aberrantabby

[aberrantabby]

Not a kinky update but I have welcomed a new animal into my life and that's important to me.

[aberrantabby]

I can never remember to use a pill organizer so I sorta go back and forth on the order of pills because I have two spots where I put my pill bottles.

I take the estrogen last because that dissolves under my tongue.

What order do you take pills in?

[aberrantabby]

I probably spend too much time feeling bad about being a sadist, and yet here we are.

the demonization of sadist doms & darker kink doms in general is regressive and dangerous for myriad reasons but it also just sucks that it makes so many doms (and particularly those with marginalized identities who face heavier scrutiny and potential legal penalty for consensual kink) hesitant to display any public joy related to their sexuality and desire. as a masochist sub women who enjoy hurting me and who get as much out of scenes as i do are just absolutely breathtaking. feeling a woman smile with her whole body when she admires a handprint on your cheek or your blood on her fingers, getting to let her explore scenes and concepts with you, being somebody she can trust to communicate and participate safely and feeling that trust in how she touches you. just absolute sunbeams of people who should not only be free from undue scrutiny & assumptions of inherent guilt but in fact should be lauded in the street and hand-fed cut fruit

[aberrantabby]

I feel like I have the normal American accent... BUT I can and have been known to slip into a New York or possibly Italian American New York accent from time to time, and I don't notice but it's usually only when I'm talking about where I grew up, and I think that's neat.

It's weird to me because it really does feel like there's a standard American accent.

rb this and tell me what ur accent is. this has no purpose except the fact i just realized i could have like... mutuals with cockney accents or newfoundland accents or something and thats just wild

#a thing my mother told me #my mother is an awful person #however bad you think she is #she's worse. #anyway she thinks that in a lot of countries #accents are shorthand for class #especially in England. #so it's like an auditory discriminatory shorthand #oh i know you're poor #or low class #or whatever #the point is that then she'd explain how America doesn't do that and that's why there's a generic American accent #and then how America is the greatest country in the world #and then something typically more racist #anyway i think about the class thing a lot

[aberrantabby]

I never see enough doms talking about how much we need emotional aftercare just as much as subs do and it genuinely makes me scared because how many of us are walking around in dom drop without knowing it. You need to be reminded that there was consent. You need to be reminded that you are more than any 'violence' you do in scene. You need to be reminded of the relationship you have with your sub outside of a scene. You need to be reminded that the power dynamic the two of you have created is one for pleasure and not oppression. You are not wrong for needing that and any sub worth your time will think so too.

[aberrantabby]

I should get on this.

Okay but consider the fact that you probably have made a bunch of your mutuals cum but you don’t even know it

[aberrantabby]

Oh okay I'm totally normal about this post.

The kiss and the fight for love

June 2022

Picture by J.Konrad Schmidt

[aberrantabby]

I need to get myself a bigger knife… pocket sized isn’t very Australian of me

#yes good

[aberrantabby]

I'm very gay but honestly I'd love to do this to a straight couple. I was reading someone's post about how she fucked her bestie in the ass and how that's just something she's gonna have over her bestie forever, and I just think it would be neat to do that with a couple.

hard to put this into words, but power fantasy of getting to be dominant with a couple is doing it for me

Like, 2 women who are in a relationship with each other who are both submitting to me, together. Idk its somethin else. Using them against each other, making one of them help me control the other, etc. Great potential.

#i would need to find the right couple #torturing the boy until the girl begs me to stop #degrading them both

[aberrantabby]

Please take your meds.

"why do I feel so terrible?"

-person who forgot to take their not-feeling-terrible medication

[aberrantabby]

this meeting could have been a discord video call of you jerking off for me

[aberrantabby]

the bravery of a girl who has to decide what is for dinner and then cook it and then wash dishes every day forever and ever.

[aberrantabby]

I love following you because not only do I love hearing about you being sucked, you always come up with a new degrading nickname. I hope you're learning to give great head with your face cunt.

edging to sleep

[aberrantabby]

"fun" thought that's been living rent free in my head.

CW: white supremacist imagery.

So my second day at work at this job, I took the bus in, as I've been doing. As the bus is leaving, this dude starts banging on the bus to get on. He doesn't pay the fare (fine, transit should be free) and he has a pretty visible swastika neck tattoo (not fine).

So I get to work and because it's my second day I am doing our DEI onboarding. One of the questions the facilitator asked was "can you say that you treated every person you saw today with respect and dignity" and I don't want to say anything but I'm thinking really loudly "no, but not in the way you mean".

Anyway I think about that a lot and I'm glad I'm getting a car soon.

[aberrantabby]

When I was younger I definitely wanted to own someone 24/7. I still do, sometimes, but it's different now. I have a lot of responsibilities. I'm better at executive function but there's so much more to do. Also I understand tpe a lot better at 34 than 19. Owning someone is a lot of work. It's a lot of fun, but it's a lot of work.

Owning Me Is Complicated

Occasionally I come across content that makes it seem like being a Dom is easy.

Order her around, make her do the things you don't want to do, do whatever you want, "win" all the disagreements because you're the dom - or even silence her from disagreeing with you to begin with. Get sex exactly how you want it, exactly when you want it. She's just a living, breathing object that can and will do whatever you want. She has no needs other than to make your life easier. She's your own personal robot, but with a body you want to fuck. Being a dom is like a regular relationship but without the emotional labor. I'm sure there are other gender versions out there too, but I see the M/f version most often. It's so funny to me how absurd that all is compared to real life.

Owning me is complicated. Owning me means doing way more emotional labor than a vanilla relationship would require, not less.

Yes, I do what he says - but he's responsible for making the best decisions he can. He's in charge, so keeping me physically and emotionally safe is his responsibility. It's a huge part of how he earns my submission. It's no small thing to make decisions when making them well is part of how he keeps me safe and keeps me open and trusting towards him. Yes, I'll try to push my sexual limits for him - but I have complex emotional needs that accompany physical intimacy. Use my body without having respect for my physical and mental health and it'll fall apart real quick. And once again, making a reckless decision here that would leave me damaged and could forever damage our dynamic. Sure, he can take his cock out anytime and instruct me to suck and I will, but that doesn't mean it's all fun and games. He has the burden of double and triple checking that he isn't pushing me too far, or taking too much as to leave me empty. Yes, he gets the final say in disagreements, but he earns that by hearing me out. He couldn't keep me submissive if he didn't respect my feelings. I can't feel respected if I'm not heard. So he has to hear me out and really listen. And then his job is to attempt to get the best outcome for both of us. He has to try to balance our needs, because if either of us gets neglected, we individually suffer and then the relationship suffers. So he sometimes deals with the weight of threading the needle between his needs and mine, his wants and mine. His shoulders carry the weight of those choices. Yes, he can deny my wishes - and even my needs for a time, if he chose. But I am human. How long can he deny me things that bring me pleasure before I start to feel unwanted, unloved, disrespected, thrown out? Resentment would set in eventually. Self-protection would kick in eventually...and it might be too late by then, the damage may be done by the time I would wake up to look around and decide I didn't want to live like this anymore. Why would he want to even find out, given that he loves me? He wouldn't. He has a sadistic streak, so he likes to deny me things I like so that I long for them even more for a while. He likes to see me eager, desperate to get it when he decides to give it. He likes to watch me tolerate discomfort for him. Playing with these ideas require a deep understanding of my needs and limits. He has to know where "desperate for you 🥺 " starts to fade and "That goblin in the back of my head is starting to worry I'm not valued" starts to enter my thoughts. Yes, I look to him to guide and lead, and he has a lot of power and control - but that comes with the ability to destroy and damage. There's nothing easy about ownership if you feel the weight of the responsibility you're carrying.

#it's also scary sometimes. #there's a lot of stuff i really need to know about you. #some of which is uncomfortable #some of which you may not know #plus managing a conversation where i think something is wrong and I need to push.

[aberrantabby]

Always happy to be a pervy internet lady.

Birthday fun

This game ends on Dec 3, 11:59 pm pacific.

So I decided (with a bit of inspiration from a few other similar things I’ve seen) to do a big fun birthday post. Notes = fun. I’m both excited and nervous to see how high this post gets.

For every reblog, I will wear clothespins on my nipples for 3 minutes (This will be done daily for the reblogs from the day before. This will include any reblogs I do.)

For every like, I will say out loud “I am a dumb slutty attention whore.” (This will be done as I see the likes)

For every comment (no spam), I will pinch both of my nipples. (This will be done as I see the comments. This will also include any comments I make in reply)

For every new follower, I will wear clothespins on my labia for 1 minute (This will be done daily for followers from the day before.)

For every ask, I will slap my face once

** For every new subscriber to my paid Onlyfans ( www.Onlyfans.com/hotpotatogirl), I will do 100 hits on my tits. I will probably use several different implements for this. If you want to have input into which implement I use for your subscription, message me there. (This will be done at the end of this event, potentially in more than one session depending on how many I get).

Also, if you are already an Onlyfans sub but still want to give me some hits, any tip of 10 dollars or more on either account will add 100 hits as well **

Lastly and newest addition: For each new subsscriber to my free Onlyfans from now till the end, I’ll add another 25 tit hits.

Goals:

100 notes: -Edge 5 times humping a stuffy

200 notes: -Fuck 3 random items from the apartment

250 notes: -4 hours in pain bra and panties

300 notes: -Spend an hour in my hood

350 notes: -only allowed to pee in the tub/shower for 24 hours

400 notes: -Beg Sir to cum in my face mask and wear it to the store

450 notes: -face slaps on both cheeks for every ask instead of just one cheek

500 notes: -Pour my piss over my head

550 notes: -Figging

600 notes: -Give myself 20 cunt slaps after the clothespins come off the next day after I achieve this

650 notes: -Cover myself as much as possible in humiliating body writing

700 notes: -Double the nipple pinches from now on

750 notes: -Spend 20 minutes gagged for the next 3 days

800 notes: -Clothespins all over my body

850 notes: -Spend 24 hours straight with a butt plug in

900 notes: -Tack bra for 24 hours straight

950 notes: -Will do the piss on head task outside

1000 notes: -Impact play dice chart 5 days in a row a couple rolls of the dice decide where and how much I get)

And the final stretch goal - if this gets 1111 notes by the end of the time limit, I’ll eat my dinner out of a bowl on the floor with no utensils like an animal.

I really hope I don’t regret this post…🙈 (I already kind of do. I think some of y’all are trying to speed run my birthday fun times, lol.

[aberrantabby]

So happy for both of you! 💜

Guess who's on a date right now and guess who's eating takeout at home?