ambagelbraindump

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beauty & the beast aesthetic

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Proper boundaries

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2 months!

hi so uh. I have a girlfriend now???

#both excited and nervous about the big 3 #bc apparently 3 months is significant as far as relationships go #as is 3 years #we're gonna do a picnic and I'm going to spend the night at her house next weekend :) #hi I'm gay

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You know that idealized version of yourself that haunts you with guilt about what you haven't yet become?

They didn't show up.

They don't deserve your praise.

The you who is reading this made it here, despite everything.

This you is the garden worthy of your love and effort.

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blegh. google maps lied to me and said there was a starbucks here but it either doesn’t exist or is inside a building I don’t have access to

#I’m exhausted I’m hungry I just want to fuckin sit down

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thinking out loud

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don’t talk to strangers on the internet or else you might end up doing things like getting on a metro train at 5 in the goddamn morning and having the time of your life

#shit’s wild #all of this because of one tumblr dm #I know it’s so much more than that (years of forging deep and meaningful friendships) #but it’s still very funny to me #and endearing

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"Are you ok?" I'm actually tired bro. From the bottom of my heart I'm tired

#ME

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You know what, since I'm thinking about it anyways, let's talk formalwear accessories. Most of these are traditionally menswear but a bit of gender fuckery is good for the soul, and frankly most of these are about making your mass-produced clothing fit and lay properly without having to go to the tailor.

Shirt stays: these go around your thighs to hold your shirt down, so that it stays smooth and tucked in. They're usually elastic, with 1-3 clips, and if you wear skirts frequently this is a GREAT way to make sure your top doesn't ride up. The clips will be visible if you're wearing something tight, so loose pants or skirts are where these do best. There's also an insane version that clips to your socks, but that is for lunatics. If you wanted, you could also use one of these clips to hold up thigh-highs.

These do a great job of smoothing and narrowing the waist area by keeping your shirt from bunching there.

Sleeve garters: usually metal, leather, elastic, or silk. These are usually worn with button-down shirts to adjust where your cuff falls on the wrist or hand. They're properly worn on the upper arm, and you pull the fabric of the sleeve above the garter until you cuff is where you want it. Because this creates a puff of sleeve at the bicep, it also broadens the appearance of the shoulders. It's great if you're working with your hands or if your sleeves are often too long for your preference.

Waistband clip or belt adjustment clip/buttons

Three different ways of tightening the waistband of a pair of pants or a skirt. You're not going to get more than an inch or so tighter without weird bunching, and for most of these you'd want them to be hidden under a shirt or jacket, but they do the job if that's something you're having issues with.

Collar pins: There are so many fun ones out there, both with and without chains. They're not terribly practical, though the slight weight may help keep your collar where you want it. Also consider collar tips, which pin (surprise) to the very tips of your collar points.

Sweater clips/guards: meant to hold your sweater or cardigan mostly closed. Great if your cardigan doesn't button, or if you don't like it to be buttoned all the way.

There's tons of other stuff out there like this--etsy is a great place to find this stuff. A lot of these are old solutions to the very modern problem of mass-maufactured clothes not being as one-size-fits-all as advertised, but they're also a fun way to put a bit of personality into businesswear.

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#reblogging to my personal for reasons #and those reasons are: lobster fisherman book

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“I miss talking to you call me when you have time” -my mom yesterday

ok do you miss me or the version of me you created in your head? Are you willing to engage with your leftist genderweird child who won’t put up with bullshit? Will you listen to me talk about my girlfriend and my drink making and my friends I met online who are so extremely dear to me, without getting weird about it or changing the subject? Will you separate yourself from the man who has hurt / continues to hurt all of us, or will you just continue to enable and defend him because it’s “too hard” to do otherwise? Will you accept the fact that I’m no longer christian and do in fact have beef with god? Do you accept me, or only pretend to so you can wriggle back into my life and then do a 180 and eat me from the inside out? Do you want me, or someone else? Make up your mind.

#hi I’m at the emergency vet w milo #‘I miss you’ no you miss a version of me that doesn’t exist anymore or never existed in the first place #engaging with you is not safe for me any capacity #I’m sorry

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can you infodump to me? (i love you) is this overwhelming? (i love you) is this the right texture? (i love you) is it ok to touch you? (i love you) do you want the subtitles on? (i love you) do you want to go somewhere less noisy? (i love you)

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feelin really good and mad about it bc all I had to do was exercise a bit

#I know that’s not how depresso expresso works and it’s likely a number of things #but I’ve gone for short runs / walks on the treadmill today / yesterday #and already feel better

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i watched one (1) video on how to draw hands that changed my life forever. like. i can suddenly draw hands again

these were all drawn without reference btw. i can just. Understand Hands now (for the most part, im sure theres definitely inaccuracies). im a little baffled

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actual conversation I had during dnd yesterday

my dm: what kind of dad stuff does teeth do to comfort these kids?

me: magic tricks, trying to make them laugh, showing them cool rocks

my dm: abigail . those aren’t normal dad things.

#one time my [wretched creator] #convinced a kid at church that he was actually an alien #and brought him an alien rock (from the parking lot)

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other than being horribly stinky I’m really happy with this, like it feels like it’s always been here / is an integral part of my home now