ask-the-usa-manor

[ask-the-usa-manor]

100% Michigan with Yooper and America

#Eve! #Screw Quebec

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Hey Marquette, Thoughts on your In-Laws?

“Sault Ste. Marie’s nice! America’s. An, uh. Interesting fella,” Marquette chuckled, “They both love Yooper. They’re a great help! Sue babysits Yooper sometimes, Yooper babysits America—”

“I need a baby leash for Grandad,” Yooper tilted her head, “I’ll put that on the shopping list.”

America scoffed, “I’m not that bad—”

“You were mugged by a 10-year-old last time I turned my back on you at the park for five seconds.”

“That child was feral—”

“You started to cry.”

“He reminded me of a young Rhode Island.”

“Then we got our faces painted to cheer you up so you’d stop sniffling.”

“We both looked amazing.”

“We did!” Yooper nodded enthusiastically, “The tiger look was for us.”

America nodded too, “I think we should do leopards next time.”

“We can if you don’t eat the paint.”

“Deal.”

Very seriously, the two shook on it.

#USAManor! Yooper #USAManor! America #USAManor! Marquette #Screw Quebec

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Must be hard having to care for all those kids isn’t it? Have you ever neglected some of them to pay attention to others?

“I hope not,” America frowned, “I might spend more time checking in on states that are going through something, sometimes. When they were younger, I guess I’d be raising the ones that weren’t adults yet more than the ones living their own lives. Otherwise, I don’t play favorites. I love my Virginia and all my non-Virginias equally.”

#USAManor! America #Screw Quebec #USAManor! Virginia

[ask-the-usa-manor]

Test out that theory

"Right," New Mexico nodded, "I just need to find out how to crack my back."

"Break your back?"

New Mexico stared at Arizona blankly.

"...Crack... my back," New Mexico reiterated.

"Oh, yeah. For sure," Arizona nodded, "Break your back."

"Crack-"

"AND ARIZONA'S COMING IN WITH THE CHAIR-"

"That's a pillow-"

*Thwack*

The room was illuminated in seconds. New Mexico, rubbing her back and squinting at Arizona, was shining like a 10-foot-tall McDonald's sign.

"Well," Arizona smiled, "I'm certainly glad I'm conveniently the only family member to wear sunglasses indoors-!"

*THWACK*

#Screw Quebec #USAManor! New Mexico #USAManor! Arizona

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If I point a geiger counter up to say Nevada or New Mexico would they give off radiation and make it go off?

“No, no. No way,” Nevada shook her head, “I don’t think so.”

“Meh,” New Mexico shrugged, “It wasn’t that bad—”

“Not that bad, eh?” Texas flipped the light switch off. Both New Mexico and Nevada were glowing.

Arizona slowly scooted his chair away from the two, maintaining eye contact until he scooted away into the darkness.

“…If you crack your back,” A new voice— Washington— chimed in, “Do you get brighter?”

New Mexico squinted towards the general direction of Washington’s voice, “Do I look like a glow stick to you?”

“Ye—”

“Don’t answer that.”

#USAManor! Texas #USAManor! New Mexico #USAManor! Nevada #Screw Quebec #Statehumans

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ARKANSAS *WHY*.

“Why? Why do I be? Why is it the way in which I be doing? Why do I be what I be doing? Why does I be the way it do? Do it be what I be doing it to be? Do it be what I do? Why is it you do be doing the thinking that I be do while me be doing what I think? Perchance—”

Massachusetts chucked a grammar book at (one of his many) younger brother.

#USAManor! Arkansas #USAManor! Massachusetts #Screw Quebec

[ask-the-usa-manor]

.... .- ...- . / .--. .- - .. . -. -.-. .

41.651031, -83.541939 

ZDU FKDSWHU ERRN

👍⚐💣✋☠☝ 💧⚐⚐☠

01001001 00100000 01110111 01101001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100010 01100001 01100011 01101011 00100000 01100001 01100110 01110100 01100101 01110010

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Open my coat! *someone actually opens up my trench coat to reveal I am made of thousands of (nonviolent) bees*

Surprise.

I will forever hold a place in your mind now. You can never escape the bees.

Arizona yelped and shot up out of his seat, knocking his chair to the ground. Utah, on the other hand, looked like he’s never been happier.

#USAManor! Arizona #USAManor! Utah #Screw Quebec

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Can I marry one of the states?

Maryland raised her eyebrows, “I’m about 89.9% sure we’re a couple centuries too old and slightly too immortal for the majority of humanity.”

#USAManor! Maryland #Screw Quebec

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So...how much trouble has the chaos trio gotten into?-

Tennessee, Kentucky, and Arkansas calmly sat around the table, playing cards.

Tennessee looked over his hand, cringing internally, “…I fold.”

Arkansas laughed as he laid a pair down, “Go fish!”

Kentucky slammed a card down, “Charizard, I choose you!”

“UNO! Hah!” Arkansas grinned, “Draw seven.”

Kentucky sighed heavily and pulled out a notepad and a pen, writing the number 7 and showing it off.

Tennessee furrowed his brow, “…Okay, I’ll be the first to ask; Does anybody at this table have any idea what we’ve been playing for the past half an hour?”

Arkansas blinked, “Nope.”

Kentucky shrugged, “Not a clue.”

“Good, I’m not alone. So. What now?”

Silence.

“…Wanna get arrested so I can break you out of jail again?” Kentucky lazily suggested.

“Or macrame,” Arkansas added.

“Both,” Ken agreed, “If Tenney’s not a coward.”

#USAManor! Tennessee #USAManor! Kentucky #USAManor! Arkansas #Screw Quebec

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Okay that's it. IOWA IM GONNA KILL YOU YOU SON OF A BITCH. YOU RUINED MY LIFE. ALL I AM KNOWN FOR IS LAMPS. I SHALL WATER YOUR CORN WITH YOUR VERY OWN BLOOD AND FLESH. YOU SHALL PAY IOWA. and Wisconsin, because fuck Wisconsin.

Wisconsin flipped him the bird.

Iowa took out his wallet and peaked inside of it. He took out $7.92, roughly $500k in Monopoly money, two buttons, one of those wrapped butter mints from some restaurant, and an old group picture of what appeared to be Iowa and some friends that was taken some time in the 1950s. After a moment, he shrugged and gave everything to Awart. Except for the picture, which he quickly pocketed.

“Is that enough? Or should I write you a check instead?”

#USAManor! Iowa #USAManor! Wisconsin #Screw Quebec

[ask-the-usa-manor]

I do not like lamps.

“Oh,” Wisconsin didn’t even look away from the fridge she was rummaging through, “Hi, Awart. Denial won’t get you anywhere.”

#Unsigned Anon but we know who he is #We know #USAManor! Wisconsin #Screw Quebec

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did anyone celebrate you statehood day with you Utah?

“Yes, of course! I went out to dinner with a couple of my friends. Got wished a ‘happy statehood day’ plenty of times. Nevada gave me a single potato chip. I don’t know why.”

#USAManor! Utah #Screw Quebec

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anon holds out a box of chocolates,

offering them to you.

:)

“Ooh, food from an unknown stranger, yes please!” America readily accepted the box, “Thanks! I love getting food that’s certainly not laced with anything!!”

#USAManor! America #Screw Quebec

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Happy fourth!

“Did we save this ask for a month where it wouldn’t make sense…? Perchance,” Massachusetts smiled, “Do we regret it? No. No we do not.”

#USAManor! Massachusetts #Screw Quebec

[ask-the-usa-manor]

happy day of statehood Utah!

“Thank you!!” Utah smiled, grateful for the thoughtful congratulations, “128 years of bee-lieving in my— That word play was so corny, even I couldn’t finish it.”

#USAManor! Utah #Screw Quebec

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I tried to find a spot I agreed with the most but all of these are perfect, I can’t choose. .

.

.

.

.

Yes I can, it’s the salad spinner one.

for second round, what about Eve’s America?

I feel like I should ping her here so- @the-everlasting-one

ask game

#Eve! #A rare main blog reblog moment #Screw Quebec #USAManor! America