vouam

[vouam]

One of the things that makes arguing with men so much more draining than arguing with women is the unequal distribution of credibility and contribution.

Somehow, whenever I argue with men, it always falls upon me to both prove my own claims, and to disprove his, while he does neither; his only obligation seemingly to dole out whatever ungrounded assertions he conjures up on the spot. Somehow, it is always wordlessly established that anything I say is false until proven true, while anything he says is true until proven false.

This same dynamic happened again over on tiktok, when a man claimed women are just as violent as men. Automatically, almost as if by muscle memory, I offered up the usual statistics on male depravity: men constituting 99% of rapists, 99% of mass shooters, 98% of killers, 95% of serious domestic abusers. And his only response was to say those statistics were wrong. No elaboration; wrong simply because he said so.

I already knew how the entire conversation would pan out: I’d give him my source, he’d find a reason to discredit the source, then I’d scour the internet to find a source that suited his standards, which he’d inevitably find a reason to discredit too.

So instead I simply said, “Prove the statistics are wrong.” And that was the only thing I responded with henceforth: prove it, prove I’m wrong, prove you’re right. Thus reversing the dynamics and positing that anything I said was true unless he demonstrated otherwise; unduly putting all the onus on him while I did nothing other than decide whether he was convincing me of claims thoroughly enough—and if he wasn’t, it just meant I was winning, of course.

He blocked me, and so far so have all the other men I’ve used this approach on. I don’t know whether it’s because they couldn’t actually disprove my claims or because they couldn’t stand to be treated the same way they treat women in debates. But I think more women should do this. Stop wasting energy proving your points to men, and start making them prove theirs to you.

[vouam]

Recognizing female human beings get oppressed for our sex isn't "being obcessed with genitals" it's just the literal conclusion of not being in blatant denial of reality

[vouam]

using the phrase "what if it was your mother or sister!" as an attempt to reason with a misogynistic man does not work because their mothers and sisters are usually the first victims of their misogyny.

[vouam]

Its not a normal female experience to hate being seen as a girl by society this much, and to feel so trapped living as a woman. It's also not normal to hate men and trans people this much, do you think perhaps such hatred could come from jealousy? I feel like you might be a lot happier if you transitioned. Imagine dressing in men's clothing, and being called a guy by your freinds, imagine people who are attracted to men finding you handsome, imagine people complimenting you as you slowly look more and more like a cute boy. I feel like you'd be a happy boy, you'd be a sweet boy, you'd be a handsome boy...

This has to be trolling 😭😭😭

[vouam]

‘he/him’ of course you’ll be pissed off at a form of feminism that doesn’t cater to you for once

Woman is when uncomfy jeans

Man is when comfy jeans

[vouam]

Yes! I live in the UK where basketball isn’t that popular but a similar example is Christiano Ronaldo. There’s hard evidence he payed off the victim.

It is your duty to crack a young man's inner peace by talking about the rape case against Kobe Bryant. They always go very very quiet when they hear that the case was dropped because the 19-year-old victim was stalked by Bryant's fans. She relocated in secret several times, and each time, they found her new address, hurling relentless, graphic, torturous harm and death threats at her along the way. Anyone who harbors any respect for him deserves to feel that guilt and shame.

[vouam]

why are You against circumcision?

Because it’s not scientifically proven to have any benefit. If u want it done as an adult then you do you but most of the time it’s done on babies or kids and that’s weird and they obviously can’t consent

[vouam]

asking in good faith, and because this is becoming increasingly hard to google, but what's the source for the claim that gender was invented by men to oppress women? certainly it's used by men to oppress women, but this claim would go back millenia, right? if i had a source to point to, i'd be able to use it in arguments.

I guess ‘invented’ was a poor word choice by me if we’re being literal. Because socialised gender or gender roles have existed in ancient civilisations and were all different. For example, some civilisations had third/fourth genders, or were not the typical gender roles that we associate men and women with today.

I was more so referring to the invention of the modern day gender roles. The stereotypical women are weak and nurturing, should stay at home, modesty, not leaders etc… This was clearly a stereotype pushed by men in order to have wives as sex slaves that had no rights to leave them, and to keep them out of the workplace, and have males as the ruling sex class. They pushed the idea that biological sex had psychological/social attributes and this is why women should behave this way and conform.

I don’t have a source for this claim I’m about to make, but I strongly believe that a lot of the modern day gender roles were popularised by Christianity, Judaism and Islam. A lot of people to this day cite these religious texts as to why they believe men and women are socially different. And me being an atheist, I believe these religious texts were written by men. Although these texts were reflective of gender roles at the time, I believe this is why that version of gender roles ‘took off’ and became the standard compared to previous civilisations interpretations of socialised gender.

This is such a ramble sorry I hope this made some sense!

[vouam]

Woman is when uncomfy jeans

Man is when comfy jeans

#u want comfort? omg this is so transmasc coded #literally what #radblr #radical feminism #radical feminist safe #radical feminists do interact #gender critical #radical feminist community #gender abolition #terfsafe #terfblr

[vouam]

do you have any radfem book or article recs?

Anything by Andrea Dworkin or Catharine MacKinnon!! Don’t have any specific recs tbh bc I can never remember what I’ve actually read

[vouam]

Are women allowed to have any standards when it comes to dating men?

If a woman wants a man who is conventionally attractive, tall or athletic, she is shallow.

If a woman wants a man who earns good money or at least has some financial stability/gainful employment, a career or good career prospects, she is a gold-digger.

If a woman wants a man who is educated, cultivated or takes an active interest in the world around him one way or another, she is a snob.

If a woman wants a man who is not a complete porn-addict with a severe case of terminal misogyny, she is a stuck-up bitch.

If a woman wants a man who is kind, considerate and actually cares about her, she pussy-whips her boyfriend or husband.

If a women wants a man who shares values, interests or life-style choices that are important to her, she is mean and exclusionary, because why wouldn't she give men a chance she is clearly not compatible with?

Seriously, what are women allowed to look for in a male partner? Oh, wait, I know! She is supposed to want a man who is funny and makes her laugh. That is a demand no man feels threatened by, because they all think they are comedy gold.

[vouam]

just found this guy’s answer to a question on quora (“is misandry a problem in the US?” or something of that nature) and was wondering what your reaction to it would be. there are some points i wouldn’t be sure how to refute, though it’s certainly not enough to change my radfem beliefs lol. i’ll copy and paste it since i can’t send ss in anon

Q:“is misandry prevalent in today’s society?”

A:“I would say so.

Woman: doesn't want a child so she secretly aborts it.

Man: doesn't want a child and is forced to pay child support for 18 years while being ridiculed as a dead beat dad

Woman: my body, my choice

Man: has his genitals forcibly mutilated for no good reason at birth

Woman: free drinks at the club on ladies night

Man: there is no men's night. Drink prices increase to cover all the free drinks ladies get

Woman: oh please keep yourself safe

Man: forced to sign up for selective services (a.k.a. draft) at 18.

Woman: complains about low paying job

Men: 67% of work place injuries happen to men, 93% of work place fatalities happen to men. No one bats an eye

Woman: mostly automatically given custody of children no matter what

Men: you can see your children on the weekend only and pay for child support

Man: simply accused of abusing a woman and goes straight to jail.

Woman: beats the man senseless and if the man defends himself goes to jail. If he doesn't defend himself he still might go to jail or if he is lucky police will tell him to quit making a big deal about it. Has 1 place in the country to go to for sheltering battered men despite the fact that women are the perpetrators of domestic violence some 40% of the time. Woman, have countless battered women shelters to go to.

Man: gets raped by woman at gun point being forced to give oral sex and held captive for days. Society has a good laugh

Woman: gets raped and her perpetrator is rightfully punished. No one is laughing about it. Woman gets psychological help and all kinds of assistance from society. Also if she makes false accusations of rape, ruining a man's life, no one says a thing about it and she is free to go on accusing.

Men: penalties for the same crime as women are much longer sentences.

Men: comprise 60 some % of homeless population

Men: comprise of a majority of suicides

I could go on but it's only going to anger the feminazis more and more”

reading crap like this makes me so mad tbh, like i understand moids don’t have easy lives just because they’re moids but GOOD FUCKING GRIEF it’s like they just can’t fucking get enough of acting like society wasn’t built by men for men. 🙏🙏 sorry it just gets me upset. anyway love ur blog!!

Oooof this is a really great ask so thank you for sending this in! I guess I’ll approach this by answering each one individually (although I might repeat myself)

Men pay child support while women can just have an abotion

This is a very strange argument. Because firstly not every country has fully legal abortions. 47 countries only allow it for health reasons, 43 to save the mother’s life and 22 it is fully illegal. A lot of men like this seem to forget that there are other countries on this planet. I’d personally rather be the gender that has to pay child support for an unwanted baby. Even in the case of legal abortions, abortions are not easy to go through. It is mentally very difficult and can be an invasive procedure. Women are shamed for having abortions in every country, even the most ‘accepting’ places.

Circumcision

I am very against circumcision and this was probably his most valid point(?) But his point excludes the fact that FGM is practiced in many countries and cultures. And while male circumcision is usually done for religious reasons claiming its ‘hygienic’ and has little to no bad side effects while FGM can kill women and girls, and is done for far more malicious reasons that I can’t even begin to describe.

Men’s drinks night

Does he know the implications of what ‘buying a woman a drink’ means?? Yeah, I’d much rather be a man in this situation 😭

Drafted at 18

I am against anyone being drafted, and I’m against any military work period. But men made this rule because they deem men to be brave and strong - a stereotype designed to benefit them.

Work place injuries and fatalities

Most injuries and fatalities happen with manual labour, construction/factory work etc. Same stereotype as listed in the point before this.

Custody over children

Again, this happens due to a stereotype that benefits men. Women are ‘better parents/nurturing’ while men are not and should go out there and work and achieve their goals while women stay at home. Literally designed to benefit men. Also, a lot of men view the custody struggle as a privilege because they cannot be bothered to be fathers.

Going to prison because of a simple accusation and less abuse shelters for men

This is the craziest point because men do not go to prison over some random accusation pulled out from thin air. In order to accuse someone of abuse, you need extensive indisputable evidence. Even then, the police will not take it seriously or the defence will win the case for whatever reason. These are the hardest crimes to prove in a court and the statistics show this. Less abuse shelters for men because they are far FAR less likely to be a victim. Yes, its’s sad but this literally proves misogyny is a thing rather than misandry - because I know damn well which sex I’d rather be in this instance.

People laugh at male rape victims and women are given full support/legal justice

I addressed this in the previous point. Women are ridiculed and not believed/not given justice at an extremely higher rate than men.

Longer male prison sentences

Same stereotype that I’ve said before about being stronger/braver vs weak/nurturing. The stereotype was made to benefit them. Also this ignores that a lot of the time there are other aspects to a crime that result in a higher sentence given. For example 1st degree murder done for financial motive vs sexual motive.

Larger male homeless population and male suicide rate

I guess this is more of a question of why men are more likely to be homeless or commit suicide. Make suicide rate studies suggest it’s harder for men to admit mental health struggles/reach out for help. Again, it’s sad but the strong brave stereotype was designed to benefit them, like I’ve said before. Permanent homelessness is largely due to addiction, mental health, childhood poverty, financial crisis, loss of relationships to family/partner. These can all happen to women, except a lot of the female homeless population are trafficked, resort to prostitution, enter abusive relationships to escape the streets. In a lot of countries, people seem to think its 99% men that are homeless, but its usually not. You just typically only see male homeless people sitting/sleeping on the street in public spaces - that’s a more terrifying place for a woman to be compared to a man.

—

I guess this guy’s main problems is that he:

- Thinks USA/Europe/western countries are the only places that exist

- Can’t see that bad things that happen to men are actually a result of stereotypes designed to benefit the male population

- Makes up statistics in his head that aren’t true

- Has a crazy victim complex

- Can’t see that the women’s position in his scenario is actually worse

I hope this helps with any future debates and refutes! And I hope I explained myself well enough 😭

#radblr #radical feminism #misogyny #misandry

[vouam]

listen. if you say that identifying as not a woman is what helped you feel allowed to look gnc, you're saying that womanhood is a cage and womanhood is incompatible with what conservatives view as "unwomanly" aka a long fucking list of normal human behaviors like not shaving, having short hair, liking typically male hobbies or jobs, being confident, having crude humor, wearing comfortable clothes & shoewear, not wearing makeup, and just generally not acting perfect or looking like a doll. are these manly things to you? ungirly things? things that womanhood is fundamentally incompatible with, so a good reason to identify as transmasc? do they make you feel as less of a woman? that's sexist af. same goes with the reverse for transfemmes. you can identify as whatever you want, but stop saying misogynistic sexist reasons that reaffirm gender roles. it really sucks to hear as a butch woman who is just as womanly as any fem girl. identify as nonbinary etc bc it makes you happy and you feel a disconnect. sure. but don't spew sexist reasons for doing so. you're making things harder for those of us who are trying to expand the meaning of womanhood after centuries of women not being allowed to be human in peace. be a good ally to women ffs

[vouam]

I just saw somebody say “calling a trans woman a misogynist is a terf dogwhistle” regarding Dylan Mulvaney’s awful song.

So we aren’t even allowed to call out misogyny when we see it because some men are above criticism.

[vouam]

They say I’m a child

They say I’m a child but they say I’m a Bride

They say I’m a child but shouldn’t go near strangers

They say I’m a child but I hold one’s hand

They say I’m a child but I marry one four times my age

They say I’m a child but they say I’m a Newlywed

They say I’m a child but I don’t go to school

They say I’m a child but instead, I stay home

They say I’m a child but I know chores aren’t education

They say I’m a child but he says I’m a Wife

They say I’m a child but the load I lift is heavier than I

They say I’m a child but my hands only bleed

They say I’m a child but I only labour

They say I’m a child but they say I’m Pregnant

They say I’m a child but I know only sickness

They say I’m a child but now I’m too weak to scream

They say I’m a child but I’m Agonised

They say I’m a child but I’m a Mother.

They say I’m a child but my thighs have lines

They say I’m a child but my belly is slack

They say I’m a child but I relentlessly tend to my own

I say I’m a child but they don’t hear.

[vouam]

i think its a stretch to say that trans people are all influenced to get whatever surgeries they might get. Like, if you look at Klinefelter males they have an increased rate of gender dysphoria, so there is almost certainly some sort of biological process that causes gender dysphoria that wouldn't be erased in a post gender/gender abolitionist world.

You have to understand that the gender affirmation surgery industry and the cosmetic surgery industry are the same thing - and so any argument I have against cosmetic surgery also applies to gender affirming procedures.

Any one who gets non-health related surgery to change their appearance is under influence from society. It’s an irrational choice that would not be desired if someone lived in a vacuum. But ofc we don’t live in a vacuum. People compare their appearance to others all the time, and think they need to change because of beauty standards. It’s the same thing if a Klinefelter male felt they looked different or strange and wanted to fit in to appear more like an xy or xx. It’s a decision influenced by society. (Ofc I would never hate on someone for getting cosmetic procedures, because it’s not their fault they were influenced to think their natural healthy features were ugly or not socially acceptable.)

For ftm and mtf trans people. Socialised gender itself would not exist without society, it’s in the name. If you eliminate society, socialised gender AND cosmetic surgery would not be a thing/desired by people.

Hope I explained that well, I just woke up 😭

[vouam]

Honestly when I hear people say “not receiving gender affirming surgeries will make me feel suicidal” I hear the same thing as if someone said “if I don’t get a nose job I’ll feel suicidal”

It’s a physical insecurity that wouldn’t exist in a vacuum. I’m sorry that you were influenced to feel this way, but surgery will not fix something that is rooted in self-hatred. If you change it with surgery, you will find another insecurity to fixate on within a week.

Also, can we talk about how rebranding gender affirming surgery as some life-saving procedure is just promoting and glamorising a very misogynistic and corrupt industry.

#normalise calling gender affirming surgery plastic surgery #because thats what it is #radblr #radical feminism #radical feminist safe #radical feminists do interact #gender critical #radical feminist community #gender abolition #terfsafe #terfblr #anti cosmetic surgery #plastic surgery