doing?” You asked, putting your head on his shoulder.

“Writing a song.” He mumbled as he leaned into you.

“About?”

“You.”

You barked out in laughter. “You’re such a sap, Mendes!” You ruffled his hair and went to the kitchen.

“Only for my girlfriend!” He yelled back and chuckled.

“Come ’ere! Studies show that muffins help with creativity!”

Shawn jumped off the couch at the thought of his favorite muffins he knew you picked up.

But before he could get to the kitchen, he fell.

And when he hit the floor, he woke up.

____________________

Shawn gasped as he woke up. His hand slipped and it was no longer supporting his head. He was still in the uncomfortable hospital chair next to your bed.

It was all a dream.

You were still in a coma.

You were so close, yet so out of reach.

You were gone. But at the same time, you were right there.

“Shawn, babe. How about you head home today? Go freshen up. Sleep in your own bed for once. You’ve been here for five weeks.” His mother said.

Karen was concerned that Shawn was losing himself. He had cancelled the rest of the tour until further notice. He had hardly eaten since you fell into your coma. And he's been home for over a month, yet he's only been home a handful of times. He was almost always at the hospital.

“Five weeks? Felt like five minutes to me.” Shawn mumbled. He didn’t move from his place though. He sat there and stared at your eerily calm face.

His mother sighed and left the room. She knew she couldn’t get him to do anything. Usually, when he was being this stubborn, she would call you.

____________________

“I had another dream. Where we were together. It’s like my conscience is telling me I was being so stupid. I always hesitated. I’m so fucking stupid. I don’t-I don’t want to lose our friendship. Especially if we end it because I told you I love you. But I don’t know how you would take it. I’m- I’m just so lost here, y/n. You’re usually here to set me straight.” He chuckled dryly as he rubbed his face.

“They’re all telling me to move on. From-from you. Lauren came the other day. I met her outside cause I didn’t-I didn’t want her to see you. She said that if you wake up, you’re gonna need space to get back to your life and I would just be annoying. I told her that when you wake up, you’re gonna need all the love and support you could get. She rolled her eyes and gave me the flowers she got for you. I don’t know if she got the ones you hate on purpose or if it’s a sign that I shouldn’t listen to her.”

“Don’t listen to her.” Aaliyah said from the doorway. Shawn didn’t even realize she was there.

“How long have you been there?”

“Long enough to know that if you move on, I won’t hesitate to never speak to you again.” She said as she grabbed a chair and brought it next to Shawn’s. “Can you-Can I talk to her? Alone? Please?” Aaliyah looked up at her brother with her big doe eyes pleadingly.

He was hesitant to leave you, but he nodded nonetheless. He gave you and his sister a kiss on the head before he left.

“Hey babe.” She chuckled through the tears and held your hand. She always teasingly called you babe, because you told her you thought it was cute one time.

“People say that you can hear it when we talk to you. I don’t know if it’s true, but I sure hope it is. Shawn’s told you that he’s in love with you like over fifty times now. What did I tell you, huh? The kid’s whipped. He’s been writing a song, too. He won’t sing it in here, though. Because he only wants you to hear it when it’s perfect.” She sniffled a bit before she wiped her tears.

She then sat a little straighter and held your hand a little tighter.

“Listen, y/n. I don't know what you're going through right now. But there's so much life ahead of you. And it won't slow down no matter what you do, so you just gotta hold on. Just-Just hold on for me, please? If not me, then Shawn. Hold on for all of us.” She stopped for a moment to compose herself.

“But. If you feel like you need to let go, then you can go. You don’t have to stay for us. If you can fight. If you want to fight. Then please fight. We’ll be here whatever you choose. I love you, no matter what. You will always be my best friend.”

Aaliyah didn’t know that Shawn was listening in. He couldn’t help himself.

But he was glad, because he was now done with the song thanks to Aaliyah.

____________________

“-then she just walked away. I know you would tell me to ignore her, but-” Aaliyah was cut off by someone knocking on the door.

“Aaliyah? Can I come in?” Asked Karen from behind the door.

“Sure mom.” Aaliyah said as she went back to painting your nails your favorite color.

“So what are you girls talking about?”

“Just telling her ‘bout my day.” Aaliyah said as she moved on to your other hand.

“Listen, Liyah. I-We need to talk.” She said, unsure of how to give the news to her daughter. “The doctors said there hasn’t been any improvements for two weeks. She was healing up until the fourth week, but now she’s just stable. There’s nothing new, darling.”

“Well, no news is good news. Right, mom?” Aaliyah finally took her eyes of your limp hand and looked up at her mother.

“I don’t-I don’t know, darling. I don’t know.” Karen said as tears fell down her face. She pulled her daughter close and cried into her shoulder. “I don’t know anymore.”

“Momma?” Aaliyah said instinctively. She hadn’t said that since she was a toddler.

“Yes baby?”

“I-I told y/n the other day to hold on for us. But that if she needed to let go, she could let go. We would be here for her whatever she chooses.”

“That’s good, Liyah. That’s really good.” She mumbled as she smoothed down the hair on her daughter’s head.

“Do you know what happened after I said that?”

“What happened?”

“Her heart beat. It did a little jump. I asked the nurses if that was ok and they said yeah. But-But I can’t help but feel like she was telling me she was gonna fight. I know she’s gonna fight though. She’s been dreaming to be a Mendes since forever. I don’t think she’s gonna let that go.”

“She’s always been a Mendes, love.”

“Yeah, but not officially. I think it’s gonna happen soon, though.”

“Yeah?” Karen raised an eyebrow at her daughter.

“Yeah. I’ve been planning the wedding for years. It better happen.” Aaliyah said causing her mom to laugh.

____________________

Shawn had finally been persuaded to go home for the day. Aaliyah was at school. Karen had to go back to work. But Manny stayed at the hospital. He wasn’t able to talk to you alone for the past month and a half you’ve been in the coma.

He had been sitting in your room for a while now, not knowing what to say. But then he realized he shouldn’t be nervous. Why should he be nervous talking to his own daughter? At least, that’s how he saw you.

“Hey, hun. It’s been a while since we’ve had a heart to heart. The last time I sat down with you was when you caught Shawn kissing that girl. I had never before wanted to slap my son until that day.” He chuckled softly, thinking back to the day he had found you crying by the pool. It wasn’t the best day to think about, but you were around.

“Just wanted to tell you that we all miss you. So much. Shawn’s been trying to find any possible way to pin it on himself. Wants to beat himself up for it, even though he hasn’t done anything. He’s been writing a song too. I think he just finished it. He’s probably gonna sing it for you today.

Aaliyah’s been-little social butterfly Aaliyah’s been ignoring her friends. Mishyia came over the other day. She didn’t know what was wrong with her best friend. She said that she never talked at school. She just did her work and rushed out everyday. She was scared something was happening at home, so she came last night to check on us. She didn’t know about you. She started crying when we told her. Aaliyah hasn’t told anyone. My little girl’s gone and I don’t know how to get her back. I think-I think you’re the one who can get her back. You two were always close.

And Karen hasn’t been sleeping. And when she does, she keeps saying your name. Then she wakes up in a cold sweat and then she starts cleaning the house for the 18th time of the day. She doesn’t want to show that it’s breaking her as much as it is everyone else. She’s cried twice in front of me so far.

And me. Well, darling I don’t know what to tell ya. I keep repeating everything we’ve done together. From the time I taught you how to ride a bike. And when you were so scared to swim you never let go of my arm. And when you were 7 and you insisted that I teach you how to dance like ‘Bubba and Mama Karen’.

And when we plan surprises for Shawn or Aaliyah. You know that they can hardly keep a secret from each other so it’s always between us three. And when I was teaching you how to drive. And you were so much better than Shawn. He always tried to show off to his friends and you would come and kick his ass."

“I remember that.” You whispered hoarsely.

“And he would’ve been embarrassed, if he wasn’t so in love with you.” He chuckled

“What?!” You gasped and started coughing. You hadn’t felt the tube sticking out of your throat until then.

“What?! You’re awa-Holy moth-You’re awake! Oh my god! I need a doctor in here! She’s awake!”

The room was swarmed with doctors in mere seconds. They pushed Manny out of the room after much persuasion.

For the next couple of minutes you were poked and prodded and asked so many questions your head started to spin.

Manny was almost in hysterics at this point. He could hardly speak to the doctors, let alone call anyone to tell them the good news. So he did the next best thing. He sent a text to the group chat.

She’s awake.

____________________

Aaliyah was listening to her math teacher drone on about something she wasn’t paying attention to. Mishyia was sitting next to her, holding her hand under the table.

That morning Mish told her that she knew what happened to you. They both cried in the janitor’s closet before their first class. They decided to go to the hospital together later today.

Suddenly, Aaliyah’s phone emitted a loud notification. Nobody texted her during school hours.

“What have I said about phones?” Yelled the teacher from the desk.

“Sorry...” Aaliyah mumbled and went back to her class work. She would check it later. It was probably a game notification or something.

Then it let out another noise.

“That’s it! Give it to me!” The teacher held out her hand in front of the poor girl. Aaliyah begrudgingly gave it over. The nosy teacher looked at the screen.

“Hey! That’s pers-”

“’Manny Magic’ sent a message to the group ‘Mendes Messages and y/n’ saying ‘She’s awake’.” The teacher smirked as they read the message aloud. A couple of the kids sitting next to Aaliyah snickered, but she was seeing red.

“Is that supposed to be a joke?! How sick are you to say that?! My mom told all the teachers! You were never to bring this up!” She was yelling now. She grabbed the phone out of their hand. She looked at the screen and dropped her phone.

“Holy shit.”

“Liyah? What’s wrong?” Mishyia said as she picked up her friend’s phone.

“She’s awake.” She mumbled. “She woke up! Oh my god!” She jumped out of her chair and grabbed her bag. “Come on! My mom’s here!” Aaliyah said as she urged her friend to pack her bag. They both ran out of the class.

“You can’t just leave class, young lady!”

“Yeah? Watch me!” Yelled Aaliyah as they ran to the front door where Karen was waiting.

____________________

When they got to the hospital, the three girls were all smiles. But the smiles vanished when they saw Shawn sitting on the floor next to your room with his head in his hands.

“Shawn? What’s going on? Where’s dad? Is something wrong?” Aaliyah asked as she dropped to the floor next to her brother.

“Dad’s-Dad’s inside.”

“Why aren’t you in there?” She mumbled as she took his hands into her own.

“I’m scared, Liyah.” He confessed.

“Of what? You’ve been dreaming about this day for ages now.”

“Exactly. Dreaming. What if this is another dream? What if-What if I hold her in my arms again, only to wake up and see her still asleep? I don’t know if I can go through that again.”

“Name five things you can sense in this room.” Aaliyah said calmly.

“What?”

“Name five things you can sense. Like something you can see, smell, hear, touch, and taste. Five senses. I read this somewhere, it helps make your brain realize that what’s happening is real.”

“Oh, ok. I can-I can see you. I can smell the weird hospital smell. I can hear...I can hear Dad talking in there. I can touch...your hair. I can taste it too.” He said as he jokingly brought it closer to his mouth.

“No, stop Shawn!” Aaliyah giggled as she pulled away. “I’m tryna be serious here!”

Suddenly, Manny came out of your room. “Shawn?” Shawn looked up at his dad. “She’s asking for you.” He looked back at his sister one more time.

“You can do this. I’ll be here, right next to the door. Call me in when you’re done.” She whispered and Shawn nodded. They helped each other up and Shawn nodded determinedly and walked in.

____________________

You sat patiently in the bed waiting for Manny to call Shawn. While waiting, you observed the room. There were flowers everywhere and there was a basket full of notes next to your bed. You reached in to grab one only to notice that your nails were painted your favorite color. You didn’t remember doing that.

You also noticed little things that made you realize the Mendes family had moved into your room while you were here.

In the corner to your left were two chairs with Shawn’s laptop and song notebook on them. There were a lot of loose leaf papers lying around his area too. He had his grey Hogwarts sweater draped over one of the chairs as well as a blanket that was in the living room at home. His guitar was in it’s case under the chairs as well as a duffel bag.

In the corner to your right was almost the same set up. Except it was Aaliyah’s laptop and some of her textbooks from school. She had her Maple Leafs blanket folded neatly on the chairs as well as her Maple Leafs hoodie. Underneath her chairs were her hockey sticks and her hockey duffel and a backpack.

The door opened and your head snapped up. You made eye contact with Shawn and you both gasped. As soon as he realized what was happening, he ran over to you and hugged you. He was gentle at first, until you squeezed him telling him it was ok.

"Hey.” You whispered into his shoulder.

“Hi.” Shawn said. “I’ve been dreaming about this for ages.”

“You dream about me, Mendes?” You chuckled.

“All the fucking time.” You gasped. You weren’t expecting him to answer your question like that.

“What-What do you dream about?”

“Well, for the first few days. It was about you waking up.”

“First few days? How long have I been asleep?”

You weren’t told by any of the doctors after you asked them. You thought at first that you had been here a couple hours. But when you saw your surroundings, you thought maybe a couple days. But from how Shawn was talking, you didn’t know anymore.

“You’ve been in a coma for a month and a half.” When the words left his mouth, it was like a slap in the face.

“A month and a half?! Holy Shit! What got me in a coma for a month and a half?!”

“You don’t remember? You were-It was a car accident. You were hit by a drunk truck driver.”

“I don’t remember any of that. The last thing I remember was leaving to go get Aaliyah some strawberries. We were having a sleepover and we were missing some stuff. We could’ve done without them. But I knew Liyah wanted some strawberries and we had run out. It was right before your interview with Camila for James Corden.”

“Oh, thank God! That was right before you were hit. That means you didn’t forget anything except for right before the accident. I read that some people lost months worth of their lives. I was afraid-I was afraid you would forget me to be honest.”

You felt tears running down your face as he said that. He was scared that you would forget him. You couldn’t imagine him losing all memory of you. The thought of it had you in tears. You pulled him back into a tight hug.

“I could never forget you, Shawn. I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you so much. Calling you isn’t the same. It’s not the same as this.”

Suddenly Shawn let go and put his lips against yours. You were shocked at first. I mean, who wouldn’t be when a freaking god decided to smack one right on their lips. But you recovered soon enough. You put your hands around his neck and put your fingers through his hair and brought him even closer to you.

“I missed you, too.” He said when he pulled away and put his forehead against yours.

“Well, you’ve never said it like that.” You chuckled

“I hope you don’t mind, but I’m gonna say it like that from now on. Kissing will also replace our hellos, goodbyes, how are you’s, and everything else.”

“I definitely don’t mind.” You whispered and leaned in, only to be stopped by someone clearing their throat at the door.

“As much as I’m glad this is happening, I kinda wanna say hi to my sister.” Aaliyah said, leaning against the door with her arms crossed.

Both you and Shawn turned bright red at being caught.

“Uh, I’ll-I’ll come back later. I’ll go get you something to eat, ‘kay?” He stuttered as he walked out, you only nodded in response.

“I would tease you for what I just saw, but it’s been too long.” Aaliyah said as she pulled you into a tight hug. She was much stronger than she looked. “You scared the shit outta me! Don’t ever do that again!”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I’ll try to not get hit by a drunk driver ever again.” You joked.

“You got that right.” She whispered, and you could feel her tears on your shoulder.

“Aaliyah, don’t cry. It’s ok.” You said as you ran your fingers through her hair.

“I thought you were gonna die. They kept telling us that we shouldn’t keep our hopes up. I thought I was gonna lose you.” She sobbed.

“Hey, I’m fine. Besides, you’re the strongest person I know. You would’ve moved on. Maybe named a baby or two after me, though.”

“Oh yeah, someone’s here for you!” She said as she jumped up and went to the door.

When she walked in, right behind her was Mishyia. You had become quite close with both girls while Shawn was on tour. Always having sleepovers and nights out together. You never thought that your best friends would be five years younger than you.

“Hey, Mish.” You said softly as she ran into your waiting arms. “How are you, my little apricot?” One time you were looking up what names meant, and ‘mishmish’ meant apricot in Arabic.

“So much better now. I’m so glad you’re ok.” You both looked up when you heard a knock at the door.

“Can I come in?” Karen said from behind the door.

“Hey Mama.” You whispered, smiling.

She came in and hugged you tightly. “I thought I was gonna lose my baby girl.” Karen whimpered into your hair.

“I’m afraid your stuck with me forever.” You chuckled softly.

“Oh, I hope we are. You’re family, baby. We’re never letting you go.”

____________________

The doctors said that you would have to stay at the hospital for three more days just to make sure you were stable. Falling asleep the first night was harder than you expected.

“Shawn? You awake?” You whispered in the dark. It was a couple of seconds before you heard a response.

“Yeah. Can’t sleep.” Came Shawn’s tired voice.

“Same.” You paused, thinking of whether you should say this out loud or not. “Will you-Can you-do you wanna get in the bed with me? It’s big enough -ish.”

“No, it’s ok. The chairs are fine.”

“No, not just about that. Will you join me? You missed out on a lot of movie night cuddles.”

“Are you sure?”

“100 percent.”

“Ok.” You heard him get up and you moved over for him. You patted the space next to you and moved the scratchy hospital sheets away.

When he got in, you put your head on his chest. Shawn put his arm around you and pulled you even closer.

“Shawn?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m afraid this is a dream.” You confessed.

“Do you wake up from comas in all your dreams?”

“No, not that.” You giggled. “I’m afraid this is a dream. Me and you.”

“I’m afraid this is a dream too. Not just me and you. But you waking up.” His hand had started playing with your hair unconsciously while he spoke. “Just promise me one thing.”

“Anything.” You lifted your head to look at him in the eyes.

“If this is a dream, you tell me how you feel when you wake up.”

“Only if you do too.”

“I promise.” He looked down at you with a spark in his eye. He already knew what you were going to say.

“Pinky promise?” You raised your finger in question up.

“Pinky promise.” He confirmed as he looped his finger with yours.

“As adorable as you guys are being right now, we’ve got school tomorrow and I’ve gotta sleep.” Aaliyah grumbled from the floor to your right.

“I don’t mind. I can listen to you guys all night. You’re so cute.” Mishyia said, which caused the heat to tickle your face.

“Go to sleep, Mish!” You squeaked.

“Are we really ‘adorable’ and ‘cute’?” Shawn asked after a moment of silence.

“Very! Now go to sleep!”

Much later into the night, you whispered, “I love you. All of you guys. So much.” It wasn’t meant to be heard, but someone had other plans.

“We all love you too y/n. And tomorrow, Shawn’s going back to the chairs. I need some cuddles with you.”

This was your family.

____________________

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Fic Tag List:

Everything Tag List: @handwrittenmendess

#Shawn Mendes #shawn mendes x reader #shawn peter raul mendes #Shawn Mendes fluff #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fanfic #Shawn Mendes imagine #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes writing #aaliyah mendes #why is aaliyah so pretty #OK I might love aaliyah more than Shawn #aaliyah is the better Mendes #aaliyah nicole maria mendes #if you don't know who mishyia is #im sorry i cant be friends with you #fyi mish mish actually means apricot in arabic #i speak arabic #i should know

432 notes · View notes

iliveworldnews · 6 years

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Tom Evans and Kate James, from Liverpool, have faced a battle to keep their 22-month-old son Alfie Evans alive. He is at Alder Hey Hospital where he has been hospitalised since December 2016, dealing with chronic seizures of an undiagnosed disorder. The hospital have fought Alfies family yet again over night as his father was told he would be arrested for assault if he touched Alfie despite gaining last-minute legal documents granting him permission to remove his baby boy from the clutches of the hospital who still refused to release him ahead of plans to switch of life support machines keeping the toddler alive.

Alfie Evans Saved?

FRIDAY APRIL 13

ITV presenters covering the races live at Aintree have just been talking about the Alder Hey Children’s Charity Handicap Hurdle at 14:45 and said:

“Right let’s mention Alder Hey the great hospital and the race winner today look there it is number 13 on Friday the 13th.

“A grave winner.

“They do such good work there I have got a child, a local family who have a sick kid there and what a job they do.

“Lets hope the children, staff, doctors and nurses are watching, they really are absolute heroes and heroines they truly are”.

The city of Liverpool is currently involved in a spiritual war with Alder Hey Hospital over the treatment of Alfie Evans

During the day the commentators and presenters kept highlighting how the horses were going down to the post 4 minutes early and having to wait, it happened twice 44.

The number 44 signifies deception and sacrifice, a stab in the back. The assassination of Julius Caesar was the result of a conspiracy by many Roman senators led by Gaius Cassius Longinus, Decimus Junius Brutus Albinus, and Marcus Junius Brutus. They stabbed Julius Caesar to death in a location adjacent to the Theatre of Pompey on the Ides of March (March 15), 44BC. Liverpool Football Club was founded on March 15, 1892, today they were drawn to face Roma in the Semi-finals of the Champions League (911). This weekend also marks the 29th anniversary of the Hillsborough disaster (29 is 911).

Alfie Evans

APRIL 12, 2018 – SOMETIME THIS MORNING:

This morning I got up to look out f the window thinking a military helicopter had flown where I live, I did see it but I never got a good look at it so I just pondered on it. It was travelling away from the Mersey, inner city and could of been heading towards Aintree Race Course or John Lennon Airport but it was not heading in that direction.

THIS AFTERNOON:

As I was writing an email to Merseyside police regarding my Alice Day campaign I realised the last numbers in my phone number 314431 Which to me is just a blatant 444. So, instead of looking at bad meanings I went for a more light heated numbers explanation and it is then I interpreted it as a message of some sort . This from my Facebook page today. Angel Number 444 asks that you pay attention to your intuition and inner-wisdom as your connection with your angels and the angelic realm is very strong at this time.. Angel Number 444 is a message that you have nothing to fear in regards to your life, work and Divine life purpose.

ABOUT 7PM:

I had just been the shop and my purchases cost £4.88 and after my earlier Facebook post about my phone number being 444 I was thinking £4.88 is another 44444 with the £4 and 88 being 44 44. Then the same helicopter flew over my head as I was thinking about these 4’s. I am still not sure if it was military or somebody being picked up from Aintree Race course but it was seen flying over Liverpool in the opposite direction towards the the River Mersey by another person at around in a 3rd sighting at 14:00.

9PM:

With the Syrian Conflict and Members of Parliament having a cabinet meeting to decide if we should begin military action in The Middle East I found myself checking the gematria on the word War which brought up a host of usual Satanic suspects.

While I was there I was talking about Alfie Evans to a friend my stomach was turning as I said I’ll not be voicing my onions for at least 6 months out of respect and compassion towards the whole family. Its too sad and causing a lot of pain in the city. After seeing 4’s all day this is what came out when I searched Alfie’s name though all of the numerology categories. Satanic came out as 444, I now knew why my stomach was turning and why I had seen 4’s all day, this is where they lead me to.

More 4’s

Today is April 12 which is 4/12 or 12/4 in American format.

4/12 is 4444 with the 12 breaking down to 3, 4’sand the other 4 representing April.

April 12 is the 102nd day of the year (103rd in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar.

In freemasonry they do not recognise the zero so 102 becomes 12, 12 is 444.

Maybe a good sign for Alfie’s fight and why I believe I have been seeing the number 4 is some say seeing the number sequence 444 or 4444 repeatedly is a “Cosmic ‘No!'” that “indicates a ‘No’ to absolutely anything”.

After seeing all this I now know why I have seen 4’s all day, they have been signs. And to see lead to Alfie in Satanic terms just confirms what they are trying to do to the poor baby. The people deciding Alfies fate have fought tooth and nail to murder him and have it take place in April on Friday 13th, just as the city is flooded with visitors attending the Aintree Racecourse for Ladies day on Friday ahead of Saturdays Grand National.

March 22 marks the start of an extended season of sacrifice From which runs until May 1st. Within this period there is another significant timeline which plays from the 19th of April to the 1st of May. This is a 13 day season of Sacrifice when child sacrifice is required I have written about this a hundred times even people who do not pay attention to my posts will of seen me talk about April 19 and April on a whole as a high time of sacrifice. It has been my most active month with writing etc. The 1st week of May is Beltane when the fires start burning for 6 days I’ve told everyone how this is why Liverpool suffered The May Day Blitz in 1941. During the Blitz, Mill Street Hospital was bombed and the maternity ward was hit killing a large number of new born babies, mothers, nurses and medics Injured soldiers in the next ward escaped any injury at all which has always lead me to believe a bomb was planted in the maternity ward and that was another child sacrifice to Ba’al as depicted in the image below.

As I was finding this out about Alfie, a protest was breaking out at Alder Hey hospital after his father, Tom Evans went live on Facebook to state that he had obtained a document giving the right to remove him instantly whilst removing the duty of care from Alder Hey. Tom was with a team of his own doctors who had ventilators and duty of care was to be handed to the Air Ambulance who would then fly Alfie to Italy to begin treatment. The family are fighting to save their son from the somewhat blood thirsty Merseyside NHS establishment who have shown they have not moved on since the days of the baby organs scandal which came to light in 1996. It is believed doctors are intending to switch off Alfie Evans’s life support machine at 12:00 on Friday 13.

Tom Evens also called for for members of the public to gather in a peaceful crowd close to the hospital and request the release of his son after they refused the lawful action and called police to assist in stopping the removal of Alfie. In his live stream which has had over 600 thousand views, Tom says the police have been called to help Alder Hey by standing in the way as they make preparations to murder his child. He was told if he touched Alfie he would be arrested for assault.

Tom went on to say: “Look what the world is coming to, sitting waiting eagerly for them to legally release our boy

“Here is the documentation, they have phoned the police, they have phoned the police over a child, look how innocent the boy is.

“He lays there still not diagnosed, eagerly awaiting his trip home.

“How can it come to this”.

Tom’s powerful plea was followed by demonstrations outside the hospital with hundreds of people demanding the baby is allowed to leave the place that seems intent on killing him.

LADIE’S DAY AINTREE & ALFIES DAY ALDER HEY PLANNED FOR APRIL, FRIDAY, 13, 2018?

At the start of the week I noticed we had Friday 13 to look forward to with intrigue and with the world famous Ladies day taking place at Aintree Race Course on day 2 of the annual meeting which reaches its climax with Saturdays Grand National. This prompted me to make this post again on my Facebook profile. This was on Saturday, April, 7, 2018.

My post read as follows: Uh Ohhhh its Friday 13th next week which means it is 13 days after the April Fools Easter. April 13 is the 103rd (13+13=26) day of the year. There are 262 days remaining in the year which is a 26 62 mirror. The 13 13 we have in the date of April 13 and it being 13 days after Easter Sunday means it is worth keeping an eye on events such as Ladies Day at Aintree Race Course and Saturday’s when the famous Grand National is held on the 14th which breaks down to a 77 which is the code for a false flag hoax attack used by Freemasons. Think of the 7/7 London bombings and you will see the jig-saw come together. 6 days after the 13th is the 19th, April 19 marks the start of what is known as the as the 13 days of preparation for Beltane Fire Festival which runs from May 1st to the 6th. During these 13 days events will happen as they have each year. Victims will be killed or kidnapped and held until their sacrifice. This build up to Beltane is ended by Pagans lighting the the flames of the Beltane fire festival which burn for one week. This whole period is highly associated with child sacrifice. Fires have been seen this during the first week of May for as long as I have covered these subjects. It is also with pointing out that the Fordica Festival on April 15 which is most acquainted to the Hillsborough sacrifice is on the 3rd Sun-day of the month of April which began with an April Fools Ishtar.

Looking at the picture above you see an image of the bell of Beltane, she has flowers in her hair making up a decorative hat on her head. I have done a video about the flowers in girls hair Facebook filter tired and the sinister meanings are hidden behind it all are on display at Aintree where we will see thousands of ladies with flowers in Their hair over the three day event.

If you think they do not foreshadow these events then I will prove to you that something has been going on regarding and imminent event in Liverpool and I have tracked sins for a couple of years at least now and this past year has been unlike any 12 months I have known when it comes to predictive programming with Liverpool being shown in many of the mass media events we have seen.

Here is some more examples you may well remember, and again you will have even more pieces of that jig-saw you thought about before.

MANCHESTER BOMBINGS – MAY 22, 2017

EMMA STEVIE PARSONS GREEN SEPTEMBER 15, 2017 – “HILLSBOROUGH” “CRUSH” “STAMPEDE”

OXFORD STREET INCIDENT 4 MONTHS AGO – LIVERPOOL PREDICTIVE PROGRAMMING

LIVERPOOL ECHO ARENA CAR PARK FIRE 14.000 CARS BURNT IN FIRE? – NEW YEARS EVE

CHINESE NEW YEAR LIVERPOOL LAND MARKS LIT UP IN RED UNTIL OCTOBER

FLORIDA SCHOOL SHOOTINGS – DAVID HOGG’S GIRL FROM THE HOOD BEATLES FAN SIDEKICK, YEAH RIGHT

KEN DODD – MY BIG FAT FREEMASONIC FUNERAL – VIDEO & ARTICLE

http://enchantedlifepath.com/2018/04/03/ken-dodd-freemasonic-funeral/

ERIC BRISTOW – DIED IN LIVERPOOL IN APRIL

LIVERPOOL F.C THROUGH TO CHAMPIONS LEAGUE SEMI’S 33 YEARS AFTER HEYSAL DISASTER, 6TH EUROPEAN CUP ON ITS WAY TO ANFIELD?

Heysal was 33 years ago. We won it 5 (2.5 2.5 77) times (Baphomoet) on May 25 2005 which was 13 years ago. This year I have suspected it will be 6 (33) times the final is held on the 26th this year. 26 is 13 13. 34 (7) years ago we played Roma in the Final. May 26 is the 146th (111) day of year with 219 (1119) remaining in the the year May 25 is the 145th with 220 remaining (22) We see The King of Egypt we spoke about in the summer with the signings and Firmino (Firmament) scoring tonight and who else but Gabriel Jesus number 33. The first game was 3 – 0 the second was 2 – 1 (3 or 777) this is another 33 in the scores over two legs. Its all over it.

I mentioned the Champions League Semi-final draw at the start of the article. Here is proof this is all linked in and planned, even the draw which placed Liverpool and Roma together, what a surprise given the Merseyside and Roman connections not only on this article but this whole website is full of them, I have dedicated 4 years to showing Liverpool what we are surrounded by, teaching you who runs the show in our very Masonic city. This image below shows a post on Twitter from Liam Faircloud who tweeted prior evidence of UEFA corruption around the draw which meant these to cities of The Empire will meet 34 years after Liverpool beat Roma at The Olympic Stadium in 1984. 3 + 4 is 7 which is the code for hoaxes and false flag attacks.

A storm erupted around the governing body of the Champions league last night when Roma Fans were sent emails by the club which asked if they would like to select their seats for their Champions League Semi-final with Liverpool. The obvious problem here is the draw had not happened. When the clubs were then pitted together for the semis, claims of corruption which could be seen all over social media were justified.

The draw was today at midday, the same time Alfie was to be killed by Alder Hey, the draw was fixed here is the proof, ps, be sure to note how the Liam Faircloud’s Twitter account was instantly suspended.

Twitter users were all over it and posted their opinions about the seemingly rigged draw and wondering about the whereabouts and safety of Liam Faircloud after his account went missing shortly after exposing the draw as being staged by UEFA.

Others replied as the mystery became a concern to everyone but the obvious nature of the hoax draw was not to be ignored in a host of tweets throughout the day. I must add that all these tweets, including Liam Faircloud’s came BEFORE today’s Champions League draw.

On an article called Winter Olympics Feb 9 – 25 & Valentines Ritual Watch, published, Feb 9, I named a set of key dates that are usually ear marked for events such as terror attacks, fires, active shooter situations and Satanic Cult Sacrifices. The dates were all taken from my Freemasonic Liverpool research article in a section I refer to as the Liverpool attack map where I show a sequence of dates that directly effect or have hidden references to Liverpool the city and Football club. I have kept track of these dates monitoring synchronicities as they get closer and closer to the place I was born and raised. In the timeline I mention February 14 as a certain date for an attack and I explained once again about how it will be in celebration of the three hearts of Lupercalia.

Feb 15 – Lupercalia – The Lupercalia like most of the dates discussed here requires human sacrifice and was a very ancient, pre-Roman pastoral festival, held on February 15 to honor Faunus, pagan god of fertility and forests. Lupercalia subsumed Februa, an earlier-origin spring cleansing ritual held on the same date, which gives the month of February (Februarius) its name. As well as human blood offerings a male goat is also sacrificed at the Alter of Lupercalia as well as a dog. The ritual was observed by Jupiter’s high priest. It is also a celebration of how Rome got its name when Romulus killed his Twin brother Remus on one of the seven hills of Rome. The twins were raised by a wolf called Lupa. This date also falls one month before the Ides of March which is when Julius Caesar was stabbed in the back as Rome was liberated in 44BC. Two months later on April 15 it is the start of the Willow Tree month along with the Fordica festival when a pregnant cow was sacrificed, the calf fetus burned and the ashes saved for the Parilia festival. Fordica was marked with the Hillsborough disaster in a modern-day ritual leaving the highly masonic number 96 etched into all our memories.

Liverpool FC was founded on June 3rd, 1892 although first became a club earlier in the year on the 15th March 1892.

There are 96 years between June 3rd, 1892, and the day of the Hillsborough disaster – April 15th 1989.

From 3/6/1892, Liverpool founded, to 15/4/1989, Hillsborough disaster, = 96 yrs plus 96+96+96 days and 96+96+96+96+96+96+96 hours. (96 yrs and 316 days.), 96 dead.

The image you see above is of Romulus and Remus who was killed by his brother as Rome was given its name. It is the same image that is on the Roma club badge and was seen around the world this week as they knocked Barcelona out of the Champions League before being drawn against Liverpool. Remember where The Pope lives? Do you see the mockery of Alfie Evans in his tweet now? Do you see the game played by UEFA? Look at the Roma badge. It is all linked.

Romulus and Remus were twins, we see Liverpool Football club with the Twin Flames on is logo which were added to the badge after the Hillsborough disaster to remember the 96 victims who were killed on April 15, 1989. Liverpool as a city has had to endure a lot of pain over the years as this article has explained. It has always been our price for success but it may not be as simple as that. These people who inflict trauma on our city actually get off on it. They attacked the Twin Towers in New York which was built 811 (8×11=88 Twin Serpents) years after Liverpool was founded. Liverpool and New York both share Twin Towers as a theme of memory of the world famous waterfronts and this gives me a chance to explain how the Liver Buildings are Liverpool’s Twin Towers and how our city is built on curses.

Liverpool Foundation – 1190

Liver Buildings – Opened: 1911

Travel time from Liverpool to New York, World trade Centre – 9 hours 11 mins

Liverpool, New York (USA) Daylight hours in December 9 hours 11 mins

Liverpool May Day Blitz (Beltane Fire Festival) 119 other explosives such as incendiaries were used.

Alfie Evans – Enchanted LifePath – Liverpool

The infamous World Trade Centre stands in our memories as a symbol of terror, I spotted another synchronicity when looking at the Royal Liver Buildings, Liverpool and the World Trade Centre, New York, both landmarks overlooked world famous waterfronts, both had the twin theme running through them, but Liverpool’s Twin Towers will of gone generally unnoticed as twin towers before now, so what does water and twins link to?

This makes me think of Gemini (Twins & The Creator) and Aquarius.

Aquarius is the eleventh astrological sign in the Zodiac, originating from the constellation Aquarius. The water carrier represented by the zodiacal constellation Aquarius is Ganymede, a beautiful Phrygian youth.

Gemini is the third astrological sign in the zodiac, originating from the constellation of Gemini. Under the tropical zodiac, the sun transits this sign between May 21 (3) and June 21 (3). Gemini is represented by The Twins Castor and Pollux. 11 x 3=33.

The Liver building opened in 1911, the building is the purpose-built home of the Royal Liver Assurance group, which had been set up in the city in 1850 to provide locals with assistance related to losing a wage-earning relative. One of the first buildings in the world to be built using reinforced concrete, the Royal Liver Building stands at 98.2 m (322 ft Skull & Bones) tall to the top of the spires, and 50.9 m (167 ft) to the main roof.

It is located at the Pier Head and along with the neighbouring Cunard Building and Port of Liverpool Building is one of Liverpool’s Three Graces, which line the city’s waterfront.

THE LIVER BIRDS

Liverpool has many well known landmarks with the city having made a lasting impression on the world stage through the Football Clubs, The Beatles and the Slave Trade of course. We live in a very symbolic city (as I am showing you here on this article) with one of the great visual icons being The Liver Birds which have sat proudly on top of the Royal Liver Buildings since 1911 (9/11). But again, there is a story behind the Liver Birds that is hidden in plain sight and yes it is another song and dance about Sun Worship and sacrifice.

As with all secret traditions and beliefs systems which herald from ancient Greece, Rome and Egypt they carry a mythology with them through generations with the whispers of the people keeping stories alive by telling children the tales of the past. As well as Liverpool being steeped in in symbols from those mythologies for example, you only have to walk around the city centre to see the Neptune statues and carvings in a lot of the buildings, but Liverpool has its own mythology in the story of the Liver Birds. But where did the story originate from? Let’s take a look at the Wikipedia version first.

After King John founded the borough of Liverpool by royal charter in 120, the city The borough’s second charter was granted by Henry III in 1229, giving the townspeople the right to form a guild with the privileges this came with, including the right to use a common seal.

This was the birth of Liverpool’s association with what is known as the Liver Bird, but what type of bird is it and what else does it symbolise?

The Liver Bird is thought to of originally been an Eagle which was used as the symbol of John the Evangelist who was the namesake and the Patron Saint of King John ( St Johns Market). Records tell us The plant sprig is interpreted as broom, a badge of the Plantagenet dynasty. Also visible on the seal is a star and crescent, one of King John’s personal badges.

In the 17th century, the birds identify had been forgotten and started b to be known as either as a cormorant, a common bird in the area, or as a “lever”. It is when we look into the cormorant bird and mythology around it when we start to see why it is looking down over our city.

The amount of secret references to Satan discovered on this article regarding this city is beyond belief but this next one is something which will again highlight just how these crafty bastards code the devil into almost every detail within our surroundings.

The cormorant bird features in biblical teachings in the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve are watched by Satan from on top of the tree of life having turned into the bird after leaping down from Mt. Niphrates toward Earth. Observing Gods creations from the Garden, he found it’s beauty fascinating, yet, weighing up his role in the world, he decided his best option was to either destroy Gods Kingdom or at least divide it as he chose Evil. This came before he presented himself to Adam and Eve as a serpent having seen their love for each other as a symbol of Gods image he then set about to destroy their peaceful life in paradise with temptation to eat the forbidden fruits from the Tree of Knowledge.

Cormorants feature in heraldry and medieval mythology, usually in their “wing-drying” pose, which was seen as representing the Christian cross, and symbolising nobility, sacrifice and greed.

This is what is looking down over Liverpool with the Liver Buildings representing the tree of life and the city being the Garden of Eden which Satan has set about to ruin. The devil deceives, this is why instead of a Lord’s Cross on top of the Liverpool Twin Tower Liver Buildings we have a bird which featured in the Bible before the serpent. This is why this city is cursed, these are the spells placed over us all each day as we go about our lives earning our daily bread, our home is built to celebrate sacrifice and sin.

We have just learned a couple of things about the Liver Birds which not many people are aware of so let us take a moment to look into the meaning of the eagle which is what the Liver Bird was originally thought to be.

The Eagle is symbolic to the Scottish rite of 33rd degree Freemasonry and is used on masonic logos by secret societies who have carried on the mystery teachings of ancient Babylon. There is proof of their existence all around us it is just a matter of training your eyes to be able to spot the signs and symbols, in a way, you need to learn how to see backwards to decode it all.

The double headed eagle is associated with the concept of Empire. Most modern uses of the symbol are directly or indirectly associated with its use by the Roman/Byzantine Empire, whose use of it represented the Empire’s dominion over the Near East and the West.

To understand why the eagle is a satanic symbol I have to explain the story of Nimrod, the Sun God to you briefly.

The Freemasonic eagle with two heads looking left and right, east and west, is symbolic of Nimrod in the role of Eannu. Eannus, is said to have held the keys to the doors of heaven and he was the sole intermediary between God and humanity.

Nimrod (the great grandson of Noah) followed in his father’s footsteps (Cush) and rebelled against God with his wife Semiramus. Nimrod was sentenced to death and his body was chopped up into pieces and parts were sent to other cities as a warning.

His wife fled in despair, after claiming her husband had ascended to the Sun she went around each city collecting the parts of her beloveds corpse and was able to collect all except for his penis which is why we see the phallic symbol on world landmarks and is the true meaning of the Christmas tree also with Nimrod’s birthday falling on December 25th. This proves the festive season to be just another repackaged ancient Babylonian mystery teaching like everything else we celebrate blindly.

Semiramus gave birth to a son on December 25th and claimed it was the reincarnation of Nimrod who had returned to rule the world, this time of year is known as the birth of the new Sun. The dance of creation and destruction is riddled throughout this story and that brings us to the sun and moon worship and how the Liver Buildings have this same theme etched into them.

The Liver Birds face east and west. The male looks over the city to the east (the people) while the female looks over the River Mersey (Prosperity) to the west. Anybody who lives in Liverpool can look at the sky every day and see the Sun rise in the east and watch it follow it’s path right over the city before setting over the Mersey to the west, this is what the Liver Birds are depicting. They are honouring the sun and moon as they travel across the city.

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I mentioned Neptune earlier, Neptune was the name that ancient Romans gave to the Greek god of the sea and earthquakes, Poseidon. He was the brother of Jupiter (Zeus) and of Pluto (Hades). Below is an image of the Liverpool Coat of Arms and look who features with his pitchfork along side our flying friends….

The ambassador of Liverpool, the Devils brother himself, oh what a lovely tea-party.

The next word I want to show you is liver as in the first half of the word Liverpool this is something I have been eager to get to, and as always I did learn a thing or two myself. So here goes with one of the most revealing parts of the article as it confirms Liverpool is under a spell and how we are caught up in a spiritual war which Alfie has been caught up in and how most of this information is unknown to the masses.

This is a cryptic corker if ever I have seen one and the numbers don’t lie. Straight out the bag we have 30 in the Full Reduction but Freemasons do not recognise the zero so this drops down to a 3 and 3 is the magic number which is a reference to the Holy Trinity and the Rosa Mystica which we will get back to later when we look at Nelsons Monument on the grounds of Liverpool Town Hall, and believe me it is loaded with 88’s.

Reverse Full Reduction of the word Liver gives us the number 33 which is not good. The Reverse Ordinal is 69 and this brings us to the 69/96 as above so below mirror. This is seen on every Masonic Lodge entrance and is symbolic of the Royal Arch. The number 96 has left an ever lasting pain on The City of Liverpool with the victims of the Hillsborough tragedy tallying up to the occult number. The diagram below shows the number 69 on the Royal Arch. Can you see the hallmark of the Freemasons all over Hillsborough? I can.

In case you wanted more information on the Royal arch, here is a screenshot from the Liverpool Group of Lodges & Chapters website which you can click to be directed to the page that explains all. Who do you think make these decisions? normal people like me and you do not sit in these offices making these choices, all this with Alfie is from higher up, much higher up than you can imagine.

To finish off on he liver we have Chaldean 17 which is 1+7=8 which is a Saturn reference, I will cover that subject later on in the article but we end the numbers game on English Ordinal 66.

In Greek mythology, Prometheus was punished by the gods for revealing fire to humans, by being chained to a rock where a vulture (or an eagle) would peck out his liver, which would regenerate overnight. (The liver is the only human internal organ that actually can regenerate itself to a significant extent.) Many ancient peoples of the Near East and Mediterranean areas practiced a type of divination called haruspicy, where they tried to obtain information by examining the livers of sheep and other animals.

In Plato, and in later physiology, the liver was thought to be the seat of the darkest emotions (specifically wrath, jealousy and greed) which drive men to action. The Talmud refers to the liver as the seat of anger, with the gallbladder counteracting this.

The term “Talmud” normally refers to the collection of writings named specifically the Babylonian Talmud.

In other biblical and spiritual references the liver also signifies interior purification, for the liver purifies the blood, but the intestines purify those things from which the blood is derived. This denotes the good of the external or natural man, is because by the bullock, in which is this caul, is signified the good of innocence and of charity in the external or natural man (AC 9990).

Elsewhere the liver signifies the external good of innocence such as belongs to infants, because before the rest of the viscera have been fully formed for their use, which is the case when the infants are embryos, these are nourished through the liver, all the nutritious juice is brought there through the placenta and the umbilical cord from the womb of the mother. This juice corresponds to the good of innocence.

Do you understand this is why Liverpool has so much pain over the years? This is the reason we endure tragedies like Hillsborough, whilst the families have been forced to fight these Freemasons for Justice for the 96 for almost three decades. This is why Alfie and his parents have been put through hell?

It has been said before that you can’t knock Liverpool down and keep it down, the people will remain strong spirited through the darkest days and these people who initiate this pain on our city know this. They have us placed in an emotional loop of which they thrive on the negative energies it creates. Yes our city has had its good times but they have come at a price. The founders of Liverpool struck a deal with the devil in return for prosperity and the pain inflicted since has been the price to pay for success. it is coded into the name of the city it is in our faces day in day out. We live in the liver loop. The liver (spirit) regenerates the pool (people) after purification of the blood occurs (sacrifice) and it will go on forever (loop).

They are playing sick games with us Liverpool and I will do all I can to bring you the information to open your eyes to it all. I understand this is difficult to take in but please just keep observing and learning, then pretty soon it will all make sense.

Writing this article for you and highlighting so much darkness surrounding our city is not nice, it is draining and this has been so sad to see what I see and not be able to make enough of you aware. For the past 24 hours we have all been part of a collective consciousness with us all hoping, praying and wishing for a happy outcome in the life of Alfie Evans and his loving family. I have tears in my eyes because I know they have been put through this ordeal by design and to see my city stand up to the powers that be the way we have has made me proud to be able to present you to the world in my own unique way.

We are still awaiting Alfie’s release but given the amount of energy we have put into this effort at the last minute, I can not see how they can carry out the horrific murder of the 2 year old boy who we have on our minds more than ever right now but we do live in a sick world where these people lust off human and child sacrifice.

I am telling you the city is fighting pure evil head on.

I hope reading the article helped you ti understand why this is happening, it will be difficult for many, but there is a lot of people who will get exactly what I am saying. You will not see this point of view anywhere else. This 6000 word article with videos and pictures tells you why Alder Hey continued to stand their ground on plans to murder little Alfie as of Friday, 13, 2018. This now means we are likely to see crowds gathering outside the hospital to grow as more people have time of work to join the protest which has received world wide coverage via Facebook Group Alfies Official Army. This is the one main weekend of the year where the city would usually unite in memory of the Hillsborough victims. 29 years after the horrific day in Sheffield, Liverpool faces another weekend of despair when April 15th arrives, but this year there are fresh wounds being inflicted, and all our thoughts are with Alfie Evans and his parents along with their immediate friends and family.

Alfie Evans Alder Hey 444 Sacrifice Ritual Attempt In Liverpool? Friday 13 Tom Evans and Kate James, from Liverpool, have faced a battle to keep their 22-month-old son Alfie Evans alive.

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