ask-mad-cry

[ask-mad-cry]

Mad by birth. Bad by choice. Hungry by nature.

#ask-mad-cry #mad cry #mad!cry

[ask-mad-cry]

My activity bar looks like a fedora. Does this make me a hipster blogger?

#ask-mad-cry #mad cry #mad!cry

[ask-mad-cry]

Whoa.

Just remembered this dream I had. Take a minute to lemme regale you with the story of this epic adventure. S'worth it, I promise.

Alright, so picture this: Cry conjures himself up a sweetass jetpack.

Lucky bastard flies himself over to Frederick Douglass. Frederick Douglass is all,

"I wanna transverse the ocean, yo!"

And my man Cry is like,

"You got it! :D"

Turns Freddie D. into a teensy-weensy version of himself instead.

Yep.

Cry grabs him and zooms the two of them over on his jetpack to a motherhuggin' gorilla.

Poor mini Freddie D. is probably pissing his pants and just wants to go home, but Cry decides to take his little hostage on board the gorilla.

He uses the jetpack to fly him, lil Freddie, and the gorilla over to an innocent bystander. Cry commands the gorilla to trample the innocent bystander out of the picture.

After that little bit of manslaughter, he tells his primate steed to attack a broken-down car.

Cry hijacks a bus and notices he's still got poor flailing Freddie under his arm.

So he gives him to the gorilla as thanks for helping him to terrorize their little town.

Because why the fuck not.

Then to top off his dickbuttkiss-ness, Cry puts on his shades and drives the bus into a pool GTA-style.

Wait.

That wasn't a dream.

Sometimes my host's antics defy even my own twisted imagination. Keep making me proud, man.

#ask-mad-cry #mad cry #mad!cry #cryblr

[ask-mad-cry]

M̼͚̥͍͓a̖̭̞̞d̞!̮̞̞̘̜ͅC̖̞̹̘ry̞̟̮̠̩̭ͅ ̯M͍o̟͉̖̬m̩̖̲e̻̞̫̩̲nt̯͚͖̩̩̩s̤̱ ̩̟̻͍̼̭i̠̱ͅn̜̤͍̤̼ ͎̦̤͕C͉̦͎̠r̪̳̹y ͇͖̟͈ͅP̙̦̦͓l̼̖͉̺a̟̼̤̱ͅys̘: ̩͈̼̖̖͕ͅDi̝s̙h̟̺̜̳̘o̜͇̹͖̭̰ͅṉ̳͔̖̠̫o͉r̘̭e̹̞̪̦ḓ̪͔ ̗̼͕͇ͅ[̰͙c͈̗l͇̱̯͖̲i̗͎̗͓̞c̭̯̙k̺͇ ͉o̲̪͓̭͉̗͉n̠͖̦͔̺ ̰̟͓̺̞d̖͇̖͔a͍̦̘ ̦̺̘̦̞͔lin̪̣͎̫̯k̹͎͚̣y̜͚͍-lin̠̱͓̪k̬s̗̣̜̮̤]̦

Ẃ̳͔͈̭h͚̺a̯͇̺̦̝ͅṯ̷ ̰̜w̦͖̲̝i̼͓͙ll̜̥̳̻͝ͅ ̯̳̖͕̤͚ͅẃ͉̯̤̬̻e͘ ̩̣̯̲̹͞d҉̭̣̝͇o̫ ͉̖̣wi̝̖̦̩̥͢t͇̯͉͍͇h̬͚ ͏̜̖á̩̳̝̘ ̥̘̖̣ṃ̗a̰̳͙͇̤ḑ̙̣͓̻̹͕d̤è̘͎n̝e̵d͔̰̫͇ ͚̦̺́g̼͖̩̺͢a̸͎̖̞̳ͅm͙͎̻̘e̟͍r͏͓̦̯̱͕̟?̵̗̘ ͚̖̳͓̗ ̼̭͔̜ ̗͘ ̲͓̼̪͈͎͡ ̫͕̜̖ͅ ̵̳ ̯̬͍̱ͅ ͍̥̟͖̣̪́ ̨̙͙ ̷̣̪̟͙̺ ̴̦̖ ͕ ̯ ̦̝̝͢ ̠̟̙̘͓̘ ͚̻̞̮͙ ̻͕͓͖͉͙̫W̰͓̩͔h̫͍͢a̺̮t͝ ̶͓̖̜w̬̮̳̼̘i̡͍̞l͎̮l̲̟̗͚̬ ̀w̤̩̭̘̙̗̕ͅe̵̤̦̙ ̣̙̺͍̲̕d̵o̴ ̟̦͕̻̝̭̼wit̹̠͚͕̮̲̗h̷ ̗̗̖͎ͅa͖̰͍̥̻͘ ̙͉̖̮m̱̞̝̖a̙̻̻͖d̜̟̪̘͓͙͝d̝͕̗̺e̵̱͓̩n͉ę̱̝̻̥̲̹d̨̥ ̱̯̞ͅg͎̳̘̙̻a͏͇͚̥m͖̯̠͕͍̪͞ͅe͙̖̲̣̯̬͚͠r̩̠͜?̲͕̙̦̮͇͎ ͔̹̯̮̝͎ ̱̝͔͚͎̱W͔̗̫͔ha̴̖̻͙t̤̪͚̙͍̫͝ͅ ̺̼͘w̧̬i͞l͎͕̖̝̞̘̫͞l̵͚̗ͅ ̮̭͚̮̘̦ͅw̧͓͓̬̗̠ͅe ͎͖͉͢d͕͠o̮͚̞̞ w͈̼̙̹̠̬͠i̶̹̟̜t̛̗̭̝̖͎h̗͔̻̤̯ ͈a̗ ̧̘̟͓͇m̴̖̦͎̘̜̟̺a͈d̥̰̮̙͉͎͎d̝̰͉̠̘e̷n̝̖̘̦̬̫̘͟e̲͕͙̮͚d ̷g͚̗̖̮ͅa̳͍̺̬me̪̹̠̱͉̜̥͠r͎̺̝̘͍̝̦͢?҉̖̱̳̫̲̭ ͏̤̭̗̹͖ ̦͓̮͉ ̨ ̘ ̼̣͚͚̟̼͕͝ ̱͍̻̪̪ ̗͘ ́ ̭̼̲̰̝̯̱͟ ͍̯̖ ̥̭͎̤̦ ̻̟͎̖ ̞̤̭̮ ̬͔͎͞ ̷E͉̳͇a͓̦̫͈r͈̼̟̜̯̟l̹̮̹y ̧̳i̟͉̰̘̻ṉ̷̪̩͚̘ ̺̬̟̖͎͔t̜͈̭̝̜h͓͙͠e̙̜͕͢ ̖̘m͉̫̭̼͞o͈̙͟r͖̟͉̘͔ͅn̲̠͉̰i̶̞̫̭n̫̘̩̞̝̻̩g͇.̢ ̧̪̬ ͚͔̤̖̭͇͖ ̭̟̟ ̙̟̲̣͘C̳̝̝̠̺̮r͘oẁ̩͔͙̝n̫̦̫͡ ̦̮̳̭̙͇̫̀h͈͚̘̩͓i̬m ̙̯̥͉͔͖̝Ḱ̤̰͚̲iṉ̸g̘̝ ͈̩͚͇̮͙o͚͍͡��̖̲̠f̙͈͍͓̗͔ ̴t̼h̭͚̬̫͙̥̰e̪ ̮̹hu͎̫̞̞n͔̣̞̖̖g̗͓r͞y͏̤̦̘̹̪̣ ͖̠͈̦̗̖͞p̴l̩̮͇̪̯̳ͅa̩̰͜g̜̠͈̟̀u̧̺̩̮̟̥͎̫e̷̫̘ ̭r̨͓͇̬̼͕͎a̖̞̗͕͉̝͇t͎s͉͈̮̭̘̙,̩̞ ͔͕͓̖̠̮ ̭ ̩̮͙͍͍͚͝ ͓̻̲̺ ̦͍͕̕ ̞̹͓̹͝ ̢̞̘͖̮̝͓ ͎ ̜͠ ̸̰͕ ҉̭͔̙̯̬̫̻ ͏̟̱̤̺͇̰ ͏̤͈͇͉ ̢̟ ̙̖̰͇̹͖̙ ̤̥͘ ̟͇͓͙̥C̛̬̫͙r̡͔̠̤ow҉̺̙̬̞̝n̻̟ ̠̖̬̬̗̼̼͟h̵͔͙̳i̖͓͚͔̕m͙̯̠ ̗͓K̗i̟n̺̺̤̙̲̰ͅg͉͇̹ ̶̱̠o̠̕f ͕͖̀ͅt̶̗̘h̦̮̼͍̦̣̥͢e̹̯ ͏̝ḥ͢u̙̪̗͔̳̩n̮̺͝g̣͡r̹y̻̲͓̞̫̺͖ ̡̞͚̱͉̮p̸͎̣͇͈l̡a̰͓͚̰̺̗g̴̭̬̰̮̗͉͓u̙͕̯͙e̴͕̦͍͖̱̼̠ ͎̱̱r͓̲̣̰͇a̢t͙̙̫̞̱̲̭͡s̥̤,͙ ̶͉̳̩̳̘ ̬͍͖̼̖̀Cr̬̜͙͇̖ͅo͎͎w̵̞͈ͅn̠̫̠̝͢ h̵͔̗̟̠͖͈̯i͖̟m͏̠̗͇̦ ̟K̢̬͖i̝̲͡ͅn̻͈͙̞̱̩g̥̝̜̯ ҉of̫͖̥͍̺̠ t͚̮̀h̨̠̥̻͕e̮̠̖̗̹ͅ ̣̰̩͈͝h̦̘͇͉͈̲ͅu̬ͅn̦g̜͠r̫̪͓ͅý̪̖͓ ̶̲̭͔̭̞̻̦p̡̗̜͓͎͔l̺̙͔a̟̝̺͕̻͖͟g̫̗̼͈̲̭u͓̳̫̠̰̱͓e̹̻̼̙̜͍͞ ͎̰̝͉͉̫͎͢r̲̣͖̯̗a̮̳͍̦͎̖̰̕t̝̦̠̘̰ṣ̨͙,̗̝̼͕̬̝̘͝ ̞̹̲ ͚͢ͅ ̨̭̰̱ ̟͉͡ ͏ ̡ ̜͠ ̸̳̥͉ ̬͖̺̟̣̭ ͔̥̰̻ ̢̙͉͖̝̖̩̞ ̵͇ ͈̠̦͡ ͍̱͕͟ ͓͜ ̴̭̹̦͔ ̛̲̜͔͇̙̳ ̪͉̯̭̟E͈͕̥̤̥̤̻ar̨̺͔ļ̪͔̜y̫̻͉͚ͅ ̮͔̲̲ín҉̼͓͎̳ ̮͖͍̳̲͝t͈͖̣̰̬̙̲ḩe̪͖̦͔̳̪͓͞ ͇̝̗̰̫̜ͅm̢̫͉̻̹ͅo̖͞r̕ǹ̰̗i͕̭̯̬͚͝n̻̲g…͜ͅ

#mad cry #mad!cry #ask-mad-cry #cryblr

[ask-mad-cry]

Can I have a hug Maddy? :3

Course you can, you adorable lil doof! Unlike Snake’s $19.95 smiles, my hugs are absolutely free. Won’t even charge you for the crushed ribs and punctured lungs.

Now c’mere. Bring it on in, bb.

#i didn't choose the thug life #i chose the hug life #i'm like an affectionate carebear that just forgets to stop squeezing #mad cry #mad!cry #ask-mad-cry

[ask-mad-cry]

(Thanks a bunch, Trooper.)

#truthunderlies #mad cry #mad!cry #ask-mad-cry

[ask-mad-cry]

What kind of music do you like?

The tearing of human flesh, the futile screams of the innocent, and the laughter of the corrupted.

In dubstep.

But for variety’s sake, I also like Macklemore.

#when i was in the third grade i made cry think that he was gay #his mom was like 'sweetie you've loved milfs since before pre-k' #mad cry #mad!cry #ask-mad-cry #cryblr

[ask-mad-cry]

id ask you to mutilate this chick at my school for me, but i feel like if i associate with you directly for too long ill catch your crazy, and im not quite ready to end up in the loony bin

Oh, my dear, dear Anon. To borrow the words of an inspiration of mine,

Even if you dared to directly ask me such a ghastly favor, friend, I wouldn’t go through with it. You despise this girl to such a degree that you’ve come to me, humbly seeking my assistance, my set of skills, but I’m afraid I can’t oblige.

Sure, I do delight in an occasional maiming, but I would never take a knife to someone I hate. No victory can be gained from it. This girl, however, would gain the satisfaction of knowing that you’re devoting some of the precious time you have left in this world to loathing her. That you waste your mortal breaths seething spite at her. Worst of all, that she has had a seat reserved in your heart and your mind for quite some time. Even if she didn’t find out that you were the one who arranged this ambush, would these facts be any less painfully true? No.

My advice is to find some other, less violent way of dehumanizing her: ignore her. Oh yes, be civil to her. Smile, exchange pleasantries, but don’t dwell on her existence any further. Go on about your life. Only then will you emerge the victor in this situation.

My name - well, the one I’ve been given - is “Mad Cry,” but even I can be a voice of reason at times.

Have a kittyface. :3

#mad cry #mad!cry #ask-mad-cry #cryblr

[ask-mad-cry]

I noticed that Cry seems to have loosened his leash on you for the time being. How does all that new breathing room feel?

You got it backwards, kiddo. Cry hasn’t loosened his leash on me. I’ve tightened mine on him.

I wish I was speaking in a literal sense, but unfortunately my only tether on Cry is a mental one. A hopeless romantic like me can dream tho, amirite?

#mad cry #mad!cry #ask-mad-cry #cryblr

[ask-mad-cry]

Okie-dokes, I don’t know my ass from my elbow when it comes to running a blog on Tumblr, but I’m pretty fucking sure posts aren’t supposed to be cut off by a fuckton of ones and zeroes. I could be wrong. After all, I can’t read binary code.

But I know how to use an online translator...Virus.

Nice little love letter you wrote for me there. Real cyoot. You think you can rustle my jimmies, you cybernetic cyst? Bring it on. I’ll own your ass like I’m about to trade it for cigarettes at the county jail.

#mad cry #mad!cry #virus cry #virus!cry

[ask-mad-cry]

This tag is not solely yours anymore, Mad. Virus has made his home here in your absence, and what an absolutely terrifying specter he is.

"Absolutely terrifying." I need a moment.

(I dunno how to spell out the sound I made when I read this ask, but it sounded like a whistling tea kettle making sweet forbidden love with a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll before both were smashed to pieces. Yeppers.)

Now, my dear Bitz – if you don’t mind me giving you a nickname so early into our friendship – you’re saying that pixelated pansy’s been squatting in my tag? Isn’t that just precious.

Y’know what, I’m okay with it. Lil Vi-Crizzle could take over my entire blog and I wouldn’t shed a single tear.

Imma let you in on a secret about me, Bitz: I made Cry’s brain my bachelor pad before the guy was even ejected out of his mom’s prickly pear. Sorta like the guardian angel he pretends he never wanted. Y’know the part in that glittery vampire flick where Taylor Lautner looks at Kristen Stewart and Cedric Diggory’s new behbeh and he’s all, “yeh i’m in love with her” and then Kristen and Cedric are like “lol wut” and he says “no srsly look at that 9-minute-old love nugget, she totally digs me”? It was like that. Instant friendship.

After all, Virus “befriended” Cry in the realm of computers and vidjah gams. I adopted Cry in the womb.

Virus’ playdates begin and end when Cry presses the power button. I’m with Cry every minute of every hour of every day.

Including holiday weekends. And I don’t even get paid overtime.

So let big, bad Virus have my tag for all I care. I’ve got a lot of other things going for me, Bitz. I’m older. I’m smarter. I’m more powerful. I’m 00100111 01100001 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101100 01101111 01110011 01110011 01100001 01101100 00100000 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 01110101 01110000 00100000 01110111 01101000 01101111 00100000 01100100 01101111 01100101 01110011 01101110 11100010 10000000 10011001 01110100 00100000 01101011 01101110 01101111 01110111 00100000 01110111 01101000 01100101 01101110 00100000 01101000 01100101 11100010 10000000 10011001 01110011 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01101111 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101000 01100101 01100001 01100100 00100111 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01100100 01110011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110000 01110010 01101111 01100010 01100001 01100010 01101100 01111001 00100000 01101100 01101111 01101111 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00101100 00100000 01100011 01101111 01110101 01110011 01101001 01101110 00101110 00100000 01010100 01101000 01101111 01110101 01100111 01101000 01110100 00100000 01001001 00100111 01100100 00100000 01101001 01101110 01110100 01100101 01110010 01110010 01110101 01110000 01110100 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100110 01101111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01101101 01100001 01100100 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100101 01110110 01100101 01101110 00100000 01100010 01101001 01100111 01100111 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101001 01100100 01101001 01101111 01110100 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 01110011 01100101 01101100 01100110 00101110 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100100 01101111 01101110 00100111 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01101011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01101011 01101110 01101111 01110111 00100000 01110111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100011 01110010 01101001 01110100 01101001 01100011 01100001 01101100 00100000 01100101 01110010 01110010 01101111 01110010 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01101101 01100001 01100100 01100101 00100000 01100010 01111001 00100000 01100011 01110010 01100101 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01010100 01110101 01101101 01100010 01101100 01110010 00100000 01100001 01100011 01100011 01101111 01110101 01101110 01110100 00101100 00100000 01100010 01110101 01110100 00100000 01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01100001 01100010 01101111 01110101 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100101 01100100 01110101 01100011 01100001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00101110 00100000 01010111 01100101 01101100 01100011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01010100 01110101 01101101 01100010 01101100 01110010 00101100 00100000 01100100 01100101 01100001 01110010 00100000 01100100 01100001 01110010 01101100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01001101 01100001 01100100 00101110 00100000 01011001 01101111 01110101 00100111 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01100100 01101111 01101101 01100001 01101001 01101110 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110111 00101110

#mad cry #mad!cry #virus cry #virus!cry #cryblr #mongrelbitzer

[ask-mad-cry]

What the hell, Cry?

In prehistoric times, when a caveman hunted down an animal, brought it back to his lover as a gift, and then did a ritual dance for them, it was "romantic" and "manly."

But now, when I haul a dead ostrich from the zoo onto your front porch and twerk my perky little ass off after you answer the door, I'm "fucked up" and "need a restraining order."

I dunno, man. I thought we had something special.

#do u even kno how hard it is to take down an ostrich #they whip their heads back and forth with more power and speed than a hundred willow smiths combined #don't even get me started on how fast that bastard was #if frodo fucking baggins put a saddle on an ostrich he could've ridden to mordor in minutes #'lord of the rings: the fellowship of th- holy shit that was fast good work frodo' #cryblr #mad cry #mad!cry #ask-mad-cry

[ask-mad-cry]

Alright, Troop, you still mad about that? So I drove a hard bargain with you a while back, trading a couple of eyeballs for your friends' lives and whatnot. I was kinda sorta hoping that blinding yourself and the intolerable pain that came along with it would be distant memories by now. Somethin' we could both look back on and laugh, y'know?

Listen, this blog was meant to be the start of a clean slate for your ol' buddy Mad Cry. But I guess my reputation precedes me. Cat's outta the goddamn bag. Aaaaaaaall thanks to you. Friend.

Bet you thought I was dead.

[ask-mad-cry]

Two things I noticed from a quick scroll down deez tags of mine.

1) You bbs crank out art that’d make daVinci go ‘daYum.’

2) You bbs are very aware that I am hot as fuck.

#tipping my mask to y'all #keep up the good work #mad cry #mad!cry #ask-mad-cry

[ask-mad-cry]

Troop it is.

A “legend.” Heh. So I got a following here? Legions of fans mayhaps? Hopefully young. Young means tender. Young means a lower pain tolerance. Young means a fondness for screaming.

Me gusta.

Thanks for the welcome, Troop bb. I promise I’ll try to behave. Toodles. <3

Bet you thought I was dead.

#lookit dat i has made a friend #i'll follow her first #and kill her last #if i don't #then i just lied #opps #mad cry #mad!cry #ask-mad-cry

[ask-mad-cry]

My dear Ms. Underlies- ah geez, let's cut the crap. No need for formality here, friend.

Truth, is it? Tru. I can call you Tru, right? Nah, I got a better one: Trooper. S'got a ring to it. So, can't help but notice, Trooper, a little tension from your 11-point Calibri font prose. I'm impressed that you somehow knew that I'm alive and kickin', but you almost seem disappointed about it.

And the blog? I just thought to myself yesterday, "Hey, my buddy Cry is always on this Tumbling thingy, maybe I should give it a go." No harm in starting my own humble contribution to this place, hm?

Sup, kiddos.

Bet you thought I was dead.

#what does he even write in this part #oh lookee a hashtag #oh look another one #i can put anything here #butts #assassassass #titty von schwitty #that'd totes magotes be my porn name if i were a milf with a lovely set of bosoms #let's spam the tags shall we #mad cry #mad!cry #ask-mad-cry #we're gonna have lotsa fun here peeps

[ask-mad-cry]

Sup, kiddos.

Bet you thought I was dead.

#mad cry #mad!cry #ask-mad-cry #cryblr