angelixapzs

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Roasted chicken, ginger, daikon, shiitake mushroom soup with lime, cilantro, broccoli sprouts, and rice noodles

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diciembre be like 🫠

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Disney Villains lockscreens/wallpapers

please like or reblog, if you save :)

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Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas wallpaper. Directed by Tim Burton

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ESPECIAL DE HALLOWEEN 🎃

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Super Heroes

Series by Penglong Gao

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Dreamlight Valley Flower Guide 🌺 🌹 🌸✨

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Disney Dreamlight Valley Cooking Guide ✨

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inject it

THE LITTLE MERMAID (2023)

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On Craigslist, Missed Connections, The MOST Brilliant Story I've EVER Read. Please Help Him Find HER.

You had a googly eye and a fine leather jacket - m4w - 27 (El Paso)

Date: 2012-03-19, 1:39AM MDT Reply to: [email protected]

All I remember of that day, roughly October 23, 2011, were the lights rushing past me and people’s heads turning sharply while I drunkenly ran away from that Mexican bar downtown (Viva Villa) and the fucking screaming 21 year old throwing her shoe at me roughly around 1 pm. If I remember correctly, her name was Valerie, and I think she was probably insane, I remember that quite vividly - that and coming to a screeching halt as I turned a blind corner and found myself in front of the county courthouse and booking station - wondering if all these fine officers looking directly at me knew what Jägermeister smelled like.

Small mounds of Jägermeister accumulated on my face, merged and left puddles on the ground between my steps, fuck: I was sweating it out right before their twisted faces. I tried turning around but the drunken banshee was making amazing headway, even with one shoe on, and very soon I was sure she’d be barefooted and armed with the other one - ready to slobber and beat the hell out of me. How had this happened? Only hours before, we were drinking her Four Lokos (which were new to me. For those as equally unfamiliar with this beverage, they’re a sordid 23 oz canned concoction of 40 cups of sugar, 12% alcohol and 88% guaranteed watermelon flavored trouble), shooting my whiskey and rum, and making terrible phone calls to her ex-boyfriends. Now, a short and stout angry White shoe-wielding locomotive of Spanish vulgarity was hunting me down, following the Jägermeister pouring out me, like one of those fucking scavengers you see on The Discovery Channel, chasing down the trail of blood left by an injured baby hippo as it tries to make its way to the blue river. Salvation lay in slipping not into a river, but into a sea of blue; a sea of accusatory and suspicious boys in blue waiting for me to stumble, slur or faint. They just glared and showed their fangs and adjusted their bibs…lunch time. I managed, although very awkwardly I might add, to slip into the thick waters of savagery, amidst the gnashing, snarling mean little fuckers in blue who were hungrily watching my exaggerated steps - ardently dying to pounce and devour every piece of me if I happened to slip, mistakenly fuck up or simply lose my cool and give in to the maniacal screaming and terrifyingly obscene and frantic running that was already taking place inside my rapidly unraveling mind. I managed hide myself beneath the upper canopy of attentive heads, cleverly pretending to tie my shoelaces for about forty-eight minutes. And her… well I have no idea where she went – and hence this post.  Did you get arrested? Did you avoid capture as well? Did you recover the shoe you had thrown at me? I heard [from a few people] a few days later you ended up biting someone and quickly lost the few friends you had. Also, I saw you a few weeks later as well at Lips Lounge, but I failed in an attempt to establish a coherent conversation that would’ve answered these questions. If I remember, after having only one drink, you accused me of stealing your leather jacket and I got caught inside another maelstrom of unknown Spanish words of surely objectionable nature (which made your googly eye stray and sometimes jiggle somewhat akin to the giblet of a very angry turkey), you spat in my face and proceeded to mumble something while making clicking noises – and I got politely escorted outside.  If you are, or if anyone knows the whereabouts of the short young lazy eyed spawn of holy hell itself, please respond. I’m currently on a hiatus from alcohol, but am planning a very drunken and dangerous expedition in about 4 month’s time, and am looking for fellow heavily inebriated but adventurous souls to traverse very close along the lines of alcohol poisoning and am sure you’d make an interesting companion in the terrifying and dizzying voyage we’d embark on. You have a remarkable ability to launch shoes with amazing skilled dead-eye accuracy (no pun intended), and an uncanny skill of running through a crowded sidewalk, both while being pist drunk, and anyone with those type of qualifications will most definitely be needed. I’ve since then have had quite the number of slippery, drunken adventures downtown but not once have I ever run into you again, which is disappointing as I’ve invested very heavily in the purchase of gallons of holy water and antiseptics specifically intended for my defense upon our next encounter. Please respond quickly as I’ve nearly completed making all preparations for this; I’ve got a safari hat and a pair of knee high boots – both which will be perfect for jungle, the elephants and the mire of consequence we’d surely be facing.

This is JUST too Brilliant. I figure I’d help this poor schmuck out! 

Its like a REAL LIFE CINDERELLA! Please Re Blog El Paso!

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Find me

#missed connections

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Yo Soy BatHombre - or as the Villagers call him “el Diablo Murcielago”… the Bat Devil.. 

He’s not really the Friendly Neighbourhood Gotham BatMan… He’s the Mexican Crack house & teQuila businessman Bernardo Wanye…

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So I just learned 5 minutes ago that "/pos" is a tone indicator for "positive" :)

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Shimmering Mermaid Lockscreens

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book aesthetic

//requested

edited by me

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My Kofi -> https://ko-fi.com/wallpaperrequest