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bacteria-alex · 4 hours
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You, a heroic paladin have successfully slain a fearsome dragon. But the dragon warns you that death is but a door, and dragons don’t die, they reincarnate. You paid it no mind….until your son was born with golden, slitted eyes.
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bacteria-alex · 5 hours
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bacteria-alex · 6 hours
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New discourse: it's actually predatory to date someone with a different star sign than you, because the differences in your personalities means you'll never be able to have exactly the same life experiences, thus leaving a knowledge and power gap between the two of you which will inevitably lead to an abusive relationship!
also if you're a Sag and you're dating a Taurus, that means you're secretly seeking a May-December relationship, which is age gap coded!
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bacteria-alex · 6 hours
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all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.
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bacteria-alex · 6 hours
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*going to a festival that celebrates what has for a long time been considered sexual degeneracy by society* Oh boy I sure hope I don’t encounter anything that society views as sexually degenerate!
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bacteria-alex · 2 days
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Linuxpilled rejectgendermaxxer
The boykisserrrr
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the gayyyyyyyyyyyyer
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bacteria-alex · 3 days
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bacteria-alex · 3 days
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when i was a kid i found an anti-new jersey fb group & as someone from new jersey i took it really personally for some reason, so I'd go on there and on an almost daily basis I'd make posts like "wont you visit our beautiful coastline? :)" and all the comments were like "i hope you get run over by a car" and it would give me insane anxiety but i kept doing it
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bacteria-alex · 3 days
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like okay if we're talking about this anatomically the ear holes on a human skull and a cat are actually in the same spot it's a difference in the shape of the cranium. you can see what's happening if you look at hairless cats
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ears is big. so you can put the cat ears wherever you want if you start them at the same point as where the human ears would go.
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just like. pull the sideburns back a little and it's fine. it's fine.
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it's the best way to catify your blorbos with visible human ears. but that's just my........ purrsonal opinion..............
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bacteria-alex · 3 days
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for sale, Christian baby parachute, never opened
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bacteria-alex · 3 days
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its so sad that radfem just means transphobe and not like. this
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bacteria-alex · 3 days
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bacteria-alex · 3 days
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getting surgery to give me a second head so i can tell twice as many lies as usual
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bacteria-alex · 3 days
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bacteria-alex · 3 days
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why do you think you’re a woman?
because women are swagful and im also swagful. come on now this is rookie shit.
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bacteria-alex · 3 days
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the only two ways i can categorize height is if i see something tall i go 'woah, big boy man' and if i see something short i go 'hah.. baby man' and idk what to blame for this. anyway wanna hear about the times ghosts have touched my ass
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bacteria-alex · 3 days
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