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My entire body has decided that it HATES ME (when does it not)

And i am SO ITCHY. Everywhere. All of me. I’m so uncomfortable and its overloading me and I’ve needed to stim so much and ugh.

I took a antihistamine to try and help as well as some itch cream but it didn’t do much.

Today was exhausting already and i wanna go to bed (its 1 am) and tomorrow will be even worse if i can’t get sleep.


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It’s that time of year when the little bit of circadian rhythm I did have disappears completely.

My brain: Oh it’s dark at 5 o’clock? That means we don’t sleep when it’s dark anymore right? Stay up until 2!

Also my brain: Oh it’s still dark at 6:30am? You must stay in the bed obviously, you can’t get up it’s night!

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“Money is the root of all evil“ yeah but so is Exec dysfunction. If it wasn’t for that I’d have my shit together & my life in control. 

If exec dysfunction didn’t control my life I’d be able to do so much more. Like, I don’t know, maybe eat properly and get enough water everyday. Oh, can’t forget the most important one: Completing my school work and turning it the hell in. 

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Okay seems like I didn’t know as much about rsd as I thought. Turns out rsd is triggered by the perceived notion of rejection. Basically, it’s your brain jumping to conclusions with baseless accusations that everyone hates you & you’re annoying; which is not true.

So here is a picture of my brain jumpin to sky high conclusions based off of words no one said:

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So I’ve been trying to consume more media with/by other autistic people and…

Does anybody else feel like they’re not autistic enough? Like. I get that’s silly and autism is a spectrum and presents differently person to person but like. Even the stuff I do recognize as autistic behaviors I do are smaller than what other people seem to do? Like the stuff I do to stim is really small and I don’t have an issue with eye contact (mostly because of I was hoh when I was younger and had to lipread/watch expressions very closely) and sensory overload happens but not very often and it doesn’t quite shut me down the way other people describe it?? Idk. I just feel like I’m bad at being autistic, which I recognize as being stupid. I know that I’m autistic. And even though my mom keeps insisting on using functioning labels and says I’m “not that autistic”, I know I’m part of this community. But sometimes I feel like I don’t quite fit here like other people do

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Especially as the holidays are upon us, remember your boundaries. Remember that “No, thank you” is a complete sentence. You don’t owe anyone explanation or justification for enforcing your boundaries. You are not obligated to make yourself uncomfortable for the sake of “festivity!” or “family!” or anything else, and you are not obligated to make yourself uncomfortable just to make anyone else’s life easier. You are not a burden for taking care of yourself, and you are not a bad person for saying no.

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y'all I asked my mom to get me stim toys n she said yes!!! now i need to get over my crippling indecisiveness and decide what to get 😅 I know I want a couple chew necklaces and a tangle but idk what else

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A question I suddenly came up with that actually matters bc I’ve been using this word as a neurotypical and idk if it’s appropriate I’ll remove it asap from everywhere but i do wanna know: is the term “hyperfixation” meant to only be used by and for neurodivergent people or can neurotypicals use it too? Why/why not? Is there an equivalent? And what exactly is the difference between a hyperfixagion and a normal interest? People who know help thank you and good night 💫💫💫

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after discovering diagnosis and while learning my place on the spectrum I practiced (this practice is ongoing) what feels natural to me. there came a point where I started feeling extremely childish. As if my maturity and comprehension were going backwards like Benjamin Button. I think I became so freaked out by this that I literally told my therapist “I think my ‘condition’ gets worse with age because I feel downright disabled right now… like I will have to be institutionalized one day”.

[not only did I realize that the last time I was my truest self was during childhood but I associated my memories of my true self with mental disablement. And referred to my true self as a ‘condition’. That’s how fucked up society is.]

This is normal. This is the process of unlearning social shaping. You’re relearning who you were before society manipulated you. You’re going back to your childhood self and growing from there. This is the purest form of growth you can experience, in my opinion. Embrace it.

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Oh you’re neurodivergent and had trouble making friends as a kid?

Okay then, what oddly specific “neat” thing did you teach yourself to do so you could impress people enough to be your friends? And what things about you became cornerstones of your personality after they got compliments one or two times, or were remotely interesting to one or two people?

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I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up I’m a fuck up  I’m a fuck up  I’m a fuck up  I’m a fuck up  I’m a fuck up

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So I decided I might as well do an introduction.

Hi!!!! I’m Snails!!!

Pronouns: He/They/Rot

How to use my neopronouns:

Snails likes to hang out in the woods by himself. He watches bugs crawl around him as the sun sets. This is his favorite time of day.

Snails likes to hang out in the woods by rotself. Rot watches bugs crawl around rot as the sun sets. This is rots favorite time of day.

Here are some things about me!!!

  • I’m autistic
  • I also might have adhd
  • I’m a queer nonbinary transmasc
  • I also fall on the asexual / aromantic spectrums (gray asexual and demiromantic)
  • My favorite color is yellow
  • I’m a vegetarian
  • I’m an eclectic spiritual witch
  • I like to call myself a hippie
  • I smoke weed and use psychedelics BUT I PROMISE IM SAFE ABOUT IT
  • I play ukulele, guitar, and I like to sing/write songs

These are my interests!!!

  • Cartoons
  • Astrology/Spirituality
  • Psychology
  • Leftist Politics
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