ashli-marina

[ashli-marina]

My life is genuinely really awful like I don’t have food (even if I wanted it we are down to a stick of butter and a bag of rice in the house), my car is broken down constantly, yet I rely on it to pay my bills, I’m constantly about to get evicted or whatever, I’m in love with a married woman, I have pcos, I only have a couple more years left to have a baby but I’m not financially ready, and oh yeah being a woman who likes women makes me want to unalive myself every single day. My house is in shambles like the outlets don’t work and there are broken windows and things we can’t fix. We don’t have enough money for landscaping tools so we keep getting cited by the city. Can’t go to the gym or go to school right now because I can’t afford either like I literally can’t afford to work, go to school, exercise….its miserable. All my friends and family live several hours away so I’m completely alone when I’m lonely which is always and I can’t visit them bc of my car and money situation and they won’t visit me bc I guess they don’t love me as much as I love them 🙃🙃

So I starve myself

And it never makes any of these problems any better

But it keeps me from ending my life so 🤷‍♀️

[ashli-marina]

me: *eats*

my brain: wannarexic fatty bitch

[ashli-marina]

I’m either going to check myself into a hospital, unalive myself, or just walk for five hours, throw up, and make everyone miserable tonight. Been trying to decide for the last hour

[ashli-marina]

When your ugw says 128 but it’s really 112 because it’s really 102…

Who else has secret ugw lol

[ashli-marina]

Day 263 of ED

Down 125 pounds

Very nearly have met my goal of losing .5lb/day for the last 263 days 🥹 I’m like so proud of that the consistency is killer tbh

[ashli-marina]

I binged today and then was like

Pssssh no it was metabolism day lmao

[ashli-marina]

Love this post 😍

your daily reminder not to give up on ur new year’s resolutions. U got this!!! 🎧🥒

[ashli-marina]

[ashli-marina]

[ashli-marina]

no bc i feel like i really can achieve this super soon

[ashli-marina]

[ashli-marina]

to whoever invented zero cal soda, i pray that both sides of your pillow are cold every night 🫶🏼

[ashli-marina]

Before and after May 2023 vs V-Day 2024. No mean comments please I’ll d*e or whatever lol. Not there yet but I still can’t believe this is real tbh

#tw ana diary #e@tingdisorder #tw ana trigger #anorex14 #tw ana shit #ana ashli #tw ana rant #ana trigger #tw ed rant #ed not sheeren

[ashli-marina]

I can’t understand @na girls who don’t eat low carb I mean your body has to burn those before it burns fat….why not just eat protein and veg I will never understand breaking a fast with food that is going to slow your progress. Might as well have just restricted. 🤷‍♀️ Idk doesn’t basic nutrition science make being @na and then taking in enormous GI loads and inflammatory foods super counterproductive and odd, like it just makes my OCD twitch you are torturing yourself and then sabotaging yourself like this is why you get stuck in the endless cycles is because you eat sugars and low quality carbs 😭 yall are gonna drive yourselves insane and it’s hard to watch like just choose the same number of calories of different better foods it just hits my eye all wrong when I see the fact that MOST mealspø is just fruit and bread and candy?? Like soooo coquette 🙄 but not helping anything where’s mealspø for the girlies who don’t eat all the sugar??

[ashli-marina]

Loooove this moment seriously one of the best things is falling asleep hungry

✨ Sweet Dreams ✨

[ashli-marina]

May have gone out for V Day bc I didn’t want to be sad

May as a result have 4 days left in the week with 0 calories left yet 7 hours of exercise remaining. Could have paced myself better lol.

[ashli-marina]

Weekly calorie allotment: 2000

Weekly active minutes: 420

Days remaining: 5

Calories remaining: 1600

Active minutes remaining: 420

Typed this last night and fell asleep before posting. Doing okay with food but need to find a way to incorporate more exercise on my super busy work days (7am to 11pm with one hour break)