idk why I've always had this stupid mantra of being dead by 37. I'm 26 rn and am just chugging along but I legit can't see anything for myself long term. the future is just something that'll happen regardless but that 37 number is comforting because that's the assumption of when I'll be killing myself. I doubt it holds any weight. I doubt I'd do it. but I don't like that I can't see anything past 37. subconsciously that's it. that's the arbitrary terminus for me. and I've been joking about it since I was 15.
Even if I didn’t have a solid plan, in the back of my head, I always assumed I’d kill myself.
Now I’m an adult and people my age have their lives in order and I’m stuck here, confused, because I never planned to be alive and I’m so far behind.
being on tumblr but not being part of superwholock is really great not because I'm not part of any drama but because I'll see stuff like this and I'll have no idea if this is in relation to something new that happened or something age old and it doesn't matter because I'm just riding the current as always and sometimes I'll ask a question here and there to a more well-versed neighbour but most times I'll piece the lore myself it's more fun that way I'm an explorer you see
to add on to my last post
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