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[alanangels]

[alanangels]

hi! can you write something about freddie and jim looking at some older photos and reminishing about the start of their relationship?

i love u, ur blog, and ur writing 💙

‘Reminiscing again, are we?’

Jim looks up from one of the many photo albums he’s been flicking through for the last hour, smiling and adjusting his glasses as Freddie walks into the room. ‘Sorry, love. Got a bit distracted while I was sorting through the boxes from the attic.’

Freddie takes a seat on his husband’s lap, leaning their heads together as he studies the album’s contents thoughtfully. ‘I hate looking at old photographs of myself. Makes me realise how old I’m getting.’

‘You’re still as gorgeous as you were back then, and you know it.’ Jim reaches up and runs his fingers through Freddie’s thin salt-and-pepper coloured hair. He isn’t just trying to placate him; Freddie truly is the most gorgeous creature he’s ever set his eyes upon, and as far as Jim’s concerned, he only grows more beautiful with age.

Freddie grumbles and snuggles into Jim’s shoulder, his fingertip lighting tracing over a small, grainy photograph of the pair of them standing on the front lawn outside the house. ‘That was the first time you visited Garden Lodge. I still remember how nervous I was that day.’

‘How do you think I felt?’ Jim chuckles. ‘I’d never seen such a magnificent place. I thought I was in over my head. I thought you were only keeping me around to make your boyfriend jealous.’

Freddie wets his lips, taking one of the buttons on Jim’s cardigan between his fingers and twisting it absent-mindedly. ‘I was in a really weird place then. I liked you – I really liked you. But there was still Winnie, and I didn’t…’ He sighs and lets go of the button, taking Jim’s hand instead. ‘I didn’t know what I wanted. I loved Winnie, but you could hardly call our relationship healthy; he spent most of his time at work and when he wasn’t working, we were at each other’s throats. Then I met you and…’

Jim gives his hand a squeeze. ‘You don’t have to explain, love. I know.’

But Freddie shakes his head. ‘I shouldn’t have treated you that way. You deserved better. I played stupid games and messed you around because I thought that’s how love worked. It was wrong and unfair.’

‘Yes, it was.’ Jim replies but he turns his head and brushes a gentle kiss against Freddie’s lips. ‘But you changed and learned from your mistakes, the same way I did after John broke up with me.’

‘That’s not the-’ Freddie begins but Jim puts a finger against his lips.

‘Enough, darling.’ He murmurs in that stern voice that always makes Freddie squirm. ‘You’re always saying that there’s no point dwelling on the past. We moved past that dent in our relationship and came out stronger because of it. And look where we are now.’

Freddie knows there isn’t any point in arguing. While Jim has always been the meeker of the two, he can be equally as stubborn. He turns the page to the next set of photographs, a smile finally making its way to his face when his eye falls upon a familiar snapshot. ‘Oh, darling, look! Our little Dorothy.’

‘I wish I could have brought her to London with me.’ He sighs, stroking the photograph as if he can still feel her soft fur. ‘But she was so settled in Munich, I thought moving might upset her.’

‘Plus, she hated other cats.’ Jim adds. ‘You made the right call, love. She’s much happier living with Barbara, where she’s the centre of attention.’

‘I suppose so. But I miss her.’

‘So do I.’ Jim gazes fondly at the little tabby nestled in his arms. ‘She was such a gentle little soul. Never had to worry about her claws.’

‘You’re a braver man than I am, holding a cat without a shirt.’ Freddie laughs heartily. ‘Not that I’m complaining. It’s a lovely view.’

‘Behave!’ Jim pretends to swat him as he turns the page.

‘Ah, Japan.’ Freddie leans his head against Jim’s, remembering what had to have been the most romantic three weeks of his life. ‘I’ve always thought of that holiday as our honeymoon of sorts.’

‘Me too. It was the most amazing trip I’ve ever been on. Do you remember when you decided to pour an entire bottle of rice wine into our bath, and we ended up getting drunk off our tits?’

‘I blame Misa entirely. She should have told me you’re only supposed to add one cup of sake. But that was nothing compared to you almost dying from food poisoning after we visited that chicken restaurant.’

Jim covers his face and groans. ‘Oh God, don’t remind me. I was in so much pain, I swore I’d become a vegetarian if I survived the ordeal.’

‘Luckily for you, your husband is an amazing nurse!’

‘I think this is my favourite one.’ Freddie can still remember how Jim’s bicep felt beneath his hand and the memory makes his stomach flutter. ‘I was so fucking smitten with you, darling. I just wanted you to wrap your big arms around me and pin me to the-’

‘Not in front of the children!’ Jim sniggers, as Lily rubs herself against his ankle. ‘This is my favourite too. You know you have the most beautiful smile in the world, right?’

Freddie’s face falls. ‘Oh darling, it’s hideous. I look like a donkey!’

‘We’ll have none of that talk here. Nobody badmouths my husband – not even my husband!’

Freddie rolls his eyes but can’t help giggling like an idiot at Jim’s humour. When he looks at the photograph again, his teeth don’t look quite as bad as he originally thought.

‘Almost at the end.’ Jim turns to the next page, but almost immediately wishes he hadn’t. A lump grows in his throat the size of a tennis ball, and he feels tears on his lashes. He quickly removes his glasses and rubs his eyes with the back of his hand, hoping Freddie can’t see.

Freddie’s breath hitches in his throat. He’s never seen this photograph before, but he knows what it is. It was taken during what he had believed were to be the final days of his life. Jim had been out snapping pictures of the flowers in the garden when Freddie spontaneously decided to pose for the camera, along with Oscar, who had wandered over from the neighbour’s for a visit.

It makes Jim’s heart wrench to see his man so thin and pale, his face gaunt as he was slowly consumed by that horrific disease. His survival had been nothing short of a miracle, thanks to a sudden breakthrough in the medical world. Now, years later, Freddie is the picture of health again. But remembering such a close brush with death is still painful for them both.

Freddie can see the tears threatening to spill from Jim’s eyes and carefully takes the Irishman’s face in his hands, pressing their foreheads together. ‘I’m still here, darling. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere, okay?’

Jim nods, a tiny droplet of water sliding down his cheek, quickly caught by Freddie’s thumb. Silence falls over the room, the only sound to be heard being that of Lily’s gentle purring.

Freddie leans down and presses their lips together, the kiss soft and sweet. ‘I love you.’

Another tear trickles down Jim’s cheek to his jaw, which Freddie wipes away again. ‘I love you too, sweetheart. So much.’

There’s a soft meow, as Lily paws at the armchair, not wanting to be left out. Jim laughs and carefully sets the photo album aside, lifting the little cat to place her on his lap. As difficult as it can be re-living the past, it only makes him more grateful for what he has now. He pulls Freddie down for another kiss, not wanting to take a single minute for granted.

--

I got a bit carried away again. I hope you like it! Thank you so much for your support, I’m so glad you enjoy my writing! 💜

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