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7ban-sama · 3 months

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Hello, so, I've been following you for a while, and I think you write so well. I would actually read a fanfic of yours about those three, you know, Tsukasa, Yashiro, Hanako. My question is, what do you imagine it would be like: Nene and Hanako's first time, Hanako and Tsukasa's first time Yashiro and Tsukasa's first time and finally, the first time between the three of them? Yes, about sex itself. It's okay if you don't feel comfortable answering, but I'm genuinely curious to know how you would imagine it.

Thank you for the compliment on my writing...! I like to write, so... nice that others can regard that writing kindly. 💦 I suppose on that note, since it's relevant to your question: I've actually covered the idea of a 'first time' between all 3 in a fic before, in A heart in the right place (a collaboration between me and @2n2n💜) Feel free to check that out, if it would be of interest.

Now as for your question-! Actually... I really love thinking about 'first times'... in fact, it's really fun to try and approach it from different angles, like solving a puzzle. 'How can I make [this] particular thing happen between [them]? Hm hm hm...'

I'll try to summarize my thoughts. :3

HanaNene

The classic shoujo ship of the manga~ I honestly adore that at it's bones, you have a pair between a tragic ghost boy and a girl with her little devil horns and skull brooch. They're very sweetly designed to be 'for' one another, and I always appreciate that. I love that they're both childish and inclined to play together. There's also an awkwardness between them I find really precious, they seem soo easily overwhelmed when things get 'serious'... As if it's difficult brushing up against the intensity of how much they like each other. But before it gets serious, it has to start out kind of silly, I think...

Depending on the world, Amane is either creepily shmoozing onto her in a predatory fashion (canon, Ghost Hotel, Bakeneko Ryokan) or... he's 'shy', fussy, perhaps even avoidant (your more mundane Amanes are this I think, a spectrum between the presented identity in PP and something like Teen School Drama boy...) I feel as though Nene always has to go through a phase of, 'he's not my type', followed by 'I'm just a normal girl!' 'This is too much!' haha... She's innately charmed by him, but wary, and unsure about saying yes to... this. This isn't how any of her fantasies ever played out... (Imagined more traditional experiences ww) ; By contrast, I would say Amane is more... immediately infatuated-? Consciously attracted-?? But he doesn't, expect or prepare for deep attachment... Doesn't think it's, love, kind of, sucks, is thinking HOT GIRL... pant pant... Sure, I'll take a shot, why not... <- Bizarre amount of confidence and detachment.

Hmm, I guess actually, I see them as both not expecting to be as into the dynamic as they are, so they're unprepared (and inexperienced...) Hence, all the hesitation about committing to it being More... Subsequently, I think it takes quiet a while to get to dating, and even longer until confessions. Typically I imagine sex happening before all that actually! It may seem out of order, but something sexual is easier to access than deeply working out feelings... 'One thing leads to another.'

For first times specifically, I am,, naturally, inclined, to think about it being noncon-!! !! !! OTL💦 In some manner...!

(... in my defense, the manga harasses me into thinking about it...

This is bullying-!! I'm being bullied.💔)

... but in all seriousness... u.u; That's really how I picture it happening... The cocktail of Amane's instability, possessiveness, forcefulness, leads to something snapping inside. Amane... he can't help but being a bit of a ticking time bomb. He has rabies (dormant.) And his urges are often being coaxed and encouraged by Nene, even. Actually, I really like when things start consensual, then devolves into rape. 9.9 Paradoxically.

To be more specific... Imagine something set relatively early in the manga, amidst the first couple volumes. Nene proposes, a bit clumsily, something like — practice kissing. For fun-! Nothing too 'serious', so. Amane can be agreeable, smiling about it, maybe even half-lidded. "Ohhh... Yashiro, you wanna do that~? Haha." [she baps him for teasing]

They do this a couple times... Both are feeling, more doki-doki about it than they'd expect, but with different responses to that. Nene is kind of like, twirling her hair, writing diary entries cutely at home about it... Amane is feeling wary, on edge. (Doesn't like feeling passion, because the last time that happened...🔪) He wouldn't let on his concerns though, just be normal silly ghost guy, deflecting. Out of Nene's periphery, she could watch as he clutches the edge of his clothes, fist shaking. Nene sees that as a victory though, like, ah he's! Nervous, Hanako-kun, he likes this... *mind wanders, imagine he wants to touch her more during!* huehueuee.... hehe!

So naturally, Nene so-kindly offers that he rest his hands on her, if he wants, he, doesn't have to keep them to himself. >> Maybe cheekily (but shyly) imply that they could practice... Well more things! Poses... dialogue?? Surprisingly, he doesn't take to the offer though. (Well it seems weird bc he is, known pervert ghost.) You could then imagine Nene getting a bit persistent, like... He just needs encouragement. Hanako-kun, he's surprisingly shy... But I can take the lead-! That kind of mindset.

To Amane, she feels strangely pushy, like, why does she keep trying, saying things like that, she should be more careful. I'm a, guy, ugh, Yashiro, you can't just go inviting these things, you don't know what'll happen. [guy who is a murderer voice] He feels ah, poked, prodded, goaded. ? And he kind of is... but that's scary for Amane, like-!! He's kind of all or nothing, in my mind, holding it all back or... Losing control, in a haze, brain overheated, boiling inside. Need to DO something...

So even if Nene was encouraging or even fantasizing about ~something~ happening between them, I think the inciting action is very sudden, harsh, without warning. And so it feels violating! Getting pinned down, groped, mouthed desperately... Tights shoved out of way quickly, and, by the time he drives a finger in, her mind is going blank.

Ah that's another element... I think of fingering super often as their first time! Fingering expresses something like, impatience in Amane, wanting to hurriedly shove inside! There's no time, he wants to confirm everything in tactile touch, wants to feel her warm and wet insides! Her living body-!! Raurgh... It's a lot of effort to unbuckle, unzip, get self out, and, there's a loss of control at that point that is too scary almost? I think Amane's hind brain worries about getting out his cock. (Again, it's kind of like.🔪🔪🔪)

Luckily for Amane he has a finger fetish and, I think it results in admiring other's fingers, as well as being very fixated on interfacing things with his own. Verrry stimulated by wiggling fingers inside, feeling the give of inner walls, reaching far into her. There'll be a point where he gets lost in the raw sensations of pumping in and out. As for Nene... I always think she's besieged by genuine confusion, disorientation, some fear (as she can't get away, can't push him off), then sadness (why didn't he tell me he wanted to...) Yet she is simultaneously enthralled to get to feel something so intense.

There's. [sigh.....] A joke in PP that insinuates Nene masturbates a lot... I internalize this as truth, and a part of her whole romance-obsession and, the way she goes on flights of fancy... Nene-chan is someone who has spent a lot of time ~fantasizing~... and she has imagined guys being forceful with her... For a girl who worries about being unwanted and ugly, it'd be relieving for someone to instead be so into her they MUST touch her. So it's not all bad, I think she does feel her heart pounding wildly in her chest, is amazed at how Amane holds her close. When Amane feels things... it's with crazy intensity! Something you never see on anyone else! So that's incredible to witness...

The aftermath can go any which-way, but let's say generally I think of things getting 'better' over time... Even with the fraught start. ❤

Those are generally the things I envision in canon. I like to go anywhere between V1-8, mostly focusing on things before PP & the Severance. Picture Perfect arc is like, it's own beast, so envisioning a first time occurring then has a different vibe. That being said, I have a delusion that in PP, Amane was going to finger Nene-chan at the movies. And I've thought very hard about him fingering her in the jail cell, while Nene pretends to be unconscious. 😶

Also in AUs, like mundane non-magic ones, I like to think of them going at a pretty steady pace of hanging out, flirting, getting to know each other. But then, Amane suddenly drags Nene into a closet or bathroom stall and fingers her with 0 conversation beforehand, really putting Nene through a lot emotionally wrhghfh... Even in a world where there's less extreme circumstance, I guess I envision Amane just being so bad at things like asking permission. He really would rather not. He'd prefer, taking advantage of openings. "Houdai"... *sighs*

AmaTsuka

The twins... Ooh, they are so painful for me to think about. In adoration of each other, and yet...💔 Haaa. I will be blunt, I think they have it the hardest, when it comes to consummating... The disadvantage of the incest taboo isn't negligible; it isn't an intuitive thought, to be attracted to your twin brother. Why, how? That's not how it's 'supposed' to be. I think Amane and Tsukasa both struggle to identify their feelings as romantic/sexual. Though-! I think Amane is closer to 'seeing' it, but he's also a lot more avoidant about confronting sensitive feelings like that. (Even with Nene...) So.

The result of this all is: the ultimate slow burn, taking yeeeears to remotely realize their feelings. And even if one of them does, if they don't have confidence the other reciprocates, they can't make progress...

(Looking at AUs, the lovers suicide seems STEP 1 of romance actualization. Amane needs to, reach his limit EXPLODE, take Tsukasa with him... Perhaps, do crazy things like drink his blood, eat his fingers, hold his heart in his fist.)

As you can imagine... Sex is a very far-off goal... And ah, another factor that muddies things is, I think Amane and Tsukasa both have unusual sexualities... the sort of thing you can't really put labels on. I will be blunt, I never think of them as being attracted to 'boys'... because, there's no attraction to the general concept of maleness, and they'd never like. Have a crush on some guy, ever. This is strictly an obsession with one another, and further defined by roles/inclinations of theirs. Tsukasa being very servile & masochistic, while Amane is very domineering & sadistic. Another reason why things tend to culminate in something as extreme as heart-stab. Uncontrollably into 🔪stabbing and being stabbed.💘

The prelude to this all is in childhood; many fleeting 'incidents'... Small moments where they colluded sexually, like — were both horny about something they were doing together. But that "something" could be any number of innocuous things... such as.

Chasing each other in the yard, pretending to be dinosaurs, playbiting. Rough-housing in a pool, holding each other underwater, wiggling out from each other's grasps. Laying around on the floor indoors, bicycling legs together, devolving into nudging and kicking the other. Having... a staring competition? Throwing food for the other to catch in their mouth-!? The list goes on... it gets eccentric, minuscule. Invisible. Aroused by Amane commanding you in a callous tone. Aroused by Tsukasa licking something off his fingers mindlesssly. Heart racing while Amane circles you, examines your yukata, adjusts your obi, laughs under his breath. Holding Tsukasa's mouth open to inspect the new gap from the recently lost baby tooth, seeing remnants of bloody tissue.

Mesmerized by one another. Made to feel a distant twinge of heat. Throat clenching, making it hard to talk. Blinking slowly. These physical responses are as mysterious as the instigators... Neither twin can understand it... Wouldn't it feel absurd to think anything of it? You're probably just excited to be with your brother, because you love your brother, because you're supposed to love your brother. 'The end.'

There's no way to really pursue anything they feel. It's all brief... ends as abruptly as it starts. Kind of lost between Tsukasa's cluelessness, and Amane's defensiveness. I think Tsukasa follows Amane's lead, let's him set the tone, and it's Amane that wants to dismiss things, laugh it off, explain it away. Even so, these incidents are endless little dots accumulating over their entire childhood. Building up steadily.

Another detail... I tend to HC the twins as being easily affectionate and touchy throughout most of their childhood. Comfortable to reach for the other's hand, play together, take naps, etc. Even bathing was likely very mundane, your basic skinship.

Many years spent like this! Friendly, touchy, comfortable.

As they age, there's a bit more distance... modesty. I think Amane is the one who gets rather stiff, more like 'sigh, come on...' [not looking at Tsukasa when he grabs his hand.] Sounding beleaguered, something like that... Increased tsundere, really.

(They're still very close though. Without thinking about it... anyone else would see them as quite attached.)

Noting this though because I think of Amane as suffering more from the onset of ~puberty~... Like genuinely, ah, more pervasive awareness of own arousal, struggling with getting hard over nothing. More. Debilitated. By penis. Can't let gaze linger on Tsukasa when they get dressed in the morning. Because. It's weird now. Kind of like an invisible wall is manifesting between him and Tsukasa steadily...

Tsukasa is aware of the growing distance, but... his inclinations are to presume Amane simply finds him annoying... (Despite what we see in PP, I've yet to think that 12-13 yo Tsukasa was quite so *tackle glomp*... I think yorishiro Tsukasa is his own entity, more adjacent to an excitable 3 yo Tsu. Currently think of 12 yo boy as more modest as well...) Anyways this miscommunication occurs... concurrent with Tsukasa's unconscious pining for Amane deepening, which manifests as a urgency to be useful to him in some manner. A continuation of his feelings as a child...

Going to try and explain a philosophy of mine, but. I think if the twins had sex, they wouldn't have died, so. Logically they did not, and that's why they're ghosts in canon setting. And as ghosts, I can't see AmaTsuka managing to have sex without TsuNene/3way happening first. Nene-chan provides necessary encouragement and motivation for both as they struggle with recognizing what they feel. In a lot of ways, her simple-girl outlook on things helps her go, gasp... Wait, is it, love? WHICH... THEY REALLY NEED... And unfortunately I think Amane is a tough nut to crack, he kind of needs a certain amount of pressure. A girl scolding him. (And it needs to be Amane who does something, because Tsukasa won't...)

Related to that... I usually think Amane needs to endure a bit of cucking, in some form, first, before, making his move. He needs to feel agony as Tsukasa's first kiss is with someone else. He needs to be on the brink of tears thinking about Tsukasa's virginity. We really need to cattle prod Amane until he puts his foot down. Get insane... That's... MY otouto, he's MINE, I KILLED HIM AND HE'S MINE, HE BELONGS TO ME, HE'S MY PROPERTY!!! I DECIDE WHAT HE GETS!! ! !! !! *froths*

Once you get him going though, it's— you need, look no further, he will be unstoppable. All those years, man! I think it could be as batshit as choking Tsukasa against the ground while humping him. Or like immediately facefucking him. Jerking Tsukasa off with one hand, holding his jaw in the other, crazily talking down at him. Fingering his mouth, throat, making him gag. Any number of things. Sometimes Nene-chan must watch as Tsukasa gets an agonizing overstimulating blowjob. Poor baby... *but she was instigating this & also it IS important it happens* *sits with mouth pressed in line*

Now... putting a little integrity aside... When I want to soothe my brain, I think about the Yugi somehow miraculously managing something in their childhood. (You have to just assume this is fate-altering, a new timeline emerged from it.) My favorite backdrop for childhood first times is something at Tanabata... Age 8. After running around together, laughing, holding hands... Laying in the grass, on this warm summer night. Scent plumes from your yukata collars. Sweaty... Hazy...

I think about things like, Amane being careless and just — kissing Tsukasa on impulse. Some measly thought behind it like, it'd be fun to imitate what couples do, it would be fun to watch Tsukasa react to a kiss lol, etc. Frustratingly easygoing about it, since he's not thinking hard... Tsukasa is left stunned, spellbound. He has special feefees about Tanabata and, fixates on the romantic elements more, so I think it's overwhelming for him...

Well, ig there's no reason not to include these sketches of mine.

You get the vibe. Similar to how he shmoozes Nene really, somehow... the doting, the condescending! Playfulness. Not being as serious as he ought to be.

Though at this age I don't think Amane is as encumbered as 50 yo murder-suicide ghost Hanako... So I think he can initiate more with Tsukasa. Ahhh I usually think about them either tucked behind a stall or somewhere distant from the festival, Amane hiking his yukata up and Tsukasa curious, eager to please, easily coaxed into a blowjob. Thinking so simply... it's like kissing Amane... but here.

This is probably the most innocent I can envision it... Something like this, it's more explorative, experimental. Kind of extrapolating on how they're always playing together, this can feel like another 'game'... sort of.

[blinks] I realize I can't possibly summarize AU AmaTsuka shennanies... not meangfully. I think it's. For lack of kinder terms, a lot of dumb yaoi bullshit, I don't know. AidaIro are really faffing off in those AUs... Like, I think TS Tsukasa just goes to their dorm and puts on that stupid bunny mask Amane is horny about and Amane just gets to jerk off onto him. Bakeneko Ryokan Amane is just fucking Tsukasa in the sabi space or whatever and their collars are jingling in unison. The Valentine's day devil-angel twins are just going to have SEX later as prize for Amane winning the bet. I hate it so much. Let's move on.

TsuNene

[clearing my mind...]

After those other two pairings, it kind of amuses me to say, I think TsuNene have a lot less... emotional obstacles, stopping them from getting close. But it's kind of mean, the major difference is that they're both more open, honest individuals than Amane... That's just the truth! Oh well 💔💔 At least they love him dearly so, he's not going to be left behind or anything...

I often internally describe TsuNene as a "schoolyard romance"... having chemistry the way two kindergartners would, playing in the sandbox together. Nene easily gets carried away, and so does Tsukasa! Childish, naive, silly-willies! These two are prone to getting lost in the throes of playtime, hardly stopping to second-guess much... Recent updates have really delighted me, as we finally get to see Tsukasa and Nene play together directly! Even though he's been the mysterious "villain" Nene has fleeting interactions with... They wind up playing tag, laughing while flying around, and singing together, now don't they?

⬆A dream come true for me... All the potential I see in TsuNene well exemplified here.

Of course, not to discredit the other moments they've had together... I think TsuNene is so very real in the manga! (Really, it's just that others have taken a while to acknowledge it.) I've based a lot of my writing, etc. on things like the red house arc...

I think Nene can easily find Tsukasa cute, precious, sweet and smart! She can step up and be the onee-san between them too, much like she does with 8 yo Amane as well... Meanwhile, I think Tsukasa formed a crush on Nene back here... A nice pretty girl doting on him. And she likes Amane too, ahh... They are matching!

If they spend enough time hanging out, I think it's inevitable for them to get along, really...

There are things Tsukasa lacks, like.. a kind of territorial, demanding quality. Amane pushes himself onto Nene, makes ploys for her attention, wants to be seen as cool (and he does the very same to Tsukasa, as well.) He 'puts it on', he 'works you over'... Tsukasa is the opposite; he doesn't ask anything of the other. He's not jealous... he doesn't have expectations. He's just, Tsukasa, he only thinks to respond honestly. A little kid showing you a bug, because he thinks you'll like it. I think this is disarming...!

On top of it all, there's this ethereal quality to him, as he thinks so bluntly, and isn't encumbered by what is 'acceptable'... So he will hold your face and look directly into your eyes, and say aloud what he observes you feeling. Or ask you what you're feeling, because he's curious. Or, say how he's feeling... He can be so direct. He can say he likes you, or thinks you are pretty.

It's just so direct... I think a girl could really appreciate that! While Amane is teasing, fussy, rude... it can be mysterious if Amane even likes you... With Tsukasa, no mystery! As Nene is befriending him, he would certainly seem as though he likes her... maybe just so innocently, it's hard to discern romance from it.

Basically I think in any timeline/world, Nene is destined to go through the thought process: Wait, does Tsukasa-kun like me? I had no idea... all along, is that what 'this' was? *looks back on memories* Eh- well- m-maybe that's...

... no, um. Hmm. Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself...

Lol but just as well, it doesn't stop Nene from confronting how she would feel if this were the case. IF it's possible that Tsukasa likes her... then. Nene basically begins forming a sense of excitement at the prospect, deep in her heart. Her imagination runs wild... because, of course, she can't help but like him... She's deep down attracted to Amane, and I think. She is. Allured. By the concept of being courted by, twins. Multiple boys... we know Nene is weak to the idea.

Usualllyyyy, I think about them getting as far as a kiss on their own, and the idea of more is a bit intimidating... at first. But if Nene is lustful she could succeed in taking it further, really. I think, she can just, reach under that hakama, and there's no resistance. At most Tsukasa is simply ah, overwhelmed like, did not know Nene-chan liked me that much! Did not ever think about getting to do things with a girl ever! Has never... felt... desirable, in that way... That's almost like, not what he's 'for'...

As manic as he is usually, I think Tsukasa gets very 6.6 [small...] in an intimate moment like this. It's that way he gets, where he struggles to dream even about humble platonic things... All the fixation on romance as well means, kissy, touchy, is like /// wah //// so you like me that much...// //// Subsequently, Nene-chan must take the lead! But again... if she's confident enough, she can do it...

They're cute... I really just think about, her hand reaching under hakama, kimono... first grasping and feeling under the layers of clothes, heart racing. She's ah, nervous too of course... Excited though, to finally feel 'it', weouue.... Real boy... Cute boy, flustered boy! Amusingly enough I think she'd really wish to see, Tsukasa's junk directly but it's so many layers it feels, like invasive in a way she isn't confident about. So instead it's like mmh... mostly fixating on the sensations of her hand around him, the twitching she can feel.. Until it gets too much for her and she neeeeds to feel it inside. (In my mind Nene is insatiable, has almost no patience for waiting for PIV... Like ah amusingly Amane can keep her at bay from it, when she'd wish it would be sooner. COBCVK!!! NEED>....)

Dunno why but I often imagine them in doggystyle... It's a different vibe than when I picture HanaNene in it also — more clumsy! Nene on all fours, Tsukasa close up against her, clutching her... Tsukasa is more liable to slip out and need help rearranging, reaching back, being slipped in... Lose 'rhythm', struggle to focus! I also like Tsukasa struggling to stay hard... sometimes get half-chubs, fluctuating. Fffeeels good thoughhh... for both of them. They're both like >< >< ouuh.... Squeeze... He squeeze, cling to her, she nuzzles by tilting her head back against him...

By the end it's like... flop over!! Touch foreheads!! Kiss, thread fingers...!! Bwbwhuuu... Peaceful afterglow... whisper to each other about it...

... in a world where neither of them have gotten to bridge intimacy with Amane yet, it's very like... sighs together... Wish they could talk to him about it, wish they could share it with him, in some way. Though I think they could keep boning for a while before doing anything about it kfkfjh like... W-well, it's fun and good andndhfhg no reason not to.

And that's

thesis.

On all pairings. Houugh. [crumples up...]

I'd almost feel silly describing HanaNeneTsuka itself since, that's what I'm always posting about and drawing porn of kfkgjhsdg... [briefly imagining like, me describing the twins taking turns coming in Nene and eating her out or something...] The. It's fine. Just imagine the way all 3 of these perfectly intersect. Everyone is really really really really really into each other and they get along. Anyways there's my fanfic, as I mentioned, which is culminates in the three-! And... also this blog archiving RPs between me and my wife I've been chipping away at. Lose your mind there if you need.

OKAY thanks goodnight.

#☀️#💬#❤️🤍💜#i haven't had much energy lately... *coughs blood*#but i can offer you. this.

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