#zenmom memories

[zenmom]

ZenBillyalla came into my room while I was reading a book.

Simply put, this book that she was talking about was the one that has my childhood drawings in it, from when I was 11 and it was done in a time series of a few years. Its detail is that the front cover and a few pages is ripped off, showing the first drawing and exposing it to weathering. Yes, it WAS thrown into the toilet by my brother when I teased him. My sister knows that, the only fact.

Well yes, I’ve no idea what happened to it but when I was cleaning my room one particular day some time ago, I was wondering what to do with the old drawing books. I wished I’ve put it in a safer container as I’ve no idea what happened to it. I would obviously not throw it way, but I might have as my mind had a particular thought at that time.

As to answer your question why she’s asking about it, my imaginary twin sister was created a good time ago, meaning she knows the history of me and that particular character. She knows that I held a childhood grudge against him. That I never would mention his name and if someone mentioned his name, I get a slight bit uncomfortable and act as if I don’t know who he is. Why is she so interested in looking at the memories I made in the past? Was it all because I reviewed a game? “Yes, all because you reviewed that game” Bill replied. “You came up with the concept that cuz I’m imaginary that we share the same memories from the day I was created. Therefore, we have similarities in mind.”

#zenmom #zenbillyalla #my imaginary twin sister #toon zen #sigh. is it embarrassing enough to have her in my head? look… I created her and still have her #because I was lonely at that time. that should make sense as to why she still exists #she lives in my head rent free #zen origins #zenmom memories #I wonder where the adventures book go to… the same place? or was it also safe?

[zenmom]

The idea of never going back to cherished places make me cry… nostalgia hurts, long time ago memories hurt, missing how things used to be…

Here’s me shedding tears and eating ice cream 🍨 .

#zenmom #toon zen #nostalgia hurts #nostolgia #nostalgic #zen origins #zenmom memories #i just want to cry #i just want to sleep

[zenmom]

Wow! The memories of this! I don’t understand why this isn’t popular. I mean, I like mashup ideas like these. You’ll also understand the reason why ‘La Da Dee’ is the only song I absolutely hate.

#zenmom #zenmom memories #the mysterious guy

[zenmom]

@jestierabbit’s day 19 of Ostober, Adventure! With my day of music.

“Hey! This isn’t our music! We know what ours sound like, but at least this music feels like we’re going on a legendary adventure! Right Zen? Zen?” *me: flashback of the not so good past*

Sorry, couldn’t find a way to slap the audio onto the photo.💀 You’ll have no idea what music I was talking about since I just want the audio to play without you finding out the name. God this process is complicated!

#zenmom #oswald the lucky rabbit #mickey mouse #epic mickey #epic mickey 2 #song from the past #this haunts me #toon zen #will I have to put the audio down despite the fact that when you go to the link you’ll find out the name of the audio I fear? #the audio isn’t bad or anything. it’s just that my imaginations drove me a bit too far. the music is actually good but you know how #negative memories work right?

[zenmom]

I miss how things used to be. I love my childhood things dearly. I miss my little imagination of happy blue and green with the red of a ladybug child superhero I was.

The plot of Zen Origins.

#zenmom #zen origins #I might want to drop lore if anyone’ willing to read my lore #here I am lying on my back. going through the memories from over the years #it’s like looking at pieces of my own lore of what make up me

[zenmom]

Thinner Queen reminiscing the past. I loved that silly little yellow friendly bear, Shongololo. For the love of my life and my hobby, I loved reading. I had fun with my friend, @pixelatedbones during the period of school times that she helped me open my mind to liking new stuff and be obsessed over with, other than the game and its main character I used to play and be obsessed with. She even introduced me to miraculous Ladybug’s lore (yes, I’ve heard of the show and know it exists before I met her) and Steven Universe (her friends were talking about Steven’s neck and that led to my obsession with Spinel) and My hero academia.

I had fun as a little kid. It was fun while it lasted.

#zenmom #toon zen #thinner queen #I can imagine her tearing up as she looks and looks at her memories #there are very few things I’m glad to have partly forgot. #I think she’s in a bar or pub or something

[zenmom]

Some angst this time.

Sitting alone. Feels an emotion of betrayal or devastation. No one else than the backup detectives appreciate the work she’s done and analysed. With each passing second, a burning rage of sorrow and anger mixing together like troubled waters of the sea, pushes her emotional urge to unleash magic at very near catastrophic levels. A magic stemmed from negativity. Or perhaps, something, that only one thing, could fix all of this…

Yeah I pretty much try my hardest not to cry. My anger maybe be caused by inconvenience and frustrations , my disgust by, well, disgusting things, my fear by the desire to live to deliver the evidence and triumph of bravery. But sadness, a strong one indicates that I’ve got problems buried in my head. That the problems are hard to solve or emotional. Of all my emotions, I show my sadness the least.

#zenmom #toon zen #the backup detectives #the backup detectives Zenmom #angst #memories. problems and the mix are what circulate in my brain. #what a lonely childhood #I am beginning to respect Thinner more and more

[zenmom]

Something about goofy kicking the bucket

Mickey is devastated.

#zenmom #toon zen #mickey mouse #goofy goof #epic mickey #I brought goofy to wasteland to spend time with him collecting useful mickey junk #apparently I had a memory about sans joking about zingers…dingo… -whatever-kicking a bucket. #and that joke seemed to work fine here too! hahahaha😂💀 #that’s what I remember what actually happened… he really kicked the bucket. #so goofy #goofy’s fine btw

[zenmom]

So, uh.

I tried to apply for animation courses at the university my mom works at…. Those courses aren’t ready yet as they are in development. And animation is a very niche market in my country, but I’m thinking of going out to the world with my animation, so the professor of media who know about the animation recommended an array of animation apps and one of them is 3D called Blender.

Well, I would be happy to be able to learn to animate.

#zenmom #blender #learning animation #lately I’m having trouble with keeping up with most of the stuff said #maybe I should have my memory and cohesion checked out

[zenmom]

I seriously need to figure out how to compile all of Thinner Queen’s stuff into one neat masterpost

The Backup Detectives Memories Arc will start in June/July where most of you and me will have holidays (hopefully Skully is on this holiday too). This arc will just be about Mickey’s friends reminiscing the times they spent with BD Zenmom after she got taken out by Thinner Queen. It will cover interesting and fun facts about BD Zen they remember about her.

#zenmom #thinner queen

[zenmom]

So I went through my old art book (should’ve kept the book that my bro threw in the toilet once somewhere safe where I would not have a memory that I put it in the bin for removal. That’s awful) and I do wish I would not find my art cringy because of that childhood grudge against that character

So yeah, she is a Candy nymph and I designed her some years ago. Surprised that I got most of her details right. Yes, her is Shuka rush, a pun on Sugar Rush. Looks like I’ll do some more digging into that book. Yaaaay me!’👋🏻😒👋🏻’. Yes, her personality is sweet and bubbly like you’d describe any character with attributes to candy.

Zenmom Origins LETS GOOOO!

#zenmom #zen origins #candy nymph #I’m surprised that my old art is sooo near to my current art. but I’m still glad I can still add in details #I’m also glad that my understanding of human autonomy is better but hands and faces are still a nightmare (sort of) #the complicated hand posture and gestures