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pricklymuffinzzzzz · 4 months

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TW basically just general system guilt and such

Can we please stop normalizing taking responsibility for other alters actions? Admittedly there are some alters in a system who enjoy taking on responsibility and it’s literally their job.

But that still doesn’t mean they have full control over any other alter in the system. At the end of the day an alters actions are theirs and theirs only.

I usually apologize on behalf of alters but I’m genuinely just tired of it. Especially when singlets expect that’s it’s some sort of moral duty to take care of other alters or clean up their messes.

I don’t want to. I already have to live with the consequences of someone else’s actions. Actions in which I had no say in or control over. I’m just tired of feeling guilty for something I didn’t even do.

Again all alters are individuals, all alters make different choices good or bad. I’m not gonna apologize for someone else’s mistakes. Sorry if that’s controversial lmfao

#did osdd #did system #actually did #did community #did alter #osdd #osdd alter #osdd community #osdd system #osddid #did vent #actually osdd #osdd vent #plural community #actually plural #plural system #plurality

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the-skybrary · 1 month

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A short poem about being an introject/fictive based alter

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magicbungelic · 9 months

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I think the biggest thing contributing to my doubt about being a system is that I'm aware of my trauma, I'm aware I was there during said trauma even if not fully

I don't have the visual memories anymore but I know I did before as part of the old host, after I became aware I'm not the old host anymore (my theory is I split from them) I noticed these visual memories disappeared, but I do remember having them

I remember the pain of them and I stil have some emotional attachment to them even though they don't feel like they're mine anymore

Isn't it the whole point of this entire thing to hide the trauma ? It doesn't make a lot of sense to me that I'm the one forced to live everyday life without any choice and still remember and be affected by the trauma

I'm still forced to live through more stressful situations all by myself, but in times that are not as desperate I can feel the influence of the others. It doesn't make sense to me

Either my brain is very bad at its job or I'm not a system at all. If that's the case then I just don't know how else to explain my experiences, I can doubt being a system all I want but I can't deny that these experiences did happen and that it all matches with being plural. But it doesn't make sense to not be related to this trauma, unless there's some other trauma I'm not aware of, which is possible

Anyway thanks for reading

#questioning system #system #plural #plural community #plural system #questioning plural #pdid #p did #pdid system #partial did #partial dissociative identity disorder #did #osdd #osdd system #did osdd #did system #did vent #osdd vent

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onyx-got-clowned · 3 months

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Can yall PLEASE tell me how to block tags because i am going to rot in my bed because of seeing brain dead posts <- nvm a kind soul helped me :3

this ends up on y’alls tag, that’s mb, tumblr kinda likes to do that 💀

I’m going to rant below, so you pro endos and endo systems can leave before you angrily type in the replies with steam coming out your ears

bro… you all sound fucking stupid as hell i have no remorse for you at all 💀 “endos deserve a place in the plural community to!” Why? Do they get a gold star and a lollipop cus they have ‘people’ in their head? That formed NOT through trauma? Bffr it’s a TRAUMAGENIC DISORDER! NOT PLAYTIME WITH VOICES IN YOUR HEAD! I have suffered through SO much fucking trauma, just for endos to try and exist. Dude, you ARE NOT VALID! Your label goes against literally the entire basic criteria for being a system… i do NOT want to hear from your dumb ass.

“Oh! But stop policing other people’s labels! You can’t do that!” OH NO! WHATEVER WILL I DO! OK GUYS! WITH THAT LOGIC, NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO DISAGREE WITH MAPS, R@PESEXUALS, ETC! BECAUSE WHO AFE WE TO JUDGE? THEIR JUST LIVING THEIR LIVES!

if you support endo systems, or are one, STAY 50,000 yards AWAY FROM ME.

-🩸

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jimposts · 11 months

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I'm not super open with having OSDD. But I'm really upset over the fact some people have said this disorder is fake. It's stupid sure but Christ!!!

Like memories that I should remember, I can't. I can't fucking find them anywhere unless someone says I can for my own being (Love u Gatekeeper /gen)

I would love to be able to recall an event! But I can't! And it's always made me upset!!! And the fact someone can claim this is fake. That I'm faking. That I'm just "roleplaying" makes me so angery.

Yeah I fucking love roleplaying hating people for no good reason. I love roleplaying forgetting who I am in the moment and having to go on. I love roleplaying having full break downs in my head!!! God I fuckingoge that shit.

And to whoever fucking thinks I'm faking or others are. Please kindly fuck off and just block me. And don't leave shit in the tags either saying I'm faking either, I'm just a random user on Tumblr ranting about my experiences.

Listen to others who also have DID and or OSDD, share your experience in the tags. I need some positive shit.

#jaxytxt #other specified dissociative disorder #osdd #osdd vent #osdd system #osdd tag #dissociative identity disorder #headmates #did osdd #d.i.d #mental health #mental health support #please share

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system-vent · 30 days

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I’m fucking tired of people pushing source separation onto me. Is my source problematic? YEAH. Do I still have memories that I hold dear from it?? YES AND I DONT WANT TO ERASE THOSE BY COMPLETELY CHANGING MYSELF !!

I just want my friends back, man. I’ll even take the damn horse.

- a very tired fictive

.

#did vent #sys vent #osdd vent #system vent #no trigger warnings(?)

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entity56 · 2 months

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God. Zim has been blended with me for over 24 hours and I can barely think straight. I have fatigue and he has insomnia, and he's currently reigning that out. It's like I'm thinking for both him and myself and I can't tell where he ends and I begin. Not to mention he is... MUCH different in behavior compared to me, so I keep doing things unconsciously, then coming to and stopping myself. I don't wanna get too into it but it's been a constant battle with myself. I can't even tell what my name is anymore. Sure, when his source was around, I was equally 'attached' to him, but that was metaphorical. Now I am QUITE LITERALLY HIM, partially. He has been taken and sewn to me in the most literal sense without actual physical surgery. I'm considering just giving up and going dormant for a while so he can do fuck all with the body.

#entity??? says #zim??? says #osdd vent #tw: dissociating #actually dissociative #dissociative system #blending #vent

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roadtodiagnose · 5 months

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How did you get diagnosed as a system? All I got was 'well aged 19 is a confusing time' and 'people are complex and multifacited' and 'sometimes a diagnosis is a bad thing' like my guy I AM MADE UP OF DIFFERENT PEOPLE

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futuredreamb0y · 8 months

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existing as a system is so frustrating, i lose so much time, i try to do things and alters either undo them or make it worse, i wish i was alone in my body, i hate existing in my body as it is, but i hate existing in it even more with other people

#system vent #osddid #osdd vent #did vent #tw ana diary #tw ed rant #trans ed

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paper-collective · 11 months

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this DID is killing me. our body needs to display consistency to be gendered correctly, but some alters (me) want to express themselves outside that. what do I even do... I have to suck it up, this hurts me less than it hurts the trans alters to be misgendered, but I don't love it either.

#system vent #did vent #osdd vent #plural vent #alter: hidden name

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synodicsystem · 9 months

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Being a fictive in a majority brainmade system.

It always has bothered me, it always will bother me, that as a fictive in this system, I will never be treated with the legitimacy of a brainmade. I am only known as the “You can’t travel through in here in a car” guy, despite the fact that I have emotions and a role in this system.

╰ 📖

#osdid #system #alters #did system #did osdd #traumagenic system #osdd #fictive #introject #vent #did vent #osdd vent #fictive alter #sysblr

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pricklymuffinzzzzz · 4 months

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Tw system trauma kinda

Recently I’ve been getting a lot of plural people saying that I need to be able to better build boundaries, and comprises with my head mates.

This truly did not make any sort of sense to me. Especially when some of my head mates can not at all be reasoned with.

A specific head mate of mine would attempt to make my life hell even if I tried to set boundaries for them. There is only one alter that is able to set limits for them.

This is a punisher alter of sorts. But this alter is hard to get a hold of and any other alter in the system would immediately be put in harms way if they tried to set boundaries with this one alter.

You cannot build a better relationship with your system or your head mates if they don’t want one. I’ve tried to reason with this alter I really really have. But truly I can’t.

They don’t want to “get better” they don’t want to “recover” and they have absolutely no interest in making any compromises. If they are in the body they truly will do whatever they want.

They don’t care about the rest of us. They never have and I can’t make them compromise with me.