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I've been thinking about Gina's interview and more specifically the zoom call she was supposed to have with 40 trans people. It struck me as odd that Disney would rather her do that instead of meeting people face to face. There had to be an underlying reason why they were being so insistent about the Zoom thing. And then it hit me. It wasn't really a Zoom call. They were trying to force her into a struggle session.

For those who don't know, a struggle session is, it's a form of arranged humiliation designed to make the individual submit to the authority in question, regardless of what the truth is. This tactic is widely used by the CCP, and confirms what a lot of people think about the company.

I am beyond disgusted, and at this point, I take back absolutely everything I said about wanting her to go back if they offered sufficient compensation.

#gina carano

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I just saw Gina Carano’s interview with Ben Sharpio...

And I honestly felt like there were tears in my eyes.  Because I know what it is like to be ‘cancelled’ before that word was ever used.

I had an experience in high school where I called someone a name that turned out to be derogatory.  Before anyone here calls me racist - please note that I am Asian and I live in a country where we have very little western residents.   I had no clue...granted that I’m such a sheltered kid.  And as they say actions has consequences.   After I found out from someone else, what was happening,  I apologized to the person, who used to be my friend, but she had remained cold and kept glaring at me.  I even knelt before her and cried.  But something so small has caused her to hate me so much --- as if all the times before were negated. The people around her spread rumors about me - exaggerated my words even more and changed all the intent of what I said to be something truly hurtful.  I will never forget their names.  I will never forget their faces.  I have forgotten a lot of things in my past but I will never forget those people.

That hurt me a lot.

I had shaped my personality and from that moment on, I shied away from people.  I kept my mouth shut.  I practiced being stoic and unemotional.  I became the wallflower that no one ever noticed.  I felt unworthy, I felt miserable, I felt unloved. I felt my only escape was to leave my school - leave my country and start over in a place where no one knew me.

I understand what is happening to Gina Carano.  Her interview showed exactly what she was feeling.  She is confused that no one wanted to have a conversation anymore and just focus on hating people endlessly.

There is no forgiveness and only hate.

I experienced that in high school and watching her interview and seeing her insecurities in full display - I remember those moments and I feel like I have relived them again through the eyes of someone else.

Yes actions / words have consequences.

But let me ask this - is the punishment equal to the crime?

#gina carano

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I love characters like these!  While women are portrayed as soft, petite, ‘emotionally strong’ and still feminine. Here’s one that is built, curvy and physically strong and doesn’t give a rats ass about femininity!

Why play with dolls when you can play with the toys of the big boys!

The first strong woman character that really got my attention when I was younger, was Vasquez from Aliens. 

Star Wars (Disney) doesn’t have a literal strong woman until Cara IMHO.  Leia, Rey, Jyn, Qi’ra all feel the ‘same’ to me.  Cara is unique!  And I love her character.

Pick one.

#cara dune

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Carasynthia I don’t do the baby thing Dune

Bonus

#cara dune #gina carano

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CaraDin Fanfic Ideas (Flowers Theme)

Because I can’t write...I have been toying with these ideas for a while now.

First:  CaraDin with Hanahaki soulmates.   I didn’t want to write too much angst and about illness but it would be interesting to read something similar to this.  But with the current situation in Disney here is the angsty version --- Cara gets sick with Hanahaki but hides it and pushes away everyone because she doesn’t want to be seen as a burden or being vulnerable.  Din finds out too late and suffers the consequences. 

Second:  CaraDin Flowers soulmates Din gets struck by a Night Sister spell that allows him to see flowers woven around Cara’s hair.   Only he can see the flowers and its only on Cara and no one else. The flowers bloom when Cara is happy like with Grogu or Greef.  They release glowing pollen when she is amused.  But Din can never figure out why they don’t bloom or glow for him.

#caradin

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I am heartbroken.

I’m not American and I’m tried for American politics going in everything that I like.

So disappointed with Disney.

#caradin

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Facebook PSA

Hey all, a little Social Media PSA if you have the Facebook App on your phone. 

With the last update, Facebook began tracking something called ‘off-Facebook Activity’ which keeps up with all apps and browsing you do off of Facebook and collects that information with the purpose of targeting ads… which means they’re selling it to ad agencies. This includes access to any banking apps on your phone and your spending habits. 

 Not only is this a major breech of privacy that Facebook didn’t have to tell us about when they updated the app, it’s, of course, automatically turned on. 

To turn it off, go into your Facebook app, pull up the menu from the main screen [the button with the three horizontal lines] scroll down to security and privacy, find ‘Off-Facebook Activity’ and hit the button that lets you manage your history to see all the apps it’s been collecting from. From there, you can clear the information it’s already collected, and there will be a button regarding ‘Future activity’ where you can turn the ‘feature’ off, at which point Facebook with give you an ‘ARE YOU SURE YOU DON’T WANT US COLLECTING YOUR INFORMATION TO SELL YOU THINGS???’ screen. Yes, yes you are sure. Because this is disgusting. 

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*Shyly waves hand*

Hello coming back to the SW fandom after a long heartbreak with the sequel trilogies.  Looking to try my hand at writing SW fanfics particularly CaraDin (Din x Cara).  If anyone has some prompts please slide it the replies...hope I can write something...

#caradin #Din x Cara #The Mandalorian X Cara

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Omg this episode ♥️

Her tongue in the eighth gif 😍

#cara dune #mandalorian #caradin

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Why I’ve Fallen Out of Love with Star Wars

Hello all! I hope everyone is doing well.

So, I’m writing this with a heavy heart. It is something I have come to realize in these past few weeks and it has taken a lot for me to finally come to terms with it: I am no longer in love with Star Wars.

At least for the time being. I’ll say that. I do have a knack for crawling back to fandoms I’ve previously abandoned due to waning interest or whatever, but, Star Wars is different. Star Wars is something I’ve had more of an emotional attachment to.

I first fell in love with Star Wars when my best friend showed me the original trilogy when I was 7. This was three years before the special edition came out and I was hooked. Her favorite was Return of the Jedi, so that’s the one I have the most attachment to of all since it was the one I watched the most. The only Star Wars movie I saw in theaters up until the sequels was the special edition of A New Hope. My parents didn’t care anything for Star Wars. They bought me the special edition set since they wouldn’t take me to the theaters for ESB or ROTJ. Same went with the prequels, which is why I don’t have as much of an attachment to the prequels because I didn’t see them until way later. Han and Leia were my favorite characters as a kid. I would attempt to put Leia buns in my hair and always messed up seeing as I couldn’t even put a basic ponytail in my hair. But I loved Star Wars and always saw myself in the characters. My interest did wane a bit. I became busy in other interests and, after my friend who showed me the movies moved away and we lost touch, I was the only person in my group of friends and in my family who had a passion for Star Wars. When Carrie Fisher died, any time I saw Leia on screen (even baby Leia from ROTS), I would get teary-eyed. I was that attached to Leia.

I was excited when the sequel trilogy was announced. I didn’t know what to expect going in. I actually didn’t spoil myself for TFA. I was hooked again. At first, I was expecting Rey to be a blood-related Skywalker. I thought Finn would be a Jedi. And there was something odd about Kylo Ren aka Ben Solo that I couldn’t put a finger on until I saw it for a second time, then started going online and discovered Reylo.

I discovered Reylo through art posted on Pinterest. I soon looked more into it and found fanfiction. I even started my own fanfic, Whispers from the Other Side, a post-TFA fic I never finished. I was curious as to Rey’s heritage and, after watching Vincent Vendetta’s Rey Palpatine video, I made her a Palpatine in that fic, but tried to at least take my time developing that Palpatine lineage. I wasn’t attached to the idea, but I liked what Vendetta said about Ben, when we first see him, coming from the light of a ship to the darkness outside and Rey, when we first see her, coming from the darkness of a ship to the light outside. I didn’t take it as concrete evidence she was a Palpatine. I was expecting them to go the boring route and make her a blood-related Skywalker. Kenobi was also high up there on my list of lineage. But out of everything, I LOVED the idea that Rian Johnson made canon in TLJ (until we got TROS) that Rey was a nobody. It sent a profound message. You can come from nothing, no lineage, no connections, etc. and become something, have success, fulfill your dreams. That gives hope to people who have dreams of a bright future, but find themselves in not so great circumstances. It’s inspirational.

Ben Solo is a character who, as I’ve said countless times, stood out to me and one I could relate to. He is, canonically, an abuse victim. If the lines regarding Snoke’s manipulation in TFA and TLJ weren’t enough of a hint, almost any time Ben was mentioned in the ancillary material heavily suggested that Ben was an abuse victim. What drove it home was Palpatine’s confession that he had put those voices in Ben’s head and created Snoke to torment Ben into falling to the dark side. I’ve described my abuse in detail before, but I relate to this particular type of abuse. My abuser took the one thing I wanted the most and used it against me. They would make me feel awful when I wouldn’t comply and even convinced me that my parents were control freaks and were bad for me. I became a Kylo Ren of sorts. I would do things that were out of character for me, act out, have awful thoughts and feel that I could do awful things. It’s scary to think about. I never acted on these thoughts, but I felt the pain of those thoughts and they tomented me. That’s something I still live with from time to time to this day. It damages a person. Even when I say I’m healed, there are still scars.

Even though I became attached to the Ben Solo character, Han and Leia were still my favorites. It was apparent in TFA and TLJ that the one thing they wanted the most was their son back. They wanted him back, alive and wanted him to have a chance to live his life and atone for his actions. Ben Solo deserved that chance.

I almost did half expect for Ben Solo to die, sad as it is to admit. I felt they would redeem him, but he would go out in an epic way and be remembered by the galaxy as a hero and not a villain. I never liked the idea of him dying, but I felt they might go for the ending we’ve seen a million times and not give a character like Ben Solo a chance. However, once I saw that trailer with the line “I have been every voice, you have ever heard, inside your head,” I felt that line drove home the obvious. Ben Solo was abused and didn’t deserve to die, but to atone. And I held out hope they wouldn’t go the route of killing him off, not only for Ben, but for Han and Leia and even Luke. And Rey. Rey cared for Ben. Ben even realized it in the TLJ novel. She was hurt and disappointed in him, but still cared. They even showed in ancillary material that she was struggling with her emotions for Ben.

Then we got TROS. I was so excited for this movie. Like TLJ, any new image, footage, etc., I was making up theories I promised not to get attached to. I knew that whatever we got, would be much more epic and satisfying than anything I could come up with. I didn’t want to believe the leaks. They all seemed like bad fanfiction to me. Like, who the hell came up with that shit, ya know? Little did I know what was to come.

Ben Solo dying isn’t the only reason my love for Star Wars has died, but it sure twisted the metaphorical knife in my gut. The rushed story, nonsensical elements, bad writing, the cringey dialogue, the shoehorned plot details (like Rey Palpatine), the blatant retconning of TLJ, the character assasination, the cheap looking visuals (aside from those Ben Solo visual I keep using), all of it was such a letdown and a disappointment. For months leading up to this, I felt we were pitched a completely different movie. Now I feel like I was lied to. I feel like the Skywalker saga means nothing now.

TROS isn’t the only reason. Toxic fans have essentially ruined Star Wars for me. It isn’t fun anymore. You’re not allowed to have an opinion, a headcanon, or anything with some of these people. You have to stay silent and agree or be ripped to shreds by people who feel they know Star Wars better than you because they read the Legends books or something. I have been accused of so many terrible things because of my opinions and headcanons. I’ve had antis, dudebros, and fanboys try to invalidate me, my ideas, even my experiences with abuse and my experience working in a facility that treats abused children. I’ve been told I’m racist or that the only reason I like Ben Solo and Reylo is because I want Adam Driver’s d*ck (which is not the case. I find him attractive, but I don’t think of him in that way. I have my boundaries and he has his and I respect those boundaries). If you rejected the JP or MSW leaks, you were labeled the “fandom menace.” Jason Ward even called for Reylos and any of his naysayers to be harassed, though it was just to follow-block-follow Reylos to get a rise out of us (I’m sure, like the whole thing that happened with JB, it was taken as a free pass to bully Reylos). It seems to be steadily getting worse. Kelly and Daisy were both bullied off the internet by these “fans.” Two years later, these fans still are bitching about TLJ. I think was hurt more was how Kelly got sidelined after that backlash. TROS basically felt like confirmation that Disney Lucasfilm cared more about the fanboys and dudebros, who were vocal about their hate for TLJ or attacked Kelly in such a racist and sexist manner because they didn’t like her character, than they did about the fandom as a whole. What is absolutely disgusting is the fans who told other fans to k*ll themselves over their opinions or that they hoped they’d get r*ped. How someone could spread so much hate over a fictional story astounds me.

I’ve found that I have no passion for Star Wars anymore. I started a Ben Solo fic the other day, but now I’m not sure if I’ll continue it. I haven’t watched any Star Wars the last several weeks and I have yet to even bring myself to go watch TROS (and I don’t think I’m going to as I feel I know the entire movie based off of what has been posted on the internet). I abandoned two fics after TLJ because of how toxic the fans were and I never went back to them. And it saddens me. It truly saddens me. Star Wars has been a part of my life for so long, but I never had anybody other than my best friend to talk about it with. Now it’s just a cesspool.

I don’t know if Disney can do anything to fix this. I really don’t. I’m not saying goodbye to this fandom. I still have that hope. But, I just don’t love Star Wars anymore. I feel like I’ve gone through a bad breakup. I hope to maybe get some of my love for Star Wars back, but I don’t know.

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“time to bring this back cause I love a Skywalker men’s drama”

I’ve been wheezing at this for a hot minute

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I FINALLY FOUND MY ACTUAL REACTION TO TROS.

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...

And here we stand, the sweet

Arresting duality

And I come to

It's resin all over me

Will I awake

Will I get a ride with you

In this race of two

We're an endless stream of choices

We're the softest murmur of voices

...

Without names we're fantasising

Dancing like flames, mesmerising

My dark disquiet playing such eerie harmonies

...

We are marionettes by strings animated

Yet like lovers of strings liberated

Ok...Im going to make a Reylo vid...

#reylo #reylo songs #reylo song

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One taught me LOVE

One taught me PATIENCE

One taught me PAIN

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Rian Johnson,

Years ago you served our fandom in The Last Jedi. Now we beg you to help us in our struggle against tragic ending of The Rise of Skywalker. I regret that I am unable to present our request to you in person, but my ship has fallen under attack, and I’m afraid Kathy’s mission to bring you back on board has failed. 

We have placed information vital to the survival of Ben Solo into your hands. You must see this boy safely delivered back to his soul mate. This is our most desperate hour. 

Help us, Rian Johnson. You’re our only hope.

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JJ, the man without a single bone of originality in his body, forgot one crucial detail in the end...or did he?

TROS is an obvious clone of The Return of the Jedi - just as The Force Awakens is a clone of A New Hope.

JJ got all the familiar scenes except one very important scene...

THIS

The final scene of The Return of the Jedi included the force ghosts of all the relevant ones who Luke lost...including his redeemed father, Anakin.

And yeah, JJ being the copycat that he is, conveniently added a scene with the force ghosts of Luke and Leia- both who helped form who she is as a Jedi.  

Luke got to see the force ghost of his father...even after seeing him die and cremating his body.  Luke got to see the force ghost of his father, even after they have reconciled and had a deep moment with once another.

But JJ didn’t put the most important person that shaped who she is:  BEN.

Some may argue that is because Ben is not a Skywalker.  Newsflash, Rey’s own Grandpa calls Ben the last Skywalker.  So if JJ, in his love for these money shots, would have put the 3 Skywalkers there:  Luke, Leia, and Ben.  It would have been a nice touch too because it would imply that Ben has mended things with his family - that he had come ‘home’.

But Ben wasn’t a force ghost.

And it makes you wonder why...

Because that is a very obvious intentional omission from a director that keeps on referencing tributes.

Members of LucasFilm (and I’m not too happy with them right now) have said that other characters can come back when needed.  Initially, I thought that was just because of Palpatine but now I think it also pertains to Ben.

We might think that Rey was being insensitive for not mourning Ben, but what if she knows something that we don’t?  Sure Ben could have put his force life in her (which can also mean other things) and he is 100% with her in spirit...but not having an obvious force ghost smells ‘fishy’...

LF and Disney know how popular Kylo Ren / Ben is a character.  Are they leaving a door open for him to come back - when the story calls for it?

#ben solo #ben skywalker #kylo ren #force ghosts #anakin skywalker #star wars

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Time Dilation: Or how Ben and Rey spent a lifetime together with single kiss

Yes...I am not over it.

And ironically, my husband comes to the rescue in trying to help me feel better to make sense of the ending.  Please note, my husband is not a Reylo, but we both like taking apart movies and he liked TLJ.   A little background, I spoiled my husband silly with the leaks.  I couldn’t hold my anger and disappointment to myself, so I spoiled the plot to him before we even watched it.

When we left the theater, one of the first things my husband tells me was:

“Rey married Ben.  That’s why she is Skywalker.”

I was confused because I thought she took the name ‘Skywalker’ on a whim while she was in Tatooine.   

Then he starts laying things out for me logically:

* So many times Ben offer’s his hand to Rey.   We all know that’s one way of asking someone to marry you.  Unlike in TLJ, when Ben offers his hand it was a physical action.  But in TROS Ben actually says it.   Also in TROS, Rey confirms that she wanted to take his hand - but she wanted Ben, not Kylo.   In the end, she did take his hand when he was healing her.  This marks the first time that they both consciously touched one another.  (When Rey has healing him, she didn’t touch him...her hand was just hovering near him.)   At least to my husband that was tantamount to her actually marrying him at that moment.

* The kiss.   TLJ showed us just how powerful physical interaction between these two.  A mere brush of fingertips is enough to catapult visions of the future that they both share.  Snoak tries to downplay this but the truth is the visions were all real and true.  Palpatine confirms that a very unique bond exists that hasn’t been seen in so many generations, between Ben and Rey.  So if a finger brush is too much to reduce Rey to tears and ship herself to Ben, what more in a kiss.   My husband thinks that the moment where they kissed made them live out a life with one another where they were together.  That’s why when they finally came up for air, they were so happy.  They got to live their happy ending and because of that Rey was able to let go...or who knows maybe they saw visions of the future that they were truly together and all Rey needed to do was to wait.  Maybe Ray saw something in those moments, that made her hopeful not grieve for her lost love.  (Let’s face it, everyone, Rey loves Ben.  There is absolutely no question about that.)

* Rey Skywalker.  My husband pointed out that Palpatine called Ben Skywalker - NOT SOLO.   Of course, he knew Ben’s official name to be Solo since he manipulated or was Snoak after all.  But Palpatine drops that and calls him Skywalker, In fact, I don’t recall Ben Solo even uttered in the movie...certainly not by Rey.   Palpatine acknowledges Ben as the last Skywalker and for his granddaughter to take that name, it would imply that she is married to him.   Rey takes Skywalker even after his ‘death’.  She is his even in death.

Of course, I was surprised that it was my husband who actually thought of this.  I know he was trying to make me feel better but he told me that’s how he honestly felt...that they married each other at that time.   

So there...just sharing my husband’s thoughts in this thing.  I hope it helps some of you who were felling as lost as I was.

#reylo #rey skywalker #ben solo #ben skywalker #star wars