me, catching myself wondering how i would look to an unseen voyeur and then modifying my facial expression and body position accordingly to make myself more visually appealing despite being completely alone in my room and its 2 am:
ur twenties are weird. i have the priorities of a kindergartener again. i don’t know what in the hell is going on EVER. i like colors. i like soup. i want to take a nap
Nie Mingjue: *putting down a bunch of glasses at the table, gentle chanting* shots shots shots shots shots shots, everybody
Lan Xichen: *looking into the seven glasses* these are espressos, DaGe.
Nie Mingjue: *handing 5yo Huaisang an organic cookie and his apple juice* I’m a single parent leave me alone.
Lan Xichen: *looking over to where five year old Wangji is trying to drink without a sippy cup lid today, he’s gonna need to be changed before they go, light sigh* I’m gonna get some of those too.
Nie Mingjue: There’s the absent-parented-older-brother spirit.
“At 19, I read a sentence that re-terraformed my head: “The level of matter in the universe has been constant since the Big Bang.” In all the aeons we have lost nothing, we have gained nothing - not a speck, not a grain, not a breath. The universe is simply a sealed, twisting kaleidoscope that has reordered itself a trillion trillion trillion times over. Each baby, then, is a unique collision - a cocktail, a remix - of all that has come before: made from molecules of Napoleon and stardust and comets and whale tooth; colloidal mercury and Cleopatra’s breath: and with the same darkness that is between the stars between, and inside, our own atoms. When you know this, you suddenly see the crowded top deck of the bus, in the rain, as a miracle: this collection of people is by way of a starburst constellation. Families are bright, irregular-shaped nebulae. Finding a person you love is like galaxies colliding. We are all peculiar, unrepeatable, perambulating micro-universes - we have never been before and we will never be again. Oh God, the sheer exuberant, unlikely face of our existences. The honour of being alive. They will never be able to make you again. Don’t you dare waste a second of it thinking something better will happen when it ends. Don’t you dare.”