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theloathsometwinkeater · 4 months

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ranking random soulsborne (mostly elden ring) bosses based on how much i like them but my takes are kinda bad

uhh 30 least liked and number 1 is my favorite

30. godskin duo

nuff said tbh. terribly designed boss. from had no idea how to make it hard so they just chucked two enemies in the dumbass room

29. the monkeys from sekiro

boring copy and paste of guardian ape

28. elden beast

elden beast is probably one of my least favorite fights in elden ring. for some reason torrent isnt available in its arena so you have to go chasing after it every time it runs away 😭😭 average int build fight

you could literally give me melania spamming scarlet aeonia, maliketh with 3x his normal health, and the double crucible knights all in the same tiny cramped room and i would still probably like it more than elden beast

the execution leaves much to be desired; especially for a final boss. give me cool insane bloodborne esque attacks not penis dragon spamming elden stars

27. fire giant

i dont like the fire giant fight. yeah im probably gonna get a lot of 'git guds' for this one but he always gmfu. WHEN HE GETS STUCK ON THE FUCKING TERRAIN I START TWEAKING ITS SO ANNOYING

26. ornstein and smough

smoughs fatass ruins the fight for me i srsly cant take him srsly with that goofy ass giggle

25. death rite bird

design is cool but i really dont like the fight

24. night's calvary

:-( this boss couldve been really cool. its so glitchy in game tho

the altus plateau calvary glitch is really funny tho. if youve never seen it essentially it bugs out if you stray too far from its locked spawn point and gets stuck and stops attacking

23. renalla

ehhhh. i hate int builds. plus i think her fight is kind of boring. maybe im biased

22. magma wyrm makar

hes just annoying. i dont like his design. the lore is cool!!

21. orphan of kos

cool bossfight but i still need to git gud so he ranks low bc i keep dying

20. radagon

ugh. first, hes ginger. second, his attacks are insane. third, hes ginger

19. friede & ariandel (i think thats how you spell it)

fun boss in design but the three phases is insane

18. astel

ehhh. i like astel for the design but the fight reminds me of elden beast. lots of running away for like no reason

at least astel has a somewhat enjoyable fight

17. red wolf

i like the dog bc i think its funny it can do fucking magic and wield a sword but the fight is kind of annoying especially if ur strength build

16. mergos wet nurse

very fun lore wise but the fight is so eh

15. sif :(

such a tragic fight. i think it was well designed tbh but since all ds1 bosses are easy as shit he doesnt place as high on my list of liked bosses

14. godrick

godrick is probably one of my favorite fights due to how fucking dumb he is. he literally crawls toward you and throws wind at you. he has to attach a dragon to his arm to beat you and still fucking loses. all those limbs he grafted to give him power just weigh him down and i think thats really funny

13. margit

margit is a very fun first story boss. his moveset is pretty cool and i have his voice line engrained into my skull

12. moon presence

i love this boss mostly bc of the cutscene since the fight is kind of underwhelming

11. divine dragon

i love the music plus the fight is cool. i like the genre of souls bosses that are very sad and pathetic looking

10. mohg

mohg is one of my favorite fights. i love his voice. i love his music. he gets major points for being a lolicon tho #freemiquella #mohglordofbloodisoverparty

9. artorias

I LOVE THIS FIGHT. whole game you hear about this dude and the fight doesnt disappoint imo. i wish they kept his voicelines

8. maria of the astral clocktower

shes so cool. i love her sm

7. LUDWIG

amazing fight

amazing music

amazing lore

what more could you want points off for being british

6. isshin

isshin is VERY cool. i havent played sekiro in a while but i remember enjoying the fight

5. maliketh

his first phase is eh but his second phase is insane

the attacks are so cool and the fact he bounces off his own fucking attack is insane. what the fuck hes so cool

4. midir

very fun fight. yes its hard but you can really feel how angry and sad he is

3. malenia

honestly one of my favorite fights in ER. yes its hard as shit but her design is so cool and her lore is tragic

points off for nuking radahn

2. fortissax

i love the ost and i love just how... sad and tragic the whole fight feels? hes clearly suffering from the deathblight and the fact hes been fighting it off is so cool. even an immortal dragon cant fight off the deathroot which is insane.

radahn

i love radahn so much

seriously it might be my favorite fight in the series

his attacks are cool. his design is cool. his lore is fucking cool. his fight is so cool-- leading an army into battle and charging radahn is my favorite moment. plus the fact he fucking holds back the STARS is fucking awesome what the fuck hes insane

the tragedy of that accidental patch will never not be funny to me. pre-patch radahn wasnt even that fucking hard 😭😭😭 git gud you fuckign loser. pushed fromsoft so hard they accidentally nerfed him

honorable mentions that include some normal enemies (dislikes):

crucible knight duo

god i fucking hate this fight. crucible knights are annoying on their own but this is a whole new level. dungeon isnt even worth it

rykard

hes... fine... but his pool of lava is annoying plus the magic spam

fia's champions

how the fuck is this an actual boss

valiant gargoyles

FUCKKK THIS BOSS.

agheel

his lore is cool and i like that the dragonburnt ruins hollows like... worship him? its kind of cool. but his fight is either just cheesing or chasing him around. plus his moveset is shared by like every dragon in the game

erdtree avatar

literally just asylum demon

castle sol knight

iykyk. fuck this guy

gideon

FUCK YOUUU

rune bears

what the actual fuck. my first playthrough they absolutely clapped my cheeks

black blade kindred

nuff said

godefroy

literally just a copy and paste of godrick

istvan

weirdly hard? his attacks are insane

pets from dark souls 2

ulcerated tree spirit

the fact that its attack is just flailing around in the tiny ass spaces theyre always put in is so annoying. the one in caelid is insane

honorable mentions that i actually liked

ekzykes, borealis and adula

i think theyre cool. yeah they essentially share the same model as agheel but like... magic dragons

plus i feel bad for ekzykes

placidusax

very cool boss. love him

#elden ring #bloodborne #dark souls #dark souls 2 #fromsoftware #fromsoft games #i love radahn #iguys is this real #did i cook

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