tf2-sfw-headcanons

[tf2-sfw-headcanons]

is it okay with you if I get inspired to make my own version of a headcannon youve done

Yes, of course!

#blog might be dead but im not #ofc y'all can use my hcs for your own stuff!! #even if im no longer active i post stuff so ppl can run with it :D

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Hey!! If you see any asks that are making you uncomfortable then don't feel pressured to answer them. It's your blog, do what you want. Maybe making a rule list would also help in getting less of them?

Good idea, anon. A lot of those asks were kinda old anyway, building up over the year and 1/2 I abandoned this blog for. 

#im not entirely certain if people even read rule lists but #i suppose its worth a shot? #Anonymous

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How would the mercs react to their s/o having a panicattack ? (also sorry for my bad english)

I already did something super similar to this here anon! 

#god how old are these #Anonymous

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How would everyone act at a funeral? People like the mercs and Miss. P , Admin , Saxton, etc.

Funerals are a super uncomfy topic for me anon, sorry.

#ceremonies in general actually #includes weddings and stuff #they trigger my social anxiety pretty bad #plus the fact ive never been to a funeral #Anonymous

[tf2-sfw-headcanons]

Mercs react to s/o who has tourettes

Tourettes isn’t exactly something I know much about, I’m sorry anon!

#i'd rather not step out of my boundary #Anonymous

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I didn’t even see the stuff that was in my inbox! whoops!!

#i'll sort through them #i saw a couple that are a bit :// #bit outta my comfort zone

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Your sniper headcanons are P E R F E C T and absolutely spot on!!!

thank you anon 🥺🥺🥺

#Anonymous

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TF2 and CSGO source codes leaked, precautions recommended

A tweet from @SteamDB has been released stating the following, containing an image of numerous folders from the leaked code:

Source code for both CS:GO and TF2 dated 2017/2018 that was made available to Source engine licencees was leaked to the public today. 

As such, there have been numerous tweets and recommendations to not play these games due to chances of security exploits that could potentially brick your PC such as this tweet from @teamfortresstv:

Due to the recent source code leak for TF2, there have been reports of RCEs (Remote Code Executions) being discovered in the game. For this reason, we highly recommend against playing Team Fortress 2 until a response from Valve is released.

While there has been no confirmation of malware or exploits confirmed regarding RCE, Cathook (which has been infamous for recent hacker bot waves and server crashes) has been cited as the biggest danger involving this. The programming language C++ has a potential to enable buffer overflow exploits if a bug is present that allows it.

(cw slurs)

Allegedly, a screenshot has began rotating around regarding Cathook posting in the official TF2 alerts. It has not been confirmed whether this screencap is real or not.

Regardless of the multitude of information flying around, it is recommended to not play either Counter-Strike: Global Offensive or Team Fortress 2 until the issues have been addressed for safety. 

We will continue to update on this situation as more information is clarified and addressed.

Mod Note | Uber: Our other admin CriticalFlaw who actually knows things about coding is probably the best person to discuss more about it, so I’ll reach out and see what he has to say. 

EDIT: Mod Note | CriticalFlaw: At this moment, I’d say it’s a real risk to be playing TF2. While I’m not familiar with how this RCE works, I have read about another RCE for TF2 from almost three years ago. It can supposedly be done with just being in the server. It may not happen to most people playing, but the threat is there and I think it’s better to be save than sorry until it’s known how this particular RCE works and/or Valve responds/fixes it. 

Even if the screenshots posted to Reddit are fakes meant to stir people, with the source code being out there, a malicious variant of the RCE can and probably will be developed. 

#important

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we all think the mercs are sexy because WE CANT SMELL THEM

I can guarantee they all smell like sweat and dirt and depression and I just can’t tolerate that.

#the mercs #q

[tf2-sfw-headcanons]

Controversial Sniper Takes:

Sniper does not, in any way, shape, or form, keep jars of piss anywhere near his van.

He empties the unused jars after battle and hoses them off outside before taking them out to battle the next day

The only jars in his van are for food/drink/other small items and are clearly marked

Sniper showers daily on base and brushes his teeth (have you seen meet the sniper. Have you?!)

This is just canon but he’s a really polite and reasonable driver

Sniper, while quiet, polite and maybe ever modest, greatly enjoys being around the team and all their shenanigans.

He’s a huge dork as well

Sniper has hair and various scars from various animals and other hitman mishaps. He also has freckles on his shoulders, back and chest

Not really controversial but Sniper is very proficient in not only sniping, archery and using his kukuri but hand to hand combat

He’s best friends with scout, engie and demo

He was extremely excited for the Uber implant, even if never Ubered after

Sniper has bullet scars from when he was shot to death along with the surgery scars and they’re a painful reminder to him

Sniper couldn’t look at medic right for a while after comic 6

We all know this but he’s gay as shit ok. We just know

He hates being called skinny deep down but he learned to brush it off

It’s canon but he’s really good at hunting and butchering

He thinks scouts stupid jokes are funny (also just canon)

He doesn’t smell bad spy is just mean. Spy smells way worse than sniper

#sniper #oh. oh my god. its been almost two years and im posting here again #idk how long this will last. may be a few hours #maybe up to a week #longer? #we'll see

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A swarm of pissed off hornets

And Scout's intense fear of them (Headcanon)

(Brief return to bring you this post I found in my drafts, I do not remember writing this but I like it, hopefully you will too!)

Scout has a phobia of hornets and wasps (and related spawns of Satan). Not the kind of fear that just involves being uncomfortable - no. The presence of enough hornets will launch Scout into a severe panic attack.

More under the cut.

A particular (set of) incident(s) at the base (where they stay outside of battle) revealed this to the team. Engie had discovered a hornet's nest inside the framework of the building. He originally thought that one place was where all the hornets were, but then they started showing up everywhere.

Hornet Encounters (involving Scout):

10:36am: Scout was messing about in the courtyard when he met a single hornet, hovering in a corner somewhere. Naturally he froze, then began slowly backing away from it. The hornet followed. Sniper happened to be looking out at the courtyard through his scope; probably looking for targets to shoot at or something. He saw the hornet, and he (somehow) shot the hornet out of the air and into a nearby wall. Scout visibly relaxed upon seeing it dead, and shouted a thanks at Sniper, before retiring inside. He was only a little unsettled at this point.

11:47am: Scout had just wandered into the kitchen, where a hornet was crawling on the wall. On seeing it, he tensed, his breathing became uneasy. Spy happened to pass the room as this happened, from behind Scout. Unlike Sniper, Spy instantly sensed Scout's fear. Spy didn't much like hornets himself  - but an instinct kicked in, so he cloaked and slowly approached it, and upon uncloaking, he stabbed it. The hornet was still writhing on his knife as he exited, but he made sure to cover this up. He left the room without a word - Scout relaxed, and his breathing regulated a little - though he was still shaken.

12:42am: Scout wandered past Engie's workshop, where he was discussing the hornets with Medic - they were figuring out the best methods of disposing of the nests. Suddenly, 5-6 hornets rushed out of seemingly nowhere, and targeted the first moving thing they saw - Scout. Seeing the hornets, he took off as fast as he could, running headlong into Heavy. He was only startled for a second, but saw the incoming hornets. Recovering quickly, he managed to catch all 6 and promptly crushed them in his hands. Scout, however, was crumpled up on the floor, trembling and sobbing - the pissed off hornets had finally gotten to him. Heavy watched as he slowly pulled himself into a corner, struggling to breathe and still shaking. Medic and Engie rushed in afterward. Medic saw Scout in the corner, and recognised what was going on. He had seen this many times before, and even though it had possibly been decades since he had dealt with a situation like this, he firmly remembered what to do. It took half an hour to get Scout in a stable enough condition to take him to Medic's office - where he remained for the rest of the day.

1:28pm, in Medic’s office, when Scout is more relaxed.

"After all the shit I see and do everyday, hornets is what sets me off?" Scout complained, leaning forward in the office chair he had been placed in.

"Zat is normal compared to vat I haffe seen before. ” Medic shuffled some papers and turned to look at Scout. “I am not concerned, you should not be either."

"But hornets? Dat's nothing compared to-"

"Scout, you forget zhat I used to have a medical licence, ja? And zhat I vonce vorked in a hospital. I have seen every fear - yours is not all zhat bad. Everyone has pathetic fears - yours is... mediocre, in comparison." Assured Medic, putting some documents in a draw.

"...you sure?"

"Ja."

Other Mercs visiting Scout after 1:30pm

Pyro came in like 50 times to make sure Scout was okay

Demoman came in with a blanket and booze (which Medic took out as soon as Demo left - alcohol is never good for anxiety.)

Heavy glanced in a few times, partly to make sure Medic wasn’t doing anything questionable, but also to check on Scout and give him a reassuring smile/thumbs up.

Engie came in a few times and doted over him a little, supplied (warm, cooked) food, etc.

Sniper stopped in with hot drinks, and sat around for a while trying to make Scout laugh with jokes - which were mostly sarcastic jabs at the other mercs, though it did the job.

Spy didn't go in, but skulked around Medic's lab for the rest of the day, looking for stray hornets to stab. He found about 5.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 scout #tf2 pyro #tf2 demoman #tf2 engie #tf2 heavy #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #huh soldier never once got involved #weird #scout #medic #< since they're the mains in this story i cba to tag anyone else #i kinda miss u guys but ive moved on :( #though im putting together an anti-gcse blog #(theyre the british education qualification thingy) #with my friend its @suck-my-aqa #if u wanna look at that #anyway gotta go #see ya!

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Headcanons about mercs and their s/o who loves cars and is an excelent driver?

GOD ANON I’M SORRY THIS TOOK ME 300 YEARS!! 

Scout

Appreciates their driving skills, since he can’t drive, at all.

Completely clueless when they start chattering about cars, but he’s happy that they have something they love and know so much about.

Trusts their judgement completely; both in the car itself and how to drive it. 

Soldier: 

Pretends to know as much as his S/O, even though he knows nothing.

Will sit and nod along to everything they say on the subject, despite not getting it.

Is sceptical about their driving skills at first, but he’s sold after a trip to the supermarket.

Pyro

They struggle to understand the appeal, but support their S/O anyway.

Their S/O’s skill in driving is always appreciated, since bad driving scares them.

The excited passion they see in their S/O’s eyes whenever they get to talk about cars warms their heart.

Demo

Since he’s not allowed to drive, Demo loves sitting in the passenger seat as his S/O drives them around.

Has incredibly limited knowledge, but tries to entertain his S/O’s conversation as much as possible.

Sometimes says offhand things that kinda piss off his S/O, but it is all in good humour.

Heavy

Tries to follow his S/O’s interest and love for cars, but doesn’t really get it.

He and his S/O will often have evenings where they sit quietly and read together, either a book Heavy has already been reading, or books on cars.

Heavy is incredibly appreciative of his S/O’s excellent driving skills, since he finds it so difficult himself.

Engie

He’s delighted to see his S/O have an interest in something mechanical!

They often have long, convoluted conversations about cars, however his S/O’s knowledge far surpasses his own.

Sometimes they argue over which of their favourite mechanics are better (Cars vs Guns), even though it’s entirely subjective.

Medic

Constantly asks his S/O if they can drive him places, usually to buy/sell organs.

Has asked if they think it might be possible to turn a person into a car.

Likes to listen to their S/O talk about cars when doing surgery and the patient isn’t conscious.

Sniper

He’s wary of his S/O’s opinion of his camper van.

They critique each other’s methods of driving, though Sniper doesn’t have all that much to say.

When he lets his S/O drive his van, he’s super nervous, despite knowing that they’re a good driver. He relaxes soon after, though.

Spy

Spy doesn’t quite get the obsession, though he will listen to them talk about the subject, even if he doesn’t give much input.

Trusts their judgement when indulging in some expensive locomotive shopping.

Though, this can spark arguments over what looks better, as they both have different perspectives that tend to clash.

#tf2 scout #tf2 soldier #tf2 pyro #tf2 demo #tf2 heavy #tf2 engie #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 headcanons #honestly anon i am genuinely sorry it took me until august to post this

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how would the mercs react to their s/o asking them to dance with them?

I’m a bit rusty so this is kinda all over the place, but I hope it’ll do anon! (Sorry it’s so late!)

Scout: He’d be taken aback, but just for a second, before his brain kicks back into motion. Sure he will! It’s a chance to show off! (And to get close to S/O)

Soldier: Without hesitation, sweeps their S/O away into a badly improvised dance. When he realises he’s not doing too well, he lets his S/O take the lead.

Pyro: They’re a bit hesitant, but he agrees. They’re just a bit scared they’ll mess it up.

Demo: He’d look at his S/O for a few seconds, and ask “Are ya’ sure?”. When S/O confirms, he happily agrees. 

Heavy: He would love to! He has a secret love of dancing, as he used to do it with his mother and sisters to lighten the mood on the worst on nights.

Engie: The type of dance that S/O has suggested is probably far different from his definition, but he’ll give it a go.

Medic: Dancing isn’t his thing, he’ll say, he’s always said it. When S/O asks, he is slightly drunk and thinks “It can’t be that bad, ja?” 

Sniper: God almighty, getting this man to do a dance - what type? Because if it’s anything fancy he’d rather not.

Spy: Well of course! He’s experienced at every type of dance! He gracefully sweeps his S/O away.

#tf2 scout #tf2 soldier #tf2 pyro #tf2 demoman #tf2 engineer #tf2 heavy #tf2 medic #TF2 Sniper #tf2 spy #TF2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 headcanons

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The mercs' reactions to accidentally triggering their s.o. into an anxiety attack please and thank you!!

Thanks for the ask anon! Sorry it took so long!

Scout: He’s panicking a bit, but he tries to make his S/O as comfortable as possible, and stays with them. He has not idea what to do, so he just sits it out with them. 

Soldier: He’s confused, but understands that something has severely upset S/O. Going into defense mode, he tries to build up a small fortress or something to keep his S/O secure while they deal with it.

Pyro: They’re in full panic mode, and run off to find someone to help, usually Engie. After they’ve enlisted help, they do not leave S/O’s side until they feel completely fine again.

Demo: Takes his S/O somewhere secluded and quiet, so they can regain a little more grip on everything. Tries to take them through a breathing exercise he learned ages ago. 

Heavy: Holds them firmly, takes them aside and away from distractions. He will find them a blanket, and get them a glass of cold water. Sits down with them and talks to his S/O reassuringly until they are okay.

Engie: He holds his S/O’s hand, rubs their back and helps them regain steady breathing. Brings everything they may need - tissues, water, blankets - at inexplicable speed. (Separate headcanon: he has had anxiety issues in the past - he absolutely understands)

Medic: Picks up his S/O and takes them back to his office if he can, at a moderate speed. His doves flock around them offering comfort while he looks for a clean glass and soft blanket.

Sniper: Escorts his S/O to a seemingly pre-planned quiet spot, no matter the location. He then leaves them there, but is back in no less than a minute with blankets or water, depending on the location. 

Spy: Swiftly places his jacket over their shoulders, and takes them to a place without people. He talks to them, gently reassuring them and rubs their back, not leaving for a second, only focused on his S/O.

#tf2 scout #tf2 soldier #tf2 demoman #tf2 pyro #tf2 heavy #tf2 engie #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #scout tf2 #tf2 heacanons #lmao my self-indulgent ass had to change all the 2nd person pronouns i put in #got really invested in this one #im an anxious wreck and u ppl scare me #:p

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Permanent Hiatus.

Hoo boy, this is kinda... hard to do. I’m gonna get straight to the point. 

I’m not really invested in this blog, or TF2 in general, anymore. I kinda just... lost interest. However, this blog really has been a good experience for me, and I’m genuinely thankful for all of my now 500+ followers. That’s genuinely the most recognition I have ever gotten online, in my life, and I am very proud of it.  I honestly expected this to last longer, but times change. I had a lot of fun here.

My last 3 posts, one of which I have had in my drafts since the beginning, will be put on the queue. I won’t delete this blog, but it will generally be inactive after the last post goes up. Feel free to continue following, though. If you want to see more of me, then you can go look at my shiny new headcanons blog for Camp Camp: @camp-camp-headcanons or my blog for Bully/Canis Canem Edit (my most active fandom blog): @sad-boy-pete or my main blog, @ugh-middle

My askbox and submissions will stay open, but any headcanon requests will be deleted.  Thank you!

#mega oof #though its for the best #sorry @ car anon #ive kept you waiting for like 4 months

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If the mercs had Youtube Channels

Spy - The most bitter advice channel you’ll ever see. He had to be talked into making the channel, but now he enjoys sassing strangers on the internet. “NO, you cannot pair that wine with pasta, what are you thinking??” “Dump him, he’s wasting your time.” “Yes, fool, you can still get a girl pregnant like that. I learned the hard way. Next question-“

Sniper - Sniping/archery trickshot videos. He’s alone most of the time, but still pretty proud of his skills, so he wanted to show off a bit. And the internet loves watching somebody hit an apple from 200 yards away with one arm tied behind his back while in a moving vehicle.

Medic - Recordings of surgeries. He explains what he’s doing and the science behind it, as well as telling cheesy doctor jokes and funny surgery stories. He actually gets a pretty good following, and people start wanting to know more about him personally, so he occasionally does videos answering questions or things like, “Meet my birds!” “Why I technically don’t have a medical license”

Scout - Vlogs and prank videos. His titles seem extremely Clickbait-y, saying stuff like, “MY DAD IS TOM JONES! NOT CLICKBAIT!” but they’re always somehow true. (Well, bad example, but he thinks it’s true.) He’ll sometimes start getting a little too deep and have to catch himself, like, “Ya know I think it really did a number on my self esteem as a kid, not having a dad… But, uh, sorry, anyway, I’m gonna put a ghost pepper in Heavy’s sandwich now.”

Pyro - Weird things like “Proving toilets are flammable” and “Burning building ASMR.” You never hear them talk or see them, except when they sometimes hold a thumbs-up in front of the camera before lighting something on fire. Even then, they’re wearing their gloves.

Soldier - 10-20 minute nonsensical, unedited rants about America. Sometimes he’ll invite Zhanna on and say things like, “Have you ever seen such a beautiful woman in your life, aside from Lady Liberty herself?! I think not!”

Heavy - He makes russian literature crash course videos and book reviews. He only records in Russian but he makes sure they are captioned in both Russian and English. Rarely he’ll post something he just found neat, like, “Very large bear outside my house.”

Demo - Only posts drunk vlogs with very bad image quality. He just rambles about whatever he feels like and sometimes will drunkenly show off his sword or explosive equipment. He gets a small following just because people think he’s funny, even though no one can tell what he’s saying half the time.

Engineer - DIY robotics/engineering videos. Half of his videos are very advanced things like, “Can my AI pass the turing test?” but the other half are very basic, easy to understand videos part of an “Introduction to Engineering and Robotics” series aimed at younger kids. He didn’t intend to make the series when he started, but he kept getting comments and questions from 10-13 year olds who were interested in it, and he couldn’t help himself from trying to teach them. He’s very positive and supportive, and replies to a lot of the comments he gets.

#scout #soldier #pyro #demo #heavy #engie #medic #sniper #spy #q #long post

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How would the mercs be like if they had a s/o who was super sensitive and tended to cry often? And how would they help? Thank you so much your blog is rad!💕❤️

scout- secretly, scout is a bit of a crybaby. i mean–obviously he’s TOUGH and a MAN, but crying doesn’t hurt anybody. he would put his arm around them/pat their back/touch their shoulders to comfort them. he’d ask if they wanted anything to drink (they have to stay hydrated).

soldier- he’s very bad at comforting other people when they’re sad or crying. however, he would never leave them alone if they were hurting. he’d probably sit next to them and hold their hands, or help them move somewhere quiet for just the two of them.

pyro- they would have a stuffed animal specifically for when their s/o is not feeling great, which they would pull out. they’re super good at comforting people. they would rub their s/o’s back, hold them tightly, stroke their hair, etc.

demoman- no, please don’t cry! he might cry, too!! he would try to cheer them up with humor if they wanted, or he would pull them into his arms silently if it was really bad. when they feel a little better, he treats them to ice cream or something else yummy.

heavy- watching his s/o cry is painful for him. he would be torn between holding them and destroying the source of their pain, but would settle for staying with them. he gives them warm bear hugs.

engineer- he first has them sit down and grabs them something to drink. he would rub their back. if wanted to talk about it, he’d be all ears. he might pull his guitar out and play something for them.

medic- whatever they need, he’s right there. if they want to talk, that’s fine. he’s very patient with them and probably has them sit in his office where it’s very quiet. he might put on some music.

sniper- comforting others is a bit awkward for him, but he’s not actually that bad at it. he would pull them into him and say comforting, soothing things. he’d offer for the two of them to take a walk and get some fresh air.

spy- he doesn’t always understand it, so he would ask them about the source of their sadness. he’d listen to their problems carefully, letting them vent.

#scout #soldier #pyro #demoman #heavy #medic #engineer #sniper #spy #q