anonyma13

[anonyma13]

saw this on twitter and wanted to save it here

[anonyma13]

One of the pitfalls I've been struggling with over the last three years while focusing on recovering from ADHD burnout is trying to find stimuli that are enriching and not just distracting because distracting stimuli might feel like it's keeping me from being bored, but really it's just keeping me numb enough so I don't have to process being bored or any of my emotions.

And that's not great when you're trying to heal trauma.

The problem is, I'm not finding a lot of things enriching at the moment. A lot of the things I've been relying on to keep my brain quiet since 2020 now feel overstimulating and are actively making me agitated rather than numb. Which I suppose is progress? It means I'm processing things and actually aware of them again instead of perceiving everything as background static.

It's just an odd predicament to be in. I don't think I've been this 'aware' of my own brain in a long time and on the one hand, cool. Great. Probably a good thing. On the other, aaaaah. Why is it so noisy in here?

#adhd #I do not know how to dig myself out of this hole #All I do is scroll Reddit all day and I hate it #I’m not interested in work at all #I need to get my ass in gear but I just can’t #trying so hard

[anonyma13]

[anonyma13]

#writing the map

[anonyma13]

This is just as relevant for tumblr as for twitter, so I share it here. Fully agree

[anonyma13]

Spent 5+ hours landscaping the yard and planting sunflowers gladiolus (gladioli?), and I really thought I would have gotten so much further today. But ye gods does my body hurt.

[anonyma13]

At some point in your life, you were taught that being slightly annoying is an unforgivable sin. Maybe it was by your parents or a teacher or a friend or a bully or an older sibling. But someone taught you that being slightly annoying is a crime punishable by death.

You must unlearn this.

You must accept that all people will be annoying at some point or another in their lives, maybe all of their lives, and that this is okay. It is okay for strangers on the bus, it is okay for children in the grocery store, it is okay for people on social media, and it is okay for you.

If you ever want to truly love your fellow humans, if you ever want to truly love yourself, you must have forgiveness for being annoying.

#writing the map

[anonyma13]

Kesewa Aboah by Buzz White for Telegraph Magazine - October 2019

#photography #gorgeous and happy

[anonyma13]

Kukua Williams by Rory Payne for Telegraph Luxury Magazine September 2020

#photography #so dreamy

[anonyma13]

talking to people while holding a beverage is awesome because you don't have to know what to do with your hands and when you don't know what to do with your face you can just take a sip

#I do this ALL the time and it’s great

[anonyma13]

The Cry

John Gutmann, 1939

#photography

[anonyma13]

now that i am a real adult i am starting to realise. media lied to me about the availability of rooftops to go hang out on. every day i wish i could be hanging out on a rooftop somewhere looking cool as fuck

[anonyma13]

Also when it comes to those "happiest countries in the world" studies, it's good to remember that different cultures have different definitions of what counts as "happiness". To some people, being "happy" as a general thing is interpreted as feeling happy most of the time, being thrilled and excited about things at the same rate and frequency as small children are. That's not usually realistic, so naturally a person who considers that as their definition of happiness is going to answer "no" when asked whether they're happy.

And to some, being happy with something is a neutral state, of having no complaints of the thing in question. Your car isn't flashy but it's functional so you say you're happy with your car. Your job isn't glamorous but you'd rather drive to work than into a tree, so you say you're happy with your job. Your life isn't fancy but there aren't any particularly distressing threats terrorising you every day, so you say you're happy with your life.

You can imagine the dissonance that happens when someone with that kind of a definition says "I just want to be happy", meaning that they would simply prefer a life that wouldn't involve as much emotional anguish and suicidal idelation as it currently does, and someone with the former type of definition of "happiness" tells them that it's simply unrealistic to expect to always be happy.

#this is literally something that happened to me in therapy #now it makes sense why when I said that I wanted to feel less anxiety and more contentment #her response was Well you can’t expect to never have a bad day ever again!!! #and I was SO taken aback

[anonyma13]

~ Torso of Venus.

Date: A.D. 1–200

Culture: Roman

Marble: Marble

#art

[anonyma13]

Moustapha Sy by Fabien Montique for Inde Magazine October 2023

#photography

[anonyma13]

If people were too mean to you when you were growing up, a newborn animal will materialize inside your brain and it’s so so scared and shivering and it will stay there for years. Decades, even. And whenever you say something kind of weird but true to your heart the animal will tell you “Noo! You can’t say that! If you say that, everyone will hate you!”. The animal means well. It’s so so small and everything is so scary for them and it’s just trying to protect you. But listen to me. Listen to me. Whenever this happens, you can’t do what the animal says. You can’t. If you do, you’ll become as scared as the animal. You have to keep saying weird shit. You have to keep doing things the animal wouldn’t approve of. If you do enough things that scare the animal, maybe one day it’ll go to sleep.

#writing the map #a very large wailing and wounded horror lives in my chest #we’re learning to talk to each other

[anonyma13]

we diagnose you with a creeping sense of alienation forever. incurable