annotatedsonichu
The Annotated Sonichu
Sonichu is a semi-autobiographical comic book, published online between 2004 and 2009 by Christian Weston Chandler. To facilitate a better understanding of this work of sequential art and its creator, this blog provides detailed notes on each page.
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Sonichu #4, page 8 (S-8)
CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: ...Ha!!
JERKHIEF: Aaaaah!!!
This page reprints Sonichu #0, page 42. From my notes on this page:
As we previously saw on page 31, the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha attack causes tremendous pain to the victim.
This is the first of many splash pages in Sonichu which are oriented perpendicularly to the rest of the art. Chandler always presents such pages sideways, as they wiould appear if collected into a printed comic book, which is unnecessary for a series that has to date been web-exclusive. I have compensated to save you the trouble of tilting your head to one side.
I try to avoid overanalyzing Chandler's artwork, since it speaks for itself. However, I cannot help but point out the lines representing the edges of the floor tiles; none of them are even remotely straight. I don't expect Chris to have any particular mastery of perspective (although I should expect it from someone with a CADD degree), but one would think he could have at least used a ruler.
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Sonichu #4, page 7 (S-7)
CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: Give up now, leave me alone, and we can end this battle!
JERKHIEF: No way! I'm not done with you yet!
SFX: Bang!
CAPTION: *Barrier*
CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: "Fuzzy-wuzzys get you hugs; prickly-wicklies get you slugs!"
CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: You gave me a slug, so you get my secret ultimate attack!
CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: Curse-ye...ha-me...
This page reprints Sonichu #0, page 41. From my notes on this page:
Ostensibly, Chris-chan Sonichu has the same moral code as Chandler's childhood heroes, who never seek to start or escelate a fight. Hence, once the Jerkhief is clearly defeated and no longer a threat, Chris-chan offers an olive branch rather than going in for the kill. However, it is soon apparent that Chandler is less interested in having mercy than in saying he does.
Following the outlandish nature of the battle from the past few pages, it is somewhat jarring to see the Jerkhief actually draw a handgun and fire it at Chris-chan. Considering Jerkhief was just moments ago trying to destroy Chris-chan with a guided missile, I probably shouldn't be so perturbed that he is firing his sidearm in the middle of a busy mall. Still, this is a bit like seeing Wile E. Coyote dispense with the Acme catapults and simply pick off the Road Runner with a sniper rifle. I cannot believe anyone has ever been forced to draw a firearm upon Chandler, which simply reveals that these dramatizations of his run-ins with the law have him seeking to blow everything out of proportion.
Chris-chan Sonichu naturally deflets the bullet without any difficulty--again, considering what the Jerkhief already threw at him, this is really a pitiful last stand. The situation is frankly unchanged--the Jerkhief is just as helpless now as he was when Chris made his peace offering. But now he has an excuse to be vindictive, and he will relish in it.
Chris's remark about fuzzy-wuzzies and prickly-wicklies seems to be derived from the short story "A Warm Fuzzy Tale" by Claude M. Steiner; the story illustrates the wisdom of the Golden Rule, although Chandler's reference to it instead echos the concept of "tit for tat." Chris attempted to be forgiving, and was shot at for his trouble, so now he's going to repay the Jerkhief in kind. Thus, all of the supposed honor and nobility suggested in panel 1 is immediately out the window. There is no need for Chris to attack the Jerkhief any further--the gunshot was never a real threat to him, and his enemy is clearly beaten--but he is determined to make the bastard pay. His "secret ultimate attack" is of course no secret to us, as we have already seen the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha in action before. Soon we shall see its true power unfold.
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Sonichu #4, page 6 (S-6)
CAPTION: *Double Team*
CAPTION: *Laser beam*
CAPTION: *Mirror Coat*
CAPTION: *Thunderbolt*
JERKHIEF: My armor!
This page reprints Sonichu #0, page 40. From my notes on this page:
Chris-chan Sonichu seems to possess all of the powers of Pikachu, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Sonichu, in addition to a few of his own unique attacks.
As with many battles in the Sonichu series, this one is woefully one-sided and mercifully short. No effort is made to create any sense of danger that the Jerkhief could win. As far as Chandler is concerned, the drama is simply that Jerkhief is bothering Chris-chan in the first place.
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Sonichu #4, page 5 (S-5)
JERKHIEF: OK... now watch me! Metal armor, equip!
SFX: Tick tock tick tock
CAPTION: *Rocket Punch*
CAPTION: *Mega Kick*
SFX: *clunk*
CAPTION: *Back Missile*
This page is reprinted from Sonichu #0, page 39. From my notes on this page:
Mr. Chandler is nothing if not sporting--even though the whole point of this story is to recreate events more to his liking, he grants the Jerkhief powers to offset the advantages of Chris-chan Sonichu.. I don't recognize Jerkhief's metal armor as being based upon any specific concept from a video game or television series. However, it feels reminiscent of a video game mini-boss, right down to the missile launcher on his back as a deterrent against leaping over him. I would not be surprised to learn that there is an enemy in the Sonic the Hedgehog games resembling this design.
As seen in Sonichu's battle with Zapdos, action sequences in this series consist of the combatants acting out special attacks like a turn-based game such as Pokemon or an RPG. Jerkhief fires the right fist assembly of his armor at Chris-chan, who dodges it by leaping up onto Jerkief's head and delivering a Mega Kick. When Chris completes his acrobatics, he is behind his opponent, who fires a missile from his dorsal-mounted launcher. Clearly this battle has now escalated far beyond the scope of mall security simply trying to remove a loiterer from the premises.
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Sonichu #4, page 4 (S-4)
CAPTION: Chris-chan Sonichu
CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: "Here we go! Let's rock 'n roll" with "things that make you go hmmmm..."
CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: "Everybody dance now!"
CAPTION: *Ref. to C&C Music Factory*
This page is reprinted from Sonichu #0, page 38. From my notes on this page:
Transformation sequences are a staple of superheroic children's television, particularly in low-budget programming where there is an obvious benefit to recycling the same footage in every episode. Chandler has demonstrated an affinity for many series that utilize this trope, whether the sequence summons superhuman powers (He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, Sailor Moon), giant transforming mecha (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers), or even a simple wardrobe change (Filmation's Ghostbusters). It is unsurprising that his author character in Sonichu would have a similar routine for preparing for battle. If this sequence is based on any specific TV series, I haven't been able to identify it, although it is strikingly similar to that of Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon.
Chris-chan Sonichu's battlecry is...unorthodox to say the least. He is of course quoting the titles of three hit singles released by C+C Music Factory in 1990-1991. I can only assume that this is an example of his "random-access humor," or perhaps an attempt to sound totally radical and irreverent like his hero Sonic the Hedgehog.
His citation of his quotes is misguided; either his audience will understand the reference without the aid of author's notes, or they won't get the joke without an explanation and therefore the joke should not be made at all. This is a concept Chandler will fail to grasp on multiple occasions throughout Sonichu's publication history.
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Sonichu #4, page 3 (S-3)
CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: I'd better transform, quickly!
CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: Electric-hedgehog power!
CAPTION: *Sonichu medallion*
This page is reprinted from Sonichu #0, page 37. From my notes on this page:
This is some of the worst panel-to-panel storytelling in the series thus far, so I should probably break down what's happening.
Chris glances from side to side and realizes a Jerkop is about to catch him by surprise with handcuffs. The handcuffs fail to snag him, though, as he quickly moves both his arms out of the way. He then kicks the Jerkop in the groin, ending that threat. Almost immediately, Chris has another Jerkop approaching him from behind, but he deftly takes this man out with a blind backhand strike. Realizing he won't get another chance, he quickly places his hands on his chest and summons the Electric-hedgehog Power through his Sonichu medallion, which begins to glow with an energy that soon envelops his whole body. His arm is transformed, and then he grows the familiar blue quills and tail of his alter-ego, Chris-chan Sonichu. The remainder of the transformation is on the next page.
As noted, the use of handcuffs suggests this story represents an incident in which Chandler was really handcuffed in Charlottesville Fashion Square on September 11, 2004. He has claimed he was arrested but did not have to go to jail, but Chris may have simply been handcuffed by the mall's security team. It's not clear if actual law enforcement officials were ever truly involved. We'll probably never know since Chandler makes no distinction between private security and actual police; to him the real police are the ones who never bother him.
In this version of events, no less than three Jerkops (including the Jerkhief) are assembled to apprehend Chris, and he makes short work of two of them. Presumably nothing like this happened in real life, as he would have been in far worse trouble if he'd struck even a private security guard. His desire to do this, though, is readily apparent. Also note Chris's obvious willingness to fight dirty with the cheap low blow in Panel 5. For all his talk about being a hero who fights for true love and honesty, he understands nothing about honorable combat except that it's all fair unless it's being done to him.
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Sonichu #4, page 2 (S-2)
CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: (narration) And those evil Jerkops won't leave me alone either! I'm just a lonely, frustrated virgin, looking for true love! *sigh*
JERKHIEF: Hey! I'm calling you out!
CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: Huh?
JERKHIEF: I'm so sick of your complaints and tears! On and on about how lonely you are, and how you need a girlfriend! You're nothing but a lowly liar, you solicitor!
CAPTION: Shock!
CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: How dare you, you jerk?! I am only looking for true love and trust!
CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: So, just leave me alone, you villanous Jerkop!
JERKHIEF: No dice! My fellow Jerkops will fight you, and force you to leave!
CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: I don't want to fight, but if necessary I will defend myself!
JERKHIEF: Cuff him!
This page is reprinted from Sonichu #0, page 36. From my notes on this page:
This is only the first time Mr. Chandler will openly discuss the fact that he is a virgin. His frank use of the term is particularly jarring in normal society, as he is essentially bringing up his sex life (or lack thereof). This is a classic indicator of Chandler's behavioral problems, as he is more committed to his peculiar terminology ("boyfriend-free girl," "virgin with rage") than he is to figuring out that other people find his speech patterns strange and unrelatable. His introduction of the subject of his virginity presents an opportunity to consider the true motivation of his Love Quest--as much as Chandler desires the opportunity to love and to have children, he more desperately, urgently wants to have sexual intercourse.
Panel 2 introduces the Jerkhief, whose name indicates he is the "chief" of the Jerkops, at least in Charlottesville Fashion Square. Jerkhief is surely based on a specific person Chandler has dealt with in real life, although his rank may only be based upon his significance to Chris rather than any actual authority over his comrades at the mall. The Jerkhief is consistently depicted as a towering, obese, bespectacled man with brown skin. (His race is not explicitly addressed in the pages of the comic, although it is the subject of much analysis given Chris's attitudes about non-whites expressed in other sources.) Panel 2 seems to present him from an extreme worm's-eye perspective, which may indicate that Chris's first impression of him occurred while he was seated.
The Jerkhief's motives appear to be intentionally vague--he makes it clear that he is "calling you out" as opposed to confronting Chris about some specific infraction or misconduct that would fall under his purview. This is not business for the Jerkhief; it's personal. However, whereas Chris's enemies usually have no rational basis for hating him, the Jerkhief makes a surprisingly compelling case in panel 4: He's sick of hearing Chris wallow in self-pity and he's going to shut him up. This is more motivation than most Sonichu villains will ever receive, which is surprising since it's unlikely the Jerkhief's real-life analogue ever bothered to say anything like this. I suspect Chandler invented this dialogue himself, effectively attacking himself for his own shortcomings, which he has done elsewhere.
Chris's shocked reaction is believed to be based on a running gag in Excel Saga in which a character repeatedly displays a similar overreaction. He of course completely dismisses the Jerkhief's other points to focus on the semantic technicality that he is not a solicitor, in the sense that he is not soliciting sex. In his various writings from this period, Chris expresses extreme dismay that anyone would accuse him of this when he is obviously just looking for innocent romance and companionship. This reasoning only goes so far, though--Chris's ultimate endgame is to bed whatever young lady he attracts with his methods, so in a roundabout way he is indeed soliciting his sexual services to strangers.
Chris's statement that he will only fight as necessary to defend himself is probably an exaggeration. It is probably more accurate to say that Chandler wants to fight and win, but when he realizes this possibility is remote his priority is saving his skin. In his own accounts about this sort of conflict, Chris makes it clear that he is very brave when he's planning to confront an enemy, nervous when actually doing so, and all too willing to flee and declare victory if he escapes. Of course, much of the point of these sub-episodes is to re-enact his run-ins with Jerkops in a setting where he has power enough to do the things he wishes he could have done.
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Sonichu #4, page 1 (S-1)
CAPTION: Drawn March 24, 2005
TITLE: Sub-Episode 1: Christian Chandler in "Jerkop-tastropie"
CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: (narration) *sigh* Well, it's been over 1-year and 7-months, and...
CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: (narration) ...I still have not attracted a boyfriend-free girl!
CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: (narration) This love quest makes me suffer some frustration...
CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: (narration) ...And the other things that add to that are my lonliness, so many failures, and all those men, other than myself, because they have taken all the pretty girls, leaving me with none to choose from!... *sigh*
LEGAL: All Sonichu material is copyrighted, March 2000-2005 by. Christian W. Chandler
This page is reprinted from Sonichu #0, page 35. From my notes on this page:
This is the first of serveral back-up features in Sonichu which star the author instead of the titular hero. To distinguish these tales from the standard fare of the series, Mr. Chandler identifies them as "sub-episodes" instead of "episodes," and even gives them their own special page numbers. This makes it unexpectedly annoying to get an accurate page count for each issue.
Chandler appears to have coined the term "sub-episode" on his own, as I can find no appearances of the word in this context except in reference to Sonichu. It is not clear why he felt the need to use this word, although he abandoned it somewhere between finishing Sonichu #4 in 2005 and starting Sonichu #5 in 2006, because his mother made him promise to stop doing sub-episodes. I would imagine Mrs. Chandler's meaning was that Chris should stop making any comics about his real-life misadventures, but this was not to be.
There are a total of eight sub-episodes, with the first four each appearing in Sonichu #0-3 and the remaining four debuting (along with reprints of the others) in the all-Chris special Sonichu #4. All of them involve Chris pursuing his Love Quest in Charlottesville, and most of them are directly adapted from true events. This one appears to be inspired by the incident in which Chandler was handcuffed at Charlottesville Fashion Square on September 11, 2004, although the story refers to those events as having happened earlier.
The title "Jerkop-trastropie" appears to be a portmanteau of "Jerkop" (itself combining "jerk" and "cop") and "catastrophe," although since Chandler is making up his own words here it is difficult to tell if he has misspelled "catastrophe" or something else entirely.
The one year and seven months described in panel 1 apparently describes the amount of time between August 2003 (the "official" beginning of Chandler's Love Quest) and March 2005. This would mean the story is set in the same timeframe as it was drawn; however, there is no way to be absolutely certain Chandler is referring to August 2003 in the first place. It is not inconceivable that the story is meant to be set weeks or months in the past or future.
We see Chris standing around in Charlottesville Fashion Square, probably just outside a store near a bench. He is wearing headphones connected to his Nintendo DS. This is consistent with an eyewitness account of Chandler's attraction methods, published in February 2006:
Once upon a time, there was a guy who paced in front of Abercrombie & Fitch. He'd come and do it for hours on end, just walking back and forth. He was an okay-looking guy, not evil-looking like Creepy Molester Dude. So he would pace for his allotted time, then leave. Sometimes as he paced, he would sing or shout. Nobody really could ever tell what he was saying. Oh yeah, and he always wore the same shirt, a nice little long-sleeved red and blue number that had a gold crest on the left side, and white collar and cuffs.
Eventually, I guess he got bored of just pacing like that, because he started to bring his Gameboy SP with him. He had his headphones hooked up to it. So he would pace like that, all the time. His peak hours were usually between 2:oo and 4:00, and he usually left by 5:00.
As previously noted, Chandler's strategy involved going to public places to make himself available for women to talk to him, and to then do as little as possible to actively engage them. Unsurprisingly, this approach yielded no results.
It is a common refrain in Chandler's writings from this period that he resents all men (excluding himself and very few others) for having claimed all of the "pretty girls." We've already covered Chris's intense fear that the women he approaches will tell him they are not single. Here now, a darker twist is added as he has come to irrationally hate half the population of the planet. His bizarre misandry resembles nothing so much as a hormone-addled beast that can settle for nothing less than to be the dominant male with exclusive mating rights among the entire pack. This frame of mind only adds fuel to the fire sparked whenever a male authority figure interferes with his Love Quest, as we shall see.
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Sonichu #4, inside cover
All Sonichu Material is Copyrighted March, 2000-2005 by. Christian Weston Chandler.
*Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the Sonichu Comics, except that of Christian Weston Chandler, that may seem similar to anyone in real life, are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic.*
This is the standard legal disclaimer introduced in Sonichu #1.
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Sonichu #4 cover
TITLE: SONICHU
CAPTION: A Sonichu Special: CWC's Love Quest Saga
CWC Comics / #4 / Drawn Nov. 2, 2005
MARY LEE WALSH: You'll never get away from lonliness! Ha! Ha! Ha!
JERKHIEF: My wooden badge was delicious!
SIGN: Virginia is for virgins
BAGGET: True love is illegal in Virginia!
LEGAL: All Sonichu Material are Copyrighted March, 2000-2006 by Christian W. Chandler.
As the text surrounding the logotype indicates, this is a special issue of Sonichu dedicated not to the title character but rather the author, Christian Weston Chandler, and his Love Quest. Admittedly, nearly every issue of Sonichu has something to do with the author's search for a girlfriend, but Sonichu #4 is unique in that is entirely devoted to the subject, with Sonichu himself all but ignored. Out of 94 story pages in this issue, the yellow electric-hedgehog Pokemon only appears in six.
Sonichu #4 collects all eight of Mr. Chandler's "sub-episodes," re-presenting the four that appeared in Sonichu #0-3 as well as four new ones; as a result, the first new story in this issue does not appear until page 43. Chandler's motives for doing this are unclear, although in mid-to-late 2005 he appears to have accumulated a backlog of sub-episodes without any main episodes for them to supplement. That still would not account for his peculiar decision to run "reprints" in a comic book that has yet to be printed at all.
In any event, this marks a turning point in the series, as after this issue the sub-episodes cease and Chris shares the main storyline with Sonichu. Also, this is the last issue in which Chris will be depicted without a character serving as his love interest.
The composition of this cover is probably indirectly based on the familiar cliche of a pathetic figure walking in the dark through a montage of images he's seen and memories he recalls. The trope is commonly used to depict a drunkard stumbling from bar to bar, and is typically traced back to a scene in the 1945 movie The Lost Weekend (although that movie's alcoholic is wandering in daylight in search of a pawn shop to fund his next drink). The concept was repeatedly referenced on The Simpsons, and this is likely how the author picked it up and failed to connect it with the context of alcoholism. In this case, the intent is to depict Chris valiantly (but painfully) proceeding wherever his quest takes him, enduring whatever torments he may face along the way.
The faces taunting Chris are Mary Lee Walsh, the Jerkhief, and Bagget, all of whom play a substantial role in this issue's stories. Bagget is introduced late in this issue as a fictionalized version of Marcus Baggett, the police officer who arrested Mr. Chandler in July 2005. The red marks on Chris's face and hands presumably represent whatever minor injuries he claims to have suffered during that arrest.
The phrase "My wooden badge was delicious!" is among the least understood statements that Mr. Chandler has ever written or uttered; perhaps for this reason it is also among the most popular. When asked about the phrase in 2008, the author responded by elaborating upon the construction of the badges used by the Jerkhief and other Jerkops, described in pages 57-58 of this issue. No mention was made of why the Jerkhief would eat his badge in the first place, or why this statement would merit inclusion on this cover.
The sign reading "Virginia is for virgins" is an ironic inversion of "Virginia is for Lovers," the slogan of the state's tourism department. This, along with Bagget's assertion that "True love is illegal in Virginia!" point to the author's growing paranoia that the entire commonwealth is determined to prevent anyone, particularly himself, from experiencing either romance or sex.
The corner box depicts a new character, Crystal Weston Chandler, the imaginary twin sister of Chris made manifest in Sub-episode 5. Unsurprisingly, the author portrays his twin wearing a striped shirt identical to his own, and a Rosechu medallion reflecting the Sonichu medallion he bears. There isn't room here to thoroughly analyze Crystal, but suffice it to say that her role both here and throughout the series is stand around and feel sorry for Chris.
The two white shapes in the lower right are the wing-shaped hair clips that were introduced in Sub-episode 4, when Chris used them to defeat the B-Manajerk. Their placement on the ground foreshadows their fate in Sub-episode 5, when they prove less helpful against the W-M-Manajerk.
Barely visible in this piece is the image on Chris's belt buckle, which upon closer examination is revealed to show the faces Sonichu and Rosechu. This appears to represent the actual belt buckle Mr. Chandler fashioned in the mid-2000s, although the Sonichu/Rosechu portrait is different.
#sonichu issue 4#sonichu issue 4 (new material)#cover art#christian weston chandler#chris chan#cwc#crystal weson chandler#mary lee walsh#jerkhief#bagget
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[meta] Mailbag 8
In general, I think passing judgement on Chris is a pointless exercise, made even more pointless by our limited view of the man. Good or bad, Chris is Chris and few people will ever really do anything about it. I do think there's a tendency for observers to project their own issues onto Chris, and base their judgements on that. That said, it's just as bad to try so hard not to identify with Chris as to declare him (or either of his parents) an unrelatable, inhuman monster.
I'm sure the Chandler family's situation is not uncommon in the United States, but I wouldn't call it banal. Our understanding of the household is limited, but it's still enough to see that the family has a compulsive hoarding problem, which has no doubt contributed to issues with their poor hygiene and increasing social isolation. There are aspects of their squalor that can't be confirmed just from videos and secondhand accounts; for example, I'm certain some of Chris's cats are feral, and that he smells terrible, but I don't know. Nevertheless, the squalor itself is all too clear. Again, I don't judge the Chandlers for these things, because I don't know what factors brought them to this point, but I definitely think they should not have reached this point at all.
This is the first time I've heard of Henry Darger, who was discovered upon his death in 1973 to have spent decades creating a collection of writings and illustrations now celebrated as "outsider art." Although Darger's work is taken seriously by the artistic community, those of us familiar with Mr. Chandler cannot help but notice that he lived in isolation, surrounded by garbage, tracing magazine advertisements to produce images of little girls with penises. I would argue that the artistic merit of Darger's self-expression is greatly augmented by the curiousness of the self being expressed. If you've noticed that this is a central theme of this blog, you'll probably want to learn more about Mr. Darger.
What does Chris's work say about the sources he appropriates for inspiration? More than anything, I think it says that those sources do a poor job communicating anything meaningful that would help someone like Chris be a better storyteller or artist. Sonic and Pokemon teach him how to market toys and games--so every action sequence becomes abstract, turn-based combat and the only plot twist he knows is to introduce new characters, powers, and vehicles. Monty Python and Adult Swim have taught him how to break the rules to achieve surreal humor without showing what the rules are in the first place, leaving him ignorant of humor altogether.
This shouldn't come as a surprise, though. The internet is littered with people like Chris whose creative vision is narrowed by a myopic interest in "geek culture" or "genre entertainment." Mind you, that's not meant as a slight to those interests. However, if you're only influenced by five or six somewhat similar sources, your work is going to be extremely derivative, especially if those sources have overlapping fandoms isolating you from more unique perspectives. For example, I would imagine Mr. Darger's science-fiction epic would not be so highly regarded as "mad genius" if he'd based it all upon nothing more than Star Trek and Lord of the Rings.
I've alluded to this before, but I think Chris's biggest obstacle is his inability to understand how he is different from others. I don't think the autism itself is as much an issue as his failure to see it's an issue. For example, I think Chris is intelligent enough to figure out that trolls want to trick him, but he lacks the self-awareness to admit to himself "OK, I've fallen for a lot of tricks, autism makes it difficult to tell when people are deceiving me, so I need to be especially careful." Instead, he seems to have blanketly decided to assume that everyone he doesn't know is a troll. That's close enough to keep him safe from online trickery, but the reasoning is very specious, and avoids the real issue to protect his pride.
His lack of discipline is the other major problem holding him back. Chris is at least capable enough to hold down a full-time job or even court a girlfriend, but he doesn't want to put in any effort for these goals or sacrifice anything to attain them. He wants an easy job and a hot, loose girlfriend, and he wants to get them by waiting for them to fall in his lap. He's spent a decade trying to get everything for nothing instead of learning to compromise and possibly get anything.
If Chris could overcome those two issues (and I grant this would be no simple task), the rest wouldn't be so difficult for him to live with. Self-awareness would keep his gullibility, narcissism, and megalomania in check; discipline would would combat his indolence, disorganization, and poor health. From there I think he could easily work 9-5, and interact with people without seeing them as factions in a conspiracy to determine his romantic future. Admittedly, this would assume his internet reputation wouldn't haunt him in real life, but I don't think the average Wal-Mart HR manager is going to pore over Sonichu.com for hours during a background check.
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[meta] Mailbag 7
Sorry, but I prefer for this blog to remain anonymous.
It's been a while since I received this, so I'm not sure if you're asking about some specific incident. In general, I find /cwc/ a fun way to keep up with Chris, and there's decent commentary on the rare occasion that there's anything new to comment on.
What makes the board amusing is its borderline paranoia about troll shielding--that is, the concept that any troll could actually be a lolcow pretending to be a badass troll to protect himself from being trolled. Ever since /cwc/ discovered A-Log, there's been an increasing mentality that anybody who thinks too hard about Chris is as big a loser as Chris is. Given that /cwc/ is by definition a forum full of people who think too hard about Chris, this mentality is somewhat self-defeating.
I'm pretty sure many of the board's users don't grasp that irony, so /cwc/ is like a circular firing squad where half of them are shooting blanks but nobody knows which half. Depending on your point of view, it can be pretty entertaining.
I think you've summed up how we all see Sonichu, but Chris just doesn't see it that way. To him, Sonichu is what makes him special, and the baggage that came with it is secondary to that. Assuming that he even makes the connection between Sonichu and his misfortunes, he would still never abandon the Sonichu concept altogether, because then he wouldn't be special.
In this sense Chris fancies himself as a genius whose work is initially ridiculed before it is ultimately appreciated. The difference, though, is that a real genius is brilliant enough to see which ideas are worth the ridicule, while Chris endures ridicule because he thinks his idea will prove that he's brilliant. That's why he wouldn't just come up with a new idea; he'd still need to justify the effort he invested into the first one.
For this reason, I'm astonished Chris has gone this long without a sustained effort to promote Sonichu and secure the wealth and fame that would vindicate him. But this Facebook post suggests that he has shifted his approach: Instead of assuring himself that Sonichu will succeed, he's sitting around assigning blame to others for why he cannot do the work to make it succeed. Either way, the same basic self-delusion colors his opinion of his creation.
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[meta] Mailbag 6
Now that Sonichu #3 is wrapped up, I'll be answering some questions before I get into Sonichu #4. If you're just joining us, you can send in questions whenever you want, but I tend to only answer them between issues, in no particular order.
Speaking of Sonichu #4, if you don't already know, the first 42 pages of Sonichu #4 are reprints of the sub-episodes from issues #0-3. Reprints in a webcomic are pretty pointless, since you can always go back and click a link to read them, but that's what Mr. Chandler did and that's the way it is. With that in mind, I will be following suit and re-posting those 42 pages, in the interests of providing the most accurate examination of Sonichu #4, redundancies and all.
In other words, The Annotated Sonichu will be doing summer reruns for a few weeks before we get back to the gripping conclusion of Chris's battle with W-M-Manajerk. I realize this may be inconvenient, to have to slog through stories you've already seen on your Tumblr dashboards not that long ago, but I'll try to make it as quick and painless as possible.
On with the questions:
No problem; I can see why you'd want to get it over with.
Sonichu was originally posted on two websites, "CWC's Sonichu Site!" and later "Cwcipedia." The first was repeatedly hacked and taken over by online trolls; the second was created for him by online trolls in order to manipulate him. Both sites were ultimately abandoned and shut down, but they're currently archived on Sonichu.com a troll site dedicated to preserving Mr. Chandler's works. All 11 issues of Sonichu are available to read here, in a section of the Cwcipedia backups.
There are three problems with that link, though. First, the layout for navigating from comic to comic and page to page is atrocious. Second, in 2009 Chris made numerous edits to issues #0-7 (renaming characters and so forth), apparently discarding the original pages. Third, the "Sonichu Special" issues, four stories that were leaked to the public, are not on Cwcipedia, so you have to dig around elsewhere on Sonichu.com to find them.
Although a lot of effort has been made to preserve this material, there hasn't been as much of an effort to organize the comic pages into a comprehensive, easy-to-use site where you can be sure nothing is being left out. That's one of the reasons I'm doing this blog, to fill that need. For now, if you hunt around Sonichu.com you can read ahead. But hopefully in about a year or so this will be the best place to read the comic.
For those who don't know, Sonichu #8 features Episode 17, which depicts a lengthy, graphic love scene between Sonichu and Rosechu, as well as other explicit sexual content. Up to that point the series had been only slightly more "adult" than the average Sonic the Hedgehog comic book, so Mr. Chandler created three different versions of the story. The adult (TV-MA) version is the whole, unedited story; the teen version (TV-14) is largely unabridged but heavily censored; and the kiddie version (TV-Y7) simply omits about half the pages.
Almost immediately after the comic was released to the public, trolls seized upon the obvious attack vector of pretending to be outraged that a comic for children would even approach the subject of sex. At the time, Chris's internet fame was taking off and he wanted to believe at least some of the people obsessing over him were legitimate fans, so he quickly caved in by pulling the issue and re-editing it into a single, less raunchy format.
This is a perfect example of what I was saying above, because over the years it has been fairly difficult to locate all three versions of Episode 17. I can't just say "The whole thing is available to read right here." All of the pages are in tact in the archives of Chandler's first website, but you have to know which filenames you're looking for. I had to collect all those images for this project, naturally, and it proved to be somewhat more challenging than I expected.
The uncensored, TV-MA version of Episode 17 is a whopping 71 pages long, and my plan is to write a post for each of those pages. Where a particular page has multiple variations, I'll include them so that the reader can easily see the differences. (Unlike Mr. Chandler, I think we're all adults here and we can handle seeing Rosechu's badly drawn nipples.) I'll probably tag each page according to which versions of the story it was included in, so that you can see how much shorter the TV-Y7 edition was, if you like.
Lately I've been pretty struck by my realization a couple of weeks back that the all the Sonichu characters know they are Chris's creations and revere him like a god...except the villains, whom Chris didn't create in the first place. The only bad guys I can think of that are not a) based upon real people, b) lifted directly from some other work of fiction, or c) redeemed by the end of the series are Count Graduon and Beel. In fact, even Beel gets a little speech in issue #10 where it's made clear he resents the evil he serves, and only does so because he is literally a devil. That just leaves Graduon, who would be utterly helpless without the aid of the others.
So that fits into what I think is the broad theme of Sonichu--it is the purest expression of Chris's desire to play God in a world of his own making, and to make the choices he would have God make. As the creator of Cwcville, Chris does not permit disease or wickedness to flourish among his children. The only way that bad things can happen to good people in Sonichu is when people who exist apart from his authority invade and disrupt his world, and even then they can do very little that he cannot immediately repair. In this comic, Chris has complete control, which is in sharp contrast with his real life where we frequently see him as a man who is often raging impotently against forces beyond his control.
That's all for now, but I'll be responding to questions for the next few days. Feel free to send in more.
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Sonichu #3, back cover
A Message from Christian W. Chandler:
I hope that you have enjoyed the sample episode in this FREE COMIC, of the Sonichu Comic Book. I take great pride behind my Electric-Hedgehog Pokemon, Sonichu, and all the other characters in the City of Cwcville.
I want Sonichu to be more than just on paper; I want him in his own video game, cartoon show, and other fine merchandise. Although, I have already made some fun Sonichu items of my own, but I feel the public should be able to share in the Zappin' Fun!
If you would like to see Sonichu as a real video game too, or catch him in a Pokemon title, please send your request to Nintendo of America, inc., or Nintendo Power magazine; please raise the hype on Sonichu so that I will be able to legally talk to the people of Nintendo of America, inc., and make a deal with them.
Thank you for reading the FREE SAMPLE of the Sonichu Comic Book. And as Sonichu says, Let's Zap to the Extreme!
Once again, the back cover of this issue is the special message page used in Sonichu #1 and 2.
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Sonichu #3, page 44 (S-14)
W-M-MANAJERK: (off-panel) Not if I have a say in the matter!
CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: What...? Who goes there?!
W-M-MANAJERK: (off-panel) I am the one who rules the Mal-Wart Region! I am the one who will destroy all your pitiful hops in ever getting a girlfriend of your own!
W-M-MANAJERK: Where those clowns have failed, I shall triumph!
CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: *Gasp*
CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: Oh, my...
W-M-MANAJERK: I am the W-M-Manajerk! Ha! Ha! Ha!
CAPTION: To be continued...
Sub-episode 4 has, up to this point, been based upon the author's conflict with two McDonald's managers on June 20, 2005. However, this page blends that story with the author's subsquent conflict two days later at the same McDonald's.
One can imagine that the store's managers that confronting Mr. Chandler, reporting him to the police, and banning him from the restaurant for the rest of the day would be sufficient to shame him into staying away, at least for a few weeks. However, according to the author's diary, he simply returned on June 22 "to set up my things" as though nothing had changed.
B-Manajerk (or rather, the man that inspired the character) again confronted Chris, and this time went to one of the managers of the Wal-Mart that leases space to the McDonald's. Obviously, "W-M-Manajerk" of the "Mal-Wart Region" is that Wal-Mart manager.
This is the first real cliffhanger in Sonichu; until now every episode that leaves plot points unresolved has been in the same issue as its conclusion. I can only speculate that W-M-Manajerk is a last-minute addition, and that Mr. Chandler realized that he could not adequately feature this new villain in Sub-episode 4 without making it far too long (this is already the longest sub-episode to date at fourteen pages). Most of the first seven issues of Sonichu run around 40-50 pages in length; I suspect this is deliberate, and the author made some effort to constrain his narratives to fit that format. Note that while Sub-episode 4 runs quite long, Episode 11 (which precedes it in this issue but was completed much later) seems to end rather abruptly, as if to fit within the page count. The point,then, is that Mr. Chandler seems to have felt that he has run out of room for this issue, and must save the rest of this story for Sonichu #4.
It's not clear why the W-M-Manajerk announces himself over an intercom speaker before making his full debut. It seems unlikely that this could be based on any actual need to use the store's intercom to respond to Chandler's real-life antics. Perhaps this is simply the most economical way for the author to dramatically tease the character before revealing him at the bottom of the page.
W-M-Manajerk is essentially designed to be a disembodied head floating inside a glass tank that is attached to a powerful robot body. This appears to be inspired by the cartoon Futurama, a series set in the 31st century which features contemporary and historical figures through the conceit that their living heads have been miraculously preserved in a "Head Museum." In particular, the late Richard Nixon (or rather, his head) is at one point mounted atop a similarly imposing robotic body, although W-M does not appear to borrow from that design.
Consider Chris's defiant (if apprehensive) stance on this page as he awaits his new enemy. Although he's concerned about the prospects of battling W-M-Manajerk, he looks resolved to do so. After having fought so valiantly to defeat B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic, he is loathe to abandon what he struggled so hard to gain. Of course, this forces us to ask what Chris has gained, and what he can hope to accomplish by continuing to stand his ground. He is essentially taking a defensive posture in the lounge of a McDonald's, as though he can realistically hold this territory indefinitely by beating up anyone who tries to take it from him. This is ridiculous, particularly since he must inevitably go home and abandon his foothold whether he can defeat the W-M-Manajerk or not.
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Sonichu #3, page 43 (S-13)
MERRIED SEINOR COMIC: Ah, he got you too, eh?
B-MANAJERK: Shut up!
DARKBIND SONICHU: Well, Chris, I have to go, but I am glad that I was able to help you in this battle!
CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: Thank you, D.B.
DARKBIND SONICHU: I'm off!
CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: Now, as for you two manajerks, the pain that you both are feeling now should be punishment enough for going against me in my quest for a boyfriend-free girl to love and trust! I do not care about your rules, either of you, or any male, other than my father and myself! But let me make it perfectly clear that in my quest, it is very hard for me to find a girl due to the infinitely-high boyfriend-factor! And I do not want to risk getting a punch in the face from a jerk! Also, since the ladies are unable to notice my person, because they mostly have shopping on their minds, I have to loudly spell it out. So, please, just leave me alone with my Love Quest!
B-Manajerk has apparently fallen to the ground just inches away from the spot where Merried Seinor Comic has been left dismembered and helpless by Darkbind Sonichu. Befitting his name, the Comic seems at worst bemused by their defeat, whereas B is rather frustrated.
Darkbind's reasons for suddenly leaving are as mysterious as the circumstances that brought him here (yes, he wanted to help Chris, but that doesn't explain why he was in the vicinity). It is as if the character somehow understands that Chris will no longer need his assistance, without foreseeing that the battle is far from over.
With the crisis resolved, Chris reverts to human form to lecture the manajerks about the folly of their actions against him. This is perhaps the largest block of text in Sonichu up to this point (though far larger ones will appear later in the series), and it indicates the author's growing need to make his motivations clear to his persecutors. In previous sub-episodes, Chris lashes out against the Jerkhief and Mary Lee Walsh primarily to put an end to their interference, but here he wants B-Manajerk and Merried Seinor Comic to know why they are wrong to oppose him.
One can infer the author's frustration with the real-life events that inspired this tale. In reality, Mr. Chandler backed down from the McDonald's managers, but he no doubt wished he could physically force them to listen to his side of the story. In Sonichu, at least, he gets his wish. The irony, though, is that these versions of his tormentors--created and directed by himself--will never be made to understand his point of view, and are arguably more hard-hearted than the real men who confronted Chris in 2005. There is no use in lecturing these two villains, and our hero must surely know this; his speech can only be meant for the consideration of the reader.
The speech itself is one of the pinnacles of Mr. Chandler's anti-social tendencies, as he rejects all authority that restricts his whims and condemns all men except those within his immediate family. His logical leap from the difficulty of his quest to avoiding being punched in the face by a jerk would sound especially delusional and paranoid to the uninformed. This is exactly the sort of rambling that makes it impossible to comprehend Chandler's thoughts without guides such as this one.
The "infinitely-high boyfriend-factor" is one of Mr. Chandler's most recognizable neologisms. The "boyfriend-factor" is simply the condition that some of the potential sweethearts in Chris's Love Quest already have boyfriends, which naturally reduces the available candidates. It is "infinitely-high" insofar as Chris is (or, at least, was in 2005) convinced that this issue has an extreme effect on his quest--that any given woman he contacts will almost certainly have a boyfriend who will surely assault him out of jealousy.
It should be obvious to the reader, however, that the real factor at play here is simply Chris's fear, and the manner in which he allows it to prevent him from actively seeking what he wants. Nevertheless, the infinitely-high boyfriend-factor is the central justification for his Love Quest methodology. Chris simply cannot approach single women out of fear they may not be single, so he must passively wait where they can find him. You can almost feel the author's irritation that he cannot make anyone understand this.
So it's all the more laughable that Chandler sabotages his own plea for sympathy (and make no mistake, these sub-episodes are purely designed to convince the reader to pity him) by blaming the failure of his methods on women. Rest assured, if Chris cannot attract mates by sitting in a Wal-Mart McDonald's, listening to music on his headphones (most likely with his head down), it is not because he is sending the wrong signals (i.e., "I do not wish to be disturbed") or that female passers-by simply find him unremarkable or creepy. It is because women are all shopaholics so blinded by amazing deals that they are oblivious to handsome young men seeking their affections. It does not seem to enter the author's mind whatsoever that his target audience may be preoccupied with shopping because he is trying to encounter them in shopping centers.
Chris's remark about having to "loudly spell it out" refers to the various signs he carried with him explaining his need for a girlfriend and requesting that women approach him. The "Attraction Sign" was the greatest point of contention between Chandler and those opposing his Love Quest, since it represented the firmest legal grounds (solicitation) for removing him from public places. It's clear here that the author by this time realized the need to explain the sign's intended purpose, but still failed to see that no explanation would ever be sufficient.
Although no such sign appears in this story, the events that inspired it seem to have resulted from Chris using one. In his account of his June 20, 2005 altercation at McDonald's, Mr. Chandler said that when the two managers left to call the police, he quickly hid "the sign from my Nintendo DS" (most likely this one), and denied its existence once the police arrived.
#b manajerk#christian weston chandler#darkbind sonichu#merried seinor comic#sonichu issue 3#chris chan sonichu#sub episode 4
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Sonichu #3, page 42 (S-12)
CAPTION: *Sky Uppercut*
B-MANAJERK: Noooooo!!!
CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: For love, trust and a girl for me, I shall smite thee!
Having fallen for Chris's PixelBlock decoy, B-Manajerk has left himself wide open for Chris's Sky Uppercut attack. (It's worth noting that Chris has never flown under his own power before this story, yet he has already mastered Pokemon attacks that require flight.) It's difficult to make out, but it appears that this final blow has knocked B-Manajerk's rocket pack loose from his armor, causing it to fly upward and away from him.
B is probably screaming in terror because he realizes that he may well fall to his death; we can assume this because this page shows us that our combatants are in the corner of a room approximately ten stories tall. The signage in the lower right corner is meant to resemble the McDonald's logo but clearly says "M-C-D-ville," the name of this location as suggested at the beginning of the story.
Chris's valiant battle cry astutely summarizes his absurd position in this conflict. Smiting B-Manajerk could not possibly achieve anything in the name of love and trust, let alone improve his chances of obtaining female companionship. It is arguable that the manajerks were interfering in his Love Quest, and that submitting to their demands would only hinder that effort. (That is, if Chris were not "questing" in public he would be sitting at home, where his chances of meeting single women would be even lower.) But the flaw in his logic is his assumption that responding with hostility will gain him anything more than retreat would. As we'll continue to see in Sonichu #4, the author believes his quest is not simply a means to an end, but a noble struggle against overwhelming odds. This notion that he is the hero of his own story (made quite literal in this comic) only fueled his already massive ego and left him extremely vulnerable to the narratives concocted by internet trolls.
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