bewilderedbeest

[bewilderedbeest]

I'm like if a girl had the urge to scream and break something all the time but stays quiet instead

[bewilderedbeest]

I want someone who will treat the loose razors on my desk as casually as they treat the pens and weed and ash

I don't want it to be A Thing. I want you to sit with me and not worry about it, because I'm not worried about it.

If you bring it up that's fine, but support me, don't chastise me. Don't tell me it's Bad and Wrong and that I'm Too Beautiful and Such A Good Person I Dont Deserve It. I never said I wasn't good or that I don't feel beautiful or whatever.

It's between me and myselves and our coroner. You're just supposed to be here with me. If you don't like me then... maybe you should leave.

[bewilderedbeest]

Touched starved and touch repulsed

[bewilderedbeest]

[bewilderedbeest]

when they all flow together into a mass of shining red >>>>>>>>>>>>

[bewilderedbeest]

Haven’t cut myself in a while might just get silly with it later

[bewilderedbeest]

Me when I realize my scars I made to be permanent are, in fact, going to be permanent: :0

[bewilderedbeest]

nobody will love me now that my skin looks like i lost a fight with a house cat

[bewilderedbeest]

10 years strong of not trying lol

[bewilderedbeest]

May Sarton, from Journal of a Solitude [ID in alt text]

[bewilderedbeest]

Is it just me or do you guys also think abt cutting on ur face???

[bewilderedbeest]

Wish I wasn’t so weird and embarrassing

[bewilderedbeest]

Once I learn how to stop being me it’s over for y’all

[bewilderedbeest]

I wish there was a way to erase myself from people’s memories to disappear without a trace and become non existent to others

[bewilderedbeest]

I have two sides

I hate my scars

I want more

[bewilderedbeest]

sharing here because I have nowhere else to and it feels too ironic to remain unsaid lol (tw for sh mention I guess). At work the other day I was talking to a coworker about cats and I mentioned how my sister has three. This coworker no joke asks, "So how many scars does she have on her entire body?" And I was just like stunned for a minute because I'm awkwardly standing here a literal (hidden) canvas of scars from something that is pretty typically blamed on cats.

#shblur #shtmblr #cvtting addict #cvtt!ng #tw sh related

[bewilderedbeest]

dostoyevsky kinda ate with “your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing.”