bisexualnotcuir

[bisexualnotcuir]

sucks being febfem cause 95% of the "bi community" consists of women who have no intention of ever actually touching another womans pussy for as long as they live

[bisexualnotcuir]

All WLW can choose to prioritize women

Seek out other women.

Go to women’s meetings.

Choose female-dominated hobbies and go to their meet-ups, sign up for their teams, reach out to more experienced women for advice and guidance.

Set your dating app to “woman looking for other women”. Reject advances from men.

Reject male approval. You don’t need to be seen, judged, accepted or appreciated by any man. Your life is yours alone, your choices are yours alone, and men don’t deserve to weigh in on any of it.

Support other women. Talk to them first, compliment them randomly, support their hard work, give room to those who are quiet and shyer than you.

Seek out art and media centering women and created by women. Be vocal with your support.

Be clear that you are looking for a GIRLfriend. That you want a WIFE. You choose who you are looking for, and you are never obligated to be open for men or give men a chance.

Support women’s causes. Always look and ask for a woman’s perspective on any issue.

Vote for a woman.

Vocally support lesbians. Vocally support bisexuals. Express solidarity for each other.

Be loving, be kind, be brave. Go to other women and invite other women to you. Reach out and take her hand. Reach out and offer your hand in return.

[bisexualnotcuir]

It's equal parts sad and heartening to see bisexual women in the past on the cusp of the febfem label but without the language to express it

[bisexualnotcuir]

[bisexualnotcuir]

Happy Bisexual Visibility Day! 9/23/18

Our love is just as valid and beautiful as anyone else’s. No matter who our partner is, we’re Bi and we won’t let anyone take that away from us! 💖💜💙

[bisexualnotcuir]

The Creation of Sapphics by Mayticks

“Awed by her splendor, stars near the lovely moon cover their own bright faces when she is roundest and lights earth with her silver.” - Sappho.

Print // Pin // Sticker

[bisexualnotcuir]

black queer lady artists

Be Steadwell - Self described “Queer pop” musician. Her style mixes soul with acapella and folk, and her lyrics are usually explicitly gay. Her latest album “Queer love songs” should be on all our pride playlists.

Domo Wilson - 23 year old lesbian rapper/independent artist and youtuber. She released her debut album “hear me now” this year and it’s very emotional and heartfelt. I’d also reccomend checking out her videos!

IAMDDB - I swear this woman is some kind of gay even if I don’t know what. She says everything she does is “for her ladies” Her music has been described as “Trap-Jazz” and her song “Shade” is a current favorite.

Janelle Monae - Bi/Pan concept album mastermind. Her music is very hard to describe, but maybe alt-pop heavily influenced by hiphop? Also she can rap! Just listen to “Django Jane.” She released an album this year titled “Dirty Computer” and a gay accompanying short film of the same name.

Kehlani - Queer contemporary r&b/neo soul artist. Listen to “Honey.” She also did an amazing song with Hayley Kiyoko, as well as some very gay lyrics on other peoples tracks. Her verses in “Playinwitme”, “Body Count” and “Icy GRL” are some examples.

Kelela - Queer Ethiopian-American Alternative r&b/Electronic musician. She’s very inspiring, has a lot of interesting takes on the music industry, and makes awesome music.

Kodie Shane - One of my all time favorite artists, Kodie Shane is like a queer hiphop goddess delivering more and more gay energy upon us every year since she started. Listen to everything she’s ever made. Start with “Sing to her”, it’s her latest single.

Syd/The Internet - Syd is a lesbian r&b artist who also fronts the r&b group The Internet. She regularly uses feminine language in her songs and her mvs are the greatest things ever. Also, look at that cute lil smile!

Tiara Thomas - Tiara is a pop/hiphop/r&b artist. She’ll never label her sexuality because she doesn’t want it to become bigger than her music. Some gay songs are “Retro 1’s” and “I’m still at the bar.”

Tiffany Gouche - Lesbian r&b/soul singer. Her EP “Pillowtalk” is good as hell and she recently released three new singles “Queen Tings”, “Dive” and “Down.”

[bisexualnotcuir]

All the Met Gala-inspired drawings I did this year (so far) I LOVED THIS YEAR SO MUCH. Please follow me on Instagram to see progress and additional pieces (and to vote on the next piece!)

[bisexualnotcuir]

[bisexualnotcuir]

I have some thoughts about stag/doe terminology and decided hey! I’m gonna make a post about it! So… here we are.

I wanna start off by saying this is no one bashing on the terms, and I actually really like the idea behind them. Hell, I even have “stag” in my about, so it absolutely isn’t me saying they’re bad terms and that people shouldn’t use them.

It’s just the definitions and way people are using them kinda, blatantly shows the misunderstanding of femme/butch, and completely waters down why butch/femme are so important.

The thing is, people are using stag/doe to mean “feminine” and “masculine”, without really having any other set of identity to them. They are specifically presentation terms, which isn’t bad, but it also isn’t… necessary.

If your term could be easily replaced by a word that people actually know the definition to (i.e. “masculine” instead of “stag”), then it isn’t going to catch on. People are more likely to just call themselves “masculine” or “gnc” than stag, since stag is such a small term that only very specific online communities even know it exists.

Femme and butch are way more than presentation terms, they are identities. They have specific meanings past “feminine” or “masculine,” so if your new terms for non-lesbian sapphics boil down to “masc/fem” then… they aren’t comparable terms. They aren’t bad, but they also aren’t comparable— they won’t successfully fill the role of “non-lesbian butch/femme.”

This is probably a controversial opinion but I don’t really care, but you really can’t make an equivalent to butch/femme, and that’s okay! You can make terms for yourself and your communities without insisting the attachment to preexisting terms— in fact, it’d probably be way better if we just dropped any attempt at making a “non-lesbian butch/femme.”

We as a community need to understand that we don’t need to draw from terms that already exist, we don’t have to make a watered down version of another communities terms for ourselves.

We can have our own terms, but what’s important is making them ours. They aren’t really our terms if they are just… vague masc/fem presentation terms. They have no specific connection to bi/pan/poly experiences, to our cultures, they just… describe how we present ourselves.

I don’t want this to make people feel bad for using doe/stag (again, I literally have stag in my about), I just want people to think more about these terms in a non-presentation context.

What is a doe? What is a stag? And I mean past “presents femininely” or “presents masculinely”— those are a start, but we need to think about them in a broader context.

We also need to stop trying to connect them to butch and femme— we don’t need to base our terms in lesbianism and lesbian communities when we aren’t lesbians. We should start thinking about ourselves. Think about our community. These terms will never feel “right” to a lot of us if we insist on basing them on something else’s culture.

This is getting rambly and I originally was going to link to specific posts about butch/femme meanings, but I’m getting tired so I’m just gonna point to @butchfemmelove since they have a lot of posts on the topic and I’m too tired to link specific ones (why did I decide to write this on no sleep? it’s a mystery).

So anyway

TL/DR: the current meanings behind stag/doe make it glaringly obvious that a lot of people don’t understand butch/femme, and we as non-lesbian sapphics should stop trying to make a “new” butch/femme, and instead make these terms completely new and unrelated to preexisting terminology/cultures.

(anyone can rb this)

[bisexualnotcuir]

I’m a bisexual woman and I have something to say about the current debate about the use or replacement of the terms “stag”, “doe” and “tomcat”. We need our own terminology, we need our uniqueness, we need words to describe ourselves, beside bisexual, to define other aspects of the way in which we present ourselves and differentiate ourselves from the other feminine, masculine or neither masculine or feminine women. We don't need and don't have to steal terms from the lesbian community, we don't need to appropriate lesbians's uniqueness, we need and we can have our own. Butch and femme are not our terms, we can't use them, they meant for lesbians and for lesbians only. Stag, Doe and Tomcat could be our terms but I've seen some bi women talking about the fact that black bisexual women are uncomfortable with them and I don't want to use words that some of my sisters are uncomfortable with, with valid motivations, I don't want to ignore their claims and their voices. I don't want to describe myself with words that are considered as racist from our sisters. It's other bisexual women that are complaining about the use of these terms and they need to be heard. These terms are not even well-established, we could easily replace them with other terms and I've seen some suggestions, we need to work on our community and we need to listen to ALL of us, not only the white ones.

#stag bi #doe bi #tomcat bi #stag #doe #tomcat #bisexual

[bisexualnotcuir]

I’ve noticed a reoccurring problem when we talk about potential bisexual terms (The most popular ones right now are Stag/Tomcat/Doe). These terms are still very new, and people are making different different terms for them left and right (Oh I don’t like the animal theme, let’s go with a flower theme. No lets go with a tree theme etc etc). It doesn’t matter WHAT the terms are if we can’t submit a common experience to associate them with. We need to dig deeper and really think about what our experiences are and what differentiates our experience with gender compared to other women, something that only bi women experience and can relate to. When you say doe is a feminine bi woman, what does that mean? How is that different or special from feminine lesbians and feminine straight women? How does us being feminine deserve a whole identity? (Hint: Being feminine alone is not enough to base a whole identity off of, that’s not how meaningful identities are created.) It should never be about presentation, because these labels should be more than a quirky aesthetic label we can slap on ourselves. Not only that but this lazy definition leads to issues like people believing the aesthetic is the sole purpose. I moderate quite a few bi positivity blogs and every day I see things like “My hair is short does that mean I can’t be a Doe?” and “Sometimes I’m masculine and sometimes I’m not so does that mean I’m a Tomcat-y Stag.” I don’t mean to be rude but there’s no longer anything meaningful about these terms and everyone who is too lazy (Or just doesn’t know how) to do some critical thinking and really examine what your experiences with gender and bisexuality are, and how those experiences are held in common with other bi women, to create a need for community, are embarrassing the culture that we are trying to make for ourselves. And as an aside I think we need to stay away from the animal terms. Many bi women of color have expressed discomfort with the animal terms because being compared to animals is a prevalent part of anti-blackness and other forms of racism. Bi women’s terms should be readily acceptable to ALL bi women. If you are white, and you say you can’t give up (Doe/Tomcat/Stag) because you’re already attached to them, you should examine why anti-blackness and the discomfort of women of color in our community isn’t more of a priority for you. 

[bisexualnotcuir]

Friendly reminder that just because you feel attraction to men does not mean that you will inevitably end up with one / have to change how you act or dress for one. It’s perfectly possible and wonderful for you to keep on existing as your loud and proud gnc self. You can recognise your attraction to men while still wanting to love and be with women, and it doesn’t make that love less than, and if you date men then you don’t need to compromise who you are for his comfort

[bisexualnotcuir]

So here for my not conventionally attractive bi women, my just a little odd bi women, my jacked as fuck bi women, my bi women with acne who don’t care to cover it, my bi women who are manual labourers with rough hands from work they love and a life lived, my bi women who are true to themselves and their personalities even if it means it’s harder to date men, my bi women who can’t relate to the TV trope that bi women are all feminine and cute and basically like pretty straight girls who occasionally kiss women you’re all fucking stars and I love you

[bisexualnotcuir]

[bisexualnotcuir]

God is a woman - Ariana Grande lockscreens

[bisexualnotcuir]

💗💜💙