thredsxn

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#{{ hello briarcliff patients. #i've been dead because of school. #got about a week left + monday. #then i will be free and have time to come back hopefully! #mini hiatus methinks. }} #{ ▌✗; outofskin. } #{ ▌✗; tbd. }

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Not so bored anymore

    I was nervous at first to play Dandy Mott.  I’ve had a lot of crazy fandoms with a lot of ooc drama in the past and I was worried that it might happen again here in the American Horror Story fandom.  I was completely shocked with how accepting and amazing everyone was.  I was welcomed as Dandy instead of hated.  I love being here and writing with everyone.  You all challenge me and are kind to me and keep me happy on days that suck in reality. I really appreciate all of you.

The former freaks:

anstifter  illustratedxseal, amazoniisms,  ofpossession, mott-dandy, petitexfreak,  thredsxn, whatprettygirlsyouare, medxum, alighternightmare, holyophelia, gloriamxtt, jimmy-fingers, handyxdandy, misslanawinters, theblackviolet, fionaxgoode,fauxiisms, feellikeacriminal, beardisms, the-fine-art-of-bitchcraft, dupreexx, vaecors  demiised dxmonstra benevolencisms, fortunxteller,  thesmileclown,  thebelxved-ursula, thexpsychosx mxrdrake forthenoblewar motherwouldntletme

The ones I want to trap on a bus forever

death-becomes-you, eideticrose, itsthefunnysidekickkat,  youfuckingfiend, abittangledup, thedepxrted, tatelangdonsblog, purimxgination, daedaluscried, blxndebombshell foreffy , thxtallman, 5xbyx5, findingcarterstevens, rosie-harper, bloodymissmuffet,  ingodwetrustrogers, isabelledaughterofhades, jackdaskerfights, unknownlangdonson, ghostsince1738,  deocrum-torquent,  anincoherentrambler, malihowls, stamilisia, pacific-resistance, godfrxy, barbarastreisandthisbitch, bouchardiisms, smxrtymarty smileformxther charlieiism

#{ ▌✗ ; follow forever. } #{ ▌✗; outofskin. } #{{ thank u son }} #{{ i'm so proud of ur murderous abilities }} #{{ sorry but i'm going 2 have 2 keep ur mom for myself }} #{{ (congrats on all the followers btw) uvu }}

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#{{ It's that time of the year where I contemplate semi-hiatus. #Everything I owe/is due happens to be right after this Thanksgiving break. c': }} #{{ I'll probably take two weeks off of here. }} #{{ Super duper sorry about that! }} #{ ▌✗; outofskin. } #{ ▌✗; tbd. }

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I hate my mother!

              { ƬӨЦЯПIQЦΣƬ!! } ❝—Be GRATEFUL,               Mr. Mott, that you have such a loving and               caring mother. The same cannot be said               for every person on earth. Your supposed              hatred equates a spoiled attitude, given your               luxurious lifestyle. Mother, in the eyes of the              child, is God. You should value how she               caters to your… special interests.❞

#wtdandy #{ ▌✗; answered. } #{{ i'm takin ur mom away }}

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#{{ Me: [drunkenly slurs] I'M JUST SAYIN' #YOU'RE WITH THREDSON AND YOU'RE IN A THERAPY SESSION #HIS DIAGONSIS: y'all're fucked up; that's it }} #{ ▌✗; outofskin. } #{ ▌✗; tbd. }

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                  { ƬӨЦЯПIQЦΣƬ!! } ❝—Mr. Mott, with all due               respect, you do not understand. An internship               is simply out of the question.❞

▌✗ He paused, eyeing the beaming youth with his decadent smile. His lips twitched sardonically. While Dandy wasn’t blood kin, someone would have to pass on his legacy.

            ❝I will give you one chance and one only under             the premise that you can answer this question:             Why? Why do I go through these extremes?❞

"Doctor. I put my trust in you." Dandy flashed a charming smile. "You know my life style, and you don’t judge me. Perhaps for once, it would be nice to trust someone who wouldn’t judge you Let me internship?” Dandy proposed. "I could learn a lot. My charming looks alone can bring you new material.”

#wtdandy #{ ▌✗; v: we are the nobodies. } #{ ▌✗; patient: You should've raised a baby girl; I should've been a better son! }

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{ ƬӨЦЯПIQЦΣƬ!! } ❝—D u t y. What do you think about that? Maybe I should ask: how does that make you feel?❞

▌✗ Interest piqued, Thredson tilted his head at a crooked, little angle. He could pretend to be the good doctor, moved by the progress and well-being of his patients, but it was a lie. Behind closed doors, his ethics were horribly skewed.

Smiling thinly, he set down the clipboard with a solid click. Next came the pen, golden fountain tip glistening beneath the fluorescent lights up above. With a gallant flick of his wrist, the back of his hand grazed that papers adorned by elegant script.

❝Dr. Oliver Thredson. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Crane. I’ll admit that my presence here at Briarcliff is temporary.❞

                                ❝Yes, well… 

             …you are only doing your duty, afterall.❞

                                ❝&& it would be rather helpful if you would pardon                                            me from this decrepit hell-hole so I may                                                     continue with my own.❞

True, he did miss the days under General Washington’s regulation…&& being at Katrina’s side, of course.

But he suspected the doctor’s words meant something…

                             …ɗιffєяєηт,                         or were nothing more than ｃｕｎｎｉｎｇ  ｗｏｒｄｐｌａｙ                                           designed to get more useless information out of him.

                  ❝Even after all the frivolities, I still          haven’t gotten your name. To whom do I owe                         the pleasure, Doctor…?❞

#carabiiniere #{ ▌✗ ; v: we all have a face that we hide away forever. } #{ ▌✗; patient: So we keep them at home; the secrets and bones. }

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xpunish:

"I failed her at a time she needed me the most. The visits, the gifts, the everything        It wasn’t enough. I feel like there was so much I could’ve done. So much I shouldn’t have done. It just…”             Fingertips rub at his wet, burning eyelids.             This feels like one of his reoccurring nightmares             albeit a tame one, it unleashes horrible memories,             ones he isn’t soon to forget, but those he wishes             to be dealt a temporary reprieve from.                                     KILLERS DESERVE NO REPRIEVE.                                     biting and lashing, a conflicting voice from within. "… It does things to you. I feel as if I’m beyond atonement. Nothing I do or say will bring her back. I know that.. But then, what more is there worth living for? Neither of us have an answer that to question, and maybe there is none.”             James isn’t any wiser of the man opposite himself.             Not at all. It’s so routine, and a familiar routine at that.             His father was against therapy, viewing it as an             admission of weakness. James is a pitiful display. "Hospitalization would only delay the inevitable. The only way I can stop this nightmare is to stop myself. I don’t know if there is any way you could understand what I’m going through.                          What I’ve seen. What I’ve done.”

They say that the highest form of killing is driven by love, but Oliver finds this declaration to be quite selfish. To kill what you loves means to preserve the memory for yourself and yourself alone, unable to share the deep, dark secret with anyone else — but it’s a burden he knows best of all.

{ ƬӨЦЯПIQЦΣƬ!! } ❝—Your way of thinking is normal, Mr. Sunderland. We often dwell on the regrets when we have nothing left to hold onto.❞

Atonement, salvation: these were things Oliver steered clear from. Only a priest could provide the heavy heart some solace. Or so it goes.

❝Living the nightmare means keeping Mary alive. That sounds awfully selfish of you.❞

His tongue traces the dips and ridges of his teeth. He thinks about how easy it is to make another bleed.

❝We wouldn’t be human, if we weren’t selfish. Did you love her?❞

#{{ No problem! }} #xpunish #{ ▌✗; suicide mention. } #{ ▌✗ ; v: we all have a face that we hide away forever. } #{ ▌✗; patient: I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes; I have to turn my head until my darkness goes. } #{{ i typed your url as xpuns at first way 2 early for me to function }}

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[ xjaina ]

                     “But I’m telling you,                              I am ｆｉｎｅ !”

                                  “Don’t talk about progress with me,                                     I’m not like them.”

            her voice cяαcкѕ as she elongates the             very last syllable.

                 & she realizes just how hysterical she sounds…

            { ƬӨЦЯПIQЦΣƬ!! } ❝—Lying to yourself,             Miss Hudson, is not healthy. In fact, I             find it to be rather damaging. You insist             you’re no different, but you develop a similar             argument.❞

                  ▌✗ With a face resembling a blank slate,                   he had no pity to offer her. The typical,                   benign banter was exhausting and not                   to mention: d e g e n e r a t i v e.

#xjaina #{ ▌✗ ; v: we all have a face that we hide away forever. } #{ ▌✗; patient: I'm inspired to find the liar. }

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It was as though he could smell her grief, her sorrow, the conflicted look stricken her down to the core. He would have taken sadistic satisfaction in that and in fact, he did. His black, little soul smiled.

❝Fear of marriage is common in women, I assure you. It can be attributed to a loss of freedom. Settling down means that you’re unable to explore, tethered down by societal expectations and restrictions.❞

More common was hysteria, noted by the infamous Sigmund Freud. A psychiatrist’s dream diagnosis.

❝We tend to repress the morbid, hoping for a brighter future. Optimism is healthy. A bit like a band-aid. Just be careful not to peel it off too quickly. You might not like what you find.❞

A subtle caution.

❝I’m sorry for your loss. It’s catastrophic to lose a mother so young. A part of the child’s identity is lost and so, the father is pursued.❞

Meg was hesitant to answer, given how talking about the dramatic shift made her a bit upset.

❝The second I was out of high school, he wanted me to get married. I refused  and told him I wanted to get post-secondary education. I always wanted to be a teacher. He didn’t take my alternative plans very well…❞

Again, she smiled, shrugging a bit.

❝It’s just embarrassing that I can’t remember more. I don’t recall it being so morbid.❞

She shook her head, wondering if all doctors were so nosey. However, he was not unpleasant and Meg had a feeling he wouldn’t pressure her to answer if she refused. That put her at ease enough to resurrect the memories of her mother.

❝She died when I was very young. It was only me and my father for a long time. Maybe even too long.❞

#quitelikedyou #{ ▌✗ ; v: we all have a face that we hide away forever. } #{ ▌✗; patient: If I don't tell a soul then who else shouldn't mind? }

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     Had Oliver been normal, Mordrake’s tale would have tugged at his heartstrings. He didn’t feel a thing. All he could afford to do was play a wicked game of pretend. Perhaps he should have been an actor, but oh — he didn’t care for the fame or the spotlights. Much too blinding and insincere. At least, here in Briarcliff, he was forced to be swayed by compassion.

     So, a troubled look flitted clear across his face. Sculpted brows knitted together and his thin lips wavered. He chose his next words carefully, accompanied by a small, breathy sigh.

     ❝Edward, I am merely acting for what I believe in. You don’t deserve to be persecuted for your ailment.❞

     Dr. Oliver Thredson was a man who didn’t believe in devils. That was standard myth. He long since abstained from religion. It never settled well with him  — like a stone in his gut.

     ❝Perhaps, Mr. Mordrake, you not only wanted to claim its life, but yours as well. It could very well be a manifestation of your guilty conscience.❞

"Thank you, Doctor.” The words were soft, even as his hands twisted together with anxiety. “You are the first one who ever treated me like a normal person, you know. Not like a hopeless case or a monster. I think… I think you’re the one who can help me.”

Thinking on the theory, he glanced away. “It is awful. There is only one voice, the voice of this wretched demon I share my body with. Sorry,” he raised a hand to interrupt himself. “I do not believe I am possessed with a devil. I do not believe in any of those things. It just… is the name I’ve given it in frustration. Anyways, it is the only voice I hear. It whispers to me. I think it worse than if it raised its voice, but it simply whispers. It whispers the most horrible, frightening and hellish things.”

A pause.

"I tried to kill it, thrice. And when that didn’t work, I tried to kill myself too. That is how I ended up here.”

#mxrdrake #{ ▌✗ ; v: we all have a face that we hide away forever. } #{ ▌✗; patient: Somehow I'm still here to explain that the darkest hour never comes in the night. } #{ ▌✗; suicide mention. }

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{ Poor Atlas! }:

"No. I wouldn’t want her to see this place - and, who are you kidding, doc? They wouldn’t let family visit. The Sisters aren’t that kind.” Maybe one or two, occasionally, felt some pangs of sympathy for the patients but it was rare. As rare as someone believing his story. There it was again, that voice in the back of your head. It’s all your fault, Chris. Maybe you did do it, maybe it’s all in your head. Why else would your story be so unbelievable? Stern gaze turns towards him, thick brows furrowed in frustration. “Why would you help me if you don’ t believe me?” Suspicious. Fist collides with the wall, a shiver down his spine, can feel the bruising under his skin.  Now, now, Christopher. Another demon he’d forgotten about. Red. It’s always red. "Don’t call me that."

{ ƬӨЦЯПIQЦΣƬ!! } ❝—Very well, Mr. Redfield. It’s your choice. Regardless of what one might think, you’re not deprived of free will. Personal autonomy remains forever yours.❞

▌✗ A pity. He liked how Christopher rolled off the tip of his tongue, acidic and venomous. Like administering an improper dosage, watching the patient writhe in pain (a ‘mother’ about to be skinned, feeling no pain while muscle and tissue is forcibly exposed).

❝… I understand. I’ve had many spats with Sister Jude. She’s hardly the portrait of generosity.❞

He scoffed, his displeasure exposed and bubbling up to the surface.

❝Why? It’s simple: Because you’re my patient. Your best interest is my own. I’m interested in your progress and recovery. I am not here to drag you down.❞

#ssamuraiedge #{ ▌✗ ; v: we all have a face that we hide away forever. } #{ ▌✗; patient: I drag you down; I use you up - Mr. Self-Destruct! }

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     She was clever and perceptive, both of which made for a dangerous combination. If he wasn’t careful, she could unravel him and what a tragic ploy that would be.

     Oliver hummed, his lashes dragging down and his lids drooping either from a natural sleepiness or genuine boredom. Arguably, his decay began at a young, impressionable age as a lost, little boy in an orphanage.

     It wasn’t the demons one should fear, but monsters in the skin of man.

    ❝I did.❞

     Oozing with self-confidence, he managed a boyish smile — one corner of his mouth peeling upright, ghostly and mocking.

     ❝I took a look at your public file. It spoke to me. I come here on my own free will. I act out of genuine good. Believe me when I say it.❞

     His lies were so cunning that he almost believed them.

A bitter laugh croaked from the young woman’s throat, raw and sickly sounding, with none of the mirth or joy that should have come carried with it.

"Believe me, doctor, I know all too well about d e c a y.”

He was playing at some kind of game, yes — she didn’t need the whispers in the back of her mind to tell her that. It was evident enough in the way his forehead creased, his eyes glimmered, his nostrils flared as he breathed.

And here it was not a question of winning; the disenfranchised and the weak never stood a chance against those with power.

No, she would not win this fight.

The only question was how long she would survive.

"And whoever said you could help me at all…?"

#mydearmissives #{ ▌✗ ; v: we all have a face that we hide away forever. } #{ ▌✗; patient: I'm not the kind of sick that you can fix. } #{{ ur supposed 2 be the mother of all things evil why can't u be my mom }}

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ofpossession:

          ” Oh I am quite civilized. But why lies             in store for Ms. Lana Banana—-now              that’s truly barbaric. Not rational, very             irrational, poor Lana. I’m sure you’ll                 enjoy it more than she will. “ 

              { ƬӨЦЯПIQЦΣƬ!! } ❝—Your judgment helps               me little, Sister. I am doing everything within               my power to help her. Are you attempting to               thwart my plans?❞

#ofpossession #{ ▌✗ ; v: we all have a face that we hide away forever. }

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Deftones | You’ve Seen the Butcher 

#{ ▌✗; Twisted Nerve. }

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#{{ I will get to replies this week! }} #{{ My activity's been blotchy lately so I'll fix that. }} #{{ I've got papers to write this week. OTL }} #{{ That being said - best bet for replies is Friday. }} #{{ Thanks for being patient with me. ;v; }} #{ ▌✗; outofskin. } #{ ▌✗; tbd. }

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You are a fever, you are a fever -- you ain't born typical.

#{ ▌✗; Twisted Nerve. }