just keep swimming, just keep swimming.
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letting you go was the easiest thing to do, but took so fucking long.
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you just gotta get past it. you just gotta laugh at it.
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i wasted my youth being suicidal.
i wasted my youth self harming and hating my body.
i wasted my youth drowning in self pity and shame.
i wasted my youth in isolation.
i wasted my youth sitting in silence and waiting for people who never loved me to call.
i wasted my youth in so many ways.
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to see you say "I had sex with you because you wanted it." disturbed me.
i did not want it. it was never worth the shame that came when you would leave.
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giving up robs you of your chance to get better.
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i faked it every time, but that's alright. i can hardly feel anything, i hardly feel anything at all.
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