the-skybrary

[the-skybrary]

[Text: This user would like to remind you that introjects, fictives, and fictives can’t choose their source.]

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[the-skybrary]

hey!

u didnt deserve it.

u didnt deserve ANY of it.

none of the abuse, neglect, or anything else that made u a system

u didnt deserve that pain

[the-skybrary]

You are allowed to love being a system, after all, it is what saved your life

[the-skybrary]

i suppress my headmates / mask their behaviour & then im surprised when i feel like im faking because i dont notice switches and we dont have major behavioural differences in public… hello??

not to mention im a control freak host who needs to be forcefully ripped away from front or else i dominate front 99% of the time

#oh this one is too relatable ouch

[the-skybrary]

[the-skybrary]

a sequel to this post

[the-skybrary]

Sometimes blurry means there's too many near front to figure out who is in control

Somtimes blurry means we don't feel like anyone at all

Sometimes blurry means we're someone, but they're new or unknown so we can't tell

Sometimes blurry means there's a mix of a few of us and it's easier to just say we're blurry

Sometimes blurry means we're so dissociated we can't process who we are at all

[the-skybrary]

actually- my chronic & mental illness does define me- it's a very huge part of my life. it can't be ignored. it can't be placed on the back burner. it cannot be "powered through". it is there 24/7 whether or not i want it to be. i have to constantly explain to people why i do things is because of my schizophrenic and autistic neurotypes, or that im in severe pain from one of my various problems that cause pain

trying to mock certain disabled people who have to talk about and seek care for their disabilities on a daily basis is unnecessary and violent. it's oppressive. my disorders literally define me, my schizophrenia and autism dictate most of my behaviors. my body is constantly in pain, my guts are constantly affected by my IBS. i am constantly anxious from my PTSD and constantly dissociating from my DID.

if you personally feel as though your illnesses don't define you, that is great for you. i'm not saying chronically ill folks can't feel that way, but what i am saying is stop punching down on those of us who have a lot of their lived experience rooted in their disorders, diseases and neurotypes.

things go into remission or make progress with healing, but most chronic illnesses never fully go away and it's just bullshit to make chronically ill people feel like they can never complain about their issues. it's not an inconvenience to you, it's us expressing what we're going through. stop acting like us talking about our lived experience is an attack on your person. i'm sorry hearing that someone else is in pain sucks to hear but it sucks FAR more to BE IN PAIN

[the-skybrary]

screaming into the void because that's all I can do

host drew some vent art to cope with feelings about being host for as long as she has

#osdd art #osdd 1b #osdd system #osdd alter #osddid #osdd vent #system mod green #vent art #dissociative art #sometimes its really hard to separate yourself from the person you've been masking as for years and years #and then something happens and you have a breaking point #skybrary art

[the-skybrary]

made after dissociating hard for weeks,,

[the-skybrary]

this post is for the people with memory issues

people who's memories are getting worse every day, who's memories are stable but poor, people who can't remember what they did today or yesterday or this week, people who's childhoods are a faded blur. people who have slow greying-out amnesia that seems to just fade in and out of existence, and people who have complete blackouts, and people who have both. people who mourn the happy memories they know they've lost, who fear the bad memories they've lost that still affect them.

people who have "emotional amnesia" that makes it feel like none of their memories are their own, because there's few or no feelings attached. people who can ONLY remember the feelings from certain or even most memories, not actual events. people who's memory issues scare them or make them angry or make them miserable. people who's memory issues get them called childish or difficult or rude. who can't remember the names or faces of those they love. who are constantly forgetting the things that "you'd remember if you really cared". who misplace everything. who remember so little of their lives that they barely know who they are. people who's memory issues come from trauma/dissociation, ADHD, traumatic brain injury, brain fog/chronic fatigue, drug use, alcoholism. people who have no idea what causes their memory issues. people who's memory issues come from something else entirely.

i love you, you're strong, and you deserve support and care for what you're going through. memory issues can be frustrating and upsetting and disabling, and your suffering deserves to be recognized. whether you're soaring through recovery or are only ever going to get worse, you deserve good things in life and to live the fullest you can, regardless of how much you remember.

[the-skybrary]

by perfect, i mean you always can hear each other and communicate easily, and you always know who’s talking

#give me the internal communication please god #it would make shit so much easier

[the-skybrary]

[Text: This system has lots of fictives because they've always coped with fiction. Please be kind!]

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[the-skybrary]

When you’re mid sentence and suddenly forget literally everything you were talking about

[the-skybrary]

one of the most important things about dissociative identity disorder and generally being a system that i wish people would understand is that it truly isn’t as cut and dry as it may seem for member count.

you’ll see people who say they have “six alters” and then immediately assume it’s six fully fleshed out equal individuals with no confusion or fuzziness regarding identity. that’s simply not true in a majority of cases, as i have seen.

most systems still VERY much deal with confusion regarding potential splits, go through dissociative episodes where they’re unsure of who they are, sometimes feel no attachment towards any identities, feel like they might have split and then suddenly that person is gone, unsure if alters they haven’t heard from often have gone dormant, not sure how to react when alters do come out of dormancy, etc.

it’s not a fun feeling and it’s genuinely unfair in certain situations to force systems to list every single alter to you with full certainty, as if it will never change. because it will. for so many different reasons, systems will grow, they will shrink, they will fuse, they will develop. you can’t expect the person with the dissociative disorder and lack of core identity to be able to keep up a perfected list of forever, it’s simply impossible. you may have alters who stick with you, but that doesn’t mean changes won’t happen.

and systems who may be reading this — please don’t feel bad. you are not a hassle, you are not a headache, and you are not an inconvenience for simply coping with something like this. it’s out of your control and the only thing you can do is continue to cope to find ways to help yourself retrain from these reactions. please don’t allow yourself to be harmed by others who don’t understand what you are going through. there are people who will accept and love you for who you are, all of you.

past, present, and future.

[the-skybrary]

[Text: This system won’t always clarify who’s fronting, but doesn’t mind being asked.]

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[the-skybrary]

put this together in like 40mins with no script so sorry if theres mistakes.

-s

#comic #you are seen S #you are heard #we hope that the world will be kinder to you in the future #dont loose hope