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Journey to Ego Death
My ego was flying so high, I knew I had to go to a plant to ask for help before I burn down the whole world, so the plant could kill me first, to be reborn as nothingness that I am. That's what all this about that I know nothing.
The plant asked me again, standing tall with its wisdom, yet full of love, "Child, what do you know about the world?. This time I surrendered and accepted that I knew nothing, so it could teach me again to be nothing.
In return I gave the plant a chance to experience what it is to be a vulnerable human being, while letting it show me what it is like to be a plant, the wisdom we hold together.
Now I want to love, I want to be love,I want everything to feel like love. I want to eat love, drink love, because why not?
I looked at my body again. Oh how wonderfully I have decorated this animal, how wonderful it is to stand still and yet walk, how wonderful it is to feel the earth with every step again, reminding that we are one.
So I let the plant kill me over and over till my ego disappear, just to feel that we are one.
I asked myself again to repeat, " what you were saying before? that you were better than everyone? This time I resisted.
I answered, " Yes, I am better than everyone, because I was the one to feel it, feel the pain, if anyone was brave enough to feel it before me, I wouldn't have to go through this at all. Yes, I am better than everyone, because I paused my whole world and made myself feel it. I was braver than any of you. So why not fly high looking down on everyone?"
Plant answered this time, " So what my child? How come that makes you better than everyone else. How come you are better than that beggar on road, how come you are better than that frog on the pond, we all are just living. We never asked you to be brave, to feel, we never asked. You did it. You did it for yourself. What do you expect from everyone else to do other than to give a big applause for the show you put on and move on? Why shouldn't they live their lives just because you decided to wake up?
What do you expect from everyone else my child, is it to tell you that you are better than them, to worship you because you were brave? Oh my dear child what does that even mean?
Everyone else also just living. Why do you want to stop them from doing that my child? Why do you want to be the one that makes them stop living, because if not what else they can do my child? Isn't death too much to ask? Why does everyone else have to pay because you decided to wake up?
Look around how much Love you have my child. It is everyone's best. It is the best they know. What do you expect everyone else to do now just because you decided to wake up?
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Sweet Creature, My Mind
The most popular debate is if the mind and the brain the same? However, my imagination has run so far to wonder if the mind and the soul the same. I have come up with the simplest answer that the mind is the physical manifestation of the soul, hence the most powerful manifestation in this dimension. I have come to understand that however powerful the mind is, it still possesses some limitations. Mind sometimes constantly creates thoughts, uncontrollable to us which can create stress, depression whatever the illness you can come up with. Does the mind try to harm us by creating these thoughts or does it try to alarm us with a similar incident we have experienced before and provide the same thought we used to experience. I believe, the mind does it with pure love, sometimes hoping it would save us, however irrelevant it is for the scenario happening now. So I understood mind can do one thing right, that is to live in the current moment. I have heard the saying that enlightenment is living in the present moment. Well, that’s all the mind can understand, what is happening in now. So it provides us with the greatest pleasure when we can bring our mind to focus the moment right now. However I have understood that the mind can analyze all the data it has collected from our birth and has the capacity to relate it to whatever we are focusing on. It made me question, do we need to tame our mind or let it run wild?
If I let my mind run wild, will it get tired ultimately or will it drive me crazy? If I tame my mind, will it someday blast and make me crazy? I do not know how you would answer. But I know when to let it run wild and when to tame it. So I wonder where this knowledge comes from? Then I understood, that is my soul, the all knowing that generates knowingness within myself. It is hard for my mind to comprehend this self belief without single doubt. But I have shown that it is okay to believe in things that it can not understand.
Hey you, who believes in something greater than life... May you be inspired, May you create your own path to your own bliss.
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Oh My Dear Stressed Self
Sometimes I can’t believe the stress to this level can exist. This excruciating darkness and endless thoughts… Can a human even bear this? Then I remember I never wanted a normal life with average emotions… What have I done?
I aspire to always seek what the extreme is supposed to be. I live on the high ends of strength and numbness. What is a life that never lived fearlessly with the burden of fear itself knocking on your door. The path was already made. Even the blind could see it. However, I do not wish to follow the path. My wish is to create a new path which hasn’t been walked before, that starts to nurture with the first of my steps, taken to a destination that ends with my death. It started to haunt me once, the possibility of me or my higher soul, God, not knowing what the end is like, till I understood that I am the one who is creating it, a new path which hasn't been walked before. TIll I create it, it ceases to exist, but a mere creation that seeks every possible opportunity to be seen and I get to be the one to explore it. What a marvelous creation I am, of the creator, that I am creating.
Sometimes I feel as a strange creature who lives a magic which splashes through life, runs through my veins, unknown to any of them who can not see. I have loved a million souls who can not see, desperately holding their eyelids to their foreheads, ever begging to be released. Then, I do, letting them live a life that they meant to be. I do not seek to change any of them but merely present myself in them till we go in separate ways ultimately to be united yet again as one source.
I feel lost most of the time, not knowing what the future holds for me. I take pride in knowing that I was brave enough to choose myself, let go of what doesn’t belong to me which makes me feel empty for a while, with the space left, previously filled with what I have held so dear. It is lonely in fact, to let go, darkness of it makes me feel lost ... .till I find myself again.
With that my sweet stress calmed down, till the next opportunity arrives…
Till we talk again…
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Earth- The Playground
Welcome to earth playground, where time linear and you don't remember anything and memories play around in your head like you are an automated machine. It is amazing for me that I do not remember anything before I was born and also I do not remember what it was like when I was born. Isn't it confusing that first few years build up your whole patterns of life, yet you do not remember early childhood.
I'm here wondering does it actually matter. Well what matters is right now. Right now I have the ability to create a whole new life. Life is always right now. May be that's the only thing the mind can understand or that is how far capacity of the mind goes.
I'm in a constant battle between the need to unveil the secrets of the universe with my limited mind of course and just live without giving a damn. Because just living is so fulfilling, blissful. May be that is the whole purpose of my life.
To feel everything with an open heart and choose what I want in my life and living in the moment of right now. It is poetic and I love it. But the truth is I always seek ways to expand. Then it is unstoppable for me to attract contrasts. Then I forget that this is yet another playground. I weep, sometimes I decide I should die. Then come back to the realization again this is just another game.
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Free Will - A Choice to be made?
Can life be sequence of unintentional accidents? Is it the way we suppose to live? Is it that what we came here to experience? You're a puppet controlled by all your trauma, playing victim for every failure you ever faced.
You can sleep through your whole life and can safely arrive at death. Or you can decide to wake up.
There's no doubt of the free will. Then again you have free will weather to use free will or live as a prisoner of your own thoughts.
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Future - The Fairy Tale
Tell me exactly you want and I will give it to you. That's the promise I give myself. Not knowing how I will achieve it, all I have to do is to give up, the control I want to have over the future, the control I want to have over my actions. I input thoughts to the future, waiting for the miracle. Is the miracle real or am I dumbing down myself? What do I know? The more I learn,the more I know that I actually have no idea about the universe. But like a sparkle in the darkness, it tells me that it got me. I am who I am and that is enough to have everything that I ever wanted. So let me wait till the miracles occur to get exactly what I asked for....
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20-10-2023 (Choices)
Choices are interesting. But how do you know you have choices. Well it starts with unknown. It can be past connecting to present or future connecting to present. If you absolutely know what you are doing, you wouldn't need choices. Unknown is scary, isn't it? But we do not want to live as scary little humans. So we make choices.
But how do you make a choice? Is it the most likable option. Haven't we gone in that path? It's a process you cut out all the options and you choose one. You take time to analyze the probability of your choice succeeding in your reality. We often forget to make peace with the sacrifices we need to make in order to walk in the path of our choice. Doesn't that make you doubt every decision you ever made?
Sacrifices! That is the main ingredient. You should know exactly what you are sacrificing, the other choices you sacrificed to be sure of one, what you will sacrifice in order to live your choice. You have to be okay with that. Is being just okay enough? You have to agree with exactly what you are letting go in order to succeed your choice.
I'll tell you why. So when the demons are coming back to bite you in the face for the choices you made. you can stand up, not because you have to, but because you knew exactly that it was coming.
But if you don't know what you're doing, what God damn choice you have???
With Love,
Vinavi Pieris
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12-10-2023 (Men)
I'm thinking about Men today. I can not wrap my head around the fact that men created this world for men and yet it is extremely hard for a man to be successful.
What is a successful man? A man who is well disciplined, continuously learning specially from his own mistakes and provide contentment for the environment he is living... I can list out many things, but a man who has a legacy and a way to continue his legacy is the successful man. Let's keep aside how can you create a legacy that is worthwhile to be continued and focus about how the legacy is continued.
Well it's simple. You need to have off-spring. What gives you the idea that your off-springs would not mess it up. So you need to make sure your off-springs are healthy and capable. How can you have off-springs that are healthy and capable. Keeping aside exceptions, you need two parents. Is two parents enough?
Well you need good parents, so you need a good mother. So how do you find a good mother? Well you need to find a good woman as your partner. Who is a good woman? That is debatable but on the ground level a healed and healing woman who is feminine enough to let you lead and still nurture you and also have a vision for herself. You might think why a vision? If you don't have a vision, what's next? You just let life happen to you. Is it a good way to live? Good woman should be capable of making life happens for her. So you have the possibility of creating off-springs that would one day would have healthy and capable off-springs.
There you go.. your legacy... Well what's the other option for you if you are a man? Well you are done. You're born and you are dead... That's a game you created... May be that was the only thing that succeeded in order to continue the humanity. Well may you bear it happily and ever after...
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11-10-2023 ( Free Will)
Today I'm thinking about free will. Do we actually have free will or everything is predetermined. The problem is if everything is predetermined what is the point of being born. Then if everything is not predetermined how God could be all knowing. Is it possible that even God has no idea what is going to happen? Well the fact that time doesn't exist outside of this dimension makes God to see what has happened, what is happening and what will happen at the same time. Can free will be, at the same time an illusion and also real? Does whatever you do lead to the path which was already determined? In that regard, yes it doesn't matter which path you took with your free will you will be dead and we can agree with the fact that death can be predetermined. If it is decided when to be born, it can be decided when to be dead. Earth the land of free will, yes we can leave space that you can come here with predetermined purpose and the exact way you are going to achieve it. But the fact that we do not remember any of it when you come to earth leave you endless possibilities that something can happen. There you go the free will. You have the free will to do anything you want which may will not come to you without any cost. How can you change anything if you are unconscious of that thing you want to change. You can go on your life according to whatever was programmed during your life experience or you can stand up and say this is not what I want. Well there you go, your free will. The moment you create something out of the programming you create something new which can lead to something new and so on. The creation of something new leads to endless possibilities which are also new. So who knows for sure what the end is? That is scary, isn't it? But would you rather take the challenge or live as a slave to your own programming? I would take the freedom at any cost. Well the cost could be the unknown possibilities, chaos and nothing in order. So what I will die anyway !!
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10-10-2023 ( Thoughts)
Thoughts.. That's interesting to think about. Are all thoughts mine or is it produced automatically? If it is automatic process, do I need to take responsibility of it? I believe thoughts are produced by and entity which was programmed in first few years of our life. When a familiar Circumstances are raised familiar feelings are produced. But are we still kids ? Isn't it a good to be a kid ? You are curious, experimental and question everything. So why aren't we questioning our thoughts , why are we no more curious ? Did we kill the kid or put him in a box and closed it down.
Either way automatic is not good unless you are a machine. Well you are, but also we are more than that. So we better act like we are more than a machine, a thoughts creating entity.
But how can we get rid of something that built in us. Thoughts.... is it trying to help us or destroy us ? Then again why something built in us trying to act against us ? I would not do anything to harm myself at least not consciously. Huh.... consciously...
Thoughts are trying to save us from an environment which we have outgrown. But what does it need by constantly bickering in our head ? Well maybe for us to acknowledge it ????
Doesn't that feel good to be accepted or to be loved unconditionally without taking into consideration what we are doing. Oh that's perfect. So is it kind controlling in a way ? I hope not... Try to control one thought... Oh wouldn't that give you thousand more things to think about. The pure silence of mind will come the moment you accept it. Wouldn't crying child stop the crying as soon as we acknowledge the cry. Isn't that easy? It's totally like taking care of a child. Let it Bloom, let it flourish till it becomes Blissful that has no more need to be fearful.... no more bickering... peace
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