thehareswears

[thehareswears]

chill out bro. sometimes i do say i wanna kms to innocuous things but its cause i used to be heavily suicidal and its an impulse reaction ^^ there’s no guarantee that whoever you’re talking to isn’t having that experience. just tell them those jokes stress you out

Bold of you to tell me to chill out on my vent account

You're correct there is no guarantee, but I'm pretty mcfucking sure I know the difference between when this person means it and when they don't.

I'm having a shit day, I gave you no context and no nuance. Very cool of you to defend the subject of my freak out, but I didn’t want this ask. I don't know a single person who DOESNT make a casual mention of life ending, or even a non casual mention of it. But in this situation? It wasn't needed, it was a nonsequitor, I didn’t know what to say.

Thanks for the input bud, please don't do it again I'm just here to scream into the void

#answering asks #the hare declares

[thehareswears]

So funny you're SO FUCKING FUNNY

Mf is joking about suicide like what the fuck am I supposed to say? Sure do it, over your finals, I'm sure that would feel amazing. Or what? Like, oooh no sweetie pookiebear shookums don't kill yourself you're too sexy! I don't know how to respond, I wanna fucking ghost

#beware the hare #vent account #vent post #vent blog #cluster b #mental illness #tw sui ideation #tw sui implied

[thehareswears]

[thehareswears]

Fucking imploding right now because I'm so fucking brave for not screaming at everything that moves

#the hare declares #mental illness #anger issues #mentally unstable #emotional disregulation #bpd meltdown #cluster b #im gonna freak out

[thehareswears]

Ruining your own day by googling your groomer <<<<<<<

FUCK WHY DID I DO THAT HES SO FUCKING UGLY THE KNOWLEDGE THAT HES JACKED IT TO ME MAKES ME WANNA SOB

(Also why must Google have pictures of him? Fuck him and his science)

[thehareswears]

Sticking by this one today, leave me alone to find a nice hole to die in

Why won't everyone just abandon me or hate me already so I can just fucking die

#mental illness #bed rotting #beware the hare #im going to kms #i want to disappear #i want to diiieeee #cluster b #bpd problems #mentally unstable #bpd meltdown

[thehareswears]

Me when splitting teehee

I don't know why I'm being so funny about this, this shit isn't funny this time it fucking hurts I hate everyone even people I should love and thinking about the fact that I do not love those people right now makes me murderous. It's someone else's fault that I feel this way, right? It's not because I went to bed spiteful, it's not because I should get help, it's because you're a fucking shit person and I'm a goddamn saint for putting up with your petulant bullshit.

Slightly directed, but why the fuck do you need all my goddamn attention when you obviously have plenty of other people. You're wasting my time and my energy all for what? Half assed conversation and dry responses when you don't want me to get you off? Just go play with your little friends and don't be so greedy with everyone's attention. I don't believe you ever feel bad, I think you're just scared of getting left, I think you apologize for everything and make your backhanded little comments because you think it'll keep me there, yeah? You're on such thin fucking ice with me it hurts, I thought you were cute, you use me like everyone else does and then you get to be the one to cry. I've seen your type before, I shouldn't have touched you with a 10 foot pole.

#beware the hare #bpd splitting #mental illness #cluster b #vauge posting #if he sees this im so fucked lol

[thehareswears]

[thehareswears]

I don't know what those fucking feeling is, why am I jealous? Is this what envy feels like?

I want what I can't have I want things that I have never had. I'm fucking enraged that I was not afforded the same courtesies in life as others it kills me to know that I have been shortchanged in a way most other people will never experienced.

No one wants to hear about it, no one knows what to say I just want someone to make it right and bridge the gap. I'm having a fucking tantrum all because I will never be validated in my suspicions and I will have to live my whole life with no confirmation of anything I think and I just have to be happy with that

#mentally exhausted #mental pain #mentally unstable #mental breakdance #bed rotting #beware the hare #vent account #vent post #mental illness #cluster b #substance abuse

[thehareswears]

Good morning world!

There's nothing I love more in the morning than thinking everyone who loves me, hates me! And I hate them back!

#bpd splitting #mental illness #borderline personality disorder #cluster b #emotional disregulation #mdd thoughts #vent post #beware the hare #npd safe #aspd safe #the hare declares

[thehareswears]

Yeah I got BDE

(Break Down Energy)

#the hare declares #beware the hare #cluster b #mental illness #breakdown #mental pain #help

[thehareswears]

I'll always be a little bit tired, a little bit hungry

Always a little bit cold, a little bit angry

Always a little bruised, a little bloody

Always on edge, always miserable

Maybe, just maybe, if I get out of myself and ignore my body decomposing around me I'll function right. If I keep the living corpse moving then I'll finally be doing good in life. I'm all of those things and more but no one else cares so why should I?

[thehareswears]

i dont think im better than you i know im better than you 🙄🙄 (nearly sobbing and shaking like a wounded animal)

[thehareswears]

There's no feeling I love more than talking myself out of social events only to experience crippling regret later

I look hotter than she does I look hotter than all of them but my soul is so fucking ugly I'm embarrassed to be seen for fear that someone might catch a glimpse of what an insecure lying lazy piece of shit I am. She thinks she's perfect and radiates it accordingly. The most loathsome human being in my life is so stunning its no fucking wonder why no one would like someone like me as much as her.

Evidence of my failure and my hurt is forever etched in my skin, I'm unwashed and unsightly from neglecting myself, I cannot physically manage to put a pleasant look on my face. I'm a fucking eyesore of course I didn’t want to go out, no one else wanted me there either.

#beware the hare #mental illness #narc crash

[thehareswears]

The amount that She marvels at empathy is so fucking exhausting to hear about and it's so horrible to say that because I know that empathy isn't intrinsic to everyone but it would be so fucking cool if she could remember how to do that all the time. Like holy fuck, there's no goddamn way it's a marvel to her every single time she can put herself in someone else's place and try to see things from another point of view. She's over 40 and she's explaining this to me like it's mindblowing a revolutionary, and yeah it's sweet because she doesn't want me to struggle in this world the way that she has but the thing is, I fucking don't and she would know that if she applied that "mind stretch" to her own fucking child

And just like that I feel like a dick because I know how hard she's worked to get to where she is and it truly is marvelous for her to be so enamored with the idea of empathy. I am very proud of her

#low empathy #emotional disregulation #empathy #mental illness #cluster b #npd #actually npd #narc mom #mood swings #the hare declares #beware the hare #mdd thoughts #vent post #npd safe #aspd safe

[thehareswears]

I just need someone to hold me like a child and tell me it's okay while they light my joint for me and let me cry about things that aren't even close to being real or true but they're real and true to me please please someone please I'll give you all my money

#bpd love #bpd problems #bpd episode #mental illness #bed rotting #beware the hare #please i'm begging #cluster b #substance abuse #mdd thoughts #vent post #im so tired #emotional distress #mentally exhausted

[thehareswears]

I told Doctor Tillis to prescribe an illness

But he said his schedules filled with

Children who need Prozac

Prilosec and Lo-jack

Triple-sec and Lexapro for second-guesses

Drugs that heal

So we can touch instead of feel

/Neurotic Erotic by Will Wood

Rant about being medicated below

I feel like I'm doing a lot of touching instead of feeling recently, being medicated kind of fucking sucks, it's like the difference between being attacked by a feral raccoon and having that same raccoon in a bag. The raccoon is still there, and still very much pissed, but it's not clawing at my face and trying to eat me, you know?

I'll stop taking them once I graduate, they make me so fucking drowsy that I almost can't do anything, it's only better than being unmedicated because I don't have an overwhelming urge to throw myself off the nearest cliff.

I also can't really feel much of anything anymore, focusing on the positive doesn't really work but focusing on the negative isn't really all that easy either. There's just a whole lot of nothing except some anxiety but that's situational.

I don't like that my mom keeps trying to tell me what "our" real problem and how meds don't really work for "us". I really like that she's sympathizing but she's putting me in her position rather than the other way around and she's kind of missing the mark. I wanna tell her off sometimes but she's really trying and I just can't critique that

Anyway that's my rant, thanks for listening

#the hare cares #the hare declares #beware the hare #bed rotting #take your meds #medication #mental illness #cluster b #bpd recovery #aspd safe #npd safe #hpd safe #vent post #mdd thoughts