a-child-of-mayonnaise

[a-child-of-mayonnaise]

guys I just found the greatest video on the internet

[a-child-of-mayonnaise]

If a worker who isn't the owner says ANYTHING similar to "I'm not really supposed to do this but-" and then does something that helps you, under no circumstances inform the business, including through reviews. You tell them that the worker was polite, professional, the very model of customer service and why you like to go there. You do not breathe a word of the rulebreaking.

[a-child-of-mayonnaise]

Couple of commissions to start off the year!

[a-child-of-mayonnaise]

this is such a non-issue but truly no greater tragedy than seeing a piece of media furryfied and they've made your special guy the wrong animal. like that animal does NOT align with the themes in my little guy's story, do it again.

[a-child-of-mayonnaise]

"have you learned how to drive yet" i have the spirit of friendship in my heart. the joy of lifes little things in my soul. the whimsy of magic. the beautiful enjoyment of nature. the answer is no though

[a-child-of-mayonnaise]

freshly molted Madagascar hissing cockroach. isn’t she lovely?

(Gromphadorhina portentosa hybrid)

[a-child-of-mayonnaise]

[a-child-of-mayonnaise]

girl are you a medieval executioner bc you are torturing me with your rack

[a-child-of-mayonnaise]

their name is boys kissing in case you want to google them

[a-child-of-mayonnaise]

what effect is this supposed to have on me

[a-child-of-mayonnaise]

why is trying to make a new friend so embarrassing. hi. me again. asking for your attention once more even though i am literally just some random person to you. it's because i want to be not just a random person to you. please understand

[a-child-of-mayonnaise]

Mad Magazine

[a-child-of-mayonnaise]

as a kid i thought i would graduate from kid problems like cleaning my room to adult problems like jobs and taxes. but instead i have a job and taxes and still have to clean my room. cleaning my room is a lifetime problem. i will never stop having to put my markers away before bedtime. this is a rude way for aging to work.

[a-child-of-mayonnaise]

Moira makes her very first friend !

[a-child-of-mayonnaise]

The thing about standing ovations is that they are like after care for actors: it’s ok that you dressed up and played pretend for two hours! Everyone liked it! No one thought it was weird!

[a-child-of-mayonnaise]

[a-child-of-mayonnaise]

To this day I still think "I wish squids were real" is the funniest example of ascended canon ever. Like, the first Splatoon game comes out, someone makes a Miiverse post just saying "I wish squids were real" (already peak comedy), "I wish X was real" becomes a meme in the Splatoon community and gets reposted everywhere.

Then two years later Splatoon 2 comes out and

Literally iconic