aro-who-reads

[aro-who-reads]

Much to my surprise, they are apparently not interested in a relationship with me, which I seem to be quite okay about? Like I still think I'm interested but it's not devastating or anything

Caught up in the weird experience of maybe having actual active interest in being in a relationship with someone (in particular), maybe even romantically or romantically-adjacent, while still feeling very aromantic and being quite romance-repulsed

#Idk it might be because I don't quite believe them #Obviously I'm not going to push it or anything but they've certainly acted... Confusingly #But either way being friends is very nice! Close friends are very important to me #Do still think I might be jealous if they got into a relationship with someone else. #It's hard not to feel like most people wouldn't just look at our friendship and see it as a threat

[aro-who-reads]

Aro book review: The Bruising of Qilwa by Naseem Jamnia

I really enjoyed this novella! Set in a Persian-inspired fantasy world, it follows a refugee healer as they try to support their family and solve a mysterious plague.

It's mostly quite slow paced, and sticks with a small cast of characters. It has strong queer themes, with I think exclusively, or least almost exclusively, queer characters.

The other strong themes are around immigration and colonisation. I found the wider world well explained, and I didn't get too confused.

With an aroace main character with both blood family and found family that are very important, I'd certainly recommend!

#aro #aromantic #aro books #Read this a while ago oops #So my memory of it is starting to fade #Just been very busy

[aro-who-reads]

Being aro but not ace really explains why I'm so terrible at archery.

[aro-who-reads]

Also just read Being Ace (Ed. Madeline Dyer) which included a few stories with aroace characters I enjoyed!

Anthologies including aro stories

(that I have read recently)

I know most people probably aren't going to read an anthology because it has one aro story in it (well, I would. And have done so!) But here's a little list in case any of these interest anyone generally, or people have access to them and would like to check out the aro stories.

1. Everything Under the Moon (Ed. Michael Earp). Aro story is Seeing Colour by Jes Layton.

I've already talked about this one, I think it's my favourite on the list (the story itself and the anthology as a whole). The anthology is full of queer fairytale retellings, and Seeing Colour is about a young aro person getting to know an older single person.

2. An Unexpected Party (Ed. Seth Malacari). Aro story is The Graveyard Shift by Jes Layton.

I also enjoyed this one, it's an Australian queer YA spec fic anthology with a deliberate focus on less common queer rep (lots of trans, nonbinary rep) and emerging writers. Being aro isn't really a focus of the story but it does use the phrase "alloromantic bullshit". There was another story with an ace character who might have been meant to be aro as well?

3. This is Our Rainbow (Ed. Katherine Locke and Nicole Melleby). Aro story is Girl's Best Friend by Lisa Jenn Bigelow.

A queer middle grade anthology. While not explicitly an aroace story, it does explicitly talk about having a squish on someone, who the MC attempts to befriend by turning into a dog. (I also believe the author is aroace?)

4. Out There: Into the Queer New Yonder (Ed. Saundra Mitchell). Aro story is The Undeniable Price of Everything by Z Brewer.

YA queer futuristic anthology. Unfortunately I found the aro story in this one of the weaker stories in the anthology, as it was a bit confusing. I also just didn't like the anthology as much as a whole either, but that might just be because it was more romance focused and I wasn't as interested.

[aro-who-reads]

ALT

You gotta admit, they look pretty good together.

This is my YA trilogy about a traumatised teenage assassin trying and failing to live a normal life in a fictional closed city in Yorkshire. If you’ve been looking for YA with no romance, morally ambiguous (or outright terrible) characters, tons of murder, revolutionary librarians, poison, Esperanto, loving descriptions of street art, and varying degrees of critique of the military and the arms industry (from subtle to overt as the trilogy continues), then this might be the series for you. The Butterfly Assassin and The Hummingbird Killer are out now; Moth to a Flame will be released on 23rd May. Full details of all of them are on my website.

#So keen!! #Aro books

[aro-who-reads]

Still bugs me to this day. I haven't even seen anyone else complain about it

Just read YA anthology All Signs Point to Yes, because the description said it would celebrate "... the lesser-explored love expressed by aromantic people" (it's an anthology focused on love stories) but as far as I could tell there are no aromantic characters? And I haven't seen any mentions in any reviews? Did I miss something, or is that description just wrong?

[aro-who-reads]

Caught up in the weird experience of maybe having actual active interest in being in a relationship with someone (in particular), maybe even romantically or romantically-adjacent, while still feeling very aromantic and being quite romance-repulsed

#Kinda hate it #Think they are interested in me but we'll see. #At the end of the day I still feel completely aro and they'd have to put up with me being very unromantic #We're currently friends which I honestly don't mind. Not sure how I'd feel if they got a girlfriend though... #I've had vague passive interest in people before (like; if they asked me out I might explain things and give it a go) #But not this. So is all very weird

[aro-who-reads]

Anthologies including aro stories

(that I have read recently)

I know most people probably aren't going to read an anthology because it has one aro story in it (well, I would. And have done so!) But here's a little list in case any of these interest anyone generally, or people have access to them and would like to check out the aro stories.

1. Everything Under the Moon (Ed. Michael Earp). Aro story is Seeing Colour by Jes Layton.

I've already talked about this one, I think it's my favourite on the list (the story itself and the anthology as a whole). The anthology is full of queer fairytale retellings, and Seeing Colour is about a young aro person getting to know an older single person.

2. An Unexpected Party (Ed. Seth Malacari). Aro story is The Graveyard Shift by Jes Layton.

I also enjoyed this one, it's an Australian queer YA spec fic anthology with a deliberate focus on less common queer rep (lots of trans, nonbinary rep) and emerging writers. Being aro isn't really a focus of the story but it does use the phrase "alloromantic bullshit". There was another story with an ace character who might have been meant to be aro as well?

3. This is Our Rainbow (Ed. Katherine Locke and Nicole Melleby). Aro story is Girl's Best Friend by Lisa Jenn Bigelow.

A queer middle grade anthology. While not explicitly an aroace story, it does explicitly talk about having a squish on someone, who the MC attempts to befriend by turning into a dog. (I also believe the author is aroace?)

4. Out There: Into the Queer New Yonder (Ed. Saundra Mitchell). Aro story is The Undeniable Price of Everything by Z Brewer.

YA queer futuristic anthology. Unfortunately I found the aro story in this one of the weaker stories in the anthology, as it was a bit confusing. I also just didn't like the anthology as much as a whole either, but that might just be because it was more romance focused and I wasn't as interested.

#aro #aromantic #aro books #It's still sort of aro week right... #I'm partway through a couple of actual novels I thought I might write about but I got distracted reading other stuff #Tbh I found all three of the all out/out now/put there anthologies disappointing #Especially in regard to representing a broad range of queer identities

[aro-who-reads]

Not formally doing aro week posts this year, but since it's aro week and also Black history month here's a couple books by Black authors with aro characters!

note that most of these are side characters or one of a full cast!

The Beast of Okeme - two aro MCs, QPR

Dread Nation / Deathless Divide - major character (POV in book 2) is aroace coded

So Many Beginnings - one of the main characters is aroacespec coded

The Last Session - one of the main cast is aro, in a QPR

The Midnight Bargain - a major side character is aroace

The City We Became- one of the main cast is lightly aroace coded (note: character is Indian, not Black, also it comes up in book 2)

Blood Like Magic - a side character is demiromantic

#aro books

[aro-who-reads]

can you elaborate on what you mean by romance being a social construct? just trying to understand here, because by that logic to be aromantic is to be against the social construct of romance or what most people view as romance

What does "romance" or "romantic" mean? Most people when answering that question will list specific signifiers or feelings that we commonly associate with romance or romantic feelings, but these things don't have to be romantic. They're 'coded' as romantic because we associate them with romance as a byproduct of our culture. Simple example: Kissing on the lips. Pretty safe to say this action is frequently cited as a romantic gesture. But is it objectively a romantic gesture? No. There are plenty of cultures, currently and throughout history, where kissing on the lips is not romantic. Hell, kissing in some cultures isn't a thing at all/considered unsanitary! Therefore, kissing on the lips is not objectively romantic or some universal phenomenon. It's socially constructed.

The same thing can apply to romantic feelings. First: Feelings of sexuality that often (but not always!) go toe to toe with romance are not inherently romantic. You can be attracted to someone, or be intimate with someone, and not feel romantic feelings. So we need to separate sexuality from romance. What does that leave us with? Great care for someone? A feeling of closeness? A desire to never be parted with someone? Are these feelings romantic? Yes, but they aren't always. Stripped of any other pretenses, you could easily apply those feelings to your friends or family members. What makes them romantic is socially contextual, and subjectively determined. Therefore: Romance is a social construct.

People who identify as aromantic will have different reasons for subscribing to the label. Some may be aromantic because the feelings typically associated with romance just don't happen with them, and sometimes (but not always!!!) asexuality plays a part here as well. But for other aro folk, it's not always that consistent. Maybe they do feel those feelings, but only under some circumstances. Or maybe they feel some of those feelings, but not all of them, or inconsistently, or don't really think of those feelings as romantic at all or in the moment. Romance, like sexuality, is more fluid than we tend to realize, but romance as a specific, socially determined construct can be suffocating for those who don't quite fit in the box. Especially once you start throwing in the other social expectations that romance is typically associated with: Living together, marriage, having kids, permanence, etc. In those instances, some folks may gravitate toward the aromantic label simply because they oppose the rigidness of the construct.

Ultimately, our purpose with our arospec characters (Keagan, Robin, and Daonna) is to explore these variations.

[aro-who-reads]

There is no better example of "people can't comprehend that two people can be close friends without there being anything romantic between them" than the fanbases of every band I have ever enjoyed. I'm not talking about rpf I'm talking about people who are actually convinced that the band members were/are dating and insist it's true because they're... Close. As you would be with someone you've been in a band with for a while.

#This is so true #I've especially experienced in bands for theatre where you're also squashed up in some tiny alcove #There are people I've been in bands with that I don't really get along with and maybe don't even like that much! But we were still bandmates #Sometimes I see a band with seriously strong... Bandmate energy? #And I feel jealous! Because I think it's one of my favourite types of intimacy

[aro-who-reads]

Sorry I've had a good think but I can't think of anything either, there isn't a lot of allosexual demiromantic rep to begin with unfortunately

Do you know of any books / other media w allosexual demiromantic characters that dont end up in qprs or stated to be nonsexual romance, and don't emphasize friendships? (bc Im very repulsed by those things - I do understand its very unlikely to find media with no friendship - something i struggle w a lot as a plato repulsed aplatonic)

Ugh I've been trying to think of / find answers for this and frustratingly I've come up short!! The only allosexual demiromantic rep I can think of is Fire Becomes Her but that is very much about friendship & QPRs so I wouldn't recommend it in this case.

Going to throw this out to my followers and the aro crowd, hopefully they'll know of some more options??

Maybe @aro-who-reads might have something too that I missed?

#Fire Becomes Her is my only obvious example of that rep as well and it's qpr heavy #There might be a character in the isandor series?? But that's also very focused on platonic relationships #I had a look through the old aroace character database and there was nothing obvious there either

[aro-who-reads]

PSA since i haven't seen anybody say it yet!!! aromantic spectrum awareness week is very soon!!! starts february 18/19 (depending on your calendar)!!!! mark your calendars!!!!!!!!

#And for the fifth year in a row it coincides with my first week of uni for the year ugh

[aro-who-reads]

[Image: the American chopper argument meme, five panels. Two people are angry, taking turns speaking in each panel. Person A yells “I’m aromantic!”. Person B yells “But are you also asexual?!” Person A, “No I’m aromantic!” Person B, throwing a chair, “But what’s your sexuality?!” Person A, “I’m aromantic! Aro!”. End description.]

[aro-who-reads]

Aro book review: The Many Half-Lived Lives of Sam Sylvester by Maya MacGregor

About an 18 year old high schooler who has moved schools after a near death experience and who investigates the past murder of a teenager from their new home.

I enjoyed this, particularly the characters. While there are still bullies, it felt closer to my experience of school, where even if people aren't your friends exactly most of them are basically nice enough.

The aroace character is actually MC Sam's dad, who was told the terms by Sam and decided they fit. It's a not a focus of the story, but his experience as a non-partnering single father is present throughout the book.

Sam and their dad also just have a really nice relationship! Overall a good example of an adult aroace character.

#aro #aromantic #aro books

[aro-who-reads]

Aro book review: The Last Session (Graphic Novel)

The Last Session Vol 1: Roll for Initiative collects the first five (and at least so far, the only) issues of a comic series about a group of friends that play a Dungeons and Dragons knockoff roll-playing game.

Originally a high school GSA group, they are now young adults and still play together. The main plot involves the introduction of a partner of one of the friends to the group and the troubles surrounding this.

One of the five original friends, Shen, has a flashback scene where she expresses frustration at none of her romantic relationships working, and another of the friends (Walter, a gay man) suggests she could be ace or aro. In the present they are in a qpr. This seemed like an interesting dynamic and I would have liked to see it explored more!

While generally enjoyable, I found that to be its main weakness: there are a lot of characters and we don't get to know any of them that well. But nice to see some graphic novel aro rep!

#aro #aromantic #aro books

[aro-who-reads]

Aro book review: The Story of the Hundred Promises by Neil Cochrane

Supposedly a Beauty and the Beast retelling, but more of a generally fairytale inspired fantasy story with strong Beauty and the Beast references. This includes short stories inserted between chapters, which isn't normally something I'm into but it worked here.

The book is full of queer characters, and has strong trans and aro themes throughout. There are multiple aro characters, including an aroallo side character. In general I really enjoyed how sex-positive it was.

While overall I appreciated the discussion around the meaning of love and different types of love, I wasn't sold on the romantic relationship the main character gets into at the end of the book. But if you don't mind that it's a solid read!

#aro #aromantic #aro books #Away on holiday at the moment so have access to a different library! #With a much larger catalogue so I can catch up on some things my home library doesn't have #Which includes quite a few (hopefully) aro books