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astrawberrieslover · 2 years

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Vyn's supposed "Red Flags"

So! I know Vyn is widely regarded as the "Red Flag" character, and it has always kinda ticked me off as I don't see these "screaming red flags" (and I'd like to think I'm fairly decent at spotting them.) However, after reading chapter 3 of his personal story, I will say this:

Vyn has trauma red flags, not toxic red flags.

For this character study, I'll be referencing specifically Vyn's personal story chapter 3, main story chapter 2, and a couple cards. (And for chapter 3 spoilers as well as length, I'll throw it under a cut)

Where to begin? How about discussing that the entire beginning of Vyn's personal story chapter 3 really set up trying to frame Vyn for being the PUA leader and making him seem as shady as possible. They tried to paint him in a skeptical light, with him hiding his actions from the MC and him challenging her as to if she thought he was the PUA leader or not. You question what his motives are here, wondering if he's trying to protect the MC by doing this then being resigned to the fact she'll hate him when that post came out. However, it is not until the end we learn his true intentions: he orchestrated this whole case to challenge and test her. The purpose was to see how she would act in the face of accusations against him: a friend. Would she act emotionally? Would she act with logic? Would she hesitate? Would she be conflicted? He wanted to see all these actions from her.

This coincides with main story chapter 2. We all remember the CG with thunder in the background as Vyn has a chat with Artem about not wanting the MC to be so protected. They really set Vyn up here as the "sketchy" character. (And for a while, I thought they did him really dirty here, but after reading Vyn’s chapter 3, I no longer think so.)

And then we can make a vague reference to his "False Tears" card where he "manipulates" the MC into giving him attention, and he just generally LOOKS shady as hell.

When all put together like this, Vyn sounds pretty toxic, right? To which I say, "it depends." If this was ALL there was, then yeah, I'd agree, but it's not. There's a lot more to it than that.

Let's start with dissecting the end of Vyn's Chapter 3 and moving up from there.

In Vyn's Chapter 3-15, we see him talking with Captain Morgan about Rosa. The duo are having a very interesting discussion about whether Rosa should be more protected or not. Captain Morgan is not wrong to think this, making sure Rosa stays out of the really dark parts of society. It's thoughtful of him. Where as Vyn, on the other hand, launches into a seemingly sketchy metaphor about breaking her wings so she can learn to fly despite the pain. Only once he elaborates on this can I truly understand he's not wanting to purposefully cause her pain. He's wanting her to face those dark sides so she isn't ignorant of a darkness that is seemingly foreign to a very bright young lady like Rosa so that she can grow in understanding. None of it is done to harm her but rather because he cares enough to want to see her grow.

And maybe this is me self-projecting a bit here, but this feels like a very "post-trauma" way of thinking.

Trauma survivors who are at least part-way through healing begin to understand that the darkness is not a fun place to be, but at the same point, the learning curve of it has shaped their minds in a far different way than someone who grew up in a healthy family. They are jaded, scarred, skeptical, and the end up pulling from both the darkness and the light for their survival.

From what I have gleaned, Vyn grew up in a very broken home. I'm trying not to self-project here, but I'm going to for a moment. As someone who grew up in a well-off albeit abusive family, the abuse isn't the physical kind; it's emotional and mental. People with money and power tend to want to get their way, so manipulation is big and so automatic they don’t even realize what they’re doing. And sadly, I would say that some genuinely do this behavior out of love not realizing that it’s toxic and damaging.

Worse yet, I feel this kind of abuse is more subtle because it's not that "obvious wrong" of being beaten or substance abuse. And most of the time, it doesn’t even seem wrong on the surface such as blatantly threatening or harassing. Instead, it's an underlying factor that's always there, the monster hiding under your bed kinda thing. You learn to tread carefully because you don't want to wake the monster. The adults in control want to keep that control, whether it's through money or power. And it tends to be in subtle steps up in intensity that you don't notice until it's too late. So life becomes a mind game to navigate. Who are you talking to? What’s their limit? How bad will their abuse/manipulation get? How can you avoid it while also not caving? Considering the way I believe Vyn perceives and interacts with the world, this abuse theory already begins to check out.

Taking a slight detour to his "False Tears" card specifically, this already begins to further confirm that he was subjected to emotional abuse. Because if he grew up in a place where emotional outbursts got him in trouble, then his emotions get suppressed and logic becomes his best ally. (here's where I slightly self-project again) You subconsciously teach yourself emotional outbursts are irrational, and you actually begin to get upset with yourself for having these emotional outbursts. When you heal, you begin to walk this fine line of "emotional outbursts are okay in certain situations, but you're tough and can take a lot so it has to be really bad." So when Vyn "acted out" to get Rosa's sympathy, I feel like he was walking that line. He was hurting and so he "made a show" of being broken because he felt like he could get away with it, trying to convince himself in his mind that an emotional outburst at this time is rational Lou justified.

The sad thing is that the situation was already justified. Vyn didn't need to act out to garner Rosa's sympathy as she was very willing to help and support him from the beginning. His "false tears" were him allowing himself a moment of weakness to garner sympathy NOT in a toxic manipulative way. He wasn't trying to get Rosa to feel sorry for him. Rather, I feel like his actions were more more akin to a timid child saying "mommy, this situation really really hurts, so this means I'm allowed to have a hug now, right? Please say yes.” rather than a haughty "yes, I want you to feel sorry for me. You’re dancing in my hand now.”

The other card I'd like to bring up is his "Mended Heart" card, where it's referenced that he throws out broken things. This is also referenced in chapter 3-12 where Westley is trying to break Vyn down by saying he can't stand broken things. Everything has to be perfect. I have discussed this once before that I think Vyn grew up in a rich, perfectionistic household. This is where he gets his "broken things are useless" mentality. I feel like this is both subconsciously learned and was taught manipulatively. When you have money, things are easily replaceable, and since rich people (particularly royalty, as seems to be Vyn's case) can be among the most judgemental, broken things are useless. You have money? Why save the broken thing when you can get a thing that isn't broken? This is how Vyn subconsciously learned this.

The second way, of it being taught through manipulation, is the "standard" how parents expect perfection, punish a child for anything less than, and since a child is desperate for their parents' attention and perfection is the only way they get it, they learn to become perfect. And if Vyn was punished as opposed to being ignored for not being perfect, then that would further take an affect on him. Henceforth, he has learned to put on a front of being perfect because it has become so ingrained in him that not presenting as perfect will get him in trouble or looked down upon. And he can’t stand either of these seeing, as a trauma victim, he is desperate to prove he has value. Why do you think he’s constantly rubbing the two doctorate degrees in Artem’s face? “I have two doctorates. I hold more value than you do.”

On that same note, in Vyn's chapter 3-12, when Westley called him out on his "low self-esteem", I think he was partly on the mark because growing up in abuse like that really does do a number on you. As such, I think that Vyn's startled reaction was a bit true. However, once you've been through abuse, you are determined to never let it happen again. And since you've been through the shit and know how to play the game, you play it right back. Whether Westley was right, wrong, or somewhere in between, Vyn would never let that man know and instead twist out of by pricking his weak spots. Never let an abuser get an upper hand on you, after all. Fool me once, shame on me; fool me twice, you'll live to regret it. And Vyn doesn't take shame in the first place.

SO! With this, I feel it's safe to assume Vyn was subjected to this mental manipulation and emotional abuse, which then begins to shed a different light on all these seemingly sketchy situations. Starting with what he wants for Rosa.

He sees Rosa as a highly competent attorney with a lot of potential if she is allowed to grow. But as witnessed in main story 2-2, he tells Artem that Rosa won't truly grow if she's just kept out of the dark and protected like some house plant. I feel like the best flower analogy is not real rose vs fake rose (although I know they did this for the “Rosa” analogy.) Rather, he wants her to be a dandelion instead of a frilly flower, one that can grow in any conditions, concrete or soil, rain or drought, and you have to bring out the weedkiller to maybe take her down. He wants to make her strong, and in his mind, strength is not only facing the light but tackling the dark.

So, back to 3-15, this is what he means by his eagle analogy. He wants her to face the dark even if it hurts her. But at the same time, he's not so heartless or cruel to throw her out to the sharks without a lifeboat. He's fully intending on holding her hand and guiding her in there, allowing her to face it, encouraging her to bear it before pulling her back out into the light again. He's a psychiatrist, he'll be there to track her mental state and do his best to control the environments she is in. He'll protect her from any real danger, but he'll let her face the garbage so as to let her learn.

And now the fact that he is the one to take her blindfold off in the promo image suddenly makes a WHOLE lot of sense. Of the four men, he is the “least protective.” I'm not saying he isn't protective of her, because he is, particularly of slander against her or her reputation. However, Luke would literally rather die protecting her than let her be exposed to this darkness. Marius (I know the least about him, sorry) gives the impression he doesn't mind if she faces some things but is willing to save her at the drop of a hat. And Artem, as her boss, is second most willing to let her see everything so she can learn so as to remain impartial, but he also has a "decency" limit and a more fatherly, protective instinct to care for Rosa. Vyn, though, values true growth even in the hardest of conditions, and while he doesn't necessarily want to put Rosa through it, he knows she'll only shine brighter for it and wants the best for her.

So when put like this, I'm not saying all his toxicity disappears in a snap. I think that abuse survivors tend to be pretty edgy and may walk a finer line between love, tough love, and abuse than what most people are used to. And depending where in the healing process an abuse survivor is, they may think they're walking a line when really they're in one camp or another and don't realize it. Henceforth, I won't deny that people with trauma can have/exhibit toxic traits, but they tend to become fewer with healing and time. Furthermore, they are not toxic necessarily for being purposefully toxic but rather because it's a residual from trauma and they don't realize they're doing it.

The BEST example of this is Captain Darius, bless his heart, warning Vyn about limits. Because I have a hypothesis that people like Vyn (like me) who grew up in trauma have no idea what a "limit" is. We push ourselves hard, we want others to do the same, and we don't recognize where the limit lies until it's too late. Then we say "okay, I won't do that again", but we do, again and again and again because we get frustrated we can't go further. We've been through shit, we're tougher than that, right? We bore pain that didn't stop even when we hit our limit, we hid it, so since nothing could be as bad as that, I don't think we know where our limits lie. And at times, I don't think we know the word "limit" exists. So that might be a toxic "red flag" for Vyn, but it is not a malicious one, it might not even be one he's conscious of, but rather something brought about by trauma.

After all this, I still think it's fair to say Vyn is still the "sketchiest" of all the boys, but not because he's purposefully toxic and instead as a result of severe trauma. And people with trauma do tend to walk a lot of lines and will cross them without realizing it because their normal is not a "normal" normal. Sometimes, we need reminders of "you crossed that line, don't go there." and we have to go, "Oh, yeah, right. Society normal."

So my hopes for this Rosa/Vyn romance is a lovely counterbalance. I'm all for Vyn allowing her to face shit and get exposed to the darkness as long as Rosa is his check and balance, reining him in when he goes too far as well as being a safe space for him to express his true emotions and continue healing. And I think that might be the case here. Specifically referring to Vyn's Chapter 3-14, when Vyn asks Rosa about what would happen if she saw her lover's ugliest side. He seems surprised that she'd stick by his side and "weather the storm". I feel like he fully expected her to abandon him if he showed her his ugliest side, his dark secrets, his trauma, because "broken things are replaced", right? So you pretend to be perfect; you pretend to have it all together; you're better than that. You conquered the hell already, the worst is behind you. But that's not how it works. Vyn knows he has an ugly side, no matter how much he wants to deny it. (one that we sorta caught a glimpse of in "False Tears".) So I think one of his biggest fears is being abandoned if anyone found out he was "imperfect".

So when Rosa was all "nah, we weather this together. I won't give up my life for him, but I'm not gonna leave him alone," of course Vyn is surprised if this is the first time he's felt such genuine warmth from a human being he has a non-work related connection with. If this was all he'd ever known, either abandonment or loss, then of course it would be surprising for someone to dump this kind of selfless love on him. Which, when put this way, really shows how fragile Vyn is under his seemingly indomitable exterior. I feel like this poor man puts on a show of strength when in reality, I think he's just a couple carefully placed hits away from shattering. Just as long as Rosa is there to pick up the pieces, it will be okay (and maybe even for the better) if he does.

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