betta-be

[betta-be]

I know people on tumblr looove stories of underwater cave diving, but I haven't seen anyone talk about nitrogen narcosis aka "raptures of the deep"

basically when you want to get your advanced scuba certification (allowing you to go more than 60 feet deep) you have to undergo a very specific test: your instructor takes you down past the 60+ foot threshold, and she brings a little underwater white board with her.

she writes a very basic math problem on that board. 6 + 15. she shows it to you, and you have to solve it.

if you can solve it, you're good. that is the hardest part of the test.

because here's what happens: there is a subset of people, and we have no real idea why this happens only to them, who lose their minds at depth. they're not dying, they're not running out of oxygen, they just completely lose their sense of identity when deep in the sea.

a woman on a dive my instructor led once vanished during the course of the excursion. they were diving near this dropoff point, beyond which the depth exceeded 60 feet and he'd told them not to go down that way. the instructor made his way over to look for her and found a guy sitting at the edge of the dropoff (an underwater cliff situation) just staring down into the dark. the guy is okay, but he's at the threshold, spacing out, and mentally difficult to reach. they try to communicate, and finally the guy just points down into the dark, knowing he can't go down there, but he saw the woman go.

instructor is deep water certified and he goes down. he shines his light into the dark, down onto the seafloor which is at 90 feet below the surface. he sees the woman, her arms locked to her sides, moving like a fish, swimming furiously in circles in the pitch black.

she is hard to catch but he stops her and checks her remaining oxygen: she is almost out, on account of swimming a marathon for absolutely no reason. he is able to drag her back up, get her to a stable depth to decompress, and bring her to the surface safely.

when their masks are off and he finally asks her what happened, and why was she swimming like that, she says she fully, 100% believed she was a mermaid, had always been a mermaid, and something was hunting her in the dark 👍

[betta-be]

Having anotheg 'gork we have got to get out of bed faster then this' morning

[betta-be]

the idealized version of my tomorrow self will fix this

[betta-be]

[betta-be]

🛸 .。.:*°　🌙　•　　.°•　　🚀 ✯　.°• ★　*　　　°　　 .。.:*・°.　.°• 🛰 　°· 🪐.　 •　° 　 •  ☄ .。.:* ・°☆. •　.°•💫 .。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°

mutuals look we are in the planetarium together

[betta-be]

texts from the airport

[betta-be]

Candace and doofenshmirtz would be tumblr mutuals i think

[betta-be]

I know her tumblr would be fire

[betta-be]

It's still kinda wild how Phineas and Ferb managed to completely hijack an idiom. Now whenever someone hears a sentence leading with "If I had a nickel for everytime [...]", odds are their brain auto fills with "I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice," rather than "I'd be rich," or "I could [action that requires purchasing something requiring an obscene amount of money]". Y'know, what the idiom originally was

[betta-be]

why how where when

[betta-be]

on the one hand, extremely funny to get told “get help” by a fortune cookie, on the other, i can’t believe betterhelp has breached influencers and podcasters and started getting fortune cookies to shill for them

[betta-be]

obsessed w internet speak but specifically these two recent inventions:

1. statement (directly contradictory statement)

ie: “i’m normal now (lying)” or something like. “doing homework (scrolling tumblr).” it’s like a text version of looking directly at the camera. sarcasm but slightly to the left. amazing

2. wacky thought <- reactionary/self aware comment

it’s like?? the closest thing i can think of is movies where the characters break the fourth wall to pause the show and talk to you about it? like emperors new groove or lion king 1 1/2? self aware ironic kinda talk show-esque. whatever it is it’s brilliant.

love the way we’re bulldozing english keep it up team

[betta-be]

I understand some of you are 19 but that is not an old man, he's 32.

[betta-be]

i have a number of emotions, including: cowboy, lesbian, halloween, unconscious, 70s soft rock, pure unbridled rage, void, i’m dying squirtle, and pull the trigger piglet

[betta-be]

absolutely losing my mind that a bunch of nimby assholes spent $500k to build a sandcastle that was promptly wiped away

[betta-be]

Frankly some of you should be hornier over weirder shit. The fear of being too genuine is the enemy of art. Be a bit of a pervert. It's good for the health. Doesn't have to be a sexual thing just own up to being a bit obsessed in some cringe shit it's fine.

[betta-be]

everyone always sayin to me "not to be weird" you have to be weird. you have to be weird for your health