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Unsure if I have APD (Auditory processing disorder) But, I remember when I was a wee child (Honestly not that young) And my mom took me to the hosptial because she thought I had hearing loss because she would talk to me and I just wouldn’t respond, or interpret it wrong. I was completely fine, but I still have similar issues except my right ea r likes to make a strange static noise when someone talks too loud. And it makes my hearing completely go bye bye, or makes me cry? (Not because I’m sad but it affects my sinuses)

IDK if it’s tinnitus, because I got my ears cleaned out and it literally did nothing…Anyways I kinda realize when I hear backgrounds noises It’s hard to hear sometimes, because I’m too focused on it, and accents are hard to hear or old people because they just slur so much I can’t understand them. My siblings and my parents would understand my grandpa so clearly and I would be like. “wheat??”

This isn’t APD but I also tend to space out sometimes and miss some things you said, and sometimes I quickly forget what you said.

And then watching films my mom hates it when I put on subtitles because they’re distracting…Lady for YOU maybe? But for me? A complete Godsend I love captions/subtitles. People talk so quietly, with loud noise going in the background, or sometimes their words just sound extremely slurred.

I especially can’t understand you if there’s a certain trigger noise going on in the background and I can’t focus anymore.

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Literally every fucking person in the world it seems sees Relatable ADHD posts and is like “oh, this thing which almost everyone does sometimes and to a lesser extent,,,I do that sometimes. I bet I have ADHD!!!” as if they didn’t get annoyed by The Weird Kid in high school who never shut up, had annoying outbursts in class, didn’t understand social boundaries, rambled for way too long about anime or FNAF or whatever, and was overly sensitive (read: the ADHD kid that everyone hates for being ADHD)

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Three in One Day

So Tuesday was so weird… Not in that any strange things happened that day but things that threw me right off.

I’m in University and I have ADHD. My time blindness kicks my butt sometimes, mostly when my schedule gets thrown off. I don’t have a huge schedule that I HAVE to live by, to get by, but if I have things happening that day and something happens that throws me off, it can throw off my entire day.

This happened this week, on Tuesday. It is also the last week of classes, so obviously as a Fine Arts student does, I had a crit. So far, it was a usual Tuesday. I was doing the crit, felt pretty good about my giant drawing that cost me like $50 CAD to do (darn you art supplies!), but yeah. So far so good. 

Only because my Uni is weird, the last week of classes, are on a Monday, Tuesday and a Wednesday (because we miss Mondays because of holidays, like thanksgiving, labour day and remembrance day) so we have to make up for the classes we missed. Now, on Mondays/Wednesdays I have the same courses. Latin in the morning and Art History in the afternoon. Our province went Orange so my Latin class was now online (which looking back I’m glad for).

ANYWAY! During the crit, I had to go onto Microsoft Teams, to attend my Latin class… My Art classes are three hours long, and it felt so weird to during a crit -where you get graded for participation might I add- I had to also pay attention to my Latin class. Thank god I recorded it, because I’m pretty sure I missed most of that Latin class. 

That is where it all started. The three days into one…

First: It felt like a normal Tuesday, is all good.

Then, it felt like a Wednesday because of the Latin class (the reason it didn’t feel like a Monday is because I had lessons the day before because it was Monday.)

So Latin and the crit finished around the same time, and I had to go down to the digital lab to get some photos printed (I had to print A LOT because ~Fourth Year~) then I finally got to walk home! (which by the way kind of sucked. It was super rainy and windy in the morning, but then right before I had to walk to Uni it stopped and I was like, oh yeah! Guess who’s not getting wet! But then as I was walking back home… it started raining again! I mean it was also December and the fact it was like +15 in CANADA, was amazing)

I got home, and my mind kept switching between, I have to get ready for Art History, and I have to get ready for Advanced Seminar. Which is so bad, because Art History starts at 1:30, and Seminar starts at 1:00 (I have alarms that go off, but its just my brain preparing itself I guess). I mean thankfully for me though, Advanced Seminar ended the week before and my Art History Prof cancelled because she was sick. 

BUT THEN!!! Oh but then… My mum came home from work early, which only really happens on Fridays (also I don’t have Art History on Fridays, only Latin) so because Latin is the last class my brain was in mode for, it then felt like a Friday and I kept forgetting what day it was, and my brain kept flipping between Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. When it as in fact Tuesday.

SO  yeah, that happened…

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Originally posted by mishasaurus

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Say what you want about adhd, but the memory loss let’s me reread the same fic 3 times because I always forget the plot after finishing.

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Finally trying to tackle my literary White Whale. I have tried to read this six separate times in the last two years and every time I just can’t.

I love it so much but it is just slightly too complex in its prose that my ADHD ass can’t focus on it for very long. But I crave it. So, let’s do this again.

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Hey y’all a friend of mine recently found out they may have adhd- if anyone’s comfortable would you mind giving me your experience with taking medication for it and what helped vs what didn’t? (Obviously they’re gonna take their doctors advice first but they just want some overall insight from other)

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I absolutely love listening to people talk about their special interests and hyperfixations. Seriously, infodumping? Sign me up!

As long as I get enough background context and enough time to process the information, I really don’t mind what the topic is, I find the enthusiasm and passion for the subject means that I can take an interest in pretty much anything.

I think it’s partly because I can definitely tell that people get bored when I talk about my Things™ that I need to talk about, but I can’t help digging the hole even deeper and just keep talking… So when I see that familiar light in someone else’s eyes I just can’t help smiling.

And the same goes for chatting online, of course (in fact, that’s even better because I can take my time and look things up/work out how to respond)

Plus it’s easy enough here to find people with overlapping interests, which is nice.

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Does anyone else do that thing where they say a word in their mind but what comes out is a word that just sounds like it?

For example:

What I think: “he clutched his side.”

What I type: “he clutched his sighed.”

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day 1 taking my adhd meds, here are things i’ve noticed so far:

  • my legs are very shakey. like. EXTREMELY shakey. i’m stimming a LOT more but i think that might just be bc i took a test and it was helping me focus and now i just can’t stop lol
  • i feel a lot more at peace mentally? like my mind isn’t racing and i feel like my thoughts are much more clear. like i was able to express myself vulnerably and clearly without it being overly wordy and hard to understand.
  • this is just a general mental health update but i failed a test today and it didn’t cause me to spiral completely so i’m really happy :) i feel much more at peace with myself like my self worth isnt completely reliant on my grades and what others think of me :) i genuinely don’t hate myself and i feel like my friends love me and i don’t think i’ve ever been at a healthier state with my friends so yeah i’m pretty happy w my life rn, despite the fact that i BOMBED a test (which wouldnt destroyed me literally just two months ago)
  • i think my rejection sensitive dysphoria has just been dialed down a LOT so i feel less stressed

so yeah just wanted to say i’m happy and content rn and even if everything feels like absolute shit please trust that eventually it will get better because it has for me so far (and i’m hoping it continues to do so)

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So I have a small kitchen and a round kitchen table that seats the four of us in the family. The table is positioned mostly towards one of the walls with only enough space for me to sit snugly in a chair there between the table and wall. My brain went on one of those imaginary conversations as to why I sit in that chair specifically besides the fact that I’m the smallest person in the household. My hypothetical-conversation self replied to the question like “if I have my back against the wall I can’t be attacked and I can scan the room for exits and threats.” This was meant to be an edgy and funny hypothetical response but as I slid into my wall throne it dawned on me that I likely actually do this in settings out of the home, ironically.

So sitting with my ambivalence of humorous irony and sudden pity for my reaction to the real world, I am now blankly staring into the abyss of my coffee cup contemplating if I should continue to keep my wits about me or if I should try to pry myself away from the routine wall seat behavior. 🤔

For the record, I was just trying to sit down and go through the comics in the newspaper and sip on my warm (at the time) coffee, but instead I spiraled into a hypothetical conversation that transformed into a revelation about myself.


And that is what being adhd is like. 🙃

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