almondkatsuki

[almondkatsuki]

𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: best friend Han Jisung x fem reader

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: there's a thunderstorm outside and you don't have an umbrella. luck wants that you're near you best friend's apartment complex and you decide to wait for the rain to stop and your clothes to dry while watching a movie with him... but things escalate after the tension between you two finally snaps.

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff, smut, friends to lovers

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: play-fighting, swearing, soft dom Jisung, oral (f receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, no protection (boo-hoo), multiple orgasms, creampie, messy making out, hint of slight choking, dry humping, tiny bit of possessiveness, praise, dirty talk, slight manhandling, overstimulation, spitting.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4.8K

I don't know if anyone can tell but I'm actually in love with this man

The sound of the doorbell ringing resonated in your ears, feeling already relaxed by the familiar pattern of the short melody. The veins of the wooden door too, you knew them by heart, and istantly felt less tense by looking at them: you were soaked from head to toe and were feeling kind of dumb standing by his apartment in your state, cold and shaking, but you knew you'd be welcomed and he would take care of you no matter what. You heard hurrying footsteps approaching the entrance and in a second the shining smile of your best friend appeared in front of you, just to drop one second after.

"Oh my god baby, are you okay?"

Baby, he always called you that but every single time your belly tingled as if it was the first. Was it necessary? Not really, but you didn't want to stop him from saying that. It was so sweet and intimate and you enjoyed it when your cheeks would start to feel warm because of the petname (a bit too much maybe).

He gently wrapped his hand around your arm and pulled you inside his apartment, leaving you at the entrance for a second, running away just to come back with a towel.

"Were you outside? Didn't you bring an umbrella? Aaah you're so dumb sometimes..." he didn't even wait for your reply, he just threw the cloth over your head and started rubbing it gently to dry your hair just a little bit.

"I was doing some errands around here and I decided to walk instead of taking the bus, but it suddenly started raining like, heavily, and I wasn't able to search for a place to run into... so I just accepted my destiny and took a stroll until I came here" you sighed, dramatically taking a hand to your forehead and closing your eyes, not really able to hide the growing smile on your face when you heard him chukle and gently caress your face to take away the remaining droplets of water. He lowered down until his eyes met yours, then he tilted his head to the side as his gaze softened.

"You dummy... hope you didn't catch a cold or I'll be the one that will have to take care of you y'know!?" he started to take off your jacket, his hands lingering on your arms with his soft touch, then putting aside your shoes before placing the same towel on the floor for you to step on it. "Now, go take a shower and I'll search for something to give you while I wash your stuff, okay baby?"

At your nod he went ahead and with his finger he gestured you to follow him through your giggles, while the warmth in your belly started spreading even more hot than before. He made you feel so loved and special, always a priority, and you cherished little moments like these, it filled your heart with joy being in his presence... and for him it was the same, you both knew.

"Leave your clothes outside the door angel, I'll pick them up later" he said, before giving you a kiss on your forehead and handing you what he chose for you to wear.

"I'll wait in my bedroom with a movie ready to watch～" a wink and he turned around, his shoulders seeming a little more broad and muscular... did he start to go to the gym again? The terrible heating of your face crept under your skin again by the thought of him doing his excercise routine. You saw him once when you tried to do it together, all sweaty and panting and eyes half closed, that time you nearly planted your face on the cute light blue-flowery-patterned mat he gifted you with lewd thoughts racing in your head during your thirty seconds plank.

The question accompanied you in the shower anyway, where you couldn't really think about anything else but how much love you felt for him and how you were desperate for him to know already.

All your friends encouraged you to get together but you never understood if Jisung's reaction was positive or negative whenever they teased you two.

And you knew you've always loved him, you became his friend just to get close to him after all, but things escalated and you were never really able to escape the situation and just confess, so you kind of went along with it until you decided not to risk ruining everything.

Because you had something really special going on, connected on a deep level. It was like you two had your own little world, where you were comfortable and safe in each other's presence.

Your thoughts went by as you finished showering, finally putting on his clothes, heart reacing when you saw your reflection on the big mirror in his bathroom. Hair still wet falling flat on your head you quetly stepped into his room in the dim light, the screen of his laptop flashing his face with different colors as he was still searching for the right movie to watch.

Jisung saw you with the corner of his eye, so he lifted his gaze not really expecting the sight that was waiting for him.

If only you knew how excited he was while searching in his wardrobe for some of his clothes for you. It wasn't the first time, no, but it always made him feel giddy and soft.

This time though, he couldn't predict that familiar and quite scandalous sensation in his lower abdomen to appear.

Jisung hated himself in these situations. You were there, looking perfect, innocent, angelic, and he was only looking at the quite accentuated tug of your nipples through your favorite shirt of his; how your sexy curves were hidden by the oversized article of clothing leaving his immagination wilding, how his damn boxers weren't even visible on you so your legs appeared naked in front of him, his brain much more quicker than his sense of shame and imagining how would it be if you weren't wearing anything at all under there.

He was already about to explode when he picked up your cute panties and bra to wash. His favorite color, little lace details decorating them, so simple yet so tempting he had to palm himself to find some relief. But now...

"Sungie you okay?" suddenly you were beside him, kneeling on the bed and scooting closer to him, the cutted collar of the shirt hanging low due to the lazy movements you were making, exposing your collarbones. Jisung had to swallow and blink twice before processing everything that was happening.

"Oh, yeah, totally fine y/n. Come here..."

He lifted his toned arm and delicately took you closer, and without putting too much thought into it, you placed one leg over his lap, snuggling onto his chest that was heavily lifting and dropping all of a sudden.

"You look amazing with my clothes, you know that? So swag" he smiled, trying to concentrate elsewhere that wasn't the ache he felt whenever he accidentally let his fantasies about you take control of his thoughs. But how could he refrain himself when he got to see you get flustered like crazy? It was so satisfying, but frustrating at the same time because he didn't know if he would ever be able to go further with you, like he always wanted. He hated being your friend, because since day one he wanted to be a partner to you, and he lost his chance many times in the past so he also lost hope for something romantically serious between you two.

"Ji, nobody says 'swag' anymore... gosh you're so old" you rolled your eyes in fake annoyance, and he gasped, disdain showing on his face as his free hand took place on his chest, near his heart.

"I'm offended. Make it up to me now, immediately in this right moment or I'll make you regret it"

A challenging gaze was now plastered on his stupidly beautiful face, all the extra acting dissipating from him. Who were you to back up? But truth was that you absolutely couldn't say "no" to him nor fight him too much: it was just a matter of time before he would have you under his control, always, so you just didn't see a point in denying that anymore.

"What do you want?" your tone was firm, unamused as you straightened your back and faced him properly.

"You have to let me kiss your ugly face whenever I want for the rest of the night"

You squeezed your eyes shut just to open them again and see him with a serious expression.

"It's only fair" he adjusted an immaginary pair of glasses on the bridge of his nose and puckered his lips while his brows raised, gaining a light slap on his chest from you while you started laughing.

You loved this about him, how he could make you smile and feel good effortlessly.

"Alright... everything for you Jisung"

Your voice was soft now, and despite the fun atmosphere your words were very serious. Jisung didn't stop looking into your eyes, not even for a second while your lips moved and pronounced his name that way. Only you did this to him. He couldn't help but imagine how you would sound if he made you feel good, use his tongue on you, his fingers and more...

You on your part were now feeling the weight of his arm wrapped around you and his hand hanging loosely over your shoulder, his fingers brushing the skin of your neck, goosebumps raising from your back.

Jisung finally detached from your stare and returned his attention to the screen positioned in front of him. "I thought this movie would be alright. I'm not sure about it but while I was looking for other things it kept popping up so I guess it's a sign. You okay with this?"

He was always so considerate of your opinion, on everything, and that made you feel heard and validated. So sweet, so rare of someone to be so fond of what you think.

"Mhmh" you nodded, leaning your head on his chest as he pressed 'play'.

The movie wasn't that interesting, not that one of you cared though. You and Jisung were teasing and annoying each other while the dialogues and the music (lowered few minutes before) served just as a background noise. Much louder was the sound of the rain and the thunders outside, and you smiled remembering yourself few hours before, all alone walking in the rain.

But now you were in the arms of a person you adored, all cozy and comfy with your heart fluttering nonstop while he stroked your bare thighs, scratching them lightly with his colored nails. It was you that painted them, chose the nail polish, did the design... it was during one of your nights together the week prior.

You came back to reality when Jisung started leaving few pecks on your right cheek, that trailed down your jaw making his lips snap loudly, almost abnoxiously against your skin.

"What are you... doing?"

You tried to shove his head off of you but he didn't even want to consider stopping.

"I thought we had an agreement? Are you that type of person that doesn't respect agreements? Nah that's not possible, you're a good girl... am just cuddling after all, hm?" he purred with his lower voice, a hint of a sly smirk appearing on his lips, you could feel it when he brushed them over your sensitive spot again and again. You knew he was in a playful mood, it happened quite often, but you were fearing for your little whimpers to slip and accidentally be heard.

"Ji... Ji it tickles stop..."

His hands moved and he was now menacing to place them on your sides. You thought he finally ceased with his intententions, but when you let your guard down Jisung started to move his slender fingers all together and felt your muscles tighten beneath his hold. Oh, oh it was sexy.

With a bit more force he moved your leg with his, flipping you on your back so he was on top of you free to access whatever part of your body he felt like would be a vulnerable spot.

The pc was long forgotten on the edge of the bed about to fall, but the only important thing in that moment was the battle for your survival.

Laughter filled the room while you tried to kick him with your feet, to grab a pillow and throw it on his face, to plea him to give you a chance to fight back.

He was enjoying himself, a lot. Your contorted expression made his chest tighten, as well as his sweatpants even if he felt like a total pervert.

"Sungie ple-please s-top! Can't-" you didn't even have enaugh strenght to form a full sentence, the feeling of his touch all over you being too intense and exciting. Were you being inappropriate? Probably. But you really loved having him all over you.

"Have- have mercy!"

Jisung's hands stopped their movements and rested on your sides, with his fingers caressing your skin, the same fingers that slipped under your shirt the moment the situation became chaotic.

Your legs were caging his middle, bringing his hips closer to yours. You both weren't sure about how you ended up in such position but you weren't complaining either. His cheeks tinted with a shade of dark red at the realization of the hardest erection he's ever had brushing your groin. It was impossible you weren't feeling it, and, after a few seconds, as he expected, your eyes widened and looked directly at him with the istictive action of your teeth catching your lower lip.

"I'm... I'm sorry y/n you know sometimes it's random andー" the fake excuses he wanted to give died in his throat when you moved against him. It was delicate but the faint friction of your barely clothed cunt against his bulge made his breath hitch.

"Baby please don't... I'll just get off and we'll keep watching the movie" but you moved again, this time firmer, a bit more confident; the wet spot on his boxers that you were wearing was by now too evident to hide. He too, was starting to leak from the tip, staining his grey sweatpants.

Jisung abruptdly got off of you, chest struggling to follow his breath.

"What are you doing, baby?" his voice was now trembling, eyes scanning your whole body searching for any sign of discomfort.

"Sungie... Sungie please forgive me I don't know whyー"

"Do you want to keep going?" it was him that interrupted you this time. Not a word was dared to be spoken for a few seconds, only leading sound the one coming from the movie, that seemed so distant in your ears. Fear, terror went through his whole body when he realized what he actually said, all blood gone somewhere else that wasn't his brain.

"I do" you nodded, doe eyes looking up at him, that was coming back closer to you.

Jisung stared at you for what seemed like an eternity, all while slowly closing the distance between your bodies.

"Are you sure? I mean you want to... me and you?" almost whispering, he looked at you so intensely you could've fainted.

You nodded, slowly, unsure where to look since his gorgeous, handsome face was mere centimeters away.

"Can I kiss you?"

So close you didn't even register him moving and colliding his lips with yours after your whispered "yes".

Immediately what were a few pecks became open wide kisses, that let your tongues explore. Jisung lifted your shirt enaugh to expose your breasts, hands flying to feel them, squeeze, roll your nipples between his fingers; you gasped at his sudden decision, letting him kiss you deeply, starting to suck your tongue. It was becoming so messy and sloppy, but it wasn't enaugh dirty to him.

"Open your mouth, open" one hand grabbing your face, thumb parting your lips and resting on top of your tongue. You saw him purse his lips a few times, just to harshly spit in your mouth soon after.

"Swallow it angel" he said, softly, and so you did, before starting to suck on his finger eagerly, making him groan and deliver an harsher thrust up your groin. Jisung resumed the kissing, still spitting every now and then, making a mess all around your lips that he was biting from time to time.

You too were grinding on him, using his hard on to relieve the suffucating feeling in your core, roughly pressing yourself against him, making him stay attached to you by closing your fists around the fabric of his shirt. Soon he removed it, too hot and sweaty to be comfortable in such situation, the only way to keep him closer being scratching his back while trying to grab his muscles.

When he pushed you away from him down on the matress confusion took place in your face, but before you could question him Jisung was already flat on top of the covers, head between your thighs, delicately removing those useless boxers by sliding them down your legs. Seductive was the right word to describe his behaviour: seductive in the way he caressed every inch of your skin with his fingers, seductive how he discarded the piece of fabric on the floor carelessly, seductively staring at you, always, every second of it. And Jisung sighed, he felt relieved when he finally saw your cunt, so pretty and glistening for him. You almost blushed at his reaction, at his whispered curses and praises.

He was teasing you, and he was teasing himself too since all he wanted in that moment was to take you. You were wet enaugh, he could've stretched you with his cock, but he waited too long for it to be just that, just sex.

"Jisung..." your voice angelic to his ears, he closed his eyes for a moment to concentrate and engrave it in his mind forever. It wasn't like the many other times you said his name, this one was special, so special he was almost afraid to forget it.

"Say it again baby. Say my name again..."

"Jisung, Jisung, Jisung..." your faint smile with your half lidded eyes made his cheeks flush. You were truly the most beautiful thing in his life.

Your hand reached the top of his head, going lower to rest on his cheek, stroking it, just to receive a kiss on your palm.

"We're still in time if you want to stop"

"You spat in my mouth and you're practically breathing against my pussy, Sungie, I don't think I want to go back" you chuckled, making him follow you. Even in a moment like that, you two managed to laugh. And it was so special, to see his genuine smile like that, that reflected in his eyes as well.

Without further doubt, he took his nose to brush your inner thigh, leaving a trail of kisses that led him to leave a testing lick on your sex, tongue flat touching everything at the same time. The hand that was back on his hair grabbed a few strands, making him hiss from the pleasurable pain. His arms locked your legs up his shoulders, dragging you closer until no space was left between you two.

"Taste so good baby, so sweet" you hear him mumble down there, starting to drag his tongue along your folds, parting them, finding your clit and kissing it gently. You started to squeeze his head, timidly grinding against his tongue but failing because of the restrained limbs.

Jisung started lapping your juices as if it was the only thing able to keep him alive, all while humping his bed desperately. It felt so good, he didn't even care if he was struggling to breathe, but it was becoming harder to move so he parted your legs further pressing them down. Jisung lifted his gaze, detaching from your cunt only to give you an order, after literally drooling over it.

"Don't move angel. Be good and stay still"

He made you so flustered, he made you chew your lower lip from embarassment, he made you cover your face, always, but in that precise moment it was as if every word of his set you on fire. And with that, he returned to his ministrations, two fingers magically appearing to play with your hole, prodding at it, teasingly making an in-and-out motion just with the very tip. A torture, he was torturing you. You already felt so close.

"Sungie please..."

Jisung smirked without ever leaving your pussy; he started to flick your clit from every direction, circling it, sucking like he would've done with a lollipop, while he started to insert his fingers properly. They went in easily, curling them aroud to find your sweet spot. He had to restrain himself from moving or he would've come, imagining how your insides would feel around his cock in a few moments.

Once found (he could understand that from the pornographic moan you let out), Jisung kept hitting on that delicious place pumping his digits without stopping even after your desperate pleading to slow down. Slow down for what? He was loving every second of it, the wet sounds echoing in the room covering the ones of the voices behind the screen of the movie still playing.

He was making you feel like you had never felt before, all of your senses conducing to him and whatever he was doing to you. You suddenly started to see stars, throwing your head back, whines and moans constricting your lungs.

"Let go baby, make a mess, cum f'me" voice muffled and low as your legs came back around his head, making him whine. Jisung loved the way you were reacting, moving and writhing everywhere, feeling so proud in the way he was pleasuring you by slurpling everything you gave him.

"Oh shit, Sungieー fuck Jisung!" a particular snap of his fingers, that hard suck, his moans vibrating inside of you, his eyes fixated on yours... you couldn't take it anymore, letting go of all the tension and letting your body fall even if you didn't know you were lifting yourself high up, tugging his hair impossibly tight. You clenched hard around his fingers forcing him to let them stay still pressing firmly, increasing the pleasure.

Jisung stayed there for a moment licking you clean to not waste a drop of your cum, almost sending you into overstimulation making your clit sting; he kissed it again one last time before freeing himself from your hold, quickly checking if he came too without noticing due to the heated moment. It was possible, since he was feeling as good as you.

And you still wanted more. You had one of the hardest orgasms of your entire life and you wanted him again.

"Want you inside..." you managed to blurt out, your hands trying to reach his figure.

"Yeah baby? Want me? Wait a second, I'll go grab aー"

"No... no need, 's okay" you pouted at the idea of having him far away from you even for a second, not wanting to let him go. Jisung though, felt his still restrained cock spurt a little at your words, cold sweat running down his back.

"Come inside Ji, want your cum!" you added, voicing the fantasies you happened to touch yourself to before all that.

His stare, intense and penetrating was making you tear up from anticipation. It was as if you awakened something in him, pupils darkening while lowering his pants and underwear all together. When they reached down enaugh his dick beautifully slapped against his groin, tip red and abused by the restricting fabric.

Jisung smirked to himself and got embarassed at the same time, taking silent notes on how your jaw faintly dropped, your eyes got wider... on how you didn't stop looking at his length even when he was directly in front of you, softly stroking it near your pussy. He too, couldn't stop looking at your body, shirt still crumpled up under your chin that he carefully provided to free you from. So cute under him, vulnerable and helpless, he wanted to protect you from every bad thing in the world.

He aligned himself to your entrance teasingly even if you were still sensitive, getting on top and propping himself up to not crush you.

Jisung kissed your forehead, making you smile widely. He then kissed your nose, both your cheeks, and lastly your lips, slowly, savoring every second of that sparkling sensation only you two could make.

"Mine. You're gonna be mine" he whispered against your kiss, starting to move forward.

Just the tip was larger than his two fingers, the new stretch making you whine and search for his eyes. Brows furrowed in concentration, he noticed your request of ressurance and patted your head, combing your hair.

"You're doing amazing baby," he got a bit further, continuing to kiss your face: "I know you can take it all, you're my good girl"

He quickly bottomed out as you gasped, the trimmed hair on his pube sticking to you. You couldn't stop whining while touching him all over, tracing your hands on his chest, back, arms, not knowing where to rest them. You lastly opted for clutching them around his neck pulling him against you, still hard nipples grazing his chest making him moan.

You were his weakness, he didn't know how he could last that long. Your touch made him go crazy, it had always been that way, so he got surprised by himself. Maybe it was the thought of making you feel good for as long as possible, maybe the desire of not wanting to waste such opportunity so easily... but he was starting to surrender to pleasure. Jisung wanted you to be the star of the night, but your words, the sounds you were making for him, your walls tightening around his dick, your neediness, everything was screaming to him that in reality he wasn't a strong man, not in that sense.

He started to focus a little bit more on his pleasure, getting lost in the feeling of your velvety walls sucking him in everytime he pulled back. It didn't help that whenever he reached the limit of his length, he touched yours too, kissing your cervix gently. Jisung was making love to you in a way that made you feel wanted, appreciated, taken care of, and you could never have enaugh of it with that rithm.

You both started to meet each other halfway his thrusts that were becoming progressively more fast, squelching sounds making your face become impossibly hot and his lips curve upwards. His brows were still knitted together when he silently brought one hand around your neck and the other resting on one of your tits. His thrusts got sloppier, losing their precision; you could feel your breath hitch, his hold being gentle but still tightening and releasing fast enaugh to let your high pitched moans out. Jisung started to snap his hips against you, his own whines and grunts accompanying yours.

You both were getting closer, desperately chasing your highs as if you never had one before.

"I'm close Ji!" you said with all the strenght you had in your body, gathering enaugh coscience to let out that phrase.

"Gonna cum together yeah baby? Yeah? Want me to make you mine?" he asked between sharp thrusts, rolling his eyes when he could catch a glimpse of you nodding.

Few other thrusts, a feverish kiss and a mutual whispered "I love you" was enaugh to make your vision blank: muscles contracting for who knows how long, his cum filling you to the brim, strangled moans dying in your throat.

Jisung stayed inside of you until he was soft, not daring to move or alter in any way that sacred moment. You two shared a tender kiss before he rolled on his side, but holding you so that you could get on top of him, still connected.

The ending credits of the movie started to roll, quiet music guiding his strokes on your lower back. You slowly started to calm your panting, comfortably leaning on his pecs, listening to his steading heartbeat.

"So... are we, like, together now?"

You looked up at him without moving and sighed.

"I don't know, not sure..." your joke wasn't that effective, since you couldn't hide the shy smile forming on your lips.

"Not sure she says, while being full of my cum"

"Jisung!!" a slap was landed on his bicep in opposition to his laughter, that you too were holding in.

"I love you baby"

"I love you too, baby"

The storm outside stopped, leaving you two in a comforting silence, in which you celebrated and accepted your blosoming love.

[almondkatsuki]

Not sure if your requests are open but could you do stray kids forgetting a date they had with (r) ? And maybe the aftermath of it? Thank you smm if you plan on doing this, I just really enjoy the way you right your angst.

- 🦴anon

🕸 umm... life 🕸

synopsis. when skz forgetting the date they had w you and the aftermath

pairing. bf!skz x reader genre. angst and fluff

a/n. Thank you so much for the request!!! I hope you like it and i am so glad that you like the way I write angst, means a lot to me ♡︎ love you 🦴 anon !! 🩷 english is not my first language so apologies for any misspellings or grammar. let me know if you'd like to be tagged !! YEAH AND SORRY FOR NOT POSTING!! I'LL BE BACK WITH MORE POSTS THESE DAYS LOVE UUU

✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ BANGCHAN

Chris was very focused on working on a new track. He wanted it to be perfect, and since he's someone who always finds flaws in things, he couldn't leave his studio until the new melody was flawless. Therefore, he wasn't even paying attention to his phone; he had it on silent just to finish that damn song. He didn't stop until he got frustrated because things weren't going as he wanted. So, he took a break to clear his mind and relax a bit. He picked up his phone and saw a ton of messages from you. It wasn't strange since you used to tell him everything, which he found adorable. However, he was surprised when he saw the messages you had sent him. Had he forgotten your date? No, that couldn't be true. He had it marked on his calendar, and he was genuinely looking forward to that day. He wanted to spend time with you; he missed you so much. He had messed up and needed to fix this urgently. He hadn't done it on purpose; he felt so guilty.

He quickly arrived at the apartment where you lived. He saw the food in the kitchen, and his heart sank. He barely realized how you must have felt sitting there alone in the middle of the night, waiting for him, excited to be only disappointed by him. The worst part was when he heard sobs coming from your room. You were crying because of him, because of his stupidity, and because of being a bad boyfriend.

He hurried to your room, making as little noise as possible. You were already lying in your bed, covered with your blanket up to your head. As soon as you felt your bed sink, something in you hoped it was Chris. When you heard his voice, you felt relieved but angry at the same time. You uncovered yourself and looked at your boyfriend with teary eyes, an action that hurt him even more. He didn't give you time to confront him; he already had you wrapped in his arms. All you could do was cry while holding him tightly.

"You're a fool, Chris," you said between sobs.

"I know, sweetheart, forgive me," he said, stroking your hair while still hugging you.

"I was so focused on my work that I never heard my phone, but I want you to know that my work will never be more important than you. You are my priority, beautiful."

"Do you promise it won't happen again?"

"It will never happen again, darling. Let's rest, okay? Tomorrow we'll have a lovely date. Sleep now, I love you."

✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ MINHO

He didn't know how much it hurt. Months without being able to go on a date with him. You didn't ask for much, not even for it to be a date outside the house. Just spending time together was enough for you. You just wanted to be with your boyfriend.

Minho hadn't even realized that you had sent him so many messages. He was trying to add new steps to the new choreography; the comeback was approaching, and he felt desperate to finish everything. He just wanted to rest.

It got really late; he was leaving the company around 1:30 am. When he reached the parking lot, the first thing he did was check his phone for any message from you. To his surprise, he had hundreds of messages from you, and the most concerning part was that the recent ones expressed disappointment towards him. What had he done wrong?

Slowly, he read each one and realized that you had a planned date today. He had completely forgotten, and he felt horrible. It had been months since you could go out or have a nice date. He put his phone aside and headed to his apartment. He needed to fix things with you; he knew you had been looking forward to this day for a long time.

As soon as he arrived at his apartment, he searched for you everywhere but couldn't find you. That made him even more nervous. He felt like he had lost you. However, he heard a sound coming from the bathroom—it was you, coming out after showering. At that moment, he breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe he had messed things up, but at least you were still there.

You were frozen; you didn't expect Minho to come home so late. You stayed up late because you couldn't sleep due to anger and disappointment. So, you decided to take a shower to release all those consuming emotions. Lost in your thoughts, you felt someone wrapping their arms around you. You wanted Minho to let go, but deep down, you needed a hug. In whispers, you heard explanations from your boyfriend about how the stress of the comeback was consuming him, and he spent a lot of time at the company, even though he wished all that time was invested in you.

"Forgive me, please. I completely forgot that we were supposed to go out today. I'm really sorry that you felt that way, sweetie. It wasn't my intention to hurt you. Tomorrow we can go out; I'll stay home. But please, forgive me." You just nodded and gave him a small kiss.

"I love you, Minho."

"I love you too."

✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ CHANGBIN

You were sitting in your chair, waiting for Changbin to show up. You weren't even angry; just sad because you had planned this outing so much. You were worried because he wasn't answering your messages. You knew he had a busy job, spending most of his time in the studio producing with his friends. But you were hoping for the day when you could spend the entire day together, despite both of your stress and worries.

As it got later, you felt more tired. Without hope, you went to your room to change and remove your makeup. Today, you looked and felt beautiful, but it seemed like all that effort had gone to waste. You sat at your vanity, looked at yourself in the mirror, saw how tired you were, and started crying. Your relationship was wearing you down in a way you couldn't describe, but you wanted to stay because he made you happy. Changbin rarely failed in your relationship. Honestly, at the beginning, you expected something worse, but no, Changbin was the perfect boyfriend. The only complicated thing was his work, but you knew it was his dream, so you felt happy for him. You turned back to the mirror, saw tears, didn't even realize you were crying, which made you cry even more. You really missed your boyfriend, but things were getting more complicated. You just kept sitting there, crying in front of the mirror, waiting for your tears to stop.

Moments later, when you were calmer, you heard gentle knocks on your room door, followed by Changbin's voice asking for permission to enter. Something inside you didn't want to see him; you felt and looked horrible.

"Can I come in, princess?" "Not now, Changbin, I need time," your voice sounded rushed, trying to remove your makeup as best as you could, mascara running like never before. "Please, princess, I need to talk to you," the man sounded desperate. "Just give me a few minutes, please." Saying that, you went to your bathroom, washed your face, and once clean, you ran to open the door. Your surprised boyfriend could only put his head on your shoulder; he exuded such a sad vibe.

"Forgive me, please. Time flew by, and I never realized we were going out today. I didn't even hear your messages. I'm really sorry, princess," Changbin was on the verge of tears, genuinely repentant.

"I know, Binnie, it's okay, don't worry," you said while stroking his head.

"It's not okay, princess. You are my everything, and today, I failed you. Forgive me, please. It will never happen again," he said between sobs. You couldn't believe he was crying.

"Love, I know how difficult your job can be. You have to do many things, and it's okay. I understand, and I trust you not to let it happen again. I love you," you said while hugging him tightly.

"I love you too, and sorry again."

✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ HYUNJIN

You were angry, not even sad, just angry. You had been wanting to see your boyfriend for a while, and as soon as he told you he had some free time, you planned many things to spend time with him. You even prepared many things for him, cooked various dishes, bought a little gift, and even tried to paint something for him. It turned out beautiful, but your boyfriend never showed up to see your little gifts.

You were on your way home when you felt someone approaching you. It made you nervous because it was already dark, and someone approaching wasn't a good sign. You started walking faster, but you heard the footsteps of the other person accelerating too. You didn't want to start running because if you weren't fast enough, things would end badly. Besides, you were carrying the things you had taken to the place where you were going to meet Hyun. All you were praying for was to reach a street where there were more people to lose that person. However, your wish couldn't be fulfilled, and you felt the person following you grab you by the shoulders. You almost fainted right there, but upon hearing the person's voice, your soul returned to your body.

"Why are you walking so fast, my goodness," said Minho, trying to regulate his breath.

"Oh my god, Minho! I almost had a heart attack. I thought I was about to be kidnapped. I swear I won't survive the night," you said, speaking very fast. Your voice didn't even have an annoyed tone; you could only hear relief.

"I called you several times, but you never paid attention. You were in your own world. What did you want me to do?" he complained.

"Well, your friend, the idiot, stood me up and never replied to your messages," you complained with an annoyed tone.

"I know, that's why I came. Honestly, it wasn't his intention. As soon as he saw the messages, he tried to run out, but the idiot tripped and sprained his ankle," Minho explained.

"Oh my god, but is he okay?" you asked worried.

"Crying but yes, he's okay. If I were you, I'd go to the company to see him because otherwise, it's going to end up being a disaster," a sigh was all that came out of you, nodding your head. You accompanied Minho back to the company.

As soon as Hyunjin saw you, he started crying more, feeling guilty. But all you did was approach him, hug him, and tell him not to worry right now. First, his health was important, and then you could talk.

"Don't worry right now, Hyunnie. First, get better, okay? I love you, everything is fine," you gave him a little kiss on the head.

"Forgive me, I love you. I swear when I recover, I'll take you on a very nice date. I promise."

✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ JISUNG

Angry, frustrated, sad, humiliated— you felt like a sea of emotions. You told him how you felt, but you didn't know if it had been the best choice, or the right words, or the right moment. Maybe he was just too busy? But still, it didn't give him the right to stand you up. It wasn't the first time; if the times you went on dates were few, the times he actually made it to the dates were even fewer.

You felt tired, abandoned even. You hardly had the chance to see your boyfriend, and you knew his life was complicated. But there was always the need, the desire to spend time with him, to love him like the first time, to be loved.

Now that you had arrived home, you didn't know what to do. It was like reality had punched you. You realized you had said things that could be misinterpreted. Perhaps the last message would seem like you wanted to break up when that wasn't really the case. The words you said were spoken without much thought; you were just venting, but it wasn't the best. You were shattered. You couldn't even move from the entrance; you were crying oceans, clinging to the door. You didn't want to move; your head hurt, and you couldn't even breathe properly. At this point, you were hyperventilating. Meanwhile, your boyfriend was rushing to your apartment to find you. He didn't want things to end between you two; he loved you and was willing to make a great sacrifice for you.

He arrived in less than 10 minutes, even though your apartment was 15 minutes away. He knocked on the door with desperation, which snapped you out of your trance. However, you couldn't move; everything hurt. As you didn't answer, he became even more worried. He entered the code to the entrance and found you on the floor, in pain, struggling to breathe. He took you in his arms and tried to calm you down. After a long time, you were much calmer, just looking at your boyfriend with teary eyes.

"I don't want to break up with you. I'm sorry, Hannie," you whispered.

"Nor do I want to, my love. Please let me take care of you. I promise that from now on, I'll always be there for you. My work will never come before you. You are my priority. Forgive me, let me fix things. I love you. I'm sorry," he pleaded.

"I forgive you, my love. I love you too. Let's go back to how we were before."

✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ FELIX

You were already asleep in the room you shared with Felix. A few hours ago, you were supposed to have your wonderful date. Unfortunately, that didn't happen because your boyfriend was probably busy. Yes, you were angry, but more than that, you were disappointed and sad. You used to be a sensitive person, so these kinds of actions hurt your feelings a lot. Let's say you had to cry yourself dry to fall asleep.

Felix was on his way home, very nervous and disappointed in himself. He had forgotten about the date you were supposed to have, one of the few times you could have time for just the two of you. He suspected that you were either devastated or asleep because you weren't answering his calls or messages. They even said your phone was on silent. When he got home, he looked for you in the kitchen. He saw your dishes neatly washed, while his were still on the table. The table was decorated with flowers and a few candles. You even bought a pink wine for the occasion. He had really messed up this time.

In panic, he went to look for you in the room, praying that you were there. And yes, he saw your small figure hidden under the sheets. That made his heart squeeze tightly. Had he really hurt you? He knew you were a very sensitive person, like a porcelain doll. He had to handle you with care, and that was his favorite part—taking care of you. You were his everything. How had he been failing you so much lately? He wanted to cry right there. He wanted to leave his busy life to give all his attention to you. Slowly, he approached you and sat on the side of your bed where only your hand hung. He took it gently and caressed it. He gave you a small kiss while whispering how sorry he was, how much he felt for hurting you, for failing you. He didn't realize you had woken up, only hearing the sweet and sincere words he was dedicating to you.

You got concerned when you felt your hand wet, a sign that he was already crying. Carefully, you moved and, in a slow motion, sat on the floor with him, face to face. You took his face gently in your hands and gave him many kisses, tickling him, which made him smile.

"It's okay, Felix. I already told you that I understand that your life is difficult."

"But even if it is, that doesn't mean I can fail you. It hurts to admit that I completely forgot that we were supposed to have a date today. I know how hard you try to do things for both of us. Please, forgive me. I want to give my all for this relationship, angel. I want things to be like before when we were both so happy."

"I want that too, Lix. I forgive you, okay? For now, let's have dinner together. I left your plate on the table, but I guess the food is already cold." You got up slowly and then extended your hand towards your boyfriend.

"Thank you, beautiful. I love you more than you can imagine. Things will get better, I promise." He gave you a kiss on the cheek as you both headed to the kitchen.

✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ SEUNGMIN

You were clearly hurt, unsure how to react to what happened. Seungmin had stood you up at a restaurant, and now you had to pay for an inexpensively expensive bottle of champagne and a meal you didn't even bother to eat. Walking back home with your heels in one hand and a broken heart in the other, you didn't want to return to your shared apartment with Seungmin. But your feet and head ached, you were tired, so you stopped at a bus stop to rest for a while. You felt your eyes getting heavy, very sleepy, but you knew it wouldn't be a good idea to fall asleep on the street. It was dangerous, and you didn't want anything bad to happen. So, you called one of your friends to pick you up.

You patiently waited for your friend, and when they arrived, Seungmin called. You didn't really feel like answering, but you did it anyway.

"Where are you?" At that moment, your friend arrived in their car, so you quickly got in because you didn't want to make them wait.

"On my way home, I guess." You weren't sure if you wanted to go home, but it was the most likely option.

"What do you mean 'I guess'? Don't you want to go home?" He asked with a concerned tone.

"It's not that, Seungmin. Just a friend picked me up, and I wanted to spend some time with him. Yes, I'll go home, okay?" A somewhat annoyed tone came from your voice. You didn't want to sound like that, but you were very tired and just wanted to rest. Your friend turned to look at you, worried. You just signaled to them that everything was okay.

"Do you know what time you'll be home?" he asked worriedly.

"To be honest, I don't know. I hope before midnight."

"I'll be waiting for you here. I love you. I'm sorry, beautiful." You noticed a tone of regret in his voice.

"I love you too, Seung." You sighed tiredly one last time and ended the call.

You and your friend spent the time talking on the way to distract you from the bad experience. Despite having brought food, your friend suggested going to a fast-food restaurant and ordering something through the drive-thru, and it sounded like a good idea. So, you both had dinner in the parking lot, continued talking for a while, and decided it was time to go home. Your friend drove you back and waited for you to enter the building where you lived.

The moment you entered your apartment, you felt a heavy, sad vibe—something inexplicable. It felt completely weird because you expected Seungmin to come running to see if you had arrived safely, but none of that happened. So, you decided to go look for him. You found him in your shared bed, curled up, crying like never before, which crushed your heart. Slowly approaching him, once by his side, you started stroking his back, intending to help him calm down. However, that only made him cry more. He felt extremely guilty, but now you also felt guilty. You should have solved things earlier, but you chose to leave, making things worse than they were. You lay down next to him and hugged him, starting to comfort him, which this time worked. After a few minutes, he began to speak.

"Sorry, beautiful. I completely forgot that we were going out today, and by the time I realized, too much time had passed, and I couldn't find any way to fix it. Please forgive me. I promise I'll make it up to you." He apologized, turning around to face you.

"Of course, Minnie. I forgive you. I was just a little upset, but I know how busy your life can be. All I wanted was some time for us because lately, we haven't been able to go out like before," you said, stroking his cheek.

"I know, beautiful. But soon, I'll get some vacation, and if I don't, I'll take a few days off to be with you, my love." He hugged you tightly.

"Thank you, Minnie. I love you more than you can imagine. Forgive me too, and let's keep being happy together, okay?"

"Yes, silly. I love you much more."

✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ JEONGIN

After sending that message, you felt guilty because maybe it wasn't his fault, but it seemed like he wasn't putting in the slightest effort into your relationship. Every time something complicated happened in your relationship, it wasn't him who came to talk to you about it; it was always his coworkers. This bothered you a lot because it seemed like he was too cowardly to tell you things, either by message or face to face.

Right now, you didn't know whether to cry, get angry, or worry. You really didn't know what to do or how to act. What were you supposed to do? Wait and see if the man you love shows up, or if he's just going to back away again. These thoughts only made you more depressed. You even fell asleep while crying, so you didn't know what was happening around you at that moment.

When you woke up, you had missed numerous calls from your boyfriend, his friends, your friends—literally everyone. He had been looking for you for about an hour and a half, something that surprised you because you didn't even feel like you had fallen asleep, so you didn't notice the calls and messages they had sent you. Disoriented, you started reading messages from your friends saying that Innie had been looking for you for a while and seemed sad. When you began reading his messages, you realized you had messed up really badly. You had around 100 messages from Jeongin apologizing, asking you not to leave him, and begging to see you just to apologize properly. If you didn't want to be with him anymore, he said it was okay, but he just wanted to say goodbye properly. However, you didn't want to end it either; you only said it on a stupid impulse. He was and is the love of your life, and you didn't want things or the love between you to end. You quickly called him, praying that he would answer, and not even 3 seconds passed when a desperate Jeongin answered. You were about to speak, but he started apologizing endlessly, just saying words desperately, not even making coherent sense. He just didn't want you to hang up and say you no longer wanted to be with him. His desperation made you feel disoriented and sad, but at the same time, it frustrated you because he wouldn't let you talk. Therefore, you decided to raise your voice a bit to make him stop talking.

"Jeongin! Let me speak first, okay?"

"Yes, sorry."

"I don't want to break up with you. I know I said I couldn't take it anymore, and it's true, but I know being busy is not your fault. I just want you to communicate more with me. I don't want your friends always having to inform me. I want it to be you," you said with some emotion, finally able to express what you felt.

"Yes, love, I promise. From now on, I'll change for the better, but please don't leave me. I love you more than you can imagine. That's why from today, I'll be the person who makes you happy forever," he promised with a lump in his throat.

"If that's the case, come home now, Innie. I miss you. I want to fix things properly. I miss everything about you, please," you begged your boyfriend.

Tag list !!

@albaficaslover

@damselettism

[almondkatsuki]

i cannot explain this emotion — han

pairing: han jisung x fem!reader

tags: best friends to lovers, slight angst

warnings: swearing, wrote this on my phone so probs not formatted right, ji is a dumby in this one, reader is flirty.

inspo: the intro to chill (my beloved)

notes: this is my first skz fic so would appreciate your feedback and thoughts <3

{ wc: 3710 }

being best friends with han meant a few sacrifices along the way, like celebrating important occasions over facetime because he was working somewhere twenty thousand miles away, or it was having to take separate cars when going out so people won’t ask too many questions, and sometimes, it was spending the whole afternoon in the jype building bored out of your mind because jisung needed to work (and you enjoyed the quality time anyway.)

really you weren’t complaining, it was all worth it to be friends with someone as kind and as caring and as magnificent as he was. but you would never say anything as cringy as that to him- instead, you’d complain and complain about how bored you were.

“okay, the boys are coming in to record vocals so it’ll be more interesting now,” han promised you, smiling lightly as he dialed lee know’s number.

you liked watching the creative process, especially when it meant jisung had that crease in his brow he always got when he was concentrating hard on something, but who knew the creative process had to be this fucking long. jisung promised it wouldn’t take too long, but as soon as he recorded the first verse he told chan to delete everything and start from scratch.

when minho arrived at the studio, you gave him a big hug and whispered, “save me,” into his ear. he laughed big, his eyes disappearing into themselves as he gave you a quick squeeze on your hips. he asked what you needed him to save you from, using a term that sounded a lot like knight in shining armour and you giggled at him that jisung was keeping you hostage here.

“oh, is he?” he asked lowly, rubbing your shoulder lightly.

“yeah, i mean,” you sighed dramatically, “at least you’re here now so it’s better.”

minho smirked at you, popping up an eyebrow in a silent question.

“minho, can you focus?” han demanded in a sharp tone.

you quickly pulled away from each other and sat by chan and the soundboard, looking on as lee know sang and han gave him instructions and tips on how he wanted it to sound.

he was so specific, your best friend, he stopped lee know time and time again to get the note just right. you weren’t too musical yourself and you couldn’t tell much of a difference between what he did the first time and the fifteenth time—but only after so many times was han finally happy, claiming it was “just like he imagined!”

the sparkles in his eyes as he said that made your tummy do something funny, something you never felt before (and never because of han) and so you coughed lightly and focused on chan and the many sound waves on his monitor.

“right, i think that was it, lee know,” chan said excitedly. they clapped their hands together in celebration, and jisung leaned over to give minho a hug.

“your vocals sound perfect with the hook!” he exclaimed, smiling brightly at his friend.

minho’s face gleamed at that, bowing in acceptance of the compliment.

“right, get felix down here,” chan asked as he clicked a few buttons. jisung quickly called him, and you walked minho out with a smile and for a small catch up.

being best friends with one of the members meant you were close to all of them, and so you spent a few moments asking minho about the new choreography he was working on and if he was coming over for dinner during the weekend.

after a quick hug he had to go to practice a few more moves—just in time for felix to round the corner and spot you.

“y/n!” he smiled, pulling you into a hug and then back into the studio.

the pair of you entered giggling, chan smiling at you as he invited felix to sit down and listen to the guide track.

you were about to sit down on the sofa next to him, as felix was still holding your hand, but as you passed han he grabbed your waist and sat you down on his lap.

“hey,” you whispered at him as he nuzzled his face into your hair.

“sorry it’s taking long,” he whispered in your ear—causing goosebumps to rise on your skin. you were sure it wasn’t that cold in the studio, they didn’t turn the aircon on unless absolutely necessary, considering the noises it made could be picked up by the mics.

why were you getting chills?

“don’t worry,” you said, placing your hand on top of jisung’s, the one that was resting on your stomach, “i’m having fun.”

“you weren’t having so much fun when it was just me and chan,” he said, and you could almost detect a whine in his voice.

“because you guys were doing boring things. now it’s fun,” you turned to him slightly, so you could see his pout and his shiny lips and how his cheeks looked chubby when he was making his pout bigger, “it’s cool watching you take control of everything and tell the boys how to do it right.”

han looked away from you. “just my job,” he shrugged.

“ooooh!” felix let out when the guide track was finished, “this sounds cool!”

jisung tapped you on your hips, a sign for you to get up, and you took your chair by chan again as felix downloaded the lyrics document onto his phone.

han explained what he wanted, and felix gave it a try, asking questions and making sure his flow was just right.

you watched as han’s eyes followed the lyrics closely, making sure each one was delivered correctly, his head bopping along to the beat they created only an hour ago, right in front of you.

then it was hyunjin’s turn, and then it was changbin, and one by one the members came in to record their vocals.

each time you were amazed by your best friend’s abilities.

this wasn’t the first time you’ve watched him do this—you even saw him create a whole song on his laptop while you were doing your makeup before going out to a party together. you’ve seen him do amazing things, but there was something about him correcting seungmin on his note delivery that made your brain implore you to jump into his lap again.

of course, you ignored that insane instinct and remained in your chair instead. but still, you watched as he told the lead vocalist how to sing his song in the best way possible.

you weren’t sure when you started doing it, but your finger was slowly moving against your lips as you studied han closer and closer. you weren’t even sure why you were doing it.

“y/n,” chan said, snapping you out of your daydream—that involved a lot more of jisung’s lap.

“yeah?” you asked, looking around them. chan laughed.

“we’re taking a break and then we just need to put everything together. food?”

“sure,” you got up, quickly making your way over to your best friend and grabbing his hand. “is there much left?”

“maybe thirty minutes,” he said, giving your hand a squeeze. “why?”

“no reason,” you shrugged, grabbing his bicep with your spare hand as the pair of you followed chan to the cafeteria. “just wanna cuddle you for a bit.”

jisung giggled, fixing the beanie on his head a few times. “we can do that while chan finishes everything.”

you grinned at him.

“you’re really talented,” you said, seemingly out of nowhere. jisung looked at you, his mouth a perfect o shape as shock took over his face.

“are you moving away or something?”

“what?” you laughed.

“you’re being so nice to me, wanting to cuddle and giving me compliments. is this the last time i’m gonna see you?” he asked, fake panic in his voice.

“it better not be,” you warned him, before you felt the need to say, “bro.”

“don’t worry, bro,” jisung said, his hand falling from yours as he sat down by the table, “we’re gonna be friends forever.”

for some reason you couldn’t explain, that sentence didn’t make you as happy as it used to.

later that night, after the track was finished and you fell asleep on the sofa in the studio, jisung dragged you back to their dorm.

by the time you made it back there, you were almost more sleepy than you were before, and the pair of you didn’t say much to each other as you silently took some of the spare clothes you keep in jisung’s closet and went to wash up. you’ve done this many many times before, and so, it wasn’t at all weird when you ran into hyunjin in the corridor, clutching your dirty clothes in your hand.

“yay,” he said silently as he saw you, “this means we’re getting pancakes in the morning?”

you laughed at him, even through your sleep strained voice, “only if you’re nice to me in the morning.”

“of course mrs. han,” he bowed at you. you shook your head at him, giving hyunjin a shove at the stupid nickname he decided to stick to you. it never bothered you before—but when he said it now your chest felt tighter all of a sudden.

with one final middle finger his way, you walked back to jisung’s room and easily climbed into his bed and under the covers. he then went out to wash up, the smell of him surrounding you and a sudden realisation your heart was beating so strong you could feel it in your ears.

what was happening?

nothing about this was out of the ordinary, it was so normal in fact that neither of you needed to talk about you sleeping over anymore—it was just so obvious.

why were you… nervous?

you didn’t have much time to think about it before jisung came back, the smell of peppermint strong around him as he sunk down under the covers, a hand routinely laying over your stomach.

you couldn’t help but wonder if he tasted like peppermint, too.

the thought scared you so much you jolted away from him, quickly turning your back to him to cover it up in any way you could (and the warm blush on your cheeks).

“are you ovulating?” he asked after a few minutes.

“what?” you nearly yelled, turning around to make sure he actually asked that.

“you’re just being super weird today, i thought maybe you’re stressed or hormonal or something. i have chocolate in the fridge if you want me to get some?”

“i’m not ovulating,” you said quickly, leaning back into your spot.

“are you in pain?”

“ji, it really has nothing to do with my period,” you shoved him lightly, rolling your eyes at his theory.

“then why are you being weird?” he whined, placing his hand back on your stomach now that he knew it was safe to do so, and nuzzling his face into your neck. you froze.

“i’m not being weird,” you said, your voice sounding nothing short of robotic.

“you are,” he pouted. “you’re not hugging me back and i don’t think i upset you so what’s going on?”

“nothing,” you promised him, bringing your hand around his shoulder to prove a point. his pout had turned into a smile, the most adorable smile you’ve ever seen on him. his eyes closed as he nuzzled closer to you, his smile reaching his cheeks. you couldn’t stop the whimper leaving your lips.

jisung’s eyes shot open.

“you are in pain,” he said, or more like demanded. he leaned up on his hands, hovering over you as he checked if there was anything wrong with you.

“it’s just… i just can’t really explain it.”

“chlamydia?” he said with the most serious nod he could master.

“ji!!” you yelled at him, slapping his chest a few times as he giggled at you.

“just tell meee,” he whined, shaking you lightly with the hand still on your stomach.

“no, you won’t get it.”

“please?”

“no,”

“pleeeaaaassssseeee—“

“—fine!” you yelled.

at that jisung smiled, shaking you again in excitement. he manoeuvred himself so he had his chin resting on both hands, his eyebrows high in curiosity.

“i have a crush,” you said quickly, before you could take it back.

“oh,” he said, his chubby cheeks sinking lightly. “minho?”

“um, no,” you said slowly.

“who? i can talk to them if you need,” he offered, a very small smile on his face.

“no, uh, no. forget i said anything.”

you quickly turned your back to him, your heart beating much faster than you believed was humanly possible as you took in a deep breath.

what the fuck were you thinking telling him something like that? han has been your best friend for years and you can’t throw that away because of a stupid crush. no. this was ridiculous.

“what if i’m ovulating,” he said, breaking the silence.

“you can’t biologically do that,” you explained calmly.

jisung hummed, moving closer to you again and draping a hand over your waist.

“well, i’ve been really hungry lately—“

“—you’re always hungry,”

“yeah, but i’ve been angry too. then i realised it was jealousy.”

your heart fluttered.

“jealousy?”

“every time one of the members talked to you today it annoyed me. do you get that when you’re ovulating?”

“ji,” you giggled, turning around to face him, “i don’t think that has anything to do with your non-existent uterus, and you’re probably just jealous your best friend gets all the attention.”

“i want you to want my attention,” he said, lowly.

you froze.

“goodnight,” he said, after what felt like five minutes.

“goodnight, ji,” you sighed, and for the first time ever the pair of you didn’t cuddle as you slept.

the next morning you made pancakes just like you promised hyunjin, but by the time you were done and called everyone for breakfast—jisung wasn’t there. you knew he wasn’t there when you woke up alone, but you figured he just went to work out. but by now changbin was back, saying, “jisung went out to do a few things, he wanted me to say bye to you.”

“bye?” you asked, as you gave the pancakes out into each of the housemate’s plates.

“yeah, we’re flying tomorrow to tokyo for some press.”

“oh.”

that’s the first time you’ve heard of them doing anything in tokyo this week—let alone tomorrow, but you simply nodded and ate your pancakes in silence.

you: ur not saying bye?

quokki: busy today. see you when we get back

you knew now you never should’ve told han about your crush. he must’ve figured out it was him and now he wanted nothing to do with you. you couldn’t explain why, but you would’ve preferred it if jisung could’ve just told you he didn’t like you that way than running away from you altogether. you much preferred rejection than not even getting a goodbye hug. but then—wasn’t this his way of rejection you anyway?

the boys got back from tokyo five days later, five days you spent without even talking to your best friend. that never happened before. jisung always made a point of calling you before bed or sending you pretty pictures of things he’s seen throughout the day that he wanted to share with you. sometimes he’d send you voice recordings to summarise his days or an event they just filmed. he’d always keep you in the loop.

not this time.

after five days, you knew they were back home because minho sent you a message inviting you to a nice dinner at his dorm with everyone. of course you happily agreed to come, excited to see your friends again. still, it was an ache you couldn’t explain when you realised jisung could’ve told you about these plans but he decided not to.

why was he giving you the silent treatment?

but jisung would be there tonight, and at least you’d get to see him, and maybe you’d find out his phone was stolen or broken or he has some sort of amnesia and that’s why he’s being the worst friend ever lately.

you wish you never told him about your stupid crush.

minho opened the door after a few knocks, letting you into the dorm with a smile and a quick hug.

“how was japan?” you asked with a smile, rubbing his back briefly before you pulled away.

minho told you excitedly about the food he had there, and about how he knows he’s getting better at the language because it was so much easier to understand people this time around, and when he moved aside to let you in you saw jisung sat by the kitchen island.

as soon as he saw you he rolled his eyes, mumbled of course to himself and grabbed his phone, burying his head inside it.

so he didn’t lose it.

you wanted to gasp at his reaction, you wanted to scream at him that he was a shitty friend, but you just stood there instead.

“do you know what,” minho started, looking between the pair of you, “i thought i was gonna pretend but i’m not. i’m leaving, sort it out.”

and then minho took his jacket and just left the pair of you together in the kitchen.

it was then you realised the other boys were definitely not there and minho wasn’t preparing any dinner.

you turned to leave, not wanting to stay in a room with someone who was clearly upset with you over something you can’t control, and grabbed the door knob.

as soon as you did, you heard a loud key turning from the other side of the door.

so he locked you two in here.

you turned around with a huff, making a beeline towards the sofa and plopping yourself down on it.

“sorry he left,” jisung said after ten minutes of silence. you knew it was ten minutes because the watch on the wall was ticking away happily—the only sound in the room until jisung spoke.

“okay?” you said, because you didn’t know what to say, and looked at him in curiosity.

“i’m sure you were looking forward to spending time with him,” he nodded in understanding.

“who?”

“minho,” jisung said, more or less defeated—as if in acceptance.

“what?” you sighed, “i was looking forward to spending time with my best friend, but i think he left too.”

“you don’t wanna spend time with your crush?” you swallowed deeply. was he really gonna make you stop referring to him as his best friend? was he that disgusted by it that he didn’t accept the title anymore?

“look, i don’t care about a silly crush if i’ll lose you over it,” you huffed out, running your hands through your hair, “i’ll absolutely ignore it and never say anything about it again and definitely won’t act on it, i promise. just please stop whatever you’re doing.”

you weren’t too proud to beg, and jisung meant the whole world to you. so yeah, you’d ignore these feelings that would soon pass if it meant your friendship would prevail.

“jagiya,” he sighed, a nickname he only kept for important moments, “i’m not asking you to do that.”

he got up, made his way over to the sofa and sat down right beside you. you wanted to leap into his arms and hold him for five days but you decided that might be breaking your promise so you held back instead.

“you should act on it! you should tell him how you feel and see what he says and you shouldn’t ignore it just for our friendship. our friendship can last anything, especially something like this,” he promised.

“act on it?” you had to ask.

“yeah, like, kiss him or something,” he shrugged, unable to quite look you in the eye.

“kiss?” you all but whispered. was he asking you to kiss him?

han knew about your crush on him and he was telling you to act on it. that your friendship would survive it. kiss him.

so you trusted your best friend’s advise (you always did) and leaned forward. you planted a soft kiss on jisung’s incredibly soft lips, kissed him for only a moment, then pulled away.

jisung sat frozen in front of you, his eyes gaped as his mouth sat in a small, surprised circle.

“oh,” he said after a moment, “oh! oh, oh. oh!”

“what?” your eyebrows knitted together, as jisung kept saying oh with his hands on his head.

“i’m your crush?!”

“who did you think my crush was?” you almost yelled.

“minho,” jisung yelled back.

“what? no! it’s you,” you got up, grabbing his shoulder and shaking it, “that’s why you ignored me this whole week and didn’t say bye after i confessed.”

“no!” jisung shook your shoulder back, “you started stuttering when i asked if it was lee know and when i said i want your attention you said nothing so you like him! i ignored you because i was too jealous.”

you slapped his chest. “jealous?”

“i was jealous of your crush,” he sighed, grabbing your wrist to stop you from slapping him again.

“you’re my crush!” you yelled, frustrated at how silly your best friend was being this whole time.

“i know that now!” he yelled back.

“am i your crush?” you kept yelling.

“how else can you explain my stupid reaction?” he laughed, trying to fight back your hands that were aiming to slap him anywhere you could find.

“you’re always stupid,” you accused.

“you’re stupid!” he maturely countered.

“kiss me again, then, stupid,” you giggled, not giving up on your attempt to shove at his chest.

at that, jisung giggled, before he let go of your wrists and snaked his hands around your waist.

he leaned down to press his lips against yours, softly and sweetly, before he pulled away again.

“so i’m your crush?” he asked again, just to confirm.

“if you stop kissing me again for a silly question you won’t be anymore,” you threatened, empty, but jisung took you seriously all the same, and quickly grabbed your cheek so he could lean into you easily.

you suppose this made up for the week you spent apart.

[almondkatsuki]

kinktober day twelve

somnophilia jisung x gn!reader warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI, oral (male receiving), somno (obvi) 1.0k words

jisung came home late quite often. it was just something you got used to after a while. when he suggested moving in together, you were thrilled but you shortly learned that there wasn’t really a difference in the time you got to spend with him. 

he’s a great boyfriend, you could never complain. he always tried to make extra time for you, would text you throughout the whole day, and when you did have time together he made it last forever. you just wish he didn’t come home so late everyday, some time to talk about your days before falling asleep was all you wanted. 

you loved when his group took breaks, that meant every day when you came home from work he would be there to talk about your day. you would get the amazing feeling of falling asleep in his arms. 

this one particular friday night, the tables were turned. you had got of work late, preparing for a week of meetings caused you to lose track of time and not leave the office until the sun came down. this time when you arrived home, it was jisung who had fallen asleep waiting for you to arrive home. 

as you were removing your shoes by the front door, you heard soft moans coming from your shared bedroom. it wasn’t unusual, with both of your busy schedules it was hard to schedule times to have sex. this meant the two of you would indulge in some explicit alone time. usually to keep the other involved, texts, pictures, and videos were sent to the other party. 

you checked your phone for any missed texts or calls and you saw nothing. it was a little weird of jisung to forget to text you about it. you probably got a text every other day from the boy stating, thinking of you with my cock in my hand. how romantic?

you walked over to your shared room and saw jisung’s large shoulders peeking over the duvet and him facing the opposing wall. you removed your blazer, shirt, and pants before crawling onto the bed and placing a hand on your boyfriend. 

he didn’t budge.

you climb out of the bed and to his side of the room, to your surprise he’s out like a light. it was very easy to tell when jisung was sleeping. he had a habit of opening his mouth just a tad, some mornings you would walk up to a puddle of drool on your chest. some found it gross, you found it endearing. 

you hear another soft moan come from the sleeping boy and he readjusts his body. the way he moves causes the blanket to slip and reveals his almost naked body. he’s wearing only a pair of boxers, which are sporting a very obvious tent. 

“oh,” you whisper. in that moment, you realize why you hadn’t got a text from the boy, because he’s fast asleep. 

you two have had a very experimental sex life, both down to try anything for each other. jisung had once woken you up by pleasuring you before, months ago, and you never returned the favor. 

you kneel down in front of his painfully obvious erection and ever so gently and slowly, you pull down the boxers to free his issue from its confines. you waste no time teasing him, there’s no point as he’s now leaking onto the bed sheets. 

you lick one long stripe on the bottom, to you but the side for him, and wrap your lips around the tip. you run your tongue over the dripping slit and jisung’s unconscious body forms goosebumps on his soft skin. you hear one of his soft moans again as you release the tip from your mouth with a soft pop. 

you use one hand to wrap around the base of his cock and the other to fondle at his aching balls. your sleeping lover releases a whimper at the feeling and the sound could make your head spin. you slowly take jisung all the way your mouth allows and suck in your cheeks. 

“y/n,” jisung moans quietly. 

you pull back to see if you’ve woken him and find him still snoozing away. the idea of him dreaming about you in the way he is sends a wave of arousal through your body. knowing that he’s been dreaming about you this whole time makes you dizzy.

you wrap your lips around his head again and take him fully in your mouth again. his tip hits the back of your throat and jisung moans louder this time, you look up to his face and see his eyes starting to peek open. you quicken your efforts, spit falling from your mouth onto the bed below and tears starting to form in your eyes.

you feel jisung’s hand lazily grab onto your head as he groans. 

“fuck, y/n.”

you look to your side and see that jisung’s eyes are wide open, displaying awe, confusion, amazement, and lust all in one. you flutter your eyelashes and he smiles.

“i was dreaming about you,” he purrs, interlocking his fingers in your hair.

“mhm,” you respond, lips still wrapped around his cock.

you lick your tongue around his head, running the muscle over the slit. jisung whimpers and tightens his grip on your hair.

“y/n, i’m gonna cum,” jisung groans, thrusting his hips up slowly into your mouth.

you fully engulf his cock into your mouth again, forcing yourself to take in fully. when your nose touches his skin, you fill him twitch in your mouth and he pulls your mouth of him. jisung takes his own cock in his fist, jerking it until he paints his release all over your face. he takes one of his fingers and gathers some of his cum and holds his finger to your mouth. you eagerly take his finger in your mouth, licking the digit clean. 

jisung pulls his finger from your mouth and rolls over onto his back. “come up here and sit on my face please,” he says, motioning with his saliva-covered finger.

i apologize for this being late!

@rockstrhanji @hyunjinhoexxx @mixtape-racha @euphoric-univers @haruharu-egypt @shit-why-what @twiggoblin @kookiesbunny @virgohannie @nataliee10 @ihrtlix @aaasia111 @lolli4me @lilcutieana @changbinsrightboob @hanjisunglover @chansducky10 @elissasimp @boi-bi-ahaha @lilquokka04 @anglerfishiey @sirenscall1031 @might-be-a-rat @jihyun2monster @kpflyn @samsmitty @imwithurmother @meilix @summer3sworld @mysweethannie @kittykattime @linoots @yaorzu-blog @sofiaeli 

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[almondkatsuki]

you're in the wind, i'm in the water

hyunjin x reader. friends to lovers with a pinch of unrequited love (it's very much requited dw). this is pure brainrot so suggestive at the end. but also fluffy and soft. also reader wears a two piece swimsuit.

a.n: again, sanest response i could have to this hyune. please enjoy my descent to madness :) also the last scene is heavily inspired by my favorite dialogue in the song of achilles!!

pt. 2- orange

The first time you went on a vacation with Hyunjin’s family, you were only seven years old.

You don't clearly remember the island his parents took you to, the details of the travel elusive to your memory's grasp. But you remember Hyunjin- his hair darkening under the touch of the saline sea, akin to a night sky devoid of its stars. You remember the dimple on his left cheek- the sheer pride in you each time you managed to bring it to light. And you remember thinking that Hyunjin was pretty, for the first time in your small existence.

It's a thought that scorched itself indelibly into your brain, and as the years cascaded by, the branches of your love grew, each leave bearing new adjectives to describe Hyunjin- caring, emotional, talented.

But never yours.

You're both older now, and you see him less since his house is no longer right next to yours, the rhythm of life distancing you both. Hyunjin comes in and out of your life as an ephemeral tide, gently brushing your shores. You cling to the sea shells his oceans sometimes throw at your feet- the rare times when your schedules align, when you can see him beyond the confines of your phone, in pixelated video calls late into the night.

And it seems as if you've caught a rare shell this time- one with an ivory pearl hidden within it. Because you're traveling once again with him.

You're all much different, the passage of time marked you in different, but palpable ways. But your presence with Hyunjin's family still felt just as effortless as it did when you were seven. You never had to second guess what you said or how you acted with them. You were just like running water, flowing naturally within the nooks and crannies of his family.

And at night, under the moon's watchful gaze, your hushed conversations with Hyunjin remained. Beneath a shared blanket knitted by his mom, the warm sand melded with your feet, his dimple appearing once again at every word you uttered. He was still as pretty, perhaps even more so with time's gentle sculpting, molding his features into much sharper ones. It seemed only fitting for a soul as beautiful as his.

"I want to take you somewhere tomorrow," he had whispered excitedly, his lips grazing the shell of your ear, momentarily leaving you breathless- tongue dissolving in your mouth like ivory seafoam.

"You want to kidnap me?" you playfully asked, nudging him.

"You don't want to come with me?" he pouted, his gaze locked into yours, pupils appearing much darker with the absence of the sun, like a boundless ocean. The water was right beside you and yet your only wish was to swim in his eyes.

"I want to," you admitted.

"Anywhere?" he asked, irises trembling slightly as he sought your response. You were both very different, chemicals binding his molecules, and your love for him binding yours. You stood faraway from one another- you in the water and he in the wind, stirring your waves, submerging you in the seas of your longing.

"Anywhere."

...

Faraway land punctures the ocean you're gazing at, crystal blue water filling the small pool Hyunjin took you to. You admit it's a breathtaking view, only your eyes can't depart from Hyunjin's figure.

He jumped into the pool first, while you went to retrieve your camera from your bag. And now you stand by the door, heart caught in your throat, as you watch him swim around. Hyunjin is graceful, in the way he moves his limbs, bending the water to his will. It doesn't look like he's swimming, rather dancing on liquid ground.

Kkami joyfully barks once he sees you, and Hyunjin finally lifts his eyes, locking them with yours. He is pretty, unattainable, a singular star outshining all the celestial light. Foolish of them to even think they could compare.

And he's still not yours.

"I’ll take a picture of you both," you smile softly, willing yourself to conceal the lump growing in your throat. Hyunjin nods, draping his hand over Kkami's body, softly scratching the spot behind his ear. You take the first pic, capturing the tenderness in Hyunjin’s eyes. This one's for you alone.

"Okay, look at the camera," you call out cheerfully, and they both turn to look at you in unison. Though your bodies did not touch, the intensity of Hyunjin's gaze seemed to sear into your skin, igniting a fire within you. Foolish of you to dream of more.

You set the camera aside, before sitting at the edge of the pool, dipping your toes into the cool water. Hyunjin swims towards you, positioning himself between your legs, his warm hand wrapping around your ankle. You want to flee, to go back to to the innocence of seven, to never recognize how pretty Hyunjin is, to avoid the heartbreak of dreaming of someone you'll never have.

"Come swim with me," he pouts, palm pressing against your damp skin. You shake your head, a teasing smile on your face, and he pulls you to him, hands holding your waist promptly to prevent you from sinking under.

You free yourself from his intoxicating hold, before diving into the water, a desperate attempt to get away from him. Because when Hyunjin held your waist, a tenderness so earnest in his eyes it made your heart skip a beat, you dared to imagine a future together. For a fleeting moment you became the ocean and he the sky, merging at the faraway horizon.

Hyunjin dives right after you, and then you both swim around one another, giddy smiles on your faces, your laughter echoing around the room. He tries to drown you, hands gliding across the surface of your skin, making goosebumps ripple in you. You attempt to do the same, but you soon regret it. His skin was smooth, taut muscles flexing under your touch; broad shoulders you wrapped your arms around, trying to push him down. Your hand accidentally brushed against his pulse, and you removed it as if it had burned you. There is life beating within him, wildly. But not for you. Never for you.

"Wait, hold on. Your straps are loosening," he notices, reaching for your arm and spinning you around, your back now facing him. "Can I?" he asks, voice dipping to a lower timber. You feel it in the depths of your stomach, depths only he can unravel.

"Yes," you whisper, as he undoes the loose knot of your swimsuit, the one behind your neck still holding up the fabric against your skin. You can feel his cold breath traveling across your bare back, crystalizing the droplets of water trailing on it. His fingers are a stark warmth as they brush against your spine, fingertips gently grazing your skin, like a delicate feather. You imagine your body is molten wax, and he's the seal stamp pressing onto you, molding you whichever way he'd like.

He's tentative as he grabs the undone straps, wrapping them in a knot. Or at least attempting to. You can tell that he's shaking, a shuddering breath escaping his lips. "Im sorry, I didn't tie it well," he giggles sheepishly, undoing the knot once again. You don't reply, unsure of what words will stumble out of your mouth. 'I don't mind you touching me' instead of 'it's okay'.

You turn around once he's done, but he doesn't move back, his body mere centimeters away from yours. You can see the rise and fall of his chest, the slight blush creeping up his neck, coloring him in the prettiest shade of crimson. The droplets cascading down his body, forging a tantalizing path you wish you could undergo. His dampened hair, a shade darker than his usual color. His lips slightly parted, rosy as they've always been. His adam's apple bobbing up and down furiously.

And you suddenly can no longer breathe.

Beneath the water, his hand encircles your wrist, a touch so faint you almost believe that you've imagined it. His fingers trail down, holding your palm and bringing it to his face. He closes his eyes, letting out a shaky exhale, one you inhale right back in. You're cradling his cheek, his hand right on top of yours, holding it in place.

"Hyunjin..." you start, but he shakes his head, eyes still shut.

"Please," he whispers, "just for a little." and the clouds slightly uncover, a singular sun ray piercing through them- one petal of hope unfurling at his words.

"Don't- don't do this," you plead back, tone tinged with panic. You couldn't have him, not even for a second, not even in a dream. That's the way things are. Two parallel lines, traveling down the same path, forever adjacent, but never merging as one.

Hyunjin plants a soft kiss on your wrist, lips barely brushing against your pulse. You've never truly known gentleness until this moment.

"If I told you that this trip with you is the happiest I’ve been in a while, would you believe me?" he whispers against your skin, head slightly tilted.

You shake your head no.

"If I ask you something would you be honest with me? I'm tired, yn," he says, his voice softening as it always did when he uttered your name. As if the syllables were always coated in honey, even in his sadness, in his anger, and now, in his pleading for you.

"I will," you respond with an equally quiet voice, and yet it resounds loudly around the room, amplified by the consequences looming around the corner.

"Do you want me?" he asks simply, expecting you to easily uncover a secret you've buried for years, to dust the weight of your fear in mere seconds.

You remain silent and Hyunjin deflates a bit, shoulders slumping forward, the dimple in his face vanishing completely.

"Because I'm drowning in my want for you."

A water droplet falls from the strands of his hair, landing softly on his mouth. You follow its descent, as he licks his lips nervously, his hold on your wrist faltering. The wind is gliding across the water- he's offering himself to you. Who are you to ever refuse?

Your lips crash on his before you even realize it, years of longing exploding before your eyes, spilling from your mouth to his in the most vibrant colors. His lips are soft as you've always imagined them, and they move against yours perfectly, as if molded from the same dough, created to meet again and again, in a fervor, and then in a tenderness that makes your heart ache.

You're kissing Hyunjin, and you aren't burning, disintegrating under the weight of longing for someone so unattainable. You aren't Icarus- you flew too close to the sun but it hadn't burned you, instead it embraced you, it's now wrapping its hands around your waist, pressing your chest to its warm one. It's a touch you welcome, one that liquefies in your veins like molten amber.

You wrap your legs around Hyunjin’s waist, as he walks backward until your back is against the pool railing. Your hands are tugging his damp strands, fingers threading through his locks the way sunshine weaves between the leaves. He tastes sweet, sweeter than anything you've ever had in your life. And you're greedy, you can't get enough of him, so you part for a second only to meet again, his hands digging into your sides. Chest to chest, skin to skin, heart to heart.

"Say it," Hyunjin whispers against your lips, "say that you want me back."

"I want you. So much, Hyune. You're the only one I’ve ever wanted," your words wash over him, erasing every doubt that was anchored in his heart. How could you not have seen it, all this time? In each photograph you took, his gaze, always on you. The fondness in his eyes and the dimples in his cheeks, only ever coming forth for you.

You lean away, head dipped down to kiss his shoulders. Your lips trail down his collarbones, moving to the mole on his arm. He smells like chlorine, and the sweet scent of your monoi oil. Hyunjin is pretty, Hyunjin is warm, Hyunjin is yours.

Your eyes meet his and you both let out giddy giggles, the flush of your cheeks matching his. His lips are slightly swollen, and he bites the lower one as he glances at Kkami, who was idly watching you both.

"Do you think we traumatized him?" you ask in a hushed whisper.

"I think he's glad this happened and he no longer has to hear my rants about you," Hyunjin smiles sheepishly and you laugh, the sound reverberating through Hyunjin’s heart.

"Have I ever told you how much I love your laugh?" he asks, thumb swiping across your cheek with a tenderness that leaves you dizzy in its trail.

"You have," you whisper, the sound of it getting caught in your throat.

"And this?" he gently grazes your cupid bow. "Have I told you how much I love your lips?"

"You haven't," you say, mouth parting slightly at his words.

"This then," he trails across your neck, skimming your pulse. "Did I tell you how I feel about your blush? How it always always starts up your neck? Always so pretty?"

"No," you are breathless now, shuddering under his touch.

"What about this?" his hands hold your waist, kneading the tender flesh. "Did I ever tell you? About this?" They go over your hips, gliding across the bare skin. "Surely I did."

You shake your head. Skin burning up where he had touched it. He smiles, tongue poking against his cheek, hands going to your back, tracing over your spine, undoing the knots of your swimsuit. "And this? Did I tell you how much I want you?"

You close your eyes, wind meeting water. "Tell me again."

[almondkatsuki]

Volcano

pairing : han x reader. enemies to lovers. slow burn.

summary : you've never gotten along with han, your mutual prejudices ruining any prospect of friendship between you both. but you slowly realize that you are more similar than what you originally thought- your darkness recognizing his, and his light yearning for yours.

"I'll take care of you. It's rotten work. Not to me, not if it's you."

cw : depiction of a panic attack, minor injury, both reader and han say mean shit to each other, cursing, mention of alcohol, reader has she/her pronouns.

word count : 13.2k

a.n: highly recommend listening to "Let the light in" by Lana when Han starts playing it in the fic hehe feedback is highly appreciated as always <3

skz quotes series masterlist.

You remember being seven years old, sitting on the floor of your bedroom, while your mom brushed your hair. It was a late July night, a cold breeze swaying your white curtains, akin to the fluttering of a butterfly’s wing. Your eyes were slightly puffy, delicate red veins protruding the white of them. You had just finished watching a Disney movie- the Lion King; heavy sobs escaping your lips when Mufasa died.

There were still faint hiccups coursing through you, a slight shake in your hands as you fiddled with the hem of your shirt. Your mom brought you to her chest, her chin resting on your small shoulder blade. "You’re sensitive, my sweet girl" she had uttered, rubbing your arms soothingly.

It was the first time someone described you as such. You didn’t know what ‘sensitive’ entailed exactly, but it contained the word ‘sense’, so you assumed it was something good, a quality to be proud of you. You could sense, maybe more than others, maybe too deeply. That’s why you cried when you didn’t get a good grade, or when your friends left you alone in the park.

But you didn't mind back then. What was your heart made for if not to feel?

You should’ve paid more attention to the way your mom spoke, to the bittersweetness lingering in her tone. As if she knew exactly what it entailed to be sensitive- to have your heart overflow with delicate feelings for the rest of your life, with no safe destination to guard them in.

☄༄

You’ve forgotten the last time you cried in.

The tears are lodged inside your throat- you can clearly feel them, an uncomfortable weight sitting on your vocal cords, rendering them impossible to use.

You used to cry, freely, so much that you lost count of how much it happened. But you realized that every tear that escaped your eyes, made you vulnerable, weaker, in the hands of the people around you. Every tear that washed over you, only rendered you more transparent for everyone to peer at how they wounded your soul. 

So, you conditioned yourself to stop feeling as deeply, or at least to stop showing it. The sadness, the hurt, the anger were all stored within you; but your face remained placid, not betraying how you truly felt. You were like a pond, tranquil at the surface, raging from within.

But on days like this one, you miss the person you were. When the implications of being sensitive still haven’t weighed down on you. When you could get rid of your feelings in the essence of your tears. When you didn’t yet feel bad for feeling.

Chan's eyes are on you, as you type furiously on your laptop. Your vision is so blurry that you can no longer see your lit screen. But you’re afraid that if you pause then Chan would ask if you were okay, and you hated that question. Because you never truly knew the answer to it. Yes, you were okay. But you haven’t cried in six months and your friend didn’t greet you back this morning and you suddenly feel very small in a very large library.

"Hey," Chan taps your hand with his pen and you suck in a slight breath, before raising your head to meet his eyes. "Are you-" he starts but you’re quick to cut him off, knowing exactly where this was headed. "Did you answer question five? I’m stuck on what formula to use."

Chan raises a brow at you, and you blink repeatedly. His eyes travel to your feet tapping furiously against the floor, and he understands.

 "I'm still at number four," he finally says and you nod in relief. You’ve been close friends for a year and Chan has come to know you- he’s dropping the subject.

"Oh, and are you coming to the party tonight?" Chan asks, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He’s hosting it and there is hope twinkling in his eyes. You feel bad because you’re about to crush it.

"No, need to revise more for the upcoming test."

"Of course, you’ll still be buried in your books," a sarcastic voice quips up, and you stiffen inwardly. Han- one-third of 3racha, Chan’s self-made producing group, and the bane of your existence. You never liked who you were around Han, he brought out the worst in you. Made all your insecurities roar forward, plastered across your body in neon red.

He was friends with Chan, long before you came into the picture, back into their high school days when Han skipped a class and ended up in the same one as Chan’s. A genius, as everyone around you liked to call him. And they were right- excelling came easily to Han, in everything he ever did. Even tapping into each one of your tender nooks and crannies.

He knew how to expertly push your buttons, how to make his tone sound mocking, and taunting, but only to you. Because you were sensitive, and he knew it, finding it almost amusing to toy with you. 

You decide to stay silent because nothing good ever comes out of talking back to him. So, you bite your tongue, turning back to look at your screen. But Han’s elbow grazes your arm, as he leans a bit further into your face. "Come on, live a little, y/n. You’re missing out on the college experience," he makes a big show of opening his arms wide, a single red pen spinning between his fingers. "Quit being stuck up for one night." And it spins, and it spins, and it spins and something ugly inside you crumbles.

"I’m sorry I wasn’t born with a golden spoon shoved down my throat and I actually have to work for my future."

Han’s eyes widen at the raw animosity in your voice, before narrowing down promptly. He’s leaning onto your face again, and his tone is low and cold when he speaks again. "What did you just say to me?"

"Is it so hard to grasp that not everyone is as privileged as you? We can’t all afford to get wasted every fucking night and call it a life."

You’re being mean. This is the rudest you’ve ever been to someone else. You know that your reaction is disproportionate to what he said. But it isn’t just about this instant. It’s an amalgam of every moment Han made you feel small in, because you don’t go out as much as him, because you don’t understand as quickly as him. Taunts thrown your way under the guise of teasing, but you know better.

Still, guilt eats at you as your eyes lock with Chan’s. You should’ve stayed silent, as you’ve been diligently doing for the past year.

"How do you stand being her friend Chan? Is it out of pity?" Han muses, a pout pulling at his lips. You stare ahead as Han tsks lightly, before tapping your cheek with his pen, bringing your face back to him. "I think it is. Because isn’t she so fucking boring?"

Being near Han always makes you hyper-aware of things you never noticed before. Like how a breath has to travel from the depths of your body so you’d be able to release it, and how excruciatingly long it takes for you to draw in a new one. Because Han’s words are never harmless, no, they settle on the confines of your lungs, crushing down any bit of oxygen willing to leave you.

You've had enough.

"When you’re eighty, on your deathbed, and all alone. I hope you know that there is no one around to blame but yourself."

"Don’t cross the line, yn," Chan finally speaks and you scoff, as you get up to grab your things.

"What fucking line, Chan? So, he can insult me all day but as soon as I do it there is a line? Why are you taking his side?"

Chan stays silent and you chuckle dryly. "Of course, you are. You’re only friends with me out of pity after all."

"That’s not true-"

"Well, you didn’t deny it, did you Chan?"

"Yn, I-"

"Save it."

Han’s eyes are glossy as you take one final glance at him. But your heart’s bleeding too much for you to care about his minor cut.

☄༄

For how much time can a conversation haunt someone? Seventeen days, for your case. And you're still counting.

You have nit-picked your fight with Han in the library so much that it's driving you insane. His voice is drilled into your head- the coldness of it as he reeled back from the shock of your words, and then, the pure venom dripping from his tone, as he attacked you where it hurt the most. Chan.

Han chose his words carefully, stitched up the sentence perfectly to hurt you, to stick to your flesh like burnt skin, one that you peeled over and over, each time it threatened to scar.

You haven't talked to Chan in seventeen days. He tried to stop you; on your way out of class, in the line of your campus cafeteria, on the doorsteps of your dorm. But you always fleet away. His eyes were also imprinted into your brain- the disappointment in them when you clapped back at Han.

What about him? You wanted to yell. Why are you only disappointed in me?

But the tears in your pillow have dried. Then fallen again. Then dried once more. And you found the answer to question five. And you miss Chan, terribly so.

That's why you're pacing around his dorm, at 10 pm, when it's also terribly cold outside. Your fingers have gone numb from the ministrations of the wind, but you don't move from your place. You know that the chances of seeing Han- the second person you’ve been avoiding like the plague- would be higher here. But you didn't care anymore.

Your thumb hovers over the call button and you bite your lip harshly. Would Chan pick up? Would he hang up? Was he really your friend out of pity?

"Yn?" a voice calls out, and you startle, turning around to see who it is. Changbin, carrying two bags of groceries in his hand. He's Chan’s friend as well, the final member of 3racha. You like Changbin. He's always being very kind to you. You've grown much closer to him than to Han in the past few months; not that the latter has ever wanted a friendship with you. From the day you met and his eyes narrowed promptly each time you talked. You should’ve known from the start.

"Why are you out here in the cold?" Changbin asks gently, stepping cautiously towards you.

"Chan," you say simply and he nods, understanding what you mean.

"He's not here now, but he'll come home soon. Let's go inside, okay?" he smiles tentatively at you and you hum in reply.

Changbin opens the door and you follow inside. You help him take out the groceries silently, stacking them in their fridge and shelves. Lots of protein powder, and chicken packets. You'd laugh about it if you weren't so sad.

"Chan misses you," Changbin speaks up suddenly, and your heartbeat quickens at his words.

"I miss him too."

"Then you'll be okay."

You try to remember Changbin’s reassuring smile when Chan finally opens the door to the dorm, an hour later. He finds you sitting on the stool in the kitchen. His eyes light up once they settle on you.

And you unravel at the sight.

You're crying, sobs rippling from you as he brings you to his chest. He's patting your head and whispering that it's okay. And you know his shirt is all crumpled from clutching it in your hands. But he doesn't mind. He only hugs you tighter.

"I'm sorry, yn. So, so, sorry. I should've stopped him before, I just... You two are my best friends and I didn't want to add fuel to the fire by talking and-"

"It's okay, it's okay, I'm the one who should apologize for ghosting you."

"I understand why you did it. I fucked up but I missed you so much. Can we please never do this again?”

“Yes please,” you giggle, but the sound withers as the door opens once again.

"What is she doing here?" a cold voice breaks you and Chan apart, as your eyes land on Han. His gaze sucks the breath out of you, and the warmth in your heart fizzles out. Your hold on Chan’s shirt tightens and he takes an unconscious step in front of your body. Han doesn't miss the protective gesture.

"Get out, yn."

"You don't get to kick my friends out of my house," Chan is angry. And you regret ever coming here.

"Last I checked it's my house too." Han doesn't even bother looking at you. He's holding Chan’s gaze as if they're silently communicating. "You know damn well what she said why-" he takes a deep breath, running a hand angrily through his hair. "Fuck this. If she's not leaving then I am."

And with that he storms out, slamming the door behind him. You flinch at the sound.

Chan’s eyebrows are knitted as he stares at where Han stood seconds ago as if trying to conjure him up once again. You never wanted to strain their friendship. You knew how much Han cared for Chan, even if he didn't bear the same sentiment for you.

"Chan, I’ll leave. Call Han and tell him I'm gone."

"You don't have to."

"I know," you reassure, placing your hand on his forearm. "We'll talk more later, okay? It's cold and he has nowhere to go. Just call him, please."

"Fine," Chan concedes. "Call me when you get home, alright?" his eyes finally soften and you squeeze his hand in reply, before heading out as well.

The walk from Chan’s dorm to yours is fairly short, but tonight, it seems like kilometers are separating you from the safety of your bed. There is a heavy weight crushing your bones, most of it being guilt at what just transpired between Chan and Han.

That's what comes with being sensitive- you bear the weight of your feelings and the one of those surrounding you.

Were you out of place with what you said to Han? Yes. Was it eating you inside to see the consequences of your words? Yes. But he was also to blame, you repeated in your head. He was also to blame. Please. You plead, you don't know to whom, maybe to the voice in your head to stop being so mean. 'But none of this would've happened if you weren't so sensitive. So easy to bruise' the voice mocks and you stumble on your feet.

It happens so suddenly it takes you off guard- the way the breath is knocked out of you. You pause, chest heaving as you bend down slightly. Your hand is on your heart as you try to breathe again, but it's shaking so much. Your legs give out under you, and you plop down on the floor, eyes tightly shut. You can't breathe. You can't breathe. You're going to pass out.

"Yn, what-" A hand rests on your shoulder but you shake it off. You don't want to be touched. Not by him.

"Let me help-" Han speaks again, and you scramble away from him, as best as you can anyway. You end up kneeling on the ground once again, your back to him. "Get-get away."

"I know you're mad but you aren't okay and I know how horrib-"

"You aren't helping!" you shout through tears, as your heart threatens to spill out of your throat. "You’ve hurt me e-enough already."

You don't remember how you got home that night, how you managed to open the door or cross the road leading to your dorm. But you remember Han leaving you on the cold ground, just like you wanted. You remember the ache in your bones as you laid on your bed; the burning desire to stop feeling for a night, to cut your chest open and tear off your bleeding heart.

☄༄

One month later

If there's one thing you've always complained to Chan about, it's the fact that his building had an elevator in it, unlike yours.

Today, you’ve come to regret this fact. Tremendously.

You’ve been avoiding going to Chan’s dorm for the past weeks since the last thing you wanted was to see Han. But, he insisted on you coming over, reassuring you that it would only be him and Changbin at home since Han supposedly had other plans.

Well, Chan was wrong. Because Han just walked into the elevator you are in, mere moments before its doors closed.

Your breath catches in your throat as his eyes lock on yours. He looks like he wants to say something but he decides against it, opting for sighing loudly instead, before pressing the button leading to the fourth floor, rather harshly.

Your need to flee has never been this strong.

You watch anxiously as the numbers slowly go up. 1… 2… 3… Then a loud voice startles you and the elevator starts to shake in place. The door is suddenly opened and you are met with a cement wall, blocking your exit.

"What the fuck?" Han groans as you press the emergency button repeatedly, hoping that the elevator will resume its course and this nightmare will be forgotten.

It doesn’t.

"You’re going to break the goddamn button," Han pushes your hand away and you stumble away from him.

"Can you shut up? I’m not in the mood for your bullshit."

"Does it look like I’m happy to be here?" Han scoffs, as a ringtone plays in the elevator, cutting you off before you could respond. 

"Hey guys, this happens from time to time, so no need to worry. Is everyone alright?" Someone speaks and you assume it's the worker charged with the maintenance of the elevator.

"Yes," you both reply at the same time.

"Great. We’ve contacted the mechanics but they said there’s a lot of traffic, so it might take a bit longer for them to get here."

"How long?" Han asks the question that’s on your mind as well.

"Two hours, at most, for you to get out."

"Oh, for fuck’s sake," you groan, as hot tears prickle at the corner of your eyes. This is the last thing you needed today- to be stuck in a cramped-up space with the one person who sucks the oxygen out of any room you’re in.

"Thanks, man," Han sighs and you turn your back to him, facing the wall. You’ve had a horrible day, scratch that, a horrible week. Hanging out with Chan and Changbin was the one thing you were looking forward to, only for the worst possible scenario to happen- being stuck in the same place with Han. You feel an urgent need to sob but you can’t cry in front of him. Not when he’s all claws and your skin is tender.

"Wait, are you claustrophobic?" He suddenly asks, seemingly inches away from your body.

"As if you’d fucking care," you scoff, before heading to a corner of the elevator and settling down.

"I'm not a monster, you know," he mutters in an almost sad tone, one that forces you to look up at him. His hands are deep into his pockets, eyebrows knitted as he gazes down at you. "Do you really think I’m that much of an asshole?"

"Yes," you reply instantly, before staring forward again. The hurt that flashes in his eyes shouldn’t tug at your heartstrings, but it does, ever so faintly, like the last wave that grazes your feet as you get out of the ocean. "I’m not claustrophobic," you add after a while and Han finally sits on the opposite side from you.

It’s hot and stuffy in the elevator, and it’s quiet, too quiet for your liking. You’ve never really liked silence for too long, it made the small voice in your head only grow bolder, louder, impossible to ignore.

Thirty-five excruciatingly long minutes go by and the tension only grows more suffocating. It’s simmering, barely beneath the surface, waiting for the person who will finally make it explode. 

It’s Han.

“Can I ask you something?”

“No.”

“Come on, we have nothing else to do.”

“Have you tried being silent?”

"Yn," he says sternly and you begrudgingly concede. "Fine. Ask me."

You imagine him smirking slightly, the way he does each time he manages to push you over the edge.

“Why do you hate me so much?”

“We’re not doing this right now,” you shake your head, tone adamant.

"When’s a better time for it? We’re literally never in the same place."

“And whose fault that is?” You smile too sarcastically and he frowns. “So, I’m the only one to blame?”

“Can’t you see how full of yourself you are? Fuck, Han, this is exactly what I hate about you.”

“What are you even talking about?”

“You’re so immature, you never sit back to think of how your words might impact someone.”

"What words yn? I was teasing you!" his voice grows louder and so does yours. "You were hurting me!" you yell, chest heaving. There is something utterly terrifying in this confession- to let someone know how easy it was for them to get to you.

"But I didn’t mean to," he drags a hand through his hair, exasperated. "It's not my fault you felt that way."

An ironic chuckle leaves your lips, as you point at him. "See, you're doing it again! You're blaming me for my reaction instead of evaluating how your actions might have caused it."

"Look, yn," he scrambles to you until there are only a few centimeters separating your bodies. "I really wanna fix this, okay? Can we stop screaming?"

"Why are you so hellbent on fixing it?" you question, as you lean further away from him. He notices and takes a step back, giving you space.

"Because although I don't care about you, I care about Chan. And this is hurting him. So, I want to be civil with you."

The mention of Chan feels like a cold bucket of water dousing the fire within you. You know he’s struggling to be in the middle of two people he loves. He doesn’t deserve that.

"Fine," you sigh softly. “You talk. I’ll listen.”

"I didn't... I didn't know that my words would hurt you. In truth, it looked like you weren't affected at all. That's why I kept pushing you because… God Yn you're so perfect it maddens me."

Your eyebrows knit together at his words- the last thing you expected to stumble out of his mouth. "What are you talking about?"

"You never get sad, never get angry. Your emotions are always in check. You're always smiling, always laughing. Have everything figured out from how you want to be now to where you want to be in the future. And you know yourself, you never step out of order. And this is selfish and stupid but it irked me. Because I am the opposite of you. I'm a mess and too human it terrifies me, so I wanted to see if you had a breaking point. But each time I taunted you, you remained placid. So, I kept pushing to see if you'd break one day because, selfishly enough, that would make me feel better about how broken I am."

"Han, you're so stupid. Aren't you a literal genius? You excel in everything you do and you have fun on top of it, every single night. Don't you realize how lucky you are?"

"Do you really believe I find joy in being wasted and not even remembering what happened that night? I do that because I'm in my mind most of the days and it isn't the best place to be in. So, I like to forget."

“Why do you think I always bury myself in my studies? Because it's safe and it makes me forget too. Did you really think I didn’t feel? I feel too much and that’s the problem.”

Han remains silent as you curse under your breath. "Do you even realize how selfish this is? To test a human's breaking point? All because what? I didn't shove my struggles down your nose? Would you go around and do this to everyone who looked fine to you?"

"I know, I know, I was just in a bad place, and this isn't an excuse but I... I felt as if you were just showing me everything that was wrong with me."

"That is how I felt around you," you chuckle bitterly and he hangs his head low. He’s much quieter when he speaks again. “I guess we’re more similar than I thought.”

"Doesn't excuse what you did. You targeted me and made me feel insane because no one was hearing the hostility in your tone like I did."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I really am. I never thought it'd get this bad and I deserve every name you called me."

"You do." You close your eyes, as Han’s words wash over you. There is so much more you want to say, so much you want to spit out in his face because of his selfish coping mechanism. But you also want peace, for Chan’s sake. So, you try to bury your resentment, just like you do with every other feeling. One day it’ll turn into indifference. You’ll make sure of it.

You bite your lip, before clearing your throat. Your tone is softer when you speak again. "I'm sorry for what I told you in the library. About you dying alone and whatnot. That wasn't nice of me."

"You really hit the nail with that one," Han chuckles quietly, and guilt floods your heart at the expression on his face. "And I'm sorry for calling you boring. You aren't. And for everything I said before that."

"Okay. It's okay." You reassure, a tiny smile drawn on your lips.

He nods before a sly grin grows on his face. "Should we hug it out?" he teases, cocking an eyebrow at you and you stare pointedly at him. "Don't push your luck."

"Yes, ma'am."

An hour later, the mechanics finally manage to get the elevator going, which in turn allows you both to get out. Han opens the door to the dorm, and you find Chan lying on the couch, scrolling down his phone.

"Han? I thought you would..." he starts before trailing off as he looks up. "Yn? Where were you, I’ve been calling you for the past two hours."

"I didn't have signal."

"Why where were-" Chan goes to question before stopping once again. He hurriedly stands up and walks toward you.

"You... Are standing next to one another."

"We are," Han replies, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.

"And you aren't... Fighting?" his statement comes out more like a question, which makes both you and Han chuckle.

"We aren't."

"We talked it out, in the elevator which we were both just stuck in," you add and Chan’s eyes grow wide, as a breathtaking smile breaks out on his face.

"Oh my god. Finally. We'll talk about the elevator bit later but it's been so hard trying not to be in the same place as the both of you."

"We know. We're sorry," you both pout in sync and Chan shakes his head, before opening his arms wide. You giggle, before walking to him and sinking into his embrace. Han follows you shortly after, and your eyes meet behind Chan’s back. He shoots you a tiny thumbs up.

Is this how a dandelion feels, you wonder, when someone blows on it in the hopes it'll grant their selfish wishes. Only to be tossed away afterward, lifeless.

You drown out the thought before smiling back at Han. It doesn’t reach your eyes.

☄༄

Befriending two-thirds of 3racha holds within it a lot of privileges. The first one is listening to unreleased music, the second is having exclusive insight into their upcoming performances.

Their gigs don't happen as often as they'd like, because they're still students who unfortunately have lots of assignments. But when a window of free time materializes, they unveil their latest productions at vibrant parties, dimly lit bars, or even the occasional club. Which attracts a lot of people, some even coming from neighboring towns to listen to them play.

Everyone can recognize raw talent, even if rap doesn't happen to be their favorite genre.

This is how you know that they'll be performing Heyday, their latest creation, at Seungmin’s party. You've met him in passing, and Chan insisted that you'd come. Not that you needed much convincing anyway, you fell in love with this song the minute you heard it.

There is an exhilarating energy in Seungmin’s mansion, a palpable anticipation preceding 3racha’s performance, as you all gaze at the makeshift stage. The place is packed, bodies pressed tightly to one another. You feel slightly uncomfortable but you swallow it down. You're here to support Chan first and foremost, you can leave if things become too much for you.

The introductory chords materialize abruptly, and 3racha takes the stage. Chan is clad in a white shirt with huge gaps on his sides, revealing glimpses of his chest each time he bends down. Changbin, on the opposite end of the spectrum, is wearing a tightly fitted black shirt, hugging each muscle of his to perfection. Han, the last one to walk in, sports a loose black shirt, with a low neckline. His nails are painted to match the color of his attire, you notice.

The song kicks off with Changbin's incendiary rap as deafening cheers ring all around you. You make sure to scream on top of your lungs too, as Changbin’s loud voice commands the attention of everyone in the room. You’ve always held a penchant for his rap style- how powerful he sounds, and how addicted you quickly become to hearing him on stage. You remember once telling him that any song that starts with his rapping is a successful hit. He playfully nudged your shoulder but his appreciative smile was hard to miss.

Chan’s part is next and you try to rap along, as best as you can anyway due to your fleeting memory. It sounds mostly like gibberish but you don’t mind, especially when your eyes meet Chan’s and he grins at you, before morphing into the mesmerizing stage persona that's peculiar to him. You clearly remember the first time you witnessed him on stage, and how enthralled you were by the sheer power he exuded. His destiny was intertwined with music, no one could deny that. 

A bed squeaking sound comes next, followed by the knocking on the door and you giggle against your will. That was Han’s ingenious touch, as Chan had shared when you'd raised a quizzical brow at him while listening. “Is this based on a real-life experience?” You asked, a knowing smirk etched upon your features, and he pretended to zip his mouth, earlobes turning a vibrant shade of crimson.

Han finally starts rapping in his inimitable style, exuding an effortless, laid-back aura. Your gazes meet at the "let's go play" line, and he tilts his head quizzically at you as he utters his confused "huh?". You raise one eyebrow at him prompting a sly smirk from him, before redirecting his attention to the opposite side of the stage. Yet, your eyes remain on him throughout his entire part.

The boys step off the stage, and you watch from the corner of the room with a wide grin as a swarm of people surrounds them. Congratulations and praise fill the air, and you can tell that 3racha thrives on this moment- it's what they live for, what makes their souls rise up from the ashes. 

Chan catches your eye, and you applaud enthusiastically, letting out a happy giggle. He blows you a kiss, and you playfully pretend to catch it, eliciting a small shake of his head. Changbin, who's standing near him, catches the exchange and winks at you from a distance, to which you respond with two thumbs up.

Even though you're a bit far from them, you're certain the boys can sense the pride radiating from you in waves. There's something truly magical about humans existing in their element, particularly people you care about.

Your gaze shifts to Han, and your smile falters slightly. He's also glowing, but signs of discomfort are starting to creep onto his face. You recognize them fairly well, as you've felt them too at times when emotions become overwhelming. So, after a brief internal debate, you decide to act and begin making your way toward him, pushing through the crowd despite the rising complaints behind you.

They fall on deaf ears.

You grab Han's forearm, pulling him with you through the sea of bodies toward the bathroom. He doesn't fight, following diligently behind you. You open the door and pull him inside, pausing as you realize you don't have a specific plan for bringing him here. This is also the first time you've been alone together since the elevator conversation.

"Thank you," Han whispers, and you nod, your eyes softening. "I'm okay, I love performing, I just needed a breather," he quickly adds, as if feeling guilty for being overwhelmed. 

"That's completely understandable. You are running on a lot of adrenaline, and the room is so crowded," you say with a smile, turning to the mirror to touch up your makeup.

Han remains silent for a while as you powder your face, before reapplying your cherry lip gloss. You can hear him taking in deep breaths, and you avoid looking at him, worried he might feel embarrassed.

"What did you think of the performance?" he finally asks, and you raise your head slightly. You lock eyes with him through the mirror, as he leans against the door, arms crossed in front of his chest. His black t-shirt falls a bit, revealing more of his bare skin, and your eyes trail down for a moment.

"It was really good. I think this song might be my favorite of all yours."

"Really?" Han grins, his words filled with an excitement that warms your heart despite yourself. He's just received heaps of compliments from hundreds of people, yet your words still seem to affect him deeply.

"Yes. I loved your rap, how it started in a laid-back manner, and then you cleared your throat and picked up the pace. It added a unique edge to the song."

"Thank you, really," his smile is genuine, and you giggle softly, shaking your head.

"What's funny?" he asks, walking up to you. You're still facing the mirror, and he's now only inches away from you.

"I didn't imagine you'd appreciate my compliment this much."

"It feels sincere," he shrugs and you nod, finally turning around and leaning against the sink.

"It is sincere."

"Good."

You hold his gaze, eyes only trailing down to go across his face. He looks far different from how he did on stage. Shier, more eager for praise.

"You have..." he steps up until the scent of his cologne tickles your nose. His hand raises ever so slowly to your face, and you hold your breath, as he picks up something from your cheek. His hands are warm.

"An eyelash fell. Make a wish."

A surprised chuckle escapes your lips. "You wish on fallen lashes?"

"You wish on everything when you need hope." his voice is low, a timber so foreign to your ears it sends shivers down your spine. So, you close your eyes, wishing for your heart to quit beating so fast.

"Done," you whisper and he blows the single lash away, his gaze still on you.

"Thank you for coming."

"Of course. I had to support Chan and Changbin." It slips from your mouth before you can stop it, and Han slightly recoils from your words.

"Right, them. Yeah. Of course," he finally backs away, and oxygen fills your lungs once again. "I'm good now. Should we go out?"

"After you," you nod tightly and he walks ahead first, his perfume trailing after him and pulling you into a dizzying dance. 

☄༄

The party Seungmin hosted was your last time having fun for a while. Your preparation for midterm exams began soon after, and you found yourself swarmed with assignments left and right. Thankfully, you and Chan were going through it at the same time, which meant you met at the library each day, revising silently near one another.

Except this time, you were joined by Han.

Goosebumps ran across your skin as he pulled the chair next to you, not the good kind of shivers. You were reminded of the fight you had right here, three months ago. Which still left a bitter taste in your mouth.

You don't hate Han anymore. He's actually funny, and you enjoy listening to his ramblings when you go over to Chan's dorm. He's also really different in his home, much quieter, and softer. Much more like you.

But you're also human, and there is still a part of your brain sending off warning signals at his presence. Maybe because the hurt was never buried properly. You just brushed it off under the carpet after your elevator conversation. Most of it was spent shouting anyway.

"Hey," he greets and you just nod in reply. You can feel his gaze linger on you a bit after that, and a pang of guilt twists in your heart. "Hi," you finally reply, but you tune out his response. Why is it that you're sensitive to everyone's emotions but your own?

Twenty minutes go by, then forty, and you can no longer take the uncomfortable feeling clinging to your skin. So, you excuse yourself, hurriedly stepping out of the library.

Han follows you; you can tell it’s him because someone's chair scraped loudly against the floor as soon as you stood up, and that couldn't be Chan because he is always careful with the silence in the library. So, you put on your headphones and walk faster.

This is childish, surely it is, but you can't control your emotions. You've apologized and so did he, you talk from time to time and you even held his arm and took him to a quiet bathroom. So where is all this bitterness coming from?

"Dammit, yn, how are you so fast?" Han grabs your arm pausing you. He's panting slightly and you just blankly stare as he takes in a deep breath.

"Are you okay?" he finally asks and you nod, turning around to walk away. He stops you again.

"I made you uncomfortable, didn't I?" he asks quietly, and you sigh, rubbing your forehead wearily.

"You didn't do anything, I just... Being in that library reminded me of certain things."

"I know. Me too. Can we please talk?"

"We are talking," you raise your brows and he stares pointedly at you. "Come on you know what I mean."

"Fine," you giggle, "we can talk."

"I didn't apologize properly to you in the elevator. Truth is, I did it because Chan was mad at me and I couldn't stand it anymore."

The bitterness- you understand where it comes from now.

"But I am sorry. Truly sorry. I was selfish and I hurt you and this will sound like a joke, but I hate hurting people. I really do. I was just too wrapped up in my problems that I didn't realize how it would affect you and I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I also shouldn't have tried to kick you out that day, but dying alone is my biggest fear, and seeing you in my home made me want to lose my mind because I couldn't get what you said out of my head, but it was so cold outside and again I shouldn't have told you to go out and I am so sorry-"

"Han, breathe," you smile, cutting him off and Han sucks in a deep breath, chest slightly heaving from talking uninterrupted for a minute straight.

"I'm sorry I just wanted to apologize, properly this time. I'm doing it because I'm guilty, not because of Chan. Nothing excuses my behavior, I know. And I wish I could turn back in time and actually get to know you because you're really cool and very nice, but I can't. All I can do is apologize. So I'm sorry, Yn. I really am."

"I appreciate it," you smile, and Han exhales a little from relief. "I didn't know that was your biggest fear, but even if it wasn't, that was uncalled for. I shouldn't have said something so mean. So, I'm sorry for it too. But I'm not apologizing for being mad, you deserved that."

"I did, I did, I know." He's quick to agree. "I don't want us to be awkward around one another. I'm not telling you that you have to be my best friend but, we can be friends, right? But you also don't have to. It's enough if you forgive me and... You know what? Never mind forget I said anything, I'm just nervous and-"

"Okay."

"Okay?" he repeats.

"We can be friends. I accept your truthful apology."

"Actually?"

"Yes."

"Like we can start over?" he grins and you chuckle at the excitement in his face. "Yes."

"Can we hug it out?"

"Too soon," you pout and he nods, a faint blush dusting his cheek.

"Right. Should we go back to the library? I saw that you were stuck on a question. I can help you."

"You won't make any comments?"

"No. Pinky promise." he outstretches his pinky towards you and you muse over it for a bit, before wrapping your finger around his. You grin at Han- your first genuine smile since he's known you. His hold on your pinky falters.

"Okay. I'm in."

.☄༄

Five weeks later- 1:13 a.m.

You were still slightly cautious near Han as if you were both threading along an invisible line. You could talk, but not too much, afraid any old animosity would shine through. And you could stay together, but not too long, in case it gets awkward and you wouldn't know what to do. So, you never mixed, just like water and oil, each of you knowing their place, away from the other.

But you still didn't want to miss out on outings with your friends. So, when Chan invites you for a movie night with Han, and Changbin, you don't say no.

The night runs smoothly, the warm beer you had easing your nerves bit by bit. It was also easier to forget that you once hated Han when he brought tears to your eyes from laughing so hard.

2:56 a.m.

An unbearable heat suddenly envelopes you, your very blood boiling from within. You hesitantly look down, to find your entire body bathed in red, as if your skin had melted away, exposing you to the scorching heat embracing your tender flesh.

You are in the heart of a volcano, with lava bubbling dangerously below. Hanging by a frail thread, you dangle over the edge of death.

And then, you plummet. 

You startle awake, your heart pounding in your chest, your hand clutching it tightly. Cold sweat clings to your skin, and it takes you a few moments to realize that you're safe, far from the inside of the volcano that had threatened to consume you.

You glance at your phone- 3:43 a.m. You read. It's only been a mere hour since you went to sleep. You don't think you could drift back into slumber. 

Dragging a hand tiredly across your face, you walk into the pitch-black kitchen. You pour yourself a glass of water, hoping that the icy drink will cool you down. You are safe.

"What are you-" you startle, dropping the glass and spinning around, hand pressed to your heart.

"Han, fuck, you scared me," you sigh, tugging at your hair slightly and he's quick to your side, a string of hushed apologies tumbling from his lips.

"I'm sorry, here let me clean it up," he kneels and you follow suit, grabbing his hands and gently pushing them away. "No, I dropped it, let me clean," you reassure, but your hands are trembling as you pick up the shards of glass, any bit of logic clouded by your racing thoughts.

Your heartbeat's ringing loudly in your ears, you barely register the glass cutting your skin until an uncharacteristic warmth oozes from your hand. Blood.

"Shit," you curse lowly and Han illuminates the place with his phone flashlight. "Did you cut yourself?" he asks and you shake your head, walking over to the sink.

"It's nothing, don't worry."

"Yn, let me see," he's standing behind you, the ghost of his breath grazing your exposed neck.

"Han, really it's-" he cuts you off, grabbing your forearm and walking you over to the couch. He finally turns on the lights before crouching down in front of you.

"Show me?" he asks gently and you're too tired to fight him. You open your palm tentatively, taking a look at your cut for the first time as well. It's not too deep, it won't require stitches. But it's also not shallow, blood oozing from it at a steady rhythm.

Han simply frowns upon gazing at your wound, before walking over to his room. You don't move from your spot, gaze lost into the space before you. What would happen if you never woke up? Would you feel your flesh burning? Bones melting as the searing lava-

"Here," he gently holds your wrist, as his eyes meet yours. "This will hurt a bit. Hold my arm as tight as you want and tell me if it becomes too much, okay?"

"Okay," you simply nod.

He dabs up your cut with a cotton pad soaked in alcohol. You hiss softly, as the liquid burns your open skin. Han abruptly stops at the sound. "Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry I didn't mean to I just-"

"It's okay," you smile reassuringly, "I can handle it."

Han nods, resuming his treatment. He's even softer this time, if that is even possible. He's careful when he rubs a soothing gel on your cut, before wrapping your palm in a gauze. He can't find a pair of scissors so he cuts it with his teeth, his lips brushing against the back of your hand. You account the warmth you're suddenly feeling to the aftermath of your nightmare.

"Why are you even up?" he finally asks as he settles next to you on the couch, eyes looking up to the ceiling.

"Nightmare."

"You’re okay?" he asks gently and he sounds truly concerned for your well-being. You aren't used to this. To Han acting like a friend to you. But it feels nice to be cared for, so you don't mind him blurring the lines tonight.

"I'm still a little bit scared," you admit sheepishly and Han's eyes soften under the dim moonlight.

"It passed. You're okay now."

"Am I?" you drag a hand tiredly across your face and Han frowns, inching closer to you.

"Is it a recurring dream?"

"Mm. It tires me out."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I just want to forget." 'Help me forget' you want to add, but you decide against it. "Why were you up, anyway?"

"I got inspiration for lyrics so I had to write it down."

"Can you share some with me?" you ask, tone a tad too hopeful. Han catches it and smiles warmly at you.

"Sure. This is probably going to be in the chorus..." he pulls out his phone, heading to his notes app. "This is what I have so far... I let my frustrated screams out hoping that they’d be washed away in the rain. I send it off with a smiling face, down to the last drops left on my fingertips." he pauses, scrolling down a bit more. "I also wrote this; I think it'll be nice in a verse... I’m sure it’ll get better... Just like the earth hardens after the rain and flowers bloom again."

"You're such a talented lyricist Han," you whisper in awe, and Han’s cheeks warm up at your words, reminiscent of a setting sun. "But I also wish it was as easy as this. To let out all the emotions you bottle inside and for them to wash away with the rain." You bite your lip, as Han’s words echo in your head. "I think... I think that's why I get this nightmare. I don't free my emotions anymore, and they show up in my dreams to torment me."

You don't know where these bouts of honesty are coming from. Maybe because you're too weary to keep up a happy facade. Or maybe because you know that the person who wrote these lyrics must understand exactly how you feel.

"Well... It's raining." Han whispers after a while and you look at him, confusion plastered across your features.

"And?"

"Should we test it out?"

"Test what?"

"Screaming under the rain," he says as if it's the most evident thing in the world.

"What? That's insane, Han we will get sick and..." You pause, as the words dissolve in your mouth like the seafoam meeting the shore. "You know what? Let's do it!"

"Really?" he asks incredulously, a huge grin on his face.

"Yes!"

"Okay, let's go!"

You both abruptly stand up, still only clad in your pajamas. You quickly slip your shoes on before running outside. The rain envelops you in a cold hug as soon as you step outside, rain droplets trickling down your clothes. You don't mind, you have lots of bottled-up feelings to free. 

"This needs music," Han smiles as he takes out his phone, putting his playlist on shuffle. 'Let The Light In' starts playing, and you shoot him a thumbs-up.

"It fits the rainy mood," you grin and he nods, squinting his eyes to be able to look at you.

"I think if we scream here, we'll scare the neighbors."

"I know!" you chuckle, wiping away the rain droplets on your forehead. "Where should we go?"

"The empty parking lot!" Han shouts so you'll hear him over the growing rain and you nod. He takes off running and you chase after him. You're both completely drenched once you're a bit far away from the house. But you don't care. Not when there is pure adrenaline rushing through you.

You finally stop, loud giggles escaping your mouth at the thrill of what you're doing. "You should start!" you yell excitedly and Han nods, taking in deep steadying breaths.

"Okay, I'm ready!"

"On the count of three! One... Two... Three!" and Han shouts at the top of his lungs, his screams getting lost in the rain. An incredulous smile breaks out on his face as you giggle loudly, the sound of it ringing out in the downpour.

"You looked insane!"

"I feel insane!" He yells honestly and a fit of laughter takes over you both. You hold his arm to steady yourself. 

"You should try it now!" Han urges and you nod, willing yourself to calm down. 

"Okay, will you count down for me?" 

"Yes," he assures and you clap excitedly. Han can't help but smile at the excitement on your face.

"One... Two... Three!" And you shout, continuous screams spilling from the depths of your soul. Han wasn't wrong- your pain, your fear, your anger are all dripping along the rain droplets, from your bruised heart to the tip of your fingers.

You've never felt this free before.

The two of you don't notice the passage of time, the rain acting as a cathartic release to all your pent-up emotions. It was as if your pain intertwined with each rain droplet, and you were letting go of everything that had held you down. Each scream acted as a break from the burdens of the past, and the worries of the future. 

As you finally stopped, panting and soaked to the bone, you looked at each other with raw exhilaration in your eyes.

"So, how was it?" Han yells over the rain and you break out in a relieved smile. "I don't think I’ve ever been this happy my entire life," you beam at him and the sight makes the rain feel less colder to Han. 

He watches, a small smile on his face as you twirl around, face looking up toward the sky, a deluge of rain grazing your cheeks like a lover's tender touch. The smile doesn't leave your face as you spin around, happy chuckles leaving your mouth from time to time.

You look... free. As if there was an invisible weight on your shoulders that the rain washed away. A heavy burden that you carried within you, like a secret secret. He likes the sound of that. Maybe that's what he'll name his song. 

Han slightly shakes his head as he watches you skip around, clothes completely soaked. You are now standing a bit far away, right beside a street lamp.

Ooh, let the light in

Its light shines on you alone.

Time seems to slow down, as Han’s steps falter. You're smiling, not at him, but at the universe. A happiness so raw filling you that it needs to come out, even if no one's watching.

You're spinning around, delighted giggles spilling from you like the most mesmerizing chorus. Something is building up inside Han, begging for a release. It refuses to come out in a scream- violently. It's tender and soft. He thinks that if you held his hand right now, you'd be able to free it.

Look at us, you and I back at it again

Is it possible to feel something other than an emotion? Because right now, weirdly, all he feels is you.

Cause I love to love to love to love you

I hate to hate to hate to hate you

Your eyes land on Han and there is pure joy dancing in your pupils. He's glad you no longer despise him. He doesn't think he can stomach it anymore.

Cause I want to want to want to want you

You run to him, holding his hand before twirling him around.

I need to need to need to need you

Han can't believe he ever thought you weren't human enough. You are a mosaic of every feeling that makes one human. There are lyrics writing themselves in his head and they're all about you.

Ooh, let the light in

You clasp both his hands, before crossing them over. And then you're both spinning around until the world around you blurs. All he sees is you, and the light surrounding you alone.

Ooh, turn your light on

He thinks he might, if the light is you.

5:22 a.m

"There is a heater in my room, you should come," Han offers as you dry your hair with the blue towel he just handed you.

"It's okay I’ll stay here," you point to the couch but he shakes his head adamantly. "You'll die from hypothermia. Do you know how mad Chan will be if I let you pass away?" he whispers in fear, a hand clutching his heart.

"So dramatic," you giggle, before following him into his room. He goes on his bed first before tapping the spot beside him. You sigh before lying next to him, snuggling further into the hoodie he gave you to change.

"You're still shivering," he remarks, as your teeth clink together.

"It's okay."

"You shouldn't have gone out with just a t-shirt."

"I didn't exactly plan on this, you know," you smile sarcastically and Han chuckles before tapping your shoulder softly.

"Come closer."

You debate for a second before complying, the cold tuning out all the rational thoughts in your head. 

Your arm brushes against his and you can't breathe once again. But it's a different type of deprivation. Han always seems to steal the oxygen from your lungs, but for once, you don't mind. Red embers are burning within you and their flames keep you alive. You press your chest to his back, as your forehead rests on his shoulder. Maybe he'll turn you to ashes. Will you rise from them?

"You're so cold," his hand reaches behind to rub your arms soothingly, an earnest attempt to warm you up.

"I’ll be fine, go to sleep. Don't worry about me."

"I can't control it."

In the dark room, Han can't see you curling your hand into a tight fist at his words. 

"If you stay quiet then I’ll sleep," you say after a while and Han giggles softly.

"That's the goal. You need to rest."

"You should sleep too."

"I will."

"Okay. Good night, Han."

"Good night, Yn."

You think he's fallen asleep when you speak up again. "Hey, Han."

"Yes, Yn?" He replies instantly, voice slightly hoarse. 

"Can you repeat that lyric to me, about the flowers blooming again?" You ask quietly, and you feel him nodding against your chest.

"I’m sure it’ll get better... Just like the earth hardens after the rain and flowers bloom again."

His warm voice vibrates within your body. "That's a nice lyric."

"I hope you'll dream of it instead."

☄༄

Against Han’s strong belief, he's the one who fell sick after your rain-soaked outing. 

You knew of it from Chan, who texted you saying that Han caught a nasty cold, and then got food poisoning, which meant he couldn't be there for their highly anticipated meeting—after their electrifying Heyday performance, a record label expressed strong interest in signing them. 

"Can you come over and stay with Han?" Chan implores as soon as he answers your call.

“That bad?” You ask, a pout pulling at your lips.

"I don't want to leave him alone. He's been really sick for the past week now, and… it's partly your fault"

"I can’t believe you’re guilt-tripping me into coming," you chuckle even though you know he is right. Han wouldn’t have gotten out in the rain if it wasn’t for you.

"I'm sorry it’s just I don't think he's been good, apart from the illness. And I’m worried, and I don’t know I thought maybe you could talk to him. He reminds me of you, in his sadness, so you might understand what's wrong more than me."

You think it over for a second before rising up from your bed.

"I'm coming"

As soon as you step inside their dorm, Chan pulls you for a side hug, placing a quick kiss on your forehead. “Thank you so much,” he whispers, clearly grateful that you agreed to come. It worries you even more for Han.

“No problem. You can go, I’ll be with him.”

“Thank you, Yn” Changbin smiles before hastily pulling Chan outside the door. You wave them both goodbye.

You cautiously crack open the door to Han’s room, to find it completely engulfed in darkness. The stream of light from the door falls upon Han, who squints his eyes, trying to see who disrupted his fragile peace.

"Hi," you speak softly, finding it a bit odd to raise your voice in such a still room. Han attempts to sit up, before doubling over, hand tightly clutched around his stomach.

You rush to his side, kneeling beside his bed. It's the only lit-up part of the room.

"Still hurts?" you ask, your hand moving in soothing circles on his back. He nods, eyes squeezed shut, and you feel your heart crack at the sight.

"Have you taken any medicine?"

"A few hours ago. I need to eat something before I can take more, but I can't get up to the kitchen."

"Why didn't you tell the boys?"

"Didn't want to be a burden."

"You aren't. I'll make you something to eat. Okay? Try to sleep meanwhile."

"You don't have to," Han shakes his head, his eyes finally meeting yours.

"I know," you smile softly, before exiting the room.

Minutes later, you're back in the room, a bowl of sliced fruit in your hands.

"Do you guys live off protein powder and frozen chicken?" you ask, earning a quiet laugh from Han as he lays his back against the headboard.

"We do. Please save me," he jokes and you laugh, shaking your head. "Good thing I grabbed some fruit before leaving."

"Thank you," he grins, eyes slightly squinting closed. 

"Here," you grab a strawberry, bringing it to his lips. His eyebrows raise up in surprise, a sheen layer of sweat coating them. "What? Look at how tightly you're clutching the comforter," you point to his hands and Han sighs, before parting his lips slightly.

His mouth brushes against your fingertips, igniting a cascade of emotions in you. You'll think about what it means later.

You grab a green grape next, feeding it to him gently. A drop of water trickles down the corner of his mouth, and you wipe it away with the back of your finger.

"I can- I can do it," Han mumbles, voice wavering like an unpredictable storm. His trembling hands reach for the bowl, but they struggle to hold it right.

"Han, it's okay, I don't mind," you try to keep your voice gentle, sensing that there is an impending doom awaiting just below the surface.

"No, I- I need to do it. Just let me-" A tear falls into the fruit bowl. "Let me do it, please. I can- I can do it, I’m not useless, I…"

The floodgate opens.

A stream of tears escapes Han's eyes as he looks down at the bowl between his hands. He's crying, eyes tightly shut and the small whimpers escaping his lips feel like a dagger piercing your heart.

"You're sick. Let me take care of you."

"It's horrible horrible work." His voice cracks as his eyes finally lock on yours, and you can tell that his anguish isn't about his illness. These are the words of the shadows threatening to swallow him whole. You have to fight them off with the light.

"I will do it."

As Han lays on his bed, the sound of you washing the dishes resonating from the kitchen, your voice bounces off the dark walls in his head. You didn't try to convince him that it was easy work, you told him you'll do it, even if it's horrible. You'll do it because you want to, not because you can, not because it's accessible. The thought sends a warmth in his chest. It's faint, like a flickering candle trying its best to withstand the wind. But it's there. He holds on to it. He'll shield it with his cupped hands so it wouldn't fizzle out. 

"Hannie, you’re okay?" you peer into the room. Hannie- the candle's flame grows higher.

"Mm," he hums, too weak to turn and look at you.

"You're shivering," you remark, and he tightens the blanket around his body. "It'll pass."

You stay silent, and he thinks you've left the room. But then he feels the left side of the bed dip, with you climbing tentatively on it.

"This worked last time when I was cold," you smile softly at him, before bringing his head to your chest and wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He feels frail and fragile in your embrace. You hug him tighter to you.

"Warming up?" you ask and he nods against your chest. He's burning.

"Try to sleep," you urge quietly, your hand moving to pat his back. "It will pass."

"What if it doesn't?" Han asks faintly. Please don't let the candle die, he wants to plead.

"There is always light at the end of the tunnel."

"What if the tunnel is closed?"

"Then you go back to the start and find a new one," you respond.

"Can I find it later? I'm so tired tonight." His voice is drowsy, sleep already clinging to his achy bones. 

"Just rest for now. You did well," you scratch his back lightly, as he nuzzles further into the crook of your neck. 

There was never a candle to begin with- you were the light.

☄༄

Had someone told you five months ago that you'd be lying on Han's bed, watching "Howl's Moving Castle" at 2 a.m., you would've thought they were utterly delusional.

Yet, here you are now.

A lot of things had changed since your rainy outing with Han, as if the universe had shifted into alignment, two stars in the sky finally colliding and making way for something new. You saw him under a different light, understanding that no one picks up a dandelion unless they desperately need the solace it provides.

You've grown to care for him, in the course of the past two months. And funnily enough, you've started to like who you were next to him- just yourself, with no pressure of making conversation, or catering to his expectations of you.

He saw you at your worst anyway, and so did you, there was no use in filtering things anymore.

You've been there through the entire process of writing, composing, and producing Secret Secret- the song whose lyrics had captured your heart. You didn't expect him to ask you to be there with him, he just shot you a text, three days after you came over to his house. 'Wanna be there while I work on the song? I know you liked the lyrics.' It was an offer you couldn't pass up on.

You weren't, in your opinion, much help. Han was gifted in the music realm and song-making flowed naturally from him. But he noticed how interested you were in music, so he called you over each time he worked on the song, even asking for your input at times.

That's why, when the song was finally done and released on 3racha's Spotify account, you decided to celebrate by baking him a cake. You may have dropped an eggshell in the batter (you recovered it later on), and the icing's color turned out less vibrant than what you hoped for. But you managed to adorn it with a garden of little flowers, and with store-bought icing, you wrote the words "after the rain flowers will bloom again."

You showed up to the dorm and Changbin pointed you to Han's room, where he had apparently been holed up all day. You shot him a grateful smile, before pushing the door open with your foot.

"What are you doing here?" Han asked, an incredulous smile drawn on his lips.

"Surprise!" you grinned, pushing the cake his way. "Congrats on making Secret Secret."

"Are you serious?" he chuckled, jumping out of his bed. He peered at the cake, eyes softening as he gazed down at the design.

"You drew a little garden..." he whispered in awe and you nodded, a faint blush creeping up your face.

"I'm glad you recognized what it was. I'm not the best baker," you admit a bit shyly but he shook his head. "It's perfect. I can't believe you did this to celebrate our baby!"

"Your baby," you corrected, although the use of 'our' warmed up your chest, weirdly enough.

"You were here with me every step of the way. She's ours."

"It's a she?" you giggled, and he smiled proudly.

"Mm. Do you accept being her mother?" he mused; hands clasped in front of his heart like he was praying you'd say yes.

"It would be my greatest honor," you nodded solemnly, and he let out a breathy chuckle, grabbing the cake from your hands and setting it on his bed.

"Should we hug it out?" he teased, arms stretched wide but you merely stared at him, unimpressed.

"Come on," he whined, "you can't reject me for the third time. And, in front of our child. On her birthday!" his tone grew louder and you couldn't help but giggle at his mock outrage.

"Try harder."

"Our child won't know what a loving parent relationship is and then she'll seek out unhealthy love from the ones around her and-" you cut him off by finally wrapping your arms around him.

You've always known that being near Han left you breathless, but this time, it felt as though he was breathing life into you. You close your eyes instinctively, as his hold tightens on you. He smells immensely nice, like pinewood and soap. You should've hugged him sooner.

"Thank you," he said quietly, forehead pressed against your shoulder blade.

"You did well," you whisper back.

"We did. She's our child, remember?" he reprimanded and you laughed faintly.

"Yeah, ours."

Hours later, the movie's credits finally roll down, and the finished cake sits idly by Han's desk.

"I should go," you rub your eyes tiredly, and Han stares at you as if you are out of your mind.

"At this hour? Do you want our kid to lose her mom?"

"Han," you drawl, hitting his head with the pillow next to you. "You can't hold me hostage."

"I can, as your husband."

"Since when are we married?"

"Since you agreed to be Secret's mother." Another playful hit to his face.

"Stop attacking my face, how will I get laid then?"

"So, you are cheating on me?" you ask, feigning outrage.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry baby you're the only one I want." You falter at the nickname before hitting him even harder, matching the tempo of your quickening heartbeat.

"You're crazy," he laughs, grabbing your wrists and pinning you onto the bed. He's hovering over you, eyes hooded with a tender intensity as he gazes down at you.

"Will you stay, please?"

"The couch is uncomfortable," you reply, avoiding his eyes. He lets go of one wrist before holding your chin gently, urging you to look at him.

"You can sleep here. We've done it before."

"You were freezing both times. That's why I did it."

"I'm very cold tonight," he pouts, eliciting a surprised chuckle from you.

"Are you now?"

"Very much so."

"Fine. Only because I don't want you to die from hypothermia."

"Thank you!" he grins excitedly, finally letting go of your wrist. You bring a hand to your flushed cheeks, as he tosses a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants in your direction.

"Get changed! There is a spare toothbrush in the cabinet."

You make sure to groan theatrically, before heading into the bathroom, where you splash your face repeatedly with water. You aren't used to this- being a blushy mess, because of Han, nonetheless. It was dizzying you, how things took the complete opposite turn between you and him.

At least, back then you weren't alone in your hate, you couldn't stand being alone in your affection.

So, you'd stop this, whatever feeling that's coursing through you. Tomorrow, you will firmly close the door on the blooming feelings within you. But tonight, you’d both lay on the same bed, arms brushing against one another. It's completely dark and quiet, but there is an entire symphony playing within you.

"Thank you for today," he whispers, turning around and tucking his arm under his head, this way he's facing you.

You mirror his actions, and your fingertips brush against one another. You can't see him but you can feel him. He's everywhere, wrapping around all your senses. 

"Thank you for making this song. It's very comforting to me."

"Why is that?" he questions, inching closer to you, you can feel his minty breath fan all over your face.

"I’ve always felt like I carried too many emotions within me. Like a volcano, bubbling over until the day I explode. I never liked feeling this way, so I tried to hide it," you confess softly.

"Like a secret secret."

"Like a secret secret," you repeat, glad that he understands.

"You don't have to hide with me," he says after a few silent beats, and you swallow nervously.

"I know." you lick your lips as the music inside you grows louder. "Still cold?"

"A little."

"Come closer," you beckon, and he complies instantly, wrapping his arm behind your back and drawing your chest close to his. Your legs entangle with one another, as your face lays on the crook of his neck. It's intimate, far more than any time you've done it before. You don't want to sink in his hold in fear of never resurfacing again.

"Good?" he asks, voice tinged with a newfound raspiness. 

"Mm," you hum, and he releases a relieved sigh.

You've once read that everything in this universe sings. Every atom's vibration creates a sound, contributing to a grand celestial chorus. It's an unscientific, but lovely thought, to wonder who our hearts sing for.

Right now, it's for Han.

☄༄

The music echoes through your being, an ever-present melody that refuses to fade into silence. Even with no audience to enjoy it.

Han always found his way back to your side, no matter how many times you've tried to distance yourself from him. And you couldn't bring yourself to refuse him, because you were friends, first and foremost. And friends don't abandon one another just because a mere glance at them sprouts a blush across your cheeks. 

That's how you find yourself on your way to Han's dorm, for the third time that week. Watching movies together has become your little tradition, for the past few months, and sometimes even Chan joins in. Although he mostly enjoys shooting you a knowing smile, to which you flip him off.

Your phone rings and Han's name illuminates your screen. You smile against your will.

"Can't wait to see me this much?" you singsong and Han's chuckle rings through the phone. It's rich and deep, causing you to tighten your hold on the device.

"Yes. And can you please go to the store? I'm out of snacks."

"What do I get out of it?" you muse, changing directions to the nearest convenience store.

"Snacks."

"Asshole," you giggle on your way to cross the road.

"And my eternal gratitude of course."

"Right, because I can't-" Loud tires screech right beside you and you startle, letting out a loud yelp as you drop your phone.

A hand on top of your heart, you bend down to pick up your fallen device, as the driver gets out of the car that grazed your body, mere inches away from hitting you. 

"Are you okay, miss? I'm sorry I didn't see you." The middle-aged man is quick to your side, and you glance at the small kid in his car, willing yourself to calm down for their sake.

"I'm fine. Just a bit startled. Drive more slowly, there is a kid with you."

"I know, I'm sorry," he drags a hand through his stressed features and you couldn't help but feel sympathy for him. "It's okay, don't worry about it. Just pay more attention to the road, okay?"

"Thank you so much. Thank you," he clasps his hand in gratitude before getting back to his car and you wave him off, your heart still wildly beating in your chest.

You head into the convenience store, picking up the snacks you know Han loves before paying for them. But as soon as you step back outside, you spot a disheveled Han crossing the road, sprinting toward the store. His pace quickens upon spotting you.

"What are you..." your question is cut short as his arms wrap around you, pulling you to his chest instantly. You can feel the frantic rhythm of his heart, and you're confused as he pulls away, hands cradling your cheeks and turning your face left and right.

"You're alright, nothing happened to you, right? You’re okay?" he inquires urgently and you let out a confused giggle, as you grab his arm to steady him.

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard the tires screech and you yelled and then you didn't pick up when I called and I thought-" his voice cracks. "I thought something happened to you."

"No, no. I'm okay. Nothing happened, I promise." you reassure, as he brings you to his chest once again, his hand smoothing the top of your hair.

"I was so scared," he kisses your temple, as his thumping heart resounds within your chest. "So terrified that something would happen to you. I thought I'd lose my mind."

"You don't mean that," you shake your head slowly, peeling yourself away from him.

"Can you really not see how much I care about you? How I crave being near you?" his voice raises a slight octave. The music in you picks up.

"How long do I have to pretend to be cold to have you nearby? For god's sake, I'm never cold around you, yn. When I see you, I ignite." He takes in a deep breath, pressing his forehead onto your shoulder. "And I... I couldn't have lived with myself if something happened to you. I... You drive me crazy, Yn. When we became friends it felt like I was stepping inside a home for the first time, and yet I already knew each turn in it."

He grabs your arms, shaking you slightly as his chest heaves up and down. "My darkness recognizes yours and my light is you and you- you think I wouldn't care if anything happened to you?"

He shakes his head as tears prickle in the corners of his eyes. Has his music always been this loud, were you just not listening properly?

"I'm scared because we didn't start well and I understand if a part of your heart still resents me, I do. But I don't think I can pretend anymore. Not with you," his voice softens as his gaze locks on yours.

"Were you pretending too?" He asks, hope dripping from his tone. "Do you feel it too?"

A split second goes by. A candle flickering somewhere. A dandelion plucked from the ground. The shadow of a cloud passing over the sun- and you pick.

"I feel it too. So much that my heart feels like it’s singing for you, Han."

"I'll sing for it in return," he whispers, before crashing his lips onto yours. His hand slides up the back of your neck, drawing you closer. You drop the bags of groceries as you cradle his cheeks, feeling them warm up beneath your touch. You can't believe you've ever disliked your heart for feeling too much, not when the lovely emotions flowing in your heart threaten to burst it at the seams, submerging you in a warmth you've never known before- Han. 

Two months later

You have 3 new messages from: hannie

"kept this song a secret from you baby but i wrote it for you so you can't be mad"

"i don't know if you remember but you’ve once told me that you are a volcano. as if that’s something that’s supposed to put me off. well, some people dedicate their lives to studying volcanos. and i would dedicate mine to learning you."

"Volcano.mp3."

Light.

[almondkatsuki]

Fake it Till you make it

Pairing:  Jisung  x Reader

Prompt 10: Opposites attract when two characters pretend to be dating and fall in love​​

Word Count:  4153 WORDS OH MY GAWD?

Genre: well its fake dating so angst/comfort maybe???

Spoiler:  “Annddd that’s how your father faked his way into my life.” 

Warnings: She/her pronouns, cursing, cheating Minho, toxic Minho, minho is just a bad guy, Jisung is just a loud but lovable college guy trying to make the most of life, mentions of sex (minho is cheating ofc), jisung loves the f word, small mention of a cut/blood, fighting, lowkey a slow burn but also not really but also sort of a slow burn; also i would like to say it’s sort of proofread but also not really so

Notes: every now and then i remember that jisung has me in a chokehold 

Han Jisung was certainly a character. He was loud and reckless, many would call him the “class clown.” But to you, he was just your crush’s best friend. Yes, unfortunately, you had fallen for the one and only, Lee Minho. 

You had one Chem Lab and Minho, and decided that he was the perfect man for you. He was handsome, witty, and smart. Plus he seemed to be kind to everyone, so that was just the icing on the cake for you. 

Luckily for you, your professor assigned the lab partners, and you were partnered up with Minho. Unbeknownst to you, this simple arrangement of partnership will change your life. 

Having Minho as your lab partner meant that You two would be spending loads of time together. And unfortunately for you, Minho loved being inside his apartment near campus. Every time you two would need to do some extra work, Minho would suggest going over to his apartment. His apartment was only a ten-minute walk from campus, but you knew who also resided there, Han Jisung. 

Jisung and Minho are the best of friends, they know each other like the back of their own hand, but they are truly opposites. Minho was more collected and Jisung was, well, everywhere. Jisung was the wilder of the two, he went to tons of parties back then, and he was always at a party. 

But he was also always there at the apartment when you were there. It’s not like you hated Jiisung per se, but his energy and your energy never matched. When you and Minho would be in the living room, finishing up a post-lab assignment, you could hear Jisung in his own room, playing the drums or sometimes belting out random song lyrics. Minho would only shake his head and apologize for his roommate’s behavior, but he always smirked when he apologized. It really gave you mixed signals back then, But you would soon find out what kind of man Minho actually was.  

During the time of the chemistry class, Minho gave you his phone number, so you and him could properly communicate about chemistry projects, but after the class was over, and you two both passed, Minho would still message you. Back then, you could only think about how lucky you were to have THE Lee Minho texting you in HIS free time. Minho would invite you out to lunch, to study sessions, or just to hang out. But as usual, you would somehow end up at Minho and Jisung’s shared apartment. Every time he would invite you out to his apartment, he would smirk, knowing that Jisung’s loud nature made you uncomfortable. 

Even though you never liked spending time at their shared apartment, you still fell harder for Minho, and he knew it. He knew that you liked him, and every time he would invite you out to his apartment, he knew you wouldn’t say no, even though being around Jisung’s loud nature made you uncomfortable. 

Minho would continue to take you on dates, but never asking you to be his girlfriend. On one occasion, he accidentally spilled a drink on you, and on another, he seemed more interested in his phone than in the conversation. But, at the time, you didn’t mind it, you were still spending time with Minho. Minho would often make dates with you, and you would meet up at his shared apartment, so going to the apartment for a date was not out of character. 

Minho texted you to meet at his apartment at 3:15, so you arrived at his door at 3 on the dot. Minho always liked to be on time, so when he said 3:15, he meant that he wanted to leave at 3:15, therefore you needed to be there at 3. It’s just the way Minho was, well still is. 

When you arrived at the door, you knocked twice. You always knocked twice. However, there was no answer. You put your hand on the door handle, just to check if it was locked, as sometimes Minho would leave the door unlocked if he knew you were coming over. And the door was unlocked, so you walked inside, everything was normal until you heard them. 

You heard Minho’s moans, the skin-to-skin smacking that resonated throughout the apartment. You felt your heart drop to your stomach. It’s not that Minho and you were dating, but you thought he liked you. And you thought you liked him. 

Interrupting your thoughts, you heard a few final, louder, moans. You went into autopilot and went into the first room that you could quickly hide in. Once inside the room, you shut the door, as silently as you could. You move out of the way from the door, covering your mouth, trying to hold the sobs in. You slide down the wall, trying to even your breath. He wasn’t even your boyfriend, so why are you upset?  

You could hear their hushed voices as they exited the apartment. Still, you didn’t dare to move. You could hear the front door open again and fast-paced footsteps came closer and closer to you. The door to the room you were hiding in swings open and enters a happily humming Han Jisung. When his eyes met your teary ones, he almost dropped his bags. He quickly set down his bags and rushed over to you, crouching down to you. 

“What happened?” He asked, looking you over for any immediate signs of harm. You shook your head. “Uhhh Okay well Um.. Why are you crying?” He asked meekly, almost unsure to ask any questions. You let out a pitiful sob, “Minho.” With that one word, it was like he understood everything. 

Well, Jisung was Minho’s best friend and his roommate. And if you could hear the two of them in Minho’s room, you couldn’t even imagine what Jisung had to go through. 

“He’s an asshole. Really. I mean He gets into all these girls’s pants all the time..” He trailed off, looking up at you, he stopped talking when he saw the tears flow down your face. “Ah, Shit. Okay, How about this? Me and you,” He gestured to himself and then you, “Fake Date!” He clapped, his smile almost lighting up the whole room. You jumped a little when he clapped, not expecting him to be this loud. His eyes widened, “Oh shit! I’m sorry! I’m just used to being loud.” He said, looking away. You shook your head, “No, you’re fine.” You said. 

Jisung's proposition hung in the air, his eyes still reflecting genuine concern for your well-being. The unexpected nature of his suggestion caught you off guard, and you couldn’t help but crack a small smile at his enthusiasm, despite the circumstances.

"Fake dating, huh?" you said, wiping away a few tears. "That's a pretty unconventional solution, Jisung."

He grinned, looking somewhat proud of his idea. "Well, unconventional times call for unconventional measures. Plus, it's the perfect way to show Minho he can’t go around manipulating every girl he comes across into fucking them."

As you considered the proposal, you couldn’t deny the appeal of the idea. It could perhaps send a message to Minho. However, the intricacies of faking a relationship, even temporarily, are not lost on you.

"How would that even work?" you asked, genuinely curious about the details of Jisung's plan.

Jisung leaned back, scratching his head. "Well, we just act like a couple—hold hands, share a few laughs, maybe even a fake kiss here and there. Make it convincing enough, and hopefully, Minho gets the message that he can't fuck around with every girl he comes in contact with."

You sighed, “Alright.” 

Jisung's eyes lit up, and he clapped his hands together. "Great! We'll make this so convincing that Minho won’t know what the hell is happening!"

The two of you begin to brainstorm ways to make the fake relationship appear authentic. Jisung suggests casual touches, sweet gestures, and spending more time together in public. The plan took shape, and you found yourself surprisingly committed to the act if only to put an end to Minho's fuck-boy behavior. 

After a few hours of brainstorming,  you both decided that you would spend the night, starting the fake relationship as soon as possible. Jisung lent you his baggy night shirt and some shorts, as you were dressed for a date night when you arrived at the apartment. 

That morning, when Jisung had woken you up, “I hear Minho in the kitchen.”He had said.  His expression was a mix of determination and readiness for the charade you're about to embark on. The plan was in motion, and you couldn’t help but feel a mix of nervousness and anticipation.

You nodded, “Starting already?” You asked, causing Jisung to giggle, “Of course we are! He’s most sensitive in the mornings!” He said, rushing you out of bed.

 As you followed Jisung out of the room, you couldnt help but wonder how convincing this act would be and what kind of reaction you’d elicit from Minho.

In the kitchen, Minho glanced up from his breakfast preparation, a curious look in his eyes as he noticed your presence. Jisung put on a charming smile and gestures between the two of you."Morning, Minho! Guess what? Y/N stayed over last night," Jisung announced with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. Minho's eyebrows shot up in surprise, and he looked between you and Jisung. "Oh, really? That’s Unexpected. What's the occasion?"

You exchanged a glance with Jisung, both of you ready to play your parts in this charade. “Well since you didn’t answer my text last night for our hang out, Jisung and I decided to have a ‘stay at home’ date night!” You met Minho's gaze with a practiced smile, feigning nonchalance. , "We figured why waste a perfectly good night, right?" You let out a soft laugh, hoping it sounds convincing. Jisung chimed in, "Exactly! We watched movies, ordered some food, you know, the usual cozy night in."

Minho's expression shifted, a mix of surprise and curiosity still lingering. "Huh, I didn't know you two were that close." You nod, subtly intertwining your fingers with Jisung's, a move you'd agreed upon earlier. "Well, sometimes unexpected things happen, and you just go with the flow, right?"

Jisung gave  Minho a playful nudge. "Come on, Minho, you should've joined us. It was a blast!" Minho chuckles nervously, his eyes darting between the two of you. "Yeah, maybe next time." Jisung laughs, “Oh Come On! You’re always with one of your weekly girls. It wouldn’t hurt to be with your friend and his girlfriend for a while!” Minho shook his head, “Yeah, I’m just a little busy currently.” He brushed off Jisung’s offer. Jisung shrugged, “Whatever man.” 

As the breakfast preparations continued, you and Jisung maintained the act, exchanging glances and subtle touches. It's a delicate dance, and the success of this ruse depends on how well you can convince Minho that there's more to your relationship than meets the eye.

The weeks pass, and the facade of your fake relationship with Jisung continues. The charade becomes more convincing with each passing day, and you find yourself caught in the whirlwind of emotions that accompany the act. Jisung's thoughtful gestures and genuine kindness start to blur the lines between reality and fiction.

As you would go on these "fake" dates, you couldnt help but compare Jisung's behavior to Minho's. The difference between the two was like fire and ice. Jisung's consideration and warmth stand in stark contrast to Minho's self-centered actions. Jisung would hold the door open for you, whereas Minho would let you walk straight into the door and then slyly apologize. Jisung would buy you flowers and cute good-morning text messages. But then the realization dawns on you that maybe there's more to Jisung's plan than just fuck with Minho's advances.

You noticed the weariness in Jisung's eyes, the exhaustion that comes from living with someone whose lifestyle clashes so significantly with his own. His attempt to create a buffer, a shield from Minho's late-night fucks, becomes more apparent.

One evening, after returning from a l "date," Jisung breaks starts a conversation that would change your view on some things.

"I hope you know this isn't just about Minho," he says, his eyes focused on the road ahead. "I mean, it is, but it's also about finding some peace in my own home. I can't keep living like this." 

You knew that you both were earning something from this fake dating, but you never thought that you would see Jisung so emotional about Minho. 

“He’s my best friend you know? And I know that he has been doing this for months now, and It’s tearing me apart that he is going around fucking up girls and manipulating them. It makes me so pissed that he’s done this to a multitude of girls and that he’s done this to you.”   

You didn’t know what to tell him at the time, I mean Minho was using Jisung by living in his house, and you were using him to get back at Minho. You could only stay silent. 

A few days after that date, it was Minho’s birthday. Minho and Jisung were having a get-together with their friends at their apartment, little did you know at that time, this small gathering was going to change your life.  

As the roommate’s friends arrived, the apartment was filled with excitement, laughter, and the sound of glasses clinking. A sense of both celebration and anticipation permeated the air.

You keep up the illusion of your fake relationship with Jisung during the little get-together for Minho's birthday, acting as the supportive girlfriend. The party progresses, and the revelry heightens, but beneath the surface, an undercurrent of tension simmers.

As the night unfolded, you noticed Minho's attention lingering on you and Jisung. His eyes showed a hint of interest, perhaps even jealousy. ? 

Sometime during that night, you decided to step outside of the apartment, to have some alone time. Being around Jisung and Minho’s shared friends, really drained your social battery. You were out of the apartment no longer than five minutes, and you heard the sound of the door being opened and closed. Thinking it was one of Minho’s or Jisung’s friends leaving the party, you continued to mind your own business. 

That was until a hand grabbed your shoulder, turning you around, and then pushing you up against the wall. You winced at the impact of you being shoved against the wall, and when you opened your eyes, you were met went MInho’s dark and cold eyes.  “What the hell has been going on between you and Han?” He seethed out. You rolled your eyes, “What does it matter to you Minho? We weren’t together Minho.” He scoffed, slapping his hand on the wall beside you, “Like Hell, we weren’t. But you didn’t even like him! You couldnt stand him when we were fucking around! How can you just turn up one day and say you’re fucking with Han?” 

You sneered, “Minho if you don’t leave me the fuck alone, I swear to God that I will make SURE you will never be able to have sex again.” You uttered. “You-” Before he could continue, the front door swung open, Jisung rushing out of the door, barrelling towards You and Minho. 

Jisung pushes his whole body into Minho, taking the both of them to the floor. The two roommates struggled on the ground for a good minute, you could only stand there. You knew that getting in between the two would be a stupid decision, so you just stood there in shock. 

After what seemed to be hours (but were only seconds, your conception of time was severely warped back then), One of their friends, Chan, came running out the door, followed closely by Changbin, Chan hurrying to grab Minho, and Changbin struggling to catch Jisung.  Jisung and Minho struggle against the bigger, buffer men, still trying to get a hold of each other. Felix, another shared friend of theirs, comes towards, “What on earth happened out here?” He asked, worryingly. He kept glancing over at Chan and Changbin, who were still struggling to keep the two. You only shook your head. 

“He was going to fucking hit her! I saw it! I was watching out the window! I knew you didn’t like her! You just wanted to fuck with me- with her! You knew how I felt Minho! I can’t fucking believe you!” Jisung was yelling, that if they kept this up, the cops were going to be called. “Guys calm the fuck down. The cops are gonna get called. Now everyone shut the fuck up and go back inside.” Chan sternly gave out instructions, and somehow with his hushed voice, he got everyone to go inside. 

The group disperses to various corners of the living room. The atmosphere was strained by the events outside having left an uncomfortable vibe around all nine people inside the apartment. 

Felix, still visibly concerned, glances around the room. "Someone better start explaining what the hell just happened," Chan said.

Jisung, clearly still seething with anger, takes a moment before speaking. "I saw Minho, he was going to hit her. I couldn't let that happen."

Minho, on the other hand, shot a glare at Jisung, his face contorted with frustration. “Why the hell were you watching us? Minho clashed back, becoming visibly angry again. “Guys. Adults.” Chan reminded, Minho sighed, “I was only trying to talk to her.” Chan, and pretty much everyone in the room looked over to you, expecting you to explain. 

“I wouldn’t call  pinning me on the wall against my will as ‘talking’ but okay.” You shrugged, maybe that was a little too rude at the time, but who could blame you? You were still trying to process everything. 

“You knew how I felt Minho. You’re my fucking best friend. I fucking let you live in my house for fucks sake. Every time you would bring another girl home to fuck I tried my fucking best to leave the apartment, I fucking tried so fucking hard. Then you bring her around? KNOWING how I felt? Then you fucking hurt her? I didn’t know what to fucking do when I found her fucking sobbing her eyes out. My dumbass could only think of fucking fake ass dating. That shitty ass shit.” Jisung ranted, almost fully out of breath. 

Your eyes widen. You glanced around the room.  Chan sighed. “Alright, Minho why don’t you crash at my place tonight? We all need some space.” Chan announced, Minho only nodded, leaving to his room for a minute, and leaving with a bag along with Chan. Chan only waved everyone out, but when you tried to leave, Chan pulled you to the side. “You should probably stay. I think you and him need to talk.” Chan smiled at you, You only nodded. Talking felt too much like a chore.

You sat back down beside Jisung, throughout that whole ordeal of everyone gathering their belongings and leaving, Jisung never moved. In fact, he still had some blood on his face, a small cut he got from the scuffle with Minho nearly thirty minutes earlier. 

You two sat in complete silence for a moment. You sighed, “Your cheek is cut.” He hummed. “Want me to clean it?” He sighed but nodded. You knew that he kept a first-aid kit in the bathroom, because on one of your ‘dates’, the two of you attempted to make dinner, but ended up with you cutting your finger and Jisung burning the food.

You grabbed the kit, and then made your way back into the living room. Jisung was still slumped on the couch, his usual vibrant and full of energy far gone now. His eyes met yours as you cleaned the small cut on his cheek, he quickly looked away, his cheeks turning pink. As he’s looking away, you took the chance to really look at him. He was really handsome. The curve of his jaw, the lines of his face, the way his eyelashes flutter every time he blinks - just everything about him, was pretty. 

“I’m sorry for making things awkward.” He said, breaking the silence. Your eyebrows scrunched. “What are you talking about?” You put the little alcohol wipe on the first-aid kit and grab a band-aid, opening it and placing it on the small cut. He watched you as you placed the band-aid on, following your every move. 

“God it’s so embarrassing.” He said, reaching up to gently grab your wrists, keeping them in front of his face, he looked down, almost ashamed. “I gave you the idea of fake dating for my own selfish desires. I literally tackled my best friend because I thought he was hurting you.” He sighed, and then looked up at you, tears brimming his eyes, “I’m so fucking sorry.” Your heart squeezed in a way that it had never squeezed before. He squeezed your wrists, not in a painful way, but in a pleading way. He was pleading with you for your forgiveness.  

“Ji… Although what you did, was not the smartest-” You sort of laughed, “I know you were trying to help me. And yeah Minho was being a dick. I really don’t know what his deal is. Me and I never dated. I don’t know why he had his panties in a twist about us.” He looked up at you, You had messed up. You had said that like you were in a real relationship with Jisung.  

He smiled, “Us?” You blushed and looked at the floor, embarrassed beyond belief. “You know, I was so pissed when he brought you around. And when he was fu-” He trailed off, sucking in a breath, “When he brought that girl home on that day he was supposed to go with you on that date. And I found you… sobbing. I… I was so fucking pissed at him. You were crying so much, I just tried to make you feel better. I didn’t like to see you upset then and there’s no way in hell I will let you cry like that over a man ever again.” He finally stood up, standing as close to you as he possibly could, but not touching, not yet. 

“Could I hug you?” The tears that were pooling in your tear ducts, finally let out, You nodded. He lightly laughed, he wrapped his arms around you, “Why are you crying?” He looks over you, bringing a hand up, wiping your tears. You shake your head, wrapping your arms around him. The two of you hold each other for a few moments. 

He pulls away, looking at your face, “We’ve been fake dating for the past two and a half months, but I think I’ve loved you way before that.” You blushed, “Y/n will you be my for real girlfriend now?” You laughed, “Of course, I will be your real girlfriend now.” He smiles, “Would there be any way that I could get our first real hug and real kiss in one night?” You playfully slapped his arm, “I supposed so…” You joke, He grins, “Hell Yeah!”

He pulled you closer to him by your hips, almost shoving his face onto yours, gently taking your lips into his. Kissing you playfully yet gently, like you were going to disappear if he were to open his eyes. 

“Annddd that’s how your father faked his way into my life.” You say to your daughter. It was her wedding day, She’s in her beautiful wedding dress. She truly makes a wonderful bride. “Oh Mama… Your guy’s love story was so inappropriate!” She laughs, making you smile, “Well Honey you didn’t get here on your own” You smile, laughing at the dirtiness of your story, of course you spared a few details, but only a few… 

Jisung bursts into the bride’s room, “AWH MY DAUGHTER! ALL GROWN UP! GIVING HER AWAY?? WAHHHH!! HOW WILL I HANDLE THIS?? MY LOVE? WHAT ARE WE TO DO? OUR DAUGHTER!!” Jisung whines, shaking you by your shoulders and causing your daughter to laugh. “Dad! Come On!” He stops shaking you, softly looking at you, and then looking at his daughter. “My girls are so beautiful. I’m so glad I faked it till I made it.” 

Just to explain some things, Yes the whole story was past tense, and yes jisung liked you before the whole fake dating thing happened. ok goodbye, I love you thank you for reading <3

[almondkatsuki]

Say yes to heaven

hyunjin x reader. seven minutes in heaven except you're heartbroken and hyunjin has a huge crush on you. angst and softness and slightly suggestive in the end.

cw: mention of drinking alcohol and cheating. reader has lipstick on.

part 2. say yes to me

Hyunjin's legs are aching from sitting crisscrossed for so long. The music reverberates loudly, bouncing off the walls in Changbin's house. You are all playing truth or dare, a gathering of twenty people or something. But he isn't keeping count of anyone around. His eyes are fixated on you.

You are downing your drink, nudging Chan's side so he'd pour you another shot. He understands why you feel the need to forget, to fog up your mind until the world around you blurs. Your ex Suho, the one you had just broken up with two weeks ago, is kissing someone else, right in front of you. Hyunjin doesn't care enough to see who it is, his heart clenching at the sight of the tears brimming in your eyes.

You are hurt, rightfully so. Hyunjin never understood why you've ever dated Suho. He never cherished you, never treated you the way you were deserving of. Because you were beautiful, so beautiful it rendered Hyunjin putty in your hands. Though that was merely the surface of everything captivating about you.

The bottle is spined again, and Hyunjin's breath catches when it lands on him... Then you.

"Seven minutes in heaven!" Changbin shouts and you roll your eyes, before standing up and heading first into the closet. Hyunjin follows closely behind.

He closes the door, plunging you both into pitch darkness. Your hands find his arms suddenly, gripping them tightly.

"You okay?" he asks, concern dripping from his tone.

"It's really dark," you whisper, and Hyunjin's brows furrow further.

"We should leave," he suggests, moving to open the door but you pull him back. "No, no. Let's stay."

"But you're scared."

"It's okay. You're here."

"Is this about Suho?" Hyunjin asks tentatively, after a few silent beats, and he can hear you suck in a deep breath. He knows he just hit a sensitive chord.

"Yes."

One.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," he whispers, placing a reassuring hand on your back.

"Save it. I won't make out with you," you reply, sudden anger lacing your words. Hyunjin understands it's just your walls being put up so he wouldn't dare peek behind them.

"I know," he says softly, and your hold on his white shirt tightens. You're both so close, his chest is almost pressed to yours. Can you hear how wildly his heart is beating?

"Fuck, I'm sorry Hyune," the nickname slips from your mouth, sweet and familiar. He missed hearing it. Missed what you had before Suho came into the picture. "I'm just really really hurt," you admit, tears glistening in your eyes.

"Do you want me to fight him? You know I would," he tries to keep his tone soft even though raw anger simmers within him.

"You don't even know what he did," you chuckle weakly and he shakes his head. "He made you cry. That's enough for me."

Two.

You stay silent, but your forehead rests on his chest, as slight tremors shake your body. Your wound was still so fresh, and seeing Suho tonight only made matters worse. But Hyunjin's body is warm, and his arms tightening around you feel safe. You think you can face your ex again if he's by your side.

"Please don't cry," he says, hands reaching up to smooth down your hair, as his chin rests atop your head. He's so gentle with you, so sweet, more than Suho has ever been in your relationship.

"I'm sorry, this isn't what you signed up for," you apologize, but you can't find it in you to pull away. Instead, you wrap your arms around his waist, drawing him nearer to you.

"It's okay. This is nicer." You can't see him, but you can hear the smile in his voice. His smile is always so pretty, and his perfume is making you dizzy. You've drunk too much.

Three.

"How have you been?" you ask, fingers drumming gently along his back. Hyunjin doesn't know how he managed to speak normally to you up until now. Not when you've intoxicated him, when all he could feel in this cramped up space was you.

"Good," he finally manages to say. "And you?"

"I'm good. I missed you," you admit, and his heart seems to pause within his chest.

"You're drunk," he dryly chuckles but you shake your head against his chest. "I know what I'm saying. I'm sorry for taking my distance these past few months. The truth is... I didn't have enough energy to be a good friend, it was draining me to deal with Suho."

"Don't apologize. There is nothing to forgive."

"You promise me?"

"I promise."

Four.

You're full-on hugging now, arms tightly intertwined around one another, and hyunjin thinks this is his heaven- to bury his head in your hair, to smell the sweet scent of your shampoo.

"You smell nice," you mumble, cheek resting right across his chest. "Why is your heart beating so loud, Hyunjin?" you ask curiously, eyes closed.

Hyunjin thinks if he stays silent enough, then you'll forget you've ever asked. Because he can't bring himself to lie to you.

"You smell nice too," he settles on saying. "You look really pretty too."

"Thank you, Hyune." That damned nickname again. "I think... I think you're making my heart beat faster too," you mumble and Hyunjin shuts his eyes closed. You are killing him, stabbing him, and twisting the knife deeper inside his heart. And he's allowing it because it's you.

Five.

"Why do you think he cheated on me?" you ask, voice barely audible, and Hyunjin has to try his best not to storm out right now. He had guessed it was bad, but not this horrible.

"Don't. Don't ever think it was your fault. It wasn't. It could never be. It was his," he speaks the words firmly as if trying to drill them into your mind, erasing every wrong belief you held about yourself.

"Do you mean it?"

"I do," he leans away, cradling your face between his hands. He's so gentle. his voice and his touch and his existence. How could one be so gentle to you?

"You are everything someone would ever dream of. If I were him I would..." he cuts himself off, before saying something stupid; something that would tip the scale of your friendship.

"Finish it, finish what you were saying," you plead, voice shaky and he can't find it in himself to say no.

"If I were him, I would never let go of you. I'd do everything, anything to make myself worthy of you, of your love."

Six.

"Can I try something?" you ask tentatively, and Hyunjin feels as if the world stopped spinning around him. The outside world doesn't exist anymore, all he knows is you.

"Yes," he whispers, voice raspy, and you nod. Your shaky hands reach up to trace his face, cupping his cheeks gently. You're standing on your tippy toes, and Hyunjin can feel your breath fanning over his skin, feel goosebumps burst across his body. And then, the most tender kiss, placed on his cheek.

Your lips linger, pressing into his skin and marking it up for eternity. His hands find your sides, they're trembling, but they're warm and they feel nice to you.

You gulp, before kissing his cheek again. And then, you trail down, your lips finding the corner of his mouth. Hyunjin's knees buckle underneath him. It's too much, colorful dots cloud his vision and he hasn't even drunk anything.

Your hand curls around the nape of his hair, and then you brush your lips against his neck, slowly, deliberately, as if testing the ways in which you could drive him insane. You've succeeded, he wants to say. He's yours to do anything you want with.

Seven.

"Time's up!" Changbin's loud voice rings outside of the closet, and it snaps you both out of your haze. You stumble back, fingers brushing tentatively across your lips. It feels as if your entire body is on fire, even though your kisses were innocent, tentative. But you're feeling more than you've ever did with Suho.

"Hyunjin, I-" The door pulls open, sudden light flooding your vision. You can finally see the evidence of your kisses- crimson imprints on his cheek, trailing down his neck, giving way to a flushed chest. He's so pretty. And you've marked him up for everybody to see.

"We'll talk later, okay?" Hyunjin smiles, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.

"Okay."

Seven minutes felt like seven lifetimes for Hyunjin. And he'd live them all with you, love you in each if you'd let him. He'd do anything so you'd let him.

⁀➷✧･ﾟ

part two