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babiesanshine · 7 months

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familiarity (it’s all sticky) ➵ kim sunwoo

peter parker!kim sunwoo x spiderman!reader

you're not sure why you decide to show up at your ex's place all wounded up from tonight's battle.

genre/warnings ➵ exes (to sort of lovers?), angst, touch of fluff, afab reader (no-gendered terms), hurt/comfort (both physical and emotional), discussions of wounds and depictions of blood, lowercase intended, ghost-spider au (though please don't expect it to be accurate!), reader is obviously spiderman while sunwoo is peter parker i mean HELLO?? i am right, sunwoo is such a slob here, reader's hair is long enough to be tucked behind their ear, i also based everything on google when it comes to patching up wounds omg please don't follow me at all, kissing fingertips, mentions of non-sexual stripping and showering (let him take care of you)

word count ➵ 4k words

taglist ➵ @deoboyznet @kflixnet @blankjournal @winterchimez @miusgirl @jenoscafe @sweet-unicorn-world @vernyangel @mosviqu

playlist ➵ nonviolent communication by metro boomin, james blake, a$ap rocky, & 21 savage // hummingbird by metro boomin & james blake

a/n ➵ i've had this idea for the longest time in my drafts. i'm pretty sure it came to me as i was writing of linked arms and bruised hearts, but i'm glad i took some time to sit down (even in my busy and hell midterms season) to write it :') thank you to my lovely cat @wuahae for beta reading <3 this work is only a fraction of what our friendship truly is, and proof of the care we have for each other. i love you! i also thought it would be in theme to get songs from across the spiderverse ost for the playlist </3 please don't forget to reblog (even if it's in your tbr!)

want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! want to request? check out my guidelines! masterlist

new york city never falls silent. the bustle of every new yorker can be heard through their footsteps, the wheels that glide against the train tracks along with the beeps of taxis sound throughout the city. the metropolis stays alive in every street, every alleyway, every corner. no matter what hour it may be, each pavement is wide awake.

but the lights seem hazy tonight; the luminescence pours out of every building, the led boards are only blurs of silhouettes and illegible words. normally, you would warn against going out if someone could barely make sense of what these signs say, but you never seem to follow your own advice.

as you swing through the city, web clinging onto every building, blood continues to seep through the white spandex that covers you from head to toe. your body feels heavy, the pain in your lower abdomen continuing to spike with every movement—every swing—you make.

you bite on your lip, holding back the whimpers. your eyes dart through every street sign you pass. with every swing, you realize you’re nowhere close to where you should be. instead…

you don’t allow yourself to think it over. maybe the loss of blood has you moving out of impulse, but for now, you can only think of getting rid of the pain.

you swing around the corner before landing down at the familiar fire escape, paint-chipped and rusted just like you remember. a hiss leaves your mouth as your hand reaches out to the spot where the blood continues to seep through, holding it down to keep pressure on the wound.

you’re face-to-face with the window; the reflection of you all suited up in some persona is a sight you’re accustomed to—but not on the glass of his window. you’re not sure why you came back here, injured in an identity he only knew of through word of mouth.

but the throbbing in your abdomen doesn’t give you enough time to think more about it. pushing the window up, you throw one leg over the edge into the apartment. your eyes quickly scan through the familiar space—a room you once treated as yours.

pillows scattered and bedsheets wrinkled, the walls are littered with the same posters of anime he swears to be the best of all time (though you’d always disagreed), along with his desk, littered with trinkets you haven’t seen since the day you left him—ones that he talked about to you back then with so much joy.

as you attempt to get your other leg over the edge of the window, you yelp at the sharp pain that strikes. “fuck,” you whimper, gasping out a breath. another groan rips out from your throat as you force your leg over, head resting on the frame with closed eyes, bracing yourself through the wave of pain that follows.

as pants continue to leave your mouth, your senses tingle as your ears catch the sound of footsteps on the other side of the room. you attempt to stand up only for another groan to leave your lips, and you realize it’s too late—the door creaks open, revealing the man you haven’t been face-to-face with since you said your farewell months ago.

dressed in an oversized white tee and a pair of black shorts, sunwoo stands with a bag of chips in his hand and disheveled hair, eyes wide and gaping. you can only assume he was fresh from bed.

“s-spiderman?!” he looks around, noticing the mess that you’re being exposed to. before you can register it, he rushes in, dropping the bag of chips somewhere near the doorway, and tries to tidy his bed. “w-what are you doing here? i think you might’ve entered the wrong room,” he stutters as he attempts to fix his pillows and bedsheets (poorly, if you may say).

somehow, the sight of sunwoo all frazzled makes you smile behind your mask. the idea of your—no, you mean, this guy all worried about you seeing how untidy he lives makes you chuckle.

but as you laugh, pain shoots through your lower abdomen once more. you cough out before hissing, pressing onto the wound. it takes everything in you to keep your body upright until you feel a pair of hands rest on your shoulders. you look up only to be met with his worried expression.

and you spot the way his eyes trail down to where your hand rests. you’re thankful that the mask could hide the heat that rises to your cheeks.

“oh god, you need that treated,” sunwoo’s eyes snap back up to you, and your breath hitches. even after all these months, he still holds stars in his eyes.

it’s been a while since you last saw him up close. the bags on his under eyes have turned a few shades darker, and you notice an eyelash that rests on his cheek. you don’t think about what you do next, your free hand reaching out to his face, and his breath hitches. once you pick it out, you flick the strand off of your fingers, and that’s when you realize the mistake you committed.

“s-sorry,” you choke out. although you try to keep your voice as low and gruntled as possible, he frowns. he bites the inside of his cheek as his eyes flicker between your masked face and the wound.

“i-i don’t know how to help. i can call for an ambulan—”

you grab onto his arm before he can leave. as you shake your head, he gulps. “i can’t really help you,” he says, but your grip doesn’t falter. with that, he lets out a sigh before kneeling in front of you. his hands find themselves on the ledge, his arms now caging your frail figure. “do you have someone in mind who can help you?”

sunwoo’s question is innocent. you’re sure the last thing he meant was to mock your situation—showing up in a “stranger’s” room unannounced—but it strikes a chord in you.

you haven’t spoken to him since you broke up a few months back. when you’re outside of your suit, you avoid him like the plague. in the hallways of campus, you take any possible route to not cross his. but when you’re covered in your second skin, you find yourself on top of buildings watching him from far away. with the distance, you allow yourself to learn about what he’s been up to since you two last spoke.

so you don’t know why you sit in front of him all injured and dressed up in white, black, and pink spandex, because you haven’t spoken to him since that day. shame bubbles within you all while reality slowly slips from your fingertips. and the way your body gets heavier with every second that passes has him mumbling profanities.

his hands hold onto you as he makes you lean your weight on the frame of the window. “wait,” he says as he stands up and walks into his bathroom. before you know it, he comes out with a box.

sunwoo finds his spot back in front of you and he opens what he retrieved. as he looks through the supplies of bandages, alcohol, gauze, and more, he says as his eyes flicker up towards you, “i don’t know how much this will help but it’ll do for now.”

and you should be thankful that someone is willing to bandage you up after the rough night you’ve had, but it feels like a lie to have sunwoo be the one to do it, especially when you haven’t told him the truth.

so when he grabs onto the supplies he needs to treat your wound, your free hand reaches for the underside of your mask. his eyes follow where it rests, and he freezes in his tracks. your fingertips curl on the fabric as you take a deep breath.

“you don’t—”

you shake your head, cutting him off, and you close your eyes before pulling off the mask.

you’re afraid to look at the boy kneeling in front of you, for you can only imagine the annoyance—the disgust—that will paint his features. it’s not like you had a choice to show up at his fire escape this one night, but it was your choice to reveal who spiderman really is behind the mask.

a beat passes.

you’re not sure what to do at this moment. what are you supposed to do after a vigilante reveals who they are?

but when you open your eyes, sunwoo looks back at you with an emotion you can’t pinpoint. he averts his eyes, trailing down to your wound. “let me see it,” he whispers.

you gulp, an attempt to clear your throat and thoughts, before letting your hand move away from the puncture. your hand grips the hem of the top of your suit, peeling it upwards to reveal a bloody wound. from the sight, it looks like you were stabbed, but it’s only a deep cut.

he pulls out a piece of cloth, reaching out and pressing it to your wound. you yelp, eyes squeezing shut at the contact. “i’m sorry, but we need to stop the bleeding a bit more.” it takes everything in you to open your eyes. you’re met with the sight of sunwoo whose face holds a thousand emotions—you can’t identify any of them.

“can you keep pressure on it?” you only nod before you remove your gloves, afraid to touch the wound with fabric covered in grime. you dump your mask and gloves on the space beside you before letting your hand reach to where the cloth is held against. your hand brushes against his for a split second—you retract your hand immediately at the contact with his skin.

at the sudden motion, the cloth against your stomach drops with nothing left to hold it. sunwoo curses in a panic, hand shooting out in an attempt to save it, but you react faster. snatching it mid-fall, you grasp it tightly, placing the cloth back onto your wound. his eyes dart between where your hand rests and your face, a twinge of worry cast on his features, but he doesn’t give you an opportunity to say anything as he stands up quickly and walks back to his bathroom.

you hear the water run for a moment. the noises of the street fill your ears. the lights from outside cascade the floor, hues of yellow and purple filling the room. and then thunder rumbles; it shakes the floorboards. the sounds of raindrops follow, and you feel your back start to get wet from the storm that has entered new york city.

you try to push yourself off the ledge, a groan ripping out of your throat once more. and you’re finally on your feet. but at any moment, it feels like you may collapse.

“wait, wait! what are you doing?” sunwoo exclaims as he rushes out of the bathroom. he quickly grabs hold of you in an attempt to keep you steady. “don’t stand up or that wound might get worse.”

“i-it’s just the rain. i don’t want to leave the window open.” as you turn your torso, another spike strikes where your wound is. the yelp that leaves your mouth has sunwoo grip onto your arm tighter.

“no, just sit. i’ll take care of it,” he says as he brings you to his chair, his hand never leaves your arm. you let out a hiss until your bottom meets the cushion. as soon as your back rests on the chair, you close your eyes for a moment from the pain.

his hand leaves you. you hear the window shut; the car horns and barks from stray animals are now muffled.

when your eyes flutter open, sunwoo crouches in front of you with a wet towel in his hand. “i need to clean it.” you only nod before removing the cloth on your wound. he grabs it from you and places it on his lap.

as he raises the wet towel to your wound, you flinch at the contact. he quickly retracts it and asks, “does it hurt?”

“no, it’s just cold,” you mumble back. he only nods before attempting to clean the area around your wound. while he keeps his eyes on the puncture, your eyes remain on his face; hues of yellow cast upon him.

his skin glows under the city lights—did anyone know about the stars you once carved on it?

“is this why we broke up?” his eyes snap toward yours as he asks that question.

you cannot help but bite the inside of your cheek. “y-yeah,” you choke out.

he hums before his eyes go back down to your injury. “i’m guessing this is why you were distant then, right?”

you don’t bother to speak, letting the silence speak for itself.

he removes the wet towel; the white cloth is covered in patches of red. as he crumples it into a ball, you spot that his white shirt holds splotches of blood as well.

sunwoo stands up to drop the pieces of fabric on the table behind you. “your dad obviously doesn’t know,” he mutters to himself.

it’s a rhetorical question. of course, your father has no clue of your late-night rendezvous. you’re sure he could never look at you the same if he found out because to him, he would never understand what you do. he would see you only as a low-life criminal in the same way the nypd does.

sunwoo then dabs a cotton ball soaked in betadine on your abdomen. you bite on your lip as a hiss leaves your mouth. “fuck,” you curse, and he only continues to clean up your wound.

silence takes over you two. as he bandages you up, you allow yourself to close your eyes. you were thankful to find rest in these small moments. but you don’t miss the warmth of his fingertips on your skin; they feel just like last time.

“why did you come here?” his question has your eyes snapping open, and you are met with a frown resting on his face.

you bite the inside of your cheek. “i-i don’t know.” it’s a lie—one you both know. you had every chance to change the route you were taking. instead, you chose to go to his place—even if it may be on the other side of where you live.

he lets out a sigh. it’s clear that he’s disappointed by your words, but all he says is “okay,” as he gets up. “you can stay here for the night.” he stands in front of you in a shirt covered in patches of blood—it’s proof that his heart still holds a spot for you.

despite the venom that was laced in your words the night you cut ties with him, he leaves you a space for you to fill. it’s another choice you can make, but one you’re not sure if you should take.

sunwoo walks to the desk behind you and flips the lamp on. you swivel the chair so that you’re face-to-face with his slouched figure. you would’ve scolded him, but you’re not in the place to do so—not after what you two had.

but a part of you wishes to chide those words—hey, keep slouching and your back will get worse—for old time’s sake. it takes everything in you to hold back from saying the reminder, but it takes nothing to let your hand grip the back of his shirt. his movements halt.

as you sit up, you let your face bury into the arch of his back. the scent of his laundry detergent (it’s still the same smell of lavender) fills your nose, and you let your hands trail around his torso until they find their home on his waist. even after all these months, your hands knew where to rest—your spidey senses knew who to go to.

you feel his hands rest on your arms, his thumb drawing circles on your forearm. you breathe at the same pace as him. whenever his shoulders move up, yours follow. and you allow yourself to cherish just this once the familiar warmth of sunwoo. you let your soul mesh with his once more.

with closed eyes, you whisper, “i still look for you.” his thumb stops moving, and a shaky breath leaves your mouth. “i’m here because all i know is you.”

it’s half of a lie, but still a lie nevertheless. you shake your head against his shirt. “no,” you rescind. “i know i shouldn’t be here, and i had every chance to go back home, but,” you take a deep breath. “would you let me, just this once, be honest with you?”

your question hangs in the air—it’s not for him but for you. all the choices you took led to this moment, from embracing the persona you were handed through a single spider bite all the way to removing the mask in front of him.

sunwoo spins to face you. he stands in front of you with the remnants of you covering him, his shirt coated in hues of red and your blood dried up on his hands. the light behind him causes a shadow to paint his face.

but when he kneels once more in front of you, you get a good look at his features. he still looks like the same boy you first met—the same one you fell in love with—but you wonder if he was still the one you knew?

that is until his hand reaches toward your face. you hold your breath as it finds its spot on your cheek. but as his thumb grazes your cheekbone, a trembling breath leaves you. you gulp everything down—your fears and anxieties—so that you can finally be honest with sunwoo.

“i wanted to tell you who i really am.” a flicker of confusion flashes through his eyes. “and i know i’m not doing it in the best state,” a chuckle leaves your mouth. “but with every day that passes, and every injury i need to endure, i didn’t know when i would be able to tell you what went wrong with us.” a beat passes. “what went wrong with me.”

he shakes his head. “nothing’s wrong with you. what are you talking about?” a frown takes over his face. “i mean, you’re spiderman, for god’s sake.” you weren’t able to hold back the giggle that slipped from your lips.

but it wouldn’t be fair to just accept his words as is, not after the damage you’ve caused.

you let a hand rest on his, the one that rests on your cheek, and you curl your fingers so that you hold it. “i’m sorry that this is me.” the whisper is loud enough to fill the silence of his room. “i’m sorry that i crashed here all injured and left you to deal with the mess,” your eyes flicker to his bed. “especially on a night when you were resting.”

as soon as your eyes go back to sunwoo, you notice that he’s biting the inside of his cheek. “why are you telling me this?” it’s an honest question, one he couldn’t figure out the answer to. “we haven’t seen each other since you broke up with me.”

and he has every right to be confused with your sudden appearance. after all the months spent avoiding him in the halls while still seeking him on top of buildings, sunwoo was left with no clue as to why you come to him first in such a dire situation. why is it that you chose to reveal such an intimate part of yourself months after you two have drifted?

“do i have to say it?” you ask.

and he looks back into your eyes before saying, “it’s the least you can do.”

so you grab onto his hand, moving it so that it rests in yours. the sight of his fingers and palms covered in splotches of you fills your heart with warmth. it’s proof of the time he spent to patch you up. no matter who you may be—spiderman or not—you will forever be at his mercy.

“we can’t be together. it will only be another cycle of pain.” for both of you. as your eyes land back on his face, you spot sorrow coating his features.

“but i still do.” it’s an unfinished thought on his end. despite the frown you show, all he does is flash you a bitter smile. “i always have and always will.”

and it clicks.

“n-no, sunwoo,” you shake your head. “you can’t.”

he brings your hand close to his lips, letting it linger for a moment. “but you do,” he whispers into your fingertips. “right?”

even after revealing who spiderman truly is behind the mask, you expect sunwoo to rethink everything he knows. the months spent away from you should be enough reason to reconsider how much he knows of you now. but even if you two were to spend years apart, he would still read you as well as he does now.

“i can’t,” you choke out. “i can only offer so much, and you deserve so much more.”

he smiles at you—the same one you used to see every day, no matter what time of the day it may be—as his free hand reaches for your hair, tucking it behind your ear.

“i couldn’t care any less.”

you shake your head. it’s clear he doesn’t understand the gravity of it all; to be with you means to remain in constant danger. “no, sunwoo. you don’t understand. i broke up with you because i’m batshit scared of what will happen to you.”

because it seems to always occur—anyone you come close to becomes another target for your enemies. it’s already hard enough to handle the responsibility of being a masked hero, but you don’t think you could handle a possibility where sunwoo’s death would be on your hands.

but all he does is shake his head and says, “i don’t care. i still love you.”

you haven’t heard him say that to you in months. such a simple phrase causes warmth to fill your limbs and heat to rise to your cheeks. he still has the same effect on you after so long.

there are consequences that this conversation bears. you should have stood up and left as soon as he patched you up. it should’ve been obvious that the longer you stayed, the more you would pour out sentiments that you tried to keep under wraps—under the mask—and it seemed that sunwoo knew how to undo them even better than he did then.

and hearing sunwoo say those words has you falling into a perpetual cycle of torment, one that makes every day intolerable for you can only watch him from afar. but aren’t you already living it the more you deny what’s in front of you two?

so you only nod, and bring his hand close so you can feel his fingertips on your lips. with closed eyes, you whisper, “okay.”

it’s a testament to everything—one to his offer to let you sleep in this very room you once treated as yours, one to his confession that tilted your world’s axis, one to the very situation you’re in—and you’re sure he knows it, too.

he smiles as soon as your eyes flutter open. “let’s go to sleep.”

you know that sleep meant to be wrapped in his arms all while he would leave kisses on your temple. you don’t remember the last time you got enough rest, but you remember that the last time you slept in sunwoo’s arms was the last one you were able to fall into slumber at ease.

so you nod, allowing him to help you out of the chair. and he helps you through it all—shedding the suit off of you, cleaning you of all the grime from tonight’s adventure, and getting dressed in fresh clothes—until you two find your place on his bed.

nothing is said for the rest of the night. for once, you drift into slumber without any secrets stashed away.

if you enjoyed reading this, please do reblog!

#bye why did i kinda tear up #LKKE TJIS IS SO??#HEAD RESTS IN HANDS #WIPDING MY TEARS AS IM ABOJT TO GO BACK TO STUDYING

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babiesanshine · 7 months

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𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐲

lee hyunjae x gn!reader

1.3k words, suggestive, kissing/making out, he's uhm shirtless pffft 🤣, swearing, est. relationship au

a/n: idk how this ended up in my google docs istg 🧎🏻‍♀️

The bathroom door opened with a trail of steam wafting out, and clung to the polished wood floors of yours and Lee Hyunjae's bedroom. You glanced up only once with the sort of nonchalance you had been employing this entire day, eyes flickering up to the man emerging from the heat for a second and no longer, before returning to the book propped open in your hands.

You felt his eyes on you, the weight of his stare so blatant that you almost—almost—gave in.

"Yn-ie," he hummed in amusement, his hand braced on the bathroom doorknob.

"Hm?" In your head, you had to enunciate every word on the page to keep focus. Or at least, some semblance of focus.

He gave a soft chuckle, letting go of the knob and disappearing into the closet just beside the bathroom door. Your pounding heart sobered just a little when his gaze left you, and you were able to regain focus. You just needed to last until morning, and you would win the stupid, light-hearted bet the two of you had made last night. It was something about Hyunjae being as distracting as he was. If you could last a day without giving into him… well, you got bragging rights. Again, it was something stupid, it was immature… and yet, the two of you were taking it far too seriously.

You had a feeling he was about to ramp it up though.

The closet light turned off and you heard Hyunjae's feet as he padded his way across the room over to where you were propped up against the bed's headboard.

You still didn't pay him any mind as he settled on the edge of the bed right next to you, the mattress dipping slightly as he took a seat.

His hand came down softly over your upper right thigh, his palm warm and firm. You were hyper-aware of the fact his thumb was rubbing circles into your skin and his other fingers were curled around the inside of your thigh. "Hey, baby. You listening to me?"

On instinct, you lifted your head, and you almost gave yourself away right then and there.

Dear fucking god, the visual in front of you would have brought you to your knees in an instant if not for the stupid bet. Here he was—dark brown curls messy and damp, his legs clad in a pair of low-hanging gray sweats, his hard and carved chest bare for you to fully adm—

Focus.

You caught yourself, stumbling only once. You met his laughing eyes. "Of course I'm listening," you sniffed, smiling. "Have a nice shower?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "Missed you though. There were some places that needed your touch, babe."

"Ah, is that so?" You teased, eyes returning to your book. What was going on again? Something about Moriarty striking—

Your breath hitched as Hyunjae suddenly rose up and threw one of his legs over you. You held your breath the entire time it took for him to slowly mount himself over you, straddling your thighs, until all you had was an eyeful of hard-earned muscle and flesh. You swallowed, hard.

"How's the book?" He asked with a laugh in his voice, all while bracing his hand against the headboard behind you and peering down at the pages of your book with you.

You stammered, "Fantastic."

"Really?" He lifted his eyes to yours. And goddamn it Hyunjae, he held that eye contact as he brought his thumb to his mouth and licked the pad of it. He then used it to flip the page backward. "I think you might need to read it over again."

A nervous feeling bubbled up in your chest—you were not about to lose this bet. Not when you were so close to winning. "Want me to read it to you?"

"Sure."

"Do you mind?" You gestured to his position on top of you. Dear god, why was it so fucking hot all of a sudden—?

Hyunjae's mouth spread into a wolfish grin, dark eyes blown wide sparkling with utter mischief and triumph. He knew he had you. "No, I don't mind at all. Go on, honey; I'm very comfortable."

The expression on your face probably read something along the lines of ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? And it only spurred Hyunjae on more as he licked his lips between grins. He leaned back a bit then, but only to casually stretch his arms over his head, that eye contact never breaking. (Okay, well, it broke when you went to watch the literal muscles in his arms flex—)

"You're being unfair," you grunted. The book in your hands lowered to your lap.

He giggled then, cute and giddy. It was a terrible contrast to his physical appearance. "All's fair in love and war, baby. Is this you waving your white flag?"

You rolled your eyes. "Not a chance." To be fair, as soon as he sat down without a shirt on, you had lost. But you weren't about to admit that; he had to work for it.

His eyebrow cocked upward, tongue sticking out of his mouth as he leaned forward again. His thumb met the corner of your lips. "You're drooling."

"You're so annoying," you muttered. But you didn't push him away.

In fact, you let him trace your bottom lip with the tip of his thumb. He bit his own, his thumb pressing into your lip and watching intently at how plump it was. "You love it," he murmured back at you.

You did. You really fucking did.

"Can I kiss you and we call it even?"

Your eyebrows flew upward, book discarded as you crossed your arms over your chest. "Absolutely not."

He pouted. "Aw, so I still kiss you and I win then?"

"Hyunjae," you said through a small laugh. Oh, you were so going to lose, but why did you hate it and love it at the same time?

He beamed then, hand moving to cup your cheek and caress your cheek. "I haven't gotten to kiss you all day, baby. Give a man a break, hm? A little mercy."

Your mouth widened, albeit unwillingly, into an embarrassingly large grin, partially out of disbelief. "Mercy? Oh, you want to talk about mercy?"

Hyunjae laughed. "Yes! You literally left for work this morning without kissing me and I've been trying to think of all the ways you could make it up to me after I've won."

"You—" You huffed, speechless. Your brain was a glorified puddle at the moment. "And your first thought was to climb into my lap?"

"Technically, my first thought was the shirtless thing. And you can't blame me—whenever you climb into my lap, I can't help myself."

Your smile turned into something shy as you realized just how right he was.

Hyunjae cooed, puckering his lips as he grasped your chin. "Aw, baby's gone shy now, hm?"

You somehow found the strength to weakly brush his hand away. "I hate you."

"Mm, okay. Say I believe you. Can I kiss you?"

Oh, you were hitting yourself over the head—you sighed, pressing a hand to your forehead. "Fine."

He let out a delighted, little sigh, "Thank god." He wasted absolutely no time at all, bracing his palms against the bed on either side of your body to lean over your body and crush his mouth against yours. There was something admittedly satisfying about finally being able to feel home in a person once again.

Your arms came up around his neck and tugged him down to you, because if he wanted this, he would have to come to you. After all, he won the bet. But maybe you didn't care anymore.

Hyunjae's brows furrowed as he pressed himself harder against you, coaxing a hum of approval from your throat. Your toes curled at the dizzyingly perfect pressure of his lips against yours—his shampoo was suffocating your lungs, his hands now moved to grapple at your waist, your hips, to pin you down in place and anchor himself like a sailor gone overboard.

You gently nipped at his bottom lip, and he rewarded you with a soft moan. "I think—" he breathed haggardly between languid kisses, "—that we both win."

He tasted your laughter on his tongue, and it practically made him ascend. "You know what? I think you're right."

a/n: DKFNKS OKAY IN MY DEFENSE....... I HAVE NO DEFENSE.

tbz m.list

permanent taglist: @tayunji @im-a-big-mess @honeyhuii @crazywittysassy @seomisaho @stopeatread @enhacolor @rnjfy @jaehunnyy @kpopjackie @spiderrenjunfics @soobin-chois @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l @mingiholic @ethereal-engene @ja4hyvn @vatterie @yogurteume @justalildumpling @hyunjaespresent-deobi @hongyangi @pxppxrminty @nerdypastacalzonespy @zhaixiaowen @wtfhyuck @jcmdoll @winterchimez @kflixnet

#the way i was so giddy and disgustingly giggly all throughout reading this #got me fucked up fr #WHY WAS IT CUTE BUT IM LIKE #HELLO #SIRvv #MY BUBBLE #FLUSTERED AS HELL!!

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babiesanshine · 11 months

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KISS, DON’T TELL — 23: time on love

synopsis: popular and menacingly wicked choi beomgyu has the entire senior class wrapped around his finger. the high school drama club has cherished y/n as their veteran for four years. to fulfill beomgyu’s graduation requirements, he must join y/n’s drama club despite his grudges. unbeknownst to everyone else, y/n and beomgyu have their history. they’ve kissed before (or more like y/n has bitten his lip to bleed) and beomgyu hasn’t lived it down ever since. y/n cannot stand this guy. they can make it through the entire year as the leads in their play, right?

taglist: @iyeonjuni @odxrilove @iuwon @ijhyo @cherr-y-eji @ameliesaysshoo @enhacolor @cherrybeomgyu @wccycc @hyukabean @strawberri-uyu @hyuntaena @feyregels @boba-beom @luvnhwa @shua-s @ashxxgyu @bibinnieposts @laylasbunbunny @robinsluva @shiguresohmas @h00nerz @beomsbeanie @stepout-09-15 @ox1-lovesick @soobsdior @ifwtyun @peachy-yabbay @sunlightwoo @ttyunz @rikijackson04 @miyawwn @aintgeluh @baekhyunstruly @wxderingthoughts @moontyuns @soobpricity @hyeinszn @txtbrainrot @phenomenalgirl9 @fatoompie @stellz581 @bluebearybeom @extriella @1-800-ryujin @galaxyhalloes @tae-ology @dekusgirl @xavi-in-kpopland @run2seob @obeymeharemowner @bailies-me @aestheticsluut

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a/n: pet names, mentions of kissing, like one curse word (guys idk if the next chapter should be written plz help)

please do not translate, modify or repost on other platforms.

#WAIT I ACTUALLY #LOVE THIS SM #awww wait #AGEHEHDHD IF THEY KISS I WILL EXPLODE IN HAPPINESS DNDD #why do i feel a darkness looming that something will happen

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babiesanshine · 11 months

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KISS, DON’T TELL — 22: sure thing

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a/n: profanity, mentions of kissing 🙈🙈🙈

please do not translate, modify or repost on other platforms.

#NDKSNDKD #THEYRE GOING ON A DAteeeEEEE #omg yeonjun iM RIGHT HERE #but also this is crazy i’m so ready

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babiesanshine · 11 months

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KISS, DON’T TELL — 21: not on my watch

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a/n: suggestive (? like one comment), mentions of kissing, we’re entering stage 2 y’all 😩

please do not translate, modify or repost on other platforms.

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babiesanshine · 11 months

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KISS, DON’T TELL — 20: intervention

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a/n: like one pet name!! let me put a pin on this angst so i can focus on what’s to come in the future🧍🏻‍♀️

please do not translate, modify or repost on other platforms.

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babiesanshine · 11 months

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KISS, DON’T TELL — 19: mistake

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a/n: profanity, beomgyu and y/n interaction but at what cost 😔

please do not translate, modify or repost on other platforms.

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babiesanshine · 11 months

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to live again | yoon jeonghan

ミ★ synopsis: it’s been years since your last milestone birthday; a time when everything still felt right in the world with youth and ambition. now that you’re older and times have changed, would you dare take a chance to save someone else in the past at the cost of your own future?

ミ★ genre: time travel!au, childhood friends to lovers!au, slow burn, angst, some fluff, some humor

ミ★ warnings: mentions of depression, suicidal thoughts, and brief(?) major character death

ミ★ word count: 38,765 (what in gods name.)

ミ★ pairings: jeonghan x gender neutral reader

ミ★ notes: omg hey… long time no see haha …. okay i’m sorry for not posting for five months it’s my fault but uh this was supposed to be my three year anniversary gift and then i failed as a human being KSHGRKDHK i’m so sorry it’s so hard balancing writing and university :,)) but i’m offering my longest oneshot ever as both a peace offering and a three year anniversary gift! i hope you guys enjoy this one, and PLEASE make sure to read the warnings! i love you all, thank you for your endless support even tho i’m not as active anymore </333

Keep reading

#you… you bastard….

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babiesanshine · 11 months

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Heartbreak On The Dancefloor; Yeonjun

Genre: angst, fluff, best friends to lovers, model!Yeonjun, photographer!Yn,

Word count: 12.8K

Warnings: slight love triangle with Minho (sorry lino), alcohol, mentions of body insecurities, misunderstanding trope, a lot of pining, just hopeless losers being in love to be honest

Authors Note at the end of the fic!

Playlist: psychic-chris brown // jealous-nick jonas // save room for us-tinashe // you-regard // heartbreak on the dancefloor-sg lewis // up to me-lany // lmly-jackson wang // would you-the vamps // stockholm syndrome-one direction

"Ready?" The director asked and you quickly gave him a nod, holding up the camera in your hands as a way to confirm to him just how ready you were for this job.

He looked slightly unsure but nodded nonetheless, a sigh falling from his lips before he turned around.

"Okay, get back, everyone. We are starting again," he exclaimed and watched everyone return to the set as the ten-minute break had reached its end.

Your eyes fell on supermodel Yeonjun Choi and his co-worker, a beautiful blond model, walking in with coffees in their hands, talking about something you couldn't hear. Yeonjun had a smirk adorning his lips as he told the woman a story and you had to refrain from rolling your eyes. He was such a flirt.

Just as you averted your focus back to your camera, the director turned to you once again with a stern expression on his face. "This is a big job, Yn Yln. You better prove to me that what I've heard about you is correct."

You felt someone stare at you from across the room and after glancing to the side, you received confirmation that your senses were correct. Yeonjun had his eyes on you.

You swallowed before quickly nodding. "Of course, sir," you stated politely, attempting to mask your nervousness.

He nodded before veering around to the models and staff members. "Third and last round! This time with a new photographer."

All eyes turned to you and you offered a clumsy wave. You caught the way Yeonjun looked down to hide his smile, causing your nerves to worsen. Was he laughing at your awkwardness?

After a minute and some makeup touch-ups on Yeonjun and his co-model Lana, everyone was back in their position.

The director gave the two instructions on how to pose and it amazed you just how quickly they caught up on every instruction. They were undoubtedly talented.

You took a deep breath and were just about to bring your camera to your eyes when they found Yeonjun's dark ones, and you caught the wink he sent your way, which was presumably supposed to be something like a reassuring gesture but made your heart almost stop beating.

You let out an unsteady breath, not daring to react to him in any way. This shoot was too important for you to screw up, so in a second, your focus was back on your job.

Yeonjun noticed your professional side taking over and he couldn't help but swallow at how attractive the sight was.

The first flash illuminated the room and that was the start of the photoshoot.

For the first few shots, Lana had to stand behind a sitting Yeonjun with her arms draped over his shoulders and her hands slightly disappearing in his satin shirt.

Yeonjun looked into the camera with a seducing smirk on his lips and you could already imagine how amazing the pictures would come out, making your nerves slowly start calming down the more pictures you shot. If you hadn't been so focused on taking the pictures, you probably would've melted at how sexy Yeonjun looked.

You took multiple pictures from different angles as Yeonjun and Lana switched positions, and your mood was going up with every picture you shot.

The last position was Yeonjun standing behind Lana and him having to lower his face slightly into her neck.

But just as you were about to click on the button of your camera, Yeonjun looked up through his thick lashes and his eyes met yours once again, making your insides do a back flip.

"Eyes on Lana, Choi," the director ordered and Yeonjun snickered at your flustered reaction and averted his eyes back to his co-worker.

You rolled your eyes frustratedly. What was he thinking?

After you shot the final picture, you heard the director's announcement that the shoot was over, which was followed by applause.

You lowered your camera and let out a breathy laugh, not being able to wrap your head around the fact that you just shot for Vogue.

People around you started congratulating each other for yet another successful photoshoot and after having discussed with the director when you were going to have the pictures ready, you went to get yourself a glass of water, your face practically glowing. This entire opportunity was perfect for your growing career as a photographer and to your relief, everything went smoothly and practically flawlessly. You had even caught the director proudly smiling once after peeking at your camera over your shoulder.

"So how's my little photographer feeling?"

The low voice in your ear made you almost let out a yelp as you put down the glass of water.

"Can you not sneak up on me like that?" You asked before turning around to face your best friend, who also happened to be the worldwide-known supermodel, Choi Yeonjun. To you, he was just Jun, though.

When you saw the excited expression on Yeonjun's face, you couldn't help but grin.

"She's feeling amazing," you responded earnestly, making Yeonjun's eyes turn into crescents.

"Well, she did amazing too."

You looked down. "Thank you, Jun. But I got lucky with a good model."

Yeonjun bit his lower lip, his cheeks immediately heating up. "Thank you-"

"Lana is perfect. You did well too, by the way," you interrupted him, a teasing smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

Yeonjun's smile dropped and got replaced with a scowl, making you let out a laugh.

"I'm just kidding, Jun. You are-," you looked away, not being able to look him in the eyes as the compliment was about to leave your lips, "-genuinely born to do this. Thank you so much for getting me this opportunity. I'm forever grateful. I don't even know how to repay you."

Yeonjun's heart sped up and his face softened at your genuine words.

"You deserved this opportunity more than anyone. I'm just glad I had the chance to show people your talents," he shrugged.

You blinked a few times as you looked at your best friend. "Thank you."

Yeonjun stared into your eyes and slowly started to feel himself zoning out from reality like it was only you and him standing in the room. This happened a little too often lately.

"Jun?"

Your voice made Yeonjun snap out of the trance and he quickly cleared his throat before forcing the infamous smirk to return to his face. "I know a way you can repay me, though," he winked.

You narrowed your eyes. It only ever meant bad news when he gave you this look.

"You're going to the end of the year's event with me tomorrow."

You sighed. "Yeonjun, we both know I don't belong there-"

"Shush, you belong there more than anyone else."

You arched an eyebrow. "Why? I'm not a model. Hell, no one except you even knows me. I'll just embarrass myself with my looks next to all the supermodels, dude. What about; I wait for you at my place with wine and all the Friends episodes so you can come over and relax after the event, hm?"

"First of all, you're hotter than all of the models attending. Actually, you're just the hottest girl I know, period, and my opinion is always correct since I'm a guy with exquisite taste. But that's beside the point."

This made your cheeks heat up and your jaw almost drop. Almost, because you were certain he didn't actually mean his words. "I-"

"Second of all, binging Friends with you with a bottle of wine sounds amazing, so that's definitely still happening after the event. After we both get back from it. Because we are both going."

You rolled your eyes and nudged his shoulder with your fist. "You're so annoying, Choi, did you know that?"

Yeonjun grabbed your hand before you could retrieve it, making you look up surprised.

"I have heard so before, yes. I'm going to change now so we can go home," he stated before pulling you along with him to the changing room.

"And I have to come with you?" You asked as you allowed your best friend to drag you through the halls.

"Yes, so we can discuss what time I'm picking you up tomorrow night," he responded without looking at you.

"Jun, I'm not going-"

"Oh, you so are," he interrupted before sending you a wink over his shoulder.

When you finally got into the changing rooms, Yeonjun closed the door behind you and walked to the heap of clothes laying in the corner of the room.

You leaned against the door and watched Yeonjun as he searched for his hoodie in the pile of clothing.

"You're not going to ask me to turn around?" You teased, crossing your arms over your chest the moment he was about to start unbuttoning his satin shirt.

"Why would I? You're acting as if you have never seen me shirtless before," Yeonjun replied casually as he unbuttoned the first few buttons before looking at you through his lashes. Your eyes widened for a split second and Yeonjun mentally praised himself for flustering you, knowing you were the one trying to fluster him in the first place with your comment.

You huffed. "Dude, that sounds weird."

This made Yeonjun let out a heartfelt laugh as he dropped the satin shirt on the chair and you quickly averted your eyes to avoid accidentally staring at his toned upper body.

"It isn't illegal to look, you know?"

You rolled your eyes. "Yeonjun, if you don't shut up right now."

He laughed again and walked up to you. "Then what?"

"I'm done," you stated, turning around to leave the room. But just before you could even try to open the door, Yeonjun's hand had already sneaked past your body to lock it.

You felt your heart skip a beat and turned around to face him but for some reason, you had not expected his face to be this close to yours, causing you to almost jump.

"Have you never heard of personal space, Choi?"

"I have. But I don't mind sharing my personal space with you," he cheekily smiled.

Your heart was now hammering against your chest and you hated the way he was capable of flustering you this much. He was your best friend, for God's sake.

"That's cute. But I do mind sharing my personal space with you, so-" You shoved him away with the palm of your hand to his forehead and he let out a small huff.

"Boring."

You rolled your eyes and walked toward the chair to grab Yeonjun's hoodie before throwing it at him.

"Get changed, Casanova."

Halting in your tracks, you turned around. "Speaking of being a Casanova; your chemistry with Lana was through the roof today."

Your comment earned a surprised look from Yeonjun after he pulled the hoodie over his head, an action that tousled his gelled hair.

"It was?"

You hummed. "The way you looked at her? Damn."

He felt his insides turn hot at your statement. "Y-yeah?"

You grinned. "Why are you so shy all of a sudden?"

Yeonjun avoided your gaze and went to look for his sweatpants. If only you knew the reason he was able to look at Lana like that was because he imagined you standing in front of him instead of her, maybe then you had reacted differently.

"I'm not getting shy. I'm just trying t-to find my stupid sweatpa- where are they!?" He groaned, making you chuckle because you both comprehended he wasn't frustrated over the fact he couldn't find his sweatpants. He was frustrated over the fact you affected him like this.

You looked at him with a smug expression on your face and leaned against the door, making Yeonjun freeze when his eyes fell on you.

Why was it getting so hot in this room? He wondered as his eyes scanned you from head to toe.

He let out a small breath before mentally slapping himself back to reality.

"Can you leave? I need to change my pants," Yeonjun ordered as he walked toward you.

"Oh, so now I have to leave?" You grinned and Yeonjun rolled his eyes as he pushed you out of the room. "Pick something we can order for dinner," he murmured before successfully closing the door in your face.

He heard your laugh from the other side of the door and he couldn't help but let out a breathy chuckle as he rested his forehead against the door. Oh, what were you doing to him?

"I'm not going to the event tomorrow, by the way." Your voice sounded playful now but Yeonjun shook his head nonetheless as he went to grab his pants.

"I'll be at your door at eight. Either you're going to wear the dress I ordered and sent to your place or you're going to be dressed in sweatpants, I don't care. You're accompanying me either way."

You were glad he couldn't see your face when you heard he had ordered you a dress because your jaw was practically on the ground.

"O-oh my God, Yeonjun, I-"

"Please just wear the dress," he breathed.

For once, Yeonjun was grateful that he, even though he owned a lot of confidence, had just enough doubts and insecurities left in him to stop himself just in time from saying the second part of his thoughts out loud.

I need to see you in it.

You let out a shaky breath as you looked at yourself in the body-sized mirror in your bedroom. The satin material felt soft under your fingers as you smoothened it down. You shook your head and let out a small sigh. Even after having spammed Yeonjun with messages and a call freaking out about it and him responding with "you deserve this. stop thanking me" you still just couldn't wrap your mind around the fact Yeonjun actually bought you the dress you wished for so badly.

TWO WEEKS EARLIER

"Yn, can you hurry up? I want ice crea-"

Yeonjun halted mid-sentence when he noticed why you had stopped walking. He walked back to stand next to you and followed your gaze.

Your eyes were glued to the black satin dress hugging the body of a mannequin behind the window of the boutique. It was long and had a split mid-thigh. There was no doubt about it, the dress was gorgeous, magical almost.

Yeonjun eyed the way you looked at the dress with admiration in your doe eyes.

"Do you like it?"

"Yeonjun, it's literally the most beautiful dress I've ever laid my eyes on."

Your best friend smiled surprised at your lovesick expression. He had never seen you this mesmerized by a piece of clothing. You must have really liked it.

"You should try it on! Let's go inside."

You tore your eyes from the dress to look at Yeonjun with an unsure expression on your face. "You think so? I'm not sure it would look good on my body. I mean the mannequin is so much thin-"

"Hush," Yeonjun interrupted you with furrowed eyebrows. "No one would rock this dress better than you. Let's go try it on."

A warm feeling bubbled up in your heart and you scrunched your nose as you looked at Yeonjun with a smile on your face. Your best friend could be sweet sometimes.

Yeonjun felt his eyes soften at the sight before grabbing your hand. "Come on."

"Wait." You pulled him back, keeping your hand in his, and looked for the price tag.

"I don't know what the dress costs ye-" your sentence got interrupted by the laugh escaping your mouth when you saw the small price tag.

Yeonjun let out a confused noise at your sudden outburst.

"Yeah, no, forget this ever happened. Let's get ice cream, Jun," you chuckled as you pulled him with you, away from the boutique.

"What, why?" He stopped you and looked at the price tag. He winced, knowing how much money this was for you.

But you liked the dress so much...

"Aw, come on, Y/n. I've never seen you this stunned by a dress. Just try it on, maybe it's worth the mone-"

You smiled but Yeonjun knew it wasn't genuine.

"No, it's okay, Jun. I can live without that dress. Plus, I'm still saving money for that car for my mom, remember? I shouldn't be buying new clothes at all right now."

Yeonjun looked at you with an unsatisfied furrow in his eyebrows but you instead raised yours at him in a reassuring way, a smile on your lips.

"I promise, it's not a big deal, dude. Let's get ice cream." You tugged softly at Yeonjun's hand, making him let out a disappointed sigh.

"Alright."

The two of you started walking to the ice cream shop and you quickly began conversing about another subject, trying to mask your disappointment. But your voice faded to the background of Yeonjun's mind because the only thing he could concentrate on was the dress. You worked so hard and barely ever treated yourself the way you deserved to be treated. He hated it.

Yeonjun looked back over his shoulder to the boutique and shook his head.

You had to have that dress.

PRESENT

A smile colored your red pained lips as you thought about your best friend. Even with all the teasing and mocking, in your eyes, he would always be the kindest person in the universe. There was no one who believed in you the way he did, who appreciated you and made you feel loved the way he could.

Even your ex-boyfriend had never made you feel as beautiful as Yeonjun made you feel every single day.

You felt tears start brimming in your eyes at the overwhelming love for Yeonjun that rushed through your veins and heart. But you could not ruin your makeup after having spent thirty whole minutes on it and quickly blinked the tears away. Yeonjun would probably have laughed at you if he knew you were about to start crying over him and the thought of this immediately made the tears dry up.

You went downstairs to put on your heels and just when you were done tying the straps around your legs, the doorbell rang.

Letting out a breath, you glanced at yourself in the mirror one more time before unlocking the door.

Yeonjun looked up from his phone to greet you, but the moment his eyes fell on you, the words died in his throat and the bouquet of flowers almost fell from his hand.

He looked at you with his mouth ajar and even if he tried to, he couldn't stop himself from scanning you from head to toe, his eyes lingering on the parts of the dress that hugged your body beautifully.

You suddenly felt self-conscious and looked down at your dress. You knew it looked better on the mannequin. Of course, it wouldn't look on you the way Yeonjun imagi-

Your thoughts got interrupted when Yeonjun spoke up.

"You," he breathed, "are going to give me a heart attack one day." His voice sounded so calm and serious, it made you let out a giggle. And just like that your nerves and insecurities left your system. Yeonjun was the only one who could do that to you; make your heart both accelerate and calm down in a span of ten seconds.

"Good evening to you, too," you grinned before taking the flowers Yeonjun handed you without taking his eyes off you. "And, thank you."

You couldn't hide the smile tugging at the corners of your lips with every word leaving your mouth.

"You will definitely give a lot of people a heart attack as well tonight, don't worry," you then stated, eyeing him as you smelled the flowers—your favorite ones.

Yeonjun looked down with a close-mouthed smile on his lips and a heart that was beating twice as fast. For some reason, he didn't care about other people. He cared about you. Your reaction. Your opinion. That was the only thing on his mind when his stylist was dolling him up. That was the only reason he asked his hairdresser to not cut his hair and keep it long instead. The way you liked it.

"You didn't cut your hair." You pointed at his hair as if having read his thoughts.

This made Yeonjun instantly look up with a hopeful glow in his eyes.

"I love it," you mumbled as you looked at his hair.

“Yeah?” He replied a tad too quickly.

Your eyes flickered from his hair to his own and you chuckled at the eagerness in his voice.

“Yeah.”

He let out a sheepish laugh, realizing he sounded a little too desperate, and quickly looked down at the Rolex on his wrist. "W-We're going to be late. Let's go."

Your eyes followed his eyes but instead of looking at the watch, you couldn't help but let your gaze linger on his veiny hand for a second or two before nodding your head. "Yeah, let's go."

The atmosphere was relaxed and warm in Yeonjun's matte, black Lexus LFA as he drove to the event. But the fiddling with your rings and constant glances in the mirror to check your makeup gave away to your best friend that you were nervous.

When you were about to adjust your lipstick once more, Yeonjun spoke up.

"Yn, you literally look perfect, stop stressing out."

You immediately sat back in the red, leather seat and let out a breath. "I'm just so not used to-" you gestured at how dolled up you looked, referring to the expensive dress in particular, "-all of this. I'm scared I'll embarrass you, dude."

Yeonjun frowned as he glanced at you.

"With the way you look right now, I promise, there's nothing in this world you could do tonight to embarrass me, love."

Your cheeks instantly heated up and you rolled your eyes at the pet name, quickly looking out of the window. "Oh, stop it."

"And you know what's funny?" He then asked, making you turn back to face Yeonjun with a raised, questioning eyebrow.

"Even if you had done nothing about your appearance and just rolled straight out of bed, I'd still show you off. You're just perfect like that," he shrugged, not taking his eyes off the road.

Staring at your best friend with an unbelieving smile on your lips, you shook your head slightly, feeling your heart pick up its pace.

"You sound like you're so down bad for me, Jun."

Yeonjun let out a small laugh that didn't reach his eyes. "If only you knew, Yn."

You blinked and the expression on your face now turned into a skeptical frown. Why did he sound so sincere?

"Yeonjun, what do you mean-"

"We're here," Yeonjun interrupted you with a smile, acting completely oblivious to the tension he had created with his words. You shook your head, not wanting him to change the subject just yet, but before you could respond, your eyes caught a glimpse of the marvelous mansion on top of the hill, and your jaw dropped.

"No way," you breathed.

Yeonjun grinned, leaning back against the leather headrest and turning his head to face you as you stared at the building for a few seconds in complete silence.

"What are you thinking about, hm?"

"Just wondering many times my apartment would fit in this castle." It wasn't the only thing floating through your mind but the more seconds passed, the less confident you were to ask him what he meant to say just a few seconds before. He probably didn't mean anything serious, right?

Yeonjun let out a chuckle, slightly alleviated you had seemed to forget about the words he blurted out just a few seconds ago. Only slightly, because sometimes he wished he could just drop the bomb and watch your reaction, waiting for something that could turn out in either one, a disaster or two, the kiss he had been dreaming about for ages now.

Yeonjun immediately felt his insides grow hot at the latter idea that he knew shouldn't appear in his head, and quickly took the keys out of his car. "Let's go. Inside you'll be able to decide better how many times your apartment fits in this place."

You grinned, turning to face your best friend whose wink you were able to catch just before he exited the vehicle.

With mesmerization written all over your face, you scrutinized your surroundings as you walked beside Yeonjun through the enormous front yard.

Yeonjun felt conflicted as he glanced at you. Part of him was feeling proud, being able to impress you with all of this luxury. But another part of him, the bigger part, felt spoiled. Because while your jaw was almost touching the ground at the sight of all the luxury, he was starting to get so used to these kinds of parties that this huge house that barely couldn't be called a house but rather a castle like you named it, did not affect him much anymore. He was starting to find luxury normal, boring almost. Was he spoiled for preferring to be taken to an unknown downtown cafe by you than going to a five-star Michelin restaurant with his team? For preferring to be at your apartment rather than this mansion that was about two hundred times as big? For preferring all the simplicity and bliss that came with being with you instead of the riches and luxury that came with his job? Had he turned into the people he used to detest? The ungrateful kind?

In a second Yeonjun was brought back to earth when he felt a warm feeling engulf his hand. He looked down at your intertwined hands and smiled softly. A sigh of relief fell from his lips, a relief only you could give him.

It was at that moment Yeonjun realized he wasn't ungrateful. He still appreciated all the things his job got him, but the reason nothing beat the simplicity of being with you, was because of you. Nothing beat being with you.

He looked up at your face, but you weren't looking at him. You were trying to get a glimpse of the inside of the building as you reached the foyer.

"Name?" The broad, black-clothed man asked, his voice firm and cold before looking up from his notepad. When his eyes fell on Yeonjun, a smile immediately appeared on his face. "Oh! Good evening, Yeonjun."

You felt pride grow in your chest at how well-known and respected your best friend was.

"Evening," Yeonjun smiled, his voice deep.

"Brought a plus-one?" The man eyed you and you awkwardly shifted in your spot, fearing you already looked out of place.

Yeonjun tightened his hold on your hand as he looked down at you, a proud smirk tugging at the left corner of his lips. "My one and only best friend."

You smiled as you looked up at him, and when your eyes locked, you felt your heart jump.

You didn't miss the way Yeonjun's eyes flickered from yours down to your lips for a split second before he turned back to face the guard. Why did that small action make something in your belly do a flip?

"Is it OK if we pass?" Yeonjun grinned.

"Of course." The man immediately stepped aside, the tension between you and Yeonjun almost half having distracted him from doing his job.

The exterior of the mansion had already amazed you, but nothing could've prepared you for the grandiosity that was the inside of the establishment.

The illumination coming from the large chandeliers decorating the high ceiling reflected in the shiny beige, marble floor as you walked over it. Your eyes roamed over the rich-looking people talking and laughing with each other and your grip on Yeonjun's hand unconsciously tightened, making him give you an encouraging squeeze in return.

"You're beautiful," he whispered in your ear reassuringly and you immediately felt your cheeks heat up. In a second, you remembered the words he had said just before you arrived, and the warmth in your cheeks spread through your entire body.

"If only you knew, Y/n."

What did he imply with that comment? Was he just being playful or was he suggesting something else, something more? And why did you still hope for the latter? Why were you still not over your feelings for him after forcing yourself to forget about them for months?

You shouldn't be feeling this way. He shouldn't be making you feel this way.

You let go of your best friend's hand.

Yeonjun frowned, feeling a small pang in his chest at the cold, vacant feeling in his hand. He quickly cleared his throat, recomposing himself. "Let's go." Not waiting for your answer, he started walking to the great hall of the mansion. You swallowed as you watched him walk away before trailing after him.

"Two Boulevardiers, please," Yeonjun ordered at the bar, not liking the wines the waiters were offering the guests.

"Sounds fancy. Are the wines too cheap?" You joked, trying to lighten the tense air but to your dismay, it sounded clumsier than you hoped it would. He rolled his eyes with a small smile on his lips before handing you the glass of what was a fancier version of Negroni and you let out a small sigh of relief at the sight of his smile. Perhaps nothing was going on. Perhaps you were just overthinking every single move right now after what he told you in the car.

You smelled the drink and squinted your eyes. "Damn, this stuff is strong, isn't it?"

"It's good," Yeonjun responded before downing the drink at once.

You looked at your friend as he sniffled and ran a hand through his hair. The way he downed the drink made you almost believe he was making an effort to get tipsy quickly (not that it would work with just one drink) and you couldn't help but slightly frown. No, telling yourself nothing was going on would be lying.

You frowned. "Wait, how are you going to drive back home?" You asked, not tasting the beverage yet.

"Calling a taxi," he responded, not looking at you.

"What about your car? You're just going to leave it here?"

"I'll ask one of my managers to get it for me."

"Oh." You slowly nodded, an embarrassed chuckle leaving your lips as you averted your eyes to the floor. You almost forgot just how rich your best friend was.

Finally, you took a sip of the drink and scrunched your face at the feeling of the alcohol burning your throat, making Yeonjun's eyes shift to you. He couldn't help but smile. You had always been bad with alcohol.

"You okay?" He asked and this made you down the entire drink before turning to face him.

"I am okay. Are you, though?"

Yeonjun swallowed, his nose and cheeks slightly red due to the alcohol and he looked away. "Yeah, I'm fine."

You knew he realized you were hinting at the tense air between you two but he seemed to ignore it.

However, as you examined the somber glint in Yeonjun's eyes, your best friend instinct won from whatever you were feeling at that moment and you slipped your hand in his before slightly squeezing it.

"Are you really okay, Jun? Are we okay?" You asked, forcing him to look you in the eyes as you slightly tugged at his hand.

His eyes locked with yours and they immediately softened. He gave you a smile and nodded. "Yeah. Everything is okay, love."

The answer didn't free you of the unexplainable feeling pressing onto your chest but you just nodded. You didn't know what answer you were looking for, anyways.

"I hope you don't hate the party that much. I know you didn't exactly want to come," Yeonjun quickly joked and you let out a breathy chuckle.

"It's fine, I am actually quite impressed. Never seen this many good-looking people in one place."

Yeonjun let out a laugh and you couldn't help but laugh too. To your relief, the weight on your chest lost a few pounds.

"Come on, let me introduce you to some people," Yeonjun smiled and you quickly nodded before following him toward a group of well-dressed men and women surrounding a tall but small and round table.

A blond-haired woman you quickly recognized as the model Yeonjun did the Vogue shoot with —Lana—came up to Yeonjun and pulled him into an embrace. Your eyes flickered to the way his hands were positioned on her tiny waist before shifting to the smile on her face that was caused by something Yeonjun whispered in her ear.

You forced yourself to look away, swallowing whatever feeling had crept up on you at the sight— at the remembrance of the fact you were no one but a best friend to Yeonjun, one who did not belong in a place like this.

"Guys, this is Yn—my plus one for tonight." Yeonjun's voice and all the attention your way made you look up with wide eyes before you broke into an embarrassed chuckle.

"Hi, I'm Yn," you smiled clumsily, and to your relief, you received kind smiles from Yeonjun's friends.

"Hi, I am Lana!" The tall model chimed in, holding out her hand for you to shake. You smiled and took her hand but your eyes shifted to Yeonjun for a split second with a confused arch in your eyebrow only to find him catching your look with the same expression on his face.

"You already met her during the Vogue shoot, remember?" Yeonjun asked, scratching the back of his neck, something you knew he only did when he was either nervous or ashamed.

You quickly nudged your best friend's arm and painted a wide smile on your lips.

"Give her a break. She must've forgotten, it was such a busy day. Plus, I'm just one of the many people behind the camera, not very striking," you chuckled and the confused expression on Lana's face morphed into a bright one.

"Yeah, it really was such a busy day, right?" She gasped before going into detail about just how long her schedule was that day to the people around her.

Yeonjun knew you reacted to Lana this way to reassure him and that only made everything worse. He believed you were more than striking, and he hated how Lana made you feel like you were invisible to people like her—like him.

As you listened to the conversation between Lana and another woman who you just learned was called Minhee, you felt Yeonjun's hand find yours below the table and give it a small squeeze, making you look up at him.

I’m sorry was what he mouthed and you quickly shook your head, scrunching your nose and giving him a funny smile.

Don't worry about it, nothing deep, you mouthed back, nudging his shoulder softly before looking straight ahead again.

He lowered his head and your heart leaped when his warm breath hit your skin as he whispered “love you” in your ear, keeping his face so neutral people around you might as well believed he mentioned something about the weather to you.

You turned your head and your breath almost hitched in your throat at the proximity between your faces. "Love you too," you whispered, your voice almost inaudible, before you turned away from him but not without noticing the way Yeonjun's eyes flickered to your lips for a split second for the second time tonight.

After having talked to most of Yeonjun's friends, you came to the conclusion they weren't as stuck up or out of touch with reality as you secretly expected them to be.

Particularly a guy named Lee Minho, who wasn't exactly a friend of Yeonjun but a friend of a friend.

"So how long have you been doing photography? I've seen some of your work and I do think it is very much striking,” the brown-haired man said as he leaned his elbow on the table and let his chin rest in his hand, a small smirk dancing on his lips.

You couldn't help but beam at the fact he was showing interest in your profession. You were so surprised he had seen your work that you didn't even notice the up-and-down look he gave you. Just when you were going to answer him, Yeonjun beat you to it: "She's been photographing everything she finds interesting for as long as I can remember. Back when we were like ten years old, I would constantly lose her because she'd pause somewhere to take a picture of our surroundings with the camera my mom gifted her."

Both you and Minho shifted your attention to Yeonjun who looked at you with a sweet smile before glancing at Minho for a split second with the same smile on his lips but a completely different expression in his eyes.

You cleared your throat before nodding, "Y-yeah, like Yeonjun just said, I've been into photography since I was a kid. It turned from a hobby to a profession when I started majoring in photography at University."

Your eyes lingered on Yeonjun when you spoke the words before you averted your attention back to Minho.

"Thank you, by the way," you timidly smiled. "What about you, how did you get into modeling?" You then asked Minho, not missing the look the brown-haired man gave Yeonjun before he turned to you, a bright smile replacing the expression on his face.

"I was scouted actually! I never thought I had the potential to be a model until a middle-aged woman came up to me and asked me if I was interested in dropping by the modeling agency," he responded and you raised your eyebrows, mouthing a small 'wow'.

"I thought I was being scammed at first, though."

This comment earned a heartfelt laugh from you, making him chuckle too.

You felt Yeonjun's stare burn into the side of your face and when you looked up, your senses were confirmed. Your eyes met his and he instantly looked away, a vague expression of disappointment flashing through his dark eyes.

You frowned before turning back to Minho.

Why didn't Yeonjun seem glad you were getting along with the people here and were actually having a good time? Wasn't that what he wanted? God, the air between you and your best friend was so peculiar the whole evening.

After a few minutes of you chatting with Minho, you felt a nudge against your arm, making you turn to the side.

"Hey, Yn, want to dance?" Yeonjun asked, the corners of his lips twitching into an almost timid smile, and he gestured at the people slow dancing on the dance floor now that a fitting song started playing from the speakers. Your heart made a small jump and you were just about to nod your head when you remembered Minho's proposition of a minute ago.

You offered Yeonjun an apologetic smile before turning to Minho. "Minho actually just offered to give me a tour through the mansion. I'm sorry."

Although the smile stayed on his plump lips, the rest of Yeonjun's face seemed to fall, his eyes losing the excited glint in them.

His Adams Apple bobbed up and down before he nodded. "Oh, yeah, sure. Don't worry about it."

He glanced at Minho before dropping his eyes and excusing himself from you two, leaving you behind with an uneasy feeling in your chest as you watched him walk off.

"Let's go?"

Minho's voice pulled you away from your thoughts that were Yeonjun-shaped and you cleared your throat before nodding and following Minho.

"Another Boulevardier?"

Yeonjun looked up from his hands to the man behind the bar counter before slowly shaking his head.

"A water is fine."

Drinking his pain away now would be easy, too easy. You deserved more than that. You deserved to be felt. So that was what Yeonjun was doing now.

He was letting himself feel the love he held for you, and the pain it caused him.

His gaze was focused on the glass of crystal clear water in front of him, tapping his index finger against it softly, but every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was you. Your sharp eyes that would turn big and innocent when Yeonjun stepped close to the line that separated friendship from being more. Your soft looking lips that Yeonjun dreamed to not just feel against his cheek once in a while, but against his own lips—and not just once in a while. All he could see was your bright smile and all he could hear was your heartfelt laughter.

A smile crept upon Yeonjun's face, one that did not reach his eyes. He needed you more than he ever thought he did.

A new presence beside Yeonjun made him look up.

"Hey, Soob."

"Where's Yn?" Soobin asked, coming straight to the point.

Yeonjun averted his eyes back to the glass of water.

"Somewhere with Minho."

"You've got to tell her, Yeonjun."

The outer ends of Yeonjun's eyebrows drooped and he bit his lower lip. "And do what? Ruin our friendship and lose her? I'd rather die, Soobin."

Soobin sighed and ran a hand down his face. "Bro, listen to me, okay?"

Yeonjun glanced at his friend for a second, letting him know he was paying attention.

"I know I don't know Yn that well personally, but I would have to be blind to not notice the way she looks at you, I can't believe you don't see it."

Yeonjun frowned, fidgeting with the rings on his fingers. "That's how she looks at everyone."

Soobin chuckled. "We both know you're lying. You know you're the only one she looks at that way."

Yeonjun's heart sped up and he hated himself for allowing the balloon of hope to inflate in his chest.

"Do you think it could mean something?" He asked carefully.

"Yeonjun, I don't think it does, I know it does."

Yeonjun looked at Soobin with furrowed eyebrows, his mind going all places. "Should I tell her?"

"If Minho hasn't already, then yes."

Yeonjun's eyes widened and for a second he was frozen in place. Minho. With the way the man was looking at you tonight, it would be no surprise he was going to ask you out, or maybe already had.

He could not let that happen, he could not let his last bit of hope disappear in thin air.

"I have to find her," Yeonjun breathed and almost tripped as he jumped off the bar chair. "Thanks, Soob."

Pushing through the crowd of people, Yeonjun made it to the staircase and he skipped multiple steps to save time.

With his heart beating in his throat and his breathing rapid, he ran from room to room only to find every single of them empty, not a sight of you or Minho. God, why was this mansion so unnecessarily huge?

Two girls walked past Yeonjun and he quickly recognized them from a past event.

"Hey, did any of you see Minho perhaps?"

The girls halted their steps. "Yeah, he's in the art room. The one with all the paintings and sculptures," the girl on the left replied and the other added: "It's at the end of the hall, on your right."

"Was he with a girl?"

The girls nodded and the one on the right sighed. "Yep, and I wish I was her. He seemed to be very into her."

Yeonjun's eyes widened in horror. "A-alright. Thanks." And with that, he dashed off.

When he got closer to the room, he started hearing muffled sounds of two people talking and he quickly recognized your voice.

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes for a second or two. It was now or never, he told himself before walking to the entrance of the room.

But just when he was going to enter, his eyes fell on a sight he had often imagined in his head. The only difference was just that in his head it was him standing in front of you. It was him pulling you closer, pushing your hair out of your face, and lifting your chin. In his dreams it was him.

But in real life it was Minho.

Yeonjun's body deflated, his shoulder slumping and his face falling.

He was too late. He was too late and it was his own fault. He had wasted the seas of time he had to let you know what was living in his heart. But just because he knew he was the one to blame didn't make the knife in his chest was wounding him any less.

Tears filled his eyes as he watched Minho slowly close the gap between you and him. Yeonjun took a few steps back before looking away, not being able to handle seeing him kiss you.

Without looking back once, he walked off, leaving you unaware of his feelings once again.

Minho softly tugged at your waist, pulling you closer to him. Your eyes roamed over everything in the room except for the man in front of you.

The rhythm of your heartbeat was unsteady and when you finally dared to look up in Minho's eyes, the unfamiliarity of them told you your heart wasn't racing in a pleasant or exciting way. You were nervous and stressed—uncomfortable.

Minho was perfect. Kind, attractive, and most importantly, into you.

But he wasn’t Yeonjun. He wasn’t the person who made you feel the safest, happiest and most appreciated girl in the world. He wasn’t your best friend whom you had been in love with for over two years. He wasn’t the one for you.

"I-I'm sorry," you muttered and pushed yourself away from him just before he could come any closer and close the space between you two entirely.

Minho instantly took a step back, his eyes averting from you and his lips curving into an embarrassed smile.

"Sorry, I thought you-" he raked a hand through his brown, silky hair, "never mind, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uneasy-"

You raised your hands and quickly shook your head. "No! No, no, you didn't do anything against my will. It's just that-" You halted and looked away from Minho, the floor suddenly becoming the most fascinating thing to examine.

"It's just that...?"

You understood that Minho deserved an answer and thus you collected all the courage inside of you and turned your head to face him.

"I think I am already in love with someone else. And although I tried to deny my feelings and refuse any possibility of them existing, it's not fair to him or you or anyone else to pretend like I'm ready to move on when I'm not."

Surprisingly, a small weight lifted itself from your shoulders the moment you admitted out loud that you were in love—in love with your best friend. You were tired of lying to yourself and everyone around you. But most importantly you were tired of lying to Yeonjun.

And just like that, you knew you had to tell Yeonjun what you truly felt for him.

Minho slowly nodded. "It's Choi, isn't it?"

Your widened eyes answered Minho's question and a disappointed chuckle escaped his lips.

"And I hoped I was wrong when I sensed something between you two just half an hour ago," he smiled and you returned the gesture, an apology painting the outlines of your lips.

"I'm sorry," you repeated and he shook his head.

"Don't be sorry, we don't choose whom we fall in love with, do we?" He reassured you and you let out a shaky laugh.

"We don't."

Minho gave you a kind smile before gesturing at the door. "Well, I guess you better go and find him then?"

You blinked a few times before slowly nodding. "Thank you, Minho."

Although part of you felt bad for leaving Minho like this, the larger part of you couldn't wait to finally open your heart for Yeonjun and confess to him all that was inside it. You were finally ready.

The heels you were wearing were making it difficult for you to rush your way down the stairs, but after almost tripping twice, the ground level was finally back beneath your feet.

Squinting your eyes, you tried to make out your best friend in the crowd of people. Usually, you were able to find him relatively quickly because of his height, but this was an event a lot of models attended, which meant he wasn't the only tall person anymore.

You were about to grab your phone from your purse when a familiar face caught your eyes, making them light up as if they had just witnessed a fallen star. Yeonjun was making his way to the balcony it seemed.

You pushed through the crowd, mumbling clumsy excuse me's and I'm sorry's to get to your best friend but the moment you were getting closer, you noticed he was holding two drinks in his hands.

You frowned in puzzlement. Was he looking for you or...?

You halted in your steps.

He wasn't alone on the balcony. And the drink was surely not for you.

Lana took the drink from his hand with a seductive smile on her lips and took a sip of it without breaking eye contact with Yeonjun.

With wide eyes, you watched the way Lana took Yeonjun's drink and placed both glasses on the table beside them before positioning her hands on his chest. Yeonjun's eyes flickered from her eyes to her lips and when he took a step closer to her and she whispered something in his ear, you felt nausea bubble up inside of you. Please, don't.

Unfortunately, he could not hear your silent prayers, and the next second he had her pressed up against the wall with his lips on hers.

You didn't even notice you were holding your breath until you were running out of oxygen and a staggering exhale escaped your red-painted lips.

Taking a shaky step back, you shook your head in disbelief before forcing yourself to turn around.

You bit your trembling lower lip and desperately tried blinking away the tears pooling in your eyes. You could not be seen crying at this event.

You tried to make your way to the exit but a voice calling out your name caused you to halt in your steps.

After quickly wiping your eyes, you spun on your heels and landed face to face with Soobin, whom you knew as Yeonjun's close friend.

"Soobin, hi!" Your attempt to sound cheerful was pathetic, to say the least.

"Hey, Yeonjun was looking for you- is everything okay?" He frowned worriedly when he noticed your glossy eyes.

A strangled noise escaped your throat at the mention of Yeonjun looking for you before you hastily nodded. "Yeah, no, I'm fine. What do you mean Yeonjun was looking for me?"

"Yeah, he wanted to talk to you about-" Soobin quickly cut himself off, remembering Yeonjun should be the one to tell you.

"About what?" You questioned, the corners of your lips being pulled downwards as you fought the lump in your throat.

Soobin shook his head. "Y-you should go to him. I think it's important."

This time it was your turn to shake your head. "I don't think whatever he wanted to talk to me about was that important."

The black-haired man in front of you furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "What? Why?"

You looked to the side before nodding at the sight of Yeonjun and Lana on the balcony. "Because he's busy."

Soobin followed your stare and when he saw what you were talking about, his jaw fell open and almost reached the floor.

"What the hell," he whispered to himself in disbelief.

"Hey, I am going to call a taxi to go home, okay? I'm not feeling all too well. Can you let Yeonjun know?" You asked Soobin as you took a step back.

"Yn, wait, I think Yeonjun doesn't want you to leave without him. You know he always needs to know you're home safe before he can relax."

It was true. Yeonjun was the most protective person you knew, especially over you. And you hated the way your heart warmed at the recollection of that.

"I don't want to... bother him right now. It's alright, he won't know I'm gone until I'm home, probably. Good night, Soob," you answered with a kind smile that didn't reach your eyes, and Soobin's shoulders slumped in defeat. He couldn't believe what was happening.

Just before you started making your way to the exit, you turned around once again. "Oh, and can you tell Yeonjun I had a good night? And that I hope he does too?"

Just because your heart was shattered in pieces because of him didn't mean he didn't still deserve to have a good night. His happiness would always matter most to you.

Soobin's eyes softened and he let out a sigh. "I will. Good night, Yn."

You tightened the leather coat around your body as the chilly night breeze hit your bare legs. Grabbing your phone from your purse, you checked the time again. Where was that cab?

Just as you were storing the device back in the black handbag, an all too familiar voice made you freeze.

Gradually you turned around and you were met with a breathless Yeonjun making his way to you, his hair slightly tousled and cheeks flushed. Any other day you'd find he looked endearing with messy hair and rosy cheeks. But right now, the state he was in was making you nauseous because you knew the reason behind it.

"Yn, what the hell, why did you suddenly leave without saying anything?" He panted, looking into your eyes with a worried and confused expression in them. "I thought we were going to hang out at your place after the event."

The expression in your eyes, on the other hand, was unreadable to him.

"I am just not really feeling well and I didn't want to bother you because you were having a good time. I told Soobin," you explained without looking at him once.

He huffed. "A good time?" If only you knew how terrible of a time he had after finding you with Minho.

The confused arch in your eyebrows at his remark made him shake his head as if to wipe away the comment before he continued talking. "You should've texted me. I don't want you taking cabs alone at night. Just tell me what's wrong, please."

You sighed. Could he stop being a gentleman for once and not make things harder for you?

"God, there's nothing wrong. Plus, I am a grown woman. I'll survive," you muttered, feeling a ball of frustration start growing inside of you. With him, with yourself—with everything.

"Come on, Yn, at least be brave enough to look me in the eyes when you're lying to me. Why did you leave?"

Sometimes you wished he couldn't read you so effortlessly. But after having been best friends for fifteen years, that was an impossible wish to fulfill. Because after all these years spent together, you were as transparent as glass to him.

Yeonjun knew you better than anyone else. From what your favorite animal was to what events in your childhood led you to become the individual you were today.

Yeonjun knew you through and through.

Except, when it came to your feelings for him. To that, he was completely and utterly blind. Or maybe, just too insecure—not confident enough to consider that maybe, just maybe, you held the exact same feelings he held for you.

You sighed in annoyance and tightened the grip on your purse.

A presumption seemed to flash through Yeonjun's mind because suddenly it was as if something in his eyes shifted and his chest heaved.

"Yn, did Minho do anything to you? Because if he did-"

Your head jerked up, a horrified expression covering your face. "Oh my God, no! No, not at all."

Yeonjun's nostrils flared and his eyes were wild as he raked a hand through his hair. "Yn, I swear-"

You seized his other hand and pulled it to obtain his attention. "Yeonjun, he didn't do anything. I promise. Now calm the hell down."

With stern eyes, you held contact with his dark ones and slowly they seemed to soften. Your best friend finally appeared to believe your words and the veins in his neck relaxed as he released a ragged breath that held a sense of relief.

"Okay, good." He nodded his head a few times as if trying to calm himself down from the thought that had his insides burning with fury. "Good."

You nodded too and a short silence fell over the two of you before it got interrupted by the sound of an engine.

"There's the cab. I'll see you later, okay?" You muttered before turning around to make your way to the vehicle.

"I'm coming with you."

"Oh my God, Yeonjun, I told you, you don't have to-"

"Just get in the car, Yn," he replied and the sternness that engulfed his usual soft voice made you bite back a response and instead enter the car in silence with Yeonjun following you.

The silence in the taxi was thick and the tension was nearly suffocating.

Glancing at Yeonjun, you found him looking out of the window with furrowed eyebrows and a clenched jaw.

You didn't blame him for being angry with you. You were acting irrationally and unfairly—punishing someone for breaking your heart when they weren't even aware of doing so in the first place wasn’t reasonable, you knew that. And still, you couldn't find the strength to pull yourself out of this state and apologize to Yeonjun. And suddenly, telling him the truth seemed like the scariest thing you could do after seeing him all over Lana.

Nausea bubbled up in your stomach once again at the memory. Your Yeonjun, kissing another woman.

Your Yeonjun who was free to date whoever he wanted. Your Yeonjun who didn't owe you anything because you had never found the courage, to be honest with him.

Your Yeonjun, who wasn't yours.

You turned to look out of the window, trying to scoot as close to the car door as possible. Away from him.

Now it was Yeonjun's turn to peek at you and when he saw your smaller figure in the corner of the car, he suddenly had to fight back the tears burning his eyes.

Touching his lips with his fingers, he felt sick with himself. Sick and guilty at the memory of kissing a woman that wasn't you. A woman he felt nothing for.

Why did it feel like he betrayed you?

He wasn't yours and you weren't his, and still, he felt ashamed. Ashamed because instead of mourning the fact he would never get the opportunity to call you his lover, he let his weakness win and went to find himself a distraction to try and forget about you when you were worth so much more than being forgotten—even for one evening.

His gaze slowly wandered over your frame and he had to bite the inside of his lower lip to stop it from trembling as the tears threatened to fall from his pained eyes.

God, why weren't you his? What was wrong with him for you to not be able to love him as anything more than a friend?

Yeonjun finally tore his eyes off you and quickly wiped away the one tear that managed to escape as subtly as possible.

But you noticed. Of course, you did.

And you suddenly felt extremely sick with yourself. You were putting Yeonjun through something he didn't deserve.

With sad eyes, you looked up at Yeonjun and when you noticed the glossy layer on his eyes, your heart dropped like the flowers from a broken lover's hands.

You had to tell him the truth.

After what felt like an eternity, the cab arrived at your place.

You nervously smoothened your dress. "Won't your management mind you left without any security?" You were aware you were procrastinating telling him the real issue.

Your best friend's shoulders tensed up for a second at the sound of your voice before he shrugged them. "It's not the first time."

You nodded. That was true.

Yeonjun luckily was permitted to go out without bodyguards or any other type of security on regular days, but when it came to events that were known to the general public such as this one, he would usually be accompanied by at least one escort.

But Yeonjun was like a rebellious teenager sometimes—running from his own security so he could flee an event early and make his way to your apartment.

"I'm sorry you..." you cleared your throat, "had to leave earlier because of me." You were truly sorry. Because although you didn't ask him to do so, you knew Yeonjun would never let you go on your own. So when you decided to leave the event, you were aware of the possibility Yeonjun would find out and leave too. You just hadn't cared. But now as you look at your best friend, the disappointed glint in his eyes and the defeated arch in his eyebrows, you felt guilty. He technically had done nothing wrong, and you ruined his night.

"I'm really sorry," you repeated, your voice barely above a vulnerable whisper.

He nodded and you took a deep breath, collecting every inch of courage in your body. This was it. All the months you dreamt about him, hoped to one day be more than just friends, wished you could call him his. All the secrets. You were going to confess them to him now.

"Yn?"

Your words died before leaving your mouth.

He looked up at you after calling your name and your heart skipped a beat when his dark, familiar eyes bored into yours.

"Are we... Are we okay?"

You blinked a few times and you had to fight the wave of tears that was about to break the dam behind your eyes. No, I am not okay and I was just going to tell you why.

With your lips parted and eyes widened you stared at him.

Uncountable emotions fled through your body in that one moment looking at Yeonjun.

But there was one that stood out the most, one that you had always felt for your best friend, even before you grew to have romantic feelings for him: love. Unconditional and genuine love.

Pieces of core memories you shared with him flashed in front of your eyes for a split second and you remembered once again just how much he meant to you. How much his happiness mattered to you.

And if Lana was the one making him happy now, you did not want to come in between that.

Hiding your feelings for Yeonjun for so many months but suddenly dumping them on him the day he kissed someone else was not fair to both Yeonjun or Lana.

Slowly your face softened and a small but sincere smile colored your lips.

"We will always be okay, Jun. Whatever happens."

He was your best friend, and you'd rather die than live a life without him in it.

Yeonjun released a breath he didn't know he was holding until you answered.

A weak smile gradually grew on Yeonjun's face before he nodded his head. You were right. Whatever happened, it would always be you and him. Even if it broke his heart to know it would just be as best friends.

"Yn, wait."

You raised a questioning eyebrow.

"You were going to tell me something just a second ago, weren't you? I feel like I interrupted you," he asked frowning.

You swallowed, almost amazed at how well he could read you, before sighing and shaking your head. "No, I wasn't saying anything. It probably just seemed like it."

He slightly narrowed his eyes and tilted his head. "Are... Are you sure?" He leaned in your direction and took your hand in his, making your breath hitch in your throat.

"You can tell me anything, remember?" He gave you a gentle smile as if to remind you it was your best friend you were talking to. The person you had known since you were only eight years old.

And you were so close. So close to spilling all your secrets to him.

Just not close enough.

Smiling, you squeezed his hand before letting go of it. "I just got a little anxious at the event. I'm sorry I acted off to you because of it. You didn't do anything wrong."

Yeonjun's shoulders sagged but it seemed to be out of defeat rather than relief, and the sight of it made you wonder how convincing you sounded.

"I think I should go now, the driver must be tired of waiting for us."

The driver wasn't the only one then, Yeonjun thought.

"Let's watch Friends another time okay?"

Yeonjun nodded, his face deprived of emotion.

"I owe you!" You tried to sound cheerful before closing the car door and making your way to the entrance of your apartment complex.

With the sight of Yeonjun's defeated eyes engraved in your mind, you walked away from him. The bigger the distance grew between you and the car, the more you started falling apart, and you wondered if Yeonjun could tell.

Usually, when people bid each other goodnight, they would go to bed, close their eyes and fall asleep.

But it was now two in the morning and you, on the other hand, were wide awake, sitting on the couch in your living room with a cup of tea in your hand, hoping sleep would take over you soon.

After getting home, you had changed into your pajamas which consisted of a fitting long sleeve shirt and sweats, the usual clothes you'd wear whenever you would hang out with Yeonjun. When that thought had appeared in your mind as you were putting the shirt on, you almost wanted to throw it back into your closet and dress into a different top.

But you fought the feeling. You were not going to push away your best friend or the idea of him just because he happened to break your heart with every word or glance he offered you. It wasn't his fault he had the power to do so. It wasn't his fault he was so perfectly what you wanted in a lover that it made you want to scream into a pillow or cry yourself to sleep because he wasn't lying beside you, cuddling you.

It wasn't his fault.

Sighing, you slouched back into the couch and stared at the heels in the corridor you hadn't bothered putting back on the shelf.

Your eyes averted to the door and to your dismay pieces of memories began passing by in your mind. When Yeonjun showed up at eight in the morning because a new part of your favorite movie had gotten announced while you were still asleep. When the two of you stumbled in, weak from laughter and the two (or three) glasses of wine you had on a night out at your favorite restaurant. When Yeonjun left his job mid-photoshoot because you had accidentally locked yourself out at ten in the morning after a run and he was the only one who had spare keys to your apartment.

When he showed up at three in the morning to hold you because you had found out your ex-boyfriend was cheating on you.

You softly smiled. That door held an overflowing amount of memories.

You were so deep in thought, that the loud buzz sounding through your apartment caused you to jump up from the couch and the inner corners of your eyebrows to pull together in suspicion.

"Yn? It's me. I know you're not sleeping yet."

The familiarity of the voice that belonged to none other than Choi Yeonjun made you release a relieved sigh and your shoulders relax for a second until a new balloon of anxiety grew in your chest. What was he doing here?

Taking a deep breath, you braced yourself for whatever feelings would strike you the moment you'd see him again before you finally made your way through the corridor to the door.

When you opened the door, your heart instantly weakened. Yeonjun stood in the dim hall of the apartment complex with tousled hair, grey sweats, a black hoodie, and his favorite (now beat up) black Converse All-Stars.

His shoulders sagged in relief at the sight of your wide-awake state. Although he had known you weren't sleeping by the fact his texts were being delivered to your phone which wouldn't have been possible if you were sleeping since you never forgot to put your phone on airplane mode the moment you'd close your eyes, he was still relieved you opened the door.

You glanced at the clock on the wall beside the door before shifting your gaze back to Yeonjun.

"A little early for a morning run, isn't it?"

The smile on your lips was deprived of authenticity and it didn't reach your eyes as your words interrupted the quiet night atmosphere.

Yeonjun's stare was intense as he watched you and you physically felt the air between you thicken.

"Yn, I need you to be honest with me."

He decided to come straight to the point.

Your shoulders slumped because you knew you needed to. You knew you needed to be honest with him. You just couldn't.

"I-" he swallowed and raked a hand through his raven hair as he looked around, searching for the right words, "there is something up between us and I know you were going to tell me about it back in the cab. We both know you acting this way and the air between us this entire night was much more than you just feeling a little unwell."

He knew you so terribly well.

Guilt was eating you up but unfortunately for Yeonjun, anxiety was fighting it. And the latter was winning.

"It is nothing, Yeonjun, really. You shouldn't have come all the way here. Why didn't you text me-"

"I did text you! Can you just stop lying to me and tell me what the hell is up with you because I've known you for longer than a day and I know some-"

Yeonjun's raised voice faded to the background as memories of Lana's hands and lips on him reappeared in your mind and suddenly it was like a frustrated balloon of anger popped in your chest, blowing away all the other emotions swimming through your body. Emotions such as guilt, heartbreak, and shame. All of them were silent for just a second. And that second was enough for you to let your guard down. Enough for you to break down and fall apart, right in front of him. So with a raised voice and an open heart you ultimately confessed.

"Yeonjun, don't you see? I'm in love with you!"

The man in front of you froze in place, halting his sentence. With wide eyes he watched you continue your outburst of a confession.

"I've been in love with you for too long now and I am so incredibly embarrassed because I know you are my best friend, and I hate myself for not being able to view you as just that," you sniffed and ran a shaky hand through your hair, "I hate myself for feeling sick and angry and hopeless about you having something with Lana. I hate you for being so lovable, for making me fall in love with you without reciprocating my feelings. But you know what I hate most of all?" You let out a humorless chuckle and shook your head. "What I hate most of all is that I can never hate you at all."

Yeonjun listened to your sentences carefully, and every word that entered his ears made his heartbeat pick up its pace. The shocked frown on his lips was slowly but surely being replaced by a small, emotional smile as the realization started to hit him. You loved him. You loved him the way he loved you.

You were just as much his as he was yours.

Frustratedly, you frowned and a tear made its way out of your eye and down your flushed cheek.

"Come on. Say something, Yeonjun," you muttered, shame lacing your hoarse voice.

And Yeonjun responded. Just not in the way you expected him to. Not with words.

He took a step in your direction and his hands delicately cupped your warm cheeks before he closed his eyes and captured your lips with his plush ones.

Your eyes grew in size for a second but quickly fluttered shut when his thumb softly started tracing circles on your cheek. And in that moment, time seemed to stop. Everything and everyone in the world seemed to stop, leaving just you and him on this earth.

Just you and Yeonjun.

Your hands hovered above his, not daring to touch them or the man in general because of a fear this dream would stop the moment you'd do.

After a handful of seconds, he slowly pulled away but stayed close enough for your breaths to morph into one and his hands to remain on your cheeks. Your eyes gradually moved from his lips to his own dark eyes, and your noticed his dilated pupils as he stared at you with a nervous furrow in his eyebrows. His eyes were so full of intensity and emotion, it made your knees weaken.

Now that he had given you a piece of him, you weren't sure you were ever going to be able to let go of it, of him. You needed him, more than anything.

Cupping his face, you brought it closer to yours once again and this time it was you who locked your lips together.

You quickly realized this kiss was different than the first. The first was careful, fragile. This one was full of passion and fervor as if the both of you were terrified you would wake up any second, and the moment would have been nothing but a dream. A dream the two of you had had many of before.

He kissed you with all the longing and aches he had been feeling for the past two years. Uncountable days he had had to drown himself in distractions so he wouldn't feel the lack of your presence. Even when you were there with him, he had feared that it would never be enough, that he would never get over his romantic love for you and he would never be able to get rid of the empty hole in his heart you weren't filling.

Now, he was kissing you at two in the morning, with every inch of love and passion in his body. And it was better than he had ever imagined.

You stepped back and Yeonjun followed after you into the hallway of your apartment, closing the door with his foot without taking his lips off you even for a second. His lips were so beyond soft and gentle against your own, it made your heart double in size and all the worries in your body and mind evaporate in thin air.

"I am so, so in love with you, Yeonjun," you whispered against his mouth, and Yeonjun wondered if you realized the impact such words had on him. He wondered if you knew it caused tears to pool in his eyes and his knees to weaken.

You had been his best friend for as long as he could remember. And he knew you would always be his best friend. But from now on he was also allowed to call you his lover. And he couldn't believe the universe had given him this irreplaceable gift.

He pulled away and smiled from ear to ear at you as he gently pushed a strand of hair behind your ear before whispering:

"I'm completely and entirely yours, Yn."

A/N: Hi, my loves! Finally, I am posting again :’) From the bottom of my heart I’m so sorry for having been so inactive the past month. I hope now that I’ve finished this fic, I got out of my writing slump and will be able to write more again. I hope you guys enjoyed Heartbreak On The Dance Floor, thank you so much for reading! Please let me know your opinions🤍 ps. big thank you to @sungbeam for having supported me the past months and for getting me through writing this fic, love you <3

#i actually cried towards the end of this #THE EMOTIONS WERE ALL THERE #AND THEN TENSION #AND THEN #GOD IT ALL JUST HIT AT THE ONE MOMENT #i cant stop crying #so happy for them #this was so beautifully well written and god i am going to bed w this fic in my mind cause it was so good #like i actually cant stop crying LMAO #but so good

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babiesanshine · 11 months

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🥀 . . . ( four · c.bg ) !

╰ pairing — classmate! beomgyu x gn! mc

╰ pantone & word count — aouad au · fluff & 967

╰ warnings — mention of zombie apocalypse and food · gyu wears glasses

╰ mona likes — so i’ve been very inactive on this blog but there’s no way i’m missing this special day. (i took a prompt from nightprompts.. i think- and twisted it a bit.) for the second year in a row, happy birthday to my biggest supporter, to the one who never fails to defend and attack me, my bubba.. matty 💛

beomgyu used to dangle his feet over the deep end of life. he’d often think about jumping into it; surrendering himself to chance. but having control was safer, so he’d shuffle over to the shallow end.

‘i’ll do it some other time,’ he’d constantly promise to himself. a dumb decision, really; especially after almost losing it altogether. honestly, he shouldn’t be so hard on himself—how to survive a zombie outbreak isn’t included in any schools’ curriculum.

that’s why it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that he has no idea what to do now. roaming the quarantine camp doesn’t sound appealing, especially not on an empty stomach..

come to think of it, maybe that’s what beomgyu should do. his assigned nurse did tell him that the mobile canteen’s serving lunchboxes. finding a place to demolish eat the overdue meal will be challenging, but he can tackle that matter afterwards.

for now, he must look for the treasure.

“excuse me- uh, hello- sorry-” falls out of beomgyu’s mouth frequently. he didn’t think that asking for help would be this hard, but when everyone is caught up in their own endeavors, he’s questioning his belief.

just when he’s about to try again, he hears someone calling his name. or maybe it’s his stomach begging him to hurry his search..

“hey, choi beomgyu!”

..okay that definitely wasn’t his tummy.

curious and confused, the bespectacled male turns around. to say his stomach twists and flips is an understatement (he swears it’s given up on functioning altogether) as you walk up to him, elegantly weaving between the passersby.

“for a second there, i really thought my mind was playing tricks on me.” you tell him, unaware that beomgyu’s is malfunctioning. “it’s nice to see you got out of the school too. of course, minus the scratches, but still, alive.”

this is supposed to be the part where beomgyu says something like yeah, same or i’m glad you’re okay too.. but the brunet not sure if that’s going to happen. see, even with the bandages and the specks of exhaustion that remain in your bright eyes, he still believes you’re gorgeous.

and he knows that your mere presence is threatening his control over his heart’s erratic thrumming.

he must have wasted too much time daydreaming, for you bring up another topic, “oh, are those new glasses?”

“y-yeah, well.. you see, i lost the other one on the way here so i have to wear this oldie. it’s not the right prescription but i guess something similar’s better than nothing.” he chuckles awkwardly; a lopsided smile and pink dust dabbed on his cheeks to complement the look.

“that’s true.. does that mean you won’t need these anymore?”

he’s about to question your mysterious words when you pull out a familiar object from your coat pocket. thin, silver frame.. asymmetrical nose pads that almost never did their job..

there’s no way..

“i found them in the music room, figured i’d bring them along in case i bumped into you. the others said i shouldn’t be too optimistic but i didn’t listen. in fact, these glasses became my motivation so i made sure to take care of them.”

the last words are spoken so softly, as if they weren’t meant to be heard, but he did. maybe it’d be better if he didn’t, because now he’s willing to give up his heart to you. forget about self-control, he’ll do anything you tell him to.

(obviously everything outside of legal boundaries is not included.)

“can i..” at your nod, he removes his current pair to put on his old spectacles. it takes a minute and a few squints to adjust, but he’s certain of one thing: he missed his glasses. “thank you for looking after them, it feels so good to see clearly again.”

“don’t sweat it, they weren’t a problem-” you pause, only to lightly push the frame up the bridge of his nose. you’ve already done so much for him, that would have been enough for the lovestruck boy. but you just have to brush his bangs away from his eyes, right?

“alright, i’m gonna head back to my tent now. hopefully i’ll see you around!”

hopefully? beomgyu’s not about to let that amount to nothing more than a wistful thought.

“wait!” you stop and turn around so eagerly, were you expecting him to say something else? the flustered male’s not about to get caught up in that observation so he hastily asks, “i know we almost just died a few hours ago but i was wondering.. maybe- no, would you like to go have a late lunch with me?”

..maybe this wasn’t a good idea. judging by the contemplation dusted upon your visage, you’re thinking of a reason to reject his request. he won’t be surprised if you do—you’re one of the cool kids, while he’s a wallflower who’s only noticed when he says something funny—but a no would be enough-

“sure, i’d like that a lot.”

his whole body has shut down.

“wait wait.. hold on, did you just say yes?”

the laugh that the brunet never failed to hear whenever he made a joke falls from your lips again. this time, you got a radiant smile and echo of his earlier words to accompany it. “it’s about time you asked me out. then again, i guess now is better than never.”

and that’s how beomgyu ended up sharing a table and stories with you. of course it didn’t end in the canteen, how can it when he walked you to your tent—well, now yours and his. by the end of the day, beomgyu’s more than sure that he’s an absolute fool for you, but he doesn’t mind these newly realized feelings.

in fact, he’ll consider diving into possibilities more often.

( MASTERLIST & TAGLIST ) ⋆ @stealanity @strxwberry-skiess — send an ask / dm to be added !

#BYE THIS IS SO CUTE #AND WHOLESOME #I PHYSICALLY SCREECHED AND WAS LIKE #AAAAAAA #MONA I WAS LIKE 🥹🥹🥹 the whole time #never gonna stop thinking about this now

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babiesanshine · 11 months

Text

KISS, DON’T TELL — 18: are you my father

send an ask to be apart of the taglist!

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a/n: profanity, mentions of kissing, sorry for ending it like this i don’t have room left in this chapter 😔

please do not translate, modify or repost on other platforms.

#they held hands #heehehhehehehehhee #but damn… everyone wants to know what happened #i wonder what’ll happen next update…

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babiesanshine · 1 year

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KISS, DON’T TELL — 17: say yes

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a/n: profanity, mentions of kissing, 🤭🤭🤭

please do not translate, modify or repost on other platforms.

#BRUVVV #WHAT HABBA #DID THEY KISS OR WHAT #PLS I GKTTA KNWOWOOD #DI CANT AWAIT UNTIL MONDAY1?!:;

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babiesanshine · 1 year

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KISS, DON’T TELL — 16: chances

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a/n: profanity, suggestive (? not really)

please do not translate, modify or repost on other platforms.

#hard oof from soobin #damn…#i mEAN WE ARENT SHOOTERS FOR BEOMGYU YET BUT ITS OKAY #EVERTHIGN WILL COME TOGETHER

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babiesanshine · 1 year

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KISS, DON’T TELL — if's and when's

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a/n: written (3.8k) + smau. mentions of kissing, nothing else i can see! so sorry for the wait i hope this was worth it 😔

...

but good to know :D

really y/n?

y/n could have chosen to ignore the last few messages of his remorse and just told him them were on their way. they also could have chosen to ignore that beomgyu can actually bring a smile to their face and their limited interactions have been replaying in their head since they have occurred. it’s hard to ignore a feeling like that.

texting beomgyu these past days and observing him in class has led y/n to believe that maybe there is more to him than what he is displaying. it’s no doubt that he keeps up an image for everyone else to believe and roll with, hell, even idolize with. y/n knew that already, but they weren’t sure if there was anything below the surface. did he even have a personality besides the obnoxious one that was 24/7? the fact that he seemed to be sorrowful about his comments just now might insinuate that he has a conscious. sure, it wasn’t there before. perhaps something shifted in the boy recently. why?

come to think of it, y/n really doesn't know anything about this guy. he plays guitar, that’s something, right? does beomgyu want to become a musician despite being stern about the fact that he doesn’t have a passion? he has to have one.

questions, questions, questions that y/n is hoping to get answers to.

most of all, why is he still hung up on the shared kiss that happened four years ago?

choi beomgyu intrigues them, whether they would like to admit it or not.

“y/n! hello?”

y/n shudders away their thoughts and stares blankly at the red light in front of them. their hands grip tightly around the dark leather material around their steering wheel as they glance at their car radio. an ongoing call with their friends that has lasted fifteen minutes.

y/n reaches for their temple as they begin to mindlessly rub circles, waiting for the light to turn green. they kept their word to soobin’s request to call them when they were heading to beomgyu’s house.

“sorry, what happened?”

someone groans in response, y/n’s guess is eliana. her groans were engrained in their head as they were always the receiving end to them.

“we were talking about going to disneyland during winter break,” eliana reminds with no distinction in her voice.

yes, disneyland. of course. y/n readjusts themselves to the mood and the light changes as they do, stepping their foot on the gas pedal.

“right- yeah, i’m on board-”

a howl cuts y/n off mid sentence as each speaker in the vehicle blasts with each rhythm of laughter, that of which belongs to kai. y/n is taken aback momentarily, but it soon hits them that was not the topic of conversation.

“can we actually go, though?” kai genuinely asks once he pulls himself together. soobin agreeingly replies with instinct to satisfy kai in the moment.

“you’re not paying attention,” eliana points out to y/n, seeing right through them despite not being in the car with them. “what’s up, babe?”

y/n makes a U-turn once they realize that they missed the correct street. “sorry guys, i was distracted.”

“y/n, you don’t have to go if you’re not comfortable,” soobin advises which brings a slight smile to y/n’s face. soobin was always protective over them and the whole group appreciated him for it, even if it could be overbearing at times.

“no no, it’s not that,” y/n reassures as they look at their phone mounted on the dashboard to check if this is the right corner to make a turn.

“then what is it?” kai asks with some concern in his voice. being the youngest in the group has always made him worry for his older friends. he was a perfect little brother.

“nothing! trust me,” y/n barely tries to sound convincing. the group looks it over this one time considering that y/n is driving. it would be understandable if their attention wasn’t fully there.

y/n ends the gps navigation as they push the center console to park. “i’m here.”

they haven’t been to beomgyu’s house in years, not since the incident occurred. frankly, the trauma it induced for them made them forget the details of the inside. the patio outside reminisces the other houses in this neighborhood. though it’s dark outside, the beaming stars in the night sky highlight the string of florescent lights that shape the doorway in the front. it’s a nice touch, they remember it made them feel comfortable coming in last time.

“it’s not too late to back out,” soobin says one last time. he’s still nervous for his best friend.

“i’ll be fine soobin,” y/n replies before he continues to go on. they stare at the home and release a whisper. “i hope.”

“okay, well, text us right after,” eliana cautions, bringing out her inner mother role.

a swarm of goodbyes and love you’s were exchanged before the call was ended. y/n detaches their phone from the dashboard and gathers their essentials and soon exit the vehicle. they give their car a lock as they head towards the doorway. each footstep is light, but tense. it’s until now that they see some bear stickers on the door and they can’t help but admire the cuteness. they wonder if that was a recent addition as it wasn’t there the last time.

with a big inhale, they ring the doorbell.

there was a moment of waiting and y/n contemplated ringing it one more time. they remember what eliana said about coming across as desperate, but they never cared about that prior to this. in all honesty, they needed to rely on beomgyu. he was their co-star after all.

why do they now feel this twisting feeling inside their stomach at the thought of being desperate?

y/n hears footsteps approach the door and they straighten their sweater to prepare. they’re wearing a simple white t-shirt that hugs their figure just right with a light blue hooded sweater, courtesy of kai. his clothes were always the comfiest and y/n made it a habit to search through his closet every time they come over. soobin gets slightly pouty at the thought. y/n doesn’t know if it’s because they borrow kai’s clothes, or if he wants to borrow them. the thought makes them chuckle.

fresh conditioned air blows right at y/n’s face as the door opens and the boy stands at the other end. he’s wearing brown plaid pajama bottoms topped with a beige crewneck with a teddy bear in the right corner. that little detail makes y/n think the decor on the door was intentional. a hint of softness makes some way into their heart. they fight the urge to smile.

“hey,” beomgyu greets with a downwards smile. “did you make it over here safe?”

beomgyu’s voice has a naturally tired tone to it. even if he’s not sleepy it always sounds casual and lustful. y/n doesn’t know if it’s always been like this or if they just noticed.

he’s also asking about their safety. who is this guy?

“um, yeah,” y/n replies as they rock their feet back and forth. beomgyu nods and realizes that he has to let them inside so he opens the door all the way and reaches his arm out to gesture the inside. y/n takes the offer.

with each step y/n observes the house as much as they can. it has been a while since they’ve been here but as far as they remember, not much has changed. some furniture has been rearranged and some new decor here and there, but it’s still very much beomgyu’s home. the interior has black and brown elements which gives it a homey feeling. it’s like if autumn and hot chocolate was a home.

just like he said, he did have the house to himself. beomgyu leads them to the kitchen and y/n sees a few family photos plastered on the fridge door. some were just of his parents, others were baby pictures of beomgyu. it seems like he’s always been on the devious side after catching a glance of a young boy pointing a toy gun at the camera with no thought behind his eyes.

y/n glimpses at a group photo with beomgyu, his parents, and an older child. they were posing in front of an amusement park with big grins on their faces. y/n has never seen this other boy before, perhaps it was beomgyu’s brother.

y/n shifts their gaze over to the kitchen counter and sees two bowls of ramen sitting in the center. guess he was being serious about providing them with food. they were starving though.

“i don’t know how you usually eat yours so i just put my fixings on,” beomgyu speaks slightly embarrassed. y/n eyes the bowl a little longer than they intended. they were just trying to piece together why on earth he would make them food.

“relax, i didn’t poison it or anything,” beomgyu jokes while holding the soup in his hands, digging into his first bite with his chopsticks. the idea did cross y/n’s mind, which makes them feel a bit apologetic.

is that how bad they see him?

y/n slowly walks over to the aisle and joins beomgyu. “do you want to work here?”

“we could go to my room,” beomgyu suggests as his eyes hide behind his bowl while he slurps some broth. there was no hint of anything sinister in beomgyu’s voice but the statement still makes y/n’s eyes widen.

“no,” they simply respond faster than they wished. they walk around the counter and sit in one of the spinning chairs where their bowl lays out in front of them. “right here is fine.”

beomgyu shrugs his shoulders and sits down next to them. y/n reaches to their tote bag and pulls out the lengthy script which has notes sticking out from certain areas and highlighted parts to accompany them. beomgyu nearly chokes mid slurp at the sight.

“sooo, how do we do this?” as beomgyu stretches out his question, y/n takes their first bite into their food. just as they feared, it was delicious. so much flavor in everything, but not too overbearing in being salty or spicy. they could attempt to figure out which brand he used, but they’re here for other things.

“well,” y/n finishes swallowing their food. “we could start with any questions you might have.”

“yeah, i’m sure you have all the answers,” beomgyu stiffly laughs as he brings his head forward to the script that centers in front of the two.

y/n feels their cheeks flush red and heat up at the exposure. they hope he doesn’t notice. “i just mean if you need anything to be clarified. it could help you play the role better.”

beomgyu draws in his breath and stares at the stack of papers longingly. throughout his education, he was taught to find the theme of each piece he reads. reading this script has given him an idea of what it could be in this case, but some parts are a bit foggy. he feels self-conscious asking y/n what it is. he doesn’t want them to think he’s an idiot, even though they probably already think he is. they’ve made their dislike for him quite obvious.

“um, i guess,” beomgyu holds his gaze in front but can feel y/n’s eyes on his. his blood pulses through his skin. “what this story is really about, you know, deep down.”

he’s expecting y/n to laugh in his face just like he did to them the other day, but they don’t. instead, y/n understandingly nods as they push their half eaten soup to the side to leave enough room to put their elbows on the table. for some reason, beomgyu finds this endearing. he was always scolded for leaving his elbows on the table. it wasn’t polite, apparently.

“well, ben is at crossroads when he gets into a college with a full basketball scholarship, but also gets into his dream school that would support his performing arts career. no one knows he's interested in that field so it's the good 'ol following the head or heart thing, which i'm always a sucker for.”

beomgyu watches y/n go on about the story for the production, even going over key plots that beomgyu might have missed. he notices there seems to be stars in y/n's eyes as they continue to talk. he can tell that they're speaking from the heart.

“i'm assuming that's the passion concept mrs. kim was going over in class the first day?” beomgyu guesses in thought.

“yeah, ben loves to perform and even plays guitar at some point,” y/n eagerly responds. “which should be easy for you, since you play right?”

beomgyu feels a small smile form on his lips. he quickly covers it up with another bite of his meal.

“wouldn't you consider that your passion?” y/n decides to try to get an answer out of him. it's been bugging them all this time that he hasn't been open about it.

“i know you really enjoy it, beomgyu,” y/n did catch his change in expression earlier. “you must be good at it too. if you admit that's what you're passionate about, it'll help you a ton.”

there's a moment of silence as beomgyu takes in their words and figures out what to do with them. the quiet atmosphere is almost uncomfortable and y/n can't tell if they've overstepped their boundaries. they consider leaving, but they did have an agenda here, and that was to rehearse some of this with beomgyu. instead, they opt for reaching to turn the page.

“i do love playing guitar,” beomgyu promptly admits. “and it is my passion. my uncle gave me my first guitar when i was in middle school and i haven't stopped playing since.”

y/n smiles at the thought of a small beomgyu, who was probably more unhinged than he is now, sitting down and playing a relaxing acoustic guitar. if they were told this years ago, they wouldn't have believed it. the more they look at beomgyu, it suits him. the calluses on certain fingers with those round, deep brown eyes of his focusing on a music sheet. the low husk to his voice covering songs with a beautiful essence.

“why didn't you want to admit it in class?” y/n realizes they needed to speak before it appears they've been staring at the boy for too long.

“because i barely wanted to admit it to myself,” beomgyu responds in full honesty. “my parents just see it as a hobby and don't think it can take me anywhere in life as it's not an official profession.”

y/n recalls the text beomgyu sent about only them and his parents knowing he plays guitar. his last sentence even has them think about their conversations with their dad, that sentiment hits too close to home. y/n chooses not to bring it up to beomgyu. they sit with caution as they wonder how many questions they could ask him.

“there's so many things you could do with that talent,” instead of potentially saying the wrong thing, y/n offers him some possible careers to lift his spirits. “you could be a songwriter, a producer. hey, even when you make it in the big leagues you could be a sound engineer in the blockbuster movies!”

there's a part to y/n's monologue that catches beomgyu's attention.

when you make it in the big leagues.

they didn't say if, they said when. beomgyu has never heard that word in regards to his future. it was always 'if', 'maybe', or any other tense that doubts his passion.

has he gotten his first supporter? and was it someone he has shared a moment so personal as a kiss?

“you said when,” beomgyu decides to bring up the fact.

it takes a moment for y/n to register what he means, but with the astonished expression on his face, the feeling soon settles in on them. y/n has their supporters, it was time for beomgyu to have his. despite how they feel about him and their past history that annoyingly hangs on their head, they weren't a monster. perhaps it was time to see beomgyu in a different light and it appears that they were the only one to do so.

“so throughout the story dae is there for ben to open his eyes in realizing that pursuing his dream is the right path to go,” y/n steers off in a different direction. “since it's romance, of course there has to be a fling between them.”

beomgyu softly smiles to himself picturing the story unfold. “i'm sure ben appreciates dae being there for him and seeing what he can do.”

y/n feels warm as they see beomgyu finally start to understand the plot and it only took them to have an honest conversation. talking with beomgyu wasn't as bad as they expected.

“i'm sure dae loves supporting him through it all when no one else would.”

beomgyu lifts his head up to face y/n who is gazing right back at him. it's the first time their expression isn't written in disgust or annoyance. in fact, it appears to be loving. he wishes it could always be like this.

the moment stretches out a little longer and beomgyu can't help but glance down at y/n's lips. he wonders if it still tastes like cherry chapstick. the red tint they have makes him believe it's still accurate. y/n catches the gesture and coughs down some air as they play with the edges of the paper. they fight the urge to not rip the ends of it and curl them into little balls, a habit they got from kai.

“so…yeonjun and taehyun don't know?” y/n speaks in an airy voice, their eyes still locked on the words written in front of them.

beomgyu doesn't know if they're referring to the guitar thing, or the kiss they shared four years ago.

frankly, y/n isn't sure about what they mean either.

still, beomgyu chooses an answer to please both questions.

“not a single thing.”

y/n hums in response, their lips tight together. beomgyu plays with the chopsticks in his now empty bowl when he hears a voice speak up once again.

“would you be able to play for me?”

beomgyu knows this question is referring to his talent for guitar, and due to the seriousness he's been displaying this entire time now, he switches gears for a lighthearted moment.

“i'll play for you when we go on a date.”

y/n would expect some rage boil down to their stomach, as they would have reacted that way before. this feeling, though? was it butterflies? nervousness? whatever it was, it sure wasn't negative. this night is full of firsts.

“do you…do you want to rehearse some of it now?” y/n clears their throat in between. beomgyu doesn't question their non-response and agrees with a head nod.

…

the two got through the first act right at midnight. to their surprise, beomgyu wasn't that bad at acting. sure, he missed a couple cues that ensued some awkward presentations, but it's nothing they couldn't work on together. they even liked the slight challenge. being co-stars with soobin now seemed too easy for them.

beomgyu was the difference they needed.

“you can be honest, you know,” beomgyu speaks in a playful manner as he finishes the last dish to wash. he hands the bowl for y/n to dry with a damp rag.

“i mean it! you weren't terrible,” y/n chuckles while they reach to put the bowl away in the cupboards.

after beomgyu and y/n finished rehearsing the first half they decided to wash the dishes. y/n didn't even suggest helping him dry, they just did it with no questions asked. still, it was another conversation starter.

“that means a lot coming from you,” beomgyu snickers and reaches for the rag in y/n's hands to dry his own. he smiles at them while looking down at their sweater, noticing a small stain of sauce near the front.

“hey, you got something there,” he points out as y/n glances down at the gesture, mentally cursing in their head. they hated getting their clothes dirty, let alone their borrowed ones from kai.

y/n whines as they reach for a paper towel to attempt to clean it off, only to have beomgyu stop them in between the action.

“you'll make it worse,” beomgyu advises. “i have a washing machine upstairs if you wanted to stay a little while longer.”

y/n would have rejected the offer if it weren't for their washing machine being repaired as they speak. they really loved this sweatshirt, they were hoping to wear it again this week. they scrunch their nose as their left eye slightly squints, thinking about what they should do.

they weren't repulsed by hanging out with beomgyu a little more, but sleep was about to hit them at any moment. it was better if they left now before they accidentally take a nap at a red light.

“i would but i should be getting home,” y/n apologetically responds.

“are you sure? you could give it to me and i'll have it ready for you tomorrow,” beomgyu cringes at the fact that he sounds like a dry cleaner. y/n finds it amusing.

man, how they loved that sweatshirt.

“fine just- don't screw it up,” y/n warns as they slip off the piece of clothing, feeling a breeze hit the bottom of their stomach as it lifts a little along with it.

y/n hands him the sweatshirt warily, hesitating to give it to him all the way, to which beomgyu responds with a deadpan. y/n smiles and ultimately gives it to him, and beomgyu places it on the couch for him to put away later.

y/n walks over to their tote bag and beomgyu suggests walking them outside. part of it was to be a gentleman, but he just wanted to see them drive away safely. y/n wouldn't be aware of the second option.

“don't forget your script next time,” y/n finally instructs him at the door. they're on the outside as beomgyu stays inside, hanging his arm on the doorframe as a slight smirk forms on his face.

“wouldn't count on it, i love this story too much now,” beomgyu doesn't mean to admit the last part, but y/n can't help but cheese at the statement.

“i'm glad to hear that,” y/n crosses their arms with a grin as they take a few steps back, ready to head to their vehicle.

“i'll give you updates on your sweater when i text you,” beomgyu calls out to them. “goodnight, drive safe.”

y/n sends over two thumbs up and begins to back up once they're inside their car. beomgyu doesn't head inside until they're completely out of his sight.

…

y/n doesn't fall asleep as quickly as they would've thought. they've been spending the past hour mindlessly scrolling through their feed, feeling their eyes blink slowly each time.

how could they sleep when tonight went better than they thought?

a notification appears at the top that brings a grin ear to ear and it's at this moment they realize one thing.

there would be no false promises between them and beomgyu.

there would be no more 'if's'.