thecanadianthatisntcanadian

[thecanadianthatisntcanadian]

"average president has 2 felony charges" factoid actualy just statistical error. average president has 0 felony charges. Felonies Don, who lives in a state of disgrace (Florida) & has 92 felony charges, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[thecanadianthatisntcanadian]

idk what flag we're all using but here you go lesbians

[thecanadianthatisntcanadian]

we're only 6 shows into the tour

[thecanadianthatisntcanadian]

[thecanadianthatisntcanadian]

[thecanadianthatisntcanadian]

calling that word document a draft by the way im dodging it haha

[thecanadianthatisntcanadian]

magpie.

photo b. kothenbeutel

[thecanadianthatisntcanadian]

anyway check this shit out *turns into a boy* *i still look exactly the same* *youre still just as attracted to me but its different somehow*

[thecanadianthatisntcanadian]

The thing is I do like cliche and over-quoted poetry. Like wow I do love you and I'm glad I exist. You are in a car with a beautiful boy and he won't tell you that he loves you but he loves you. You do only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. There are twice as many stars as usual.

[thecanadianthatisntcanadian]

every august its like. u will feel happy but also unbearably sad

[thecanadianthatisntcanadian]

Spiders are scary. They'll either make you Spider-Man, or you'll become Morgoth. There's no in between.

[thecanadianthatisntcanadian]

I love this au, combines two of my favorite things, and I have Ideas.

-Aragorn is the head of the adventure staff (overnight trips, backpacking, survival) and teaches orienteering and tracking when asked. Sometimes he joins the horseback staff, but he’s happiest when hiking. Semi-famous for using his skills as a tracker to find Merry and Pippin, who had decided to see if people would notice if they went missing. People noticed.

-Legolas is a target sports specialist, and rumors around camp are that he sleeps with his bow like a teddy bear (started by Gimli), and that he once pinned a fly by its wings with an arrow (unproven). He also made his own bow, and some of the bows at the camp’s archery range.

-Gimli is arts-and-crafts, but is also certified to lead caving trips. His favorite things to teach are bead-making and carving (carving only with older kids), and if you give him a bead, he’ll put it in his beard or hair. By the end of summer, he has so much beads that his hair clacks when he walks

-Boromir is the head counselor, and is usually put with the younger kids because he’s just that Good with them. He’s been called ‘dad’ by the youngest ones before (no he didn’t cry what are you talking about). It’s pretty much impossible for kids to not have fun with him, even the most homesick and scared ones.

-Gandalf was the adventure director, but he got too old in the eyes of the people who run the camp, so they made him retire. Now, he’s the CIT manager, and produces the best but most chaotic counselors. The event that made him famous (and retired) was fighting off a bear during an overnight trip and then disappearing, leading to many counselors and campers thinking he died

-Sam teaches rock climbing, knot tying, and rappelling. Kids find him easy to learn from, because he’s on their level (short). His upper body strength is IMMENSE, and he can bench press most, if not all, of his co-workers, one time going as far as to carry Frodo down a mountain after he broke an ankle hiking.

-Frodo was a unit counselor, but branched out into a little bit of everything. As of now, he’s teaching sailing and boating with Galadriel and Arwen. He helps out with campfire nights when he can, often delivering matches if units run out. He’s missing a knuckle off of one of his fingers, and the story of how he lost it changes every year, (lost it in a bet, fought a wolf, had it amputated, etc)

-Merry and Pippin are program staff, meaning they set up theme days and all-camp activities. Their ideas rarely go off without a hitch, but no one can say that they didn’t have fun. Gandalf helps whenever fireworks are needed. They have been confused by campers more times than they can count, and sometimes they introduce themselves as the wrong name, and chances are, if you call one of their names, both will answer.

-Denethor was the acting adventure director after Gandalf retired, but they never hired another actual director for years, and he was fine with that. Then, Aragorn happened. Aragorn rode out of the woods on his horse, handed in an application for adventure director while looking like he hadn’t showered in weeks, and was hired on the spot. Denethor is still pissed about working under a guy who just showed up and “stole” his job

-Merry and Pippin got into quite a bit of mischief as campers and CITs, but got away with pretty much everything. It was a common sight to see them getting taken to Isengard (admin building)

-Legolas and Gimli have a competition to see how many campers ask to have either Legolas or Gimli braid their hair. Loser takes one of the winner’s chores, of the winner’s choosing. It’s friendly, and the kids get neat hairdos out of it, so admin lets it slide

-Galadriel makes and the best friendship bracelets, and it is the highest honor for another staff member to receive one. Gimli has three. Everyone, whether they know it or not, is jealous.

-Campers with Frodo, Sam, Merry, or Pippin, at their encouragement, get midnight snacks from kitchen raids

-Gollum/Sméagol is a camp cryptid

aragorn and legolas but theyre tired camp counselors

#lord of the rings #lotr #aragorn #legolas #gimli #gandalf #frodo baggins #samwise gamgee #merry brandybuck #pippin took #au #summer camp #denethor #galadriel #arwen undomiel #the lord of the rings #gollum

[thecanadianthatisntcanadian]

it’s not ‘talking to myself’ it’s called a soliloquy you fuck

[thecanadianthatisntcanadian]

[thecanadianthatisntcanadian]

chefs kiss...? 😳 no way.... do they? seriously....? 😳

[thecanadianthatisntcanadian]

i like how everybody on this website is an into the spiderverse stan it do not matter if you actually like marvel if you have a tumblr blog you WILL go to bat for miles morales

[thecanadianthatisntcanadian]

mike’s hard past couple of months