bg3-bitching

[bg3-bitching]

i know im being rlly bitter abt this one, but halsin literally has nothing to do in act 3. his relevance ended in act 2, and he just doesnt have that much content anyway and hes badly written. and yet. and yet. ppl are including him in things over wyll, hes consistently more popular. ppl are always whining that wyll "is a boring goody two shoes" is "badly written" and doesnt have as much content as the other characters.

all those things apply to halsin even more than they apply to wyll. everything abt halsin is an unfocused mess. he doesnt have anything to DO for most of the game. he wont join ur party until u complete the only plot point his personal story has. but its wyll whos the problem. ok.

#bg3 fandom critical

[bg3-bitching]

as much as i love corruption arcs, there's just something so sexy about a character that can't be corrupted, to the point that he un-corrupts you instead

#PREV TAGS OMG THANK YOU #THAT'S THE EXACT WORDING I'VE BEEN NEEDING

[bg3-bitching]

"Wyll's entrance is too corny!!! Wyll's entrance makes me cringe!!!" You are playing DnD: The Video Game.

#bg3 fandom critical #I'll take corny over Fail Elf cringe any day

[bg3-bitching]

not gonna say it. but he popped into your head didn’t he

#the fail elf

[bg3-bitching]

overanalyzing is fun but some of y’all are batshit insane

#bg3 fandom critical

[bg3-bitching]

Combined with the "BG3 characters belong to WOTC/Hasbro" this article makes me want to eat glass

#larian critical

[bg3-bitching]

Astarion 🤝 Large Giant Spider: my sweet *wraps and eats you*

#the fail elf #god wish i could squish him like a spider #that arachnid is way more useful than him anyway

[bg3-bitching]

#bg3 fandom critical #throwing this at you all #until you cool off enough #to do some actual character analysis

[bg3-bitching]

“the problem is its never gonna be what all the fans want” imo the problem is the majority of fans have bad fucking taste like. if you write a story with the intent to keep editing it in line with what fans want you’re gonna end up with a shitty story. obviously you can take in criticism from early access but once you publish the thing you shouldn’t constantly be retconning characterization wtf. good god

#larian critical #bg3 fandom critical

[bg3-bitching]

LMFAO.

#the fail elf

[bg3-bitching]

RIP to everyone who cares about no character but Astarion because he's "the only one they relate to", but relatability isn't super important to characters I like. I don't make myself the main focus of media so I don't need to center it around myself to enjoy it. Guess I'm just built different :/

#astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion thoughts #you are projecting onto him #or you don't want to admit you're also not a great person

[bg3-bitching]

I know I have followers who actually like him, so know any frustrations are aimed at his fans who are completely uncritical of him.

[bg3-bitching]

Realized why everyone portrays Astarion as like, a genius manipulator or an mastermind deceiver, despite canonically being very bad at both.

It's because his title is literally "charlatan ". Now, if one considers themselves a charlatan, surely they'd be good at it right? WRONG. Every time that man tries to even fib, any character in the game calls bullshit. He's the DND version of "mediocre man somehow has renowned talent despite being bad at said talent".

"But he seduced people for hundreds of years!" Seduction/flattery is completely different from just like, normal socialization. Most of Astarion's dialogue shows he has no concept of what an average conversation entails. Despite his history, he's been just as socially isolated as the other companions. Hell he's not even great at his main skill, seduction, if anything goes off script. He flounders and has no idea how to improvise.

This is why portrayals of Astarion being anything other than socially off putting are just straight up wrong. I know you guys wanna portray Assty as a character capable of showing you have standards, but unfortunately wanting him so bad you're frothing at the mouth doesn't change that he's a loser. Making you a loser by association, and especially for wanting him so desperately. Every character that rejects him in game has higher standards than you, and this game had squid people.

#prev #you get it!!! #people say they like loser characters #and then do everything they can #to rid them of their loser qualities!! #love your cringefail white boi with pride dammit

[bg3-bitching]

Realized why everyone portrays Astarion as like, a genius manipulator or an mastermind deceiver, despite canonically being very bad at both.

It's because his title is literally "charlatan". Now, if one considers themselves a charlatan, surely they'd be good at it right? WRONG. Every time that man tries to even fib, any character in the game calls bullshit. He's the DND version of "mediocre man somehow has renowned talent despite being bad at said talent".

"But he seduced people for hundreds of years!" Seduction/flattery is completely different from just like, normal socialization. Most of Astarion's dialogue shows he has no concept of what an average conversation entails. Despite his history, he's been just as socially isolated as the other companions. Hell he's not even great at his main skill, seduction, if anything goes off script. He flounders and has no idea how to improvise.

This is why portrayals of Astarion being anything other than socially off putting are just straight up wrong. I know you guys wanna portray Assty as a character capable of showing you have standards, but unfortunately wanting him so bad you're frothing at the mouth doesn't change that he's a loser. Making you a loser by association, and especially for wanting him so desperately. Every character that rejects him in game has higher standards than you, and this game has squid people.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #astarion ancunin #happy Wednesday #I'm dual wielding bats at this hornet's nest

[bg3-bitching]

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

[bg3-bitching]

Whenever Astarion is being a cunt to the companions, the fandom thinks he's either hilarious or endearing. His cruelty is part of his appeal! That's why fans adore him so! The cruelty is part of his charm! You never see fans disapproving of his heinous canonical dialogue with the other companions. He's got trauma, his cruel words are excusable/justified.

However, GOD FORBID any of the companions respond to his words/actions with anything other than understanding and love. Disregard that literally every origin companion is also traumatized, that's never an excuse to even be rude to someone! Ignore that it's the same excuse used for why it's fine that The Fail Elf does it! Don't the companions know it's fine when Astarion does it because he has "more trauma" than any of them?

Doesn't everyone know that a character spec'd out with the "White Male" build can max out their Trauma™️ stat and unlock the ability to no longer face the consequences any of their actions?

shadowheart: so what should we expect in vampire dens

astarion: vampires lol

shadowheart: awesome. you should be executed

#bitching #bg3 fandom critical #brb gonna go swap out my IRL specs #so that I'm never to blame for anything ever #fuck like 95% of BG3 fans for real

[bg3-bitching]

It's funny you say Astarion only gets so much attention because he's a manipulative white man. Because I can prove it!

All the characters are hot and complex in their own way. But..

Lae'zel? Woman.

Karlach? Woman.

Shadowheart? Woman.

Wyll? Black.

The only other white male of the origins is Gale. But he's autism coded, so people act like he's the worst person ever.

Genuinely never understood how Gale's autistic traits get him hate meanwhile Astarion's everything makes the fandom froth at the mouth. Like, even in a battle of White Guys™️ fans prefer cruelty to "annoying". I put that in quotes because I don't find him annoying, but you know who I do? Grampy Elf Supreme.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #gale dekarios #the fail elf #bg3 fandom critical