ambitiouspa

[ambitiouspa]

I GOT IN

OCTOBER 17, 2022

PHONE CALL FROM THE ADCOM CO-CHAIR

GOLD ENVELOP IN THE MAIL WITH A PERSONALIZED MESSAGE FROM THE ASSOCIATE DEAN

IT'S REAL. THIS AMBITIOUS PA IS BECOMING AN AMBITIOUS MD.

[ambitiouspa]

"I would rather be right than consistent." "Out of intense complexities, intense simplicities emerge." "The problems of victory are more agreeable than those of defeat, but they are no less difficult."

-Winston Churchill

Some quotes I read recently in a Churchill biography that I think apply to aspects of critical care medicine.

[ambitiouspa]

the Sydney Method

[ambitiouspa]

first interview

Had my first interview this past week. I think I killed it. Like seriously nailed it. I think I'm pretty much for sure getting in. Can't find out until October, but after yesterday I think I can say for sure that I am not only going to med school, I'm going to a good med school. Another interview next week, and waiting to hear back from the rest.

[ambitiouspa]

Bloom's Wheel

from JHU (https://ep.jhu.edu/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/ep-blooms-wheel.pdf)

[ambitiouspa]

Waiting

As of July 21, I have been fully submitted to 31 medical schools. MCAT done (and KILLED!), primary done, secondaries done. Now I just wait, desperately hoping someone will want to interview me. One year from now I will be about to start medical school...somewhere. How bizarre is that?

[ambitiouspa]

SCORE!

I never came back to report on how it worked.

Well...it worked! I got a 515 (125/131/129/130). 90th percentile!

I literally *sobbed* when I opened the score report. A million times better than my best practice test. Within an hour I had hit submit on my entire school list (the score release came out the same day as the earliest day to submit my primary). This score means I am, without a doubt, going to medical school next year. I have no idea where, but it's happening.

[ambitiouspa]

The Final Week + The Test

I took the MCAT on April 29, 2022.

AAMC FL #4: 506 (122/129/126/129)

I spent my final week taking another practice test (above) and reviewing it, and then mostly reviewing information I'd already learned, going hard at my Anki decks, watching KA videos, but also taking breaks. I didn't have a ton of motivation. I did spend a day dedicated to C/P and math review, with some help from my partner who took one of my practice Kaplan tests (just the C/P section) and pointed out some common thread and math tricks.

The day before the test, I was an absolute slug. I just laid in bed almost all day. I ate Chick-Fil-A (my favorite comfort food). I pet my dog. I did do a practice run drive to the testing center, which I do think was kind of helpful.

Test day, I arrived 35 minutes before start time and found a large crowd already waiting. I was the oldest person there to take the MCAT. By a lot. I wore my work jacket for good luck with my hospital's name on it, and some girl asked me if I went to the school. "No, I work there."

The guy working the front desk was super nice and tried to crack jokes to cut the tension. We were called up one-by-one (they had us take a number at the front) and they confirmed our ID and took a picture. Then you put your personal items, snacks, etc in a locker and got screened one last time before they took you into the test room.

They provided noise-canceling headphones, but I found they were quite tight, so I alternated between leaving them off, wearing them, and wearing some earplugs they provided. I learned some people are nervous clickers.

I took a little extra time on most of the breaks because I always have extra time anyways. I peed every time just so I could get out of the room. I paced around the waiting area and ate my snacks. I looked out the window at the sunshine. I told myself I was doing fine.

C/P - Hard. Which I expected. I didn't feel like my brain was awake for the whole section. I made a lot of guesses. None of the neat tricks my partner taught me came in handy, unfortunately. Afterwards, the subreddit was blowing up with people talking about how hard it was, so I can only pray for a curve. I hope for a 125, but I've scored lower than that on a practice test so who knows?

CARS - Brain still waking up for the beginning of it, but I felt it went well. It's always my easiest section. Hoping for a 129.

B/B - I started really getting into the groove of things. There were some questions I thought were really easy gimmes. There were some hard ones, too, but overall I felt good about it. Hoping for a 128. Maybe even higher?

P/S - Not bad at all. The subreddit was saying this section was super hard too, and calling it CARS 2.0. That's probably why I think I did well. Hoping for a 129, but maybe if others bombed it I could get bumped up? It would be so cool to crack 130 on at least one section.

So assuming worst case scenario of 123/128/126/127, I'd get a 504, the same score as my worst practice test. Assuming best case scenario of 125/130/129/130, I'd get a 514, my dream score. Realistically, I'm somewhere in between, which is a pretty decent place to be.

Now, onto the application itself!

[ambitiouspa]

MCAT Prep Week 7

AAMC FL #1: 507 (125/129/126/127)

This week I took my first AAMC FL, which was super disappointing because I didn't see that huge score jump everyone else seems to see. I'm trying to remind myself of what I said week 1:

I want a 508-511. Just enough to get my application in front of the eyes of some adcoms.

I also received a really kind and encouraging note on SDN from some rando who also went PA to MD. He got into a good school with a 503, and he's got kids and a spouse and he says it's all worth it and totally doable. So I'm hanging onto that.

This week I did my best studying since probably like week 2. And I sensed I was burning out so I took yesterday off. Definitely getting better at dusting myself off after a practice test kicks me in the teeth, definitely getting better at letting myself take breaks when I need them.

This test has fucked with my head intensely. I've been mean to my partner. I haven't cared about anything else since this started. I haven't had room. I've almost convinced myself to reschedule (thank gods I didn't), I've almost convinced myself to quit (same). But I've remembered some tougher parts of me I haven't seen in a while.

Talking with my therapist last night, I realized that while those parts of me are great and deserve to get to show up, I'm older and more mature now and I can find a way to bring in other parts that are softer, kinder, more creative, less driven. He told me as soon as the test is over I need to return to those creative parts immediately and feed them, or I'll risk burying them again, and I only just rediscovered them.

Week 6 progress: Anki, most of 86-page KA P/S doc, reviewing written notes from all Kaplan books, memorized amino acids.

[ambitiouspa]

MCAT Prep Week 6

I took another practice test. Didn't move the dial at all; technically went backwards. Unlike last time where I got really sad and depressed, today I felt numb. But then I remembered that there was an excel sheet out there which had shown score comparisons between people's Kaplan and real MCAT scores, and while I did see some low jumps like 3 and 4, most were around 10. Multiple websites have said except a 10 point jump. So yet again, here I go getting back on the horse. You can't break me.

Anki is going well, but now I'm transitioning from Kaplan to AAMC resources. I was trying to stay Kaplan-only out of frustration and on the principle (and also sunk cost fallacy, smh) but I'm eating that cost, swallowing my pride, and setting off in another direction.

I'm posting a day late, but I'm going to be watching Khan videos, reviewing the Kaplan quicksheets, looking over the 86-page doc, and doing my Anki. Tomorrow, an AAMC FL so I have something really worth reviewing wrong answers on, and also so I know what my real score is.

Week 6 progress: 516 anki cards. Kaplan FL 3: 504.

[ambitiouspa]

MCAT Prep Week 5

This week I learned how to use anki. I downloaded a couple of popular decks, culled a lot of the cards. I went through my C/P books and made flashcards for the topics I'd written notes for. I went through my P/S book and made flashcards off the outlines at the end of each chapter. I REALLY wish I'd started with the anki sooner. I could have been studying at work. I could have been keeping what I read those first four weeks fresher in my mind. I could have spread the reading out and not gotten so burnt out. Oh well. I'd say live and learn, but this will be my only tango with the MCAT. Maybe someone else will find this and learn from my mistake.

I'm so tired, but I still think I can do this. I keep wondering if I should push the test back a couple of weeks. For one, it would cost me $200 (although this whole process costs a LOT more than that). But also I worry about running completely out of steam. Sure, I could study another month and almost certainly get a higher score. But if I'm projecting at a 511 (based on Kaplan +5), and I'm not exactly aiming for Harvard, what's the benefit of getting a 514? I can't imagine I'd go any high than that anyways since I'm never going to get better at C/P. So I'll keep going. I'll learn what I can. I'll read those CARS sections more carefully. I'll cover as much P/S as I can. I'll memorize my amino acids, I'll know meiosis and mitosis and transcription and translation, and I'll get a good enough score and go to fucking med school.

Week 5 progress: P/S 12 chapters. 190 anki cards.

[ambitiouspa]

MCAT Prep Week 4

This past week was rough. So much else going on in my life. Full time job, plus two side gigs. My motivation was sapped. I made it through the last of the biology book, but not well. Didn’t do anything else. I have a lot coming up this next week too, but it’s April now so I have to knuckle down. Learning how to do Anki. Going to use my Kaplan questions. All gas, no breaks. This is for my future. If I can get a good enough MCAT score, I’m basically guaranteed an interview at School E. This matters. What I do this month matters. 

Week 4 progress: Biology 4 chapters.

I did another practice test (technically a different week, but intended to represent the completion of my content review except for P/S). Can't lie. I'm very disappointed in the results.

506 (124/128/127/127)

[ambitiouspa]

MCAT Prep Week 3

Okay, I made a realistic school list of 37. Unless I have some great reason to drop any of these schools, this is where I'll apply. So I'm going to spending most of June pre-writing secondaries!

This week was shortened because of trying to rearrange the week around my test date being a Friday, and was also a much busier week for me personally in my other jobs/roles. That said, I did manage to get all my planned reading done. I did not take a practice test like I'd intended. I might try to do that tomorrow. Studying for the MCAT while working a full-time job, while running more than one "side-hustle" (I'll just keep that vague)... it's really hard. Really, really hard. And I know how important my MCAT score is, so it's scary knowing I only have 5 weeks left to make this happen.

This upcoming week will be the last of my content review (the final chapters of biology, plus almost all the chapters of P/S). The next phase I'm planning is using questions that came with my Kaplan set, making and using anki decks, and reviewing my hand-written notes from the Kaplan science books. And lots of practice exams!

Week 3 progress: Biology 3 chapters, Biochem 6 chapters, Gen Chem 6 chapters.

[ambitiouspa]

MCAT Prep Week 2

I'm working on my schools list. I have it narrowed down (ha!) to 59 schools. I've been slowly telling people. So much support, even from the people I didn't think would be behind me. It's starting to sink in. I am going to med school next year.

I've realized I need to take different approaches to different sections, because not all of these Kaplan texts work for my brain. Biology - these are good; taking practice test at beginning, reading all the text and taking notes, filling out the mini worksheets, and reading the summaries Biochem - second best; trying practice test, reading almost all text and taking notes, filling out some mini worksheets, reading most of the summaries O chem - decent; skimming text, reading high yield, taking some notes, skimming summaries (I got really on a roll with these this week) Gen chem - sucks; skimming text, better-skimming high yield, taking some notes, skimming some summaries Physics - sucks; skimming text, better-skimming high yield, taking some notes, skimming some summaries CARS - I'm already above target in this section, so the text isn't good for much; just very lightly skimming the whole thing. Chapter 8 was pretty good (wrong answer pathologies).

The idea is to really triage and make decision about what I'm actually going to learn or not learn. Because whatever I commit to learning, I have to learn it 100%. Showing up with 75% of the material 75% remembered won't help me as much as learning even 50% of the material 100%. I'll get what I can out of the books, and then move on to other resources. But I'm also going to leave a lot of topics where they lay.

Week 2 progress: Biology 2 chapters, Biochem 3 chapters, Gen Chem 3 chapters, O Chem 9 chapters, Physics 10 chapters, CARS 12 chapters.

[ambitiouspa]

MCAT prep week 1

This is intended to serve as a record and maybe even a guide. The internet is full of dumb undergrads and MS1s who were literally just dumb undergrads who think they're experts on the process of becoming a doctor. I know for a fact that I'm going to med school next year. There is no plan B. So with that in mind, I started MCAT prep this week, and I only have 8 weeks to prepare (I graduated from my undergrad bio degree in 2014, btw). I'm not gunning for a 528. I want a 508-511. Just enough to get my application in front of the eyes of some adcoms.

I started by buying the Kaplan MCAT self-study package. (Yes, I know the But Actuallys on the internet will tell me there are better resources for certain sections. I'm not worrying about those yet.) Then I read a couple of chapters for a warm-up, and took a practice exam.

504 (125/128/125/126)

Taking the test helped me realize that this isn't really a test of knowledge, but of application. Great. I've been applying my science knowledge for six years now. Take that, undergrads. So I switched up my study priorities. I'm only trying to jump up a couple of points (the But Actuallys will chime in with predictions of how much a Kaplan score should go up on the real MCAT, or tell me the AAMC tests are a better gauge of how I'll do, but I'm just keeping it simple and pretending the Kaplan score is my real score as if I took the MCAT today). I didn't like chemistry or physics the first time, so I'm sure as hell not trying to become an expert. I'll stick to the high-yield topics there. My study plan is to read all the Kaplan books, rotating chapters between books, until I've finished them all. Biology gets read in detail, with notes written in the margins, answering all the questions, etc. Biochem gets the second-most attention. O chem next, then gen chem, then physics. For physics, I'm only reading the high-yield sections and the chapter summaries. In other words, I'm playing to my strengths and counting on those strengths to carry me.

Week 1 progress: Biology 3 chapters, Biochem 3 chapters, Gen Chem 3 chapters, O Chem 3 chapters, Physics 2 chapters.

[ambitiouspa]

Differentiation

I've decided this ambitious PA is going to become an ambitious MD. Everything I've tried up to this point has been a band-aid on the fundamental wound of not going to med school the first time. Self-doubt, my inner misogynist, the voices around me... I let them talk me out of it once, twice, three times, a dozen or more. No more. I'm taking the MCAT April 29, 2022. And then I'm going to med school.

[ambitiouspa]