anarchyloser

[anarchyloser]

[anarchyloser]

we talk a lot about ohhhh what if my calling is to be the greatest mammoth hunter ever and I'm wasting my talents in the modern era but we never think about what if Thog from 30,000 BCE was the only person ever born who could get a sub-7min Donkey Kong Country any%, and he never got the chance. what about thog

[anarchyloser]

“Circe?”

“Yes Odysseus?”

“Where’s my crew?”

#dnd group chat went wild for this #its so funny i love that my friends get me

[anarchyloser]

“Circe?”

“Yes Odysseus?”

“Where’s my crew?”

[anarchyloser]

I have a folder called Time is a Flat Circle in which I collect evidence of humanity. Here is most of them.

[anarchyloser]

uhhhh reverse Delicious in Dungeon. Disgusting in Restaurant. nothing's edible

[anarchyloser]

Once while I was at work a grown ass man told me "no matter how tough you act you'll never be a man, just like I'll never be a woman" and I know he MEANT like "I'm tougher than you because women are weak" but I heard it in Queer and went "Oh.... sweetheart" and he just completely recoiled it was insane

[anarchyloser]

#i think about this but with my cats and SOB #theyre a bonded pair. have barely been seperated since birth literally only for vet appointments #they arent as cuddly with each other as they used to be but they still do most things together #they even eat together (theyre free fed and dont have to) #but like. unless something bad happens one is going to die first #and thats so so so sad to me theyre brothers! twins! shared a womb! have lived their whole lives together! #how is one supposed to go on without the other. how is he supposed to eat and play and be happy with his other half gone #god damn it made myself cry thinking about it again

[anarchyloser]

[anarchyloser]

When you hear a new song on the radio and you’re desperately trying to pick a notable phrase so you can google it later

[anarchyloser]

You roll up to the Wizard Battle and your opponent takes out his spellbook but it’s just one of these

[anarchyloser]

Remember, if you haven't felt the first edible in 5-10 minutes eat two or three more

#me except edibles dont work on me #i took like 350-375mg (cant remember for sure) and the most that happened was i got a little sleepy 4 hours later (i was awake over 30 hrs) #i think the 400 mg tednivision nerd rope wouldnt do shit to me #like smoking and other stuff my natural tolerance is just slightly higher than average. edibles? normal candy to me #for the non stoners that see this 20mg is the highest dose id ever let my freinds that rarely smoke take #and thats starting at 5-10 and taking more every 30 mins-an hour #im shrimply built disserent (i wished they worked so bad if anyone has advice PLEASE)

[anarchyloser]

If a worker who isn't the owner says ANYTHING similar to "I'm not really supposed to do this but-" and then does something that helps you, under no circumstances inform the business, including through reviews. You tell them that the worker was polite, professional, the very model of customer service and why you like to go there. You do not breathe a word of the rulebreaking.

#this includes not fliming waffle house cooks if they make you pancakes #please i almost got fired for that i dont CARE that youre drunk i did a little silly thing you begged for and you snitch? #asshole.

[anarchyloser]

If a worker who isn't the owner says ANYTHING similar to "I'm not really supposed to do this but-" and then does something that helps you, under no circumstances inform the business, including through reviews. You tell them that the worker was polite, professional, the very model of customer service and why you like to go there. You do not breathe a word of the rulebreaking.

[anarchyloser]

i feel bad for bigender people, the commute between Jupiter and college has got to be rough

[anarchyloser]

When vampires are portrayed as mainly preying on women that's so unrealistic like I'm sorry but they're too careful especially around strange men. Dudes are much easier. You could literally lurk in a bush in the park at night and call out "whoa look at this fucked up looking squirrel" and have 3 grown men climb in immediately

[anarchyloser]

fucking love when I'm on a call with someone and they start to do a little errand or go somewhere else and they say "and you're coming with me" like. absolutely I am let's go on an adventure I've been spirited away

#i love doing this with my friends #if im on video call ill put them in my pocket with the camera facing out so they can see what we're doing #its a fun little adventure with your pocket sized friend!