I'm not simping solely for fictional characters anymore-
...
I hate this, it's weird, I wanna say something to them or at least one of my other irl friends but I'm too scared that 1: they'll judge me and 2: they'll TELL HIM. Dear god I do not need that-
BUT IT WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE (aka it's been on my mind for a few hours too long)
Yesterday, pool party with friends, right?
I knew that he did some workout stuff but I still was NOT prepared- (me, who was fully expecting him to wear some form of his normal outfit but for the pool- noooooope! Shirtless- very unprepared)
And listen, I knew I at least sort of like-liked him before cuz you know, personality and all that stuff, but come onnnn- like- what do I do now??
And then they were playing chicken fights in the pool or whatever the game is called, and after that they were standing on each other's shoulders and pretending to walk on water (We all had just endured a bible unit in our English classes)
He had offered for ME to stand on HIS shoulders- and for that to happen, you know, they gotta swim under, right? Well, we both have the dirtiest of minds (I also just have shitty balance so I was not about to try that anyways. That was the main reason on my mind but I thought of the other stuff after).
I don't even know if I have blushed since elementary school, but if I did then, then thank god for the sun because sunburnsssss
And then he couldn't find his shirt after we had all gotten out, and one of my other friends said that he didn't need the shirt (jokingly) and dear god I wanted to agree (verbally) but I'm too worried about my whole bullshit being too obvious if I did, so I just had to stay quiet. (He ended up not finding it and just having to leave cuz his parents were there)
But that- that day- just... that. It's not. Leaving. My. Mind. Alone.
Anyways- dear god give me luck, I need it. Especially for the thing that's been weighing on my mind since... uh... yesterday. But I can't stop thinking about it